1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:05,000
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

2
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We haven't arrived together
once in the last ten weeks.

3
00:00:35,237 --> 00:00:36,372
It's an omen.

4
00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:39,261
Can I get a pint of Pride and
a glass of white wine, please?

5
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An omen or a symbol? Aren't omens bad?

6
00:00:42,170 --> 00:00:43,381
Don't they just predict change?

7
00:00:43,405 --> 00:00:44,642
Well, there you are.

8
00:00:44,815 --> 00:00:46,815
We arrive at the pub
together for our last session.

9
00:00:47,025 --> 00:00:49,693
- Why is it our last session?
- Well, I moved back in.

10
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We've had sex twice
in the last eight days.

11
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Sorted.

12
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When we started seeing Kenyon,
you hadn't even moved out,

13
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,219
so you moving in just takes
us back to where we started.

14
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- And the sex is...
- Don't start on the sex.

15
00:01:01,606 --> 00:01:02,941
Just leave it alone.

16
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,565
Don't knock it. It's my only
accomplishment of the year.

17
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Look, all I was going to say is that...

18
00:01:08,930 --> 00:01:10,565
- Thanks.
- ...it should be there.

19
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We're young, we're married,
we should be having sex.

20
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And we are. We started seeing
Kenyon because we'd stopped.

21
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And now we've started again.
So there we are. Tick, move on.

22
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:21,831
Cheers.

23
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:26,090
So what happened to your
feelings of humiliation?

24
00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:27,590
Gone. We had sex.

25
00:01:28,407 --> 00:01:30,833
And what your hurt and
anger about my affair?

26
00:01:31,001 --> 00:01:32,230
Oh, I've buried that deep.

27
00:01:32,695 --> 00:01:35,170
Yeah, that won't manifest
itself until much later

28
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:36,577
as some sort of physical ailment.

29
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Heart attack or cancer.

30
00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:41,707
And you think that's healthy?

31
00:01:42,427 --> 00:01:45,640
Do I think heart disease
or cancer are healthy?

32
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No. No, I don't.

33
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But the burying which
will result in cancer,

34
00:01:50,712 --> 00:01:51,832
do you think that's healthy?

35
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Yes, I do, in the short term.

36
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What about the other things we
talked about in the sessions?

37
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Like what?

38
00:01:57,382 --> 00:01:59,595
Tom, in the last few weeks we've
both aired more grievances

39
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than, I don't know...

40
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,331
Maybe looking at some sort of
peace process that would've hurt,

41
00:02:03,459 --> 00:02:04,638
Middle East, Northern Ireland.

42
00:02:04,662 --> 00:02:06,022
I was trying to avoid the clichés.

43
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:07,666
The thing about peace processes is,

44
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it's usually one big grievance.
We have a thousand.

45
00:02:09,962 --> 00:02:11,740
So I don't know what the
right analogy would be.

46
00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:13,319
Well, ours comes down to one really.

47
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,630
- Go on.
- We're married.

48
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Everything else is an offshoot.

49
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:19,314
We wouldn't argue about my sister

50
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if we weren't married. You'd
say, "How's your sister?"

51
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If I knew you had one.

52
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If indeed I even knew you.

53
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God, I'm presuming
we'd still be friends.

54
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,625
- Do you think we would?
- In the right circumstances.

55
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- Talk me through them.
- Don't be so rude.

56
00:02:35,348 --> 00:02:37,345
- Why is that rude?
- Well, or sarcastic, then.

57
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Hold on...

58
00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,336
you suggested that we'd only be friends

59
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given the right circumstances.

60
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Why is it sarcastic for me to ask
what those circumstances might be?

61
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It's as if you can't imagine
what they might be.

62
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Well, I just presumed

63
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that we would be friends
in any circumstances.

64
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You weren't presuming that at all.

65
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You were just trying
to make me feel bad.

66
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You're right. You're right.
And that's depressing.

67
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- Which bit?
- You knew I was winding you up

68
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when I said I can't imagine
us not being friends.

69
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Which, in other words,
means I was suggesting

70
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the exact opposite was true.

71
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Yes, that is depressing.

72
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But do husbands and
wives need to be friends?

73
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- I would have thought so, yes.
- Right.

74
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Let's just say that on the night we met

75
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we hadn't ended up in bed together,

76
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we'd just had an interesting
and agreeable conversation

77
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and then gone our
separate ways. What then?

78
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- What then what?
- Would you have followed up?

79
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Yes, of course.

80
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- Why of course?
- I wanted to have sex with you.

81
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- Sex is off the table.
- Why?

82
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Because in the parallel
universe I'm describing

83
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- we're not attracted to each other.
- Oh.

84
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I wouldn't have spoken
to you in the first place.

85
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Oh, my God. You were that shallow?

86
00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:47,227
No, hold on. It was a
party. We were in our 20s.

87
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You walk into the room, you
have a little glance around

88
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and you think, "Ooh,
where will I start?"

89
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And you were where I started.

90
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God.

91
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,224
All right, okay. What about this?

92
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We had a mutual friend who
asked us over for dinner

93
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:01,186
and we got on.

94
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,319
And then the friend
asked us to dinner again.

95
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:05,320
We got on again and the
third time it happened

96
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:08,004
we exchanged numbers and
agreed to go for a drink.

97
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- So sex is back on the table?
- No.

98
00:04:10,578 --> 00:04:13,089
- OK, I'm not following this.
- I'm talking about friendship.

99
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Could we have been friends

100
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if we hadn't done any
of the other stuff?

101
00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,713
- Yeah, I can't see it.
- Thanks.

102
00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:20,735
Well, no. I mean, look,

103
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,604
I didn't have any friends like you.

104
00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,264
I still don't have any friends like you.

105
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When we met you had no idea

106
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,509
why anyone would shout
Judas at Bob Dylan.

107
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Now I even know the shouter's name.

108
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- No, you don't.
- I do. Keith Butler.

109
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Wow.

110
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Don't get side-tracked.

111
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I'm just saying,

112
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I didn't know anyone who
had a GCSE in Biology,

113
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let alone someone who was
gonna devote their life

114
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to the health of old people.

115
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You hardly knew anyone
who cleaned their teeth.

116
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- I always did. Still do.
- I know.

117
00:04:45,845 --> 00:04:48,284
But where are you going with
Keith Butler and gerontology?

118
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They're what's so great about sex.

119
00:04:50,226 --> 00:04:51,866
Really? You can't think
of another reason?

120
00:04:51,891 --> 00:04:54,765
No, hold on, forget about
Keith Butler and the old people.

121
00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:57,115
I'm talking about sexual attraction.

122
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Sometimes you want to
have sex with somebody

123
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:02,977
who's not particularly
in your actual category.

124
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Especially so in your
case, I would imagine.

125
00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:06,314
Otherwise you'd only be having sex

126
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:09,017
with slightly malodorous
men with a bad pot habit

127
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,152
who only see daylight
during festival season.

128
00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:12,177
What about Kim?

129
00:05:12,202 --> 00:05:14,455
Or a slightly malodorous
woman with a bad pot habit

130
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who only sees daylight
during festival season.

131
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A lot of people think she's very sexy.

132
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If your idea of sexy is
owning a lot of old records.

133
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Which I do.

134
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Anyway, the point is, we
wouldn't have been friends.

135
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We just wouldn't.

136
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But we had sex

137
00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:30,238
and then we found this cornucopia
of things we had in common

138
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:31,807
that we would have never
unearthed otherwise.

139
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:32,948
For example?

140
00:05:33,810 --> 00:05:35,449
- Crosswords.
- That's one.

141
00:05:36,439 --> 00:05:38,273
- Kids.
- You can't put kids on the list.

142
00:05:38,298 --> 00:05:39,687
- Why not?
- They weren't a shared interest

143
00:05:39,711 --> 00:05:40,712
- before we had them.
- I know,

144
00:05:40,736 --> 00:05:44,139
but we both wanted them.
If we had both wanted... dogs

145
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:46,121
and we'd ended up with
a couple of Shih Tzus,

146
00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:47,305
you would have allowed those.

147
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,140
All right. Kids and crosswords.

148
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And I love the way you think.

149
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Don't know anyone who thinks like you.

150
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About what?

151
00:05:57,949 --> 00:05:59,109
The world.

152
00:05:59,695 --> 00:06:02,603
Scien... sciences. Things like that.

153
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,474
- That is nonsense.
- Yes, I'm afraid it is.

154
00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:08,810
- You don't care how I think.
- I really don't, no.

155
00:06:11,912 --> 00:06:14,115
So, what, we're not
friends? Is that the upshoot?

156
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,095
We're married. It's different. We...

157
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We've built a life together
in spite of everything.

158
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Shared language, family and
some sort of understanding.

159
00:06:25,326 --> 00:06:26,961
Complete intimate knowledge

160
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:28,910
of everything to do
with the other person.

161
00:06:29,709 --> 00:06:31,006
What would you call all of that?

162
00:06:32,666 --> 00:06:33,666
Well...

163
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:37,038
I think I know what Kenyon
would call all of that.

164
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,086
I know.

165
00:06:39,419 --> 00:06:41,058
And I mean, it sort of is, isn't it?

166
00:06:42,164 --> 00:06:43,251
I think it might be.

167
00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:44,850
Huh.

168
00:06:46,399 --> 00:06:48,335
So why is that such an
unsatisfactory answer?

169
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,695
- I know what you mean.
- Do you?

170
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,453
I think I may even know why.

171
00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:53,660
Go on.

172
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,848
Promise you won't be cross with me.

173
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,477
- No.
- Well...

174
00:06:58,670 --> 00:07:01,719
It is... love but without feeling,

175
00:07:02,230 --> 00:07:03,460
if you know what I mean.

176
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,684
- Yes!
- Oh, thank God.

177
00:07:05,709 --> 00:07:09,070
Exactly. Love without
the feeling. That's it.

178
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,639
You don't have to be that enthusiastic.

179
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:11,973
Why are the kids always saying,

180
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:13,841
"Love you. Love you,
Mum. Love you, Dad"?

181
00:07:13,866 --> 00:07:15,061
I never said that to my parents.

182
00:07:15,085 --> 00:07:17,645
Well, there's a reason for that,
but they say it all the time.

183
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,313
And I mean, I do think
that they love us,

184
00:07:19,338 --> 00:07:21,516
but it's deep down,
it's not on the surface

185
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,203
where cheap sentiment lives.

186
00:07:23,328 --> 00:07:25,357
So when they say it,
it's cheap sentiment?

187
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:26,795
Yeah, it means nothing.

188
00:07:28,177 --> 00:07:30,359
Do you think that's why we don't
say, "I love you" to each other?

189
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,784
I do. I do.

190
00:07:31,903 --> 00:07:32,903
Yes.

191
00:07:32,928 --> 00:07:35,296
I mean, we don't use
the expression glibly.

192
00:07:35,446 --> 00:07:37,621
We save it for when it counts.

193
00:07:37,968 --> 00:07:39,599
Plus we love without feeling.

194
00:07:40,795 --> 00:07:43,371
I mean, perhaps we could
practice saying it anyway.

195
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:45,994
I mean between us it
would never feel glib.

196
00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:48,862
It would just be a
simple, factual recognition

197
00:07:48,887 --> 00:07:50,778
of the state that exists between us.

198
00:07:51,934 --> 00:07:53,268
I think that's a good idea.

199
00:07:58,001 --> 00:07:59,888
- Let's put it on the list.
- Do we have a list?

200
00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:01,490
- Let's start a list.
- Let's start a list.

201
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:02,891
This might be good to do with Kenyon.

202
00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:04,417
Absolutely it would.

203
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:12,266
You know how when you're in AA,

204
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:14,735
you have to go to AA meetings
when you've given up drinking?

205
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,980
Yeah, of course. They have
to be alcoholics forever.

206
00:08:18,141 --> 00:08:21,776
I mean, "Hi, my name is Tom.
I've been sober for ten years."

207
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:22,802
I'm not an alcoholic, by the way.

208
00:08:22,826 --> 00:08:24,386
That's for discussion another time but,

209
00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:26,430
I think we might be
a little bit like that.

210
00:08:26,615 --> 00:08:29,116
- Like what?
- Sort of, "Our names are Tom and Louise

211
00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:30,885
"and we are in a
permanent marital crisis

212
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,630
"even though we live
together and have sex."

213
00:08:32,957 --> 00:08:34,656
- I'm not seeing Kenyon forever.
- No, I'm not saying that.

214
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,320
I'm just saying that
we should acknowledge

215
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,628
that we have a flawed marriage.

216
00:08:37,653 --> 00:08:40,574
We live on a fault line and
the house might collapse

217
00:08:40,599 --> 00:08:41,600
at any moment.

218
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,768
And, I mean, are we okay with that?

219
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:46,273
When we started this whole...

220
00:08:46,429 --> 00:08:48,536
thing, you wanted to
rebuild the architecture

221
00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:49,770
of our entire marriage.

222
00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:50,912
Yes, I remember that.

223
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,638
But you don't think that's possible?

224
00:08:53,873 --> 00:08:55,443
No, I wouldn't have thought so. No.

225
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:57,478
Otherwise it wouldn't
be our marriage anymore.

226
00:08:58,337 --> 00:09:01,839
But it might be somewhere
that we may want to live.

227
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:08,233
Oh, look, he's still with us.

228
00:09:10,275 --> 00:09:11,772
Oh, well, look at that.

229
00:09:12,145 --> 00:09:14,789
That's made me feel suddenly
hopeful about everything.

230
00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,395
Would you like another drink?

231
00:09:20,403 --> 00:09:22,823
- Are you serious?
- Let's get drunk.

232
00:09:23,932 --> 00:09:25,666
- What about Kenyon?
- I'll call her

233
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:27,462
and tell her there's
been a child emergency.

234
00:09:29,201 --> 00:09:30,790
Go on, you get the
drinks in. I'll call her.

235
00:09:30,814 --> 00:09:32,888
Well... Well, I don't know what to say.

236
00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:36,351
Actually, I do know what to say.

237
00:09:36,707 --> 00:09:37,765
I love you.

238
00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:43,939
Same again please.

239
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,114
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com