1
00:00:04,382 --> 00:00:06,843
Ugh, I'm tired of being out here.

2
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:08,714
I wanna go home.

3
00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:11,171
Eww, Earth?
In space we can do whatever

4
00:00:11,196 --> 00:00:13,956
the hell we want with
basically no responsibilities.

5
00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:15,983
Kind of my point.
Maybe I'm ready to start

6
00:00:16,026 --> 00:00:19,234
having a real life instead of
being stuck here with your ass.

7
00:00:19,562 --> 00:00:22,193
Shh, my ass might hear you,
and it's very sensitive.

8
00:00:22,218 --> 00:00:24,773
- Of course, you know that.
- Not engaging.

9
00:00:24,929 --> 00:00:27,646
I'm just saying, maybe it's
time to hang this all up and...

10
00:00:27,671 --> 00:00:30,342
Ugh, is this about
your aching uterus again?

11
00:00:30,367 --> 00:00:32,115
Okay, who said anything about...

12
00:00:32,140 --> 00:00:34,420
Well, we haven't talked
about settling down but...

13
00:00:34,445 --> 00:00:36,271
- Nope.
- Key word "settling."

14
00:00:36,296 --> 00:00:37,318
I'm down with going to Earth.

15
00:00:37,343 --> 00:00:39,435
I could use some fresh faces to bang.

16
00:00:39,460 --> 00:00:43,967
And our bar stock is so low,
I may have to resort to beer.

17
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:45,446
Has everyone gone crazy?

18
00:00:45,447 --> 00:00:48,232
We're on the final frontier
and you want to go back

19
00:00:48,267 --> 00:00:51,192
to doing day jobs
and gravity-laden sex?

20
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,438
- Not my first preference.
- I vote with Archer.

21
00:00:53,463 --> 00:00:56,320
- Robots don't get a vote.
- I prefer "synthetic human."

22
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,803
No one gets to vote.
I'm the captain.

23
00:00:59,828 --> 00:01:02,895
Co-captain.
And as the other co-captain,

24
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,803
I am setting a course for Earth.

25
00:01:04,828 --> 00:01:08,851
No, Lana, I will not let you
hyperspace us to Boring-town.

26
00:01:11,479 --> 00:01:12,874
What the... ow!

27
00:01:13,882 --> 00:01:18,882
- Holy spacesnacks!
- It's a Dri'n battle cruiser.

28
00:01:19,906 --> 00:01:22,014
And somehow it hasn't noticed us.

29
00:01:22,039 --> 00:01:25,052
No, we're too close for its
long-range scanners to pick us up.

30
00:01:25,095 --> 00:01:26,923
Great, let's just loop around
this bad boy

31
00:01:26,967 --> 00:01:29,428
and hyperspace somewhere
that is not Earth.

32
00:01:29,453 --> 00:01:31,404
If we can destroy it, we will cripple

33
00:01:31,429 --> 00:01:34,060
- pirate activity in this sector.
- Who cares?

34
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:37,464
And collect a 30 million
credit bounty for taking it out.

35
00:01:37,489 --> 00:01:41,378
As I was saying,
who cares about combatting

36
00:01:41,403 --> 00:01:44,653
- space piracy more than me?
- Exactly.

37
00:01:44,678 --> 00:01:48,456
The very reasonable reward
is just icing on the cake.

38
00:01:48,481 --> 00:01:51,464
- Guys, as captain of this ship...
- Co-captain.

39
00:01:51,489 --> 00:01:53,378
I am making an executive decision.

40
00:01:53,403 --> 00:01:57,266
- We're taking out that Dri'n bastard.
- Like I already executively decided.

41
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,815
Hands in.
"Space cowboys" on three.

42
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,606
One, two...

43
00:02:04,778 --> 00:02:06,496
What the hell are you doing?

44
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:44,692
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~

45
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,813
Okay, here's the plan:
after we board the ship,

46
00:02:52,838 --> 00:02:55,948
knock out a couple of Dri'n guards,
and then... you'll love this...

47
00:02:55,992 --> 00:02:58,517
- put on their clothes...
- Not to be a buzzkill,

48
00:02:58,542 --> 00:03:01,345
but you think there'll really
be a plus-sized pirate onboard?

49
00:03:01,370 --> 00:03:04,392
- Ugh, this is a horrible plan.
- I'm not finished.

50
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,649
Pam, you'll be our "prisoner."

51
00:03:06,674 --> 00:03:08,556
- Sweet!
- Lucky.

52
00:03:08,581 --> 00:03:10,978
- Still a horrible plan.
- Let me finish!

53
00:03:11,003 --> 00:03:14,549
We'll infiltrate the ship
disguised as Dri'n guards.

54
00:03:15,768 --> 00:03:17,462
That's it.
That's the whole plan.

55
00:03:17,487 --> 00:03:21,017
This is not a plan. This is the
plot of several famous films.

56
00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:22,938
Well, why do you think
they're famous, Lana?

57
00:03:22,963 --> 00:03:24,745
We'll need Ray
to get us some explosives.

58
00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:26,606
He's taking a sick day.

59
00:03:26,631 --> 00:03:28,231
- Of course he is.
- We get those?

60
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,204
It's a miracle we don't
crash into the sun

61
00:03:30,229 --> 00:03:34,335
with all you Sick Day Cyrils
and Personal Day Pams.

62
00:03:34,378 --> 00:03:37,342
It is a pretty generous
package if you use it right.

63
00:03:37,367 --> 00:03:38,469
Space phrasing.

64
00:03:38,513 --> 00:03:40,035
Well, where am I supposed
to get explosives?

65
00:03:40,036 --> 00:03:43,010
"Thermite" be something
I can do to help.

66
00:03:43,505 --> 00:03:45,681
Referencing thermite explosives.

67
00:03:46,346 --> 00:03:47,884
I did not enjoy that.

68
00:03:47,909 --> 00:03:49,227
Does this thing havean off switch?

69
00:03:49,948 --> 00:03:53,232
- Aww, I have feelings.
- Volume control? Anything?

70
00:03:53,257 --> 00:03:55,259
Then we'll plant the thermite
all over the ship

71
00:03:55,284 --> 00:03:57,540
and "hola explosivo."

72
00:03:57,565 --> 00:03:59,993
- I'm confused.
- It's Spanish, Pam.

73
00:04:00,018 --> 00:04:02,149
No, how will we get
the "Seamus" out of here

74
00:04:02,174 --> 00:04:03,524
without us pinging their scanners?

75
00:04:03,549 --> 00:04:05,212
That's where Cyril and Carol come in.

76
00:04:05,237 --> 00:04:08,026
You two will disable
the radar system on board.

77
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,063
- Whoo-hoo!
- Please don't.

78
00:04:10,088 --> 00:04:14,220
- I can disable the radar system!
- Can you disable yourself?

79
00:04:14,245 --> 00:04:17,243
- Beep, bop, boop. Ya burnt.
- Why not Krieger?

80
00:04:17,283 --> 00:04:19,126
I mean, he's qualified
even if he is a replicant.

81
00:04:19,151 --> 00:04:22,713
Thank you, Lana, but I like to
think I'm more of a Repli-can.

82
00:04:23,651 --> 00:04:24,704
No bots.

83
00:04:24,729 --> 00:04:27,423
- Mother, you stay and run comms.
- Stay here?

84
00:04:27,682 --> 00:04:30,681
With the liquor?
Well, if you insist.

85
00:04:30,721 --> 00:04:33,377
Space cowboys, let's ride!

86
00:04:34,377 --> 00:04:36,667
Would you stop trying
to make "space cowboys" stick?

87
00:04:36,692 --> 00:04:38,259
- It isn't.
- Fine, Lana.

88
00:04:38,284 --> 00:04:40,110
You stay here and be
the world-weary

89
00:04:40,135 --> 00:04:42,493
space saloon/brothel madam.

90
00:04:42,518 --> 00:04:44,970
- I wanna be a brothel madam!
- Ooh, I... I could be the banker

91
00:04:44,995 --> 00:04:46,313
and wear one of those green visors.

92
00:04:46,338 --> 00:04:48,624
Everybody stop making this stick!

93
00:04:49,073 --> 00:04:51,267
And if anything,
I would be co-sheriff.

94
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:53,752
- That's not a thing.
- The whole thing's not a thing!

95
00:04:54,096 --> 00:04:55,477
Whoa, space cowboys.

96
00:04:55,502 --> 00:04:57,954
- What is it now, Krieger?
- I've got helpful gadgets!

97
00:04:57,979 --> 00:04:59,501
Like these voice changers!

98
00:04:59,526 --> 00:05:01,454
The Dri'n tongue is a beast,
you know.

99
00:05:01,479 --> 00:05:04,298
Fine, but honestly, Krieger,
this is all a little thirsty.

100
00:05:04,323 --> 00:05:07,182
- Like Lana's ovaries.
- Not engaging.

101
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:11,498
Doesn't someone need to be
proposing before you're engaging?

102
00:05:11,542 --> 00:05:15,392
- Not en...
- She totally disarmed your phrase.

103
00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:18,237
So what's our plan when these
shitty voicechangers don't work?

104
00:05:18,262 --> 00:05:19,832
- I can hear you.
- Well, I picked up

105
00:05:19,857 --> 00:05:21,777
some phrases
banging a pirate or two.

106
00:05:21,802 --> 00:05:23,720
Here's how to say,
"Faster, harder."

107
00:05:23,745 --> 00:05:26,073
Because that'll come in handy.

108
00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:28,963
Now you try it.

109
00:05:30,862 --> 00:05:34,196
No, it's more like...
you know the sound you make

110
00:05:34,221 --> 00:05:36,876
after letting out a fart
you've been holding in all day?

111
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,767
Oh, please.
You've never held in a fart

112
00:05:38,792 --> 00:05:41,104
- in your life.
- Tough but fair.

113
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,257
Like now, Pam.

114
00:05:43,290 --> 00:05:45,307
Now would have been
a great time to hold it in.

115
00:05:45,331 --> 00:05:46,956
_

116
00:05:46,981 --> 00:05:48,808
_

117
00:05:49,948 --> 00:05:51,677
I have... I have no idea

118
00:05:51,702 --> 00:05:54,252
what she said,
but it just sounds funny.

119
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:56,761
Jesus, Cyril, watch the landing.

120
00:05:56,786 --> 00:05:59,570
- You gotta slide it in there gently.
- _

121
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,075
You are a terrible pilot.

122
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:05,357
You put me on a job
that's not my specialty.

123
00:06:05,382 --> 00:06:07,833
- That's bad captaining.
- Co-captaining.

124
00:06:07,858 --> 00:06:10,091
- Oh, now you share the credit?
- Fine.

125
00:06:10,116 --> 00:06:12,782
I should have assigned Cyril
to his specialty of, uh...

126
00:06:12,826 --> 00:06:15,692
what is your specialty again?
Space accounting?

127
00:06:15,717 --> 00:06:18,009
You're putting "space" in front of it
to make it extra silly,

128
00:06:18,034 --> 00:06:20,663
but it's actually really an
important part of running a ship.

129
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:26,655
That was quick.

130
00:06:38,611 --> 00:06:40,025
He's asking...

131
00:06:46,663 --> 00:06:49,922
He was just asking where we got
these human costumes, but...

132
00:06:50,141 --> 00:06:53,460
Oh, thank God you're here, Cyril.
You're so quick on the draw.

133
00:06:53,485 --> 00:06:55,350
My blaster got stuck in its holster.

134
00:06:55,375 --> 00:06:57,053
- I can help with that.
- Stop it!

135
00:06:57,078 --> 00:06:59,030
Unwanted advance in the workplace.

136
00:06:59,055 --> 00:07:01,697
Take it up with the Dri'n pirate HR.

137
00:07:02,164 --> 00:07:04,983
Get those uniforms on
and put in your voice changers.

138
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,784
- More pirates will be coming.
- On my tits. Whaaat?

139
00:07:07,809 --> 00:07:10,610
- Do you even have tits?
- They're retractable.

140
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,150
Now, where is that mainframe?

141
00:07:15,175 --> 00:07:17,264
This ship has zero Feng Shui.

142
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,107
Whoa.

143
00:07:20,297 --> 00:07:23,544
There's gotta be a switch to
get a laser bridge or something.

144
00:07:23,927 --> 00:07:28,086
Why people build dangerous ravines
in spaceships is beyond me.

145
00:07:32,404 --> 00:07:34,083
You gotta warn me next time!

146
00:07:34,108 --> 00:07:36,825
We almost... and that hook
is not secure!

147
00:07:36,850 --> 00:07:39,067
How do you even know
the mainframe is on this side?

148
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:42,066
Oh, I don't. I just find
terror kind of hot, you know?

149
00:07:42,091 --> 00:07:43,395
I do not know.

150
00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:45,280
Not to mention the woman
swinging the man across

151
00:07:45,305 --> 00:07:49,170
is totally...
emasculating! Shit balls!

152
00:07:51,303 --> 00:07:52,926
Guys, remember, place them

153
00:07:52,951 --> 00:07:55,544
on the structural beams
for maximum impact.

154
00:07:55,569 --> 00:07:57,998
I need more.
I'm missing a testicle.

155
00:07:58,023 --> 00:08:00,348
- What the hell are you doing?
- What's the big deal?

156
00:08:00,373 --> 00:08:03,270
It's thermite; throw it anywhere,
it's gonna blow up the ship.

157
00:08:03,295 --> 00:08:06,600
- I'm not letting you waste thermite.
- Give me the thermite.

158
00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:08,897
- God damn it, Archer.
- Uh-oh.

159
00:08:09,678 --> 00:08:12,887
It was an accident.
Yeah, it was flirty horseplay.

160
00:08:12,912 --> 00:08:15,223
- These aren't toys.
- Your boobs?

161
00:08:15,248 --> 00:08:17,442
- Because I beg to differ.
- It's stuck.

162
00:08:17,467 --> 00:08:19,614
Krieger, how do you peel off
these thermite charges?

163
00:08:19,639 --> 00:08:21,653
- Oh, no worries there.
- Oh, good.

164
00:08:21,678 --> 00:08:24,479
It's a super polymer.
Can't be removed or disarmed.

165
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,681
I thought they would peel off
like air fresheners.

166
00:08:27,706 --> 00:08:30,681
They look like air fresheners.
Just take your shirt off, then.

167
00:08:30,706 --> 00:08:33,290
I'm not wearing a shirt
or bra under this.

168
00:08:33,315 --> 00:08:36,496
- Oh, I noticed.
- We all noticed. Is it for the pirates?

169
00:08:36,497 --> 00:08:39,376
Because they do not make
good husbands, Lana.

170
00:08:39,401 --> 00:08:42,079
I am not trying
to get a pirate husband!

171
00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:45,592
This ship has no AC and pirate
garb isn't exactly... oh, shit.

172
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,179
_

173
00:08:47,204 --> 00:08:48,698
__

174
00:08:48,699 --> 00:08:49,792
_

175
00:08:49,934 --> 00:08:52,575
__

176
00:08:52,914 --> 00:08:53,961
Hey!

177
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,216
Huh, it actually worked.

178
00:09:00,683 --> 00:09:02,772
Almost like Krieger knows
what he was doing.

179
00:09:02,797 --> 00:09:05,820
I'm sorry, Lana.
He'll never be a space cowboy.

180
00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:08,718
- Now, let's blow up this ship...
- Without blowing my tits off.

181
00:09:08,743 --> 00:09:10,702
Give me one more.
I need to finish my testicle.

182
00:09:10,727 --> 00:09:12,837
- Here.
- Seriously?!

183
00:09:12,881 --> 00:09:15,078
Guys, even for me
this is getting childish.

184
00:09:15,103 --> 00:09:18,406
Don't mention children.
Lana will smear her mascara.

185
00:09:18,431 --> 00:09:21,922
Eavesdropping and lobbing
insults is not running comms.

186
00:09:21,947 --> 00:09:23,650
I knew I should have done
the assigning, because

187
00:09:23,675 --> 00:09:26,870
everyone you picked is
spectacularly wrong for the job.

188
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,750
See, this is
what I'm talking about.

189
00:09:28,775 --> 00:09:31,629
Why would they put the mainframe
right next door to the mess?

190
00:09:31,664 --> 00:09:33,453
The heat would be hell
on the data core.

191
00:09:33,478 --> 00:09:34,961
What, did you read that in your

192
00:09:34,986 --> 00:09:38,314
- spaceship architecture magazine?
- You mean"Starchitectural Digest"?

193
00:09:38,439 --> 00:09:40,423
Yes. Shall we get to work?

194
00:09:44,368 --> 00:09:46,603
Um... do you know how to
disable a radar system?

195
00:09:47,111 --> 00:09:49,078
- No.
- Is this another "fear is hot" thing,

196
00:09:49,103 --> 00:09:51,310
or do you really not know?
Because I sure don't.

197
00:09:52,185 --> 00:09:53,572
Ugh, bad captaining!

198
00:09:54,212 --> 00:09:56,036
Mission accomplished.

199
00:09:56,323 --> 00:09:58,281
How long should we set
the timers for?

200
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,195
All right, let's see.
Uh, Cyril and Cheryl have

201
00:10:00,220 --> 00:10:02,031
to disarm the radar; we all
have to get to the hatch;

202
00:10:02,056 --> 00:10:03,734
and I have to strip this pirate suit off

203
00:10:03,759 --> 00:10:06,023
- so the bomb won't blowmy tits off.
- And Archer's baby-maker!

204
00:10:06,048 --> 00:10:08,903
Don't... don't say "baby," Pam,
because you know...

205
00:10:10,072 --> 00:10:11,063
Shit!

206
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:12,930
You set them off!
How much time we got?

207
00:10:12,955 --> 00:10:14,875
- Shit, 11 minutes.
- Jesus!

208
00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:16,867
Couldn't you have kicked
a higher number?

209
00:10:16,892 --> 00:10:18,797
Or, you know, not at all?

210
00:10:18,822 --> 00:10:21,522
- We gotta run.
- Yeah, not much of a runner.

211
00:10:21,547 --> 00:10:23,375
Okay, guys, listen up.
We have 11 minutes

212
00:10:23,408 --> 00:10:25,594
to get our asses off this
ship before it explodes.

213
00:10:25,619 --> 00:10:28,242
Oh, God.
If you find terror hot,

214
00:10:28,267 --> 00:10:29,859
I must be gorgeous to you right now.

215
00:10:29,884 --> 00:10:32,813
- Yeah.
- No, stop! I shouldn't even be here!

216
00:10:32,838 --> 00:10:33,938
I should have been the one

217
00:10:33,963 --> 00:10:36,102
kicking back on the "Seamus"
running comms!

218
00:10:36,127 --> 00:10:38,930
For your information,
I've got my hands full.

219
00:10:38,955 --> 00:10:40,328
Full of what, gin and tonics?

220
00:10:40,353 --> 00:10:42,063
I don't know
what you're talking about.

221
00:10:42,088 --> 00:10:43,453
We can hear the ice clinking.

222
00:10:43,478 --> 00:10:47,375
No, that's space static.
Must be sun spots.

223
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,523
We need you to connect us with Ray.

224
00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:52,781
- He's on a sick day!
- We're going to blow up in 11 minutes.

225
00:10:52,946 --> 00:10:54,207
Closer to ten.

226
00:10:54,543 --> 00:10:57,525
Hold, please. Ray?

227
00:10:58,635 --> 00:11:00,297
Ray, thank God.
We need your help.

228
00:11:00,322 --> 00:11:02,008
Yeah, kind of in the middle
of something.

229
00:11:02,033 --> 00:11:06,578
Ray our surgery pod is
not designed for recreational use.

230
00:11:06,603 --> 00:11:09,586
- This is a medical procedure.
- Scented candles?

231
00:11:09,611 --> 00:11:12,672
Is it a crime to want
to brighten up my colonoscopy?

232
00:11:12,697 --> 00:11:15,795
- I think not.
- You said it wasn't recreational!

233
00:11:15,820 --> 00:11:17,953
Colorectal cancer's serious business.

234
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:20,119
You should be checked
every 10 years after 50.

235
00:11:20,144 --> 00:11:21,797
Ugh, how old are you?

236
00:11:21,822 --> 00:11:25,492
Or if you have atypical symptoms,
like a change in bowel habits.

237
00:11:25,517 --> 00:11:27,133
Speaking of which,
we're in the bowels

238
00:11:27,158 --> 00:11:29,541
- of an enemy battle cruiser!
- I'll be wearing

239
00:11:29,566 --> 00:11:32,930
my colorectal blue ribbon
that says, "I got tested."

240
00:11:32,955 --> 00:11:34,492
Tomorrow, after my sick day.

241
00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:35,596
Which you're interrupting.

242
00:11:35,631 --> 00:11:37,555
Ugh, we need you
to walk us through disabling

243
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:40,311
a giant spaceship
radar system thingy.

244
00:11:40,336 --> 00:11:42,869
But my crisis vest is on Deck 2!

245
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,212
- Ray!
- Fine.

246
00:11:46,256 --> 00:11:48,321
Let old Ray just interrupt
his prescribed

247
00:11:48,346 --> 00:11:50,391
lifesaving medical test to call up

248
00:11:50,416 --> 00:11:53,611
alien battle cruiser schematics
on his sick day.

249
00:11:54,086 --> 00:11:56,219
Don't suppose you have
a ship model number?

250
00:11:56,244 --> 00:11:59,094
We're inside the ship, so no.
And kind of in a hurry!

251
00:11:59,095 --> 00:12:00,666
Do you see a blinking green light?

252
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:04,330
We're dead.

253
00:12:04,728 --> 00:12:07,453
Don't you just crave its sweet release?

254
00:12:07,478 --> 00:12:10,931
Okay, sending you
the disarming protocols...

255
00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:13,227
- ...now.
- Thanks, Ray, you're a lifesaver.

256
00:12:13,252 --> 00:12:17,078
You're... God damn it, Ray.
Is this a picture of your colon?

257
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,375
- Aww.
- Sorry.

258
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,788
This wine might be mixing
with my propofol.

259
00:12:21,049 --> 00:12:22,431
I do see why this is addictive.

260
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,203
We only have eight minutes!

261
00:12:24,228 --> 00:12:26,556
Don't get your panties in a bunch.

262
00:12:27,757 --> 00:12:29,767
Also, do you see any polyps?

263
00:12:30,181 --> 00:12:33,563
Lana, how is it possible you
wanna give all this up for diapers?

264
00:12:33,588 --> 00:12:35,829
I don't know, maybe because
I don't need to play two-bit

265
00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:38,367
space cowboy just because
I'm scared of commitment.

266
00:12:38,392 --> 00:12:41,063
How dare you speak
precisely the truth at me.

267
00:12:41,088 --> 00:12:44,071
- Hey, guys! Wait up!
- You used to be fun.

268
00:12:44,072 --> 00:12:46,962
Now you want to do not-fun stuff
like settling down.

269
00:12:46,987 --> 00:12:50,852
- Well, I got news for you, sister.
- Don't say that, ever.

270
00:12:50,877 --> 00:12:54,149
- Settling is for potato chips.
- Oh, God, Archer.

271
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:56,599
Will you stop treating me
like some baby-crazy cliché

272
00:12:56,624 --> 00:12:58,234
of maternal desire?

273
00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:05,414
- Aww, look at them!
- Oh, come on, Lana.

274
00:13:06,541 --> 00:13:09,758
- Space ocelots.
- Actually, they're called "grimalkians."

275
00:13:09,783 --> 00:13:14,049
Shut your mouth, Pam.
That is a goddamn space ocelot.

276
00:13:16,049 --> 00:13:17,539
Ah, son of a bitch.

277
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:20,071
- You're a real natural.
- I've seen these before.

278
00:13:20,096 --> 00:13:22,250
A shithead ex of mine
had one as a pet.

279
00:13:22,275 --> 00:13:24,446
- I think they're endangered.
- No doubt the Dri'n

280
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,453
stole them to sell their fur
to illegal traders.

281
00:13:26,478 --> 00:13:29,617
Yeah, this ex was an illegal
trader, so that all tracks.

282
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:33,575
Shit, we've only got seven minutes
to get off this death star...

283
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,336
lowercase "D," lowercase "S"...

284
00:13:35,361 --> 00:13:38,750
and back to the "Seamus" before
we explode in a million pieces.

285
00:13:38,775 --> 00:13:40,610
No, we can't blow up the ship
with them onboard.

286
00:13:40,635 --> 00:13:44,328
- They'll go extinct.
- I'll watch anything that asshole loved burn.

287
00:13:44,353 --> 00:13:46,602
Just look how adorable they are.

288
00:13:46,645 --> 00:13:48,473
Ow!

289
00:13:48,892 --> 00:13:51,838
Guys, look at this!
They love me!

290
00:13:51,863 --> 00:13:53,516
It's like I'm their king!

291
00:13:56,814 --> 00:13:59,125
Uh, Cyril, Cheryl?
Did you guys...

292
00:13:59,181 --> 00:14:01,906
Fail spectacularly at the one task
you were given?

293
00:14:01,931 --> 00:14:03,856
You said turn off the radar.

294
00:14:03,899 --> 00:14:05,727
You didn't say anything
about an alarm!

295
00:14:05,752 --> 00:14:07,860
It was clearly implied.

296
00:14:07,903 --> 00:14:09,469
Yes, it was.
Wasn't it?

297
00:14:09,470 --> 00:14:11,361
Yes, it was.

298
00:14:20,567 --> 00:14:23,039
All clear.
No intruders in here.

299
00:14:23,064 --> 00:14:26,032
- Oh, shit, is that English?
- He's the intruder you're looking for!

300
00:14:26,057 --> 00:14:27,908
Aww, balls.
Mine's broken too.

301
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:33,705
- Hey, screw you for that.
- Girl's gotta self-preserve, dude.

302
00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:37,578
Okay, so now we need
to rescue Cyril and Cheryl...

303
00:14:37,603 --> 00:14:40,108
Yeah, that's great, but we
have another rescue first.

304
00:14:40,151 --> 00:14:42,063
- What?
- The space ocelots, Pam.

305
00:14:42,088 --> 00:14:45,406
We've got six minutes,
so let's start with the...

306
00:14:45,454 --> 00:14:47,914
widdle baby furballs.

307
00:14:47,939 --> 00:14:51,094
- Oh, mother...
- Is not what you should be,

308
00:14:51,119 --> 00:14:53,587
because these things
do not like you.

309
00:14:53,612 --> 00:14:56,306
It is a hilarious twist of fate.

310
00:14:57,385 --> 00:14:59,831
Holy hell, those little
twerps are quick.

311
00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:03,002
- Oh, well. Let's get out of here.
- What the...

312
00:15:04,377 --> 00:15:08,531
- Aww, he likes you.
- Um, no, Lana. He loves me.

313
00:15:08,571 --> 00:15:11,672
This guy is so cool.
Here, Lana, get a picture.

314
00:15:11,697 --> 00:15:14,219
Just kick the little shit off
and let's roll!

315
00:15:14,244 --> 00:15:15,349
We're buds!

316
00:15:15,350 --> 00:15:18,562
I'm a badass space cowboy,
and he's my deputy!

317
00:15:18,587 --> 00:15:20,398
Don't you wanna
jump on my shoulder

318
00:15:20,423 --> 00:15:24,359
and be my widdle deputy?
I'm a co-space cowboy.

319
00:15:24,384 --> 00:15:27,798
Wow, jealousy is an
ugly color on you, Lana.

320
00:15:28,697 --> 00:15:30,873
Something's wrong with this blaster!

321
00:15:31,714 --> 00:15:33,716
Have you tried opening your eyes?

322
00:15:34,494 --> 00:15:35,414
Yes!

323
00:15:35,439 --> 00:15:38,017
They actually are open!
For real!

324
00:15:40,908 --> 00:15:43,465
Guess that's not a factor anyway.

325
00:15:45,564 --> 00:15:47,382
Where's the fire, brother?

326
00:15:48,079 --> 00:15:49,931
Oh, shit, was that English?

327
00:15:50,767 --> 00:15:52,812
Why'd you even open
your big mouth, Archer?

328
00:15:52,837 --> 00:15:54,134
He was running right by us.

329
00:15:54,159 --> 00:15:58,072
I think the better question is,
why do we even have a ship robot

330
00:15:58,097 --> 00:16:01,525
if he can't even make his
stupid robot gadgets work?

331
00:16:02,642 --> 00:16:04,836
- We're cut off!
- My circulation is cut off.

332
00:16:04,861 --> 00:16:06,551
The grip on this thing is unreal.

333
00:16:07,086 --> 00:16:09,600
Look at this!
He's eating this shit up.

334
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:15,361
Come on, little buddy.
Let's go in the fun tunnel.

335
00:16:16,251 --> 00:16:17,633
- Pam?
- Nah.

336
00:16:17,658 --> 00:16:20,015
I don't do tight spaces
I'm not familiar with.

337
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,610
Just go. I'll hold them off
and meet you at the dock.

338
00:16:22,611 --> 00:16:25,228
Come and get it, space dicks!

339
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:29,151
- Well, at least it's downhill.
- A little too downhill.

340
00:16:29,176 --> 00:16:32,204
- Are you sure this is an air vent?
- Of course it's an air vent.

341
00:16:38,825 --> 00:16:41,134
Ugh, you've gotta be shitting me.

342
00:16:44,390 --> 00:16:46,570
Oops, I guess it wasn't an air vent.

343
00:16:49,796 --> 00:16:53,682
- Ah, my blaster jammed!
- Blasters don't jam, you lying fleshbag!

344
00:16:53,707 --> 00:16:55,404
You're pathetic!
Cover me!

345
00:16:59,437 --> 00:17:01,350
- I thought you had a plan!
- I do!

346
00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:03,976
- I'm making a necklace.
- I will give you one of my teeth.

347
00:17:04,001 --> 00:17:06,310
- Just get me off this ship.
- Nope, it's not the same.

348
00:17:06,335 --> 00:17:07,891
It has to be from a kill.

349
00:17:07,916 --> 00:17:10,475
Unless that's something
you might be interested in.

350
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:14,139
Ew, no. Hey, any chance
of getting a rescue here?

351
00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:16,310
- Yeah, uh, about that.
- Oh, Lana.

352
00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:18,306
- Thank God.
- Archer had us escape

353
00:17:18,331 --> 00:17:20,570
- in a stupid air vent that...
- Air vent, copy that.

354
00:17:23,736 --> 00:17:26,797
- Cyril, let her finish.
- Oh, God, this is a dead end.

355
00:17:26,822 --> 00:17:28,305
We have two minutes!
What do we do?

356
00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:29,914
Ugh, you're not gonna
wet your uniform

357
00:17:29,939 --> 00:17:32,337
like last time?
Not the time or place.

358
00:17:32,362 --> 00:17:34,102
Actually, this is
a pretty good time and place.

359
00:17:34,127 --> 00:17:37,070
New plan: we form
a human-ocelot ladder...

360
00:17:37,095 --> 00:17:39,947
- Ugh, I'd rather just die.
- To get back to the air vent.

361
00:17:39,972 --> 00:17:42,588
- Stop calling it an air vent.
- Fine!

362
00:17:42,806 --> 00:17:44,198
Pam!

363
00:17:44,223 --> 00:17:47,095
- Thank God.
- You're running the wrong way.

364
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:48,884
Cannonball!

365
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:51,446
It's in my mouth.

366
00:17:58,323 --> 00:18:00,497
This is not good.

367
00:18:03,168 --> 00:18:06,659
- Even my little ocelot bud bailed.
- I'm calling Krieger for backup.

368
00:18:06,684 --> 00:18:10,151
No, Lana.
Space cowboys do or die.

369
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:11,472
He's our only option.

370
00:18:11,497 --> 00:18:13,403
Malory, Krieger, come in!

371
00:18:14,629 --> 00:18:16,037
Come in!

372
00:18:16,072 --> 00:18:17,793
Yes! It's Krieger.
What do you need? I can do it!

373
00:18:17,818 --> 00:18:20,277
Get down here, stat.
We need backup immediately.

374
00:18:20,278 --> 00:18:21,854
- Trash compactor.
- I'm on it!

375
00:18:21,879 --> 00:18:24,731
Yes!
Needed by real humans.

376
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,050
My God, why did we even bring him?

377
00:18:31,075 --> 00:18:34,118
This is it, people!
This is the end!

378
00:18:34,162 --> 00:18:37,684
Brace yourselves for obliteration!

379
00:18:40,528 --> 00:18:42,425
I really like her this way.

380
00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:44,965
- I'm kind of into it myself.
- Wait! Look!

381
00:18:53,153 --> 00:18:56,247
Jesus!
They're demons in disguise.

382
00:18:56,433 --> 00:18:58,293
I've been fooled.

383
00:19:01,702 --> 00:19:03,050
- Ugh.
- Oh, my God.

384
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:05,278
Why does it have to be so gross?

385
00:19:07,622 --> 00:19:10,573
Stand back, folks.
I've "bot" this.

386
00:19:11,512 --> 00:19:12,950
And once again, you and

387
00:19:12,975 --> 00:19:15,856
your iron heart are
completely useless.

388
00:19:18,965 --> 00:19:20,034
There's my pal!

389
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:23,503
Back to normal.
You can't quit me, can you?

390
00:19:23,528 --> 00:19:24,839
How much time?

391
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:27,051
- 30 seconds.
- This is gonna be tight.

392
00:19:27,076 --> 00:19:29,159
It wouldn't be tight
if you hadn't screwed up

393
00:19:29,184 --> 00:19:30,989
- the assignments!
- Whatever, Lana.

394
00:19:31,014 --> 00:19:33,292
Maybe I screwed up the
assignments on purpose

395
00:19:33,317 --> 00:19:35,614
so you'd feel needed
and want to stay.

396
00:19:35,657 --> 00:19:37,520
Oh, please.
Maybe you're just saying that

397
00:19:37,545 --> 00:19:39,856
as a cool way to cover
screwing up the assignments.

398
00:19:39,881 --> 00:19:42,447
Oh, go have an Earth baby,
why don't you?

399
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:44,920
Oh, we can't just leave these
space ocelots here.

400
00:19:44,945 --> 00:19:46,614
Grimalkians.
And, yes, we can.

401
00:19:46,639 --> 00:19:48,294
Pam, I'm not gonna do this with you.

402
00:19:48,319 --> 00:19:51,465
- I'm already too upset.
- Oh, God, their eyes.

403
00:19:51,509 --> 00:19:53,770
- Even though they hate you?
- Yep, even though.

404
00:19:53,795 --> 00:19:55,763
- 15 seconds!
- I think these furry banshees

405
00:19:55,788 --> 00:19:57,819
are just gonna have
to stay on board.

406
00:20:12,850 --> 00:20:17,551
- I meant on board the other ship.
- Oh, God damn it to shit!

407
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:19,584
Can't these bastards stay
in the cargo hold?

408
00:20:20,155 --> 00:20:22,334
Mommy's just joking.

409
00:20:22,934 --> 00:20:25,502
I think we all know
who the fun parent is.

410
00:20:25,527 --> 00:20:32,467
sync & correction by f1nc0
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