1 00:00:01,980 --> 00:00:05,233 *THE SIMPSONS Season 29 Episode 01 2 00:00:32,683 --> 00:00:35,283 Aw, water soup again? 3 00:00:37,142 --> 00:00:39,158 Now it's crow soup. 4 00:00:39,297 --> 00:00:40,446 Ooh, I call an eye! 5 00:00:40,504 --> 00:00:42,337 - Me, two! - Me, three! 6 00:00:42,399 --> 00:00:44,697 And maggie gets the beak. 7 00:00:51,556 --> 00:00:54,033 Your hovel got in the way of my horse. 8 00:00:54,091 --> 00:00:56,252 Kiss his hooves in apology. 9 00:00:56,384 --> 00:00:57,720 Mm! Mm! Mm! 10 00:00:57,778 --> 00:00:59,912 Oh, please, forgive us, noble steed. 11 00:00:59,997 --> 00:01:03,189 Mm! Mm! Our nostrils are not worthy of your mighty stench. 12 00:01:03,247 --> 00:01:06,212 Mm! Mm! Are those new horseshoes? 13 00:01:06,285 --> 00:01:08,220 Oh, they look good on you! 14 00:01:08,310 --> 00:01:09,369 Mm! Mm! Mm! 15 00:01:14,493 --> 00:01:15,682 Lousy nobles! 16 00:01:15,782 --> 00:01:17,823 We serfs are starving, while they're feasting 17 00:01:17,935 --> 00:01:20,182 and jousting and posing for tapestries 18 00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:21,807 where they're friends with a unicorn. 19 00:01:21,865 --> 00:01:23,346 As if any unicorn would like them. 20 00:01:23,404 --> 00:01:25,643 Unicorns like nice people... I'm a nice person. 21 00:01:25,728 --> 00:01:28,862 Young lady, that kind of talk is anti-feudalist, 22 00:01:28,925 --> 00:01:30,237 and I won't have it! 23 00:01:30,295 --> 00:01:32,784 Without feudalism, we wouldn't have this hovel, 24 00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:35,912 our bountiful filth, or my awesome buboes. 25 00:01:36,026 --> 00:01:38,831 Ooh-hoo. I'll lance you later. 26 00:01:41,885 --> 00:01:44,374 Bart! They just stuck new severed heads up 27 00:01:44,432 --> 00:01:45,831 on the city walls! 28 00:01:45,889 --> 00:01:47,755 Oh! Can we go, ma? Can we? Can we? 29 00:01:47,813 --> 00:01:49,932 That's a lovely idea. 30 00:01:50,096 --> 00:01:51,901 Oh. And we can bring my mom. 31 00:01:52,003 --> 00:01:55,211 I hope she's doing okay in her new nursing home. 32 00:01:58,721 --> 00:02:00,315 Which one is your mom's web? 33 00:02:00,401 --> 00:02:01,885 Son, is that you? 34 00:02:01,983 --> 00:02:03,217 No. 35 00:02:04,143 --> 00:02:05,893 Ah, you ruined my nap! 36 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,807 Just like you ruined my daughter's life. 37 00:02:07,914 --> 00:02:09,346 That's her. 38 00:02:13,206 --> 00:02:15,320 They didn't skimp on the tar. 39 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:18,135 That's the secret to long-lasting heads. 40 00:02:18,255 --> 00:02:21,026 Ooh, there's ned flanders! 41 00:02:21,260 --> 00:02:23,542 It's always nice when you know someone. 42 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,823 Those are the kind of sideburns I was saying you should grow. 43 00:02:26,917 --> 00:02:28,153 Hmm... 44 00:02:28,211 --> 00:02:29,885 Pretty sharp. 45 00:02:30,010 --> 00:02:32,339 Pretty, pretty sharp. 46 00:02:32,406 --> 00:02:33,838 See how the heads of rich people 47 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,925 get the tallest pikes with the best view? 48 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,268 It's so unfair. 49 00:02:37,326 --> 00:02:39,523 I told you to lay off feudalism. 50 00:02:39,581 --> 00:02:41,139 It's the only system we know. 51 00:02:41,246 --> 00:02:44,214 We have no choice about it, and therefore it's the best. 52 00:02:44,281 --> 00:02:46,850 The system is designed to keep us down. 53 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,221 That's not true. 54 00:02:48,307 --> 00:02:49,953 In a great country like ours, 55 00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:53,390 a poor girl can grow up to be anything she wants... 56 00:02:53,457 --> 00:02:56,330 A wife or a harlot and... That's it. 57 00:02:56,388 --> 00:03:00,123 I wanted to be a harlot, but it's all who you know. 58 00:03:00,205 --> 00:03:01,650 It's never too late. 59 00:03:01,708 --> 00:03:04,502 Everyone is somebody's weird fetish. 60 00:03:05,447 --> 00:03:07,681 Mom. What's wrong with your skin? 61 00:03:07,739 --> 00:03:10,010 It's blue, and ice-cold. 62 00:03:10,088 --> 00:03:12,494 This could be a serious disease. 63 00:03:12,611 --> 00:03:14,885 Homer, she needs medical attention. 64 00:03:15,010 --> 00:03:17,914 Pretty, pretty sharp. 65 00:03:20,413 --> 00:03:22,463 It's never easy to say this. 66 00:03:22,521 --> 00:03:24,908 You've got... Genital snerfs. 67 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:31,875 Doc, is there any way to control occasional flare-ups? 68 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:35,265 - Nope. - Yeah! Yay! Yippee! 69 00:03:36,859 --> 00:03:38,335 Now, what have we here? 70 00:03:38,402 --> 00:03:40,779 Progressive frozen-mortification! 71 00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:43,294 This can only be the bite 72 00:03:43,352 --> 00:03:45,107 of an ice walker! 73 00:03:45,165 --> 00:03:46,482 An ice walker? 74 00:03:46,596 --> 00:03:48,531 Mom, how did this happen? 75 00:03:48,614 --> 00:03:50,830 Oh, I dated a ravenous wight 76 00:03:50,888 --> 00:03:52,747 who abhors the warmth of the living. 77 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,820 And? He got fresh. 78 00:03:54,887 --> 00:03:57,536 I'm sorry, baby. I know I screwed up. 79 00:03:57,630 --> 00:03:59,189 But you got to give me another chance. 80 00:03:59,256 --> 00:04:00,615 I love you. 81 00:04:00,693 --> 00:04:03,786 She's 900 years younger than you, you pervert. 82 00:04:03,919 --> 00:04:06,622 I like 'em young, that ain't no crime. 83 00:04:08,433 --> 00:04:10,466 Is my mom gonna be okay? 84 00:04:10,524 --> 00:04:12,771 Mm, I'm sorry, but a week from now, 85 00:04:12,935 --> 00:04:14,779 your mother will be frozen solid. 86 00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:17,007 No! No, that can't be. 87 00:04:17,093 --> 00:04:19,429 She's barely into her hag years. 88 00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:22,583 All you can do is give her leeches for the pain. 89 00:04:22,975 --> 00:04:24,544 Here's an organizer. 90 00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:28,310 So... So there's nothing we can do to save her? 91 00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:30,716 Mm... Well, there's one treatment. 92 00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:33,450 All we have to do is buy this amulet. 93 00:04:33,508 --> 00:04:35,343 My mom is saved! 94 00:04:35,599 --> 00:04:36,943 Yeah... 95 00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:38,749 But a hundred gp? 96 00:04:38,806 --> 00:04:41,474 I mean, that's more than tenth level fighter makes 97 00:04:41,533 --> 00:04:43,232 in an entire campaign. 98 00:04:43,290 --> 00:04:45,790 Don't worry, we'll figure it out. 99 00:04:46,136 --> 00:04:49,138 Hey, sweet young thang. 100 00:04:49,196 --> 00:04:51,563 What time they cuttin' you down? 101 00:04:51,675 --> 00:04:53,966 Ooh, baby! 102 00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:01,271 Okay, we just need to come up with a hundred gold pieces. 103 00:05:01,351 --> 00:05:03,279 How much do we have in our savings? 104 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,305 Hmm... Let me think. 105 00:05:05,391 --> 00:05:08,327 There's that thing... 106 00:05:10,568 --> 00:05:11,791 What are savings? 107 00:05:11,849 --> 00:05:13,911 Well, then we can sell our possessions. 108 00:05:14,005 --> 00:05:15,646 The pig. The spoon. 109 00:05:15,755 --> 00:05:16,939 The gelatinous cube 110 00:05:16,997 --> 00:05:18,580 has to be worth something. 111 00:05:18,638 --> 00:05:19,680 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 112 00:05:19,738 --> 00:05:21,237 Is this because of what happened to the cat? 113 00:05:21,294 --> 00:05:25,036 I told him not to nap on me. So... That's on him. 114 00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:28,052 Look, honey, I love your mom. 115 00:05:28,188 --> 00:05:30,825 As crones go, she's tops. 116 00:05:31,016 --> 00:05:32,911 But does it make sense... 117 00:05:32,969 --> 00:05:36,818 I mean total sense... To spend all that money 118 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,786 So a really old lady can get a little bit older? 119 00:05:40,895 --> 00:05:42,654 This is my mom's life! 120 00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:46,005 This family will do whatever it takes to keep her alive! 121 00:05:46,161 --> 00:05:47,364 Is that understood? 122 00:05:47,422 --> 00:05:48,621 Of course. Of course. 123 00:05:48,679 --> 00:05:49,794 Good. Good. 124 00:05:49,852 --> 00:05:51,119 Good. 125 00:05:52,718 --> 00:05:54,204 All I'm saying is... 126 00:05:55,340 --> 00:05:57,023 Homer Serfson, 127 00:05:57,125 --> 00:06:01,038 You are the most selfish jerk in the entire tri-kingdom area! 128 00:06:01,109 --> 00:06:02,912 I should have listened to that witch 129 00:06:02,979 --> 00:06:05,181 and married my twin brother, Markery. 130 00:06:05,248 --> 00:06:07,896 Always here if you need me, sis. 131 00:06:07,954 --> 00:06:10,201 Get lost, freak! She chose me! 132 00:06:10,341 --> 00:06:12,422 You get that money to save my mom, 133 00:06:12,489 --> 00:06:15,255 Or never set foot in this hovel again! 134 00:06:16,021 --> 00:06:18,857 Good things come to those who wait. 135 00:06:19,063 --> 00:06:20,451 Oh... 136 00:06:24,731 --> 00:06:26,597 Is Marge still sore at you, Homer? 137 00:06:26,663 --> 00:06:29,349 Yeah. It's not like I want to kill her mother. 138 00:06:29,417 --> 00:06:31,686 I just want to let her die from neglect. 139 00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:34,044 If I don't get the money for that amulet, 140 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,371 I'll be sleeping on the iron couch. 141 00:06:39,951 --> 00:06:42,146 Now, let's see here. "an urgent message 142 00:06:42,204 --> 00:06:44,560 for Milady Gwendolyn Partz." 143 00:06:44,618 --> 00:06:46,271 Uh, Milady Partz? 144 00:06:46,329 --> 00:06:48,765 Hey, has anyone seen Milady Partz? 145 00:06:48,823 --> 00:06:51,201 Ah, come on, somebody grab Milady Partz! 146 00:06:51,259 --> 00:06:54,107 That depends... how big is your dowry? 147 00:06:56,536 --> 00:06:58,974 You little craven, if I ever get my hands on you, 148 00:06:59,134 --> 00:07:00,708 I'm gonna slice you open and 149 00:07:00,765 --> 00:07:02,333 fried on... 150 00:07:02,391 --> 00:07:04,716 blood, black bile, yellow bile... 151 00:07:04,774 --> 00:07:06,036 "And phlegm." 152 00:07:14,607 --> 00:07:15,841 Yelling 153 00:07:16,285 --> 00:07:17,615 Aah! 154 00:07:17,701 --> 00:07:19,673 Okay, break's over. 155 00:07:24,659 --> 00:07:26,115 Uh, lord Montgomery? 156 00:07:26,173 --> 00:07:29,174 I've had some unforeseen family medical expenses, 157 00:07:29,298 --> 00:07:33,035 and I was wondering, could I get an advance on my salary? 158 00:07:33,117 --> 00:07:35,583 Uh, but first, can I have a salary? 159 00:07:36,654 --> 00:07:37,826 Peasants. 160 00:07:37,884 --> 00:07:40,927 Serfson, you've pushed that wheel around and around 161 00:07:41,101 --> 00:07:43,326 for 20 years... Did you ever wonder why? 162 00:07:43,384 --> 00:07:45,505 Mostly I just push it. 163 00:07:45,563 --> 00:07:47,154 Have you ever noticed that the wheel 164 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:48,779 isn't hooked up to anything? 165 00:07:50,201 --> 00:07:51,576 The rumors were true! 166 00:07:51,634 --> 00:07:54,404 But your work does produce something very special... 167 00:07:54,576 --> 00:07:55,763 Human misery... 168 00:07:55,821 --> 00:07:58,279 Which, when collected, ground into a powder 169 00:07:58,337 --> 00:08:02,240 and snorted, gives rich people tiny wings that do nothing. 170 00:08:02,393 --> 00:08:05,036 So if you help me, it reduces my suffering, 171 00:08:05,094 --> 00:08:07,898 which means less wing powder for my betters. 172 00:08:07,956 --> 00:08:09,424 I'm glad we had this talk. 173 00:08:09,482 --> 00:08:11,349 - But I really need the money... - Flit-flit. 174 00:08:11,413 --> 00:08:13,513 Thank you for your time. 175 00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:14,974 Mm... 176 00:08:19,161 --> 00:08:21,224 Hi, Azzlan. 177 00:08:21,404 --> 00:08:22,958 Marge, my child. 178 00:08:23,068 --> 00:08:26,724 I've come to offer solace in this difficult time. 179 00:08:26,863 --> 00:08:28,904 You mean convert me to your religion 180 00:08:28,990 --> 00:08:30,698 when I'm at my most vulnerable? 181 00:08:30,841 --> 00:08:32,934 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 182 00:08:33,099 --> 00:08:36,294 I'm just here to ask you an important question. 183 00:08:36,396 --> 00:08:38,115 Have you heard the news? 184 00:08:38,326 --> 00:08:40,576 Yes, yes. I will be saved. 185 00:08:40,732 --> 00:08:42,745 Thanks so much for stopping by. 186 00:08:42,812 --> 00:08:45,654 I'm just going to leave you with this literature, praise God... 187 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,580 I can't go home and face your mom 188 00:08:47,638 --> 00:08:49,726 without the money for that amulet. 189 00:08:50,557 --> 00:08:51,960 In here. 190 00:08:52,310 --> 00:08:54,222 Do you have your lucky lead nugget? 191 00:08:54,289 --> 00:08:55,661 Always. 192 00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,568 A lead-lick a day 193 00:08:57,654 --> 00:09:00,318 keeps the doctor a-blah... 194 00:09:10,507 --> 00:09:13,091 gold. Sweet, Sweet gold! 195 00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:15,333 Why didn't you ever tell us you could do magic? 196 00:09:15,451 --> 00:09:17,963 Because if the king finds out, he'll take me away 197 00:09:18,021 --> 00:09:20,114 and force me to be one of his evil wizards! 198 00:09:20,181 --> 00:09:21,949 You necromancing nitwits! 199 00:09:22,016 --> 00:09:25,193 I wanted an all-seeing eye, not this! 200 00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:29,462 No daughter of mine is gonna end up in the hex trade. 201 00:09:29,529 --> 00:09:31,359 Now, let's go buy that amulet. 202 00:09:31,426 --> 00:09:34,036 and don't worry, mum's the word. 203 00:09:34,099 --> 00:09:36,247 Did you say "the word"? 204 00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:37,658 Hmm? Ah? Hmm? 205 00:09:38,664 --> 00:09:40,864 Hi, Azzlan. Hi, Azzlan. 206 00:09:42,478 --> 00:09:43,611 12-nothing. 207 00:09:43,669 --> 00:09:45,044 My serve. 208 00:09:45,514 --> 00:09:48,449 You know, eventually, you're gonna run out of us. 209 00:09:48,610 --> 00:09:50,732 I said, my serve. 210 00:09:51,201 --> 00:09:53,974 Mom, I've got a surprise for you. 211 00:09:54,099 --> 00:09:55,611 Thanks to who? 212 00:09:55,669 --> 00:09:58,732 I said it when I was 11, and I'll say it now. 213 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,286 You're the greatest husband in the world. 214 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,357 Mmm... 215 00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:06,299 Where'd a dirt-poor loser like you 216 00:10:06,357 --> 00:10:07,804 get all the gold for that? 217 00:10:07,862 --> 00:10:09,228 Ohhhh, well... 218 00:10:09,286 --> 00:10:10,967 Let's just say... 219 00:10:11,042 --> 00:10:13,701 I strangled a leprechaun. 220 00:10:14,786 --> 00:10:16,076 I'm not wearing that. 221 00:10:16,154 --> 00:10:17,701 But without it, you'll die. 222 00:10:18,083 --> 00:10:20,441 - Fine by me. - What?! 223 00:10:20,568 --> 00:10:22,545 I want to die. 224 00:10:22,612 --> 00:10:23,951 Oh, typical! 225 00:10:24,036 --> 00:10:25,810 "I want to live, I want to die." 226 00:10:25,951 --> 00:10:28,552 Just make up your mind... They're both terrible. 227 00:10:28,763 --> 00:10:31,880 Oh, I've lived a full life. 228 00:10:32,138 --> 00:10:34,057 I saw a drawing of an ocean, 229 00:10:34,115 --> 00:10:37,536 I watched my daughter marry an ogre. 230 00:10:37,818 --> 00:10:39,763 I am not an ogre. 231 00:10:39,896 --> 00:10:41,978 My father married an ogre 232 00:10:42,036 --> 00:10:45,599 After my mother was eaten by a different ogre. 233 00:10:46,997 --> 00:10:48,104 You're my mom. 234 00:10:48,171 --> 00:10:51,005 I can't bear the thought of saying good-bye. 235 00:10:56,866 --> 00:10:59,200 You want me to live, I'll live. 236 00:11:05,341 --> 00:11:06,823 Let's celebrate! 237 00:11:06,890 --> 00:11:08,794 I'll roast a hobbit for dinner. 238 00:11:08,957 --> 00:11:10,294 Mmm... 239 00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:11,713 Bet you a packet 240 00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:14,646 of south farthing pipe weed she picks me, Gaffer. 241 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:15,765 Hush now, lad. 242 00:11:15,832 --> 00:11:18,747 The big folk will choose who's tastiest and no mistake. 243 00:11:18,919 --> 00:11:20,271 Ow! Ooh! 244 00:11:20,349 --> 00:11:23,069 Hey! How do you know you got them from me? 245 00:11:23,238 --> 00:11:24,599 We miss you! 246 00:11:24,677 --> 00:11:26,052 We miss you, too! 247 00:11:26,115 --> 00:11:27,130 Love you! 248 00:11:27,188 --> 00:11:28,583 Love you more! 249 00:11:30,855 --> 00:11:33,089 Ow, ow, ow! 250 00:11:33,222 --> 00:11:36,519 Hmm. Is it really so bad for grandma if she dies? 251 00:11:36,698 --> 00:11:39,167 Won't she spend eternity in the fields of bliss? 252 00:11:39,369 --> 00:11:40,424 Ow! 253 00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:43,292 Yeah. We're all going to the fields of bliss, ow! 254 00:11:43,417 --> 00:11:46,511 Where the days are passed in frolic most joyous. 255 00:11:46,620 --> 00:11:48,886 Just frolicking? That's it? 256 00:11:48,980 --> 00:11:51,394 Sometimes, you wave ribbons through the air. 257 00:11:51,519 --> 00:11:53,206 But mainly, frolicking. 258 00:11:53,323 --> 00:11:54,464 Doesn't that get old? 259 00:11:54,554 --> 00:11:56,091 Did I mention the ribbons? 260 00:11:56,214 --> 00:11:57,383 'cause there's ribbons. 261 00:11:57,441 --> 00:11:59,230 Fields of bliss? Nonsense. 262 00:11:59,346 --> 00:12:01,479 The afterlife is an eternity of slaughtering 263 00:12:01,581 --> 00:12:03,777 and being slaughtered by your enemies. 264 00:12:03,882 --> 00:12:04,984 Oh, yeah. 265 00:12:05,042 --> 00:12:06,890 You're both wrong. After death, 266 00:12:06,948 --> 00:12:09,902 you spend all day counting Goblin Jesus's money. 267 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,926 And it better all be there. 268 00:12:11,984 --> 00:12:13,479 71 mermaids. 269 00:12:13,537 --> 00:12:15,526 Some where the fish is the top part. 270 00:12:15,584 --> 00:12:16,600 Top. 271 00:12:16,658 --> 00:12:17,715 Mushrooms. 272 00:12:17,773 --> 00:12:19,308 Everywhere, mushrooms. 273 00:12:19,762 --> 00:12:21,636 Frolicking and ribbons! 274 00:12:21,722 --> 00:12:25,761 Yeah, but what if after we die, that's it? 275 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,441 We're just gone? 276 00:12:28,544 --> 00:12:29,945 So just poof? 277 00:12:30,003 --> 00:12:33,133 Really? Poof, and then just super nothing? 278 00:12:33,191 --> 00:12:34,195 Mm-mm? 279 00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,644 Well, it's clean. I'll give you that. 280 00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:43,853 Oh, yeah. 281 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,625 This is way better than death. 282 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:47,857 Come on, mom. 283 00:12:47,924 --> 00:12:50,714 There's so many things we can say to each other now. 284 00:12:50,808 --> 00:12:51,961 Oh, really? 285 00:12:52,028 --> 00:12:53,828 Okay, then, say them. 286 00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:55,117 I'm waiting. 287 00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:56,898 Oh. Um... 288 00:12:57,237 --> 00:12:58,656 Well... 289 00:12:58,714 --> 00:12:59,929 What about you guys? 290 00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:02,305 What do you want to ask your grandma? 291 00:13:02,666 --> 00:13:04,538 I got nothing. I'm gonna take a stroll 292 00:13:04,612 --> 00:13:06,250 and enjoy the golden age of cleavage. 293 00:13:06,308 --> 00:13:07,398 Lisa? 294 00:13:07,464 --> 00:13:09,687 Um... Uh... 295 00:13:09,746 --> 00:13:11,714 Oh! Well, grandma, 296 00:13:11,781 --> 00:13:14,650 tell us of your most ardent swain. 297 00:13:14,736 --> 00:13:17,072 I dated a shape-shifter once. 298 00:13:17,134 --> 00:13:19,220 I thought I could keep him from changing. 299 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:20,478 I was wrong. 300 00:13:20,587 --> 00:13:22,822 Love is a fairy tale! 301 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,697 Oh. Uh... 302 00:13:24,791 --> 00:13:28,634 Every moment with her is a precious gift. 303 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,485 Yes. Yes, it is. 304 00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:32,524 All that matters is that we're a family 305 00:13:32,582 --> 00:13:34,173 And we're together. 306 00:13:42,142 --> 00:13:43,854 Sorcerer-intendent chalmers. 307 00:13:43,913 --> 00:13:47,399 Your daughter has been detected using witchcraft. 308 00:13:47,501 --> 00:13:49,677 The gathering act, 309 00:13:49,735 --> 00:13:52,743 she is hereby property of the crown. 310 00:13:53,087 --> 00:13:55,691 What? My daughter isn't a magician. 311 00:13:55,758 --> 00:13:58,001 Oh, I'm terribly sorry, but she is. 312 00:13:58,118 --> 00:14:01,464 Yes, the moment that she transmuted lead into gold, 313 00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:03,368 our palantirs... They just went bananas. 314 00:14:03,462 --> 00:14:05,462 I've never seen palantirs go so bananas. 315 00:14:05,673 --> 00:14:07,004 It was the only way. 316 00:14:07,103 --> 00:14:09,985 I just didn't want you to be sad about grandma. 317 00:14:10,048 --> 00:14:12,954 Oh, no. This is all my fault. 318 00:14:13,024 --> 00:14:14,634 Don't blame yourself, honey. 319 00:14:14,727 --> 00:14:16,811 We're all at fault for doing whatever it takes 320 00:14:16,878 --> 00:14:18,546 to make you happy. 321 00:14:19,368 --> 00:14:20,503 Help! 322 00:14:20,571 --> 00:14:21,771 You can't nap my kid! 323 00:14:21,829 --> 00:14:22,885 That's kidnapping! 324 00:14:22,998 --> 00:14:25,125 Toenail imprisonum! 325 00:14:27,874 --> 00:14:28,992 D'oh! 326 00:14:29,054 --> 00:14:30,122 Lisa's magic? 327 00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:31,985 Maybe I'm magic, too! 328 00:14:32,193 --> 00:14:33,782 Abra-Carumba! 329 00:14:34,016 --> 00:14:36,188 Yeah, just grab a stick and say a funny word. 330 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,060 Yeah, that's not insulting to us at all. 331 00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:39,778 Please don't take my daughter. 332 00:14:39,836 --> 00:14:42,427 She was only trying to save her grandmother. 333 00:14:42,485 --> 00:14:44,235 She sounds like a wonderful kid. 334 00:14:44,344 --> 00:14:47,157 Now please say good-bye to her forever. 335 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,260 Take a peasant, leave a peasant. 336 00:14:55,648 --> 00:14:58,351 She's gone. Lisa's gone. 337 00:14:58,886 --> 00:15:02,119 Clip me out of here, Marge. I'm gonna rescue Lisa 338 00:15:02,246 --> 00:15:04,166 if I have to kill every noble in that castle. 339 00:15:04,224 --> 00:15:06,767 But dad, serfs can't rise up against nobles. 340 00:15:06,825 --> 00:15:08,775 You'd be attacking the system itself. 341 00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:11,088 And nobody loves feudalism more than you. 342 00:15:11,146 --> 00:15:14,205 Son, feudalism is a beautiful vision. 343 00:15:14,359 --> 00:15:15,664 The bill of no rights. 344 00:15:15,722 --> 00:15:17,859 One person, no vote. 345 00:15:17,963 --> 00:15:20,163 But I'm willing to betray all that 346 00:15:20,221 --> 00:15:22,100 to get my daughter back. 347 00:15:22,694 --> 00:15:24,448 Hey, you mind if I dissolve those? 348 00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:25,706 Uh, just checking. 349 00:15:25,773 --> 00:15:28,499 Better to ask. Better to ask. 350 00:15:29,467 --> 00:15:30,901 Peasants, peons, 351 00:15:30,959 --> 00:15:33,280 and distinguished beggars! 352 00:15:34,539 --> 00:15:38,670 Aren't you tired of the nobles taking the wheat we sow, 353 00:15:38,788 --> 00:15:40,290 the yarn we spin, 354 00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:42,282 and the wine we steal 355 00:15:42,368 --> 00:15:44,760 from travelers we murder on the road? 356 00:15:44,827 --> 00:15:46,540 They even take our children. 357 00:15:46,688 --> 00:15:48,751 And not just the worthless barts, 358 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:51,258 but the magical Lisas. 359 00:15:53,883 --> 00:15:57,005 If we can put a moon-spangled hat on a man, 360 00:15:57,072 --> 00:15:59,872 why can't we kill a bunch of rich jerks 361 00:15:59,930 --> 00:16:02,594 and take their stuff?! 362 00:16:16,712 --> 00:16:19,594 How are we going to get over these walls? 363 00:16:19,704 --> 00:16:20,863 Walls... 364 00:16:20,930 --> 00:16:22,719 Cannot stop us. 365 00:16:22,798 --> 00:16:25,657 The trees will fight with you. 366 00:16:25,774 --> 00:16:28,535 We will never forget your sacrifice. 367 00:16:28,665 --> 00:16:30,572 Sacrifice? 368 00:16:31,579 --> 00:16:33,469 We could have torn down 369 00:16:33,548 --> 00:16:36,954 the castle walls in five minutes. 370 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,380 Trees can't talk, silly. 371 00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:54,062 Mom! 372 00:16:54,129 --> 00:16:57,065 Dad! Help! 373 00:16:57,132 --> 00:16:59,366 Milhouses, save your girlfriend! 374 00:16:59,433 --> 00:17:03,008 - Lisa! Lisa! Lisa! - Okay, no, um... 375 00:17:03,066 --> 00:17:06,094 Uh, just a friend who is a girl. 376 00:17:06,231 --> 00:17:08,594 It's something to build on. 377 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,821 You peasants are a drag-on the economy. 378 00:17:15,913 --> 00:17:17,916 Oh! I get it. 379 00:17:18,108 --> 00:17:20,735 Because he's riding a dragon! 380 00:17:21,490 --> 00:17:22,579 Aah! 381 00:17:22,701 --> 00:17:26,169 My love for wordplay is undiminished! 382 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,298 Aah! 383 00:17:30,087 --> 00:17:32,415 Oh, no! We're losing. 384 00:17:33,555 --> 00:17:35,024 We need to talk. 385 00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:37,032 Now? Yes, now. 386 00:17:37,173 --> 00:17:39,469 It's time for me to... Go. 387 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,805 Life is about moving forward. 388 00:17:41,985 --> 00:17:45,071 Girls want to be women, women want to be mothers, 389 00:17:45,149 --> 00:17:47,114 mothers want to be grandmas, 390 00:17:47,188 --> 00:17:50,235 and grandmas want to know what comes next. 391 00:17:50,399 --> 00:17:52,141 But what if I'm not ready? 392 00:17:52,251 --> 00:17:55,689 I wouldn't leave you if I didn't know you'll be all right. 393 00:17:58,165 --> 00:18:00,829 Okay, mom. I understand. 394 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,512 Maybe I was born a peasant, 395 00:18:04,570 --> 00:18:06,772 but I'm going out an ice queen. 396 00:18:35,052 --> 00:18:36,752 Ouch. 397 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,883 Now we won! 398 00:18:42,821 --> 00:18:44,139 Oh! Mmm. 399 00:18:44,329 --> 00:18:47,240 My mom gave her life to save ours. 400 00:18:47,307 --> 00:18:49,144 Take comfort, Marge. 401 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,880 Now she's in the fields of bliss. 402 00:18:51,947 --> 00:18:54,383 No, she's in goblin money heaven. 403 00:18:54,441 --> 00:18:57,146 The afterlife is snakes chewing your eyes, 404 00:18:57,218 --> 00:18:58,654 but it feels good. 405 00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,320 This is our heaven! 406 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:01,990 Oh. 407 00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:05,429 Or, as long as grandma lives on in our hearts, 408 00:19:05,679 --> 00:19:07,691 then she's never truly gone. 409 00:19:07,749 --> 00:19:08,811 Until we die. 410 00:19:08,874 --> 00:19:10,263 Then it's like she never existed. 411 00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:13,671 And, someday, no one will remember you. 412 00:19:13,834 --> 00:19:15,819 Or anybody. 413 00:19:16,069 --> 00:19:18,996 All is well... The nobles are defeated, 414 00:19:19,054 --> 00:19:20,342 the dragon is dead, 415 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:21,871 And I've got a daughter 416 00:19:21,929 --> 00:19:23,877 who can turn lead into gold! 417 00:19:23,944 --> 00:19:27,390 Ooh. Um, actually, I can't anymore. 418 00:19:27,491 --> 00:19:30,171 Dragon fire is the source of all magic. 419 00:19:30,296 --> 00:19:31,975 And grandma killed the last one. 420 00:19:32,068 --> 00:19:35,124 Everything wondrous and extraordinary about our world 421 00:19:35,263 --> 00:19:36,632 Is going to fade. 422 00:19:38,138 --> 00:19:41,095 But maybe now we can use science to improve our world. 423 00:19:41,162 --> 00:19:42,698 With new technologies, 424 00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:45,601 we can put an end to poverty and disease. 425 00:19:45,668 --> 00:19:47,102 Sure, it'll be hard work, 426 00:19:47,169 --> 00:19:49,647 but far more rewarding than waving your hand 427 00:19:49,705 --> 00:19:51,960 over a rock to change it into gold. 428 00:19:52,018 --> 00:19:53,097 I mean... 429 00:19:53,155 --> 00:19:55,233 Please come back, magic! 430 00:19:56,832 --> 00:19:58,798 Live, damn you, live. 431 00:20:02,733 --> 00:20:05,053 I am risen! 432 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,647 But what about science? 433 00:20:06,765 --> 00:20:08,503 Oh, sweetie, who would 434 00:20:08,561 --> 00:20:10,819 want to live in a world without magic? 435 00:20:10,897 --> 00:20:12,116 It would be so boring. 436 00:20:12,174 --> 00:20:14,983 People would have to make up fantasy stories... 437 00:20:15,097 --> 00:20:17,292 Most of them poorly- written pretenses 438 00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:19,399 for explicit sex and violence. 439 00:20:19,466 --> 00:20:22,436 Just to escape the tedious real world. 440 00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:24,806 Oh. That does sound awful. 441 00:20:24,873 --> 00:20:27,339 Look! The dragon is burning our village. 442 00:20:28,399 --> 00:20:30,313 I love our life. 443 00:20:30,581 --> 00:20:34,133 ?? 444 00:20:34,437 --> 00:20:37,813 ?? Synchronized by srjanapala