1 00:00:01,060 --> 00:00:03,792 We're still short-staffed so if you happen 2 00:00:03,793 --> 00:00:05,927 to be walking through the parking lot at night 3 00:00:05,928 --> 00:00:08,715 and there's a loose cart, maybe just grab it 4 00:00:08,716 --> 00:00:10,416 and stick it in the corral. 5 00:00:10,418 --> 00:00:13,452 Gotta round up those doggies, yee-haw... 6 00:00:13,454 --> 00:00:15,688 That's the saddest "yee-haw" I've ever heard. 7 00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:17,590 Yeah, I... I bailed on it. Carol? 8 00:00:17,592 --> 00:00:21,451 I hate to even bring this up, but should Sandra be here? 9 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,262 I thought she was fired. 10 00:00:23,264 --> 00:00:24,730 Yes. She was. 11 00:00:24,732 --> 00:00:27,600 Until she started talking about unions. 12 00:00:27,602 --> 00:00:29,635 Apparently firing someone for trying to unionize 13 00:00:29,637 --> 00:00:32,037 is considered retaliation. I would accompany 14 00:00:32,039 --> 00:00:33,806 that statement with a vigorous jerking-back-and-forth 15 00:00:33,808 --> 00:00:36,296 hand gesture, but that's also prohibited. 16 00:00:36,611 --> 00:00:38,577 Okay. Now for the rest of you cowpokes, 17 00:00:38,579 --> 00:00:40,179 let's saddle up and git! 18 00:00:40,181 --> 00:00:41,747 - Oof. - The Western thing 19 00:00:41,749 --> 00:00:43,682 is just not in your wheelhouse. 20 00:00:43,684 --> 00:00:45,885 Amy, could I say a few words? 21 00:00:45,887 --> 00:00:47,405 Um, okay. 22 00:00:48,556 --> 00:00:50,033 Screw management! 23 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:53,192 - Okay. - Once we clock out 24 00:00:53,194 --> 00:00:55,427 Amy can't make us do a damn thing. 25 00:00:55,428 --> 00:00:57,470 If you see a loose cart in the parking lot, 26 00:00:57,471 --> 00:00:59,665 you can kick it over or shove it into traffic. 27 00:00:59,667 --> 00:01:01,634 Seems like just as much work? 28 00:01:01,636 --> 00:01:04,904 Also, managers can't give us polygraph tests. 29 00:01:04,906 --> 00:01:07,373 I wasn't planning on giving anyone a polygraph test. 30 00:01:07,487 --> 00:01:08,398 Well, good. 31 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,668 'Cause we ain't taking one, Amy. 32 00:01:11,345 --> 00:01:13,178 - Mm-hmm. - Stay strong, people. 33 00:01:15,977 --> 00:01:20,813 Whoo! 34 00:01:20,838 --> 00:01:23,522 We have a right to healthy air quality 35 00:01:23,524 --> 00:01:26,667 and adequate airflow. Do you feel any airflow? 36 00:01:26,668 --> 00:01:28,127 'Cause I don't feel any airflow. 37 00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,062 You thinks he actually cares about any of this stuff 38 00:01:30,064 --> 00:01:31,797 or is it just about getting attention? 39 00:01:31,799 --> 00:01:34,642 I mean, it's definitely the attention. 40 00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:37,069 A week ago she was eating lunch by herself in the bathroom 41 00:01:37,071 --> 00:01:40,239 and now, well, she's the AOC of Store 1217. 42 00:01:40,241 --> 00:01:43,279 It's crazy how she can just go with it when this is all 43 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,144 based on tweets that we wrote. 44 00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:46,512 Do you think all great leaders 45 00:01:46,514 --> 00:01:48,380 are just sociopaths living a lie? 46 00:01:48,382 --> 00:01:49,448 Um... 47 00:01:49,517 --> 00:01:50,883 Yeah, probably. 48 00:01:50,885 --> 00:01:52,484 I mean, even Obama had those guys 49 00:01:52,486 --> 00:01:54,653 who made him feel "good" at basketball. 50 00:02:02,781 --> 00:02:05,108 Yo, those dressing rooms are trashed. 51 00:02:05,133 --> 00:02:06,908 It's like "The Leftovers" in there. 52 00:02:09,937 --> 00:02:12,137 You know, like that show where everybody disappears 53 00:02:12,139 --> 00:02:14,191 and all that's left is the pile of their clothes? 54 00:02:14,575 --> 00:02:15,941 You're a terrible person. 55 00:02:16,644 --> 00:02:19,341 - Okay? - Dina told us about the birds. 56 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:20,919 - Oh. - Oh? 57 00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:22,348 Is that what it's called 58 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:24,650 when you let someone's birds escape 59 00:02:24,652 --> 00:02:26,352 and then let her think it's her fault 60 00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:29,922 and you go to her place and you put your filth in her? 61 00:02:29,924 --> 00:02:31,824 Look, guys, I feel really bad about it. 62 00:02:31,826 --> 00:02:34,793 You know, I used to think that you were a nice guy 63 00:02:34,795 --> 00:02:36,996 who just said mean things to people to be funny, 64 00:02:36,998 --> 00:02:40,432 but now I feel like maybe you're just a mean person. 65 00:02:40,434 --> 00:02:42,234 I'm so disappointed in you, Garrett. 66 00:02:42,236 --> 00:02:45,571 - Glenn, I... you gotta... - Oh! And by the way, 67 00:02:45,573 --> 00:02:47,714 have you ever even seen "The Leftovers"? 68 00:02:48,075 --> 00:02:50,142 The clothes disappear too, dick. 69 00:02:51,545 --> 00:02:53,635 Everybody's acting like I killed their birds. 70 00:02:53,848 --> 00:02:55,681 Not that I killed Dina's birds. 71 00:02:55,683 --> 00:02:57,549 I mean, they could still be alive, as far as we know. 72 00:02:57,551 --> 00:02:59,118 Yeah, I mean, it's only been 73 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,620 a few months and one of the coldest winters on record, 74 00:03:01,622 --> 00:03:03,522 they could be barely clinging to life somewhere. 75 00:03:03,524 --> 00:03:05,524 I mean, even Glenn thinks I'm a bad person, 76 00:03:05,526 --> 00:03:06,992 and he sees the good in everyone. 77 00:03:06,994 --> 00:03:08,827 And when that warehouse guy on meth choked him out? 78 00:03:08,829 --> 00:03:11,225 Glen apologized for looking too much like a dragon. 79 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,565 He was on meth? I thought it was bath salts. 80 00:03:13,590 --> 00:03:15,203 Man, how is that relevant to the conversation? 81 00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:17,036 I don't know. I don't know where it's going yet. 82 00:03:17,038 --> 00:03:20,835 Look all I'm saying is maybe Dina's the bad person here. 83 00:03:21,442 --> 00:03:22,887 She kept birds in cages. 84 00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:24,436 Birds are supposed to be free. 85 00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:26,779 So you're actually a hero. 86 00:03:27,449 --> 00:03:28,466 Cool take. 87 00:03:28,489 --> 00:03:29,848 You know what? I saw you eating 88 00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:30,849 a chicken sandwich yesterday. 89 00:03:30,851 --> 00:03:32,251 You're not better than me. 90 00:03:33,788 --> 00:03:35,354 It was a turkey wrap. 91 00:03:35,356 --> 00:03:36,629 Still a bird! 92 00:03:37,408 --> 00:03:39,765 So, Amy, I hear there's some talk 93 00:03:39,790 --> 00:03:41,460 of unionizing down there? 94 00:03:41,462 --> 00:03:43,062 No, no! God, no. 95 00:03:43,064 --> 00:03:45,264 I mean, I wouldn't even call it "talk." 96 00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:46,799 It's just... it's Sandra. 97 00:03:46,801 --> 00:03:49,334 Okay. Amy, this is a big deal. 98 00:03:49,336 --> 00:03:52,104 They're looking at shutting down some of the stores. 99 00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:54,907 - What? - Am I a puppy again? 100 00:03:54,909 --> 00:03:56,175 - I'm sorry, one second. - No, it's fine. 101 00:03:56,177 --> 00:03:57,609 Jeff, it's fine. 102 00:03:57,611 --> 00:04:00,012 Just... what stores are they shutting down? 103 00:04:00,014 --> 00:04:01,980 - Jeff, leave it! - Okay. Fine, sorry. 104 00:04:01,982 --> 00:04:03,649 Just... can you keep this between us? 105 00:04:03,651 --> 00:04:05,584 - Yes! Of course. - We're converting some of 106 00:04:05,586 --> 00:04:07,753 the brick and mortars into distribution centers 107 00:04:07,755 --> 00:04:10,026 And one of those stores is going to come from your district. 108 00:04:10,027 --> 00:04:12,565 So if they hear you're talking about unionizing, 109 00:04:12,566 --> 00:04:14,486 it's going to make their decision a lot easier. 110 00:04:14,487 --> 00:04:16,015 So you need to squash this. 111 00:04:26,874 --> 00:04:28,540 Look. All we have to do 112 00:04:28,542 --> 00:04:30,476 is keep her from talking about unions. 113 00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:31,478 Yes. 114 00:04:31,745 --> 00:04:33,645 - What? - Uh, just feels weird. 115 00:04:33,647 --> 00:04:35,681 Isn't that like literally union-busting? 116 00:04:35,683 --> 00:04:37,282 - No! - What would you call it? 117 00:04:37,284 --> 00:04:38,984 I don't know. It's not like we're 118 00:04:38,986 --> 00:04:41,587 crushing a movement. We're just trying to... 119 00:04:41,589 --> 00:04:42,855 Send her a message? 120 00:04:42,857 --> 00:04:44,157 That sounds like we're breaking her legs. 121 00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:44,928 We just want to... 122 00:04:44,929 --> 00:04:47,493 Neutralize the threat, uh, get rid of the problem, uh, 123 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,135 let her know she's messing with the wrong people. 124 00:04:49,136 --> 00:04:51,163 - Something in that ballpark. - It just feels like a red flag 125 00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:52,826 that everything you say makes us sound like villains. 126 00:04:52,827 --> 00:04:54,500 Look, we're just trying to stop 127 00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:57,836 one lonely desperate lunatic from running her mouth 128 00:04:57,838 --> 00:04:59,605 and costing everybody their jobs. 129 00:04:59,607 --> 00:05:01,940 - We're the good guys. - I guess. 130 00:05:01,942 --> 00:05:04,674 We just want Sandra to do what's best for her fellow workers. 131 00:05:05,446 --> 00:05:06,449 Or else. 132 00:05:07,081 --> 00:05:08,981 As soon as I said it, I heard it. 133 00:05:08,983 --> 00:05:10,282 It's... it's a problem. 134 00:05:16,347 --> 00:05:18,447 Ooh, hey, Myrtle. You look a little chilly. 135 00:05:18,449 --> 00:05:19,516 Thought you might need this. 136 00:05:19,517 --> 00:05:22,084 - Oh, thank you! - Yeah, it's no problem. 137 00:05:22,086 --> 00:05:23,701 This is great! 138 00:05:24,322 --> 00:05:25,754 - Thank you so much! - Hey. Actually, you know what? 139 00:05:25,756 --> 00:05:26,726 Could you give it back to me real quick? 140 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,282 Hey! You can't take my shawl back! 141 00:05:28,283 --> 00:05:29,681 I just... it's just that I want... 142 00:05:29,682 --> 00:05:31,660 Help! He's stealing my shawl! 143 00:05:31,662 --> 00:05:32,991 - Give her back her shawl! - No, no, no! 144 00:05:32,992 --> 00:05:34,430 I brought it to her! I brought it to her! 145 00:05:34,432 --> 00:05:37,016 I'll get you your own shawl, okay? 146 00:05:38,369 --> 00:05:40,145 Here. There you go, sweetie. 147 00:05:40,805 --> 00:05:43,105 - So... cold... - Yeah, I know, I know. 148 00:05:43,107 --> 00:05:45,592 But everything's okay. Everything's gonna be okay. 149 00:05:46,077 --> 00:05:47,177 Rise up. 150 00:05:48,446 --> 00:05:50,640 Stand up for your rights. Power to the people. 151 00:05:51,581 --> 00:05:52,677 Cute top! 152 00:05:52,983 --> 00:05:56,251 Hey, Sandra. Um, handing out some flyers? 153 00:05:56,253 --> 00:05:57,591 Yeah, do you want one? 154 00:05:58,022 --> 00:06:01,429 Sandra says "no" to hate and "yes" to freedom. 155 00:06:02,093 --> 00:06:03,992 Seems uncontroversial. 156 00:06:03,994 --> 00:06:05,260 I'm not a hero. 157 00:06:05,262 --> 00:06:07,896 So, um, Sandra, I-I need you 158 00:06:07,898 --> 00:06:11,667 to stop talking about all this union stuff. 159 00:06:11,669 --> 00:06:13,435 You're not allowed to restrict my speech. 160 00:06:13,437 --> 00:06:15,070 It's for your own good. 161 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,235 Wow. 162 00:06:16,236 --> 00:06:18,580 So now you've got your muscle trying to threaten me? 163 00:06:18,581 --> 00:06:20,008 Jonah? The muscle? 164 00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:21,543 I mean... okay. 165 00:06:21,545 --> 00:06:23,312 Seems like a weird thread to pull. 166 00:06:23,314 --> 00:06:24,733 Did everyone hear that? 167 00:06:24,734 --> 00:06:28,055 Amy is now telling me that I can't even talk about unions. 168 00:06:28,319 --> 00:06:30,340 - No... - Amy, is that true? 169 00:06:30,341 --> 00:06:32,121 I don't think you're allowed to do that. 170 00:06:32,123 --> 00:06:34,523 I was just saying that while she's at work... 171 00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:37,897 This is my work now. The work of justice. 172 00:06:38,195 --> 00:06:39,928 The only work that matters. 173 00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:42,498 Where are you ge... is this from a play? 174 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:43,836 - No. - Sandra, look. 175 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,251 I get that this is fun. 176 00:06:45,536 --> 00:06:47,520 But corporate is taking this seriously. 177 00:06:47,938 --> 00:06:49,238 You hear that, everyone? 178 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,407 Corporate is taking us seriously. 179 00:06:51,409 --> 00:06:53,137 No! What I mean is that 180 00:06:53,138 --> 00:06:55,411 corporate is viewing this as a threat. 181 00:06:55,413 --> 00:06:57,264 And they view us as a threat! 182 00:06:57,265 --> 00:06:59,214 You maybe want to think of your phrasing before 183 00:06:59,216 --> 00:07:00,449 so that you don't twist your words... 184 00:07:00,451 --> 00:07:01,583 Yeah. No, I'm getting that, 185 00:07:01,585 --> 00:07:03,152 Wait, what are you doing? 186 00:07:03,154 --> 00:07:05,320 Can you please not get up on the... 187 00:07:05,322 --> 00:07:07,256 - Okay. - No, if you could just, San... 188 00:07:07,258 --> 00:07:09,861 Management is trying to silence us. 189 00:07:09,886 --> 00:07:12,883 But our voices will be heard. 190 00:07:12,908 --> 00:07:15,497 No, nobody was trying to silence anybody. 191 00:07:15,499 --> 00:07:16,999 She was somewhat. 192 00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,700 - Glenn! - What? You were. 193 00:07:18,702 --> 00:07:22,875 Well, if we can't talk here then we will talk elsewhere. 194 00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:26,487 Union meeting, tonight! Location, TBD. 195 00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:30,524 Time, TBD. Refreshments, T-B-D! 196 00:07:38,622 --> 00:07:41,723 I just wonder if a union will lead to more rules. 197 00:07:41,725 --> 00:07:43,091 Like, what if they start making us 198 00:07:43,093 --> 00:07:44,893 wear gloves when we clean the toilets? 199 00:07:44,895 --> 00:07:46,795 You don't wear gloves when you clean the toilets? 200 00:07:46,797 --> 00:07:48,797 No way. I need my fingernails 201 00:07:48,799 --> 00:07:50,332 to chip away at the caked-on parts. 202 00:07:50,334 --> 00:07:51,934 - Ugh. - Ugh. 203 00:07:51,936 --> 00:07:53,223 What are you guys talking about? 204 00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:54,706 - Feces. - Horses. 205 00:07:55,078 --> 00:07:57,666 - Unions. - Unions? Huh. 206 00:07:58,709 --> 00:08:01,443 Well, you can't talk in here. The break room is closed. 207 00:08:01,445 --> 00:08:02,459 Wait, why? 208 00:08:03,747 --> 00:08:05,343 Because of the radon problem. 209 00:08:05,344 --> 00:08:07,749 - Too much or too little? - I think you know. 210 00:08:07,751 --> 00:08:09,548 But where are we supposed to eat lunch? 211 00:08:09,549 --> 00:08:11,820 That doesn't matter to me as long as you're not together. 212 00:08:11,822 --> 00:08:14,126 So you don't... cross-contaminate each other. 213 00:08:14,592 --> 00:08:16,391 Um, just go eat in your cars or something. 214 00:08:16,393 --> 00:08:17,793 I don't have a car. 215 00:08:17,795 --> 00:08:20,095 Fine, then you can go down to the sub-basement. 216 00:08:20,097 --> 00:08:22,464 Didn't the building inspector say there was radon there, too? 217 00:08:22,466 --> 00:08:23,966 Of course he did but truthfully 218 00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:26,301 radon is the least of your worries down there. 219 00:08:26,303 --> 00:08:28,103 Greetings, shoppers! 220 00:08:28,105 --> 00:08:30,818 Check out our great deals on... 221 00:08:31,128 --> 00:08:32,206 Low battery. 222 00:08:34,245 --> 00:08:36,378 Now I heard they're having a union meeting? 223 00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:37,467 It's nothing, Jeff. 224 00:08:37,469 --> 00:08:38,882 I swear I've got it under control. 225 00:08:38,883 --> 00:08:39,869 It's too late! 226 00:08:39,870 --> 00:08:41,500 They're making their plans right now. 227 00:08:41,501 --> 00:08:43,472 I mean, yours is one of the branches they're getting rid of. 228 00:08:43,473 --> 00:08:44,853 What? No! 229 00:08:44,855 --> 00:08:46,630 No, Jeff, no! Wha... 230 00:08:46,631 --> 00:08:49,224 What if I come down there and I-I-I can talk to them myself? 231 00:08:49,226 --> 00:08:51,660 - It's a five-hour drive! - Well, then you have 232 00:08:51,662 --> 00:08:54,329 to keep them in that meeting for five hours, Jeff. 233 00:08:54,331 --> 00:08:55,764 Okay. Well, what if I schedule 234 00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:57,332 a new meeting for five hours from now? 235 00:08:57,334 --> 00:08:59,902 Okay, well, I didn't realize that was an option. 236 00:08:59,904 --> 00:09:01,703 - Yes, do that. - Okay, listen. 237 00:09:01,705 --> 00:09:03,906 I can't ask people to stay all night. So we... 238 00:09:03,908 --> 00:09:06,108 Have I been a koala bear this whole time? 239 00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,350 Yes! 240 00:09:07,678 --> 00:09:09,044 - You're leaving now? - Yeah. 241 00:09:09,046 --> 00:09:10,646 We have a five-hour drive ahead of us. 242 00:09:10,648 --> 00:09:12,915 Hey, do you think we'll take 55 over to 72 243 00:09:12,917 --> 00:09:14,883 or shoot up 70 all the way to 57? 244 00:09:14,885 --> 00:09:16,585 - Whatever's faster. - It's just... 245 00:09:16,587 --> 00:09:18,014 a lot of my anecdotes are location-dependent. 246 00:09:18,039 --> 00:09:19,880 You don't want to hear a Litchfield story in Mattoon. 247 00:09:19,905 --> 00:09:21,241 What exactly are you planning to do once 248 00:09:21,266 --> 00:09:22,287 - you get to corporate? - I don't know. 249 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:23,601 I guess we'll figure it out on the way. 250 00:09:23,626 --> 00:09:25,448 Are you sure you don't want me to come with you? 251 00:09:25,449 --> 00:09:27,319 No, I need you to go to this union meeting 252 00:09:27,344 --> 00:09:29,131 and just make sure it doesn't get out of hand. 253 00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:31,033 So now we're infiltrating meetings and trying to take 254 00:09:31,035 --> 00:09:33,368 down groups from the inside? That's who we are now? 255 00:09:33,370 --> 00:09:34,803 Oh, anyone can make something 256 00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:36,438 - sound bad if they try. - Yeah, Jonah. 257 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,040 It's like, are you donating money 258 00:09:38,042 --> 00:09:40,303 to charity or are you bribing them to help orphans? 259 00:09:40,328 --> 00:09:42,123 That's a pretty terrible analogy. 260 00:09:42,179 --> 00:09:43,717 Jonah, we can discuss this later. 261 00:09:43,742 --> 00:09:46,287 But can you please just do this, for me? 262 00:09:46,891 --> 00:09:48,257 Thank you. 263 00:09:48,259 --> 00:09:49,669 And don't call while we're on the drive. 264 00:09:49,694 --> 00:09:51,560 This is kind of me and Amy time, okay? 265 00:09:57,944 --> 00:09:59,900 I'm sorry we had to do this in the store but it's the end 266 00:09:59,901 --> 00:10:01,990 of little league season so everywhere was booked. 267 00:10:01,991 --> 00:10:03,947 - Did you try IHOP? - Yes, it was booked. 268 00:10:03,949 --> 00:10:05,278 The one on Delmar? 269 00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:07,423 It's... it's too late now. 270 00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:09,653 Anyway, I want to introduce 271 00:10:09,655 --> 00:10:11,626 Robin Green from Retail Workers United. 272 00:10:11,651 --> 00:10:14,500 When I googled "labor organizer St. Louis" 273 00:10:14,525 --> 00:10:17,045 hers was the first name that came up. 274 00:10:21,234 --> 00:10:25,069 So, like Sandra said I'm with RWU, and I'm here 275 00:10:25,094 --> 00:10:26,376 to talk to you guys about next steps 276 00:10:26,377 --> 00:10:28,137 and answer any questions you may have. 277 00:10:28,140 --> 00:10:30,507 - Yes? - Yeah, I was just wondering, 278 00:10:30,509 --> 00:10:32,810 How much our dues were gonna be? 279 00:10:32,812 --> 00:10:34,711 Oh, I think we're getting a little ahead of ourselves. 280 00:10:34,713 --> 00:10:37,514 Oh, oh, okay. Yeah, I just think 281 00:10:37,516 --> 00:10:38,949 it's a little weird that you 282 00:10:38,951 --> 00:10:41,154 won't tell us how much it's gonna cost. 283 00:10:41,155 --> 00:10:42,486 But... go on. 284 00:10:42,488 --> 00:10:44,138 I will get to that. 285 00:10:44,590 --> 00:10:46,690 Why don't we start with an overview 286 00:10:46,692 --> 00:10:49,226 of how the union process works. The union... 287 00:10:49,228 --> 00:10:50,318 Marcus? 288 00:10:51,797 --> 00:10:54,194 Hey. What are you guys doing here? 289 00:10:54,219 --> 00:10:57,464 - It's a union meeting. - What are you doing here? 290 00:10:58,471 --> 00:10:59,819 Union meeting. 291 00:11:00,145 --> 00:11:01,738 Why are you in your underwear? 292 00:11:02,174 --> 00:11:03,190 'Cause... 293 00:11:03,609 --> 00:11:05,907 I didn't know what the dress code was. 294 00:11:08,147 --> 00:11:10,347 They weren't thrilled about staying late 295 00:11:10,349 --> 00:11:12,282 so it's gonna be a tough crowd. 296 00:11:12,284 --> 00:11:13,984 Oh. Okay. Great. 297 00:11:13,986 --> 00:11:16,186 Hey, Amy! Look, it's Chief Saves-a-lot! 298 00:11:16,188 --> 00:11:18,889 - Oh, yeah. - The original Cloud 9 mascot? 299 00:11:18,891 --> 00:11:20,691 Look he's even got his cute little piece pipe 300 00:11:20,693 --> 00:11:21,996 with the cloud coming out. 301 00:11:21,997 --> 00:11:23,894 They probably shouldn't still have that up there. 302 00:11:23,896 --> 00:11:25,362 - Huh. - Yeah, so... 303 00:11:25,364 --> 00:11:27,097 Claudia Lankow is the person you're 304 00:11:27,099 --> 00:11:29,766 going to want to impress. SVP of Operations. 305 00:11:29,768 --> 00:11:32,112 She's into dog shows. Breeds pinschers. 306 00:11:32,376 --> 00:11:34,898 - Okay. So I'll work that in? - Ah! 307 00:11:35,174 --> 00:11:37,007 The first ever issue of "Stratus Magazine!" 308 00:11:37,009 --> 00:11:40,177 Dina, so sorry, I'm just... I'm trying to save the branch. 309 00:11:40,179 --> 00:11:41,445 Don't bring me on a safari and then tell me 310 00:11:41,447 --> 00:11:42,604 not to look at the zebras. 311 00:11:42,605 --> 00:11:44,073 Shoot, look, we've got to get in there. 312 00:11:44,074 --> 00:11:45,983 Are you ready for this? You can do this. 313 00:11:45,985 --> 00:11:48,423 - Do you really think so? - I mean, honestly? 314 00:11:48,921 --> 00:11:50,821 It's unlikely. Once they make a decision, 315 00:11:50,823 --> 00:11:52,156 usually an inertia sets in. 316 00:11:52,158 --> 00:11:54,158 But, nothing to lose! 317 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,545 There are a lot of preconceived notions 318 00:11:56,570 --> 00:11:58,598 of what a union is or isn't, 319 00:11:58,623 --> 00:12:01,198 so I like to start with a little exercise. 320 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,066 When you think of the word "union," 321 00:12:03,068 --> 00:12:04,756 what other words come to mind? 322 00:12:07,439 --> 00:12:08,694 - Me? - Yes. 323 00:12:11,754 --> 00:12:12,709 Um... 324 00:12:12,711 --> 00:12:14,144 Just right off the top of your head. 325 00:12:14,146 --> 00:12:15,855 I say union, you think... 326 00:12:16,048 --> 00:12:17,058 Union. 327 00:12:17,142 --> 00:12:19,226 Okay. Okay, good. 328 00:12:19,251 --> 00:12:22,286 Uh, but we've already got that one, so... 329 00:12:22,288 --> 00:12:24,254 It's okay, Glenn. I would've said union, too. 330 00:12:24,256 --> 00:12:26,390 - You don't have to rub it in. - I wasn't. 331 00:12:26,392 --> 00:12:28,458 - You're such a dick. - I... 332 00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:30,527 - What else? - Organized crime. 333 00:12:30,529 --> 00:12:32,896 Crime. Okay, sure. 334 00:12:32,898 --> 00:12:36,667 I guess there is some history of that in the past. 335 00:12:36,669 --> 00:12:38,635 It also makes me think of the Haymarket Riots 336 00:12:38,637 --> 00:12:40,240 and all the lives that were lost. 337 00:12:41,012 --> 00:12:42,997 - So, riots. - Yeah. 338 00:12:42,999 --> 00:12:43,813 All right! 339 00:12:43,815 --> 00:12:45,423 - Laughter. - Laughter? 340 00:12:45,448 --> 00:12:47,188 Yeah, like a laugh riot. 341 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,546 Oh, okay. So, um... 342 00:12:49,548 --> 00:12:53,317 These should come from union. It's not like a word chain. 343 00:12:53,319 --> 00:12:54,985 Oh. Okay, pass. 344 00:12:54,987 --> 00:12:57,421 - Benefits. - Benefits, good. 345 00:12:57,423 --> 00:12:59,637 - Very good. - Unionization. 346 00:13:00,465 --> 00:13:01,358 Can't say the word. 347 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:02,726 This isn't Taboo. 348 00:13:02,728 --> 00:13:04,051 - Incest. - What? 349 00:13:04,176 --> 00:13:06,563 It's taboo in every culture. 350 00:13:06,565 --> 00:13:08,198 - No, it's just... - No, it is. 351 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,259 And the Bible. 352 00:13:10,161 --> 00:13:11,258 Incest. 353 00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:13,467 Yes! On the board. 354 00:13:14,883 --> 00:13:17,975 Nobody at Store 1217 is talking about unionizing. 355 00:13:17,977 --> 00:13:20,811 It is just one single employee 356 00:13:20,813 --> 00:13:22,312 - who is... - An idiot. 357 00:13:22,314 --> 00:13:25,474 A total complete idiot with no redeeming qualities. 358 00:13:25,884 --> 00:13:28,418 Well, I was gonna say "harmless." 359 00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:29,470 She's harmless. 360 00:13:29,471 --> 00:13:32,010 But idiot also works. 361 00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:33,332 Listen, even if 362 00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:37,294 Ms. Kaluiokalani were to disappear tomorrow... 363 00:13:37,296 --> 00:13:38,929 Ooh! Love that. Keep talking. 364 00:13:38,931 --> 00:13:40,297 Brick and mortar sales are down. 365 00:13:40,299 --> 00:13:42,466 - That's not your fault. - No, it's not. 366 00:13:42,468 --> 00:13:45,502 You don't blame the breeder, you blame the handler. 367 00:13:45,504 --> 00:13:46,582 Right, Claudia? 368 00:13:46,939 --> 00:13:48,227 I don't know. 369 00:13:48,907 --> 00:13:50,340 Look, it was down to a coin flip 370 00:13:50,342 --> 00:13:51,942 between you guys and the Bel-Ridge store. 371 00:13:51,944 --> 00:13:54,511 Oh, well close Bel-Ridge. They're awful. 372 00:13:54,513 --> 00:13:56,713 Yeah, they have a very bad reputation. 373 00:13:56,715 --> 00:13:58,715 Well, of course you guys are gonna say that. 374 00:13:58,717 --> 00:14:00,050 No, it's true. 375 00:14:00,052 --> 00:14:01,718 A couple of their employees 376 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,388 actually vandalized our store recently. 377 00:14:04,390 --> 00:14:06,590 Totally unprovoked. Just ugliness. 378 00:14:06,592 --> 00:14:08,158 - Mm-hmm. - And they're also rude 379 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,459 - to the customers. - Very rude. 380 00:14:09,484 --> 00:14:10,761 Yeah, they've been known to... 381 00:14:10,763 --> 00:14:12,514 shame overweight children. 382 00:14:12,545 --> 00:14:15,265 And a lot of their employees smoke while they work 383 00:14:15,267 --> 00:14:18,445 so when you walk in it's just a haze of smoke. 384 00:14:18,670 --> 00:14:22,272 - It's like Beijing. - Which is weird, because 385 00:14:22,274 --> 00:14:26,323 a lot of them have outdated views on Chinese people. 386 00:14:30,165 --> 00:14:33,477 I'm going to be passing out some union authorization... 387 00:14:33,502 --> 00:14:35,928 - I-I'll do it. - Sure. 388 00:14:36,388 --> 00:14:38,288 Sandra is going to be passing out 389 00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:40,791 some union authorization cards. 390 00:14:40,793 --> 00:14:41,858 Can I keep mine in my wallet? 391 00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:43,660 Oh, sorry. I should clarify 392 00:14:43,662 --> 00:14:46,897 that filling these out is actually the first step 393 00:14:46,899 --> 00:14:49,499 in establishing a union. So after you sign, 394 00:14:49,501 --> 00:14:51,968 I file them with the National Labor Relations Board. 395 00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:53,403 I'm going to laminate mine. 396 00:14:53,405 --> 00:14:56,807 Uh, no. Again, I do need those back. 397 00:14:56,809 --> 00:14:58,408 But will we ever see them again? 398 00:14:58,410 --> 00:14:59,626 You don't n... 399 00:15:01,547 --> 00:15:03,146 Yes. You will all see 400 00:15:03,148 --> 00:15:05,515 your cards again at some point. But no one should feel 401 00:15:05,517 --> 00:15:07,784 like they're being coerced into signing. 402 00:15:07,786 --> 00:15:09,689 I don't think I'm coercing anyone. 403 00:15:09,714 --> 00:15:13,193 No, not consciously. But your tone was intimidating. 404 00:15:13,424 --> 00:15:15,959 - What is up with you lately? - Yeah, you used to be 405 00:15:15,961 --> 00:15:18,328 all "rah-rah unions are awesome" and now 406 00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:20,297 it seems like you don't even want to do this anymore. 407 00:15:20,299 --> 00:15:23,300 Maybe it was because back then he wasn't sleeping with the manager. 408 00:15:23,302 --> 00:15:25,402 All: Oh! 409 00:15:25,404 --> 00:15:27,871 - Wait, is that true? - Yes, because back then 410 00:15:27,873 --> 00:15:29,239 I was the manager. 411 00:15:29,241 --> 00:15:31,468 But I would never cheat on my wife. 412 00:15:31,577 --> 00:15:33,178 And certainly not with Jonah. 413 00:15:33,203 --> 00:15:35,683 I'd do it with her friend Diane. 414 00:15:36,749 --> 00:15:38,648 I'm saying if you are dating the boss, 415 00:15:38,650 --> 00:15:41,852 well then that explains why you're so anti-labor. 416 00:15:41,854 --> 00:15:43,220 No! That has nothing to do... 417 00:15:43,222 --> 00:15:44,654 Yeah, you can't be pro-labor 418 00:15:44,656 --> 00:15:47,124 when you're having sex with the boss all the time. 419 00:15:47,149 --> 00:15:49,693 Guys, I'm not anti-labor, okay? 420 00:15:49,695 --> 00:15:50,909 I'm just saying... 421 00:15:52,731 --> 00:15:54,317 retail is dying. 422 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:57,000 And we're already being replaced by machines 423 00:15:57,002 --> 00:15:59,489 that can do our jobs better and faster than us. 424 00:15:59,738 --> 00:16:03,206 And-and most of us have no education, 425 00:16:03,208 --> 00:16:06,843 no skills, and are just generally terrible. 426 00:16:06,845 --> 00:16:07,848 No offense. 427 00:16:08,211 --> 00:16:12,649 So maybe we should just be happy with what we've got. 428 00:16:12,651 --> 00:16:17,532 You know? Because for most of us this is as good as it's ever gonna get. 429 00:16:22,995 --> 00:16:25,782 That said, I'm generally pro-labor. 430 00:16:29,735 --> 00:16:31,450 Could I take a couple pens? 431 00:16:31,451 --> 00:16:32,527 Sure. 432 00:16:39,629 --> 00:16:40,578 Hello? 433 00:16:40,923 --> 00:16:43,991 Hi, Laurie, it's Claudia and Dan. 434 00:16:44,016 --> 00:16:45,342 And Jeff. Sutton! 435 00:16:45,811 --> 00:16:47,673 - And Jeff. - Hey, guys! 436 00:16:48,076 --> 00:16:49,687 - What's going on? - Hi, listen. 437 00:16:49,688 --> 00:16:51,288 We're shutting down one of the stores 438 00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:52,823 in your district, and it's between 439 00:16:52,825 --> 00:16:55,769 Bel-Ridge and Ozark Highlands. Do you have any thoughts? 440 00:16:56,128 --> 00:16:58,795 That's easy. I can't stand the manager at... 441 00:16:58,797 --> 00:17:00,764 Oh! 442 00:17:00,766 --> 00:17:02,833 So sorry! Sorry, hi! 443 00:17:02,835 --> 00:17:05,168 Laurie, it's Amy Sosa. I'm here too. 444 00:17:05,170 --> 00:17:08,138 I-I apologize. I'm just a little bit jittery. 445 00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:11,141 I had five Cokes on my way over here and, uh, 446 00:17:11,143 --> 00:17:14,945 I've tried to kick the habit but I just can't seem to do it. 447 00:17:14,947 --> 00:17:18,260 - I'm a Coke fiend. - That's... fine. 448 00:17:18,717 --> 00:17:20,126 Laurie, you were saying? 449 00:17:21,453 --> 00:17:22,886 Bel-Ridge. 450 00:17:22,888 --> 00:17:24,821 - I would close Bel-Ridge. - Oh. 451 00:17:24,823 --> 00:17:26,656 Okay, thank you. Very helpful. 452 00:17:26,658 --> 00:17:28,409 Thank you so much, Laurie! Bye! 453 00:17:30,996 --> 00:17:32,822 Well, there you have it. 454 00:17:33,432 --> 00:17:37,400 So going forward do we talk once a day or twice a day? 455 00:17:37,402 --> 00:17:39,269 Oh, let's just see how it goes. 456 00:17:39,271 --> 00:17:41,757 Great. So should we meet for breakfast in the morning? 457 00:17:42,474 --> 00:17:45,203 It doesn't look like the union's going to happen, huh? 458 00:17:47,038 --> 00:17:49,770 Um, I don't know. Maybe not now, but... 459 00:17:50,249 --> 00:17:51,982 hopefully some time down the line. 460 00:17:51,984 --> 00:17:54,751 Yeah. It's too bad. 461 00:17:55,220 --> 00:17:59,270 In my 30 years here, this is the closest we ever got. 462 00:18:01,093 --> 00:18:03,159 All right, got a long drive ahead of me. 463 00:18:03,161 --> 00:18:05,634 - See you tomorrow. - Night, Marcus. 464 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:18,397 The hand dryers in the seventh floor ladies room 465 00:18:18,399 --> 00:18:21,007 are deafening. It's like a jet taking off. 466 00:18:21,188 --> 00:18:23,125 If you're ever at corporate do yourself a favor. 467 00:18:23,126 --> 00:18:24,709 Did you see those business ladies 468 00:18:24,710 --> 00:18:27,034 who wear skirts and sneakers at the same time? 469 00:18:27,035 --> 00:18:29,546 No, they change into pumps at the office. 470 00:18:29,547 --> 00:18:31,913 The sneakers are for running into the street yelling, 471 00:18:31,914 --> 00:18:32,948 "Taxi!" 472 00:18:33,173 --> 00:18:34,439 Oh. 473 00:18:34,469 --> 00:18:36,079 Oh, can I have one of these pens? 474 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,392 Absolutely not. 475 00:18:40,429 --> 00:18:41,637 These are my pens. 476 00:18:48,858 --> 00:18:51,730 So, how's baby Rose doing? Any new teeth coming in? 477 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,189 Why, so you can pluck them out with your pliers? 478 00:18:55,043 --> 00:18:56,649 Stay away from my daughter. 479 00:18:56,650 --> 00:18:58,424 Come on. Look, I do one bad thing? 480 00:18:58,425 --> 00:19:00,561 That doesn't negate all the good things I've done in my life. 481 00:19:00,586 --> 00:19:02,277 Name one good thing that you've done. 482 00:19:02,815 --> 00:19:04,153 I don't know. A lot of stuff. 483 00:19:04,178 --> 00:19:06,003 I mean, how do you define "good"? 484 00:19:06,153 --> 00:19:07,582 What's a good thing you've done? 485 00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:10,609 I donated one of my kidneys to a total stranger. 486 00:19:10,611 --> 00:19:12,076 Okay, yeah. All right. 487 00:19:12,077 --> 00:19:14,179 Well, sure. That's good. 488 00:19:14,181 --> 00:19:15,960 I mean you did that, like, anonymously? 489 00:19:16,177 --> 00:19:17,843 Of course, anonymously. 490 00:19:18,382 --> 00:19:22,244 Good people don't need credit when they do good things. 491 00:19:22,526 --> 00:19:23,548 Well... 492 00:19:24,634 --> 00:19:25,651 Me too. 493 00:19:25,673 --> 00:19:28,854 I've done a lot of anonymous stuff too. 494 00:19:28,855 --> 00:19:29,893 Yeah, right. 495 00:19:31,889 --> 00:19:32,932 Have you? 496 00:19:33,937 --> 00:19:35,558 Shh. 497 00:19:36,387 --> 00:19:38,542 You little devil. 498 00:19:46,263 --> 00:19:49,005 Jerusha, I told the kidney lie again. 499 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,188 And then I had to sit in the lobby for 20 minutes 500 00:19:52,189 --> 00:19:53,504 while Dina had sex with the waiter 501 00:19:53,505 --> 00:19:54,903 from Michael Jordan's Steak House. 502 00:19:55,210 --> 00:19:57,157 That sounds like quite an adventure. 503 00:19:57,182 --> 00:19:59,083 So, tell me more about the meeting. 504 00:19:59,084 --> 00:20:00,343 I already told you everything. 505 00:20:00,344 --> 00:20:01,171 I did what I could. 506 00:20:01,177 --> 00:20:02,580 No, but like, tell me more. 507 00:20:02,581 --> 00:20:04,919 Like, like, who was the most into it? 508 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,804 What, like you want, like, names? 509 00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:08,796 Yeah. So I can keep an eye on them. 510 00:20:09,081 --> 00:20:10,754 I'm not going to tell you that. 511 00:20:10,755 --> 00:20:13,586 Jonah, why are you being so weird about this? 512 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,249 Me? You're the one who said 513 00:20:15,274 --> 00:20:17,146 to keep the union thing under control, 514 00:20:17,147 --> 00:20:18,682 and now you want me to give you names? 515 00:20:18,683 --> 00:20:19,517 Who are you? 516 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:21,457 I'm trying to save everybody their jobs. 517 00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:23,490 You're trying to save somebody's job. 518 00:20:26,527 --> 00:20:27,668 That's not fair. 519 00:20:29,117 --> 00:20:30,877 I'm sorry. I jus... it just... 520 00:20:30,878 --> 00:20:33,503 There was actually some momentum to finally 521 00:20:33,528 --> 00:20:35,868 get this thing done and I - I... 522 00:20:39,335 --> 00:20:40,338 I'm sorry. 523 00:20:43,297 --> 00:20:44,343 Welcome back. 524 00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:50,414 And the first ten employees who sign these cards 525 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,608 get to be a part of "Sandra's Angels." 526 00:20:52,610 --> 00:20:56,360 It's a club that meets at my house to watch TV and eat sliders. 527 00:20:56,410 --> 00:20:57,449 Hey. 528 00:20:58,956 --> 00:20:59,956 I'm in. 529 00:21:01,569 --> 00:21:02,656 Let's do this. 530 00:21:05,369 --> 00:21:06,369 Thank you! 531 00:21:07,758 --> 00:21:09,758 Is your mobile also your home phone? 532 00:21:10,116 --> 00:21:12,762 I need to know if your mobile's also your home phone! 533 00:21:12,787 --> 00:21:14,787 credits 534 00:21:14,812 --> 00:21:15,570 Jonah!