1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:05,000
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

2
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- So, how are you?
- Yeah, I'm okay.

3
00:00:42,391 --> 00:00:44,581
- Did you remember my stuff?
- Oh, yes.

4
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:47,057
Two pairs of socks,

5
00:00:48,034 --> 00:00:50,817
two pairs of pants, two T-shirts.

6
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You didn't bring a bag?

7
00:00:54,668 --> 00:00:55,836
No, I was in a hurry.

8
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You called at 8:20 this morning,
which, as you may remember

9
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from when you were part
of the family, is a busy time.

10
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I ran to your drawers, I shoved
everything in my work bag.

11
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Well, now what do I do? Just...

12
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:06,973
Well, I don't know.

13
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I'll put it back in my
bag and afterwards,

14
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we'll find a carrier bag.

15
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Your top drawer, by the way, is pitiful.

16
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What's wrong with it?

17
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When was the last time
you bought a pair of boxers?

18
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- I don't wear boxers.
- Or any underwear?

19
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I haven't worked for a year.

20
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- So 13 months ago.
- I can't remember.

21
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You have access to a joint account.

22
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If I saw a payment to Marks
and Spencer's for 50 quid,

23
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I'm not gonna hit the roof.

24
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50 quid? Is that how
much pants cost now?

25
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No, I'm suggesting
you buy several pairs.

26
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Can we change the subject?

27
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What have you said to the
kids about me moving out?

28
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Nothing.

29
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,608
- Nothing?
- Not as such.

30
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Okay, well, what have they said to you?

31
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:56,249
Well, they...

32
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It just hasn't been mentioned?

33
00:02:00,377 --> 00:02:02,005
I'm not there and they haven't noticed?

34
00:02:02,505 --> 00:02:04,921
If they ask, I say you're
somewhere else in the house.

35
00:02:04,946 --> 00:02:07,906
I say you're sleeping or you're
listening to music in the spare room,

36
00:02:08,603 --> 00:02:09,646
in the pub.

37
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In the pub? I'm never in the pub.

38
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No, I know, but they like it,
I think, the dadness of it.

39
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Jesus.

40
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Wow.

41
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How long do you intend to be gone for?

42
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I don't know.

43
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You don't have to do this.
Nobody asked you to leave.

44
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We had a pretty terrible few days.

45
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And it all started with
that stupid plaster cast.

46
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Yes.

47
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I thought when you told her
about throwing away the cast,

48
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- it crossed a line.
- It was funny.

49
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- She laughed.
- Yes, she laughed, you laughed.

50
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I was hurt.

51
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I was making a gesture.

52
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Throwing the cast
away was the first step

53
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on the long road to marital harmony.

54
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Throwing the cast away when
nothing's wrong with your arm

55
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just takes us back to where we were.

56
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You're still a man with
severe marital difficulties

57
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and two good arms.

58
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I was trying to prove
that I value truth.

59
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Oh, is that why you told Giles and Anna

60
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that there'd been a spot of infidelity

61
00:03:04,353 --> 00:03:05,707
when we bumped into them?

62
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Oh, yes, a spot.

63
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I was minimizing it. Another gesture.

64
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I admit...

65
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I went over the top after that
and things got out of hand.

66
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Sorry for some of the things I said.

67
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- There were some low blows in there.
- Well, inevitable.

68
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It was never your face
I wanted to punch.

69
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I'd have thought you'd like to encourage

70
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all body parts below the belt,

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not render them unusable.

72
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We should remember that
we're talking metaphorically.

73
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I didn't actually do anything to them.

74
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Metaphors to the nuts can
hurt just as much as kicks.

75
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- Is that really true?
- I don't know.

76
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It's a slippery slope, moving out.

77
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It can be hard to climb back up it.

78
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That's the definition
of a slippery slope.

79
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So you're saying you may not
be able to climb back up,

80
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that you've have moved out for good?

81
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- Am I?
- Well, if you can't

82
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climb back up a slippery slope.

83
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I was just pointing out
a linguistic redundancy.

84
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I wasn't announcing
the end of the marriage.

85
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- So no slippery slope?
- No, just...

86
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normal slope

87
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that I can wander up and down at will.

88
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- No slippage, just exertion.
- Well, that's another thing.

89
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You're not as nimble as you once were.

90
00:04:11,139 --> 00:04:12,709
I just needed a few days to think.

91
00:04:12,955 --> 00:04:15,195
- Where do you live, actually?
- Why do you need to know?

92
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I don't. It's just one of the
useful pieces of information

93
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a wife might need, knowing
where her husband lives.

94
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I have my mobile on at all
hours in case of emergency.

95
00:04:23,738 --> 00:04:25,079
I'm not worried about
how to get hold of you,

96
00:04:25,103 --> 00:04:26,663
I'm worried about what state you're in.

97
00:04:27,198 --> 00:04:28,357
I'm perfectly comfortable.

98
00:04:28,642 --> 00:04:31,009
You're somewhere local
that took no effort.

99
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Oh, God.

100
00:04:32,948 --> 00:04:34,959
Oh no, don't tell me
you're at Ketamine Kev's.

101
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No. That didn't work out.

102
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- Oh, Tom.
- I knew it was a bad idea.

103
00:04:39,725 --> 00:04:41,360
Who could have predicted that?

104
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- So, where are you?
- I have a bed

105
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and access to a kettle, and
that's all you need to know.

106
00:04:46,227 --> 00:04:47,228
Why won't you tell me?

107
00:04:47,451 --> 00:04:49,228
Maybe there isn't enough
mystery in our relationship.

108
00:04:49,252 --> 00:04:51,308
Isn't that what they say
in all those advice columns?

109
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I think they're talking about closing
the door when you're peeing,

110
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not refusing to tell your long-term
partner where you live.

111
00:04:56,868 --> 00:04:58,547
Listen, what are we gonna say to Kenyon?

112
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I'm surprised you
wanna tell her anything.

113
00:05:01,075 --> 00:05:02,820
Thank you. I didn't realize
that was an option.

114
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I was being sarcastic, Tom.

115
00:05:04,223 --> 00:05:05,623
Of course we're gonna tell her that

116
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you've moved out of the family home

117
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since the last session. Bloody hell.

118
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Can we keep nothing secret
from that bloody woman?

119
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Why do we have to do
all of our dirty washing

120
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in her launderette?

121
00:05:16,157 --> 00:05:17,700
Besides, I don't want her to think

122
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that she's not getting anywhere with us.

123
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- It's needlessly cruel.
- She'll live, I'm sure.

124
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- What do you need to think about?
- What do you mean?

125
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You said you needed a few days to think.

126
00:05:30,405 --> 00:05:32,745
- Oh, yeah.
- So, what's on the agenda?

127
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Well, everything, really.

128
00:05:35,426 --> 00:05:36,426
What is everything?

129
00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:39,950
The marriage, the...

130
00:05:41,048 --> 00:05:42,505
the, um...

131
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So, what have you thought about

132
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in the two days you've had so far?

133
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Now, you're just putting me on the spot.

134
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What have you been thinking about?

135
00:05:48,216 --> 00:05:49,221
I was asking you.

136
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I'm just pointing out, it's not
easy to come up with a list.

137
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I'm not the one who's gone off to think.

138
00:05:53,261 --> 00:05:54,821
I've been thinking a lot about Matthew.

139
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Right, okay.

140
00:05:57,675 --> 00:05:59,510
Yeah. And what do you think about him?

141
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:02,031
Just that he's a bastard and
how much I'd love to kill him.

142
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I've been thinking that
over and over again.

143
00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:08,215
- And is that constructive?
- Works for me.

144
00:06:09,611 --> 00:06:11,416
- I Googled him.
- Oh.

145
00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:15,657
- How do you know his surname?
- I saw an email.

146
00:06:17,486 --> 00:06:21,318
So I Googled him and then I
went to his Facebookay page.

147
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Likes his beer, doesn't he?

148
00:06:25,461 --> 00:06:27,302
- No.
- His pies, then.

149
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I was surprised. He didn't
seem like your type.

150
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That England shirt he was
wearing in his profile picture

151
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,228
looked like it had a football up it.

152
00:06:35,945 --> 00:06:37,013
Well, he isn't fat

153
00:06:37,038 --> 00:06:39,416
and he wouldn't wear an England shirt.

154
00:06:39,619 --> 00:06:40,619
I think...

155
00:06:41,711 --> 00:06:43,231
I think you may have the wrong person.

156
00:06:44,047 --> 00:06:45,888
Matthew's actually quite serious-minded.

157
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I can't see him having an England shirt,

158
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let alone a Facebook page.

159
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:51,841
Sounds like loads of fun.

160
00:06:54,889 --> 00:06:57,611
Why did you stop... with him?

161
00:06:59,927 --> 00:07:02,327
Because it was a terrible thing
to do and it made me unhappy.

162
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And if I don't move back in,
will it start up again?

163
00:07:07,835 --> 00:07:10,173
- I shouldn't think so.
- Why not?

164
00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:12,383
This is a pointless line of questioning.

165
00:07:12,407 --> 00:07:14,817
- Why?
- What are you asking me really?

166
00:07:14,842 --> 00:07:16,153
What do you actually want to know?

167
00:07:16,177 --> 00:07:18,913
I wanna know if you would
start up with Matthew

168
00:07:19,414 --> 00:07:20,691
in the event of us splitting up?

169
00:07:20,715 --> 00:07:21,979
But what's the real question?

170
00:07:22,076 --> 00:07:23,193
Just...

171
00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:26,262
Will you start seeing Matthew again

172
00:07:26,287 --> 00:07:27,392
if we stop being married?

173
00:07:27,417 --> 00:07:29,226
You're saying the same thing
over and over again.

174
00:07:29,250 --> 00:07:31,535
Because that's what I want to know.
Why wouldn't I want to know that?

175
00:07:31,559 --> 00:07:33,790
All you need to know is I'm not
going to see Matthew again

176
00:07:33,814 --> 00:07:35,672
- if we don't.
- God, you're brutal.

177
00:07:35,697 --> 00:07:37,756
How is that brutal? I thought
that might be consoling.

178
00:07:37,780 --> 00:07:38,883
Consoling? You're gonna run off

179
00:07:38,907 --> 00:07:39,985
with Matthew the minute I'm out the door

180
00:07:40,009 --> 00:07:41,145
and I'm supposed to find that consoling?

181
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,120
Why would you care if you're gone?

182
00:07:43,938 --> 00:07:46,731
That, you see, that's the
difference between you and me.

183
00:07:48,105 --> 00:07:49,119
I blame your job.

184
00:07:49,422 --> 00:07:50,554
What's my job got to do with it?

185
00:07:50,578 --> 00:07:52,168
God, your job is brutal.

186
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,157
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Thompson,

187
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,792
"I know you have cancer but you're 90

188
00:07:55,817 --> 00:07:57,737
"so there's fuck all we
can do for you. Goodbye."

189
00:07:57,835 --> 00:07:59,595
Is that honestly what
you think I do all day?

190
00:07:59,677 --> 00:08:01,618
God. And you wouldn't know
because you never ask.

191
00:08:01,775 --> 00:08:03,937
Because I don't wanna
know. It's depressing.

192
00:08:04,292 --> 00:08:06,831
Who wants to look at old
people's private parts all day?

193
00:08:07,402 --> 00:08:08,972
It's the most depressing
job in the world.

194
00:08:08,996 --> 00:08:10,576
I hardly ever look at
their private parts

195
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,600
because that's not normally
what's wrong with them.

196
00:08:12,878 --> 00:08:14,758
Anyway, they don't have
much bloody use for them

197
00:08:14,902 --> 00:08:17,622
because that's what happens, they
shrivel up and they become useless.

198
00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:21,410
It's happening to us, now, as we speak.

199
00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:24,812
You know what the irony is?
It's that I work with old people

200
00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:27,422
and you've spent your life
writing about pop music,

201
00:08:27,701 --> 00:08:29,259
thinking about young
people, in other words,

202
00:08:29,283 --> 00:08:31,408
their first albums, their
gigs, their... drugs,

203
00:08:31,433 --> 00:08:32,822
I don't know, their groupies.

204
00:08:32,859 --> 00:08:34,431
Groupies? Have you read any of my stuff?

205
00:08:34,455 --> 00:08:35,957
I can't see what bloody use it's had.

206
00:08:36,258 --> 00:08:38,539
You're shuffling round the house
all day in your bathrobe,

207
00:08:38,659 --> 00:08:40,207
asking me to bring you clean pants.

208
00:08:40,299 --> 00:08:41,939
Come on, make up your
mind. Am I eight or 80?

209
00:08:41,963 --> 00:08:43,440
I don't know. There's
room for confusion.

210
00:08:43,464 --> 00:08:44,899
Whatever it is, you're not 44.

211
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,764
You're in the prime of your life
and what are you doing with it?

212
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,442
Do you know the real problem
is with not having sex?

213
00:08:50,538 --> 00:08:52,924
It makes you crabby. I
can see that. What else?

214
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,417
It makes you re-evaluate everything.

215
00:08:54,442 --> 00:08:57,987
You live with someone and
you have sex with them

216
00:08:58,012 --> 00:09:00,782
and you think, "okay,
I'm married to him."

217
00:09:01,210 --> 00:09:03,496
I mean, you don't think
that. You don't think at all.

218
00:09:03,785 --> 00:09:07,173
You just get on with it. But
if you take the sex away,

219
00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:09,600
then all I'm doing is sharing a house

220
00:09:09,625 --> 00:09:11,642
with a blokaye who moans a lot

221
00:09:11,682 --> 00:09:14,237
and pokes fun at my
bedtime reading habits.

222
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,364
I mean, what is he even
doing in bed with me?

223
00:09:17,073 --> 00:09:18,609
I'm just encouraging you to branch out.

224
00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:20,666
How many Scandinavian
women are there left to kill?

225
00:09:23,538 --> 00:09:24,898
Do you understand what I'm saying?

226
00:09:28,075 --> 00:09:30,333
Sex is the one thing that separates you

227
00:09:31,379 --> 00:09:32,692
from everyone else in my life.

228
00:09:37,084 --> 00:09:38,872
Well, nearly everyone, anyway.

229
00:09:44,245 --> 00:09:45,245
We should go.

230
00:09:54,035 --> 00:09:57,343
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, thank you.

231
00:09:58,239 --> 00:09:59,239
Me too.

232
00:10:01,242 --> 00:10:04,627
I just... I didn't realize it
was that important to you.

233
00:10:04,712 --> 00:10:05,712
Really?

234
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:11,319
Look, how about I come back
after our therapy session

235
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,358
and we can...

236
00:10:14,455 --> 00:10:16,724
you know, have a bash, if you want?

237
00:10:18,878 --> 00:10:20,304
I probably didn't say that very well.

238
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,359
No.

239
00:10:22,396 --> 00:10:25,141
When you said, "Have
a bash, if you want."

240
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,489
Yes, awful.

241
00:10:26,901 --> 00:10:29,737
Well, I don't want.

242
00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:32,150
Right.

243
00:10:33,554 --> 00:10:35,848
- So, where are we?
- I don't know, Tom,

244
00:10:35,873 --> 00:10:37,713
but unless someone
makes some kind of effort...

245
00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:43,248
And by someone, I suppose you mean me?

246
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:54,500
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com