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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

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_

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Aziraphale. Angel of the Eastern Gate.

5
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Yes, Lord?

6
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Where is the flaming sword
I gave you, Aziraphale,

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to guard the Gate of Eden?

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Sword? Right.

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Um... uh...

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- Big, sharp, cutty thing.
- Yes.

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Uh...

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Oh, must have, uh...

13
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must have put it down here somewhere.

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Um...

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Forget my own head next.

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Oh, dear.

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_

18
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Hello, Aziraphale.

19
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Crawley.

20
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So, giving the mortals a flaming sword.

21
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How did that work out for you?

22
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The Almighty has never
actually mentioned it again.

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Probably a good thing.

24
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What's all this about?

25
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Build a big boat and fill
it with a travelling zoo?

26
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From what I hear, God's a bit tetchy.

27
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Wiping out the human race.

28
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Big storm.

29
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All of them?

30
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Just the locals.

31
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I don't believe the Almighty's
upset with the Chinese.

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Or the Native Americans.

33
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- Or the Australians.
- Yet.

34
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And God's not actually going
to wipe out all the locals.

35
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I mean, Noah, up there,

36
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his family, and his sons, their wives,

37
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they're all going to be fine.

38
00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:54,700
But they're drowning everybody else?

39
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Not the kids? You can't kill kids.

40
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Mm-hmm.

41
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Well, that's more the kind of
thing you'd expect my lot to do.

42
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Yes, but when it's done,

43
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the Almighty's going to put up
a new thing, called a "rain bow",

44
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as a promise not to
drown everyone again.

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How kind.

46
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You can't judge the Almighty, Crawley.

47
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God's plans are...

48
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Are you going to say "ineffable"?

49
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Possibly.

50
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Oy! Shem!

51
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That unicorn's going
to make a run for it.

52
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Oh, it's too late. It's too late!

53
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Well, you've still got one of them.

54
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Father, please.

55
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You have to forgive them.

56
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_

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They don't know what they are doing.

58
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Aah!

59
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Come to smirk at the
poor bugger, have you?

60
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Smirk? Me?

61
00:03:03,420 --> 00:03:05,220
Well, your lot put him on there.

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I'm not consulted on
policy decisions, Crawley.

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Oh, I've changed it.

64
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- Changed what?
- My name.

65
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"Crawl-y" just wasn't
really doing it for me.

66
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It's a bit too...
squirming-at-your-feet-ish.

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Well, you were a snake.

68
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So, what is it now?

69
00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:22,740
Mephistopheles? Asmodeus?

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Crowley.

71
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:26,220
Hmm.

72
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Did you, uh...

73
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ever meet him?

74
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Yes.

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Seemed a very bright young man.

76
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I showed him all the
kingdoms of the world.

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Why?

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He's a carpenter from Galilee.

79
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His travel opportunities are limited.

80
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That has got to hurt.

81
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What was it he said that
got everyone so upset?

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"Be kind to each other."

83
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Oh, yeah. That'll do it.

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_

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_

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What have you got?

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Give me a jug of whatever
you think is drinkable.

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Jug of house brown.

89
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Two sesterces.

90
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Crawley... Crowley?

91
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Well...

92
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Fancy running into you here.

93
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Still a demon, then?

94
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What kind of stupid question
is that, "Still a demon"?

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What else am I going to be, an aardvark?

96
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Salutaria.

97
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In Rome long?

98
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Just nipped in for a quick temptation.

99
00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:15,580
- You?
- I thought I'd try Petronius's new restaurant.

100
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I hear he does remarkable
things to oysters.

101
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I've never eaten an oyster.

102
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Oh.

103
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Oh, well, let me tempt you to...

104
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Oh, no.

105
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No, that's... that's your job, isn't it?

106
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_

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_

108
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Hello?

109
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I, Sir Aziraphale of the Table Round,

110
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am here to speak

111
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to the Black Knight.

112
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Oh. Right.

113
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Um... hello.

114
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- Yeah, come.
- I...

115
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I was hoping to meet
with the Black Knight?

116
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You have sought the
Black Knight, foolish one.

117
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But you have found your death.

118
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Is that you under there, Crawley?

119
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Crowley.

120
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What the hell are you playing at?

121
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It's alright, lads. I
know him. He's alright.

122
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I'm here spreading foment.

123
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What is that, some kind of porridge?

124
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No. I'm, you know, fomenting
dissent and discord.

125
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King Arthur's been spreading

126
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too much peace and
tranquillity in the land,

127
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so I'm here, you know, fomenting.

128
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Well, I'm meant to be fomenting peace.

129
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So we're both working
very hard in damp places

130
00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:02,220
and just cancelling each other out?

131
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Well, you could put it like that.

132
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It is a bit damp.

133
00:07:05,180 --> 00:07:07,820
Be easier if we both stayed home.

134
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If we just sent messages
back to our head offices

135
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saying we'd done everything
they'd asked for, wouldn't it?

136
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But that would be lying.

137
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Eh, possibly, but the end
result would be the same.

138
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Cancel each other out.

139
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But, my dear fellow...

140
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well, they'd check.

141
00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:26,260
Michael's a... bit of a stickler.

142
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You don't want to get
Gabriel upset with you.

143
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Oh, our lot have better things to do

144
00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:31,860
than verifying compliance
reports from Earth.

145
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As long as they get the
paperwork, they seem happy enough.

146
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As long as you're being seen to be
doing something every now and again.

147
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No! Absolutely not!

148
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I am shocked that you would
even imply such a thing.

149
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We're not having this
conversation. Not another word.

150
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- Right.
- Right!

151
00:08:01,641 --> 00:08:03,080
_

152
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Oysters!

153
00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:15,300
- Oranges!
- Some grapes, please.

154
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To be or not to be,
that is the question.

155
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They look scrummy.

156
00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:20,820
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind

157
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,140
to suffer the slings and
arrows of outrageous fortune...

158
00:08:23,220 --> 00:08:26,260
I thought you said we'd
be inconspicuous here.

159
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,340
Blend in among the crowds.

160
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,980
Well, that was the idea.

161
00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:33,740
- Hang on.
- Oranges!

162
00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:35,980
This isn't one of Shakespeare's
gloomy ones, is it?

163
00:08:36,060 --> 00:08:38,620
- No wonder nobody's here.
- Shh. It's him. It's him.

164
00:08:38,660 --> 00:08:43,020
Prithee, gentles. Might
I request a small favour?

165
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:46,420
Could you, in your role as the audience,

166
00:08:46,540 --> 00:08:48,540
give us more to work with?

167
00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:51,220
You mean, like when the
ghost of his father came on,

168
00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:53,420
and I said, "He's behind you!"

169
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,340
Just so. That was jolly helpful.

170
00:08:55,420 --> 00:08:58,780
Made everyone on stage feel appreciated.

171
00:08:58,860 --> 00:09:00,060
A bit more of that.

172
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,420
Good Master Burbage, please.

173
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,420
Speak the lines trippingly.

174
00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:06,420
I am wasting my time up here.

175
00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:08,540
No, no, you're very good.

176
00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:10,260
I love all the...

177
00:09:10,340 --> 00:09:12,260
talking.

178
00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:13,620
And what does your friend think?

179
00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:15,780
Oh, he's not my friend.

180
00:09:15,860 --> 00:09:17,596
We've never met before.
We don't know each other.

181
00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:19,980
I think you should get on with the play.

182
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,260
Yes, Burbage. Please.

183
00:09:22,340 --> 00:09:23,780
From the top.

184
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:29,180
To be or not to be.

185
00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:30,740
That is the question.

186
00:09:30,780 --> 00:09:33,260
To be! I mean, not to be!

187
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,660
Come on, Hamlet! Buck up!

188
00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:40,740
Whether 'tis nobler
in the mind to suffer

189
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,940
- the slings and arrows...
- He's very good, isn't he?

190
00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:47,780
Age does not wither, nor custom
stale his infinite variety.

191
00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:50,740
Mmm!

192
00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:52,300
Yeah, I like that.

193
00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:54,300
To die. To sleep.

194
00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:56,780
- No more...
- What do you want?

195
00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:59,660
Why ever would you insinuate that
I might possibly want something?

196
00:09:59,780 --> 00:10:01,620
You are up to no good.

197
00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:04,900
Obviously. You're up to good, I take it?

198
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:06,140
Lots of good deeds?

199
00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:10,740
No rest for the... well, good.

200
00:10:10,780 --> 00:10:12,940
I have to be in Edinburgh
at the end of the week.

201
00:10:13,020 --> 00:10:14,660
- Oh.
- A couple of blessings to do.

202
00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:16,420
A minor miracle to perform.

203
00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:18,940
Apparently, I have to ride a horse.

204
00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:22,220
Hard on the buttocks, horses.

205
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,420
Major design flaw, if you ask me.

206
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:28,940
I'm meant to be heading
to Edinburgh too this week.

207
00:10:29,020 --> 00:10:31,340
Tempting a clan leader
to steal some cattle.

208
00:10:31,420 --> 00:10:33,340
Doesn't sound like hard work.

209
00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:35,316
The pangs of despised love
and the insolence of office...

210
00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:40,660
That's why I thought we should...

211
00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:44,566
Well, bit of a waste of effort,

212
00:10:44,567 --> 00:10:46,140
both of us going all
the way to Scotland.

213
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:49,060
You cannot actually be suggesting...

214
00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:51,660
what I infer...

215
00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:53,100
you are implying.

216
00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:54,660
Which is?

217
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:59,180
That just one of us goes
to Edinburgh, does both.

218
00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:00,540
The blessing and the tempting.

219
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:02,020
We've done it before.

220
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:03,900
Dozens of times now.

221
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:06,620
- The arrangement...
- Don't say that.

222
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:09,100
Our respective head
offices don't actually care

223
00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:10,660
how things get done.

224
00:11:10,740 --> 00:11:12,516
They just want to know they
can cross it off the list.

225
00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:15,140
But if Hell finds out,
they won't just be angry,

226
00:11:15,220 --> 00:11:16,980
they'll destroy you.

227
00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:19,060
Nobody ever has to know.

228
00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:20,740
Toss you for Edinburgh.

229
00:11:25,180 --> 00:11:26,460
Fine. Heads.

230
00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:31,900
Tails, I'm afraid.
You're going to Scotland.

231
00:11:31,980 --> 00:11:34,700
It's been like this
every performance, Juliet.

232
00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:37,140
Complete dud.

233
00:11:37,220 --> 00:11:40,060
It'd take a miracle to get
anyone to come and see "Hamlet".

234
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,420
Yes, alright.

235
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,220
I'll do that one. My treat.

236
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:48,540
- Oh, really?
- I still prefer the funny ones.

237
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:32,460
... mistake...

238
00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:34,140
Uh, erreur.

239
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,860
Bit out of practise at the French.

240
00:12:35,940 --> 00:12:38,940
Um...

241
00:12:39,020 --> 00:12:41,220
I speak English.

242
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,020
Listen to that.

243
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:45,020
The fall of the guillotine blade.

244
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:46,780
Is it not terrible?

245
00:12:46,860 --> 00:12:50,660
Yes. Yes, cutting off that
poor woman's head. Terrible.

246
00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:53,140
It is Pierre. An amateur.

247
00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:56,180
Always he let go of the rope too soon.

248
00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:59,020
You are lucky that it is I, Jean-Claude,

249
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:02,820
who will remove your traitorous
head from your shoulders.

250
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:04,540
Look, this is all a terrible mistake.

251
00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:06,836
- I don't think you understand...
- I have good news for you.

252
00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:10,660
You are the 999th aristo

253
00:13:10,740 --> 00:13:13,540
to die at the guillotine by my hand.

254
00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:15,860
But the first English.

255
00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:19,380
Now...

256
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:21,660
Please. No.

257
00:13:21,740 --> 00:13:24,500
Dreadful mistake, discorporating me.

258
00:13:24,580 --> 00:13:27,020
Oh, it'll be a complete nightmare.

259
00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:31,820
Animals.

260
00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:34,980
Animals don't kill each other
with clever machines, angel.

261
00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:36,220
Only humans do that.

262
00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:37,620
Crowley.

263
00:13:38,780 --> 00:13:42,140
Oh, good Lord.

264
00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:44,900
What the deuce are you doing
locked up in the Bastille?

265
00:13:44,980 --> 00:13:46,740
I thought you were opening a book shop.

266
00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:47,980
Well, I was.

267
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,940
I got peckish.

268
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:51,460
"Peckish"?

269
00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:54,620
Well, if you must
know, it was the crepes.

270
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:57,700
You can't get decent
ones anywhere but Paris.

271
00:13:57,780 --> 00:13:59,340
And the brioche.

272
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:02,180
So you just popped across the
Channel during a revolution,

273
00:14:02,260 --> 00:14:03,940
because you wanted something to nibble?

274
00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:06,340
- Dressed like that?
- I have standards.

275
00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:08,980
I'd heard they were getting a
bit carried away over here but...

276
00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:10,860
Yeah, this is not getting carried away.

277
00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:13,500
This is cutting off lots of
people's heads very efficiently

278
00:14:13,580 --> 00:14:15,260
with a big head-cutting machine.

279
00:14:15,340 --> 00:14:17,436
Why didn't you just perform
another miracle and go home?

280
00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:20,540
I was reprimanded last month.

281
00:14:20,620 --> 00:14:24,220
They said I'd performed
too many frivolous miracles.

282
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:27,100
Got a strongly worded note from Gabriel.

283
00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,100
Well, you're lucky I was in the area.

284
00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:30,740
I suppose I am.

285
00:14:30,820 --> 00:14:32,460
Why are you here?

286
00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:36,700
My lot sent me a commendation
for outstanding job performance.

287
00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:39,300
So all this is your demonic work?

288
00:14:39,380 --> 00:14:41,580
No. The humans thought it up themselves.

289
00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:43,540
Nothing to do with me.

290
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:52,340
Well, I suppose I should say
thank you for the, uh, rescue.

291
00:14:52,420 --> 00:14:54,100
Don't say that.

292
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:55,820
If my people hear I rescued an angel,

293
00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:57,100
I'll be the one in trouble.

294
00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:58,580
And my lot do not send rude notes.

295
00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:01,180
Well, anyway, I'm very grateful.

296
00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:03,100
What about if I buy you lunch?

297
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:04,500
Looking like that?

298
00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:13,260
Well, barely counts
as a miracle, really.

299
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:24,900
Dressed like that,
he's asking for trouble.

300
00:15:26,580 --> 00:15:28,620
What's for lunch?

301
00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:31,100
What would you say to some crepes?

302
00:15:32,121 --> 00:15:34,760
_

303
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:57,700
Look, I've been thinking.
What if it all goes wrong?

304
00:15:57,780 --> 00:15:59,460
We have a lot in common, you and me.

305
00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:00,740
I don't know.

306
00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:04,500
We may have both started off
as angels, but you are fallen.

307
00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:06,140
I didn't really fall.

308
00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:07,620
I just, you know...

309
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,700
sauntered vaguely downwards.

310
00:16:10,780 --> 00:16:12,180
I need a favour.

311
00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:14,580
We already have the agreement, Crowley.

312
00:16:14,660 --> 00:16:16,100
Stay out of each other's way.

313
00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:18,060
Lend a hand when needed.

314
00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:20,020
This is something else,

315
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:21,580
for if it all goes pear-shaped.

316
00:16:23,060 --> 00:16:25,260
I like pears.

317
00:16:25,340 --> 00:16:26,700
If it all goes wrong,

318
00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:28,340
I want insurance.

319
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:30,540
What?

320
00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:32,580
I wrote it down. Walls have ears.

321
00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:34,260
Well, not walls. Trees have ears.

322
00:16:34,340 --> 00:16:36,060
Ducks have ears.

323
00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:37,580
Do ducks have ears?

324
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:40,540
Must do. That's how
they hear other ducks.

325
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:42,900
Out of the question.

326
00:16:42,980 --> 00:16:44,180
Why not?

327
00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:46,340
It would destroy you.

328
00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:48,940
I'm not bringing you a
suicide pill, Crowley.

329
00:16:49,020 --> 00:16:52,180
That's not what I want
it for. Just insurance.

330
00:16:52,205 --> 00:16:53,399
_

331
00:16:54,820 --> 00:16:57,180
I'm not an idiot, Crowley.

332
00:16:57,260 --> 00:17:00,180
Do you know what trouble I'd be in if...

333
00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:03,700
if they knew I'd been fraternising?

334
00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:05,740
It's completely out of the question.

335
00:17:05,820 --> 00:17:06,820
Fraternising?

336
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,380
Well, whatever you wish to call it.

337
00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:11,900
I do not think there is any
point in discussing it further.

338
00:17:11,980 --> 00:17:14,620
I have lots of other people
to fraternise with, angel.

339
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,460
- Of course you do.
- I don't need you.

340
00:17:16,580 --> 00:17:19,620
Well, and the feeling
is mutual, obviously.

341
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:26,140
Obviously.

342
00:17:40,561 --> 00:17:41,640
_

343
00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:04,860
Mr Glozier. Mr Harmony.

344
00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:07,220
Mr Fell. You are late.

345
00:18:07,340 --> 00:18:08,980
But not to worry.

346
00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:11,460
You have the books for the Fuehrer?

347
00:18:11,580 --> 00:18:12,700
Yes, I do.

348
00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:19,420
Books of prophecy.

349
00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:22,820
Otwell Binns, Robert
Nixon, Mother Shipton.

350
00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:25,220
First editions, as requested.

351
00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:27,780
What about the other book
we told you to bring us?

352
00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:30,540
The Fuehrer was most
definite that he needs it.

353
00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:32,540
It has the prophecies that are true.

354
00:18:32,620 --> 00:18:37,700
With the true prophecy book,
the war is as good as won.

355
00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:41,300
The Nice and Accurate Prophecies
of Agnes Nutter, Witch.

356
00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:43,060
No luck.

357
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:46,980
I'm afraid that is the Holy
Grail of prophetic books.

358
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:48,860
The Fuehrer also wants the Holy Grail.

359
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:51,300
And the Spear of Destiny,
should you run across them.

360
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:54,420
Why are there no copies
of Agnes Nutter's book?

361
00:18:54,460 --> 00:18:57,100
We have made it clear
that money is no object.

362
00:18:57,180 --> 00:18:59,700
You will be a very rich man.

363
00:18:59,780 --> 00:19:02,060
The unsold copies of The
Nice and Accurate Prophecies

364
00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:03,900
were destroyed by the publisher,

365
00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:06,660
which is, well, all of them.

366
00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:08,700
It never sold a single copy.

367
00:19:08,820 --> 00:19:13,300
But I found the publisher's
catalogue for 1655,

368
00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:16,780
and it does list one of
Agnes Nutter's prophecies.

369
00:19:16,860 --> 00:19:18,380
What was it?

370
00:19:18,460 --> 00:19:21,420
Her prophecy for 1972.

371
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:24,700
"Do not buy Betamax."

372
00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:27,060
Who is Peter Max?

373
00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:30,220
I have no idea.

374
00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:32,340
I will pass it on to the Fuehrer.

375
00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:35,860
These volumes of prophecy will be
in Berlin by the end of the week.

376
00:19:35,940 --> 00:19:37,460
The Fuehrer will be most grateful.

377
00:19:37,580 --> 00:19:39,356
You have been exceedingly
helpful, Mr Fell.

378
00:19:40,940 --> 00:19:43,980
Such a pity you must be
eliminated, but take heart,

379
00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:46,140
just another death in the Blitz.

380
00:19:46,220 --> 00:19:48,300
That's not very sporting.

381
00:19:48,380 --> 00:19:51,100
You do not appear worried, my friend.

382
00:19:55,180 --> 00:19:56,820
He's not worried.

383
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:58,460
Who is she?

384
00:19:58,540 --> 00:20:00,820
She, my double-dealing
Nazi acquaintance,

385
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:04,700
is the reason why none of those
books are going back to Berlin,

386
00:20:04,820 --> 00:20:08,220
and why your nasty little spy ring

387
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:11,540
will be spending the rest
of the war behind bars.

388
00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:15,460
Let me introduce you to
Captain Rose Montgomery

389
00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:17,940
of British Military Intelligence.

390
00:20:17,980 --> 00:20:20,140
Thank you for the introduction.

391
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,420
Our side know all about you two.

392
00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:25,420
She recruited me to work for you.

393
00:20:25,460 --> 00:20:28,220
And now she's going to
tell you that this building

394
00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:30,940
is surrounded by British agents,

395
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:33,460
and that you two have been...

396
00:20:33,540 --> 00:20:35,660
What is that lovely American expression?

397
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:38,380
Played for suckers.

398
00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:40,700
- Yes, about that...
- Right. Everyone!

399
00:20:40,820 --> 00:20:42,980
Come on!

400
00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:44,460
Round them up!

401
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:48,980
Rose, where exactly are your people?

402
00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:53,460
We are all here.

403
00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:58,100
Allow me to introduce
Fräulein Greta Kleinschmidt.

404
00:20:58,180 --> 00:21:00,380
She works with us.

405
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,860
You fooled the shithead bookseller.

406
00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:04,140
Good job, darling.

407
00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:05,980
It wasn't hard, darling.

408
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:08,700
He's very gullible.

409
00:21:08,820 --> 00:21:11,780
"Played for a sucker".
I must remember that.

410
00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:15,060
I am played for a sucker,
you are played for a sucker,

411
00:21:15,140 --> 00:21:18,940
he, she, it... will
be played for a sucker.

412
00:21:18,980 --> 00:21:20,220
Now, where were we?

413
00:21:20,340 --> 00:21:23,100
Oh, yes. Killing you.

414
00:21:23,180 --> 00:21:25,140
You can't kill me.

415
00:21:25,220 --> 00:21:27,420
There'll be paperwork.

416
00:21:37,540 --> 00:21:39,780
Sorry, consecrated ground.

417
00:21:39,860 --> 00:21:42,860
Oh! It's like being at
the beach in bare feet.

418
00:21:42,940 --> 00:21:44,580
What are you doing here?

419
00:21:44,660 --> 00:21:47,300
Stopping you getting into trouble.

420
00:21:47,380 --> 00:21:49,140
I should have known. Of course.

421
00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:51,380
These people are working for you.

422
00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:55,940
No. They're a bunch of half-witted
Nazi spies running around London,

423
00:21:56,020 --> 00:21:57,380
blackmailing and murdering people.

424
00:21:57,460 --> 00:21:59,300
I just didn't want to
see you embarrassed.

425
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:02,420
Mr Anthony J. Crowley.

426
00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:03,940
Your fame precedes you.

427
00:22:04,020 --> 00:22:05,980
- Anthony?
- You don't like it?

428
00:22:06,060 --> 00:22:08,580
No, no, I didn't say
that. I'll get used to it.

429
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:10,740
The famous Mr Crowley?

430
00:22:10,820 --> 00:22:14,060
That's such a pity you must both die.

431
00:22:14,140 --> 00:22:15,980
What does the "J" stand for?

432
00:22:16,060 --> 00:22:18,540
It's just a "J", really.

433
00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:20,500
Look at that!

434
00:22:20,580 --> 00:22:22,220
A whole fontful of holy water.

435
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:23,500
It doesn't even have guards.

436
00:22:23,580 --> 00:22:25,860
Enough babbling. Kill them both.

437
00:22:25,940 --> 00:22:29,900
In about a minute, a German
bomber will release a bomb

438
00:22:29,980 --> 00:22:31,700
that will land right here.

439
00:22:31,780 --> 00:22:35,500
If you all run away very,
very fast, you might not die.

440
00:22:35,580 --> 00:22:38,580
You won't enjoy dying, definitely
won't enjoy what comes after.

441
00:22:38,660 --> 00:22:40,540
You expect us to believe that?

442
00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:43,460
The bombs tonight will
fall on the East End.

443
00:22:43,540 --> 00:22:46,620
Yes. It would take a
last-minute demonic intervention

444
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:48,580
to throw them off course, yes.

445
00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:51,660
You're all wasting your
valuable running-away time.

446
00:22:51,740 --> 00:22:54,860
And if, in 30 seconds,
a bomb does land here,

447
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:59,660
it would take a real miracle for
my friend and I to survive it.

448
00:22:59,740 --> 00:23:01,460
A real miracle?

449
00:23:01,540 --> 00:23:04,100
Kill them. They are very irritating.

450
00:23:32,980 --> 00:23:34,740
That was very kind of you.

451
00:23:35,420 --> 00:23:36,820
Shut up.

452
00:23:36,900 --> 00:23:38,780
Well, it was.

453
00:23:38,860 --> 00:23:41,260
No paperwork, for a start.

454
00:23:41,340 --> 00:23:43,140
Oh, the books.

455
00:23:43,220 --> 00:23:48,180
Oh, I forgot all the books!

456
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:51,100
Oh, they'll all be blown to...

457
00:23:52,620 --> 00:23:55,100
Little demonic miracle of my own.

458
00:23:55,180 --> 00:23:56,500
Lift home?

459
00:24:08,801 --> 00:24:10,120
_

460
00:24:13,300 --> 00:24:16,220
So, Spike, you're the muscles,

461
00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:17,900
you'll be hauling on the ropes.

462
00:24:17,980 --> 00:24:19,980
And she'll be going
down on the ropes then?

463
00:24:20,060 --> 00:24:21,500
Hang on.

464
00:24:22,820 --> 00:24:24,260
Who are you?

465
00:24:24,340 --> 00:24:26,620
I understand you need a locksman.

466
00:24:26,700 --> 00:24:30,500
I was expecting Mr Narker.

467
00:24:30,580 --> 00:24:32,940
Well, Mr Narker's
passed on to his reward.

468
00:24:33,020 --> 00:24:34,740
I've taken over the business.

469
00:24:34,820 --> 00:24:37,500
He was my cellmate. He
taught me everything he knew.

470
00:24:37,580 --> 00:24:38,820
My name's Shadwell.

471
00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:42,500
Please, sit down, Mr Shadwell.

472
00:24:42,580 --> 00:24:45,580
Lance Corporal Shadwell.

473
00:24:45,660 --> 00:24:47,380
If you don't mind.

474
00:24:47,460 --> 00:24:49,420
So, what's so valuable

475
00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:51,516
that they're going to leave
it in a church at night?

476
00:24:51,540 --> 00:24:54,180
We'll go over the details of
what you're obtaining for me

477
00:24:54,260 --> 00:24:57,460
when we get there.

478
00:24:57,540 --> 00:25:00,140
You will all be very well compensated.

479
00:25:04,780 --> 00:25:07,260
You have a question,
Lance Corporal Shadwell?

480
00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:10,660
Stealing from a church.

481
00:25:10,740 --> 00:25:16,020
There's nae witchcraft
involved here, is there?

482
00:25:16,100 --> 00:25:17,780
No.

483
00:25:17,860 --> 00:25:19,740
Completely witch-free robbery.

484
00:25:19,820 --> 00:25:21,420
Mm. Pity.

485
00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:22,860
Any other questions?

486
00:25:22,940 --> 00:25:24,660
You are not yourself a witch,

487
00:25:24,740 --> 00:25:27,700
warlock or someone that
calls your cat funny names?

488
00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:31,340
Not a witch. No pets. Anyone else?

489
00:25:31,420 --> 00:25:33,460
What are we getting paid?

490
00:25:33,540 --> 00:25:37,980
A hundred now, another
hundred when the job's done.

491
00:25:38,060 --> 00:25:40,060
A hundred more to keep schtum.

492
00:25:44,260 --> 00:25:45,740
Mr Crowley?

493
00:25:45,820 --> 00:25:48,260
May I have a moment of your time?

494
00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:53,460
Yes... Lance Corporal Shadwell.

495
00:25:53,540 --> 00:25:56,380
What are you a lance corporal in?
You don't look like an army man.

496
00:25:57,780 --> 00:26:01,060
Well, that is precisely the matter
upon which I planned to talk to you.

497
00:26:01,140 --> 00:26:03,380
You might remember earlier this evening,

498
00:26:03,460 --> 00:26:06,900
I asked a rather pointed
question about witchcraft.

499
00:26:06,980 --> 00:26:07,980
Yes.

500
00:26:07,981 --> 00:26:11,700
Well, I am a proud member
of an enormous organisation.

501
00:26:11,780 --> 00:26:14,700
Vast.

502
00:26:14,780 --> 00:26:18,140
A secret army that battles
the forces of witchery.

503
00:26:18,220 --> 00:26:19,780
How nice for you.

504
00:26:19,860 --> 00:26:23,500
The Witchfinder Army.
Perhaps you've heard of it.

505
00:26:23,580 --> 00:26:25,180
What? I thought you said it was secret.

506
00:26:25,260 --> 00:26:27,420
Well, you never know when
a gentleman such as yourself

507
00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:30,980
might have need of such an organisation.

508
00:26:31,060 --> 00:26:34,140
A man with hundreds of
pounds to throw around.

509
00:26:35,340 --> 00:26:39,140
If you need us, the Witchfinder
Army are here for you.

510
00:26:39,220 --> 00:26:40,580
A whole army?

511
00:26:41,580 --> 00:26:43,100
Think it over.

512
00:26:43,180 --> 00:26:44,580
You know where to find me.

513
00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:04,260
- What are you doing here?
- I needed a word with you.

514
00:27:04,340 --> 00:27:05,860
What?

515
00:27:05,940 --> 00:27:09,180
I work in SoHo. I hear things.

516
00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:13,380
I hear that you're setting up a... caper

517
00:27:13,460 --> 00:27:15,660
to rob a church.

518
00:27:15,740 --> 00:27:17,380
Crowley, it's too dangerous.

519
00:27:17,460 --> 00:27:19,300
Holy water won't just kill your body.

520
00:27:19,380 --> 00:27:21,500
It will destroy you completely.

521
00:27:21,580 --> 00:27:24,940
You told me what you
think 105 years ago.

522
00:27:25,020 --> 00:27:27,380
And I haven't changed my mind.

523
00:27:27,460 --> 00:27:29,740
But I can't have you risking your life.

524
00:27:31,180 --> 00:27:32,740
Not even for something dangerous.

525
00:27:33,740 --> 00:27:35,100
So...

526
00:27:37,620 --> 00:27:39,260
you can call off the robbery.

527
00:27:40,820 --> 00:27:42,420
Don't go unscrewing the cap.

528
00:27:48,940 --> 00:27:49,940
It's the real thing?

529
00:27:49,980 --> 00:27:51,220
The holiest.

530
00:27:53,940 --> 00:27:55,220
After everything you said.

531
00:28:01,340 --> 00:28:03,180
Should I say thank you?

532
00:28:04,300 --> 00:28:05,460
Better not.

533
00:28:07,380 --> 00:28:09,740
Well, can I drop you anywhere?

534
00:28:09,820 --> 00:28:12,260
No, thank you.

535
00:28:12,340 --> 00:28:13,980
Oh, don't look so disappointed.

536
00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:15,660
Perhaps one day we could...

537
00:28:15,740 --> 00:28:17,180
I don't know.

538
00:28:17,260 --> 00:28:19,260
Go for a picnic.

539
00:28:19,340 --> 00:28:21,140
Dine at the Ritz.

540
00:28:21,220 --> 00:28:23,900
I'll give you a lift.
Anywhere you want to go.

541
00:28:25,340 --> 00:28:27,620
You go too fast for me, Crowley.

542
00:30:14,100 --> 00:30:16,420
Sorry. Right number.

543
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,297
_

544
00:30:18,300 --> 00:30:21,500
I'll just go to head
office and explain it all.

545
00:30:21,580 --> 00:30:24,060
Yes. So, Gabriel, um...

546
00:30:24,140 --> 00:30:25,380
Listen, Gabriel,

547
00:30:25,460 --> 00:30:27,620
- most holy Archangel Gabr...
- _

548
00:30:27,700 --> 00:30:29,380
No, that's too formal.

549
00:30:29,460 --> 00:30:31,500
Hello, Gabriel, me old mate.

550
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:34,860
There is a... a... a
child we have to deal with

551
00:30:34,940 --> 00:30:38,460
and... and make everything OK again.

552
00:30:38,540 --> 00:30:39,940
Oh, God.

553
00:30:43,220 --> 00:30:44,460
Hello, Gabriel.

554
00:30:44,540 --> 00:30:46,180
Just thought you ought to know

555
00:30:46,260 --> 00:30:48,780
that due to an unfortunate
mix-up in a hospital,

556
00:30:48,860 --> 00:30:51,260
the Antichrist has been mislaid.

557
00:30:51,340 --> 00:30:53,820
But it's alright,
because I've found him.

558
00:30:53,900 --> 00:30:57,020
He's living in the English
village of Tadfield.

559
00:30:57,100 --> 00:31:00,580
And his 11th birthday
was the start of...

560
00:31:00,660 --> 00:31:02,580
uh, the end of things.

561
00:31:02,660 --> 00:31:06,820
I have his address, and so we
just have to eliminate him now,

562
00:31:06,900 --> 00:31:10,220
then everything could still be OK, yeah.

563
00:31:10,300 --> 00:31:12,660
He'll have an enormous
Hell Hound with him.

564
00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:14,220
He won't be hard to spot.

565
00:31:16,060 --> 00:31:19,460
This wasn't, insofar as the Hell Hound

566
00:31:19,540 --> 00:31:21,700
had had any expectations,

567
00:31:21,780 --> 00:31:23,945
what he had imagined life would be like

568
00:31:23,946 --> 00:31:25,420
in the last days before Armageddon.

569
00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:28,500
Form shapes nature.

570
00:31:28,580 --> 00:31:31,220
There are certain ways of
behaviour appropriate to small dogs,

571
00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:34,620
which are in fact welded into the genes.

572
00:31:34,700 --> 00:31:37,700
He'd surprised the huge
ginger cat from next door,

573
00:31:37,780 --> 00:31:39,660
and had attempted to
reduce it to cowering jelly

574
00:31:39,740 --> 00:31:42,020
by means of the usual glowing stare.

575
00:31:43,540 --> 00:31:46,020
It had always worked in the past.

576
00:31:46,100 --> 00:31:48,420
Dog was looking forward to
a further cat experiment,

577
00:31:48,500 --> 00:31:52,340
which would consist of jumping
around and yapping excitedly at it.

578
00:31:52,420 --> 00:31:53,876
I can't believe it! I can't believe it!

579
00:31:55,460 --> 00:31:58,020
Three hundred and fifty
years my family kept it safe.

580
00:31:58,100 --> 00:32:00,940
Three hundred and fifty years!

581
00:32:01,020 --> 00:32:04,060
So stupid!

582
00:32:05,020 --> 00:32:06,100
Come on, Dog.

583
00:32:09,420 --> 00:32:13,300
Hello, are you OK? Can I help?

584
00:32:13,380 --> 00:32:14,420
I'm fine.

585
00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:16,300
But you were crying.

586
00:32:16,380 --> 00:32:17,540
I know.

587
00:32:26,540 --> 00:32:28,020
Hello.

588
00:32:32,460 --> 00:32:34,060
This is going to sound so stupid,

589
00:32:34,140 --> 00:32:38,460
but I lost my book and it
all just got a bit much.

590
00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:40,220
I can help you look for it.

591
00:32:40,300 --> 00:32:43,300
Oh, that's sweet of you. It's
been in my family for a long time.

592
00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:44,900
I wrote a book once.

593
00:32:44,980 --> 00:32:47,420
It was about this pirate
who was a famous detective.

594
00:32:47,500 --> 00:32:49,820
I bet it was a lot more exciting
than any book you've lost.

595
00:32:49,860 --> 00:32:52,380
Especially the bit in the spaceship
where the dinosaur comes out

596
00:32:52,460 --> 00:32:53,620
and fights with the cowboys.

597
00:32:53,700 --> 00:32:55,260
I bet it'd cheer you up, my book.

598
00:32:55,340 --> 00:32:57,380
I'm Adam. I live in Hogback Lane.

599
00:32:57,460 --> 00:32:58,860
Thanks, Adam.

600
00:33:00,700 --> 00:33:02,580
Oh, I'm Anathema.

601
00:33:04,540 --> 00:33:05,660
Are you from around here?

602
00:33:05,740 --> 00:33:07,020
This is my world.

603
00:33:07,100 --> 00:33:11,140
From Hogback Wood to the Dip, and
from the old quarry up to the pond.

604
00:33:11,220 --> 00:33:13,556
You haven't seen two men in a
big black vintage car, have you?

605
00:33:13,580 --> 00:33:14,900
Did they steal it?

606
00:33:14,980 --> 00:33:16,804
Professional book
thieves, probably go around

607
00:33:16,805 --> 00:33:17,900
in their car stealing books.

608
00:33:17,980 --> 00:33:20,180
No, no, no, they
didn't mean to steal it.

609
00:33:20,260 --> 00:33:22,380
Do you want some lemonade?

610
00:33:22,460 --> 00:33:23,903
Are we going to have to
break into the cottage

611
00:33:23,904 --> 00:33:25,500
and battle the witch for it?

612
00:33:25,580 --> 00:33:26,940
That's my cottage.

613
00:33:27,020 --> 00:33:28,220
I'm renting it.

614
00:33:28,300 --> 00:33:31,940
Look, excuse me for asking, if
it's not a personal question,

615
00:33:32,020 --> 00:33:34,180
but are you a witch?

616
00:33:34,260 --> 00:33:37,500
No, I'm an occultist.

617
00:33:37,580 --> 00:33:39,580
Oh, well, that's alright, then.

618
00:33:46,340 --> 00:33:47,740
Come on, you silly dog.

619
00:33:47,820 --> 00:33:49,740
There had been a horseshoe over the door

620
00:33:49,820 --> 00:33:51,980
of Jasmine Cottage
for hundreds of years.

621
00:33:52,060 --> 00:33:55,380
It protected the inhabitants
from evil, or so they believed.

622
00:33:55,460 --> 00:33:56,940
You can just leave him in the garden.

623
00:33:56,980 --> 00:33:59,260
No. He has to do everything he's told.

624
00:33:59,340 --> 00:34:01,356
My father says I can only keep
him if he's properly trained.

625
00:34:02,620 --> 00:34:06,820
Now, Dog, go inside.

626
00:34:06,900 --> 00:34:08,780
Good boy. It wasn't that hard, was it?

627
00:34:08,860 --> 00:34:11,116
The Hell Hound entered the cottage

628
00:34:11,117 --> 00:34:13,860
and a little bit more
of Hell burned away.

629
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,060
_

630
00:34:45,061 --> 00:34:47,959
_

631
00:34:56,060 --> 00:34:57,860
Strictly speaking,

632
00:34:57,940 --> 00:35:00,340
Shadwell doesn't run
the Witchfinder Army.

633
00:35:00,420 --> 00:35:02,580
According to Shadwell's pay ledgers,

634
00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:05,460
it is run by Witchfinder General Smith.

635
00:35:05,540 --> 00:35:09,380
Under him are Witchfinder
Colonels Green and Jones,

636
00:35:09,460 --> 00:35:12,100
and Witchfinder Majors
Jackson, Robinson and Smith.

637
00:35:12,220 --> 00:35:15,460
Then there are Witchfinder
Majors Saucepan,

638
00:35:15,540 --> 00:35:17,180
Tin,

639
00:35:17,260 --> 00:35:18,980
Milkbottle, deceased,

640
00:35:19,060 --> 00:35:20,900
and Cupboard,

641
00:35:20,980 --> 00:35:23,340
because Shadwell's limited imagination

642
00:35:23,420 --> 00:35:26,980
had been beginning to
struggle at this point.

643
00:35:39,100 --> 00:35:40,180
Sergeant Shadwell.

644
00:35:40,260 --> 00:35:41,780
Mr Crowley.

645
00:35:41,860 --> 00:35:43,300
You're looking well.

646
00:35:43,380 --> 00:35:44,700
Clean living.

647
00:35:44,780 --> 00:35:47,820
And your father, how is he?

648
00:35:47,900 --> 00:35:49,940
You resemble him very much, you know.

649
00:35:50,020 --> 00:35:52,700
So they tell me. Yeah, he's well.

650
00:35:52,780 --> 00:35:55,420
I've prepared the ledger.

651
00:35:55,500 --> 00:35:58,100
The men need paying, Your Honour.

652
00:35:58,220 --> 00:36:02,860
It's hard times for Witchfinders
in today's degenerate age.

653
00:36:02,940 --> 00:36:04,860
That won't be necessary.

654
00:36:04,940 --> 00:36:06,660
Two hundred and fifty pounds.

655
00:36:06,740 --> 00:36:08,860
I'll drop the money
off for you on Saturday.

656
00:36:08,940 --> 00:36:11,860
Only in cash, in an envelope.

657
00:36:11,940 --> 00:36:13,420
Don't take plastic.

658
00:36:13,500 --> 00:36:14,820
You astonish me.

659
00:36:16,460 --> 00:36:17,940
So...

660
00:36:18,020 --> 00:36:20,860
There's a village called
Tadfield, in Oxfordshire.

661
00:36:20,940 --> 00:36:22,340
Send your best people down there.

662
00:36:22,420 --> 00:36:24,860
I'm looking for a boy. He's about 11.

663
00:36:24,940 --> 00:36:26,420
I don't have anything more than that.

664
00:36:26,460 --> 00:36:30,180
But look for anything... strange.

665
00:36:31,500 --> 00:36:33,660
This, uh, boy...

666
00:36:34,540 --> 00:36:35,820
he's a witch?

667
00:36:35,900 --> 00:36:37,340
Possibly.

668
00:36:37,420 --> 00:36:39,460
We'll have to find him first, won't we?

669
00:36:39,540 --> 00:36:41,020
Aye.

670
00:36:41,060 --> 00:36:42,540
Well, my best operative,

671
00:36:42,580 --> 00:36:46,180
that would be Witchfinder
Lieutenant Table.

672
00:36:46,260 --> 00:36:47,860
Call me if you find anything.

673
00:36:47,940 --> 00:36:49,740
Witchfinder Sergeant Pepper.

674
00:36:49,820 --> 00:36:52,900
All my family have had occult
powers, going all the way back.

675
00:36:52,980 --> 00:36:55,060
We can find ley lines.

676
00:36:55,100 --> 00:36:57,100
Right. What's ley lines?

677
00:36:57,220 --> 00:37:00,940
Invisible lines of force
linking places of power.

678
00:37:01,020 --> 00:37:03,460
Amazing there being all these
invisible lines of force around

679
00:37:03,540 --> 00:37:04,740
and me not seeing them.

680
00:37:04,820 --> 00:37:06,020
We can see auras.

681
00:37:06,060 --> 00:37:07,860
And they are?

682
00:37:07,940 --> 00:37:10,740
This coloured forcefield
surrounding someone.

683
00:37:10,820 --> 00:37:12,180
Everyone's got one.

684
00:37:12,260 --> 00:37:14,460
And I can look at its
strengths and colour

685
00:37:14,540 --> 00:37:16,540
and tell you how you're feeling.

686
00:37:16,580 --> 00:37:19,100
That's brilliant. Why don't they
teach us about them at school?

687
00:37:19,220 --> 00:37:21,540
Because school is a
repressive tool of the state.

688
00:37:21,580 --> 00:37:23,540
So, what colour's my aura then?

689
00:37:29,180 --> 00:37:31,980
Adam, I can't see your aura.

690
00:37:32,060 --> 00:37:33,380
You said everybody's got one.

691
00:37:33,460 --> 00:37:34,700
I don't know, hon.

692
00:37:34,780 --> 00:37:37,020
It's an art, not a science.

693
00:37:37,060 --> 00:37:38,756
So, what else don't
they teach us at school?

694
00:37:38,780 --> 00:37:39,900
They're clubbing baby seals.

695
00:37:39,980 --> 00:37:42,556
They're cutting down the rain forest
so you can get a cheap hamburger.

696
00:37:42,580 --> 00:37:44,180
Watch out for genetically modified food.

697
00:37:44,220 --> 00:37:45,900
Don't get me started on global warming.

698
00:37:45,980 --> 00:37:48,460
And that's because
whales have huge brains,

699
00:37:48,540 --> 00:37:50,036
and they're hunting them for no reason.

700
00:37:50,060 --> 00:37:51,260
Nuclear power stations.

701
00:37:51,340 --> 00:37:52,780
Nuclear power stations are rubbish.

702
00:37:52,860 --> 00:37:54,580
Yes! Yes, they are.

703
00:37:54,700 --> 00:37:57,500
We went to one on a school trip,
and there was nothing bubbling,

704
00:37:57,540 --> 00:37:58,606
and there wasn't any green smoke,

705
00:37:58,607 --> 00:38:00,356
and there weren't anyone
in those space suits.

706
00:38:00,380 --> 00:38:01,380
And it was so dull.

707
00:38:01,460 --> 00:38:04,820
Well, yes, but we need
to get rid of them.

708
00:38:04,900 --> 00:38:06,380
Serves them right for not bubbling.

709
00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:11,020
Adam, I have to get back to work.

710
00:38:11,060 --> 00:38:14,580
But if you're interested
in any of this stuff,

711
00:38:14,700 --> 00:38:16,580
I have some old magazines here.

712
00:38:16,700 --> 00:38:18,860
You don't have to read
them if you don't want.

713
00:38:20,580 --> 00:38:22,060
Wicked.

714
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,280
_

715
00:38:24,321 --> 00:38:26,800
_

716
00:38:26,961 --> 00:38:28,879
_

717
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,980
It might have helped Anathema
to understand what was going on,

718
00:38:33,700 --> 00:38:35,525
if she understood the very simple reason

719
00:38:35,526 --> 00:38:37,420
why she couldn't see Adam's aura.

720
00:38:37,500 --> 00:38:40,780
It's for the same reason
that people in Times Square

721
00:38:40,860 --> 00:38:42,340
can't see America.

722
00:38:48,820 --> 00:38:50,740
So, Aziraphale...

723
00:38:51,780 --> 00:38:52,940
got your message.

724
00:38:53,020 --> 00:38:55,420
Have you got something big?

725
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:56,860
Lay it on us.

726
00:38:56,940 --> 00:38:58,540
I'm sorry?

727
00:38:58,660 --> 00:39:00,780
What's happening?

728
00:39:02,020 --> 00:39:04,860
OK, ahem, so...

729
00:39:04,940 --> 00:39:06,300
Well, ahem...

730
00:39:08,100 --> 00:39:09,860
It's... It's about the Antichrist.

731
00:39:09,940 --> 00:39:11,260
Yes?

732
00:39:11,340 --> 00:39:13,460
I think that, um...

733
00:39:14,740 --> 00:39:17,420
Well, it's not impossible,

734
00:39:17,500 --> 00:39:19,260
uh, considering all...

735
00:39:19,340 --> 00:39:21,220
all the alternatives that the...

736
00:39:21,300 --> 00:39:24,700
the other side,

737
00:39:24,780 --> 00:39:26,660
might have lost track of him.

738
00:39:29,220 --> 00:39:31,020
The "other side"?

739
00:39:33,820 --> 00:39:35,060
Lost track of him?

740
00:39:35,180 --> 00:39:38,580
He's the son of the U.S. ambassador.
He's under constant surveillance.

741
00:39:38,700 --> 00:39:43,060
The other side are currently
transporting him to the plains of Megiddo.

742
00:39:43,100 --> 00:39:44,836
Apparently, that's the
traditional starting point.

743
00:39:44,860 --> 00:39:47,300
Middle Eastern unrest.
Everything else just follows.

744
00:39:47,380 --> 00:39:49,660
The Four Horsemen ride out.

745
00:39:49,740 --> 00:39:51,980
Last great battle
between Heaven and Hell.

746
00:39:52,060 --> 00:39:54,100
Yes. Well, um...

747
00:39:54,220 --> 00:39:58,340
it's possible that the demon, Crowley,

748
00:39:58,420 --> 00:40:00,860
a... a... a wily adversary...

749
00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:04,500
Keeps me on my toes, I can tell you.

750
00:40:06,220 --> 00:40:12,180
But the, um, ambassador's,
uh, son, uh...

751
00:40:12,260 --> 00:40:14,980
- Well, it may have been a ruse.
- A ruse?

752
00:40:15,060 --> 00:40:19,700
And the actual
Antichrist might be, um...

753
00:40:21,540 --> 00:40:23,020
somewhere else.

754
00:40:27,260 --> 00:40:28,500
Where?

755
00:40:31,100 --> 00:40:32,900
Not sure.

756
00:40:32,980 --> 00:40:34,580
I mean, I... I... I could find out.

757
00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:39,740
I have a team of... agents.

758
00:40:39,820 --> 00:40:41,860
A dedicated team who...

759
00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:44,580
who would investigate the possibility.

760
00:40:44,700 --> 00:40:46,180
Um...

761
00:40:46,260 --> 00:40:48,300
hypothetically speaking,

762
00:40:48,380 --> 00:40:49,740
if that were the case...

763
00:40:49,820 --> 00:40:51,940
It wouldn't change anything, Aziraphale.

764
00:40:52,020 --> 00:40:53,540
There was war in Heaven

765
00:40:53,660 --> 00:40:57,060
long before the Earth was created.

766
00:40:57,100 --> 00:40:58,491
Crowley and the rest were cast out,

767
00:40:58,492 --> 00:41:00,700
but nothing was ever really settled.

768
00:41:00,780 --> 00:41:02,420
I suppose it wasn't.

769
00:41:04,260 --> 00:41:08,060
But there doesn't have to
be another war, does there?

770
00:41:08,180 --> 00:41:11,300
As much as we appreciate your
hypotheticals, Aziraphale,

771
00:41:11,380 --> 00:41:13,980
I'm afraid we have other things to do.

772
00:41:16,700 --> 00:41:19,580
The Earth isn't going to
just end itself, you know.

773
00:41:20,700 --> 00:41:23,060
No. Yes. Right.

774
00:41:46,540 --> 00:41:47,820
Hello.

775
00:41:59,500 --> 00:42:00,500
Hello.

776
00:42:17,260 --> 00:42:19,100
R.P. Tyler.

777
00:42:19,220 --> 00:42:20,580
Neighbourhood watch.

778
00:42:20,700 --> 00:42:24,220
I couldn't help but notice,
young person, that you have a map.

779
00:42:24,900 --> 00:42:26,500
Casing the joint, are we?

780
00:42:26,540 --> 00:42:28,420
I'm... I'm renting Jasmine Cottage.

781
00:42:28,500 --> 00:42:31,420
Oh, good Lord, you're
an American tourist.

782
00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:34,820
Sorry. Thought you were
a person of interest.

783
00:42:34,900 --> 00:42:36,420
Oh, I... I am.

784
00:42:36,500 --> 00:42:39,580
Listen, 11 years ago,
something came to this village.

785
00:42:39,700 --> 00:42:42,780
Some sort of beast or creature.

786
00:42:42,860 --> 00:42:46,660
And if you're neighbourhood
watch, maybe you noticed.

787
00:42:47,220 --> 00:42:49,540
Tadfield is a perfectly
respectable village.

788
00:42:49,580 --> 00:42:52,580
If you're coming here to
smoke your fatty spliffers

789
00:42:52,700 --> 00:42:54,540
and bimble off to woo-woo land,

790
00:42:54,580 --> 00:42:57,660
then I suggest that you go elsewhere.

791
00:42:57,740 --> 00:42:59,340
Like back to America.

792
00:43:03,940 --> 00:43:06,580
"Fatty spliffers"?

793
00:43:13,940 --> 00:43:15,580
What did you think of that, then?

794
00:43:15,700 --> 00:43:17,860
That's an angel who's
been down there too long.

795
00:43:17,940 --> 00:43:20,580
I don't trust him.

796
00:43:20,700 --> 00:43:23,020
Hypotheticals, indeed.

797
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:36,590
_

798
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:38,719
_

799
00:43:41,100 --> 00:43:43,300
Hello.

800
00:43:43,380 --> 00:43:45,436
Witchfinder Sgt Shadwell please.

801
00:43:45,460 --> 00:43:48,980
Or, um, one of his officers.

802
00:43:49,060 --> 00:43:51,740
I shall endeavour to
see if he is available.

803
00:43:51,820 --> 00:43:53,100
Hold on.

804
00:43:58,820 --> 00:44:00,540
Coo-ee, Mr Shadwell.

805
00:44:01,700 --> 00:44:02,820
Oh, hello, dear.

806
00:44:02,900 --> 00:44:04,420
Hello, Madame Tracy.

807
00:44:05,380 --> 00:44:08,540
Away with you, harlot.

808
00:44:08,620 --> 00:44:10,740
There's a gentleman on
the telephone for you.

809
00:44:10,820 --> 00:44:13,060
Sounds ever so refined.

810
00:44:13,140 --> 00:44:15,820
And I'll be getting a nice
bit of liver for us for Sunday.

811
00:44:15,900 --> 00:44:17,260
I'd sooner sup with the devil.

812
00:44:22,780 --> 00:44:25,540
So if you could just give me
the plates back from last week.

813
00:44:25,620 --> 00:44:26,900
There's a love.

814
00:44:28,260 --> 00:44:29,500
Aye?

815
00:44:29,580 --> 00:44:31,020
Sergeant Shadwell.

816
00:44:31,100 --> 00:44:33,220
- It's you-know-who.
- Who?

817
00:44:34,220 --> 00:44:36,860
Me. Your, um, sponsor.

818
00:44:36,940 --> 00:44:40,140
Listen, do you have any men free?

819
00:44:40,220 --> 00:44:42,460
I need them to poke about a bit.

820
00:44:42,540 --> 00:44:43,780
Poke?

821
00:44:43,860 --> 00:44:45,660
Where exactly do you want them poking?

822
00:44:45,740 --> 00:44:46,900
Tadfield.

823
00:44:46,980 --> 00:44:48,620
It's a small town in Oxfordshire.

824
00:44:48,700 --> 00:44:50,620
There's a boy I need
placed under observation.

825
00:44:50,700 --> 00:44:53,060
I... I need to know
where he is at all times.

826
00:44:53,140 --> 00:44:54,980
I can give you his address.

827
00:44:55,060 --> 00:44:57,020
I'll put a squad of my best men onto it.

828
00:44:57,100 --> 00:44:59,300
Oh, good. Thank you so much.

829
00:44:59,380 --> 00:45:00,350
Oh, and I should have asked about

830
00:45:00,351 --> 00:45:01,996
Witchfinder Major Milkbottle.

831
00:45:02,020 --> 00:45:05,660
I was so sorry to hear of his
untimely end. I sent flowers.

832
00:45:06,740 --> 00:45:08,842
Aye, the flowers were appreciated.

833
00:45:08,843 --> 00:45:11,460
And so was the extra
£20 for the family.

834
00:45:11,540 --> 00:45:13,700
He was a brave man.

835
00:45:13,780 --> 00:45:17,020
Oh, I was flabbergasted
when you told me how he died.

836
00:45:17,100 --> 00:45:18,620
Aye. A brave man.

837
00:45:18,700 --> 00:45:21,700
I'll be by the bookstore, um, next week

838
00:45:21,780 --> 00:45:24,020
to pick up your annual dues.

839
00:45:24,100 --> 00:45:25,636
Squad of best men to
Tadfield, dear fellow.

840
00:45:25,660 --> 00:45:28,540
And keep them there until
I give you more orders.

841
00:45:28,620 --> 00:45:30,420
Now, the boy is called...

842
00:45:30,500 --> 00:45:32,460
Adam Young.

843
00:45:32,540 --> 00:45:37,420
And his address is number
four, Hogback Lane, Tadfield.

844
00:45:37,500 --> 00:45:38,820
Have you got it?

845
00:45:38,900 --> 00:45:40,276
Absolutely, Your Honour.

846
00:45:40,300 --> 00:45:42,740
- Tadfield it is.
- Right. Pip-pip.

847
00:45:42,820 --> 00:45:45,140
And let me know when
your men are in position.

848
00:45:47,100 --> 00:45:48,300
Pip-pip.

849
00:45:48,380 --> 00:45:49,820
Great southern pansy.

850
00:45:53,540 --> 00:45:57,540
Find any witches yet,
Witchfinder Private Pulsifer?

851
00:45:57,620 --> 00:45:59,180
Even better than that.

852
00:45:59,260 --> 00:46:01,180
I found something really interesting.

853
00:46:01,260 --> 00:46:02,740
Hmm.

854
00:46:02,820 --> 00:46:04,516
I've discovered some
unusual weather patterns.

855
00:46:04,540 --> 00:46:08,060
There's a town in Oxfordshire with
some very strange weather events.

856
00:46:08,140 --> 00:46:11,060
Oh? Raining blood? Or raining fish?

857
00:46:11,140 --> 00:46:14,020
Satanic frost in summer
withering the crops

858
00:46:14,100 --> 00:46:16,780
after some hag got into
an argument with a farmer?

859
00:46:16,860 --> 00:46:19,820
No. It's just...

860
00:46:19,900 --> 00:46:24,220
it always has perfect
weather for the time of year.

861
00:46:24,300 --> 00:46:27,220
You call that a phenomenon?

862
00:46:27,300 --> 00:46:29,156
Normal weather for the
time of year isn't normal.

863
00:46:29,180 --> 00:46:31,860
Crisp autumns, long, hot Augusts.

864
00:46:31,940 --> 00:46:34,060
The kind of weather you
used to dream of as a kid.

865
00:46:34,140 --> 00:46:37,060
It's snowed there every Christmas
Eve for the last 11 years.

866
00:46:37,140 --> 00:46:38,740
Not interested.

867
00:46:38,820 --> 00:46:42,060
Just look for witches and
witch-caused phenomenon-enoms.

868
00:46:44,140 --> 00:46:47,700
He called himself "Dr Raven Sable",

869
00:46:47,780 --> 00:46:50,300
but you know him by another name.

870
00:46:50,380 --> 00:46:52,820
- _
- He loves hunger.

871
00:46:52,900 --> 00:46:55,860
He loves people not eating
enough in fancy restaurants.

872
00:46:55,940 --> 00:46:57,700
Your main course, madam.

873
00:46:57,780 --> 00:47:02,060
Chicken froth on a reduction of
broccoli gel with a mushroom foam.

874
00:47:02,140 --> 00:47:04,300
And the chef recommends
that you have this first.

875
00:47:04,380 --> 00:47:07,020
A balloon filled with
lavender-scented air.

876
00:47:07,100 --> 00:47:09,020
It is the first course.

877
00:47:10,820 --> 00:47:12,500
It just occurred to me.

878
00:47:12,580 --> 00:47:15,820
I've never seen a room full of
rich people so hungry before.

879
00:47:15,900 --> 00:47:18,820
He's a businessman with
a chain of restaurants.

880
00:47:18,900 --> 00:47:23,380
And he's about to launch something
new. Chow: food-free food.

881
00:47:23,740 --> 00:47:25,000
_

882
00:47:26,740 --> 00:47:28,820
Artificial bun. Artificial burger.

883
00:47:28,900 --> 00:47:31,220
Fries that have never seen a potato.

884
00:47:31,300 --> 00:47:32,660
Foodless sauces.

885
00:47:32,740 --> 00:47:35,500
And... we're rather proud of this:

886
00:47:35,580 --> 00:47:39,180
a completely artificial dill pickle.

887
00:47:39,260 --> 00:47:41,900
The shake doesn't contain any
actual food content either.

888
00:47:41,980 --> 00:47:45,100
Well, nobody's shakes contain
any actual food content.

889
00:47:45,180 --> 00:47:46,980
OK, let's try it out.

890
00:47:52,100 --> 00:47:54,180
Press this button when
you hand over the Chow.

891
00:47:54,260 --> 00:47:57,380
And don't call it "food". It's Chow.

892
00:47:59,740 --> 00:48:01,396
Chow-brand unfood contains spun,

893
00:48:01,420 --> 00:48:02,676
plaited and woven protein molecules

894
00:48:02,700 --> 00:48:04,236
designed to be ignored
by your digestive enzymes,

895
00:48:04,260 --> 00:48:05,916
no-cal sweeteners, oil
replacements, fibrous materials,

896
00:48:05,940 --> 00:48:07,556
colourings and flavourings.
Chow is an edible substance

897
00:48:07,580 --> 00:48:08,916
and must not be confused with food.

898
00:48:08,940 --> 00:48:11,116
Eating Chow can help you to lose
weight, hair and kidney functions.

899
00:48:11,140 --> 00:48:12,676
May cause anal leakage. Enjoy your meal.

900
00:48:12,700 --> 00:48:14,780
Party, name of Sable?

901
00:48:14,860 --> 00:48:16,500
I thought it was you.

902
00:48:16,580 --> 00:48:19,580
I looked around, I thought, "Tall
gent with a beard, nice suit."

903
00:48:19,660 --> 00:48:20,777
There's a package for you, sir.

904
00:48:20,778 --> 00:48:22,700
You have to sign for it.

905
00:48:35,820 --> 00:48:37,740
The measuring scales.

906
00:48:37,780 --> 00:48:39,500
Finally.

907
00:48:39,580 --> 00:48:41,060
I'm flying to England.

908
00:48:41,140 --> 00:48:43,180
I'll let the jet know.
When are you returning?

909
00:48:43,260 --> 00:48:45,340
Who knows?

910
00:48:45,420 --> 00:48:46,620
Cancel all my appointments.

911
00:48:46,700 --> 00:48:47,980
For how long?

912
00:48:48,060 --> 00:48:49,860
The foreseeable future.

913
00:49:04,820 --> 00:49:08,180
Sergeant Shadwell, you know the
village I was telling you about

914
00:49:08,260 --> 00:49:09,860
with the perfect weather?

915
00:49:11,140 --> 00:49:13,020
Well, according to the manual,

916
00:49:13,100 --> 00:49:15,660
witches can influence the weather.

917
00:49:15,740 --> 00:49:18,340
What if I was to sort of
nip over there tomorrow,

918
00:49:18,420 --> 00:49:19,900
have a little look round?

919
00:49:19,980 --> 00:49:21,660
I could pay for my own petrol.

920
00:49:21,740 --> 00:49:25,460
This village, it wouldn't
be called Tadfield, would it?

921
00:49:26,340 --> 00:49:27,340
How did you know that?

922
00:49:27,420 --> 00:49:29,700
Aye.

923
00:49:29,780 --> 00:49:31,420
Well, I suppose it can't do any harm.

924
00:49:31,500 --> 00:49:35,100
Be here at 9:00 in the
morning, afore you leave.

925
00:49:35,180 --> 00:49:37,980
What for?

926
00:49:38,060 --> 00:49:40,180
Your armour of righteousness.

927
00:49:43,580 --> 00:49:45,020
It's me.

928
00:49:45,100 --> 00:49:46,940
Meet me at the third
alternative rendezvous.

929
00:49:47,020 --> 00:49:49,566
Is that the old bandstand,
the number 19 bus,

930
00:49:49,567 --> 00:49:50,940
or the British Museum café?

931
00:49:51,020 --> 00:49:53,740
The bandstand. I'll
be there in 15 minutes.

932
00:49:56,020 --> 00:49:58,780
Dad, did you know that there
are ley lines everywhere?

933
00:49:58,860 --> 00:50:01,420
No, Adam. Ley lines are rubbish.

934
00:50:01,500 --> 00:50:03,500
Oh, you'll like this bit, Deirdre.

935
00:50:03,580 --> 00:50:06,420
They've taped the gun under the chair.

936
00:50:06,500 --> 00:50:08,180
It's not rubbish.

937
00:50:08,260 --> 00:50:11,140
They wouldn't write about it
in magazines if it was rubbish.

938
00:50:14,620 --> 00:50:16,556
There's people from Tibet
watching everything we do

939
00:50:16,580 --> 00:50:18,100
through hidden tunnels.

940
00:50:22,740 --> 00:50:24,420
I think I might go to
bed early, actually.

941
00:50:32,380 --> 00:50:33,860
Do you think he's alright?

942
00:50:33,940 --> 00:50:35,420
He's fine.

943
00:50:49,900 --> 00:50:51,220
Well?

944
00:50:54,020 --> 00:50:56,020
- Any news?
- Um...

945
00:50:56,100 --> 00:50:58,060
What... what kind of news would that be?

946
00:50:58,140 --> 00:51:00,140
Well, have you found the
missing Antichrist's name,

947
00:51:00,180 --> 00:51:01,940
address and shoe size yet?

948
00:51:02,020 --> 00:51:04,580
His shoe size? Why... Why
would I have his shoe size?

949
00:51:04,660 --> 00:51:07,460
It's a joke. I've got nothing either.

950
00:51:07,540 --> 00:51:09,860
It's the Great Plan, Crowley.

951
00:51:09,940 --> 00:51:11,380
Yeah. For the record,

952
00:51:11,460 --> 00:51:14,980
great pustulent mangled bollocks

953
00:51:15,060 --> 00:51:18,140
to the Great blasted Plan!

954
00:51:18,220 --> 00:51:19,620
May you be forgiven.

955
00:51:20,540 --> 00:51:22,220
I won't be forgiven.

956
00:51:22,300 --> 00:51:23,900
Not ever.

957
00:51:23,980 --> 00:51:25,740
That's part of a
demon's job description.

958
00:51:25,820 --> 00:51:28,100
Unforgiveable. That's what I am.

959
00:51:28,180 --> 00:51:29,780
You were an angel once.

960
00:51:29,860 --> 00:51:31,340
That was a long time ago.

961
00:51:34,100 --> 00:51:36,180
We find the boy. My agents can do it.

962
00:51:36,260 --> 00:51:37,420
And then what?

963
00:51:37,500 --> 00:51:40,020
We eliminate him?

964
00:51:40,100 --> 00:51:42,420
Someone does. I'm not
personally up for killing kids.

965
00:51:42,500 --> 00:51:45,076
You're the demon. I'm the nice
one. I don't have to kill children.

966
00:51:45,100 --> 00:51:46,420
- Uh-uh-uh...
- If you kill him,

967
00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:47,780
then the world gets a reprieve

968
00:51:47,860 --> 00:51:49,940
and Heaven does not
have blood on its hands.

969
00:51:50,020 --> 00:51:51,500
Oh, no blood on your hands?

970
00:51:51,580 --> 00:51:53,340
That's a bit holier-than-thou, isn't it?

971
00:51:53,420 --> 00:51:55,516
I am a great deal holier than
thou. That's the whole point.

972
00:51:55,540 --> 00:51:57,300
You should kill the boy yourself.

973
00:51:57,380 --> 00:51:58,580
Holi-ly.

974
00:51:58,660 --> 00:52:02,260
I am not killing anybody.

975
00:52:04,340 --> 00:52:06,140
This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous.

976
00:52:06,220 --> 00:52:08,036
I don't even know why
I'm still talking to you.

977
00:52:08,060 --> 00:52:09,676
- Well, frankly, neither do I.
- Enough, I'm leaving.

978
00:52:09,700 --> 00:52:11,020
You can't leave, Crowley.

979
00:52:11,100 --> 00:52:12,260
There isn't anywhere to go.

980
00:52:12,340 --> 00:52:15,260
It's a big universe.

981
00:52:15,340 --> 00:52:17,460
Even if this all ends up
in a puddle of burning goo,

982
00:52:17,540 --> 00:52:18,780
we can go off together.

983
00:52:20,900 --> 00:52:22,540
Go off together?

984
00:52:23,900 --> 00:52:25,700
Listen to yourself.

985
00:52:25,780 --> 00:52:27,660
How long have we been friends?

986
00:52:27,740 --> 00:52:29,140
Six thousand years!

987
00:52:29,220 --> 00:52:30,820
Friends? We're not friends.

988
00:52:30,900 --> 00:52:34,620
We are an angel and a demon.

989
00:52:34,700 --> 00:52:36,380
We have nothing whatsoever in common.

990
00:52:36,460 --> 00:52:38,820
- I don't even like you.
- You do.

991
00:52:38,900 --> 00:52:40,780
Even if I did know
where the Antichrist was,

992
00:52:40,860 --> 00:52:42,820
I wouldn't tell you.
We're on opposite sides.

993
00:52:42,900 --> 00:52:45,140
We're on our side.

994
00:52:45,220 --> 00:52:46,980
There is no "our side", Crowley.

995
00:52:47,060 --> 00:52:48,700
Not anymore.

996
00:52:48,780 --> 00:52:50,020
It's over.

997
00:52:52,900 --> 00:52:54,420
Right.

998
00:52:57,380 --> 00:52:58,860
Well, then...

999
00:53:04,300 --> 00:53:05,860
Have a nice doomsday.

1000
00:53:31,260 --> 00:53:32,860
Brilliant.

1001
00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:34,810
_

1002
00:53:34,811 --> 00:53:37,959
_

1003
00:53:52,620 --> 00:53:54,260
You can do it.

1004
00:54:00,500 --> 00:54:03,260
It's getting closer.

1005
00:54:03,340 --> 00:54:04,980
It's getting stronger.

1006
00:54:22,540 --> 00:54:24,540
- That's a bit...
- Impossible.

1007
00:54:27,100 --> 00:54:28,420
Is this a joke?

1008
00:54:28,500 --> 00:54:30,260
240 megawatts of power

1009
00:54:30,340 --> 00:54:32,580
are currently being produced
by this power station, Eric.

1010
00:54:32,660 --> 00:54:35,100
It's just, according to our indicators,

1011
00:54:35,180 --> 00:54:37,380
nothing's producing them.

1012
00:54:37,460 --> 00:54:39,460
What do you mean I have to authorise it?

1013
00:54:39,540 --> 00:54:41,900
Is there anyone else?

1014
00:54:41,980 --> 00:54:44,460
I know I'm the minister.

1015
00:54:45,260 --> 00:54:47,500
Well, then, yes.

1016
00:54:47,580 --> 00:54:49,940
I authorise you to open
the bloody thing up.

1017
00:55:04,180 --> 00:55:05,700
Oh.

1018
00:55:05,780 --> 00:55:07,316
There's something you
don't see every day.

1019
00:55:07,340 --> 00:55:11,180
An enormous room without
a nuclear reactor in it.

1020
00:55:11,260 --> 00:55:14,580
But... there's nothing there.

1021
00:55:14,660 --> 00:55:16,500
Not nothing, chief.

1022
00:55:18,900 --> 00:55:20,780
It looks like a sherbet lemon.

1023
00:55:27,940 --> 00:55:31,740
Mend it all. End it all.

1024
00:55:32,740 --> 00:55:34,940
End it all.

1025
00:55:39,541 --> 00:55:44,541
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -