1
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Previously on The Last Man on Earth...

2
00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:04,897
- It's a nuclear meltdown.
- Let's get the hell out of here!

3
00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:05,968
Why don't we just move somewhere

4
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,139
where there are no nuclear plants?

5
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,807
Then I guess we're going to Mexico.

6
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,409
So are we going to have some sort

7
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,344
of plan if we do see Pat?

8
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:15,602
There is no way that
Pat could ever find us.

9
00:00:23,245 --> 00:00:24,878
Hi.

10
00:00:25,172 --> 00:00:26,525
I'm Pamela.

11
00:00:28,321 --> 00:00:29,671
Sorry. Not a great first impression.

12
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,196
I promise I'm nice.

13
00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:32,998
Um, I-I hope you don't mind.

14
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:37,474
I-I brought my dear friend,
uh, Rear Admiral Roy Billups.

15
00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:41,066
She's a nice ship. I can't
wait to take her out for a...

16
00:00:41,091 --> 00:00:42,074
Aah!

17
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,544
Pat's still alive! Pat's still alive!

18
00:00:52,660 --> 00:00:54,293
Uh.

19
00:00:57,608 --> 00:00:59,341
Is he dead now?

20
00:01:00,057 --> 00:01:02,794
I have a pretty surefire test.

21
00:01:04,954 --> 00:01:06,420
Call it.

22
00:01:06,445 --> 00:01:09,580
Time of death... 3:18.

23
00:01:12,954 --> 00:01:15,821
Another 3:18 over here.

24
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:20,712
So, anyway, that was Roy.

25
00:01:21,138 --> 00:01:23,415
And again, Pamela.

26
00:01:23,549 --> 00:01:25,449
And, oh, this is Jeremy.

27
00:01:25,474 --> 00:01:28,409
Come here, Jeremy. Come here.

28
00:01:28,737 --> 00:01:29,855
Oh!

29
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,124
- Aw.
- Aw.

30
00:01:31,149 --> 00:01:32,415
Yes.

31
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,493
There's my boy.

32
00:01:37,948 --> 00:01:41,433
? Forever young ?

33
00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:43,435
? I want to be ?

34
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,204
? Forever young ?

35
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:54,900
? Do you really want to
live forever... young? ?

36
00:01:58,873 --> 00:02:00,239
That was very nice.

37
00:02:00,559 --> 00:02:02,330
- Thank you.
- Please have a seat

38
00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:04,155
- while the ceremony begins.
- Sure.

39
00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:09,127
Rear Admiral.

40
00:02:09,358 --> 00:02:10,757
What can I say?

41
00:02:11,246 --> 00:02:13,598
You died doing what you loved...

42
00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:16,735
being alive.

43
00:02:17,408 --> 00:02:19,471
What else? Um...

44
00:02:21,134 --> 00:02:22,719
Not really sure why I'm doing the speech

45
00:02:22,744 --> 00:02:23,821
on this one, to be honest.

46
00:02:23,846 --> 00:02:24,643
Uh, Pamela?

47
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:26,044
- Hmm? No.
- No?

48
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,445
- No.
- Okay then.

49
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:28,980
Uh, Todd, little help, bud?

50
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:30,806
Yeah, sure.

51
00:02:35,164 --> 00:02:36,922
Mind your back.

52
00:02:46,954 --> 00:02:48,554
Moving on.

53
00:02:48,666 --> 00:02:49,834
Oh, Pat.

54
00:02:49,859 --> 00:02:51,897
I think we can all agree that Pat was

55
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,823
a pretty hard person to
nail down, death-wise.

56
00:02:55,166 --> 00:02:55,994
Now let's have

57
00:02:56,019 --> 00:02:57,652
a moment of silent prayer

58
00:02:57,761 --> 00:03:00,595
while I decapitate Pat with a shovel.

59
00:03:11,141 --> 00:03:13,200
It's really staying on there.

60
00:03:19,856 --> 00:03:21,316
First-timers club.

61
00:03:33,190 --> 00:03:34,496
Oh, there we go.

62
00:03:34,531 --> 00:03:37,310
There we go. It's off. I got it.

63
00:03:37,335 --> 00:03:38,500
Oh, man.

64
00:03:38,535 --> 00:03:40,535
That was the hardest
decap I've ever done.

65
00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:43,838
And I mean, head and shoulders
above the last one. Boom.

66
00:03:44,887 --> 00:03:46,307
That's funny.

67
00:03:46,343 --> 00:03:47,942
Thank you! Hot room.

68
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,944
And I'm not just saying
that 'cause of the radiation.

69
00:03:53,101 --> 00:03:54,616
- Radiation.
- Pat,

70
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,018
the severing of your
head is the first step

71
00:03:57,053 --> 00:03:59,154
in a two-step process to ensure

72
00:03:59,189 --> 00:04:02,557
that we will never be
surprised by you again.

73
00:04:02,592 --> 00:04:03,958
On to step two.

74
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,360
Okay, so let's

75
00:04:05,395 --> 00:04:07,061
send you south.

76
00:04:14,404 --> 00:04:17,972
And why don't you... head north?

77
00:04:18,890 --> 00:04:20,233
Head north.

78
00:04:42,132 --> 00:04:44,642
Oh, no! He's reassembling!

79
00:04:58,014 --> 00:05:00,114
Namaste.

80
00:05:01,709 --> 00:05:03,218
Hey, Melissa.

81
00:05:03,253 --> 00:05:06,147
How long till we get to Zihuatanejo?

82
00:05:06,288 --> 00:05:07,856
I... no idea.

83
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,528
I've never driven a boat before.
I'm just kind of winging it.

84
00:05:10,553 --> 00:05:12,520
Well, can you wing it faster?

85
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:15,563
We have a two-day-old baby
on board, I'm about to pop,

86
00:05:15,599 --> 00:05:18,934
and there's a nuclear
dust cloud hot on our tail!

87
00:05:18,959 --> 00:05:21,482
The whole situation is M.U.B.A.R...

88
00:05:21,507 --> 00:05:24,724
Messed Up Beyond All Regular-Standards.

89
00:05:24,749 --> 00:05:26,207
Is Regular-Standards hyphenated?

90
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:27,909
- Regular-Standards is hyphenated.
- Well, I'm going

91
00:05:27,944 --> 00:05:29,744
as fast as I can, so...

92
00:05:29,779 --> 00:05:32,247
But you don't have to
worry, 'cause I got this.

93
00:05:32,282 --> 00:05:33,982
Okay, well, right now,

94
00:05:34,017 --> 00:05:36,251
you're giving me a
real booze-cruise vibe,

95
00:05:36,286 --> 00:05:38,219
and I need a little more Coast Guard.

96
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,888
Fine, Carol.

97
00:05:40,621 --> 00:05:41,656
Geez.

98
00:05:41,953 --> 00:05:43,658
Thanks.

99
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,597
So you lost contact with the drone.

100
00:05:49,633 --> 00:05:50,832
What happened next?

101
00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:52,834
Hmm, well, I, uh, drove up to Malibu,

102
00:05:52,869 --> 00:05:55,170
and little did I know,
I had a stowaway...

103
00:05:55,195 --> 00:05:57,272
- this one.
- Oh! So cute.

104
00:05:57,307 --> 00:05:59,340
It's been years since I've seen a dog.

105
00:05:59,376 --> 00:06:00,642
Can I hold him?

106
00:06:00,677 --> 00:06:01,943
I'm sorry, no.

107
00:06:01,978 --> 00:06:03,148
Anyway, when I arrived,

108
00:06:03,173 --> 00:06:05,313
you were all gone, and
then, Pat showed up.

109
00:06:05,348 --> 00:06:07,282
Oh, he was like a wounded animal.

110
00:06:07,317 --> 00:06:11,772
Just a mangled mass of
blood and pus, and it was...

111
00:06:11,797 --> 00:06:13,121
Oh, wonderful!

112
00:06:13,156 --> 00:06:15,690
I already have champagne,
but thank you so much.

113
00:06:18,541 --> 00:06:19,594
Here you go.

114
00:06:20,449 --> 00:06:23,387
Slowly, I nursed Pat back to health.

115
00:06:23,412 --> 00:06:26,701
Some time went by, and our
relationship turned more...

116
00:06:27,477 --> 00:06:29,411
intimate.

117
00:06:30,507 --> 00:06:33,708
Sponge bath after sponge bath,

118
00:06:34,357 --> 00:06:36,311
the lines blurred.

119
00:06:36,701 --> 00:06:38,880
The sponge strayed.

120
00:06:39,341 --> 00:06:40,761
He was a very passionate

121
00:06:40,786 --> 00:06:41,740
and creative lover.

122
00:06:41,765 --> 00:06:44,032
He drew our entire
courtship on a pair of jeans.

123
00:06:45,608 --> 00:06:47,374
Isn't this romantic?

124
00:06:49,705 --> 00:06:51,626
That's me washing his body.

125
00:06:53,563 --> 00:06:55,630
There's our tongues.

126
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:59,400
Looks like he loved you very
much before you shot him.

127
00:06:59,436 --> 00:07:02,403
I didn't think I could be any happier.

128
00:07:02,439 --> 00:07:04,839
And then the rear admiral showed up.

129
00:07:06,209 --> 00:07:08,710
First he was just a friend, but...

130
00:07:09,374 --> 00:07:11,579
then the lines blurred,

131
00:07:11,935 --> 00:07:13,734
tongues strayed.

132
00:07:13,835 --> 00:07:18,029
We became a sensual human centipede.

133
00:07:18,764 --> 00:07:21,432
So, how'd you find us?

134
00:07:21,614 --> 00:07:23,401
Pat saw smoke coming from your camper,

135
00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:24,909
and somehow knew it was you,

136
00:07:24,934 --> 00:07:26,594
and he flew into a rage,

137
00:07:26,630 --> 00:07:28,917
and grabbed his gun. He
said he wanted revenge.

138
00:07:28,942 --> 00:07:30,190
So, we followed him.

139
00:07:30,215 --> 00:07:31,399
I certainly wasn't gonna let him kill

140
00:07:31,434 --> 00:07:33,034
the very people that saved my life.

141
00:07:33,069 --> 00:07:34,435
Saved your life?

142
00:07:34,471 --> 00:07:36,070
When I found you with that drone,

143
00:07:36,106 --> 00:07:38,716
it just gave me something to live for.

144
00:07:38,741 --> 00:07:39,638
TANDY Hey,

145
00:07:39,663 --> 00:07:42,115
you're the one who
saved us by shooting Pat.

146
00:07:42,140 --> 00:07:43,011
No, no, no.

147
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,412
- You saved me.
- Well,

148
00:07:44,447 --> 00:07:46,381
from one jean-art fan to another,

149
00:07:46,416 --> 00:07:48,750
agree to dungaree.

150
00:07:49,056 --> 00:07:50,695
Agree to dungaree.

151
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,286
Oh, God.

152
00:07:52,322 --> 00:07:53,688
Oh, my goodness.

153
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,957
Okay, I'm going to bed.

154
00:07:57,593 --> 00:07:59,394
Sleep tight.

155
00:07:59,429 --> 00:08:01,562
She's great.

156
00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:05,682
Hey. So, how's everyone doing?

157
00:08:05,707 --> 00:08:07,573
- We all getting settled?
- Hardly.

158
00:08:07,598 --> 00:08:11,305
Pamela took the captain's suite,
and now we're all stuck here.

159
00:08:11,341 --> 00:08:13,741
If my water breaks,
it's going right on Todd.

160
00:08:13,777 --> 00:08:15,443
Hey, I'd be honored, Carol.

161
00:08:15,478 --> 00:08:18,079
If I could just piggyback
on Carol's point there.

162
00:08:18,114 --> 00:08:20,715
My baby's sleeping in a chum bucket.

163
00:08:20,914 --> 00:08:22,380
How you holding up, champ?

164
00:08:22,415 --> 00:08:23,581
Fine.

165
00:08:25,121 --> 00:08:28,589
Hey, look, I know a lot
of stuff went down today.

166
00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:31,676
It's not often that you
see a double homicide.

167
00:08:31,832 --> 00:08:34,448
That's why I think it's
important that we have...

168
00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:35,396
a talk.

169
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,098
Sometimes when a bullet

170
00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:40,501
and a man's brain feel very
strongly about each other,

171
00:08:40,537 --> 00:08:43,004
they decide to take it
to the next level, okay?

172
00:08:43,030 --> 00:08:45,179
And that's called penetration.

173
00:08:46,516 --> 00:08:47,816
Oh! Geez.

174
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,580
Did we hit something, hon?

175
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:55,183
- We did.
- All right, that's it.

176
00:08:55,218 --> 00:08:57,731
We're stopping until we
can see where we're going.

177
00:08:57,756 --> 00:08:58,632
Mm-mm.

178
00:08:58,661 --> 00:09:01,422
- No, we got to get to Zihuat.
- Well, we're not gonna get anywhere

179
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,129
with a big friggin' hole in our boat.

180
00:09:03,153 --> 00:09:04,378
- Where's the stopper?
- I'm not stopping the boat.

181
00:09:04,379 --> 00:09:05,293
- No, I'm not showing you.
- Where is the stopper?

182
00:09:05,328 --> 00:09:07,528
- I'm not telling you.
- Where is the friggin' stopper?!

183
00:09:07,564 --> 00:09:10,264
- Fine!
- God.

184
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,000
Now which one of these is the anchor?

185
00:09:13,036 --> 00:09:14,035
I don't know.

186
00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:15,805
Horn.

187
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:18,773
Lights.

188
00:09:19,211 --> 00:09:21,843
There you are, you little sucker.

189
00:09:26,479 --> 00:09:30,047
And that, my friend, is
how you anchor a boat.

190
00:09:58,465 --> 00:09:59,931
Oh, farts.

191
00:10:03,289 --> 00:10:04,922
Why can't we see land?

192
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,713
Yeah. Little hiccup.

193
00:10:08,595 --> 00:10:09,834
Our anchor malfunctioned.

194
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,306
We've been drifting all night.

195
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,061
Gail, how does an anchor malfunction?

196
00:10:13,096 --> 00:10:14,818
Did it suddenly get not heavy?

197
00:10:14,843 --> 00:10:16,931
You know that button we had to press?

198
00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:20,607
Well, apparently, it's more
of a press and hold jobby.

199
00:10:20,632 --> 00:10:21,772
Thanks for telling me.

200
00:10:21,797 --> 00:10:24,606
- Are you telling me we have
no idea where we are? - Shush.

201
00:10:24,641 --> 00:10:27,675
Do you want Carol to hear you
and freak out and go into labor?

202
00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:31,179
- We got to keep this between ourselves.
- Guys?

203
00:10:31,996 --> 00:10:33,448
We have a situation.

204
00:10:35,262 --> 00:10:36,851
I broke the bathroom.

205
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:39,888
How the heck did you manage to do that?

206
00:10:39,923 --> 00:10:43,024
We ran out of TP, so
I had to use my shirt.

207
00:10:43,211 --> 00:10:44,344
- Ew!
- Ew!

208
00:10:44,369 --> 00:10:45,927
Well, long story short, turns out

209
00:10:45,962 --> 00:10:48,930
that pipes on the boat are
not Beefy T compatible. FYI.

210
00:10:48,965 --> 00:10:50,700
Hey, bud, you done with my shirt?

211
00:10:50,725 --> 00:10:52,534
- Oh, you know it, yeah.
- Well, can I have it back?

212
00:10:52,930 --> 00:10:55,497
Well, bad news on that front, bud.

213
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,057
Yeah. She gone.

214
00:10:57,116 --> 00:11:00,475
Oh, yeah, we-we lost her. Yeah.

215
00:11:01,283 --> 00:11:02,877
So you used two T-shirts.

216
00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:05,647
And a sock. It was a
multiple flush situation.

217
00:11:05,682 --> 00:11:06,881
Ah, not to worry.

218
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,917
I arranged a backup.

219
00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:12,153
Shazam.

220
00:11:13,617 --> 00:11:14,823
Jeremy! No! No, no, no!

221
00:11:14,858 --> 00:11:17,926
No, no. Oh, bad dog.

222
00:11:17,961 --> 00:11:19,360
Sorry, you guys.

223
00:11:19,385 --> 00:11:21,896
It wasn't designed to
hold the weight of a dog.

224
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:23,832
Uh, where's land?

225
00:11:24,769 --> 00:11:25,733
It's there.

226
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:27,569
You just can't see it right now.

227
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:30,269
- Yeah, it's an illusion.
- Yeah.

228
00:11:30,294 --> 00:11:34,572
The reflection of the water
blocks the view of the land.

229
00:11:34,597 --> 00:11:36,444
It's, uh, called...

230
00:11:36,857 --> 00:11:37,979
Davy Jones'...

231
00:11:38,014 --> 00:11:39,481
- Mirror.
- Mirror.

232
00:11:39,513 --> 00:11:40,105
Yeah.

233
00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:41,583
- Davy Jones' Mirror.
- Davy Jones' Mirror.

234
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,124
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, know it well.

235
00:11:44,149 --> 00:11:45,587
Know it well.

236
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,155
- Really?
- Here, help me fish this

237
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:48,356
- toilet paper out of the water.
- Yeah.

238
00:11:48,391 --> 00:11:49,457
It's my favorite brand.

239
00:11:49,493 --> 00:11:50,959
Hey-o.

240
00:11:51,321 --> 00:11:52,794
- Good morning.
- Good morning.

241
00:11:52,829 --> 00:11:55,497
Well, your eyes don't have
brows, but your nipples sure do.

242
00:11:55,532 --> 00:11:58,266
Thank you. Uh, speaking
of hairy situations,

243
00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:01,669
I did a, a little number on
the "B" room this morning, two.

244
00:12:01,705 --> 00:12:03,705
And it is fully out of commish, yeah.

245
00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:06,174
Hmm. I'm all ears.

246
00:12:06,209 --> 00:12:08,276
If you're all ears, then I
guess I can talk down here.

247
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,644
Or into here, or in here.

248
00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:11,145
Or into here, or into here.

249
00:12:11,181 --> 00:12:12,671
Or up here, or down here, over here.

250
00:12:12,696 --> 00:12:13,796
Tandy.

251
00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:18,019
Pamela. You look rested.

252
00:12:18,401 --> 00:12:20,154
I didn't sleep well at all.

253
00:12:20,190 --> 00:12:21,389
Ugh, wasn't it terrible?

254
00:12:21,424 --> 00:12:24,025
Sometimes a bed can be too big.

255
00:12:24,541 --> 00:12:26,108
So, what are you two up to?

256
00:12:26,133 --> 00:12:27,258
Well, I was just, uh,

257
00:12:27,283 --> 00:12:29,898
telling Pamela that I put
one too many logs on the fire.

258
00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:32,008
Oh, "logs on the fire."

259
00:12:32,078 --> 00:12:33,201
I like that.

260
00:12:33,236 --> 00:12:35,746
Well, if you like that, I
got a bridge I could sell ya.

261
00:12:35,771 --> 00:12:37,739
I don't have a bridge,
I'm not a dentist.

262
00:12:37,774 --> 00:12:39,099
What? Like a bridge?

263
00:12:39,124 --> 00:12:40,909
Like in someone's mouth.

264
00:12:44,748 --> 00:12:46,884
Yeah, he's not a dentist.

265
00:12:46,909 --> 00:12:47,753
By the way,

266
00:12:47,778 --> 00:12:49,327
why do they call them dentists? I mean,

267
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:50,919
do they specialize in dents?

268
00:12:52,255 --> 00:12:55,490
Dents. They don't.

269
00:12:57,407 --> 00:13:00,695
Yeah, it's priceless.

270
00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:03,731
I mean, they should call
them "toothists," am I right?

271
00:13:03,767 --> 00:13:05,833
"Toothists."

272
00:13:13,076 --> 00:13:16,210
You're right! You're
right! You're right!

273
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:22,750
Well, this has been very, very fun.

274
00:13:22,786 --> 00:13:25,942
Uh, again, broken toilet,
catch you on the flippety.

275
00:13:25,967 --> 00:13:27,426
Catch you on the flippety,
catch you on the flippety,

276
00:13:27,451 --> 00:13:28,523
catch you on the flippety,

277
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:30,191
catch you on the flippety,
catch you on the flippety.

278
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,360
- A little inside joke with us.
- Love it.

279
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,228
I love inside jokes.

280
00:13:34,264 --> 00:13:36,230
Oh, yeah.

281
00:13:37,156 --> 00:13:39,767
Guess around I'll be seeing you.

282
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:48,042
Yeah, because we had...
we went from here to here.

283
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,310
- Okay, okay.
- Hey, uh,

284
00:13:49,335 --> 00:13:51,208
- what's the holdup?
- No holdup.

285
00:13:51,233 --> 00:13:53,915
- Just charting it up.
- Look, I don't

286
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:58,589
want to talk out of turn,
but that Pamela is a real "B,"

287
00:13:58,614 --> 00:14:00,955
minus the stinger, plus the itch.

288
00:14:00,991 --> 00:14:02,957
Not only did she take the big room,

289
00:14:02,993 --> 00:14:05,159
she's all over my husband.

290
00:14:05,195 --> 00:14:06,961
She laughs at all of his jokes.

291
00:14:06,997 --> 00:14:09,759
And let's face it, he's
no Garrison Keillor.

292
00:14:09,784 --> 00:14:10,965
She sucks.

293
00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:12,166
I'm pretty sure she's
the one burning through

294
00:14:12,202 --> 00:14:13,568
our supplies, too.

295
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,770
Uh, you think?

296
00:14:21,544 --> 00:14:23,077
There we go.

297
00:14:26,549 --> 00:14:30,618
Jeremy, are you wearing sunscreen?

298
00:14:31,192 --> 00:14:33,187
Told you a million times that
sunscreen's very important.

299
00:14:33,223 --> 00:14:34,689
There you are.

300
00:14:34,724 --> 00:14:37,158
- Little rascal.
- Too late.

301
00:14:37,352 --> 00:14:39,867
That settles it. As
soon as we hit dry land,

302
00:14:39,899 --> 00:14:41,829
we cut Pamela loose.

303
00:14:42,258 --> 00:14:43,575
Amen to that.

304
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,367
Fine with me.

305
00:14:47,255 --> 00:14:48,703
Don't you worry.

306
00:14:48,738 --> 00:14:50,371
Your mama will fix this.

307
00:14:50,407 --> 00:14:52,440
Mama fixes everything.

308
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,881
Man, I can't wait till
we get to Zihuatanejo.

309
00:14:59,916 --> 00:15:01,182
Hey, Gail.

310
00:15:01,217 --> 00:15:02,817
How much longer?

311
00:15:02,852 --> 00:15:05,453
Well, if this wind holds,

312
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:08,789
I would give it...

313
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:12,960
four or maybe five nautical hours.

314
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:14,829
You can tell the wind inside?

315
00:15:14,864 --> 00:15:16,797
Todd, my family has a rich history

316
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,332
of boating while intoxicated.

317
00:15:18,368 --> 00:15:19,727
I think I know what I'm doing.

318
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,169
Um, where's my breast milk?

319
00:15:22,205 --> 00:15:23,638
White Russians, anyone?

320
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:24,972
Come on, we're on a cruise.

321
00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:26,841
Take the edge off. Enjoy.

322
00:15:26,876 --> 00:15:28,138
Oh, my God.

323
00:15:28,163 --> 00:15:29,844
That's my breast milk.

324
00:15:29,879 --> 00:15:31,812
Who steals from a baby?

325
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,547
Well, it wasn't labeled.

326
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:35,549
It wasn't in a breast.

327
00:15:35,585 --> 00:15:36,817
Tandy seems to like it.

328
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,886
Mmm. Are you kidding?

329
00:15:38,922 --> 00:15:41,722
That was the breast White
Russian I've ever had.

330
00:15:41,758 --> 00:15:44,058
My compliments to the chef.

331
00:15:44,093 --> 00:15:45,893
Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick.

332
00:15:45,929 --> 00:15:47,361
Land!

333
00:15:47,397 --> 00:15:48,863
Land!

334
00:15:48,898 --> 00:15:51,265
- We did it!
- Oh, my God.

335
00:15:51,301 --> 00:15:52,900
We did it!

336
00:15:53,868 --> 00:15:55,236
What? I don't get it.
What's the big deal?

337
00:15:55,271 --> 00:15:56,904
Haven't we been following
land the whole time?

338
00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:57,923
Yeah and why

339
00:15:57,948 --> 00:15:59,874
is Mexico an island?

340
00:15:59,909 --> 00:16:01,767
Um, okay, y'all.

341
00:16:01,792 --> 00:16:04,011
There's kind of a good news/bad news

342
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,780
type of situation here.

343
00:16:05,815 --> 00:16:09,116
The good news is we found land.

344
00:16:10,987 --> 00:16:13,587
And Melissa will be
fielding the bad news.

345
00:16:13,623 --> 00:16:15,723
All right? Take it away, hon.

346
00:16:15,758 --> 00:16:17,291
Thanks.

347
00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:18,824
Uh, we're lost.

348
00:16:18,856 --> 00:16:20,234
What? Are you kidding me? Seriously?

349
00:16:20,263 --> 00:16:21,535
How'd that happen?

350
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,364
Well, when we dropped anchor last night,

351
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,590
something went wrong,

352
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,676
and, um, we drifted out to sea.

353
00:16:26,701 --> 00:16:28,879
- Geez.
- And rather than get your panties

354
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:30,913
in a collective bunch,
we just decided to lie

355
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:32,448
and tell you we knew where we were.

356
00:16:32,483 --> 00:16:34,392
- Are you out of your minds?
- Cheese and rice.

357
00:16:34,417 --> 00:16:35,673
She was on anchor duty.

358
00:16:35,698 --> 00:16:37,253
And she was drinking like a fish.

359
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:38,621
It's my honeymoon.

360
00:16:38,656 --> 00:16:40,353
Well, what do we do
now? W-We're out here

361
00:16:40,378 --> 00:16:43,135
in the middle of nowhere and
we're running out of supplies.

362
00:16:43,223 --> 00:16:45,189
Yeah, 'cause of someone.

363
00:16:47,498 --> 00:16:49,532
Maybe there's some
supplies on the island.

364
00:16:49,567 --> 00:16:50,933
Fresh water, coconuts.

365
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,635
Ooh, a coconut breast milk smoothie

366
00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:53,870
would be next level.

367
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:56,005
Uh, for Dawn, not for me.

368
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,274
Virgin... the drink, not Dawn.

369
00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,509
Well, I presume she's a virgin as well.

370
00:17:00,545 --> 00:17:01,555
- Gross!
- Gross! Ew!

371
00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:03,546
- Geez, man.
- Oh, God. You know what?

372
00:17:03,581 --> 00:17:04,947
I-I just want to get off this boat.

373
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:06,405
I don't care what the reason is.

374
00:17:06,430 --> 00:17:08,317
Okay, then it's settled.

375
00:17:08,353 --> 00:17:10,219
We're going to the island.

376
00:17:10,255 --> 00:17:12,455
Good. 'Cause it's starting to feel

377
00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:14,624
a little crowded on this boat.

378
00:17:21,715 --> 00:17:23,401
Get ready for half an hour

379
00:17:23,426 --> 00:17:25,701
of Tandy making jokes about his dinghy.

380
00:17:25,737 --> 00:17:27,803
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Hey, Gail,

381
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,721
guess what you're
sitting on right now, huh?

382
00:17:29,746 --> 00:17:31,010
Uh, Tandy, could I ask you something?

383
00:17:31,035 --> 00:17:31,807
Let that marinate.

384
00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,175
Uh, trust me, it'll be worth it.

385
00:17:33,211 --> 00:17:35,077
Yeah, go ahead, Pamela.

386
00:17:35,113 --> 00:17:36,913
Do you ever feel like
you need to do something

387
00:17:36,948 --> 00:17:39,348
even though if you did it,
everyone would hate you?

388
00:17:39,384 --> 00:17:41,851
Hey, literally, all the time.

389
00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,152
What do you do?

390
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,154
Well, I'll tell you what I do.

391
00:17:45,454 --> 00:17:48,724
Caution. Wind.

392
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,393
Thanks, Tandy.

393
00:17:50,428 --> 00:17:52,228
That's what I thought.

394
00:17:52,435 --> 00:17:54,202
You know what? I just painted my nails.

395
00:17:54,227 --> 00:17:57,233
Would you do me a favor and
untie that rope so I can get in?

396
00:17:57,584 --> 00:17:59,535
Un-tie to stop me.

397
00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:02,004
- Gail, Gail. Gail.
- Oh.

398
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,439
Gail. Gail.

399
00:18:03,474 --> 00:18:04,674
It's my dinghy.

400
00:18:06,144 --> 00:18:07,677
So, how do we make this thing move?

401
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:10,166
- We row.
- Oh, that's fun.

402
00:18:10,191 --> 00:18:12,415
Okay.

403
00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:14,383
Hey, I think you accidentally hit me.

404
00:18:14,419 --> 00:18:15,718
Sorry.

405
00:18:15,753 --> 00:18:17,183
God. Ow.

406
00:18:17,755 --> 00:18:19,288
Whoa!

407
00:18:19,806 --> 00:18:21,804
Sorry. I overheard what you
said about cutting me loose.

408
00:18:21,829 --> 00:18:23,292
It had to be you or me.

409
00:18:23,328 --> 00:18:25,148
I'll take real good care of Tandy. Bye.

410
00:18:25,173 --> 00:18:28,064
Hey!

411
00:18:28,099 --> 00:18:29,899
Tandy!

412
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:32,702
Hey!

413
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:35,276
- Tandy! No!
- Oh, my God.

414
00:18:35,301 --> 00:18:37,635
Tandy!

415
00:18:39,010 --> 00:18:41,444
Tandy!

416
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:51,007
Wh...

417
00:18:51,032 --> 00:18:52,577
What are you doing?

418
00:18:52,602 --> 00:18:53,835
What are you doing to me?

419
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:55,307
I-It's called Latisse.

420
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:56,702
It'll help with your brow growth.

421
00:18:56,727 --> 00:18:58,144
Why are you doing this?

422
00:18:58,179 --> 00:18:59,645
Eyebrows are important.

423
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,856
They're like mustaches for your eyes.

424
00:19:01,881 --> 00:19:04,483
No, I mean, why are you kidnapping me?

425
00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:07,086
My wife and unborn
child are on that boat.

426
00:19:07,545 --> 00:19:09,574
Caution. Wind.

427
00:19:09,599 --> 00:19:11,098
Remember, Tandy?

428
00:19:11,123 --> 00:19:12,791
I am a woman that gets what she wants.

429
00:19:12,827 --> 00:19:15,594
And I'm confident that
as your brows grow,

430
00:19:15,630 --> 00:19:17,730
so will your affection for me.

431
00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:19,465
What are you talking about?

432
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:21,734
I am married to Carol.

433
00:19:22,508 --> 00:19:23,636
For now.

434
00:19:24,312 --> 00:19:25,437
Wait. No, no, no.

435
00:19:25,473 --> 00:19:28,147
Come on. Pamela, please.
We have to go back.

436
00:19:28,172 --> 00:19:29,975
Relax, they'll be fine.

437
00:19:30,011 --> 00:19:32,266
I left them plenty of supplies.

438
00:19:32,291 --> 00:19:34,246
Let's see. We've got, uh, champagne,

439
00:19:34,282 --> 00:19:35,948
a friggin' fondue pot.

440
00:19:35,983 --> 00:19:39,752
Sunglasses case with no sunglasses.

441
00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:42,588
Fancy napkins, uh... oh.

442
00:19:42,623 --> 00:19:44,190
A bunch of beef jerky.

443
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,425
Oh, extreme teriyaki flavor.

444
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,194
Let's see now.

445
00:19:50,779 --> 00:19:52,683
Yeah, that's definitely extreme.

446
00:19:52,708 --> 00:19:54,573
Champagne and beef jerky.

447
00:19:54,598 --> 00:19:57,446
This is like New Year's
at Ted Nugent's house.

448
00:19:57,471 --> 00:20:00,899
Oh, my gol. Did you see
what she did to Tandy?

449
00:20:00,924 --> 00:20:02,992
- I know.
- She is a monster!

450
00:20:03,017 --> 00:20:05,327
- Yeah.
- We're stranded out here.

451
00:20:05,352 --> 00:20:06,879
Calm down, Jasper.

452
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,281
This one doesn't have the same kick.

453
00:20:09,324 --> 00:20:11,533
Oh, it's just regular
teriyaki; that explains it.

454
00:20:11,558 --> 00:20:12,305
Todd, paddle!

455
00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:13,618
- Oh, I'm paddling.
- Come on.

456
00:20:13,654 --> 00:20:15,787
Shh, shh, shh. It's okay.

457
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:17,322
- It's gonna be okay.
- Dawn.

458
00:20:17,358 --> 00:20:18,924
You know what? That's right, Erica.

459
00:20:18,959 --> 00:20:22,061
It is gonna be okay,
because if I know Tandy,

460
00:20:22,086 --> 00:20:23,595
he'll figure out a way to save us.

461
00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:24,896
- We're gonna die out here.
- Oh, boy.

462
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:25,931
No, no, no, no.

463
00:20:25,966 --> 00:20:27,132
- We are so screwed!
- We are.

464
00:20:27,167 --> 00:20:28,667
Okay, look. Guys, guys.

465
00:20:28,702 --> 00:20:30,438
We all need to just cool our jets.

466
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:33,615
I know this situation
does seem dire right now,

467
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,907
but look on the bright side.

468
00:20:36,275 --> 00:20:39,076
We have our very own island.

469
00:20:54,301 --> 00:20:59,301
Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -

