There's a saying we hear a lot around hospitals...
that goes like this...
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."
It didn't work.
But I doubt the person who coined it
ever went through major surgery.
It didn't work.
Or maybe they didn't mean physical pain.
Maybe they meant the other kind...
the worse kind.
- Is Meredith in there? - Yes.
I'm gonna go talk to her.
Uh... Not a good idea, all right?
Okay, right now she looks and sounds just like her mother.
Okay? I mean, best we just lay low,
let her work this out herself.
Believe me. I had to learn it the hard way.
- With Ellis? - Both of them.
I think we should go in.
Maybe they meant the kind of searing, seething,
boiling pain that tells you you're a failure and a fraud.
Well, I hope you don't want any coffee, 'cause I broke all the mugs.
"Suffering is optional."
That person didn't know what the... they were talking about.
Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com
Excuse me. Scusi!
Sorry. That's the only word I know in Italian.
Um, why are we speaking Italian?
He's my stupid little brother.
Um... hi. Uh, excuse me.
I'm still here!
I-I still don't speak Italian.
You know what? Have fun.
I'm gonna sleep at the hospital.
Wha... Ugh!
Agh! He's such a baby boy!
Trying to pretend like sex doesn't exist
just because he isn't having any.
Andrew's Italian?
Andrea is his given name.
Huh.
Where were we?
I think... I'm pretty sure
that you were about to take off your shirt.
I think so, too.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry for Megan.
- But? - But I'm so glad she doesn't have to go
back to Iraq right away.
Is that awful? Am I awful?
Yeah.
Pretty awful.
You ready? Tuck's gonna late if we don't...
I don't want to.
You don't want to ride with me?
I don't want to stuff my feet into these shoes.
You know, when Webber became chief,
he did not have to toddle around on sticks all day.
When Hunt became chief,
he did not have to squeeze five toes
into a space built for two.
But I become chief and I can't wear
my perfectly comfortable surgical clogs anymore.
And you know why?
- Society? - S... Society.
Um...
I'm comin'!
Okay.
You sent the kids to school and went back to bed?
- Don't judge me. - Don't judge her.
I'm not. Look. She'll heal, right?
- Eventually, the wound will close. - It'll close.
Yeah, it'll be ugly and painful.
Probably worse than it was before.
And it'll take months to heal. She won't be able to travel.
But it will close.
You'll use mesh, and it'll take time, but it will close.
And now she has a functioning bowel, which she...
- Stop! - You mad at yourself?
Think you were wrong to try?
Yeah, I'm mad at myself. I was overconfident.
And I'm also mad at medicine.
Fair enough, but don't take it out on the wall.
Well, you did a terrible job patching it.
You can see the whole entire outline.
All right, well, just stop picking at it
before we have to replace the whole damn thing.
- Alex. - Hmm?
That's it.
That's it!
- Meredith? - Not till everyone gets here.
Till... Okay, who's everyone?
I got your text.
Dr. Altman.
An abdominal-wall transplant.
I want to do an abdominal-wall transplant on Megan Hunt.
I want to harvest the skin, the musculature,
and the fascia from a donor.
This surgery has been done three times before, twice successfully.
But they were done
with a simultaneous small-bowel transplant.
So this is easier because we've already repaired her bowel.
And I would use a bone graft to limit our risk of rejection.
I mean, we keep trying to fix this thing,
and the more we try to fix it, the worse it gets.
So why do we keep trying to fix it?
Let's just replace it.
All right, well, what do you need from us?
Well, I need your approval, and I need you to back me up
in case she doesn't give me her approval.
And I need you here as Megan Hunt's advocate.
I know you think I overstepped by taking on this case.
But I am able to separate the personal and the professional.
And if we do this, I want you to scrub in.
I don't want anyone questioning my motives from this point forward.
So if we're gonna do this, if we're gonna pull this off,
I need everybody on board.
Hey, you left early.
- Yeah, busy day. - Yeah, well, Maggie said a thing
about a thing you apparently said to Maggie?
Hey, you know what? My day is full.
Can you take her to daycare?
- Ah. Hey. - Okay. Bye.
Uh...
Well, do you think that Mommy's avoiding me?
I think Mommy's definitely avoiding Daddy, don't you?
Um, I did a thing.
A stupid thing.
And I know that you don't want to be my new Stephanie,
but until I find a new Stephanie, you're it.
You're who I've got to talk to.
And I need you to tell me exactly how to fix
this incredibly stupid thing!
W-W-W-What the hell did you do?
Hey. There. Hi.
That. I did that.
You left your I.D.,
which I figured you probably need.
My mom found it, which was... awkward.
That was your mom's house?
Livin' at home, you know.
'Cause costs are high.
So, anyway...
see you later, hopefully.
You slept with him?
No. No. I did not sleep.
I had sex with him, and then I left!
You slept with Glasses?
Oh, God.
Oh, wow!
I mean, that's just... That's... Wow.
I want to laugh, too,
but I'm trying so hard to be polite.
What would Stephanie do?
This is a donor abdomen?
Yes, we would use the abdominal skin,
the musculature, the fascia
the same way we would from a donor kidney.
This is groundbreaking.
You know we see a lot of soldiers with Megan's injury.
If she can pull this off, it can change a lot of lives.
If it works, I'll have full function?
- Motor and sensory? - Yes.
And the recovery? Should be a few weeks, not a few months.
- But what if it doesn't work? - Mom!
I don't like this, Megan.
- I don't like it, either. - No one asked you.
Megan, they're just worried.
No, they just want me stuck here.
Because they just got you back!
- They're scared. - Yeah, well, so am I!
You know what else I am?
In pain.
I make a lot of jokes, and I'm addicted to silver linings
because jokes and silver linings kept me alive.
But...
I was a hostage.
And now, without this, I'm a hostage again.
To this bed. To this wound.
And she has a plan to set me free.
And just to be clear, I don't have to be the one who does this.
If you feel more comfortable with Dr. Bailey or Dr. Webber,
that's completely fine with me.
You are my surgeon, Dr. Grey.
Just... promise me that you'll find me a killer set of abs.
I'm gonna need your Sub-I's to help me find that donor.
Uh, I can all but assure you they'll screw up,
but you can try.
You think I can do this?
Yes. I think you can do this.
That 180 from the depths of despair
to the revolutionary solution?
That's impressive.
Yep. That's pure Ellis, too.
- Hi. - Hey!
Uh, I mean... hello.
Uh, yeah. You know what? I'm sorry. I got to, um...
Thank you.
The patient is a 36-year-old Caucasian woman
of Scottish descent,
so we're looking for skin that's more peach than olive.
Is complexion important?
If you were gonna replace a big chunk of your body
with a big chunk of someone else's body,
wouldn't you want the parts to match?
Shouldn't you just call UNOS?
We've tried that. There are no pending donors that match.
This is where you come in.
We want you to scour ERs, chase ambulances...
Isn't that a little predatory?
Well, the woman whose life I'm trying to save
is a military surgeon.
She's saved hundreds of soldiers' lives. She's a hero.
So I'm okay with you feeling a little predatory.
And whoever does find this donor for me
gets to scrub in on the surgery.
It's a good thing.
You want this.
Go!
Hey, hey. Andrew.
Or is it Andrea?
Andrew, please.
Why is your sister talking to Bailey?
I don't know. She asked me to introduce them, so I did.
Well... why?
I-I mean, what does she do?
For a living. What's she do for a living?
I see you two did a lot of talking last night.
She's an OB-GYN.
Huh.
The male brain, in all its facets and all its states,
has been studied quite thoroughly,
but nobody has studied this aspect
of the female anatomy at all until now.
"This aspect," meaning...
The body and the brain,
before, during, and after orgasm.
As with all the other organs,
they study the male brain
and they expect the female brain
to magically fit in with their conclusions.
But as you and I know, our bodies are quite different,
so any medications we might need will also be different.
And your study is funded?
The drug companies have finally realized
that there is money to be made
in developing the equivalent of a female Viagra.
My personal fascination
is with the role sexual stimulation can play
in pain control for women.
But of course, nobody will fund that study.
So this way, two pigeons, one rock.
Uh...
Okay, I understand your hesitation, Dr. Bailey. I-I do.
But when I heard my brother was working
for a female chief of surgery?
Ah, do you know just how rare that is?
Look, let me just get this right.
You want me to let you
have women masturbate in my MRI machine
so that you can study their brains while they orgasm?
Yes.
- In the interest of science? - Yes.
Done.
Well, the good news is you get a fancy, new grown-up room
while they paint the peds ward.
Is there really nothing else we can give him?
I mean, not even an aspirin?
He's maxed out on opiates.
And just one aspirin will do nothing for his pain,
but it'll thin his blood and destroy his chances of a successful surgery.
You understand?
W-What do I do? I mean, this is...
Watching my kid in this much pain, what do I do?
Well, he plays baseball, right? So what do you tell him?
When it's the ninth inning and his team is down and the pressure's on,
you... you say, "You can do it."
You say, "You got this."
David.
You got this.
No, no. She cannot do the surgery.
I didn't ask for his opinion. I asked for his help.
He said no. I moved on. And in case anyone needs reminding,
I am the chief of neurosurgery!
Good for you, but the tumor's invading his jaw.
The difficult part of the surgery is in his face,
not his brain. You are not an ENT.
It is compressing his trigeminal nerve.
It is causing debilitating pain.
And just because you are afraid of it
doesn't mean I have to be!
Avery, if she feels she has it in hand...
Oh, she doesn't. She... She does not have it in hand.
It's not your place to decide that! It's hers!
Her patient, her decision.
Sorry to interrupt.
Jackson, I'm doing a total abdominal-wall transplant,
and I could really use some help with the nerves
and the vascular microanastomosis.
An abdominal-wall transplant?
So you will get on board with her groundbreaking surgery,
but not mine.
Oh, no, yours is not groundbreaking.
Yours is reckless endangerment.
Yes, sir, he's 10 years old. He's a Syrian refugee.
But, General, if I may, she was held hostage
for a decade, and he is her son.
No, he wasn't legally adopted but...
Is there any way to cut through some of this red tape a little faster?
No, not legally, but...
Well, then could you recommend an attorney
who's better than you?! Damn it!
- All right, thank you, sir. - Yes, sir. I'll tell her.
No.
- This surgery could kill her. - This surgery is her best shot.
Her best shot is to lay in that bed and heal.
But she won't. Megan won't.
She's not gonna lie there for six months
with her kid over there, and you know it.
She's going back to Iraq.
And if that wound gets infected...
Owen, this surgery is her best option.
This woman has been dead three days.
Is that too long?
Shotgun to the abdomen.
You don't see a problem here?
You can't repair it?
Did I mention our patient is female?
Yes.
Hello.
Do you need the MRI?
- No. - No.
No. We just heard about the, um...
My study?
Exactly. Yeah.
I'm Maggie Pierce.
I'm the head of cardiothoracic surgery.
Maggie Pierce who used to date my little brother?
- Uh, no, I don't think so. - Uh, DeLuca.
- What? - She's DeLuca's sister.
You're even more beautiful than my stupid little brother said.
I am?! He is? He what? What did he say?
Whoa! Orgasm!
That is the most active uptake I have ever seen on an MRI.
It's bright.
I'm always looking for volunteers
- if any of you have any free time. - No.
- No way. - No, thank you.
Cool study, though!
Jo boned a Sub-I.
Six... What?
Yeah, more specifically, the Sub-I whose glasses...
- No. - Yes.
She did that because you told her
about looking up her husband?
No. I-I didn't tell her about that.
Oh, well, she did it because you're avoiding her
because you're too wimpy to tell her
you looked up her husband.
Maybe she just did it.
Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with me.
Oh, please! Jo is so hot.
She could sleep with anyone she wants.
She chose Glasses? It has everything to do with you.
When I slept with George, it had everything to do with Derek.
I still can't believe you did that.
Okay, we are way too old to be having this conversation.
Okay, just... just tell me why you did it.
Because he was there.
Yeah, that's not an answer.
Because he wasn't Alex.
Mm, still not quite an answer.
Because I choose bad guys, okay?
I choose... really bad guys.
Violent guys.
In the past, I have chosen guys who have hurt me.
What? Like, physically?
Yeah.
If a guy hurts you physically,
that has nothing to do with you or who you choose.
That's not your fault.
And I just don't think Karev is...
I saw him beat Andrew to a pulp.
I didn't think he had that in him, either,
and then I watched it. I...
Well, you have your own history of volatility.
It's self-defense. It's different.
Hey, Jo? I mean, Dr. Wilson.
- Dr. Jo Wilson. - Yes?
You have a minute?
Yeah.
She's 35. Motorcycle accident.
- Wasn't wearing a helmet. - Stupid.
Right. So she's brain-dead.
But no injury to the chest or abdomen.
Name is Shaugnessy, which sounds pretty Scottish.
Or Irish? Definitely pale.
I-I think she's a pretty perfect match.
So what's the problem?
I don't know if it's appropriate to approach a family
while their grief is this fresh.
It's not really appropriate
for you to approach them at all.
Right. But, I-I mean,
I'd really love to scrub in on that surgery, so...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait.
If you find the donor, you get to scrub in?
Page Dr. Grey.
I want to fix it, you know? I want to turn back time.
I just want to get everything right.
I want her to not be captured.
I just want to fix everything. And Meredith says she can.
Meredith says she can fix her.
And all I am is terrified that I'm gonna lose her again.
She doesn't need you to turn back time, Nathan.
She just needs you to be with her.
She needs to know that you're all-in with her.
'Cause anything less than that, anything in between,
is torture.
What do you got?
35-year-old female, fit, Caucasian, brain dead.
Family have approved the donation.
Whew! Do an infectious-disease screen.
Congratulations, Wilson.
If this checks out, you get to scrub in.
- Thank you, Dr. Grey. - Great job.
Get me a coffee.
But she was mine. I found her. I trusted you!
It means nothing to you to scrub in on that surgery.
And after what happened in my O.R.?
She won't even let you near the table.
For me, this could be a game-changer.
That's not an apology! You owe me an apology!
No, she doesn't owe you anything.
- Alex, don't. - She's a senior resident.
You're not even a first year, which makes you a zero year.
You're a zero that dropped a foreign object
in the surgical field of a 7-year-old.
You're only here because Dr. Wilson
handled your screw-up and covered your ass.
- Got it?! - Yeah. I-I'm a zero.
Okay.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
It's... It's funny.
I can't believe you...
I know!
We have to ta...
Hey, so, I had to go to three different bakeries, but I found cinnamon cake.
- She can't eat. - I know.
But she said she wanted to smell it, so...
You sent him on a fool's errand?
I needed some time for us to all get on the same page.
- What same page? - Sit down, Owen.
We need to talk to you.
What about? About your sham of a marriage.
Oh, you got this, buddy.
You got this.
I'm so proud of you.
Dr. Shepherd, are you sure that this surgery
is the right thing for Beau?
No one's ever sure of anything, DeLuca.
Stop trying to be sure. It's a losing battle.
I-I just...
I feel like you're adding pain to his pain...
for a surgery that you're not sure about
on a tumor that is benign.
Because his pain is not benign.
You think it's a better plan to send him home with no hope and an oxy habit?
He will be a shell of the kid he once was.
A ghost. An addict. This pain will waste him.
I will not send that family home with no hope.
Not when there's a chance I can fix it.
Been thinking about your thing.
Don't want to. Can't stop.
Can I call you New Stephanie?
Yeah.
Uh, okay. Here's my heartfelt advice.
I hear what you're saying,
but I think Karev thought DeLuca was hurting you.
And I get that you have some kind of history with bad guys,
but I just don't think you should feel like
Karev is that kind of guy.
Uh. No. Oh, no.
You do not get to tell a woman how she should feel
after she witnesses something like what she witnessed
between Karev and DeLuca.
You don't know what it's like to be female
watching men assert their authority
by throwing lethal punches.
You don't get an opinion on this.
You know... you're right.
You don't have to listen to anyone on this
because you are a powerful woman and you know your own mind.
- Thank you, Chief. - Mm-hmm.
But Karev is a puppy dog. And he wouldn't hurt a fly.
Unless he thought that fly was hurting you.
- That's not true! - She's entirely absent.
She said hello to me that first morning and then she left.
She wanted to give us space.
That's literally all she gives you.
And I'm not the only one that sees it.
You seemed happy at your wedding mostly,
although she was awfully late.
Wait! She was late to the wedding?
- She... panicked. - And you married her anyway?
Teddy, could you please explain that marriage
isn't as simple as my sister would want it to be?
I'm with her, Owen.
You married a patient
because he needed your medical insurance.
Because he would've died without it.
- Sounds noble to me. - It was.
Yeah, and then you fell in love with him.
- You did? - Because he was amazing.
She's not here, Owen.
She's in this hospital. I see her walking the halls.
But she's not here.
Your family is gathered.
Is she family or not?
I don't need her here.
And you don't see a problem with that?
Why is your wife not the person you turn to
- for comfort? - Okay! You said it!
Okay? All of you. And I heard it.
- Is that it? - No, that's not it!
Whatever happens in your stupid marriage...
if I die...
I need you to promise me that you'll take care of Farouk.
You'll do whatever you have to do.
You'll move wherever you have to move.
He is one half of my heart, and you are the other half,
and I need to know that you've got him.
- Damn it, Megan. - What?
I was gonna storm out, and you just made that really hard!
That was the whole design!
Ow. Ow. Don't me laugh.
Hey, babe.
Hey.
Are we laughing or crying?
Both.
Well, sorry to be the one to break up the party,
but I was hoping to get a little time alone with Megan.
Hey.
Arizona, hi! Come in. Close the door.
So, um... do you have a patient in there now?
No. Just reviewing scans.
Wow!
Right? Aren't they beautiful?
Yes. Gosh. Wow. They're so colorful.
Mm-hmm.
And... you see here?
Here's where the tension's building.
And here...
...a little more tension.
Uh-huh... uh...
And here...
We're building...
toward climax.
Uh-huh.
And here... we have...
...release.
Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.
The female brain is a magical place.
Ow!
- Oh, no! - Mm-hmm.
Do not get down on that floor.
That is nasty. You do not need to be down there.
- Are you gonna let me get through this? - Probably not!
Okay, I made a real mess of this the first time.
So I'd appreciate it if you'd shut up
- and let me get through it this time. - Okay, I'm sorry.
It's hurting my knees.
Megan Hunt...
I have loved you since the day I met you.
I don't know how I got through these last 10 years without you.
And now that you're back, I don't want to spend
one more day without knowing that you and I have actually...
We have a match, Megan.
Oh.
Whoa. Sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm...
No, no, no. Don't... Don't be sorry.
I need that flesh to be fresh when you sew it on me.
We can do this another time.
Are you ready?
- Are you? - Absolutely.
Let's do this.
Hey.
- How's Megan? - She's gone to surgery.
Amelia, can we talk? I just need a minute.
Amelia, I'm afraid that something's wrong.
I mean, I know... I know you go to your AA meetings
and they seem to help,
but I think you need something else.
Maybe... Maybe therapy. Maybe medication.
I think you still have PTSD from your brother's death.
I don't know. I don't know because I'm not a shrink.
But I know the amazing person you are,
and no one in my life sees that.
The people who love me don't see that.
So when I look at you through their eyes...
...I think something's wrong and I want to help.
Your sister doesn't like me...
so I need therapy?
Your friend who is clearly in love with you
does not like me, so I need medication?
Your mom, who's with a man half her age, doesn't like me,
so I need help?
Well, thank you for the offer.
But I am about to go perform a medical miracle,
so I kind of need to focus.
Amelia, I-I...
Oh, and, um, if you want Teddy as much as she wants you,
you can have her.
Really. It's no skin off my back.
The Sub-I with the glasses... he found the donor.
Sorry.
If you want to be a shark, be a shark.
Don't apologize for it.
Ten blade.
Prep the recipient for the anastomosis.
Now, that's what it is.
You came here to find out what your biological mother was like?
There it is.
Right there.
Do you and Meredith sit in galleries
and watch me while I operate
and talk about how much I'm like Ellis?
'Cause I'm kind of a hotshot myself, if you haven't noticed.
Top of my class at Yale. Youngest-ever head of cardio.
When I'm impressed with you,
I don't immediately credit Ellis.
I guess I like to take a little of that credit for myself.
But maybe I shouldn't.
'Cause after that competitive rant you just had?
Pure Ellis.
I'm Stephanie.
What?
Jo's been talking to me today, confiding in me, and...
I think women keep each other's secrets
no matter how much unnecessary drama that may cause.
But I can't, so I'm just gonna tell you that...
she's afraid of you.
What?
She thinks you could hurt her.
Not emotionally.
She's afraid that you could hurt her like you hurt DeLuca.
Look at that. You see the mastoid?
It's been completely destroyed by the tumor.
And the nerve compression. The pain must've been...
Unbearable.
Okay, DeLuca, I'm gonna need you to do me a favor.
Well, hot damn.
Would you look at that? That is a perfect fit.
Dr. Avery? Dr. Shepherd needs you in O.R. two.
Little busy here, DeLuca. Uh, yeah, but...
she's got Beau Martinez on the table.
- And h-his jaw is... - You've got to be kidding me!
I can't believe you called me out of a surgery
because you started something you don't know how to finish.
Well, you said you wouldn't take his jaw apart.
That's right! So I took it apart.
I just need you to put it back together again.
It's a little like LEGOS, which I was never any good at.
I can't make this piece fit.
My arms are a little weak.
- Can you...? - Yeah.
You ready?
Oh... wow.
Can you give us a minute?
Am I alive?
You are.
- Dad? - I'm right here, son.
It's not hurting.
It doesn't hurt.
That's great. That's great. Great.
Wow. That was incredible.
Right? That smile? That is why we do what we do.
Nope. That was not bravery or victory.
That was stupidity. And you got lucky.
You just can't be wrong, can you?
DeLuca, why don't we look at this as a teaching moment, huh?
You saw how she handled that. You realize how lucky she is
that I'm as good as I am,
how lucky she is that I didn't report her to the medical board.
Because this is exactly the kind of thing
that would prompt them to reevaluate
her license to practice medicine.
Do you understand me?
- Yes, sir. - Good.
You keep it up, and your luck is gonna run out.
You should've seen what Shepherd tried...
Shh. I just got her down.
So, we gonna talk about what you said to Maggie or what?
Why? Why would we do that?
We never talk about anything that matters.
April, come on. What... What is this?
Montana.
We never talked about what happened in Montana.
Would you like to? I didn't realize we needed to.
Look, Jackson, I get that you're really good at compartmentalizing.
You know, like, I'm your friend, I'm your person,
I'm Harriet's mom, and sometimes we have sex
and that's totally okay with you.
I get it.
It's just that you are a lot better at it than I am.
Montana actually caused me pain.
Yeah, I thought I was...
I thought I was good. I thought it was fine.
But then I spent weeks wondering what it was.
And if it was nothing,
then it's just, like, casual sex.
Which, to me is...
I...
It causes me pain, the way that we're doing this.
And I... I don't... I think I probably have to move out.
- I can't believe it. - What?
Megan. And what Grey did.
I mean, that surgery is gonna put her on the map.
Did you talk to Amelia?
Yeah. Didn't go real well.
I'm sorry.
You know she hasn't stayed at home in months?
A lot of months.
She doesn't touch me.
We don't...
She doesn't want to be married to me.
She said...
What? W-What did she say?
Owen.
You... You're married.
And you... are conflicted.
And you...
You are my favorite human on the planet.
And if we are meant to be more in this lifetime,
it can't start with you cheating on... on... on... on your wife.
She doesn't care.
But I care! And you care!
And I know you, Owen.
I know your guilt. I know your shame.
And I know what it'll do to you, so...
Let me stay your favorite person for now
and you stay mine, okay?
Okay.
I am s... I am so sorry. I...
No, no, no. No. No. No.
No. We are okay.
We are okay.
Dr. DeLuca, you still looking for volunteers?
Always.
Because I am in the mood to celebrate.
Okay.
Ooh! Toys!
Purple, I think.
Nope... hot pink.
You're really getting rid of all of them, huh?
I don't even want to look at them.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Y-Y-You...
What about these? Y-You getting rid of these, too?
These are the least comfortable pair.
Only if you try to stand up in them.
Ooh.
You're so...
- Come here. - What? What?
Sit down. These are my shoes.
Hey. Ciao.
Did you have to come to the hospital I work at
to have women... masturbate in the MRI?
You don't think that's the tiniest bit inappropriate?
No.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Who... Who is that?
In the MRI. You said it was a friend of mine?
As surgeons, we try to eliminate pain.
As humans, we just try like hell to avoid it.
You have a minute?
Did you come to laugh at me again?
No.
You know, I-I found your husband.
- What? - I hired a guy. I-I found his name.
I looked him up. And...
And then I went and found him.
Oh, my God, Alex.
Look.
You didn't ask me to do that,
and you... you didn't give me permission to do that,
and it was wrong, and I-I'm sorry.
And, Jo, I-I swear to God,
I could never, ever hurt you.
My dad, he... he was like your ex.
I'm not like that, all right? I'm not like my dad.
I mean, I do... I do things that are wrong.
I do things that are stupid.
But... I swear to you...
I would never hurt you.
- You saw Paul? - Yeah.
- And you didn't kill him? - No.
I mean, I thought about it.
But I-I-I... came home instead.
Okay.
When we can't avoid pain, we try to understand it...
Hey.
How's everything with Megan?
Yeah, she's...
She's perfect. Thank you. You, um... You were incredible.
So what are you doing out here?
Well, um...
She doesn't want to be with me.
She, uh...
She thinks I'm still in love with you.
Meredith!
Hey, look. Can we talk?!
...with pithy little quotes
that we can wrap our heads around...
All right! Let's see my brain on...
Whoa! That is a beautiful tumor.
...like "Suffering is optional"...
Whose brain is that?
...or "Time heals all wounds"...
and my personal favorite, "Every pain has a purpose."
God, I hope that one's true.
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