1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:05,000
www.subtitulamos.tv

2
00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:31,212
Oh, get in!

3
00:00:38,463 --> 00:00:39,463
Hello.

4
00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:42,135
Well, hell-o!

5
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:46,077
- How's your day been?
- It was, um...

6
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:48,261
It was fine.

7
00:00:49,275 --> 00:00:51,351
The night perked up the day no end.

8
00:00:51,376 --> 00:00:53,782
- Same here.
- Thank you for asking.

9
00:00:54,046 --> 00:00:55,930
I mean, not that I'm being sarcastic.

10
00:00:55,955 --> 00:00:57,548
I mean, really, thank you for asking.

11
00:00:57,984 --> 00:01:00,434
I had a spring in my step
for the first time in months.

12
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,270
Happy to oblige.

13
00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:03,895
I hope it didn't feel
like an obligation.

14
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:05,707
No, no, of course not.

15
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,510
Although, as you pointed
out on many occasions,

16
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:08,814
it sort of is within a marriage.

17
00:01:08,846 --> 00:01:10,766
Well, I think we should
remain entirely positive.

18
00:01:11,015 --> 00:01:12,814
Last night was a big step forward for us

19
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,283
in our current circumstances.

20
00:01:14,561 --> 00:01:15,695
Agreed.

21
00:01:15,799 --> 00:01:18,219
I have been tweeting and
Instagramming about it all day.

22
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:19,311
Instagramming?

23
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:21,551
Oh, right.

24
00:01:21,774 --> 00:01:23,887
I note, however, that tweeting
would have been fine.

25
00:01:24,547 --> 00:01:26,416
- Did it feel weird?
- You first.

26
00:01:26,742 --> 00:01:28,182
Why should I answer my own question?

27
00:01:29,231 --> 00:01:30,952
Okay, but first I want
to ask you something.

28
00:01:30,977 --> 00:01:33,468
- Unconnected to the weirdness?
- Connected to the sex.

29
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:35,540
Only tangentially
connected to the weirdness.

30
00:01:35,582 --> 00:01:36,582
Okay.

31
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:37,921
Was it, um...?

32
00:01:39,084 --> 00:01:41,740
- Did you enjoy it?
- Yes!

33
00:01:42,154 --> 00:01:45,674
Yeah, of... Yes! Of course
I... Of course I did.

34
00:01:47,328 --> 00:01:48,334
I mean...

35
00:01:48,637 --> 00:01:51,389
Now, you have to answer my question
in light of that information.

36
00:01:51,414 --> 00:01:52,974
I didn't want to make a fool of myself.

37
00:01:53,288 --> 00:01:55,191
- How would you have done that?
- If you'd said something like,

38
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:56,592
"No, it was a complete waste of time."

39
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:57,915
A complete waste of...?

40
00:01:58,594 --> 00:02:01,340
I mean I guess I could
have been reading Proust.

41
00:02:02,086 --> 00:02:03,199
But I could have been doing that

42
00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:05,166
instead of every sexual
encounter I've ever had.

43
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:06,200
Or during.

44
00:02:06,225 --> 00:02:09,337
I just meant some phrase
expressing dissatisfaction.

45
00:02:09,362 --> 00:02:11,897
No dissatisfaction whatsoever.

46
00:02:12,398 --> 00:02:13,909
So this is all in the
context of what was,

47
00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:15,176
to all intents and purposes,

48
00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:17,767
a mutually fulfilling sexual experience.

49
00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:21,516
Mm, yes. No, you've
chosen the perfect language

50
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:23,318
to describe our lovemaking to a panel

51
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:24,721
of parliamentary ombudsmen.

52
00:02:25,463 --> 00:02:26,463
Carry on.

53
00:02:26,488 --> 00:02:27,595
It felt weird.

54
00:02:28,475 --> 00:02:29,475
It did a bit.

55
00:02:29,570 --> 00:02:31,154
- You agree?
- Yeah.

56
00:02:31,261 --> 00:02:33,962
It was... Well, it just
wasn't like marital sex at all.

57
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,470
I know. It was a bit
like I would imagine...

58
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,314
... post-prison sex to be.

59
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:41,770
Post-prison sex?

60
00:02:42,262 --> 00:02:43,862
Well, which one of
us has been in prison?

61
00:02:44,305 --> 00:02:46,174
Well, you. I mean, more than me anyway.

62
00:02:46,246 --> 00:02:47,775
You can't describe it comparatively.

63
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,098
You've either been in or you haven't.

64
00:02:49,122 --> 00:02:51,671
Well, we've both been in
prison, sexually speaking,

65
00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:52,847
I mean apart from my...

66
00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:54,116
- Mistakes.
- Yes, and you should know

67
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,323
that my mistakes did
not in any way, um...

68
00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:58,954
Well, they didn't commute the sentence,

69
00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:00,621
- if you see what I mean.
- No.

70
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,158
Well, if the prison sentence is defined

71
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:07,095
by how much time you served
before... before release.

72
00:03:07,342 --> 00:03:09,823
Yeah, I don't know how you could
describe prison any other way.

73
00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:13,434
Yes, but if you're talking
about a sexual prison,

74
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:16,073
you're talking about
sexual release so...

75
00:03:17,445 --> 00:03:18,445
Oh.

76
00:03:19,451 --> 00:03:21,153
And there was no release of that kind?

77
00:03:21,436 --> 00:03:22,436
No.

78
00:03:23,154 --> 00:03:24,514
Well, that wasn't what it was about.

79
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,927
And I wasn't really in the
right frame of mind, anyway.

80
00:03:27,312 --> 00:03:28,312
Well...

81
00:03:28,758 --> 00:03:32,209
Well, that... That puts a whole
different complexion on things.

82
00:03:32,441 --> 00:03:35,016
If you don't mind me saying,
that's quite a relief to me.

83
00:03:36,471 --> 00:03:38,760
I slept with someone else
because I wasn't feeling close

84
00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:39,961
to any adult human being.

85
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:43,570
I was... lonely and I didn't feel wanted.

86
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:44,743
Mm.

87
00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:48,628
Yeah. No fireworks, though.

88
00:03:49,037 --> 00:03:52,413
No, no fireworks,
just warmth and solace.

89
00:03:54,428 --> 00:03:56,577
In terms of the prison sex thing,

90
00:03:56,805 --> 00:03:58,440
what would I have been in prison for?

91
00:03:58,792 --> 00:03:59,792
Oh, nothing bad.

92
00:03:59,945 --> 00:04:01,582
It must have been bad by definition.

93
00:04:01,607 --> 00:04:04,319
Yeah, but tax evasion, insider
trading, that sort of thing.

94
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:07,722
Those people are the pits,
also not terribly sexy.

95
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,992
Neither are people who've been
lifting weights for 15 years

96
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:11,203
and are covered in tattoos.

97
00:04:11,228 --> 00:04:13,195
I mean, I would be scared to
have sex with one of those.

98
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:15,699
I can't imagine you would have
married one in the first place.

99
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,632
No, but I might have met him on Tinder

100
00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:18,658
or one of those things.

101
00:04:18,683 --> 00:04:20,523
All the same, I can't
imagine you would have...

102
00:04:21,169 --> 00:04:23,754
swiped whichever way you swipe.

103
00:04:23,994 --> 00:04:26,074
- How do you know you swipe?
- It's common knowledge.

104
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,114
Not to me.

105
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:28,968
So, just to be clear,

106
00:04:28,993 --> 00:04:33,544
it was good, honest, non-threatening

107
00:04:33,588 --> 00:04:35,119
tax-evader sex

108
00:04:35,387 --> 00:04:37,819
rather than tattooed manslaughter sex?

109
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:41,122
Exactly, but actually,
without all the shortcomings

110
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:43,116
that might be implied
by the prison sentence.

111
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,585
What shortcomings are
implied by tax-evader sex?

112
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,161
No, not the tax evasion.

113
00:04:47,186 --> 00:04:48,826
It's not the tax
evasion that's important.

114
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:52,690
It's the release from prison,
so the obvious shortcomings.

115
00:04:52,738 --> 00:04:54,556
Oh, I think I managed to avoid those.

116
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,321
- You know you did.
- I thought I had.

117
00:04:56,583 --> 00:04:59,203
Still, good to have it confirmed.

118
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:08,444
But it wasn't just sex to you, was it?

119
00:05:09,380 --> 00:05:11,351
- What do you mean?
- Without feelings.

120
00:05:13,482 --> 00:05:15,790
How would that work? You
think I just picked you up

121
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:16,891
for a meaningless fling

122
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,366
after we'd put our children to bed?

123
00:05:18,463 --> 00:05:20,672
No, but I wondered if I was just a body.

124
00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:22,430
I don't know, it felt somehow

125
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:24,757
as if you'd separated my parts from me.

126
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:26,601
I think that's just the prison effect.

127
00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:27,626
I suppose so, yes.

128
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:31,072
- And it was good sex.
- Yes, really good sex,

129
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:33,633
but sort of unsettlingly good.

130
00:05:34,205 --> 00:05:36,665
Are you suggesting that we
had the wrong kind of sex?

131
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:39,014
I thought any sex at this
point was the right kind of sex.

132
00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:41,201
That is what I thought before yesterday.

133
00:05:42,659 --> 00:05:43,760
I remember...

134
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,055
I think it was a couple of
years after the boys were born

135
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,955
and you were feeling
fat and unattractive.

136
00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:48,980
Thank you.

137
00:05:49,181 --> 00:05:50,427
I didn't think you were
fat and unattractive.

138
00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:51,767
You thought you were
fat and unattractive.

139
00:05:51,791 --> 00:05:53,127
- Go on.
- Anyway, you asked me,

140
00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:54,996
right after we'd had sex,

141
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,223
if I'd only wanted to because I love you

142
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,777
instead of... because I fancied you.

143
00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:02,370
Well, that's what I
felt then, ten years ago,

144
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:04,084
and now I feel something different.

145
00:06:04,109 --> 00:06:07,275
Okay, but given that you've spent
the years from then until now

146
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:10,378
in this industrial
tumble-dryer of motherhood,

147
00:06:10,639 --> 00:06:11,775
doesn't it feel good?

148
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,158
- Meaning what exactly?
- Meaning,

149
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:18,953
isn't it nice to be a
sex object in your 40s

150
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:20,789
and exactly what you would
have wanted in your 30s

151
00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:22,292
when you were feeling
fat and unattractive?

152
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:23,519
Can you stop saying those words

153
00:06:23,543 --> 00:06:24,693
- over and over again?
- I don't think that you're fat.

154
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,489
Don't think that... Nobody
could accuse you of being fat.

155
00:06:28,372 --> 00:06:29,852
- But unattractive?
- Or unattractive.

156
00:06:30,075 --> 00:06:31,396
You waited a beat too long there.

157
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:35,002
You just basically admitted that
you thought I was fat back then.

158
00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:37,038
Okay, I don't know what to say now.

159
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,348
Well, just say the right thing
and you won't have to worry.

160
00:06:39,372 --> 00:06:40,472
How about this?

161
00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:44,749
You were never fat and I
always find you attractive.

162
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:48,656
And any type of sex with
you is the right kind of sex.

163
00:06:48,681 --> 00:06:50,284
God. Are you trying to butter me up?

164
00:06:50,309 --> 00:06:51,954
- That depends. Is it working?
- I don't know.

165
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:54,623
You getting out of prison
doesn't make me a sex object.

166
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,712
It just means I was conveniently placed.

167
00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,453
I hate to be unromantic,

168
00:06:58,903 --> 00:07:02,704
but convenient placement is
the definition of married sex.

169
00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:05,600
I put down my book, I look
to the other side of the bed

170
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,735
- and there you are.
- Yes, but that's different.

171
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,219
Last night...

172
00:07:09,821 --> 00:07:12,777
it felt as though I was a
conveniently placed stranger.

173
00:07:12,851 --> 00:07:14,876
People pay a lot of money
to turn their husbands

174
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,132
into conveniently placed strangers.

175
00:07:16,156 --> 00:07:17,362
Oh, God. Who do they pay?

176
00:07:17,387 --> 00:07:19,730
I'm talking about sex
therapy and whatnot.

177
00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:21,127
"Make it strange."

178
00:07:21,155 --> 00:07:23,235
Isn't that what they're
always saying? And it worked.

179
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,120
But it's not gonna work
for long, though, is it?

180
00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:27,088
Okay. I give up.

181
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,322
Why? We're getting somewhere.

182
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:30,191
No, we stopped making love

183
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:31,941
because you were bored and I knew it.

184
00:07:32,306 --> 00:07:34,029
And then we started again
and you weren't bored

185
00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:37,165
but you missed the boredom
because it made you feel weird.

186
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:40,068
And now you're lamenting the
inevitable lack of weirdness

187
00:07:40,616 --> 00:07:41,869
if we do it more often.

188
00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:43,604
Yes, I see that that could be confusing.

189
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,706
But I don't like you
saying "if we do it again".

190
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:47,275
- Why?
- Because in an ideal world,

191
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,960
I'd only want sex with you.

192
00:07:50,255 --> 00:07:51,255
Wow.

193
00:07:51,803 --> 00:07:54,148
- Is that really worth a "wow"?
- God, yes.

194
00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:58,009
I had no idea. That's
pretty romantic for you.

195
00:07:58,034 --> 00:08:01,012
Really? The "ideal world" part
is a pretty big get-out clause.

196
00:08:01,037 --> 00:08:02,044
Right.

197
00:08:02,069 --> 00:08:04,086
Because, let's face it,
this is not an ideal world.

198
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:08,344
No. Wait, do you mean our
world or the actual world?

199
00:08:08,766 --> 00:08:11,840
I wouldn't necessarily need
the actual world to be ideal

200
00:08:11,865 --> 00:08:13,345
before committing to monogamy, but...

201
00:08:13,513 --> 00:08:17,282
Okay. Still, you weren't saying
quite as much as I thought.

202
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,065
- Oh, shit.
- What?

203
00:08:19,258 --> 00:08:21,005
Oh, no, she's on her own.

204
00:08:21,714 --> 00:08:22,714
Oh, dear.

205
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,449
Well, he probably just
wasn't well enough to come.

206
00:08:25,473 --> 00:08:27,114
Hopefully, otherwise...

207
00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:28,637
Maybe it's got nothing
to do with his health.

208
00:08:28,661 --> 00:08:31,452
Maybe they've split up. Maybe
he told her where to get off.

209
00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:33,437
Maybe she's shagging
around. That'd be good.

210
00:08:33,528 --> 00:08:34,536
Why would that be good?

211
00:08:34,561 --> 00:08:36,592
I thought you'd take rather
a dim view of infidelity.

212
00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:38,260
I take rather a dim
view of your infidelity.

213
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:39,776
I don't care about hers.

214
00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,978
Why? Because it means
there's still fight?

215
00:08:44,061 --> 00:08:46,180
Yes, exactly that.

216
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:48,610
There's still life.

217
00:08:49,592 --> 00:08:51,161
Nothing's fixed.

218
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,670
Everything's uncertain and I like that.

219
00:08:54,336 --> 00:08:56,913
Nothing is irreversible.
See, isn't that the point?

220
00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,815
You can still look around
to see what's available

221
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:00,917
no matter how old you are.

222
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,458
That's right.

223
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,345
I think you should move back in.

224
00:09:10,192 --> 00:09:13,592
www.subtitulamos.tv