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It seems today that all you see

2
00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:08,178
Is violence in movies and sex on TV

3
00:00:08,179 --> 00:00:11,863
But where are those
good old-fashioned values

4
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On which we used to rely?

5
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Lucky there's a family guy

6
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Lucky there's a man
who positively can do

7
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All the things that make us

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Laugh and cry

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He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy!

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Family Guy is filmed
before a live studio audience.

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That's Carol,

12
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Lois' sister who was married
to Mayor West,

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- but now he's dead.
- I love you, Carol!

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We're glad you could come over
for dinner tonight, Carol.

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Thank you for having me.

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I've been having such a hard
time since Adam passed away.

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Aw...

18
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I want to squeeze your butt
and then take your pants down

19
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and look at your butt!

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We still can't believe he's gone.

21
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He was such a great mayor,
and a great uncle to the kids.

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Wait, Uncle Adam is dead?

23
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Yeesh. How many people
has this show killed?

24
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- Yeah, we're all gonna miss...
- Hey, don't touch me, man!

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I'm leaving. I know-I know
what I did. I'm leaving.

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Yeah, we're all gonna miss Mayor West.

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You know what'll make you
feel better, Aunt Carol?

28
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Doing an Indian guy.

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Meg, stop eating with the serving spoon.

30
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Nah.

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I just wish there was
some way we could honor

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Adam's memory here in town.

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You know what we should do?

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We should rename the high school
for Mayor West.

35
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What, you mean change it
from James Woods High?

36
00:01:31,105 --> 00:01:33,907
Yeah. James Woods
is an embarrassment to Quahog.

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He's a political troll
and a maniac on Twitter.

38
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I think that's a great idea, Brian.

39
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You should meet with Principal Shepherd

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and suggest it.

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Awesome. And while you do that,

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I'll make a special video
dedication reminding people

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of how great Mayor West was.

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Oceans apart

45
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Day after day

46
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And I slowly go insane

47
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I hear your voice

48
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On the line

49
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But it doesn't stop

50
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The pain

51
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If I see you

52
00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:15,282
Next to never

53
00:02:16,417 --> 00:02:18,185
How can we

54
00:02:18,186 --> 00:02:21,755
Say forever

55
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Wherever you go

56
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Whatever you do

57
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I will be

58
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Right here waiting for you...

59
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So, you'd like to rename the school?

60
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Yes. To Adam West High.

61
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Well, you're a talking dog... you
probably know what you're doing.

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Let's do it.

63
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Damn it!

64
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The only thing that's left to do now

65
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is for you to pay the normal
$1,000 principal meeting fee.

66
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What?! Wait a minute.

67
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Do you have a gambling problem?

68
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Me? I don't have a gambling problem.

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Points! Just score points!

70
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I don't care who.

71
00:03:01,929 --> 00:03:04,231
Principal Shepherd,
someone named Eddie Payups

72
00:03:04,232 --> 00:03:05,799
is here to see you.

73
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Tell him I need one minute.

74
00:03:07,135 --> 00:03:08,969
Anyway, great idea.
We'll have a ceremony

75
00:03:08,970 --> 00:03:11,004
to change the name
of the school this week.

76
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What's the score of that game right now?

77
00:03:13,141 --> 00:03:15,509
It's, uh, 85-75.

78
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Ugh! Not enough.

79
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Wow, we did it.

80
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We changed the name of the school.

81
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Well, you know, it was
the right thing to do, Brian.

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00:03:22,884 --> 00:03:26,119
Like when I had to give bad news
to that improv team.

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I called you here to tell you
that you're all 45 years old.

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Go home and be with your children.

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00:03:36,731 --> 00:03:38,331
Thank you, everybody, for coming today

86
00:03:38,332 --> 00:03:40,634
as we honor one
of Quahog's finest citizens,

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00:03:40,635 --> 00:03:42,369
Mayor Adam West.

88
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We will start today's ceremony

89
00:03:43,671 --> 00:03:46,173
with the traditional
21-cat launcher salute

90
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to honor our wacky but beloved mayor.

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Ready! Aim!

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Meow!

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Beautiful. Now, to unveil our new sign,

94
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we've invited HGTV's
Chip and Joanna Gaines,

95
00:03:58,519 --> 00:04:01,555
who are here to prove that their
show didn't ruin their marriage.

96
00:04:01,556 --> 00:04:04,925
All right, Quahog,
are you ready to see your new sign?

97
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Yeah!

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Oh, a-are we going that way?

99
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I don't know, Joanna.
What direction are we going?

100
00:04:12,366 --> 00:04:14,334
?

101
00:04:20,341 --> 00:04:21,408
Uh-oh.

102
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Thank you. Uh, please, uh, stick around

103
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for refreshments and snacks
in the gymnasium.

104
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Go, go, Principal Coffee Breath!

105
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Looking for someone?

106
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I like this episode.

107
00:04:49,604 --> 00:04:52,472
?

108
00:04:52,473 --> 00:04:54,508
- Brian, wait.
- Oh, hey, Carol.

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Do you need me to walk you to your car

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00:04:57,044 --> 00:04:59,079
in case the studio audience guy
shows up?

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00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,715
No, he killed himself
in my downstairs shower.

112
00:05:01,716 --> 00:05:03,583
Oh, good. That's good.

113
00:05:03,584 --> 00:05:06,753
I just wanted to thank you
for what you did today for Adam.

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He was a great man.

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You know, I see a lot of him in you.

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Oh, no. Are we gonna kiss?

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- We're gonna kiss, aren't we?
- I came here to say

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that what you did was very honorable.

119
00:05:16,831 --> 00:05:18,331
It showed real leadership,

120
00:05:18,332 --> 00:05:21,201
and I think you should be
the next mayor of Quahog.

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Ah, damn it!

122
00:05:22,603 --> 00:05:23,770
Oh, I couldn't do that.

123
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I don't know anything about politics.

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Although crazier things have happened.

125
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Harry Truman didn't have any experience.

126
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Of course he did. He was vice president,

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and before that,
a United States senator.

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00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:35,949
Oh, word?

129
00:05:37,084 --> 00:05:39,786
Brian, is this gonna be
a politics episode?

130
00:05:39,787 --> 00:05:41,554
I-I think it might be.

131
00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:51,806
No one likes those.

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So, Carol was just going on and
on about how I should be mayor.

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And it's got me thinking,
it is an interesting idea.

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- You think I should do it?
- Absolutely not.

135
00:06:04,078 --> 00:06:06,079
- I mean, if not me, who?
- Anyone.

136
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,681
- If not now, when?
- Never.

137
00:06:07,682 --> 00:06:09,783
- You know, why not me?
- A million reasons.

138
00:06:09,784 --> 00:06:11,178
I mean, who do you want in there,

139
00:06:11,179 --> 00:06:12,788
- some career politician?
- Yes.

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00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,599
- What are they gonna do?
- Govern.

141
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,122
Thanks, Stewie.
Your support means a lot.

142
00:06:16,123 --> 00:06:18,758
- You don't have it.
- You know what? I'm gonna do it.

143
00:06:18,759 --> 00:06:20,760
Guys, I have an announcement.

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00:06:20,761 --> 00:06:24,097
- I'm gonna run for mayor.
- That's a terrible idea.

145
00:06:24,098 --> 00:06:26,666
You idiot, Brian. Meg, fart on Brian.

146
00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:29,102
I can't.
I don't have one in the chamber.

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00:06:29,103 --> 00:06:31,938
The one time I give you
a chance, you're not ready.

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00:06:31,939 --> 00:06:33,907
Chris, tag him for Meg.

149
00:06:36,544 --> 00:06:38,011
See that kid? He's a gamer.

150
00:06:38,012 --> 00:06:40,680
Great job, Chris.
Now, go hit the showers.

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00:06:40,681 --> 00:06:43,416
Meg, you miss 100%
of the farts you don't take.

152
00:06:43,417 --> 00:06:46,186
That kid's going places.
He's going all the way.

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00:06:49,890 --> 00:06:52,058
If only they knew.

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That's my boy!

155
00:07:08,290 --> 00:07:10,344
Welcome back, Quahog. And now it's time

156
00:07:10,345 --> 00:07:13,581
for a new segment on our show
called "On the Same Sofa,"

157
00:07:13,582 --> 00:07:15,916
in which a guest and I
have a conversation

158
00:07:15,917 --> 00:07:17,718
while sitting on the same sofa.

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00:07:17,719 --> 00:07:20,588
My guest tonight is mayoral
candidate Brian Griffin.

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00:07:20,589 --> 00:07:22,923
- Thank you for coming, Brian.
- Pleasure, Tom.

161
00:07:22,924 --> 00:07:25,259
And thank you for allowing me
up on the furniture.

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- I don't always get to do that.
- Oh, word?

163
00:07:27,762 --> 00:07:30,196
Now, I understand
you're running unopposed.

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That gives you a bit
of an advantage, doesn't it?

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00:07:32,666 --> 00:07:34,901
Well, Tom, I welcome a challenger.

166
00:07:34,902 --> 00:07:37,504
Not the one that exploded, but, um...

167
00:07:37,505 --> 00:07:40,140
That's probably gonna get me
in trouble right there.

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00:07:40,141 --> 00:07:41,801
Good thing I'm running unopposed.

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00:07:41,802 --> 00:07:44,344
Well, we've now reached
the middle of the interview,

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00:07:44,345 --> 00:07:46,813
where I ask the guest,
"How's the sofa so far?"

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00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:48,675
So, Brian, how's the sofa so far?

172
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,250
So far, so-so.

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00:07:50,251 --> 00:07:51,518
I see. Sophie?

174
00:07:51,519 --> 00:07:53,106
So far we've got a so-so sofa.

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00:07:53,107 --> 00:07:55,855
Great. Okay, Tom, we go live in three,

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00:07:55,856 --> 00:07:58,244
- two...
- What? None of that aired?

177
00:07:58,245 --> 00:07:59,893
It's all right, we can recreate it.

178
00:07:59,894 --> 00:08:01,227
And you're on.

179
00:08:01,228 --> 00:08:03,897
So, Brian, I understand
you like eating your own poop.

180
00:08:03,898 --> 00:08:05,261
What's that about?

181
00:08:05,262 --> 00:08:06,596
Argh. Turn that off.

182
00:08:06,597 --> 00:08:08,664
I can't believe we're
gonna have a dog for mayor.

183
00:08:08,665 --> 00:08:10,833
We're gonna be the laughingstock
of the whole country.

184
00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:12,702
Even Sean Hannity's talking about us.

185
00:08:12,703 --> 00:08:14,237
He's a weird-looking guy.

186
00:08:14,238 --> 00:08:16,839
- Put up a picture of Sean Hannity.
- Can we do that?

187
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,242
Yeah, Tosh does it
all the time. Put it up.

188
00:08:19,243 --> 00:08:20,576
Yeah, he does look weird.

189
00:08:20,577 --> 00:08:22,178
Yeah. Who does he look like?

190
00:08:22,179 --> 00:08:24,013
I'm seeing Mr. Doubtfire.

191
00:08:24,014 --> 00:08:25,715
High-sodium Superman?

192
00:08:25,716 --> 00:08:28,460
He looks like an angry
face drawn on a thumb.

193
00:08:28,461 --> 00:08:30,062
The richest guy at Rite Aid?

194
00:08:30,063 --> 00:08:31,830
Or the mayor who won't close

195
00:08:31,831 --> 00:08:33,298
the beaches in Jaws.

196
00:08:33,299 --> 00:08:35,067
Wreck-It Ralph at a job interview.

197
00:08:35,068 --> 00:08:36,435
You know that's a guy

198
00:08:36,436 --> 00:08:38,937
who's roughly led his wife
out of parties by the elbow.

199
00:08:38,938 --> 00:08:41,306
A guy whose ice cream
parlor just went broke.

200
00:08:41,307 --> 00:08:43,008
He looks like a handsome Weeble.

201
00:08:43,009 --> 00:08:44,643
Or a hot Frankenstein.

202
00:08:44,644 --> 00:08:46,778
Yeah, but either way,
he's that Little League coach

203
00:08:46,779 --> 00:08:48,580
the parents hope their kids don't get.

204
00:08:48,581 --> 00:08:51,416
He looks like a fish that
inflates to scare predators.

205
00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:53,418
The inside trader who kills himself

206
00:08:53,419 --> 00:08:55,754
the day his prison
sentence is supposed to start.

207
00:08:55,755 --> 00:08:57,856
I'm thinking Fred and Barney's son.

208
00:08:57,857 --> 00:09:00,225
Trust me on this.
Strip club lunch regular.

209
00:09:00,226 --> 00:09:01,793
I feel like that's a dad

210
00:09:01,794 --> 00:09:03,662
who's ripped his kid's posters
off the wall.

211
00:09:03,663 --> 00:09:06,131
And sleeps in
pajamas buttoned to the top.

212
00:09:06,132 --> 00:09:08,600
72-ounce steak contest entrant.

213
00:09:08,601 --> 00:09:11,570
Drowned-in-the-lake-
last-month Colin Farrell.

214
00:09:11,571 --> 00:09:12,771
All right, that was fun.

215
00:09:12,772 --> 00:09:15,007
Hey, let's do Matthew Perry. I'll start.

216
00:09:15,008 --> 00:09:16,375
He looks like a pelican

217
00:09:16,376 --> 00:09:18,377
trying to swallow a fish that's too big.

218
00:09:18,378 --> 00:09:20,379
Barn owl in human skin.

219
00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:22,381
He looks like he told a genie

220
00:09:22,382 --> 00:09:25,150
- he wished to be a pool noodle.
- Hey, guys?

221
00:09:25,151 --> 00:09:28,449
Friends brings me a lot of joy,
so can we stop this?

222
00:09:39,465 --> 00:09:40,999
Hail to the dog

223
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,502
Every tree in town is mine now

224
00:09:43,503 --> 00:09:45,337
Open the window

225
00:09:45,338 --> 00:09:47,172
I'm gonna bite the air.

226
00:10:03,456 --> 00:10:05,057
What's this?

227
00:10:05,058 --> 00:10:07,693
Well, looks like stolen property
and vandalism, for starters.

228
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:10,262
Uh, can you hang on?
I'm finishing a phone interview.

229
00:10:10,263 --> 00:10:12,097
And that's why I would never joke

230
00:10:12,098 --> 00:10:14,166
about the Space Shuttle
Challenger tragedy.

231
00:10:14,167 --> 00:10:16,134
I can't believe I said that twice.

232
00:10:16,135 --> 00:10:17,669
Now, how can I help you, Brian?

233
00:10:17,670 --> 00:10:20,038
Why are you doing this?
Why are you running for mayor?

234
00:10:20,039 --> 00:10:22,162
Uh, let me think.
Oh, yeah. Out of spite.

235
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,485
Spite for you.

236
00:10:23,486 --> 00:10:25,210
That's not a reason
to get into politics.

237
00:10:25,211 --> 00:10:27,579
It's the only reason
to get into politics.

238
00:10:27,580 --> 00:10:29,982
Well, you're just wasting your time,
because you're not gonna win.

239
00:10:29,983 --> 00:10:31,149
I don't know about that.

240
00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:32,551
You seem pretty afraid.

241
00:10:32,552 --> 00:10:34,252
The only thing I'm afraid of

242
00:10:34,253 --> 00:10:36,622
are fire truck sirens
and things that look like faces.

243
00:10:36,623 --> 00:10:38,268
Fine. See you at the debate.

244
00:10:38,269 --> 00:10:40,058
Fine!

245
00:10:40,059 --> 00:10:41,727
- What are you gonna wear?
- I don't know.

246
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:44,129
I was thinking, like, a
collared shirt, jacket, no tie.

247
00:10:44,130 --> 00:10:46,932
- Yeah, yeah, no tie.
- Yeah, definitely no tie.

248
00:10:49,769 --> 00:10:51,937
That son of a bitch.

249
00:10:51,938 --> 00:10:53,805
Good evening.
I'm Tom Tucker, and I will be

250
00:10:53,806 --> 00:10:55,440
your moderator
for tonight's mayoral debate.

251
00:10:55,441 --> 00:10:57,843
Not because I want to,
but because it counts

252
00:10:57,844 --> 00:10:59,945
as community service
for open-hand smacking

253
00:10:59,946 --> 00:11:01,346
an Uber Eats guy.

254
00:11:01,347 --> 00:11:02,881
Let's meet our candidates.

255
00:11:02,882 --> 00:11:05,569
First, the impeccably-dressed
Glenn Quagmire.

256
00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:07,828
- Thank you, Tom.
- Is that a Windsor knot?

257
00:11:07,829 --> 00:11:09,106
Double Windsor, Tom.

258
00:11:09,107 --> 00:11:10,756
Excellent. Some might describe

259
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:12,924
that tie as "mayoral."

260
00:11:12,925 --> 00:11:15,661
Next up, we have
super-caj Brian Griffin.

261
00:11:15,662 --> 00:11:17,897
I was gonna wear a tie.
He told me not to.

262
00:11:17,898 --> 00:11:20,299
He's already losing,
and it hasn't started yet.

263
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:22,501
First question: as candidates for mayor,

264
00:11:22,502 --> 00:11:24,704
how do I put my apps into a folder?

265
00:11:24,705 --> 00:11:26,172
I know how to get them shaky,

266
00:11:26,173 --> 00:11:27,873
I just can't get them in a folder.

267
00:11:27,874 --> 00:11:29,208
You just drag them into each other.

268
00:11:29,209 --> 00:11:30,610
But you know what else is shaky?

269
00:11:30,611 --> 00:11:32,511
My opponent's economic plan.

270
00:11:32,512 --> 00:11:35,314
It's irresponsible for the town
to get two credit cards

271
00:11:35,315 --> 00:11:37,750
and just swap the balance
back and forth each month.

272
00:11:37,751 --> 00:11:40,119
But-but the town would get miles.

273
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,890
Whoa, so I can just name
the folder whatever I want?

274
00:11:42,891 --> 00:11:44,885
"Tom's Stuff."

275
00:11:44,886 --> 00:11:47,827
Okay, Tom, we go live in three, two...

276
00:11:47,828 --> 00:11:51,163
Good evening, Quahog, and
welcome to your mayoral debate.

277
00:11:51,164 --> 00:11:54,133
What the... None of that aired?
I was totally winning.

278
00:11:54,134 --> 00:11:55,401
That's okay, we'll recreate it.

279
00:11:55,402 --> 00:11:58,137
Now, Mr. Quagmire,
you're a dirty sex fiend.

280
00:11:58,138 --> 00:12:01,107
Why would you wear a tie
to a casual debate?

281
00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:02,375
Good question, Tom.

282
00:12:02,376 --> 00:12:05,911
And I'll answer that
with one word: pizza!

283
00:12:07,748 --> 00:12:09,715
Damn it, he burned me twice.

284
00:12:09,716 --> 00:12:12,118
And, you're not gonna, like,
bring pizza for everyone, right?

285
00:12:12,119 --> 00:12:13,953
No, it's a debate.
They'll have food there.

286
00:12:13,954 --> 00:12:16,255
Right, they' have food there.
Okay, so, no tie, no pizza.

287
00:12:16,256 --> 00:12:18,324
I'll see you there.

288
00:12:21,028 --> 00:12:22,962
Open the door, Quagmire.

289
00:12:22,963 --> 00:12:26,280
Hey, Brian. I was just
emptying my bus garbage.

290
00:12:26,281 --> 00:12:27,667
Would you like to eat it first?

291
00:12:27,668 --> 00:12:29,535
What's the catch?

292
00:12:29,536 --> 00:12:31,297
God, you're a dumb beast.

293
00:12:31,298 --> 00:12:32,872
Come on in.

294
00:12:40,947 --> 00:12:44,216
- Have a seat, Brian.
- I'm fine standing, thank you.

295
00:12:44,217 --> 00:12:46,319
Let's cut the crap. The only
reason you're running is...

296
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,654
to make me look ridiculous.

297
00:12:48,655 --> 00:12:50,189
And I am not just some idiot

298
00:12:50,190 --> 00:12:52,925
to be laughed at
and not taken seriously.

299
00:12:52,926 --> 00:12:54,860
Ha! Sit down, Snoopy.

300
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:57,163
What did you say?

301
00:12:57,164 --> 00:13:01,901
I said, "Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog."

302
00:13:01,902 --> 00:13:03,636
You son of a bitch!

303
00:13:05,906 --> 00:13:09,075
You idiot! He's allergic
to getting hit in the head!

304
00:13:09,076 --> 00:13:10,943
?

305
00:13:27,527 --> 00:13:29,528
?

306
00:13:41,691 --> 00:13:43,358
Oh, my God, we're gonna die!

307
00:13:43,359 --> 00:13:45,594
Calm down, Brian. This bus has OnStar.

308
00:13:45,595 --> 00:13:47,596
OnStar roadside assistance.

309
00:13:47,597 --> 00:13:50,099
Yes, our bus went over a cliff.
We need help.

310
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:51,467
Glenn?

311
00:13:51,468 --> 00:13:53,836
I-Is this Glenn Quagmire?

312
00:13:53,837 --> 00:13:55,504
Yes, sweetheart. Hi, who's this?

313
00:13:55,505 --> 00:13:58,956
It's Melissa. From the Ramada Inn.

314
00:13:58,957 --> 00:14:00,008
Oh.

315
00:14:00,009 --> 00:14:03,378
The Framingham Ramada Inn
or the Cranston Ramada Inn?

316
00:14:03,379 --> 00:14:04,913
Cranston.

317
00:14:04,914 --> 00:14:06,448
Oh, yeah, we're gonna die.

318
00:14:14,971 --> 00:14:17,139
I think my leg is broken.

319
00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:20,008
Oh, my God, how are we gonna
get down from here?

320
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:23,145
- You think he's dead?
- I don't know.

321
00:14:23,146 --> 00:14:25,301
Hey. Hey, buddy?

322
00:14:26,482 --> 00:14:29,618
- What's his name?
- Uh, it's something Spanishy.

323
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,620
I-I think it starts with a "G"?

324
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:34,356
G-Gerr, G-Ga, Goo...

325
00:14:34,357 --> 00:14:37,592
Goo, Goo-gar... Goo-gardo.
G... Yeah, that's it, Googardo.

326
00:14:37,593 --> 00:14:38,994
That doesn't sound like any name.

327
00:14:38,995 --> 00:14:40,629
Well, sure it does. Googardo?

328
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,464
Say something if you're okay, Googardo.

329
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,966
The more you say it, the more
it doesn't sound like anything.

330
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:48,417
Googardo? Move something
if you're alive, Googardo.

331
00:14:55,511 --> 00:14:58,380
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, look, there's his jacket.

332
00:14:58,381 --> 00:15:00,215
Oh, yeah, his name was Frank.

333
00:15:00,216 --> 00:15:03,585
I can't believe this. I'm gonna
die with Glenn Quagmire.

334
00:15:03,586 --> 00:15:06,454
Hey, dying with Glenn Quagmire
was good enough for Googardo.

335
00:15:06,455 --> 00:15:08,623
Vaya con Dios, Googy.

336
00:15:08,624 --> 00:15:10,292
Please don't use the familiar form

337
00:15:10,293 --> 00:15:12,561
of a guy's name you never knew.

338
00:15:16,732 --> 00:15:19,034
What was I thinking getting
on this bus with you?

339
00:15:19,035 --> 00:15:22,304
It was dumber than when Peter
hired that raccoon accountant.

340
00:15:22,305 --> 00:15:23,939
All right, well, you're the money guy.

341
00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:27,482
Let's put it all in
to slightly-open trash cans.

342
00:15:35,551 --> 00:15:37,219
You have anything to eat in here?

343
00:15:37,220 --> 00:15:38,553
Yeah, there's some edible underwear

344
00:15:38,554 --> 00:15:39,721
in that bag over there.

345
00:15:39,722 --> 00:15:41,256
Ugh, isn't there anything else?

346
00:15:41,257 --> 00:15:43,892
I have a ball of peanut butter
with a pill inside.

347
00:15:43,893 --> 00:15:46,676
Hmm, wish you hadn't told me
about the pill.

348
00:15:55,170 --> 00:15:57,568
You know, this underwear's not bad.

349
00:15:57,569 --> 00:15:59,541
Are they for your political groupies?

350
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:00,875
No, these-these are men's.

351
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,344
They're-they're mine.

352
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,682
Quagmire, why did you
even want to be mayor?

353
00:16:07,683 --> 00:16:10,619
Honestly? I just want
a street named after me.

354
00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:12,187
I think that's kind of cool.

355
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:14,055
Actually, that is kind of cool.

356
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,557
Why did you want to be mayor?

357
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:19,461
Mayor West told me he went
to 65 pancake breakfasts a year.

358
00:16:19,462 --> 00:16:22,467
That number... That-that stuck with mat

359
00:16:22,468 --> 00:16:24,799
What, like, the...
like, the pancakes were free?

360
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,269
- Yeah.
- 65.

361
00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:29,537
That-That's, like, pancakes
every Saturday morning

362
00:16:29,538 --> 00:16:30,872
and probably some Sundays.

363
00:16:30,873 --> 00:16:33,108
And sometimes it's, like,
kids making the pancakes,

364
00:16:33,109 --> 00:16:34,876
and-and you get these mondo huge ones.

365
00:16:34,877 --> 00:16:36,578
Wow.

366
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:38,747
Probably no
chocolate chip pancakes, though.

367
00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:41,082
Are you kidding me?
65 a year, you're gonna get

368
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,418
at least eight to ten
chocolate chip pancake events.

369
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,186
- You think eight to ten?
- Yes.

370
00:16:45,187 --> 00:16:47,889
And now that I say it out loud,
eight to ten sounds low.

371
00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:50,392
So, pancakes is why
you wanted to be mayor?

372
00:16:50,393 --> 00:16:53,762
Well, pancakes and...
look at the people in our town.

373
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,730
- Who else is gonna do it?
- I know.

374
00:16:55,731 --> 00:16:57,666
This is such a garbage town.

375
00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:59,701
You know, when you think about it,

376
00:16:59,702 --> 00:17:02,103
we're really
the only two viable candidates.

377
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,538
I mean, you're a pilot.

378
00:17:03,539 --> 00:17:05,473
You're responsible for people's lives.

379
00:17:05,474 --> 00:17:06,808
You make quick decisions.

380
00:17:06,809 --> 00:17:09,577
Or the machinery in the plane
makes quick decisions.

381
00:17:09,578 --> 00:17:11,513
M-My point is, you're a smart guy.

382
00:17:11,514 --> 00:17:13,515
Thank you.

383
00:17:13,516 --> 00:17:16,284
And now you say something nice about me.

384
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:19,187
- Like what?
- Like I'm good company,

385
00:17:19,188 --> 00:17:20,555
and I'm smart and funny,

386
00:17:20,556 --> 00:17:22,624
and I'm invited
to all your pool parties.

387
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:25,794
And I should just come over
if I hear one of them going on.

388
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,162
No, thank you.

389
00:17:27,163 --> 00:17:28,797
But... but you have to.

390
00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,432
I'm not gonna say something I don't mean

391
00:17:30,433 --> 00:17:32,167
just because your ego needs to hear it.

392
00:17:32,168 --> 00:17:34,502
See? That's why I ran against you.

393
00:17:34,503 --> 00:17:36,871
Because I know that's the only
reason you were doing this.

394
00:17:36,872 --> 00:17:38,773
You're a complete tool!

395
00:17:38,774 --> 00:17:40,442
You do sound like kind of a tool.

396
00:17:40,443 --> 00:17:43,345
See? Even Melissa from OnStar
thinks you're a tool.

397
00:17:43,346 --> 00:17:45,080
You've been listening this whole time?

398
00:17:45,081 --> 00:17:47,182
There's nothing to do at OnStar.

399
00:17:47,183 --> 00:17:48,550
People have iPhones now.

400
00:17:48,551 --> 00:17:51,453
I just listen in to cars.
Sometimes there's sex.

401
00:17:51,454 --> 00:17:53,922
Screw this. We just got
to get out of this bus.

402
00:17:53,923 --> 00:17:56,024
Regardless of what we think
of each other,

403
00:17:56,025 --> 00:17:57,792
this is no way for us to die.

404
00:17:57,793 --> 00:17:59,494
I'm gonna try and climb up to the street

405
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,663
- and see if I can get help.
- Just be careful.

406
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,598
I don't know how stable this thing is.

407
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,642
Oh, my God.
You just got hit in the throat

408
00:18:14,643 --> 00:18:16,010
with a gentleman's dildo.

409
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:18,046
- Hey, Melissa.
- What? What happened?

410
00:18:18,047 --> 00:18:20,849
He got hit in the throat
with a gentleman's dildo.

411
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:23,017
See,

412
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,886
this is why I listen.

413
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,923
?

414
00:18:56,919 --> 00:18:59,587
?

415
00:18:59,588 --> 00:19:01,189
Mayor West?

416
00:19:19,041 --> 00:19:20,642
Hey, guys. Don't mind me.

417
00:19:20,643 --> 00:19:23,344
I'm gonna go steal
that bus driver's identity.

418
00:19:23,345 --> 00:19:26,081
The Celtics are free money tonight!

419
00:19:32,022 --> 00:19:34,757
Well, Lois, you almost had
a female president.

420
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,259
I almost had a dog mayor.

421
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:38,161
I can't believe
they canceled the election

422
00:19:38,162 --> 00:19:40,863
after they thought Brian
and Mr. Quagmire were dead.

423
00:19:40,864 --> 00:19:43,199
Does that mean we still need a mayor?

424
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,801
It sure does, America.

425
00:19:44,802 --> 00:19:47,370
Who do you think should be
the next mayor of Quahog.

426
00:19:47,371 --> 00:19:50,540
Register your votes
at fox.com/family-guy.

427
00:19:50,541 --> 00:19:52,208
Your votes don't count. It's a trick.

428
00:19:52,209 --> 00:19:55,411
- They're just tracking your data.
- No, it's not. No, it's not.

429
00:19:55,412 --> 00:19:58,047
Is Mr. Quagmire okay after the accident?

430
00:19:58,048 --> 00:20:01,551
Yeah, he's fine. He's having one
of his private pool parties.

431
00:20:04,688 --> 00:20:06,289
Hey, girls. Thanks for coming.

432
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:08,858
Is your voice still broken
from the accident?

433
00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:10,526
No, no, I-I'm just trying to be quiet.

434
00:20:10,527 --> 00:20:11,894
Grab yourself a drink.

435
00:20:11,895 --> 00:20:13,696
I'm gonna have some chips first.

436
00:20:13,697 --> 00:20:15,031
No, no, no!

437
00:20:15,032 --> 00:20:18,067
Is that a pool party I hear?

438
00:20:19,103 --> 00:20:21,270
Cannonball!

439
00:20:21,271 --> 00:20:23,840
And that was the moment I remembered...

440
00:20:23,841 --> 00:20:25,875
Quagmire doesn't have a swimming pool.

441
00:20:33,584 --> 00:20:35,451
I want to be a mayor

442
00:20:35,452 --> 00:20:37,120
in real life.

443
00:20:37,121 --> 00:20:38,921
So I'm here to ask you

444
00:20:38,922 --> 00:20:41,157
to make me the mayor of your town.

445
00:20:41,158 --> 00:20:43,159
Vote for me, Adam West.

446
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,729
It'll be a home run.

447
00:20:46,730 --> 00:20:48,731
Ugh.

448
00:20:52,069 --> 00:20:54,570
It'll be a home run.

449
00:20:55,572 --> 00:20:57,607
Pow!

450
00:21:00,936 --> 00:21:04,936
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