1
00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:06,958
_

2
00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:13,362
Sam texted us an "X."

3
00:00:13,419 --> 00:00:14,497
What does that mean?

4
00:00:14,522 --> 00:00:15,716
Our deal with the kids.

5
00:00:15,741 --> 00:00:17,992
Tim, if they ever need
an emergency ride home,

6
00:00:18,017 --> 00:00:20,013
all they have to do is
text an "X," an address,

7
00:00:20,047 --> 00:00:21,391
we go pick them up, no questions asked.

8
00:00:21,415 --> 00:00:23,349
Where is my good bra?

9
00:00:23,374 --> 00:00:25,252
Can I go like this? I
feel like this is good.

10
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,408
She's never texted us an "X" before.

11
00:00:27,433 --> 00:00:28,974
What do you think that means?

12
00:00:28,999 --> 00:00:30,424
I don't know. It sounds dirty.

13
00:00:30,457 --> 00:00:32,591
I mean, that might just
be 'cause of the "X."

14
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,437
Maybe we should've called
it "Come and Get Me."

15
00:00:34,461 --> 00:00:36,884
'Cause that can't sound sexual
unless they said, like...

16
00:00:36,909 --> 00:00:37,920
"Come and get me."

17
00:00:37,944 --> 00:00:39,066
But why would they say that?

18
00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,435
Stop it. Let's go, let's go, let's go.

19
00:00:41,468 --> 00:00:42,512
Mom?

20
00:00:42,536 --> 00:00:45,106
I had a bad dream you were abandoning me

21
00:00:45,139 --> 00:00:47,574
in the middle of the...

22
00:00:47,608 --> 00:00:49,443
Oh, no.

23
00:00:49,476 --> 00:00:51,370
Oh, shoot.

24
00:00:51,395 --> 00:00:53,680
Somebody needs to stay
here for Sophia. You stay.

25
00:00:53,714 --> 00:00:55,340
- No, you.
- Oh, Tim.

26
00:00:55,365 --> 00:00:58,952
This is even worse than being abandoned.

27
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,842
- Hey.
- Hey.

28
00:01:11,009 --> 00:01:13,450
Okay, I'm not gonna ask any questions,

29
00:01:13,475 --> 00:01:15,202
but why are you wet?

30
00:01:15,236 --> 00:01:17,604
- That's a question, Mom.
- I know, I know. I hear that now.

31
00:01:17,638 --> 00:01:20,843
- Can we just go?
- Well, you just asked a question.

32
00:01:20,868 --> 00:01:23,259
- Mom.
- Okay, fine. Fine, fine, fine.

33
00:01:26,626 --> 00:01:28,615
The "X" text sucks.

34
00:01:28,649 --> 00:01:30,151
Okay? I'm sorry.

35
00:01:30,184 --> 00:01:32,953
Somebody gets into your car soaking wet,

36
00:01:32,986 --> 00:01:36,157
you want to know why.
Right? This is still America.

37
00:01:36,190 --> 00:01:38,659
You're not the only one who
had a rough night, you know.

38
00:01:38,692 --> 00:01:41,795
I fell asleep eating kale
chips. They're that boring.

39
00:01:41,828 --> 00:01:45,098
Tim, I just... I-I can't do this.

40
00:01:45,123 --> 00:01:47,593
I need to know what happened last night.

41
00:01:47,618 --> 00:01:49,236
- So ask Sam.
- No.

42
00:01:49,270 --> 00:01:51,505
Because if I ask her, she
won't text us next time

43
00:01:51,538 --> 00:01:53,140
because she'll never trust us again.

44
00:01:53,174 --> 00:01:55,155
I'm sure she's fine now.

45
00:02:05,712 --> 00:02:08,366
That's where her dreams
are supposed to go.

46
00:02:11,444 --> 00:02:12,759
Hey, guys.

47
00:02:12,793 --> 00:02:14,094
What you up to?

48
00:02:14,127 --> 00:02:18,031
Well, we're actually having
our first real struggle

49
00:02:18,064 --> 00:02:19,859
about where we want to be in our lives.

50
00:02:19,884 --> 00:02:22,703
Yeah, so, I need a favor
from the two of you.

51
00:02:23,259 --> 00:02:24,638
Last night,

52
00:02:24,671 --> 00:02:26,908
Sam texted Dad and me an "X."

53
00:02:26,933 --> 00:02:28,026
Oh, yeah, we know.

54
00:02:28,051 --> 00:02:29,776
- She told us all about it.
- Mm-hmm.

55
00:02:29,810 --> 00:02:31,712
Oh, okay, 'cause, I
mean, she told me a lot.

56
00:02:31,745 --> 00:02:33,880
Like, you know, she told
me all about the pool stuff.

57
00:02:33,914 --> 00:02:35,216
- Right?
- Yeah, I can't comment

58
00:02:35,249 --> 00:02:37,351
as to whether there
was or was not a pool.

59
00:02:37,384 --> 00:02:38,819
- Okay.
- Do I need to remind you

60
00:02:38,844 --> 00:02:40,053
about the "X" text rules?

61
00:02:40,086 --> 00:02:42,434
No, you do not, because the rules are

62
00:02:42,459 --> 00:02:44,793
that I can't ask the texter,

63
00:02:44,818 --> 00:02:48,036
but I can ask other people.

64
00:02:48,329 --> 00:02:49,508
Yeah, I think you would agree

65
00:02:49,533 --> 00:02:51,635
that that's a liberal
interpretation of the rules.

66
00:02:51,660 --> 00:02:54,324
I would agree that you
live here rent-free.

67
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:57,013
Look, Mom, I understand how you feel.

68
00:02:57,037 --> 00:02:59,339
But the important thing
is that Sam is fine.

69
00:02:59,364 --> 00:03:02,470
Yeah. Well... she will be.

70
00:03:02,495 --> 00:03:05,045
That is all that Clementine
has to say at this time.

71
00:03:05,305 --> 00:03:06,305
What?

72
00:03:12,289 --> 00:03:14,755
- What are you doing?
- Shh!

73
00:03:14,788 --> 00:03:16,876
I'm trying to unlock Sam's phone

74
00:03:16,901 --> 00:03:18,436
using facial recognition

75
00:03:18,461 --> 00:03:19,936
so that I can get into her social media,

76
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,161
find out what happened.

77
00:03:21,194 --> 00:03:23,029
- You can't do that.
- I know.

78
00:03:23,063 --> 00:03:25,508
She's sleeping on her stomach.
You got to flip her over.

79
00:03:25,836 --> 00:03:28,402
Gently. Just...

80
00:03:30,826 --> 00:03:32,527
- Aw.
- Oh.

81
00:03:37,077 --> 00:03:39,188
God, I remember when I used
to pick her up from school

82
00:03:39,212 --> 00:03:41,782
and she would talk the entire way home.

83
00:03:41,815 --> 00:03:43,417
She would tell me every detail.

84
00:03:43,450 --> 00:03:47,220
Who she liked, who was mean,
who cried, who threw up.

85
00:03:47,254 --> 00:03:48,855
It's Sam.

86
00:03:48,889 --> 00:03:50,724
If she wants to talk to us, she will.

87
00:03:50,757 --> 00:03:52,693
- I know.
- Come on.

88
00:03:55,214 --> 00:03:56,363
Okay, no, no, no, no.

89
00:03:56,388 --> 00:03:57,655
Heather, don't.

90
00:04:03,190 --> 00:04:06,707
Oh. I'm gonna go see if
Tyler wants to cuddle.

91
00:04:07,396 --> 00:04:09,609
Clementine always makes it weird.

92
00:04:12,046 --> 00:04:13,515
I love you.

93
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:22,122
- Hey.
- Hey.

94
00:04:22,155 --> 00:04:24,241
I just wanted to tell you...

95
00:04:24,266 --> 00:04:26,259
I feel lucky to have a mom like you.

96
00:04:26,293 --> 00:04:28,128
- Oh.
- I was worried

97
00:04:28,161 --> 00:04:29,996
you were going to
badger me about the party

98
00:04:30,030 --> 00:04:32,766
and ask everyone in the
family a million questions,

99
00:04:32,799 --> 00:04:34,635
like, never let it die.

100
00:04:34,668 --> 00:04:36,903
Right. That would never happen, okay?

101
00:04:36,937 --> 00:04:39,198
This is me that we're
talking about, right?

102
00:04:39,223 --> 00:04:40,307
Well, thank you.

103
00:04:40,341 --> 00:04:42,175
'Cause tons of people got in trouble.

104
00:04:42,208 --> 00:04:44,511
A bunch of college kids
got put on probation.

105
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:45,846
What a party.

106
00:04:45,879 --> 00:04:48,415
- You have no idea.
- Mmm.

107
00:04:50,428 --> 00:04:51,770
Yeah.

108
00:04:53,019 --> 00:04:55,155
Oh, God.

109
00:04:58,263 --> 00:05:00,036
_

110
00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:04,671
Thank you.

111
00:05:04,911 --> 00:05:06,659
I'm glad you could use Heather's ticket.

112
00:05:06,684 --> 00:05:09,253
It's really cool that
I called to invite Matt

113
00:05:09,278 --> 00:05:11,104
and you invited yourself instead.

114
00:05:11,137 --> 00:05:12,639
I know. It really pays off

115
00:05:12,673 --> 00:05:14,433
to answer your husband's
phone and read his texts.

116
00:05:14,457 --> 00:05:15,685
Well, we're gonna have fun tonight.

117
00:05:15,709 --> 00:05:18,379
- I love these French circus shows.
- Oh, me, too.

118
00:05:18,412 --> 00:05:20,847
I just want to lose myself
in the acrobatic fantasy

119
00:05:20,881 --> 00:05:23,149
and forget who I am for one night.

120
00:05:23,683 --> 00:05:26,887
You're not gonna talk like that
through the whole show, are you?

121
00:05:33,303 --> 00:05:34,754
Damn it.

122
00:05:34,779 --> 00:05:36,229
- Damn it!
- What happened?

123
00:05:36,262 --> 00:05:37,831
Did you see an ex-girlfriend?

124
00:05:37,864 --> 00:05:40,133
Kind of. Your poutine.

125
00:05:40,365 --> 00:05:42,150
French fries, cheese curds and gravy.

126
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,336
Everything I love.

127
00:05:43,370 --> 00:05:45,839
Oh, and that you can't eat anymore.

128
00:05:45,872 --> 00:05:47,207
Since the heart surgery,

129
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,941
everything I eat is
just steamed sadness.

130
00:05:49,966 --> 00:05:52,879
I am so sorry. I'll go eat
it quickly over a garbage can.

131
00:05:52,913 --> 00:05:55,682
Oh, my favorite way to eat it. Ooh.

132
00:05:55,716 --> 00:05:58,018
- Let me just have one bite.
- I don't think I should.

133
00:05:58,051 --> 00:06:01,037
Come on, I'm a big boy. I
can handle a little poutine.

134
00:06:01,062 --> 00:06:01,863
Oh.

135
00:06:01,888 --> 00:06:03,189
- Mmm.
- Okay, that's enough.

136
00:06:03,223 --> 00:06:05,582
Oh, you're gonna have
to get two of these.

137
00:06:07,129 --> 00:06:08,829
It's gonna be a great night.

138
00:06:08,862 --> 00:06:09,862
Oh!

139
00:06:10,511 --> 00:06:12,012
Poutine!

140
00:06:12,155 --> 00:06:14,368
Why have you forsaken me?

141
00:06:21,017 --> 00:06:22,543
- You okay?
- Oh, yeah.

142
00:06:22,576 --> 00:06:25,114
I just like to sit real
still during these shows.

143
00:06:25,139 --> 00:06:26,575
Clap with my eyes.

144
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,201
Okay.

145
00:06:31,509 --> 00:06:32,911
Oh, I love this.

146
00:06:32,936 --> 00:06:34,465
French clowns are so much better

147
00:06:34,490 --> 00:06:36,256
than American clowns
because they're mean.

148
00:06:37,117 --> 00:06:39,204
Oh. I think I need to leave
something in the bathroom.

149
00:06:40,226 --> 00:06:42,011
No, no, no, no, not now.

150
00:06:42,036 --> 00:06:43,778
They're gonna come in the
audience and pick somebody.

151
00:06:43,802 --> 00:06:45,203
I hope it's us.

152
00:06:46,733 --> 00:06:48,735
If you look too eager,
they will not pick you,

153
00:06:48,769 --> 00:06:50,336
- so look away.
- Got it.

154
00:06:54,621 --> 00:06:55,990
Oh.

155
00:06:56,510 --> 00:06:58,822
No. No, no, no. I'm too eager.

156
00:06:58,847 --> 00:07:00,881
I-I got something going
on with my stomach.

157
00:07:00,914 --> 00:07:02,916
Oh. Lève-to ma ma mootee, eh?

158
00:07:02,949 --> 00:07:04,250
But that's not even French.

159
00:07:04,284 --> 00:07:05,786
You can understand me.

160
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,091
Jealous.

161
00:07:12,325 --> 00:07:14,094
Please, just let me go back.

162
00:07:18,289 --> 00:07:19,457
No.

163
00:07:20,518 --> 00:07:22,149
No, no, you got to pick somebody else.

164
00:07:22,174 --> 00:07:23,932
There's something going on inside me.

165
00:07:23,957 --> 00:07:24,909
Yves Saint Laurent.

166
00:07:24,934 --> 00:07:26,713
That's just a handbag designer!

167
00:07:27,608 --> 00:07:28,809
Oh, God.

168
00:07:28,842 --> 00:07:29,810
Wait a second, wait a second.

169
00:07:29,843 --> 00:07:32,100
This is not... this is not a good plan.

170
00:07:32,125 --> 00:07:33,814
We need a different plan. God, please...

171
00:07:33,847 --> 00:07:35,569
No...!

172
00:07:35,934 --> 00:07:36,935
Bonjour.

173
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,284
Bonjour.

174
00:07:38,318 --> 00:07:40,086
No, no, no, I have
to go to the bathroom!

175
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,523
Don't do this to me!

176
00:07:45,992 --> 00:07:47,594
- Mmm.
- Mmm.

177
00:07:47,628 --> 00:07:49,129
Merci.

178
00:07:49,562 --> 00:07:51,297
Oh, God, not here.

179
00:07:52,109 --> 00:07:53,500
Not like this.

180
00:07:53,534 --> 00:07:54,635
Key?

181
00:07:56,215 --> 00:07:57,215
No.

182
00:07:57,673 --> 00:07:59,409
Mind over matter.

183
00:07:59,434 --> 00:08:00,308
No.

184
00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:01,511
You don't have to go.

185
00:08:01,536 --> 00:08:03,847
Oh, yes, you do!

186
00:08:03,872 --> 00:08:06,815
Ooh, I got to go, I
got to go, I got to go.

187
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,935
What's taking so long?

188
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,684
This is not a good trick!

189
00:08:12,485 --> 00:08:15,522
No. Uh, maybe, uh, this key.

190
00:08:15,556 --> 00:08:17,521
Ah, j'adore Ratatouille, hmm?

191
00:08:17,546 --> 00:08:19,125
That's it.

192
00:08:19,159 --> 00:08:20,226
I'm taking a picture.

193
00:08:22,929 --> 00:08:24,154
Cheese.

194
00:08:24,179 --> 00:08:25,999
Oh! Ooh!

195
00:08:27,335 --> 00:08:29,177
Oh.

196
00:08:30,163 --> 00:08:31,499
Je t'aime, oh là là.

197
00:08:31,524 --> 00:08:33,255
It's Tim, from the box.

198
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,841
I need to go to the bathroom.

199
00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:36,810
- Ouais.
- Ouais.

200
00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:43,717
Shut up. No, you didn't.

201
00:08:47,134 --> 00:08:48,488
- Tim?
- Heather, it's Tim.

202
00:08:48,521 --> 00:08:50,499
I need help. I've been locked
in a box by French clowns,

203
00:08:50,523 --> 00:08:52,583
and I have diarrhea.

204
00:08:52,778 --> 00:08:55,228
Okay, okay, all right. Well, calm down.

205
00:08:55,261 --> 00:08:57,506
I'm afraid I'm gonna let loose
in front of this whole theater.

206
00:08:57,530 --> 00:08:59,989
They're never gonna be
able to use this box again.

207
00:09:00,317 --> 00:09:02,512
I don't know how much
longer I can hold it.

208
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,490
Oh, here comes another contraction!

209
00:09:05,975 --> 00:09:07,340
Heather, you got to help me.

210
00:09:07,373 --> 00:09:10,280
Oh, Tim, honey, I would,
but I can't right now.

211
00:09:10,305 --> 00:09:12,413
I'm having wine with Jen.

212
00:09:12,438 --> 00:09:13,580
Hi, Tim.

213
00:09:13,614 --> 00:09:14,681
Hi, Jen.

214
00:09:14,715 --> 00:09:16,883
I'm in a box with diarrhea.

215
00:09:16,917 --> 00:09:18,844
Yeah. Yeah, I heard.

216
00:09:18,869 --> 00:09:21,344
So, honey, what-what
do you want me to do?

217
00:09:21,369 --> 00:09:24,457
Just call the theater. Tell
them to... end the trick.

218
00:09:24,490 --> 00:09:25,892
I think by the time I do that,

219
00:09:25,926 --> 00:09:28,094
you know, the trick
will probably be over.

220
00:09:28,128 --> 00:09:30,030
I know. I'm sorry.

221
00:09:30,732 --> 00:09:32,699
I shouldn't have eaten the poutine.

222
00:09:32,733 --> 00:09:34,100
Oh, Tim, you broke your diet.

223
00:09:34,134 --> 00:09:36,073
Uh...

224
00:09:36,683 --> 00:09:38,471
did you just text me an "X"?

225
00:09:38,504 --> 00:09:39,572
Yeah.

226
00:09:39,925 --> 00:09:42,542
Come get me. No questions asked.

227
00:09:50,751 --> 00:09:52,218
I'm dead on the floor.

228
00:09:53,825 --> 00:09:55,121
Dear God,

229
00:09:55,155 --> 00:09:56,556
if you get me through this,

230
00:09:56,589 --> 00:09:59,559
I swear I'll only eat healthy
for the rest of my life.

231
00:10:04,665 --> 00:10:06,651
Please, Father,

232
00:10:06,676 --> 00:10:09,573
use your gentle hand
to hold this inside me.

233
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:13,767
- Hey!
- Oh!

234
00:10:19,038 --> 00:10:20,648
Bravo!

235
00:10:20,903 --> 00:10:21,808
Hold it.

236
00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:23,671
Hold it. Hold it.

237
00:10:23,696 --> 00:10:26,904
But wasn't he supposed
to sit down in his seat?

238
00:10:26,929 --> 00:10:28,621
Yep. That's not good.

239
00:10:28,655 --> 00:10:29,622
Oh, oh!

240
00:10:29,656 --> 00:10:31,524
Everybody out of the way!

241
00:10:37,108 --> 00:10:38,765
So close.

242
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,423
_

243
00:10:45,870 --> 00:10:49,084
Ta-da! Ta-da! Ta-da! Ta-da! Ta-da!

244
00:10:49,117 --> 00:10:51,008
- Ta-da! Ta-da!
- Hi, sweetie.

245
00:10:51,033 --> 00:10:52,836
- Ta-da!
- You okay?

246
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:53,812
Yeah, yeah.

247
00:10:53,837 --> 00:10:55,283
No, I'm just, you know, exhausted,

248
00:10:55,308 --> 00:10:56,558
and the baby's starving.

249
00:10:56,591 --> 00:10:58,402
- And I don't know what Lark is doing.
- Ta-da! Ta-da! Ta-da!

250
00:10:58,426 --> 00:10:59,928
- Ta-da!
- You know what, go upstairs

251
00:10:59,962 --> 00:11:03,265
to Greg's old room,
breastfeed, and sleep.

252
00:11:03,290 --> 00:11:05,282
John and I will take care of Lark.

253
00:11:05,307 --> 00:11:08,171
Oh, really? Thank you so much.

254
00:11:08,196 --> 00:11:10,366
You know, I know I complain
about these brunches,

255
00:11:10,391 --> 00:11:13,574
but I'm just so lucky to be
part of such a close family.

256
00:11:15,344 --> 00:11:17,707
You complain about these brunches?

257
00:11:17,732 --> 00:11:19,008
Who said that?

258
00:11:31,102 --> 00:11:32,092
Yeah.

259
00:11:32,117 --> 00:11:34,304
Honey, what's the matter? What is it?

260
00:11:34,907 --> 00:11:36,999
I just saw Jen's boob.

261
00:11:37,032 --> 00:11:38,927
What? How?

262
00:11:38,952 --> 00:11:40,802
Well, I-I had to go to the bathroom,

263
00:11:40,835 --> 00:11:43,121
so I use the one up in Greg's room.

264
00:11:43,146 --> 00:11:46,241
And Jen was there, asleep.

265
00:11:46,826 --> 00:11:48,010
And it was out.

266
00:11:48,043 --> 00:11:49,697
So she doesn't even know.

267
00:11:49,722 --> 00:11:51,079
That's wonderful.

268
00:11:51,113 --> 00:11:52,647
But... No. But she will know.

269
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,149
I've got to tell her.

270
00:11:54,189 --> 00:11:56,162
No, no, no, no, no. Trust me.

271
00:11:56,187 --> 00:11:57,389
Don't tell her.

272
00:11:57,414 --> 00:11:59,587
You'll only embarrass her.

273
00:11:59,621 --> 00:12:00,831
But the world is changing.

274
00:12:00,855 --> 00:12:02,424
I need to get out in front of this.

275
00:12:02,457 --> 00:12:05,289
You see something, you say something.

276
00:12:05,314 --> 00:12:07,782
Dear, that's at the airport.

277
00:12:08,055 --> 00:12:09,844
Just let this go.

278
00:12:12,167 --> 00:12:13,768
Nothing catching your eye?

279
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:16,038
No, uh, uh, not even looking.

280
00:12:16,071 --> 00:12:17,372
Oh. Well, I don't blame you.

281
00:12:17,405 --> 00:12:19,807
Colleen brought a peanut
butter and jelly frittata.

282
00:12:19,841 --> 00:12:21,476
I mean, call me old-fashioned,

283
00:12:21,509 --> 00:12:23,445
but I like my 'tatas plain and simple.

284
00:12:23,478 --> 00:12:25,680
Yeah, yeah.

285
00:12:25,713 --> 00:12:28,450
I mean, I don't think
I'm really hungry. Mm-hmm.

286
00:12:28,483 --> 00:12:31,707
Oh, hey, by the way, thank
you for watching my girls.

287
00:12:31,732 --> 00:12:33,621
You know, you and Joan
just always do so much

288
00:12:33,655 --> 00:12:35,457
to make me feel welcome in this family,

289
00:12:35,490 --> 00:12:37,892
and-and now you've really
made me feel comfortable.

290
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:39,461
I saw your boob.

291
00:12:39,849 --> 00:12:40,856
What?

292
00:12:40,881 --> 00:12:43,512
Yeah, y-you were
asleep, feeding the baby,

293
00:12:43,537 --> 00:12:44,832
with your boob out.

294
00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:46,834
That's fine. I mean,
I breastfeed in public

295
00:12:46,868 --> 00:12:48,470
all the time. It's natural.

296
00:12:48,503 --> 00:12:50,205
No, no. The feeding was over.

297
00:12:50,238 --> 00:12:53,275
The baby was down,
and-and the boob was up.

298
00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:54,676
Like, all of it.

299
00:12:54,709 --> 00:12:56,010
Oh, God.

300
00:12:56,044 --> 00:12:57,479
I-I-I'm a horrible person.

301
00:12:57,512 --> 00:12:59,243
No better than Tim.

302
00:12:59,268 --> 00:13:01,017
Okay, look. It was an accident.

303
00:13:01,042 --> 00:13:04,204
So let's just never mention this again

304
00:13:04,229 --> 00:13:06,688
and forget the whole thing.

305
00:13:06,721 --> 00:13:08,456
Oh. Roger that.

306
00:13:11,244 --> 00:13:12,846
It's all good, buddy.

307
00:13:12,871 --> 00:13:15,205
I apologized, and Jen forgave me.

308
00:13:15,230 --> 00:13:17,232
- For what?
- For seeing her boob.

309
00:13:17,265 --> 00:13:18,933
You saw my wife's boob?

310
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,704
Well, that's your first mistake.

311
00:13:20,729 --> 00:13:22,437
She's her own wife, not yours.

312
00:13:22,470 --> 00:13:24,872
Time to evolve, Greg.

313
00:13:25,213 --> 00:13:27,175
Why didn't you tell me
my dad saw your boob?

314
00:13:27,209 --> 00:13:29,577
- Oh. You already told him.
- Mm.

315
00:13:29,611 --> 00:13:31,679
John, I thought you
were letting this go.

316
00:13:31,713 --> 00:13:32,680
Oh.

317
00:13:32,714 --> 00:13:34,729
He told you, too. Fun.

318
00:13:34,754 --> 00:13:35,888
Calm down.

319
00:13:35,913 --> 00:13:38,019
I told Joanie before you.

320
00:13:38,052 --> 00:13:40,922
And I told you not to tell her.

321
00:13:40,955 --> 00:13:42,023
Mm-hmm.

322
00:13:42,056 --> 00:13:43,858
Okay, I need a moment alone.

323
00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:45,122
Can I come?

324
00:13:45,372 --> 00:13:46,261
Why not?

325
00:13:46,294 --> 00:13:48,730
There's no such thing
as privacy in this home.

326
00:13:50,432 --> 00:13:51,620
Hmm.

327
00:13:51,762 --> 00:13:53,745
If you want to make this better,

328
00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:55,751
stop embarrassing Jen.

329
00:13:55,776 --> 00:13:58,440
Ooh, John! What'd you
embarrass Jen about?

330
00:13:58,473 --> 00:14:00,642
Oh. Wait, what's going
on with you and Jen?

331
00:14:00,675 --> 00:14:02,221
Yeah, Dad, what happened?

332
00:14:03,073 --> 00:14:04,546
Something must have happened.

333
00:14:04,579 --> 00:14:07,096
- What's happening?
- Okay, fine.

334
00:14:07,658 --> 00:14:10,775
I know she wouldn't want me
telling this to you guys, but...

335
00:14:11,319 --> 00:14:12,954
Jen saw my penis.

336
00:14:12,987 --> 00:14:13,955
What?!

337
00:14:13,988 --> 00:14:16,086
I was upstairs feeding the baby,

338
00:14:16,111 --> 00:14:18,092
and she walked in.

339
00:14:18,117 --> 00:14:19,427
I didn't even know.

340
00:14:19,461 --> 00:14:20,895
How'd you not know?

341
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,063
I'd fallen asleep.

342
00:14:22,096 --> 00:14:23,298
Feeding the baby?

343
00:14:23,331 --> 00:14:24,966
- Yes.
- While your penis was out?

344
00:14:24,999 --> 00:14:26,334
Yes, exactly.

345
00:14:26,368 --> 00:14:27,335
A-And I know

346
00:14:27,369 --> 00:14:28,836
it's an unlucky situation,

347
00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:32,607
but Jen has nothing to
be embarrassed about.

348
00:14:33,169 --> 00:14:34,204
Okay, Jen,

349
00:14:34,229 --> 00:14:37,032
I am so sorry about my dad.

350
00:14:37,057 --> 00:14:40,236
Seriously, John? You
told the entire family?

351
00:14:40,261 --> 00:14:42,784
Yep. Now the whole family
knows you saw my ween.

352
00:14:43,818 --> 00:14:44,786
What?!

353
00:14:44,819 --> 00:14:46,367
What happened in my old room?

354
00:14:46,392 --> 00:14:47,524
Oh, it's so weird.

355
00:14:47,549 --> 00:14:48,923
John saw my boob.

356
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:50,692
While you were looking at his ween?

357
00:14:50,725 --> 00:14:53,186
No. I wasn't looking
at his anything, okay?

358
00:14:53,211 --> 00:14:55,702
I was feeding the baby, I fell asleep,

359
00:14:55,727 --> 00:14:57,098
and John walked in.

360
00:14:57,131 --> 00:14:59,841
Then why did you tell us
that she saw your Lone Ranger?

361
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:02,073
What is the matter with you?

362
00:15:02,098 --> 00:15:04,512
I think because he was trying

363
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,841
to protect me from
being embarrassed by...

364
00:15:06,874 --> 00:15:08,876
I don't know, embarrassing himself.

365
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:11,346
Pretty clever, right?

366
00:15:11,379 --> 00:15:13,294
So amazingly stupid.

367
00:15:13,319 --> 00:15:15,591
I actually preferred it when
you just told me the truth.

368
00:15:15,616 --> 00:15:17,885
You know? No matter
how hard it was to hear.

369
00:15:18,476 --> 00:15:19,914
I also saw your boob.

370
00:15:19,939 --> 00:15:21,189
I will end you, Tyler.

371
00:15:21,223 --> 00:15:23,691
Does anyone in this family knock?

372
00:15:23,725 --> 00:15:25,230
We're not big knockers.

373
00:15:25,255 --> 00:15:26,328
Sorry.

374
00:15:26,574 --> 00:15:29,533
Okay. Well, anyone else see my boob?

375
00:15:34,369 --> 00:15:37,038
It is the most private
bathroom in the house.

376
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:41,919
Okay. Well, time to feed
the baby again, so...

377
00:15:41,944 --> 00:15:43,871
anyone who missed the 11:30 show,

378
00:15:43,896 --> 00:15:45,436
please follow me.

379
00:15:48,182 --> 00:15:50,002
Everyone stays in this room.

380
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,007
_

381
00:15:54,179 --> 00:15:55,427
Look at this.

382
00:15:55,452 --> 00:15:57,888
Hmm? Two dads watching their kids play?

383
00:15:57,913 --> 00:15:59,364
- Yeah.
- It's pretty cool.

384
00:16:01,343 --> 00:16:02,791
And, hey, I know you're new at this,

385
00:16:02,816 --> 00:16:05,103
so if you need any dad-vice, I'm here.

386
00:16:06,354 --> 00:16:07,740
Did you just say "dad-vice"?

387
00:16:07,773 --> 00:16:09,791
Yeah. It's mine. Don't use it.

388
00:16:10,041 --> 00:16:13,391
Oh, oh. Looks like a
show's about to start.

389
00:16:13,416 --> 00:16:14,088
Okay.

390
00:16:14,113 --> 00:16:15,915
Uh-oh.

391
00:16:26,524 --> 00:16:28,360
- She's been taking lessons.
- Yeah.

392
00:16:28,385 --> 00:16:29,494
In piano?

393
00:16:35,701 --> 00:16:37,321
Oh, you did so good, honey.

394
00:16:37,346 --> 00:16:39,237
And she hit every key!

395
00:16:39,271 --> 00:16:42,727
I don't think you left a key untouched.

396
00:16:42,907 --> 00:16:44,176
Sorry about that.

397
00:16:44,209 --> 00:16:47,352
Lark casts a pretty big
shadow, but give it some time.

398
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:49,394
I'm sure Lucas will
find his own way to...

399
00:16:55,287 --> 00:16:57,990
Why didn't you tell
us he could play piano?

400
00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,458
I didn't know he could play piano.

401
00:17:02,071 --> 00:17:04,930
Boy, I really like how you
can tell what song it is.

402
00:17:04,963 --> 00:17:07,165
Yeah, it's the one from
the carpet commercial.

403
00:17:07,199 --> 00:17:09,804
? We have carpets, indoor, outdoor ?

404
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:12,218
? Brown, beige, tan,
beige, brown and white. ?

405
00:17:12,871 --> 00:17:14,306
Oh!

406
00:17:19,511 --> 00:17:20,545
Hey, Greg,

407
00:17:20,578 --> 00:17:22,214
let me know if you need any dad-vice.

408
00:17:22,247 --> 00:17:23,892
You know, you're not
even saying that the ri...

409
00:17:23,916 --> 00:17:25,884
Well, okay, I guess
that is the right way.

410
00:17:27,472 --> 00:17:30,010
Oh, my gosh! Ragtime!

411
00:17:33,726 --> 00:17:36,358
Hey, buddy. Guess...

412
00:17:36,383 --> 00:17:38,563
who just learned how
to play "Tiny Dancer"?

413
00:17:38,596 --> 00:17:39,832
Mom's favorite song.

414
00:17:39,865 --> 00:17:41,616
- Yeah.
- Subtle.

415
00:17:41,641 --> 00:17:43,535
Came on the radio, and
he just picked it up.

416
00:17:43,568 --> 00:17:46,504
Well, that's not a big deal.
That's like me and beatboxing.

417
00:17:46,538 --> 00:17:48,006
Our whole M.O. as parents

418
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,208
is just to nurture the nature in him.

419
00:17:50,242 --> 00:17:52,070
You don't have an M.O.
You don't even know

420
00:17:52,095 --> 00:17:53,491
what M.O. stands for.

421
00:17:53,516 --> 00:17:55,180
I'll just ask Lucas.

422
00:17:55,299 --> 00:17:56,501
He'll know.

423
00:17:58,220 --> 00:17:59,517
Where did you find that?

424
00:18:00,548 --> 00:18:01,887
Oh, no, this found me.

425
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,688
You have been a dad for three weeks.

426
00:18:03,722 --> 00:18:05,002
Well, you don't get to
be the world's greatest

427
00:18:05,026 --> 00:18:06,658
by working slow.

428
00:18:06,987 --> 00:18:08,656
Daddy, look.

429
00:18:09,126 --> 00:18:10,523
Oh, wow.

430
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:13,241
Look at this, everybody.

431
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,743
Lark's Eiffel Tower.

432
00:18:15,768 --> 00:18:17,731
Ooh, is that perfect!

433
00:18:17,756 --> 00:18:19,918
I feel like I'm in Paris.

434
00:18:19,943 --> 00:18:21,473
I hate the French.

435
00:18:21,498 --> 00:18:22,733
Good work, Lark.

436
00:18:22,758 --> 00:18:24,840
Lucas made it for me.

437
00:18:24,865 --> 00:18:25,865
What's that?

438
00:18:25,978 --> 00:18:27,373
That's my son.

439
00:18:28,123 --> 00:18:30,910
He's talented and generous. Hey, Mommy?

440
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:32,708
We are doing a great job.

441
00:18:32,733 --> 00:18:34,839
Oh, my God, I love it
when you call me Mommy.

442
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:38,144
- Okay, this is disgusting, all of it.
- Hey, buddy,

443
00:18:38,169 --> 00:18:39,575
come on, now, don't beat yourself up.

444
00:18:39,599 --> 00:18:41,002
It's okay that you haven't
taught your daughter

445
00:18:41,026 --> 00:18:42,126
to explore her creativity.

446
00:18:42,151 --> 00:18:43,896
My daughter explores plenty.

447
00:18:44,438 --> 00:18:45,931
Certainly looks like it.

448
00:18:46,830 --> 00:18:48,258
Oh, sweetie.

449
00:18:48,283 --> 00:18:49,932
Would you like a tissue?

450
00:18:50,533 --> 00:18:51,927
She learned that from her mother.

451
00:18:51,952 --> 00:18:53,153
Mm.

452
00:18:54,281 --> 00:18:56,740
Okay, so... Lark,
stop picking your nose.

453
00:18:56,765 --> 00:18:59,881
Okay, so, when we get out
there, okay, I'm gonna hide

454
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:03,201
this five of spades right
here under Uncle Matt's chair,

455
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:06,991
and when I say so, you
grab that card and you say,

456
00:19:07,031 --> 00:19:08,253
"Ta-da!"

457
00:19:08,286 --> 00:19:09,187
Ta-da!

458
00:19:09,212 --> 00:19:11,374
- Yeah. No, not yet.
- Ta-da!

459
00:19:11,399 --> 00:19:13,903
- Okay, I think I see what's...
- Ta-da! Ta-da!

460
00:19:13,928 --> 00:19:17,044
Uh, it is a fun word, but
let's not say that word

461
00:19:17,069 --> 00:19:19,575
until everyone is watching, okay?

462
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,192
What's going on here?

463
00:19:21,217 --> 00:19:23,668
Are you teaching Lark magic
tricks to get attention?

464
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:25,435
Ta-da!

465
00:19:26,990 --> 00:19:29,528
Look, you don't get it, man, all right?

466
00:19:29,553 --> 00:19:31,426
Lark had the spotlight all to herself,

467
00:19:31,451 --> 00:19:33,778
until someone came along
and stole it from her.

468
00:19:33,812 --> 00:19:36,597
You just described my entire life.

469
00:19:36,622 --> 00:19:38,449
I used to be the center of attention

470
00:19:38,474 --> 00:19:41,086
until you were born, but I got over it.

471
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:42,855
- No, you didn't.
- But I don't bring it up.

472
00:19:42,888 --> 00:19:44,552
Yes, you do, all the time.

473
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,363
Yeah, because it hurts
giving up the spotlight.

474
00:19:47,388 --> 00:19:48,816
That's why, 36 years later,

475
00:19:48,841 --> 00:19:51,096
you can't give it up to your own nephew.

476
00:19:56,326 --> 00:19:59,145
Daddy, I forgot what the word was.

477
00:20:00,317 --> 00:20:01,739
Ta-da.

478
00:20:13,339 --> 00:20:15,902
? When I see you, baby
girl, I be like, num num ?

479
00:20:15,927 --> 00:20:18,133
We adopted a star.

480
00:20:18,166 --> 00:20:20,636
I mean, was it a
performing arts orphanage?

481
00:20:20,669 --> 00:20:22,037
? I gotta have it... ?

482
00:20:22,070 --> 00:20:25,140
Can I show everybody my magic trick now?

483
00:20:25,779 --> 00:20:27,082
Uh...

484
00:20:27,107 --> 00:20:28,575
you know what?

485
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,162
We're all watching
Lucas dance right now.

486
00:20:31,295 --> 00:20:32,715
And he's pretty great.

487
00:20:33,264 --> 00:20:35,083
Thanks, man. So is Lark.

488
00:20:35,117 --> 00:20:37,886
? That num num, give it to me
before I start to act up... ?

489
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,298
Hey, Lucas, maybe when you're done,

490
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,648
you and Lark can go
out and ride bikes, huh?

491
00:20:41,673 --> 00:20:43,626
I don't know how to ride a bike.

492
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,368
Yes.

493
00:20:46,493 --> 00:20:48,111
Maybe Lark can teach him.

494
00:20:48,979 --> 00:20:53,979
Synced and corrected by Octavia
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