1
00:00:01,412 --> 00:00:03,975
Whee!

2
00:00:04,701 --> 00:00:06,326
Uh-oh. Aah!

3
00:00:08,543 --> 00:00:09,579
D'oh!

4
00:00:16,253 --> 00:00:17,275
D'oh!

5
00:00:17,437 --> 00:00:22,437
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

6
00:00:25,229 --> 00:00:27,416
Sir, I've prepared your
year-end finance report.

7
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,463
Initiate ocular scan mode.

8
00:00:30,783 --> 00:00:31,783
Illuminate...

9
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,275
and recalibrate.

10
00:00:35,228 --> 00:00:37,439
Gah! Unthinkable! The horror!

11
00:00:37,548 --> 00:00:40,148
This is the first year my earnings
are lower than the year before.

12
00:00:40,312 --> 00:00:41,321
I'm sorry, sir.

13
00:00:41,346 --> 00:00:43,461
These days, enlightened
people like solar,

14
00:00:43,486 --> 00:00:45,415
and the consciously
evil prefer fracking.

15
00:00:45,558 --> 00:00:47,328
Wh-Why, if this continues,

16
00:00:47,353 --> 00:00:50,149
in 150 years I'll be out on the street.

17
00:00:50,407 --> 00:00:53,766
Sir, sir, sir, I'm sure there's
some sort of inessential line item

18
00:00:53,791 --> 00:00:55,294
- that no one will miss.
- Mm-hmm.

19
00:00:55,697 --> 00:00:56,830
Effective immediately:

20
00:00:56,938 --> 00:00:59,736
children's health care will
be cut from workers' benefits.

21
00:01:08,325 --> 00:01:11,070
This meeting is over. God bless
the United States of America

22
00:01:11,095 --> 00:01:12,478
and release the hounds.

23
00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:17,783
Oh, I got three kids, and
they've all got health.

24
00:01:18,096 --> 00:01:19,580
I am so cursed.

25
00:01:19,697 --> 00:01:21,658
That's what you get for having a family.

26
00:01:22,327 --> 00:01:24,012
I'm gonna die like I lived:

27
00:01:24,133 --> 00:01:25,619
nice and lonely.

28
00:01:28,745 --> 00:01:29,745
Sweet.

29
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,814
Maybe we can get the kids
government health care.

30
00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:38,916
Oh, sorry, Marge, that's gone, remember?

31
00:01:38,941 --> 00:01:41,736
Because of those corporate
tax cuts we all wanted?

32
00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:43,306
I didn't want them.

33
00:01:43,331 --> 00:01:46,486
You say so now, but
I remember you back then.

34
00:01:46,568 --> 00:01:51,520
"Ooh, corporate tax cuts.
Makers not takers."

35
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:54,644
Oh, every time Ann Coulter has a cold,

36
00:01:54,669 --> 00:01:55,900
you think she's me.

37
00:01:56,180 --> 00:01:58,947
I'm sorry, honey. We'll
just have to cut back

38
00:01:58,972 --> 00:02:00,236
on the kids' meds.

39
00:02:00,261 --> 00:02:02,884
Back in my day, children
didn't need no meds!

40
00:02:03,063 --> 00:02:04,733
You just gave 'em a slug of whiskey

41
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:06,027
and sent 'em off to school.

42
00:02:06,089 --> 00:02:08,033
And if they lost their snowshoe,

43
00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:09,720
you'd beat 'em with the other one!

44
00:02:09,832 --> 00:02:13,251
That's how we raised the
generation that lost Vietnam.

45
00:02:14,024 --> 00:02:17,056
Bart, your old attention
deficit disorder medicine

46
00:02:17,081 --> 00:02:19,150
isn't covered by insurance anymore,

47
00:02:19,175 --> 00:02:22,134
so we'll have to use a cheaper
drug that's just as good.

48
00:02:22,251 --> 00:02:24,054
So goodbye, Focusyn.

49
00:02:24,340 --> 00:02:26,879
Hello, Chillaxodol.

50
00:02:28,779 --> 00:02:29,779
Mm.

51
00:02:30,601 --> 00:02:33,572
Mom, I was just on hypochondria.edu,

52
00:02:33,597 --> 00:02:35,181
and I think you should see something.

53
00:02:37,173 --> 00:02:39,595
Are you giving your precious child

54
00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:43,548
the generic ADD medication Chillaxodol?

55
00:02:43,627 --> 00:02:44,896
Yes. Why?

56
00:02:44,921 --> 00:02:48,152
Your child may experience
unwanted side effects,

57
00:02:48,177 --> 00:02:49,846
including headaches...

58
00:02:50,772 --> 00:02:52,643
... painful spasms...

59
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,408
... dry mouth...

60
00:02:55,528 --> 00:02:57,247
Ah.

61
00:02:57,507 --> 00:02:59,858
- ... and whiskers...
- Mm!

62
00:03:00,112 --> 00:03:01,889
... musical flatulence...

63
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:06,192
... involuntary Memphis juking...

64
00:03:09,194 --> 00:03:10,910
... sudden relocation...

65
00:03:11,354 --> 00:03:13,029
Hmm? Mm.

66
00:03:13,225 --> 00:03:15,818
... and a symptom that
can only be described

67
00:03:15,843 --> 00:03:17,428
as "dolphining."

68
00:03:21,692 --> 00:03:23,468
If you or a loved one

69
00:03:23,493 --> 00:03:26,443
is experiencing any
of these side effects,

70
00:03:26,468 --> 00:03:28,014
you would do well to remember

71
00:03:28,039 --> 00:03:30,171
that life is heartless and brutal,

72
00:03:30,196 --> 00:03:33,148
and the cosmos is indifferent to us all.

73
00:03:33,257 --> 00:03:36,008
I'd say goodbye, but what's the point?

74
00:03:40,775 --> 00:03:43,141
Without insurance, we'll
just have to go to...

75
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:45,500
Dr. Nick.

76
00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:47,383
Sorry, everybody.

77
00:03:47,449 --> 00:03:50,977
Remember, if at any
time you become a dog,

78
00:03:51,123 --> 00:03:52,914
then I can medicine you.

79
00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,485
No hope. There's no hope here.

80
00:03:58,561 --> 00:04:01,571
Hmm. "The healing magic of crystals."

81
00:04:02,482 --> 00:04:04,836
Well, I've tried everything else.

82
00:04:08,389 --> 00:04:10,899
Shalom, kind queen.

83
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,844
I mean the "hello" shalom,
but also the "peace" one.

84
00:04:13,999 --> 00:04:16,000
How can I soothe you?

85
00:04:16,129 --> 00:04:18,336
Wow. That was a lot just now.

86
00:04:18,499 --> 00:04:22,492
But yet it's only a snippet
of the cosmic conversation.

87
00:04:22,639 --> 00:04:25,094
Look, my son is having bad side effects

88
00:04:25,119 --> 00:04:26,742
from his ADD meds.

89
00:04:26,812 --> 00:04:29,053
His father wants him to join football

90
00:04:29,078 --> 00:04:30,961
for a nice, calming concussion.

91
00:04:30,986 --> 00:04:32,923
I have just the thing for you.

92
00:04:33,136 --> 00:04:34,136
Crystals?

93
00:04:34,186 --> 00:04:36,458
Healing crystals.

94
00:04:36,679 --> 00:04:38,360
I am pretty desperate.

95
00:04:38,593 --> 00:04:41,177
Crystals are a timeless database

96
00:04:41,202 --> 00:04:43,727
of energy, knowledge and sparkling.

97
00:04:43,778 --> 00:04:45,641
Scientists are finally waking up

98
00:04:45,666 --> 00:04:48,297
to what pyramids have known all along.

99
00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:51,789
I vant to suck your money.

100
00:04:51,934 --> 00:04:55,719
Uh, maybe I could just
buy a couple rocks and go.

101
00:04:55,856 --> 00:04:57,789
Oh, they're more than rocks.

102
00:04:57,902 --> 00:04:59,914
They make great stocking stuffers.

103
00:05:00,087 --> 00:05:01,289
And for Hanukkah?

104
00:05:01,443 --> 00:05:02,766
Uh, useless.

105
00:05:03,916 --> 00:05:04,918
Hey.

106
00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:13,127
Bart, it's time for your ADD treatment.

107
00:05:13,256 --> 00:05:14,602
Aah...

108
00:05:14,627 --> 00:05:16,344
aah, aah, aah.

109
00:05:16,489 --> 00:05:18,649
Hmm, maybe he's a little overtrained.

110
00:05:18,847 --> 00:05:19,914
It's not a pill.

111
00:05:19,966 --> 00:05:21,461
Ooh, a suppository.

112
00:05:21,486 --> 00:05:22,524
Fill 'er up.

113
00:05:23,253 --> 00:05:24,672
It's not a drug.

114
00:05:24,879 --> 00:05:27,050
I want you to try these.

115
00:05:28,224 --> 00:05:29,659
Hmm...

116
00:05:36,012 --> 00:05:37,012
I believe.

117
00:05:39,934 --> 00:05:42,933
"A" paper by Lisa. "A" paper by Lisa.

118
00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:45,448
"A" paper by Bart.

119
00:05:45,886 --> 00:05:48,825
An "A"? Oh, my gosh, Bart!

120
00:05:48,879 --> 00:05:50,792
Could it really be the crystals?

121
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,112
Yes, definitely the crystals.

122
00:05:53,244 --> 00:05:54,964
You really got an "A"?

123
00:05:55,551 --> 00:05:56,862
No white-out.

124
00:05:57,014 --> 00:05:58,951
The answers are actually correct.

125
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:01,003
Maybe he really did the work.

126
00:06:01,102 --> 00:06:04,609
Or maybe he cheated, and
I have to find out how.

127
00:06:04,769 --> 00:06:07,575
Whoa! Someone could
use a chill-out crystal.

128
00:06:07,728 --> 00:06:10,167
It's made by your
boyfriend, Lis, the Earth!

129
00:06:10,192 --> 00:06:12,033
Lisa has a boyfriend?

130
00:06:12,112 --> 00:06:13,837
And this is how I find out?

131
00:06:13,890 --> 00:06:16,495
I don't know which of you two is dumber.

132
00:06:16,717 --> 00:06:20,587
So I'm a bit of a mystery, huh? Huh?

133
00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:24,767
Marge, I heard Bart got an "A."

134
00:06:24,892 --> 00:06:27,001
- How'd you do it?
- Can you keep a secret?

135
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,103
Unless it's about a person, yes.

136
00:06:29,211 --> 00:06:30,751
It was crystals.

137
00:06:30,894 --> 00:06:32,096
Crystals, huh?

138
00:06:32,163 --> 00:06:34,048
I could use some of those for Kirk.

139
00:06:34,155 --> 00:06:35,704
I want to seed the bed with them,

140
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,298
so he doesn't crawl over to me.

141
00:06:37,417 --> 00:06:39,978
No worries. I'll pick up
more on my way home.

142
00:06:42,745 --> 00:06:44,361
Oh, no, what happened?

143
00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:47,189
I'm closing the store.
A cot finally opened up

144
00:06:47,214 --> 00:06:49,689
in this cult I've been
trying to get into.

145
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:51,798
Congratulations, I guess.

146
00:06:51,886 --> 00:06:53,494
Can I still buy crystals?

147
00:06:53,576 --> 00:06:54,861
Just take 'em.

148
00:06:54,923 --> 00:06:57,736
In fact, you can have
my entire inventory.

149
00:06:58,250 --> 00:06:59,250
Thank you.

150
00:07:01,006 --> 00:07:03,846
Now, enter my chariot to Heaven.

151
00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:07,861
Are you sure about this?

152
00:07:07,939 --> 00:07:11,423
Of course! I'm ascending
to a higher level of being.

153
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,345
Now, sisters,

154
00:07:13,448 --> 00:07:16,704
let us Sharpie in the
whites of our eyes.

155
00:07:18,894 --> 00:07:20,915
Oh, wow.

156
00:07:24,889 --> 00:07:27,267
"Before passing on to a new owner,

157
00:07:27,292 --> 00:07:29,994
"crystals should be
cleared of their old energy

158
00:07:30,027 --> 00:07:33,236
with a combination of water and sulfur."

159
00:07:33,357 --> 00:07:35,704
Which is just what comes out of our tap!

160
00:07:41,171 --> 00:07:43,501
The crystals got Kirk a new job.

161
00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:44,931
With a uniform!

162
00:07:45,037 --> 00:07:47,736
That's right, I'm a batboy.

163
00:07:49,126 --> 00:07:50,900
Nelson got an "A" on his test!

164
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:54,343
This is going right up on the
refrigerator in the front yard.

165
00:07:54,409 --> 00:07:56,665
Marge, we need more crystals.

166
00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:02,462
I'm not even 100% sure
these things work.

167
00:08:02,510 --> 00:08:04,158
Should I really be selling them?

168
00:08:04,232 --> 00:08:07,639
You know, these just might
make me stop drinking.

169
00:08:08,026 --> 00:08:09,204
I guess I should.

170
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,408
I'm gonna grind 'em up and snort 'em.

171
00:08:20,261 --> 00:08:22,845
Marge, another "A" in my class for Bart.

172
00:08:23,099 --> 00:08:26,205
I'm so impressed that a boy
with Bart's jiggly-wigglies

173
00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:28,454
could be cured by this pagan hogwash.

174
00:08:28,504 --> 00:08:30,298
You can't argue with facts.

175
00:08:30,994 --> 00:08:33,095
Oh, dear, we're running low on obsidian.

176
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,033
Almost out of moon potion.

177
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,986
And there's no more brain powder.

178
00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:39,759
I can sell you brain powder in bulk.

179
00:08:40,876 --> 00:08:42,736
Here's whose brain the powder is from.

180
00:08:42,931 --> 00:08:45,087
It's a cow, but a very smart one.

181
00:08:45,252 --> 00:08:47,040
Hmm. What else do you sell?

182
00:08:47,311 --> 00:08:49,704
Oh, massage stones, copper bracelets,

183
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:50,736
dream catchers,

184
00:08:50,761 --> 00:08:52,908
dream catcher filter replacements.

185
00:08:53,187 --> 00:08:55,285
This old one is full of dreams.

186
00:08:55,310 --> 00:08:56,743
I don't see anything in it.

187
00:08:56,836 --> 00:09:00,517
Don't you see it? Your dream
of being a massive success?

188
00:09:00,704 --> 00:09:02,314
You see it? Right there. See it?

189
00:09:02,339 --> 00:09:03,667
- Mm-mmm.
- Right there. See it?

190
00:09:03,888 --> 00:09:06,089
I think I am starting to see it.

191
00:09:06,137 --> 00:09:07,807
Are you sure? Do you really?

192
00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:09,131
I see it!

193
00:09:09,207 --> 00:09:10,543
Yeah, okay, bring it down.

194
00:09:10,919 --> 00:09:12,229
Less Oprah, more Chopra.

195
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:15,589
I see it. I guess I could
expand my product line.

196
00:09:15,647 --> 00:09:17,885
Then I can really start
making my own money,

197
00:09:18,001 --> 00:09:20,049
not be dependent on Homer.

198
00:09:20,141 --> 00:09:21,706
Did I hear "not dependent on Homer"?

199
00:09:24,207 --> 00:09:25,376
Boom. Retired.

200
00:09:25,459 --> 00:09:27,112
You should still go in to work.

201
00:09:27,374 --> 00:09:29,409
I don't think I even
remember how to get there.

202
00:09:29,457 --> 00:09:31,120
You were just there today.

203
00:09:31,333 --> 00:09:33,270
Feels like that, doesn't it?

204
00:09:36,263 --> 00:09:40,052
Here at MURMUR, we have everything
a holistic mother might need.

205
00:09:40,114 --> 00:09:41,216
Cactus milk.

206
00:09:41,368 --> 00:09:42,971
Wicker birthing chairs.

207
00:09:43,132 --> 00:09:44,501
Fairy traps.

208
00:09:44,526 --> 00:09:46,231
Tibetan singing bowls.

209
00:09:55,927 --> 00:09:57,802
Are these macaroons free-range?

210
00:09:57,899 --> 00:10:01,739
Yes. Only made from coconuts
that fall from the tree

211
00:10:01,826 --> 00:10:04,372
or are gently coaxed by woke monkeys.

212
00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:06,591
I'm sorry, Marge,

213
00:10:06,616 --> 00:10:08,270
I'm gonna have to shut you down.

214
00:10:08,446 --> 00:10:10,617
You don't have a
retail business license.

215
00:10:10,926 --> 00:10:13,586
Well, Chief, do I really need a license

216
00:10:13,611 --> 00:10:17,469
to sell that hemp body
lotion Sarah likes so much?

217
00:10:17,596 --> 00:10:20,289
And which is free to you?

218
00:10:20,395 --> 00:10:21,859
Ooh, I like it, too!

219
00:10:21,884 --> 00:10:23,539
But I'm gonna need more than that.

220
00:10:26,071 --> 00:10:27,071
Hmm.

221
00:10:28,877 --> 00:10:30,570
Mm... hmm.

222
00:10:31,786 --> 00:10:32,879
Mm.

223
00:10:34,775 --> 00:10:36,281
Oh, Marge!

224
00:10:38,525 --> 00:10:41,806
I've only done this before with
Monopoly money and salami!

225
00:10:43,603 --> 00:10:44,634
Where'd it go?

226
00:10:44,659 --> 00:10:46,626
It's all right here, baby.

227
00:10:48,870 --> 00:10:51,595
We made $1,000 today.

228
00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:53,157
What's that without the cost of goods?

229
00:10:53,256 --> 00:10:55,657
$998.

230
00:10:56,218 --> 00:10:57,704
I love you.

231
00:12:07,507 --> 00:12:08,522
Meep...

232
00:12:19,818 --> 00:12:21,735
So, those crystals

233
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,555
must really be uncloggin'
your noggin, huh?

234
00:12:24,691 --> 00:12:28,624
Yep. They're making math
problems like 60 + 63

235
00:12:28,649 --> 00:12:29,969
as easy as 1-2-3.

236
00:12:30,054 --> 00:12:33,211
Mm. And what is 60 + 63?

237
00:12:33,554 --> 00:12:36,187
- Oh. Um...
- It's 1-2-3!

238
00:12:36,752 --> 00:12:38,257
Ay, caramba!

239
00:12:39,905 --> 00:12:41,405
I'll figure out your scam.

240
00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:42,780
Sorry, Lis,

241
00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:45,882
I can't hear you over the bowl.

242
00:12:48,075 --> 00:12:50,663
You won't get away with it!

243
00:12:50,914 --> 00:12:52,327
I will stop you!

244
00:12:52,383 --> 00:12:53,963
Because this is not...

245
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:56,419
Oh, oh.

246
00:12:56,511 --> 00:12:59,737
Singing bowl, you are so peaceful.

247
00:13:01,304 --> 00:13:03,495
Luann bought $60 worth

248
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,377
of organic blackberries today.

249
00:13:05,508 --> 00:13:07,338
I hope she enjoys both of them.

250
00:13:08,825 --> 00:13:10,034
I need this for shopping.

251
00:13:11,385 --> 00:13:13,776
And this for a rainy day.

252
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,706
Do I hear thunder?

253
00:13:19,179 --> 00:13:20,456
Namaste.

254
00:13:20,585 --> 00:13:21,659
We're closed.

255
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,956
What part of "namaste"
don't you understand?

256
00:13:26,083 --> 00:13:28,081
I'm gonna need you to can it, Marge.

257
00:13:28,106 --> 00:13:29,495
My name is Piper Paisley.

258
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:30,581
Do I know you?

259
00:13:30,606 --> 00:13:33,565
I have a healing beauty
relaxorium in Shelbyville.

260
00:13:33,590 --> 00:13:34,917
Perhaps you've heard of PLOP.

261
00:13:34,942 --> 00:13:38,527
Well, it's wonderful to meet
a fellow entrepreneuse.

262
00:13:38,606 --> 00:13:41,160
Is it? If I wasn't Botoxed as hell,

263
00:13:41,185 --> 00:13:42,754
I'd be frowning at you right now.

264
00:13:46,699 --> 00:13:48,068
East?

265
00:13:48,251 --> 00:13:49,754
That's a solstice stone,

266
00:13:49,779 --> 00:13:51,496
not an equinox stone.

267
00:13:52,844 --> 00:13:56,145
Just nama-stay out of my business.

268
00:14:04,601 --> 00:14:06,231
Marge, honey, you've got to be careful.

269
00:14:06,256 --> 00:14:07,293
She means business.

270
00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:11,520
Oh, look what it says.

271
00:14:11,672 --> 00:14:13,418
This means war.

272
00:14:13,443 --> 00:14:14,848
Marge, don't say that!

273
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,676
I got into this business
because of the kids,

274
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,270
but now I like it.

275
00:14:19,491 --> 00:14:20,761
You know what?

276
00:14:20,786 --> 00:14:24,277
I'm going to open up a kiosk
in the Shelbyville Mall.

277
00:14:24,302 --> 00:14:25,512
On her turf!

278
00:14:34,216 --> 00:14:36,146
Ugh! You don't belong there!

279
00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:38,068
What happened to that hoverboard guy?

280
00:14:38,093 --> 00:14:39,669
Marge made me a better offer!

281
00:14:44,818 --> 00:14:46,216
You know you can't do this, right...

282
00:14:46,341 --> 00:14:49,279
build a competing kiosk in the
same escalator dump-out zone?

283
00:14:49,304 --> 00:14:51,444
I mean, you can't.

284
00:14:51,679 --> 00:14:54,373
There's no more law and order in malls.

285
00:14:56,372 --> 00:14:57,614
Aah!

286
00:14:59,241 --> 00:15:01,245
You've been living in my kiosk?

287
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:02,857
If you call that living.

288
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,161
Well, well, Bart, another "A."

289
00:15:08,303 --> 00:15:10,599
Looks like I brought
my average up to a "D."

290
00:15:29,037 --> 00:15:31,060
Now to test my theory.

291
00:15:32,604 --> 00:15:33,604
Aha!

292
00:15:34,906 --> 00:15:36,646
What the hell are you doing?

293
00:15:36,791 --> 00:15:38,654
I know what you did, Bart Simpson.

294
00:15:38,793 --> 00:15:40,731
It's crystal clear.

295
00:15:40,945 --> 00:15:42,740
You hid the Gettysburg Address

296
00:15:42,765 --> 00:15:44,702
in a poster right by your desk,

297
00:15:44,870 --> 00:15:47,959
which you could read when
Milhouse distracted Flanders.

298
00:16:00,272 --> 00:16:01,641
Pure coincidence.

299
00:16:01,803 --> 00:16:04,310
I put all the times
tables in Newton's wig.

300
00:16:04,386 --> 00:16:06,396
And look what I hid in the apple.

301
00:16:08,299 --> 00:16:09,299
Ew!

302
00:16:09,414 --> 00:16:11,419
You know, it would have been far easier

303
00:16:11,444 --> 00:16:13,154
just to study and get an "A."

304
00:16:13,369 --> 00:16:15,139
Yeah, but what's the point of that?

305
00:16:15,164 --> 00:16:16,544
I'm telling Dad.

306
00:16:17,807 --> 00:16:19,232
Not today. I got my book club.

307
00:16:19,349 --> 00:16:20,685
A Confederacy of Dunces.

308
00:16:20,791 --> 00:16:22,160
Ooh, is that the book?

309
00:16:22,185 --> 00:16:23,248
No, that's who's coming:

310
00:16:23,308 --> 00:16:25,568
Lenny, Carl, Barney, Moe.

311
00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:28,577
The book we read was, uh, The
Girl with the Dragon Something.

312
00:16:28,602 --> 00:16:30,686
- I didn't get through the title.
- Yeah, me neither.

313
00:16:30,711 --> 00:16:33,686
It was just as boring as Tinker
Tailor Something Something.

314
00:16:33,817 --> 00:16:35,288
Well, cancel the book club,

315
00:16:35,313 --> 00:16:38,249
'cause Bart has something
he has to tell Mom.

316
00:16:38,293 --> 00:16:39,499
Why?

317
00:16:39,571 --> 00:16:41,976
You don't realize how
bad this is, do you?

318
00:16:42,019 --> 00:16:45,718
You betrayed the one person
who still believes in you.

319
00:16:45,863 --> 00:16:47,038
The dog believes in me.

320
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:48,132
Ruh-ruh.

321
00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:49,975
Don't you get it?

322
00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:52,580
Who's the person that's
always there when you need it?

323
00:17:04,531 --> 00:17:05,531
Oh, my God.

324
00:17:05,556 --> 00:17:07,093
She's shown me nothing but love.

325
00:17:07,118 --> 00:17:09,005
How do I make this guilt go away?

326
00:17:09,136 --> 00:17:10,339
Tell her the truth.

327
00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:11,732
No, that's not it. Keep pitching.

328
00:17:11,757 --> 00:17:12,771
No, that is it!

329
00:17:12,978 --> 00:17:13,982
Oh, fine!

330
00:17:14,094 --> 00:17:15,677
Now, looky here.

331
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,279
I learned Swedish to
read this here book,

332
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,951
and we are gonna discuss it.

333
00:17:21,745 --> 00:17:23,771
Nordic noir is known
for its plain language

334
00:17:23,796 --> 00:17:25,037
and absence of metaphors.

335
00:17:25,191 --> 00:17:26,279
Dig deeper.

336
00:17:26,761 --> 00:17:28,084
The novel reflects,

337
00:17:28,109 --> 00:17:29,943
implicitly and explicitly,
gaps between rhetoric

338
00:17:29,968 --> 00:17:31,185
and practice in Swedish policy.

339
00:17:32,947 --> 00:17:34,123
That'll do nicely.

340
00:17:34,306 --> 00:17:35,552
Who wants cake?

341
00:17:36,584 --> 00:17:39,615
I said, who wants cake?

342
00:17:43,110 --> 00:17:45,521
Our day of kiosk combat begins.

343
00:17:45,878 --> 00:17:49,029
My sisters abuse Piper's
free sample policy.

344
00:17:49,171 --> 00:17:53,255
Mmm. I smell like the
smoking area of a nice resort.

345
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:55,445
Schmear me like a bagel.

346
00:17:57,108 --> 00:17:58,552
Now, phase two.

347
00:17:58,648 --> 00:18:01,279
The one force no kiosk can withstand:

348
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,498
a confused old person.

349
00:18:03,657 --> 00:18:05,537
Somewhere in me is a yoni egg.

350
00:18:05,607 --> 00:18:07,044
I think it might be hatching.

351
00:18:07,134 --> 00:18:08,736
Uh, they don't hatch.

352
00:18:08,882 --> 00:18:10,693
Can you take that chance?

353
00:18:14,607 --> 00:18:16,248
Mom, I'm sorry.

354
00:18:16,315 --> 00:18:18,513
I wasn't getting As
because of the crystals.

355
00:18:18,635 --> 00:18:19,701
I lied.

356
00:18:25,477 --> 00:18:27,021
This crystal don't work!

357
00:18:27,209 --> 00:18:28,888
Nelson got detention,

358
00:18:28,926 --> 00:18:32,670
and I got demoted from
stripper to topless valet.

359
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,427
Kirk crawled over these
and made his way to me.

360
00:18:35,669 --> 00:18:37,039
Three times.

361
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,287
One last thing to do.

362
00:18:42,258 --> 00:18:44,826
That's not the egg I was thinking of.

363
00:18:45,029 --> 00:18:46,295
Keep looking.

364
00:18:47,076 --> 00:18:48,959
Stop, stop. Piper, stop.

365
00:18:49,016 --> 00:18:50,115
You win.

366
00:18:50,146 --> 00:18:52,050
I don't belong in this mall

367
00:18:52,075 --> 00:18:54,420
with all these legitimate businesses.

368
00:18:57,350 --> 00:18:58,451
I win!

369
00:18:58,903 --> 00:19:00,341
I win. Me.

370
00:19:00,387 --> 00:19:02,396
I'm sorry, I'm just...
I'm very competitive.

371
00:19:02,567 --> 00:19:04,170
Have you tried rose quartz?

372
00:19:04,260 --> 00:19:06,698
Let me ask you something.
Do I look like an idiot?

373
00:19:07,148 --> 00:19:08,869
Ooh, I love your handbag.

374
00:19:08,935 --> 00:19:10,272
Well, thank you.

375
00:19:10,339 --> 00:19:11,873
No prob, babe. I win.

376
00:19:19,005 --> 00:19:21,576
Marge, honey, I'm glad you're home.

377
00:19:21,695 --> 00:19:22,880
I've been thinking.

378
00:19:22,927 --> 00:19:26,498
I want to be more than
just Mr. Mrs. Homer Simpson.

379
00:19:26,705 --> 00:19:28,005
I want to get a job.

380
00:19:28,089 --> 00:19:29,474
You have a job.

381
00:19:29,594 --> 00:19:32,240
I know. Raising the kids
and looking fabulous.

382
00:19:32,427 --> 00:19:33,818
But I thought it would be nice

383
00:19:33,843 --> 00:19:35,826
to have somewhere to go every day.

384
00:19:35,917 --> 00:19:37,670
You work at the power plant.

385
00:19:37,837 --> 00:19:40,474
They call every morning
and say, "Where are you?"

386
00:19:40,567 --> 00:19:41,770
So you're not mad?

387
00:19:41,892 --> 00:19:43,661
Oh, I love you! Mwah!

388
00:19:43,814 --> 00:19:45,091
Thank you for understanding.

389
00:19:45,116 --> 00:19:46,677
Oh...

390
00:19:56,248 --> 00:19:57,459
Excuse me.

391
00:19:57,498 --> 00:19:59,552
I have a friend I think is here.

392
00:19:59,583 --> 00:20:02,355
Um, I just wanted to
make sure she's okay.

393
00:20:02,508 --> 00:20:04,412
Marge. Good to see you.

394
00:20:04,481 --> 00:20:06,474
But, really, not necessary.

395
00:20:06,610 --> 00:20:08,052
Because everything here is...

396
00:20:08,115 --> 00:20:10,154
Run! Run!

397
00:20:11,465 --> 00:20:12,873
What's happening here?!

398
00:20:12,898 --> 00:20:14,755
I thought you were
just getting massages!

399
00:20:14,789 --> 00:20:15,943
Those were good.

400
00:20:15,976 --> 00:20:17,780
But the other stuff is...

401
00:20:19,839 --> 00:20:20,974
Blow up the bridge.

402
00:20:23,864 --> 00:20:27,264
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com