1 00:00:00,867 --> 00:00:03,036 Previously on "Station 19"... 2 00:00:03,060 --> 00:00:05,963 I'm humiliated. You've humiliated me. 3 00:00:05,987 --> 00:00:08,199 - I'm so sorry. - It's not good enough. 4 00:00:08,223 --> 00:00:09,572 How long has that been going on? 5 00:00:09,596 --> 00:00:11,001 See, I don't open up to many people. 6 00:00:11,025 --> 00:00:12,431 With you... 7 00:00:13,468 --> 00:00:14,805 - ...it's easy. - Somebody call 911! 8 00:00:14,829 --> 00:00:17,240 If you're looking for family to update, I'm his sister. 9 00:00:17,264 --> 00:00:19,710 Updates are technically just for family members. 10 00:00:19,734 --> 00:00:22,613 I was really ready to spend the rest of my life with you. 11 00:00:22,637 --> 00:00:26,114 I get to spend the rest of mine with you. 12 00:00:30,411 --> 00:00:34,625 Have you ever experienced pain or worry or loss? 13 00:00:34,649 --> 00:00:36,693 Are we sure - Vic's gonna want breakfast? 14 00:00:36,717 --> 00:00:38,662 Well, she's come out of that room exactly once 15 00:00:38,686 --> 00:00:39,796 since she's been crashing here. 16 00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:40,872 She needs to eat. 17 00:00:40,896 --> 00:00:42,165 What do we say when we go in there? 18 00:00:42,189 --> 00:00:43,866 Let's just follow her lead. 19 00:00:43,890 --> 00:00:47,051 And, at the very least, shove some toast in her mouth. 20 00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:57,180 Hey, Vic? 21 00:00:57,204 --> 00:00:58,714 We just wanted to check in. 22 00:00:58,738 --> 00:00:59,715 We... We have food. 23 00:00:59,739 --> 00:01:01,606 Vic, we're coming in, okay? 24 00:01:04,744 --> 00:01:05,919 Vic? 25 00:01:06,613 --> 00:01:08,091 Uh, she's gone. 26 00:01:08,115 --> 00:01:09,859 Should we be worried? 27 00:01:09,883 --> 00:01:11,494 I-I'm sure she wanted space. 28 00:01:11,518 --> 00:01:13,596 - Here. Um, maybe I should call her. - You want me to call? 29 00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:14,997 - Uh... - Or we can do it together. 30 00:01:15,021 --> 00:01:16,466 - Uh, no, y-yeah, whatever you want. - Great. 31 00:01:16,490 --> 00:01:17,867 You're right. She probably just needed some air. 32 00:01:17,891 --> 00:01:19,869 How about I just text her? 33 00:01:19,893 --> 00:01:21,392 She may not want to talk. 34 00:01:22,295 --> 00:01:24,130 At some point... 35 00:01:24,798 --> 00:01:27,209 not now, obviously, but sometime, 36 00:01:27,233 --> 00:01:30,678 do you think... you and I should talk? 37 00:01:32,071 --> 00:01:35,183 Let's just focus on Vic right now, okay? 38 00:01:35,742 --> 00:01:38,553 Have you ever experienced trauma? 39 00:01:40,212 --> 00:01:43,046 Have you ever experienced doubt? 40 00:01:46,685 --> 00:01:48,029 Of course you have. 41 00:01:48,053 --> 00:01:49,564 Everyone has. 42 00:01:49,588 --> 00:01:50,782 Couldn't sleep? 43 00:02:05,938 --> 00:02:09,784 He walked in that building and came out a dead man. 44 00:02:09,808 --> 00:02:11,852 That could've been any one of us. 45 00:02:11,876 --> 00:02:14,810 On any day, any call. 46 00:02:16,014 --> 00:02:17,258 I know. 47 00:02:18,950 --> 00:02:20,928 I know. 48 00:02:20,952 --> 00:02:23,364 We all live through things that test us. 49 00:02:27,825 --> 00:02:30,804 It's how we each cope... 50 00:02:33,532 --> 00:02:36,119 ...how we process, that says the most. 51 00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:44,686 Do we face our pain and own it? 52 00:02:45,309 --> 00:02:47,921 Or are we more comfortable... 53 00:02:47,945 --> 00:02:49,110 Good morning. 54 00:02:49,134 --> 00:02:50,657 Um, your usual. 55 00:02:50,681 --> 00:02:51,891 Yeah, I'll just have the one today. 56 00:02:51,915 --> 00:02:54,161 Oh. Okay, my mistake. 57 00:02:54,185 --> 00:02:55,584 What's your hubby up to? 58 00:02:56,753 --> 00:02:58,765 - He's at work. - Hm. 59 00:02:58,789 --> 00:03:00,967 ...living in denial? 60 00:03:07,164 --> 00:03:09,598 It's almost time for shift. 61 00:03:10,468 --> 00:03:13,012 I-I lost track of time. 62 00:03:13,036 --> 00:03:14,719 Haven't heard from you since the hospital. 63 00:03:14,743 --> 00:03:17,016 I'm sorry. I've been helping Jennifer with the arrangements. 64 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,051 Mm. 65 00:03:18,075 --> 00:03:20,872 The department sent over a checklist a mile long. 66 00:03:21,745 --> 00:03:23,791 And she, uh... 67 00:03:24,314 --> 00:03:26,392 She asked me to give the eulogy. 68 00:03:26,416 --> 00:03:27,760 Mm. 69 00:03:27,784 --> 00:03:29,328 Any advice? 70 00:03:29,352 --> 00:03:32,565 Mm. Wrong person to ask. 71 00:03:32,589 --> 00:03:35,034 Speeches are not my thing. 72 00:03:35,058 --> 00:03:36,245 Funerals aren't either. 73 00:03:38,862 --> 00:03:40,840 Everything okay? 74 00:03:40,864 --> 00:03:42,842 The wildfire that hit L.A. earlier this week 75 00:03:42,866 --> 00:03:44,043 has progressed. 76 00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:45,444 Crews are requesting backup supplies. 77 00:03:45,468 --> 00:03:47,212 Seattle stations are organizing a caravan. 78 00:03:47,236 --> 00:03:49,715 Well, I'll handle it... and whatever else. 79 00:03:49,739 --> 00:03:52,350 I mean, you... you have a lot going on right now. 80 00:03:52,374 --> 00:03:54,219 And the work will be good for me... for everyone. 81 00:03:54,243 --> 00:03:56,421 Take our mind off things. 82 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:57,623 I appreciate it. 83 00:03:57,647 --> 00:04:00,649 Hey, uh, you mind taking a crack at this eulogy for me, too? 84 00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:03,623 Like I said, wrong person to ask. 85 00:04:12,227 --> 00:04:13,808 Are you crying? 86 00:04:13,832 --> 00:04:15,135 No. 87 00:04:15,159 --> 00:04:16,908 Then what's in your eyes? 88 00:04:16,932 --> 00:04:19,444 I said I wasn't crying, and I meant it. 89 00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:21,946 You don't need to feel embarrassed about this. 90 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,015 We're all a little messed up over Ripley. 91 00:04:24,039 --> 00:04:26,373 My head's kind of all over the place, too. 92 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,554 - You want me to grab you a tissue? - Nope. 93 00:04:29,578 --> 00:04:31,189 You gonna grab one yourself? 94 00:04:31,213 --> 00:04:33,358 - Negative, 'cause I don't need one. - I think you do. 95 00:04:33,382 --> 00:04:34,992 No, I don't, because I'm not crying. 96 00:04:35,016 --> 00:04:36,961 - Do we need to talk about this? - Absolutely not. 97 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,563 But you always want to talk. 98 00:04:38,587 --> 00:04:39,723 Yeah. Alright, Mom. 99 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:40,880 Love you. Bye. 100 00:04:40,904 --> 00:04:42,534 You talking with your mom? With "I-love-yous"? 101 00:04:43,758 --> 00:04:45,102 Chief Ripley kind of reminded me 102 00:04:45,126 --> 00:04:47,004 to appreciate the people I've got 103 00:04:47,028 --> 00:04:48,105 while I've still got them. 104 00:04:48,129 --> 00:04:51,074 Also, now that things with Nikki are progressing, 105 00:04:51,098 --> 00:04:52,309 my mom has been saying "I love you" 106 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,777 at the end of every call. 107 00:04:53,801 --> 00:04:55,579 Kind of feels rude not to say it back. 108 00:04:58,005 --> 00:05:00,150 - Bishop, you okay? - Don't forget this. 109 00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:02,653 Okay. 110 00:05:07,815 --> 00:05:09,159 Look at that. Not even 10% contained. 111 00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:11,027 I hope the winds don't shift. 112 00:05:11,051 --> 00:05:12,095 Just got word... 113 00:05:12,119 --> 00:05:14,030 California's requesting supplies. 114 00:05:14,054 --> 00:05:16,633 This one's gonna get worse before it gets better. 115 00:05:16,657 --> 00:05:18,368 We'll organize shipments for Seattle departments 116 00:05:18,392 --> 00:05:19,535 to take down to L.A. 117 00:05:19,559 --> 00:05:21,504 It's like bad on top of bad, you know? 118 00:05:21,528 --> 00:05:23,038 First, Ripley dies, and now this. 119 00:05:23,062 --> 00:05:25,174 Seems like we all could have used a little pause. 120 00:05:25,198 --> 00:05:26,509 Hey, how's Vic? 121 00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:29,412 Uh, she split without saying goodbye this morning. 122 00:05:29,436 --> 00:05:30,413 How are you doing? 123 00:05:30,437 --> 00:05:32,448 Just my allergies are acting up. 124 00:05:32,472 --> 00:05:34,149 Has anybody heard from Vic today? 125 00:05:34,173 --> 00:05:35,224 Morning! 126 00:05:35,248 --> 00:05:36,985 You guys seeing these wildfires? 127 00:05:37,009 --> 00:05:38,676 This thing just won't stop. 128 00:05:42,382 --> 00:05:44,293 Yeah. Okay. 129 00:05:44,317 --> 00:05:45,661 Okay, go on. 130 00:05:45,685 --> 00:05:47,129 Get all your staring out of your system, 131 00:05:47,153 --> 00:05:49,131 and then let's move on. Okay? 132 00:05:49,155 --> 00:05:51,234 Grieving Little Arm Candy's in the house. 133 00:05:51,258 --> 00:05:52,900 Drinking coffee. Ready to move forward. 134 00:05:52,924 --> 00:05:54,358 We all good now? 135 00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:57,606 Great. Okay. 136 00:05:57,630 --> 00:05:59,708 Back to your regularly scheduled programs, please. 137 00:05:59,732 --> 00:06:02,176 Hey. You sure you want to be here? 138 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:05,113 I didn't come to work today 'cause I didn't want to be here, so... 139 00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:06,080 How about I take you back home? 140 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,215 To Maya and Andy's, 141 00:06:07,239 --> 00:06:09,183 or if you want a change of scenery, come stay with me. 142 00:06:09,207 --> 00:06:10,685 Why? 'Cause I shouldn't go home home? 143 00:06:10,709 --> 00:06:12,053 Back to the place I spent so much time with him? 144 00:06:12,077 --> 00:06:12,920 Back to the bed we shared? 145 00:06:12,944 --> 00:06:14,844 You don't want me sleeping in that? 146 00:06:19,718 --> 00:06:21,396 Sorry. 147 00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:23,398 Sorry. That was... That was not fair. 148 00:06:23,422 --> 00:06:25,032 I'd love to come crash after shift, 149 00:06:25,056 --> 00:06:26,600 but right now, I'm working, so... 150 00:06:26,624 --> 00:06:28,302 Vic. We'll all cover for you. 151 00:06:28,326 --> 00:06:30,203 If you have other stuff you need to be focused on... 152 00:06:30,227 --> 00:06:31,639 You know, it's not a big deal. 153 00:06:31,663 --> 00:06:34,308 Jennifer's handling all the funeral arrangements and everything, so... 154 00:06:34,332 --> 00:06:37,278 You don't want to be involved in that, or... 155 00:06:37,302 --> 00:06:38,320 Not really. 156 00:06:38,344 --> 00:06:39,580 I mean, what does it matter? 157 00:06:39,604 --> 00:06:40,581 It's not gonna bring him back. 158 00:06:40,605 --> 00:06:42,249 And I'm not going to the funeral anyway, so... 159 00:06:42,273 --> 00:06:43,751 Miller, you mind passing me that syrup? 160 00:06:43,775 --> 00:06:45,040 - Yeah. - Thank you. 161 00:06:48,346 --> 00:06:50,357 Vic, you have... you have to go to the funeral. 162 00:06:50,381 --> 00:06:52,293 - No, I don't. - Yes, you do. 163 00:06:52,317 --> 00:06:53,894 You can't just skip it. 164 00:06:53,918 --> 00:06:55,529 Yeah, I can. And I will. 165 00:06:55,553 --> 00:06:57,720 Uh, why hasn't Sullivan called for lineup yet? 166 00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:01,067 - I'm, um, covering for him today. - Sweet. 167 00:07:01,091 --> 00:07:03,069 Okay, so, we should just... 168 00:07:03,093 --> 00:07:04,604 start with chores, then, huh? 169 00:07:12,136 --> 00:07:19,901 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 170 00:07:20,738 --> 00:07:23,483 Oh, my God. Travis, I told you I was fine. 171 00:07:23,508 --> 00:07:24,752 I didn't pick that word just for fun. 172 00:07:24,776 --> 00:07:26,253 I meant it. I'm fine. 173 00:07:26,277 --> 00:07:27,354 Yeah, and I want you to know 174 00:07:27,378 --> 00:07:30,037 that it's okay if you're not... fine. 175 00:07:31,349 --> 00:07:33,961 You know, when Michael died, I was a wreck. 176 00:07:33,985 --> 00:07:35,596 You know what helped me get through it? 177 00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,264 His funeral, 178 00:07:37,288 --> 00:07:39,066 surrounded by other firefighters, 179 00:07:39,090 --> 00:07:40,367 by my friends. 180 00:07:40,391 --> 00:07:41,735 The tradition was actually really comforting. 181 00:07:41,759 --> 00:07:43,237 And I'm so glad you had that. 182 00:07:43,261 --> 00:07:44,438 I know how meaningful that was for you. 183 00:07:44,462 --> 00:07:45,406 You were his husband. 184 00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:47,241 But me, I don't factor into this equation. 185 00:07:47,265 --> 00:07:48,809 Funerals aren't designed for people like me. 186 00:07:48,833 --> 00:07:51,048 There's no special seat for the secret... 187 00:07:51,072 --> 00:07:53,314 Vic, you know you were so much more than that. 188 00:07:53,338 --> 00:07:55,203 It'll be an important day... for Jennifer. 189 00:07:55,228 --> 00:07:56,783 She was his actual family, not me. 190 00:07:56,807 --> 00:07:59,409 She can walk front and center at that procession, not me. 191 00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:01,165 I don't need that. I'm better off here. 192 00:08:02,402 --> 00:08:03,868 And I'm done talking now. 193 00:08:06,071 --> 00:08:08,149 Right in there, guys. 194 00:08:09,241 --> 00:08:10,051 Hey. 195 00:08:10,075 --> 00:08:11,687 P.D. heard about the supply caravan 196 00:08:11,711 --> 00:08:13,221 and wanted to pitch in. 197 00:08:13,245 --> 00:08:14,690 I saw the funeral's on Friday. 198 00:08:14,714 --> 00:08:16,558 A bunch of us will be there to pay our respects. 199 00:08:16,582 --> 00:08:18,044 Appreciate it. 200 00:08:18,584 --> 00:08:21,410 I'm actually, um, heading to San Diego the next day. 201 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,903 - Really? - There's this tactical paramedic 202 00:08:22,928 --> 00:08:24,833 training program... really intensive. 203 00:08:24,857 --> 00:08:25,934 Couple spots opened up last minute, 204 00:08:25,958 --> 00:08:27,770 and, uh, they recruited me. 205 00:08:27,794 --> 00:08:29,605 Wow. That's... Congratulations. 206 00:08:29,629 --> 00:08:30,698 Thanks. 207 00:08:31,464 --> 00:08:33,975 Does that mean you're leaving Seattle? 208 00:08:33,999 --> 00:08:35,477 Well, for a couple of months, yeah. 209 00:08:35,501 --> 00:08:36,526 Could turn into more. 210 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,812 Jenna and I got the call yesterday. 211 00:08:37,836 --> 00:08:39,747 It's really exclusive. Kind of a big deal. 212 00:08:39,771 --> 00:08:41,616 You're going with Jenna? 213 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,151 That's... That's... That's great. 214 00:08:43,175 --> 00:08:44,386 I'm happy for you. Yeah. 215 00:08:44,410 --> 00:08:45,653 I'm happy for you, too. 216 00:08:45,677 --> 00:08:48,390 And you and Sullivan. That's also great. 217 00:08:48,414 --> 00:08:50,392 Me and... What? 218 00:08:50,416 --> 00:08:51,793 Weren't you two holding hands at the hospital? 219 00:08:51,817 --> 00:08:52,961 No. That's not... 220 00:08:52,985 --> 00:08:54,429 I mean, yes, we were, but... 221 00:08:54,453 --> 00:08:56,064 No. That's... No. 222 00:08:56,088 --> 00:08:57,732 - No! - Oh, okay. 223 00:08:57,756 --> 00:09:00,135 I guess maybe I misinterpreted. My mistake. 224 00:09:00,159 --> 00:09:02,270 Station 19, respond. 225 00:09:02,294 --> 00:09:04,639 - Aid Car 19, civilian in distress. - Uh... 226 00:09:04,663 --> 00:09:06,741 You ready, boss? 'Sup, Tanner? 227 00:09:06,765 --> 00:09:08,609 Who does that? 228 00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:10,411 Who just up and takes a job in a new place 229 00:09:10,435 --> 00:09:12,712 without even telling the people closest to them? 230 00:09:12,736 --> 00:09:14,648 I did, actually. Twice. 231 00:09:14,672 --> 00:09:16,439 Kind of going on three times, now that I think about it. 232 00:09:17,521 --> 00:09:18,618 When does Tanner go? 233 00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,620 He said he leaves right after the funeral. 234 00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:25,792 Hey, what's it like? 235 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:26,793 What's what like? 236 00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:28,795 I've never been to a firefighter funeral. 237 00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:30,931 I realize I don't know where to sit, 238 00:09:30,955 --> 00:09:32,699 when to salute, what to expect. 239 00:09:32,723 --> 00:09:36,437 Expect... something beautiful. 240 00:09:36,461 --> 00:09:39,673 It's sad and hard, but it's also really... 241 00:09:39,697 --> 00:09:41,375 - Well, the Honor Guard will be there. - Right. 242 00:09:41,399 --> 00:09:43,177 They, uh... They're the ones with the axes. 243 00:09:43,201 --> 00:09:45,078 And Miller keeps talking about bells. 244 00:09:45,102 --> 00:09:46,646 Near the end of the funeral, 245 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:49,148 someone will ring twenty bells... five at a time... 246 00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,852 to signify a firefighter's end of watch. 247 00:09:51,876 --> 00:09:53,587 They ring them in every station, 248 00:09:53,611 --> 00:09:56,389 and it's to announce that... 249 00:09:56,413 --> 00:09:59,020 one of us has come home for the last time. 250 00:09:59,717 --> 00:10:00,961 That is beautiful. 251 00:10:00,985 --> 00:10:02,818 And sad. 252 00:10:04,154 --> 00:10:06,193 My dad rang the bells. 253 00:10:06,557 --> 00:10:08,902 The night of my mom's funeral, too. 254 00:10:08,926 --> 00:10:10,670 We came home, 255 00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:13,807 he went up to their room, closed the door, and... 256 00:10:13,831 --> 00:10:16,620 I heard him ringing a bell. 257 00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:19,311 And I just sat out in the hall 258 00:10:19,335 --> 00:10:23,883 and listened as he rang it over and over. 259 00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:34,259 Uh, looks like we're here. 260 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,860 Seattle Fire Department! 261 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,741 Dispatch said he called it in himself. 262 00:10:48,765 --> 00:10:50,998 Maybe he lost consciousness. 263 00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:57,582 Hello? Is anyone in here? 264 00:10:57,606 --> 00:10:58,750 Seattle Fire Department! 265 00:10:58,774 --> 00:11:00,452 Yes, help! In here! 266 00:11:02,945 --> 00:11:05,857 Alright. Just give it to me straight, please. 267 00:11:05,881 --> 00:11:07,426 Is it as bad as it looks? 268 00:11:09,952 --> 00:11:11,463 How bad is it, really? 269 00:11:11,487 --> 00:11:12,597 Nate, I can definitely say 270 00:11:12,621 --> 00:11:13,765 I've seen worse things than this. 271 00:11:13,789 --> 00:11:15,067 I should've been more careful. 272 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,801 It's just that I-I like to do things myself, 273 00:11:16,825 --> 00:11:18,136 and I should've called someone. 274 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,171 Ow! 275 00:11:19,195 --> 00:11:21,373 Arm of the chandelier is penetrating pretty deep. 276 00:11:21,397 --> 00:11:22,674 Looks like it's plugging the axillary. 277 00:11:22,698 --> 00:11:24,976 I slipped, and, just like that, it was falling on top of me. 278 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,743 We are gonna get you out now, Nate. 279 00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:28,212 My life flashed before my eyes. 280 00:11:28,236 --> 00:11:30,247 You never see it coming, do you? 281 00:11:30,271 --> 00:11:32,049 I mean, one minute, you're just doing what you do, 282 00:11:32,073 --> 00:11:35,141 and the next... it could just be over. 283 00:11:36,411 --> 00:11:38,021 Well, it's not over for you today, Nate. 284 00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:39,290 Okay? We got you. 285 00:11:39,314 --> 00:11:40,591 This is gonna be pretty loud, Nate, 286 00:11:40,615 --> 00:11:41,758 so... just hold still. 287 00:11:49,023 --> 00:11:50,067 Ugh. 288 00:11:50,091 --> 00:11:51,890 Hold on. Hold on. 289 00:11:53,828 --> 00:11:55,928 Yeah, got it. 290 00:11:58,866 --> 00:12:00,477 Wait, you're not gonna take the whole thing out? 291 00:12:00,501 --> 00:12:01,645 Well, it's plugging a vessel, 292 00:12:01,669 --> 00:12:04,103 so right now, we want it to stay put. 293 00:12:05,106 --> 00:12:06,105 Go. 294 00:12:09,094 --> 00:12:10,186 Ready? 295 00:12:10,210 --> 00:12:11,989 So, what's gonna happen at the hospital? 296 00:12:12,013 --> 00:12:13,090 They're gonna take the whole thing out there, right? 297 00:12:13,114 --> 00:12:14,691 One, two, three. 298 00:12:14,715 --> 00:12:16,292 Nate, can you hear me? 299 00:12:16,316 --> 00:12:18,862 - BP's dropping! - He's tachycardic, too. 300 00:12:18,886 --> 00:12:20,097 Didn't even get him to the gurney. 301 00:12:20,121 --> 00:12:22,365 Start another IV. Prepping norepinephrine. 302 00:12:22,389 --> 00:12:24,189 - Still dropping. - Pushing now. 303 00:12:27,145 --> 00:12:29,354 Come on, Nate. 304 00:12:29,378 --> 00:12:31,059 Numbers are coming back up. 305 00:12:32,716 --> 00:12:33,894 Ready? 306 00:12:33,918 --> 00:12:35,562 One, two, three. 307 00:12:39,757 --> 00:12:41,568 Am I at the hospital? 308 00:12:41,592 --> 00:12:42,536 Not yet, buddy. 309 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,971 But, uh, we need to get you there right now. 310 00:12:44,995 --> 00:12:46,406 Why do I feel so weird? 311 00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:47,340 You know, that's normal, Nate. 312 00:12:47,364 --> 00:12:48,909 Your brain was briefly deprived of oxygen. 313 00:12:48,933 --> 00:12:50,243 But for real, it feels like 314 00:12:50,267 --> 00:12:52,178 there's a brick on my chest or something. 315 00:12:52,202 --> 00:12:53,847 - He's losing consciousness again. - Damn it! 316 00:12:57,807 --> 00:12:59,284 Can I ask you a personal question? 317 00:12:59,308 --> 00:13:00,786 Uh, it depends on how personal. 318 00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:01,854 I'm pretty much an open book, 319 00:13:01,878 --> 00:13:03,923 but there are some things I like to keep private. 320 00:13:03,947 --> 00:13:06,224 - Like my birthmarks, for instance... - Did you write a eulogy? 321 00:13:06,248 --> 00:13:07,949 For your husband? 322 00:13:08,952 --> 00:13:09,862 Look, I'm just asking 323 00:13:09,886 --> 00:13:11,564 because I'm trying to write one for Ripley. 324 00:13:11,588 --> 00:13:12,865 Sorry. I can't help you. 325 00:13:12,889 --> 00:13:14,939 Of course. No problem. 326 00:13:14,963 --> 00:13:18,136 No, I mean I can't help you 'cause I couldn't help myself. 327 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,874 I couldn't bring myself to say a word at Michael's service. 328 00:13:21,898 --> 00:13:24,256 You know who did end up speaking, though? 329 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:25,644 Ripley. 330 00:13:25,668 --> 00:13:28,854 Yeah, he said some really wonderful things, actually. 331 00:13:29,732 --> 00:13:31,876 - Like what? - I don't even really remember. 332 00:13:32,141 --> 00:13:34,052 I just remember that it meant a lot, 333 00:13:34,076 --> 00:13:35,753 you know, for the Chief to take the time 334 00:13:35,777 --> 00:13:37,922 to get up there and say words about my Michael like that. 335 00:13:37,946 --> 00:13:41,158 See, I need to figure out words that'll do that. 336 00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:43,667 Especially for Hughes. 337 00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,871 Oh, I thought you'd heard. 338 00:13:45,896 --> 00:13:48,808 Vic isn't planning on going. 339 00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:56,985 Fact. I'm older than you. 340 00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,922 Are we playing a game? 341 00:13:58,947 --> 00:14:01,393 Fact. Because I am older than you, 342 00:14:01,418 --> 00:14:03,861 I, by default, have had more life experience than you. 343 00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:06,097 - Okay. - More experience to learn from. 344 00:14:06,122 --> 00:14:08,735 Experience that lets me know things 345 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,805 that you've yet to learn for yourself. 346 00:14:10,830 --> 00:14:12,037 I feel like you're going somewhere with this, 347 00:14:12,062 --> 00:14:13,123 somewhere I'm probably not gonna like. 348 00:14:13,148 --> 00:14:14,559 - You need bagpipes. - Pardon? 349 00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:16,027 To drown out your thoughts. 350 00:14:16,051 --> 00:14:17,996 They play at most firefighter funerals. 351 00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:20,297 They're loud and a little startling at first, 352 00:14:20,321 --> 00:14:21,666 but then you start to feel their hum. 353 00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:23,401 You feel it right inside your chest... 354 00:14:23,425 --> 00:14:24,569 Yeah, I-I, um... I don't need bagpipes. 355 00:14:24,593 --> 00:14:26,080 Oh, you will change your mind once you experience... 356 00:14:26,104 --> 00:14:27,621 No, I d... I don't need bagpipes. 357 00:14:29,031 --> 00:14:30,408 No offense, sir, 358 00:14:30,432 --> 00:14:31,976 but I also don't need your advice. 359 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,461 Not on this. Excuse me. 360 00:14:39,140 --> 00:14:41,452 Our med kit's almost out of nor-epi now. 361 00:14:41,476 --> 00:14:43,220 Don't say that like he'll need more of it. 362 00:14:43,244 --> 00:14:44,621 Are you trying to jinx us? 363 00:14:44,645 --> 00:14:45,956 Just want to make a note. 364 00:14:47,014 --> 00:14:50,483 Aah, no, no. This can't happen again. 365 00:14:51,619 --> 00:14:53,997 - BP is 90 over 50 and dropping. - He's bottoming out. 366 00:14:54,021 --> 00:14:55,533 I'm worried about his airway. 367 00:14:55,557 --> 00:14:56,989 We need to intubate. 368 00:14:58,159 --> 00:15:01,338 At this rate, we'll get him to the hospital in about a month. 369 00:15:01,362 --> 00:15:03,941 I would rather not try this at sixty miles an hour. 370 00:15:03,965 --> 00:15:05,023 This has got to be the last thing 371 00:15:05,047 --> 00:15:06,277 that goes wrong with this guy, right? 372 00:15:06,301 --> 00:15:08,845 And the tube is... in. 373 00:15:08,869 --> 00:15:09,955 Bag him. 374 00:15:10,671 --> 00:15:12,049 Okay. Let's load him up. 375 00:15:14,508 --> 00:15:16,508 Quick, quick, quick. 376 00:15:17,945 --> 00:15:19,723 I promised you it wasn't over today, Nate. 377 00:15:19,747 --> 00:15:21,458 But you got to meet us halfway. 378 00:15:21,482 --> 00:15:23,359 We should be good. Just keep bagging. 379 00:15:25,052 --> 00:15:26,663 Try not to hit any potholes. 380 00:15:31,025 --> 00:15:32,903 Pressure's dropping. Are fluids on full flow? 381 00:15:32,927 --> 00:15:35,138 Watch the road. How much longer to the hospital? 382 00:15:35,162 --> 00:15:36,740 Seattle Pres is about 6 minutes out. 383 00:15:36,764 --> 00:15:37,908 Just make sure to keep an eye on his heart rate. 384 00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:41,111 I said avoid the potholes! 385 00:15:41,135 --> 00:15:43,113 - We may need to use QuikClot. - I got it, Warren. 386 00:15:43,137 --> 00:15:44,380 It couldn't hurt to hang another bag. 387 00:15:44,404 --> 00:15:46,048 Yeah, it wouldn't hurt you to drive better. 388 00:15:47,441 --> 00:15:49,328 Are you kidding me, Nate? 389 00:15:49,743 --> 00:15:51,087 V-fib! 390 00:15:51,111 --> 00:15:52,522 - Starting... - Start the defibrillator! 391 00:15:55,528 --> 00:15:57,327 Shock delivered. 392 00:15:57,351 --> 00:15:58,863 Still in V-fib. Damn it. 393 00:16:01,455 --> 00:16:02,965 Shock delivered. 394 00:16:04,324 --> 00:16:05,635 Pull over, Warren! 395 00:16:05,659 --> 00:16:07,003 But we have to get him to the hospital! 396 00:16:07,027 --> 00:16:08,838 I've just started two-person CPR, 397 00:16:08,862 --> 00:16:09,905 and I only see one of us back here. 398 00:16:09,929 --> 00:16:12,208 So either you put the Aid Car on cruise control, 399 00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:13,909 or you pull over now! 400 00:16:20,428 --> 00:16:22,307 Come on, Nate. Come on. 401 00:16:22,331 --> 00:16:24,238 He's asystolic. 402 00:16:24,265 --> 00:16:25,376 Run saline wide open. 403 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,576 No, no, no, no, no. Andy, look. 404 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,878 He's bleeding from the impalement. 405 00:16:27,902 --> 00:16:30,080 Every compression is pushing more and more blood out of his body. 406 00:16:30,104 --> 00:16:32,349 - We can't just stop CPR. - I know. I know. 407 00:16:33,841 --> 00:16:35,219 Well... 408 00:16:35,243 --> 00:16:36,553 CPR isn't gonna bring him back 409 00:16:36,577 --> 00:16:38,522 if there's no blood left to pump. 410 00:16:38,546 --> 00:16:39,924 We can't work with this thing in. 411 00:16:39,948 --> 00:16:42,426 So we should remove it? He can bleed out. 412 00:16:42,450 --> 00:16:45,261 I'll pack it right away. And then hold pressure. 413 00:16:45,285 --> 00:16:46,896 Look, it's safer than what he's got now. 414 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:50,566 Whatever you do, do not stop compressions. 415 00:17:00,567 --> 00:17:02,078 - Warren. - Yeah, I know. 416 00:17:02,102 --> 00:17:03,346 - I know. - This is a lot of blood. 417 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,636 Just a few more seconds. 418 00:17:07,107 --> 00:17:08,273 Ben! 419 00:17:09,742 --> 00:17:10,786 Got it! He's packed! 420 00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:12,978 Holding pressure. 421 00:17:16,984 --> 00:17:18,226 Normal sinus rhythm. 422 00:17:18,250 --> 00:17:20,795 - How far away are we from the hospital? - About 3 minutes. 423 00:17:20,819 --> 00:17:22,431 - Can you hold pressure that long? - Hell yeah I can. 424 00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:24,421 Good, 'cause we're not making any more stops. 425 00:17:25,491 --> 00:17:27,035 Just try not to hit any potholes. 426 00:17:32,698 --> 00:17:34,909 Hughes? Brought somebody to see you. 427 00:17:34,933 --> 00:17:38,746 I thought we could all maybe, uh, talk for a minute. 428 00:17:38,770 --> 00:17:40,648 I've got to get these organized for Station 42, 429 00:17:40,672 --> 00:17:41,829 but be my guest. 430 00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:44,052 Okay, I may not be someone 431 00:17:44,076 --> 00:17:45,720 that you're anxious to see right now, 432 00:17:45,744 --> 00:17:47,722 but when Robert called and said that you weren't... 433 00:17:47,746 --> 00:17:49,724 Vic, you have to be there at the funeral. 434 00:17:49,748 --> 00:17:52,259 - You have to go. - I have to get these MREs sorted 435 00:17:52,283 --> 00:17:54,362 before the guys from 42 show to pick them up, so... 436 00:17:54,386 --> 00:17:57,365 Wildfire strike teams are usually 22 firefighters. 437 00:17:57,389 --> 00:18:00,868 Three MREs a day, that makes 66... 438 00:18:00,892 --> 00:18:02,370 Hey. 439 00:18:02,394 --> 00:18:05,026 Why don't you, um, stop for a second. 440 00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:06,407 Okay? 441 00:18:06,431 --> 00:18:07,909 Look, you and Jen 442 00:18:07,933 --> 00:18:09,443 are the most important people in Luke's life... 443 00:18:09,467 --> 00:18:10,514 You ever had one of these? 444 00:18:10,538 --> 00:18:12,480 It's basically freeze dried food. 445 00:18:12,504 --> 00:18:14,348 It seems pretty gross, but once you heat it up, it's not that bad. 446 00:18:14,372 --> 00:18:16,936 Okay, Vic. He would've wanted you there. 447 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,653 I want you to be there. 448 00:18:18,677 --> 00:18:20,287 I need you by my side. 449 00:18:20,311 --> 00:18:22,390 You're gonna have an entire department of people there. 450 00:18:22,414 --> 00:18:24,726 You'll have Captain Sullivan. You don't need me. 451 00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:26,527 He'd want you there... both of you. 452 00:18:26,551 --> 00:18:29,396 Well, I'm not going, so... 453 00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:31,498 - Please? - No, I can't. I can't. 454 00:18:31,522 --> 00:18:33,000 Okay? I can't. I'm sorry. 455 00:18:33,024 --> 00:18:34,668 I can't go stand through 456 00:18:34,692 --> 00:18:36,537 a day of being tall and polished and perfect 457 00:18:36,561 --> 00:18:39,428 a-and celebrating his life when... 458 00:18:40,665 --> 00:18:42,843 You know, I need to get back to work, so... 459 00:18:42,867 --> 00:18:44,477 Okay. 460 00:18:58,382 --> 00:19:00,526 - Are you really still crying? - I can't control it. 461 00:19:00,550 --> 00:19:03,495 - Wouldn't hurt to try. - I am trying, but I can't shut it off. 462 00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:05,264 - Debatable. - And I hate that I can't shut it off 463 00:19:05,288 --> 00:19:07,633 because I am not a person who cries. 464 00:19:07,657 --> 00:19:10,570 I suck my feelings up, I stuff 'em down, I embrace the pain, 465 00:19:10,594 --> 00:19:12,538 but today, I just... I can't make it stop. 466 00:19:12,562 --> 00:19:14,574 So can you just stop making me feel bad about it? 467 00:19:14,598 --> 00:19:16,709 - I'm not trying to make you feel bad... - Well, you are. 468 00:19:16,733 --> 00:19:18,410 - It's just a little distracting. - Oh, my God! 469 00:19:18,434 --> 00:19:19,705 Anemones. 470 00:19:20,336 --> 00:19:22,014 - What did he just say? - What? 471 00:19:22,038 --> 00:19:23,549 You two are sea anemones. 472 00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:25,417 We're not enemies. 473 00:19:25,441 --> 00:19:27,519 I-I know. 474 00:19:27,543 --> 00:19:29,421 I said sea anemones. 475 00:19:29,445 --> 00:19:30,990 Shady, little underwater invertebrates, 476 00:19:31,014 --> 00:19:33,614 and you got your tentacles waving all over the place. 477 00:19:35,918 --> 00:19:37,629 - What is he talking about? - I have no idea. 478 00:19:37,653 --> 00:19:39,497 Squishy, freaky sea predators. 479 00:19:39,521 --> 00:19:41,733 When you strike, nobody ever sees it coming. 480 00:19:41,757 --> 00:19:42,901 But when you're threatened, 481 00:19:42,925 --> 00:19:45,070 you close yourselves off into these tiny, little balls 482 00:19:45,094 --> 00:19:46,237 so that nobody can touch you. 483 00:19:46,261 --> 00:19:49,440 And the only time you come out is to strike each other. 484 00:19:49,464 --> 00:19:52,110 You two got together in a fishbowl. 485 00:19:52,134 --> 00:19:53,544 And now you're wading through the open sea. 486 00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:56,581 So no wonder you're having trouble right now. 487 00:19:56,605 --> 00:19:57,742 No wonder you can't figure it out. 488 00:19:57,766 --> 00:20:00,551 No wonder you keep stinging each other. 489 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:02,453 I hate to say this, but I think he's starting to make sense. 490 00:20:02,477 --> 00:20:04,589 Maya, do you want to know why you're crying? 491 00:20:04,613 --> 00:20:06,290 It's because you're sad. 492 00:20:06,314 --> 00:20:08,593 There doesn't have to be any other reason. 493 00:20:08,617 --> 00:20:10,460 You're sad today. We all are. 494 00:20:10,484 --> 00:20:13,030 And you just so happen to be wearing it all over your face. 495 00:20:13,054 --> 00:20:15,599 And Jack, you're not really annoyed with her for crying. 496 00:20:15,623 --> 00:20:18,035 You're in a garbage mood because... 497 00:20:18,059 --> 00:20:21,972 the chief went down, and it's hard. 498 00:20:21,996 --> 00:20:23,874 It's a tough one. 499 00:20:23,898 --> 00:20:26,910 We all thought he was invincible, and he wasn't. 500 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,746 And it's probably stirring up some stuff. 501 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:30,614 So just take that in. 502 00:20:30,638 --> 00:20:34,718 Let's sway in this current and not fight it 503 00:20:34,742 --> 00:20:36,842 and appreciate the fact that you two are still here today. 504 00:20:38,646 --> 00:20:40,428 And you have each other. 505 00:20:44,518 --> 00:20:46,663 I don't know where all that sea creature stuff came from, 506 00:20:46,687 --> 00:20:50,504 but, uh... surprisingly helpful, man. 507 00:20:51,192 --> 00:20:52,135 Thank you. 508 00:20:52,159 --> 00:20:53,670 You're welcome. 509 00:20:53,694 --> 00:20:56,473 It all came from Nikki. 510 00:20:56,497 --> 00:20:59,008 She's really observant and communicative, 511 00:20:59,032 --> 00:21:01,778 and somehow, it is rubbing off on me. 512 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,280 She sounds really amazing. 513 00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:04,681 She is. 514 00:21:04,705 --> 00:21:05,748 Blow your nose. 515 00:21:05,772 --> 00:21:07,950 You finally went on that first date, huh? 516 00:21:07,974 --> 00:21:09,952 Uh, we had plans, but I kinda canceled 517 00:21:09,976 --> 00:21:11,721 because grief isn't sexy. 518 00:21:12,913 --> 00:21:15,325 Wait, then why are we taking relationship advice from him? 519 00:21:15,349 --> 00:21:17,294 Because I am right. 520 00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:18,494 Here. 521 00:21:18,518 --> 00:21:20,329 Blow your nose. 522 00:21:20,353 --> 00:21:21,397 Again. 523 00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:28,604 34-year-old male found impaled in the chest by a chandelier. 524 00:21:28,628 --> 00:21:29,638 He arrested twice en route... 525 00:21:29,662 --> 00:21:31,708 V-fib the first time and asystolic the second. 526 00:21:31,732 --> 00:21:33,176 We initiated CPR 527 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,944 and intubated with a total of four shocks, 528 00:21:34,968 --> 00:21:35,999 epi, and a norepi drip. 529 00:21:36,023 --> 00:21:37,914 Oh, and we removed his impalement. 530 00:21:37,938 --> 00:21:39,048 That it? 531 00:21:39,072 --> 00:21:40,183 We'll take it from here. 532 00:21:40,207 --> 00:21:42,018 Thank you. 533 00:21:42,042 --> 00:21:43,720 Whew. 534 00:21:43,744 --> 00:21:45,354 You know, I don't think I have taken a breath 535 00:21:45,378 --> 00:21:47,223 since we kicked down Nate's door. 536 00:21:47,247 --> 00:21:48,791 What? 537 00:21:48,815 --> 00:21:50,893 Nothing. Just... you have no idea. 538 00:21:50,917 --> 00:21:53,128 I... Today was already one thing after another, 539 00:21:53,152 --> 00:21:56,164 and I thought the call would take my mind off all the things, 540 00:21:56,188 --> 00:21:58,234 but apparently, I'm living in a world of whack-a-mole. 541 00:21:58,258 --> 00:21:59,368 Is everything alright? 542 00:21:59,392 --> 00:22:01,570 Ryan's leaving, and I shouldn't care, but I kinda do. 543 00:22:01,594 --> 00:22:04,139 But I don't, because what's more important is I'm helping Vic. 544 00:22:04,163 --> 00:22:06,542 Except I'm not because she's sneaking out of my apartment, 545 00:22:06,566 --> 00:22:08,577 leaving me with Maya, who I can't even talk to right now. 546 00:22:08,601 --> 00:22:10,546 And... And then I get stuck with the guy who keeps dying. 547 00:22:10,570 --> 00:22:13,482 Yeah. And someone I really looked up to did die, and... 548 00:22:13,506 --> 00:22:15,251 You know, through all of it, 549 00:22:15,275 --> 00:22:18,987 all I can hear is the sound of those damn bells 550 00:22:19,011 --> 00:22:21,056 coming from my dad's room. 551 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:24,559 I'm 9 years old all over again, 552 00:22:24,583 --> 00:22:28,130 and a-all this stuff is coming up that I don't know how to... 553 00:22:28,154 --> 00:22:29,364 I don't know how to clamp it down, 554 00:22:29,388 --> 00:22:30,632 I don't know how to make it go away. 555 00:22:30,656 --> 00:22:33,534 One bleeder at a time. 556 00:22:33,558 --> 00:22:34,569 What? 557 00:22:34,593 --> 00:22:37,335 One bleeder at a time. 558 00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:38,774 I-It's something I learned when I was a surgeon. 559 00:22:38,798 --> 00:22:39,941 When you open a patient up 560 00:22:39,965 --> 00:22:40,976 and everywhere you look, 561 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,978 there's something bleeding or falling apar... 562 00:22:43,002 --> 00:22:44,785 when it's damage control, 563 00:22:45,637 --> 00:22:50,607 all you can do is tackle one bleeder at a time. 564 00:23:05,256 --> 00:23:07,134 - Some call, huh? - Ooh. 565 00:23:07,158 --> 00:23:09,770 I don't think you'd believe me if I told you. 566 00:23:09,794 --> 00:23:11,471 How's the eulogy going? 567 00:23:11,495 --> 00:23:13,355 It's not. 568 00:23:13,798 --> 00:23:15,409 I think I'm just too close to it. 569 00:23:15,433 --> 00:23:16,743 Nothing sounds right. 570 00:23:18,837 --> 00:23:21,682 Did you speak at your wife's funeral? 571 00:23:21,706 --> 00:23:23,250 Yes, I did. 572 00:23:23,274 --> 00:23:25,242 Or I t... I tried. 573 00:23:25,844 --> 00:23:28,755 Started off okay, but then I just lost it. 574 00:23:28,779 --> 00:23:30,424 - Mm. - Barely even remember now. 575 00:23:30,448 --> 00:23:32,165 Um, I think I was... 576 00:23:32,782 --> 00:23:35,628 I was really raw, you know? 577 00:23:35,652 --> 00:23:38,431 Did you speak at your mom's? 578 00:23:38,455 --> 00:23:41,067 I was 9, so I didn't speak. 579 00:23:41,091 --> 00:23:43,303 - I don't think I spoke the whole day. - Mm. 580 00:23:43,327 --> 00:23:44,845 Barely. 581 00:23:45,462 --> 00:23:48,181 I was raw, too. 582 00:23:48,866 --> 00:23:50,643 Still am. 583 00:23:50,667 --> 00:23:51,677 Yeah. 584 00:23:51,701 --> 00:23:53,935 So, use it. 585 00:23:55,712 --> 00:23:58,775 Be raw if you need to be raw. 586 00:24:00,193 --> 00:24:02,088 Y-You don't have to write a word 587 00:24:02,112 --> 00:24:04,207 or read a word you write. 588 00:24:04,231 --> 00:24:08,535 Just... get up there and talk. 589 00:24:09,418 --> 00:24:10,984 Talk to him. 590 00:24:12,821 --> 00:24:14,499 It doesn't matter, 591 00:24:14,524 --> 00:24:16,135 not when it comes from the heart. 592 00:24:22,231 --> 00:24:24,009 I just hope Vic will be there to hear it. 593 00:24:42,319 --> 00:24:43,428 Any update on Vic? 594 00:24:45,354 --> 00:24:46,398 Afraid not. 595 00:24:46,422 --> 00:24:48,033 She's really not coming? 596 00:25:04,706 --> 00:25:06,418 There's still time... 597 00:25:06,442 --> 00:25:07,852 if you want change your mind, get dressed. 598 00:25:07,876 --> 00:25:09,977 Nope, I'm good. 599 00:25:13,049 --> 00:25:15,215 I don't think that's true. 600 00:25:17,517 --> 00:25:19,651 How many different ways do I have to say it? 601 00:25:21,342 --> 00:25:22,552 How many different times? 602 00:25:22,690 --> 00:25:24,433 I'm fine. I'm good. 603 00:25:24,638 --> 00:25:26,152 I'm coping. I don't want to go. 604 00:25:26,177 --> 00:25:30,421 Nobody wants to go to a funeral. 605 00:25:30,665 --> 00:25:31,675 But it is good to go. 606 00:25:31,699 --> 00:25:34,045 It gives you clarity. It gives you closure. 607 00:25:34,069 --> 00:25:35,980 Yeah, I don't need any of those things. I already got 'em. 608 00:25:36,004 --> 00:25:37,048 No, you don't. 609 00:25:37,072 --> 00:25:40,043 I just, um... I need you to back off of me, please. 610 00:25:40,258 --> 00:25:41,419 - You want me to back off? - Yeah. 611 00:25:41,443 --> 00:25:43,654 You want me to give you some space? 612 00:25:43,678 --> 00:25:46,690 Okay, you've had days of space, Vic, 613 00:25:46,714 --> 00:25:48,426 and you're still... 614 00:25:48,450 --> 00:25:50,226 You are in denial. 615 00:25:50,250 --> 00:25:52,095 You are not coping. 616 00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:53,770 Believe me, I know how hard it is 617 00:25:53,794 --> 00:25:54,897 - to accept what's happened. - Mm. 618 00:25:54,921 --> 00:25:55,999 You know I do. 619 00:25:56,023 --> 00:25:57,800 But trust me, when you lose a spouse like that... 620 00:25:57,824 --> 00:25:59,724 No, but I didn't... I didn't lose a spouse! 621 00:26:01,794 --> 00:26:04,150 We never got married, so I... You know what? I... 622 00:26:04,751 --> 00:26:07,195 I didn't get to lose a spouse. 623 00:26:08,335 --> 00:26:09,879 I didn't get to experience a marriage. 624 00:26:09,903 --> 00:26:10,880 I was robbed of that. 625 00:26:10,904 --> 00:26:12,871 Instead, I lost someone who... 626 00:26:16,416 --> 00:26:18,373 I lost someone who... 627 00:26:18,611 --> 00:26:22,585 very well may have been the love of my life. 628 00:26:23,616 --> 00:26:25,816 But he wasn't my husband. 629 00:26:28,708 --> 00:26:30,468 I'm nothing to him. 630 00:26:31,043 --> 00:26:32,820 Officially, on paper, I am nothing. 631 00:26:32,845 --> 00:26:36,792 So... yeah, maybe I don't... 632 00:26:36,817 --> 00:26:39,229 maybe I don't want to accept that particular truth right now. 633 00:26:39,254 --> 00:26:42,133 But you don't get to pretend like you know what that's like. 634 00:26:42,158 --> 00:26:43,481 You don't. 635 00:26:43,994 --> 00:26:45,038 You don't know what this is like, 636 00:26:45,063 --> 00:26:46,274 so stop parading around here 637 00:26:46,299 --> 00:26:48,443 talking about me behind my back to... 638 00:26:48,468 --> 00:26:49,845 to anyone else in the station 639 00:26:49,870 --> 00:26:52,749 because I'm not acting like you want me to act. 640 00:26:52,774 --> 00:26:54,752 I am not you! 641 00:26:54,777 --> 00:26:56,722 Lucas is not Michael! 642 00:26:56,747 --> 00:26:59,059 Okay, your husband died two years ago! 643 00:26:59,084 --> 00:27:00,728 If anybody is in denial right now... 644 00:27:00,753 --> 00:27:01,773 Say it. Do it. 645 00:27:01,798 --> 00:27:02,832 - Just... Don't. - It's okay. 646 00:27:02,857 --> 00:27:03,967 Say whatever you want to say. 647 00:27:03,992 --> 00:27:05,804 You want to scream at me, wail on me? I don't care. 648 00:27:05,829 --> 00:27:08,340 Just get all that anger out right now. 649 00:27:08,365 --> 00:27:10,076 Because if you don't, it will keep bubbling up 650 00:27:10,101 --> 00:27:11,846 and it will come out worse 651 00:27:11,871 --> 00:27:14,416 - in some other way, onto someone else. - Oh, my God. 652 00:27:14,441 --> 00:27:15,985 - You can't see it right now, Vic... - Okay. 653 00:27:16,010 --> 00:27:17,822 - ...but even getting mad... - Just shut u... Shut up! 654 00:27:17,847 --> 00:27:20,977 - ...it's a healthy first step! - Just shut... shut up! 655 00:27:22,567 --> 00:27:24,314 Just stop talking to me. 656 00:27:25,044 --> 00:27:26,941 And go to the funeral. 657 00:27:27,339 --> 00:27:29,652 Just... Just go. 658 00:27:37,519 --> 00:27:39,255 Excuse me. Are you Victoria Hughes? 659 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,058 What? 660 00:27:41,082 --> 00:27:42,059 I'm sorry, can I... can I help you? 661 00:27:42,083 --> 00:27:45,996 It's... It's probably weird that I, uh... 662 00:27:46,020 --> 00:27:48,098 Dr. Bailey told me what you look like... 663 00:27:48,122 --> 00:27:50,934 And I'm so sorry for your loss. 664 00:27:50,958 --> 00:27:52,867 I'm s... Who... Who are you? 665 00:27:52,868 --> 00:27:55,279 I'm Levi. I'm a-a doctor at Grey-Sloan. 666 00:27:55,303 --> 00:27:58,520 I was, uh, with Chief Ripley when he collapsed. 667 00:27:58,544 --> 00:28:00,308 We were both at the flower shop that day... 668 00:28:00,332 --> 00:28:02,172 the day that he was going to see you. 669 00:28:02,196 --> 00:28:04,702 And I wanted to give these to you. 670 00:28:04,726 --> 00:28:06,856 They're the same ones that he picked out. 671 00:28:07,248 --> 00:28:11,050 N-Not the same same, but, uh... anyway. 672 00:28:13,387 --> 00:28:15,632 He wanted them to say... 673 00:28:15,890 --> 00:28:18,535 he was ready to spend the rest of his life with you. 674 00:28:19,536 --> 00:28:22,080 So, I guess I... 675 00:28:23,163 --> 00:28:25,831 I thought that you might like to see them. 676 00:28:33,541 --> 00:28:34,675 Thank you. 677 00:28:34,699 --> 00:28:37,020 Uh, I-I, um... 678 00:28:37,044 --> 00:28:38,589 I really need to get back to the hospital, 679 00:28:38,613 --> 00:28:40,357 but it was really nice to meet you. 680 00:28:40,381 --> 00:28:42,559 And I-I'm really sorry. 681 00:29:12,211 --> 00:29:15,024 Hey, hey. Hey. 682 00:29:32,731 --> 00:29:34,510 My badge. Where's my badge? 683 00:29:34,534 --> 00:29:36,333 Hey, hey. 684 00:29:37,836 --> 00:29:39,515 One bleeder at a time. 685 00:30:50,975 --> 00:30:53,454 I have to go meet the procession. 686 00:30:53,478 --> 00:30:55,423 You gonna be okay? 687 00:30:55,447 --> 00:30:56,857 Go. 688 00:30:56,881 --> 00:30:58,326 He hated being late. 689 00:31:00,747 --> 00:31:02,330 I'm fine, Robert. 690 00:31:02,354 --> 00:31:03,797 Really. 691 00:31:03,821 --> 00:31:06,299 - Alright. - Okay. 692 00:31:14,031 --> 00:31:15,609 May I join you? 693 00:31:15,633 --> 00:31:17,977 God, Vic. 694 00:31:18,001 --> 00:31:19,912 I am so glad you're here. 695 00:31:40,557 --> 00:31:42,067 Dean says I'm a sea anemone... 696 00:31:42,091 --> 00:31:43,068 What? 697 00:31:43,092 --> 00:31:44,370 ...which I think just means 698 00:31:44,394 --> 00:31:46,372 I keep things in to protect myself, 699 00:31:46,396 --> 00:31:48,494 even when I don't need to. 700 00:31:50,233 --> 00:31:52,166 I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about Jack. 701 00:31:53,593 --> 00:31:54,647 You tell me everything. 702 00:31:54,671 --> 00:31:57,216 I should've trusted you with my... 703 00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,017 poisonous anemone tentacles. 704 00:32:01,608 --> 00:32:03,468 I know funerals are hard for you. 705 00:32:04,113 --> 00:32:05,345 How you holding up? 706 00:32:06,482 --> 00:32:07,981 Better now. 707 00:32:30,038 --> 00:32:31,662 You made it. 708 00:32:32,274 --> 00:32:33,524 I did. 709 00:32:49,523 --> 00:32:51,167 Stay. 710 00:33:01,168 --> 00:33:05,382 And if, while on duty, I must answer death's call, 711 00:33:05,406 --> 00:33:10,709 bless with your protecting hand my family, one and all. 712 00:33:23,657 --> 00:33:27,224 I have been thinking a lot about what to say today. 713 00:33:29,362 --> 00:33:33,542 Chief Ripley was a boss to most of us in this room. 714 00:33:33,566 --> 00:33:36,145 We looked up to him. We respected him. 715 00:33:36,169 --> 00:33:40,249 As Chief, he gave everything to this department. 716 00:33:40,273 --> 00:33:46,277 As Lucas, he gave even more to those he loved outside it. 717 00:34:03,261 --> 00:34:05,256 To me, Lucas was a true friend. 718 00:34:06,119 --> 00:34:07,296 We really saw each other. 719 00:34:07,321 --> 00:34:10,200 We understood each other. 720 00:34:10,469 --> 00:34:12,314 Strengths and flaws. 721 00:34:12,338 --> 00:34:13,682 We fought. 722 00:34:13,706 --> 00:34:18,286 We made up... thankfully, not too late. 723 00:34:18,310 --> 00:34:20,555 Sometimes you connect with a person, 724 00:34:20,579 --> 00:34:22,815 and you can't always explain it. 725 00:34:23,649 --> 00:34:28,196 Over distance and time and impossible obstacles, 726 00:34:28,220 --> 00:34:31,465 you still find a way to each other. 727 00:34:31,489 --> 00:34:38,072 It's so rare to meet someone who connects with you that way. 728 00:34:38,096 --> 00:34:40,441 Someone who makes you want to face your fears 729 00:34:40,465 --> 00:34:43,127 head-on, eyes open. 730 00:34:45,070 --> 00:34:49,008 And it's so hard to say goodbye to them when they go. 731 00:34:49,841 --> 00:34:51,986 My last conversation with Luke, 732 00:34:52,010 --> 00:34:55,223 he told me not to say goodbye to him. 733 00:34:55,247 --> 00:35:00,186 Instead, I said, "We're good." 734 00:35:00,571 --> 00:35:02,448 I want to reiterate that now. 735 00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:09,403 We miss you, Luke. 736 00:35:11,021 --> 00:35:13,199 We wish you didn't leave us so soon. 737 00:35:14,465 --> 00:35:18,912 But since you did, since you had to... 738 00:35:22,139 --> 00:35:23,706 ...it's all good. 739 00:35:25,476 --> 00:35:27,320 We're all good. 740 00:35:30,548 --> 00:35:32,325 You were so good. 741 00:36:00,710 --> 00:36:02,355 When a firefighter dies, 742 00:36:02,379 --> 00:36:06,026 the toll of the bell represents their last alarm. 743 00:36:06,050 --> 00:36:07,670 The end of their duties. 744 00:36:09,226 --> 00:36:12,675 The bell rings to say their shift is over. 745 00:36:13,596 --> 00:36:15,696 They are going home. 746 00:36:47,933 --> 00:36:51,247 I first met Ripley on his, uh, second call as a rookie. 747 00:36:51,271 --> 00:36:54,688 Told him to grab that "left-handed halligan." 748 00:36:55,747 --> 00:36:57,591 Fire must've been out for at least 30 minutes 749 00:36:57,615 --> 00:36:59,393 before he realized that it didn't exist. 750 00:36:59,417 --> 00:37:00,928 Oh. 751 00:37:00,952 --> 00:37:02,797 To Chief Ripley. 752 00:37:02,821 --> 00:37:04,954 - To Chief Ripley. - To Ripley. 753 00:37:05,657 --> 00:37:06,900 - Yes! - No way. 754 00:37:06,924 --> 00:37:08,969 - Come on. - That's right. That's right. 755 00:37:08,993 --> 00:37:10,504 College was not a waste. 756 00:37:10,528 --> 00:37:12,239 It's all in the elbow, Dean. It's all in the elbow. 757 00:37:12,263 --> 00:37:13,607 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 758 00:37:13,631 --> 00:37:14,842 What am I seeing here? 759 00:37:14,866 --> 00:37:16,477 Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing? 760 00:37:16,501 --> 00:37:18,679 You never go out in public without that thing on. 761 00:37:18,703 --> 00:37:21,982 And you definitely do not go out drinking without that thing on! 762 00:37:22,006 --> 00:37:24,784 I do now. I do tonight. 763 00:37:24,808 --> 00:37:26,153 You know, we don't know what's gonna happen. 764 00:37:26,177 --> 00:37:27,821 I'm alive. I'm here. 765 00:37:27,845 --> 00:37:29,622 World's full of possibilities. 766 00:37:29,646 --> 00:37:31,992 I think that calls for another round. 767 00:37:32,016 --> 00:37:33,626 Uh, guys, how weird would it be 768 00:37:33,650 --> 00:37:35,462 if I accidentally scheduled my first date with Nikki 769 00:37:35,486 --> 00:37:36,830 for, let's say, right now? 770 00:37:36,854 --> 00:37:38,498 That seems like a terrible idea. 771 00:37:38,522 --> 00:37:40,367 How do you accidentally schedule a date? 772 00:37:40,391 --> 00:37:41,623 Hey! 773 00:37:42,526 --> 00:37:44,004 Hey. 774 00:37:44,028 --> 00:37:45,906 Oh. Hi. 775 00:37:45,930 --> 00:37:47,941 Hello. 776 00:37:47,965 --> 00:37:49,809 - Everyone, this is Nikki. - Nice to meet you. 777 00:37:49,833 --> 00:37:51,879 Well, this isn't intimidating at all. 778 00:37:51,903 --> 00:37:54,081 Oh, there's nothing to be intimidated by. 779 00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:55,381 Except for my quarters game. 780 00:37:55,405 --> 00:37:56,983 Are you in? 781 00:37:57,007 --> 00:37:59,018 I spent three years at Harvard, 782 00:37:59,042 --> 00:38:01,487 - in which I graduated summa cum laude... - Mm-hmm. 783 00:38:01,511 --> 00:38:03,811 ...broke the women's tennis record, and... 784 00:38:05,949 --> 00:38:07,493 ...became unbeatable at quarters. 785 00:38:08,885 --> 00:38:10,662 Let's get a drink. 786 00:38:10,686 --> 00:38:12,331 Maybe not at a wake. 787 00:38:12,355 --> 00:38:13,966 Let's. Lovely to meet you all. 788 00:38:13,990 --> 00:38:16,002 Nice to meet you. 789 00:38:16,026 --> 00:38:17,758 Yeah, I like her. 790 00:38:19,296 --> 00:38:21,554 Your eulogy was really moving. 791 00:38:22,299 --> 00:38:25,732 Really? I felt, uh, zoned out there. 792 00:38:25,756 --> 00:38:26,913 You spoke from your heart. 793 00:38:26,937 --> 00:38:28,644 It showed. 794 00:38:30,105 --> 00:38:31,683 You're alright. 795 00:38:35,545 --> 00:38:36,755 Thanks. 796 00:38:37,780 --> 00:38:41,126 So, um, if Jack wants to come over tonight... 797 00:38:41,150 --> 00:38:42,895 I'm okay with it, 798 00:38:42,919 --> 00:38:45,686 if he promises to pick up breakfast in the morning. 799 00:38:47,189 --> 00:38:49,034 Thanks. I mean it. 800 00:38:49,058 --> 00:38:50,101 Mm. 801 00:38:50,125 --> 00:38:51,570 But I think Vic should be the only one staying over 802 00:38:51,594 --> 00:38:53,038 for a while. 803 00:38:53,062 --> 00:38:55,240 Yeah. 804 00:38:55,264 --> 00:38:56,408 I think that's good. 805 00:38:56,432 --> 00:38:58,009 Do you know where she is? 806 00:38:58,033 --> 00:38:59,377 I haven't seen her. 807 00:38:59,401 --> 00:39:02,636 She... She said she wanted to be alone. 808 00:39:07,141 --> 00:39:08,653 Oh, those are beautiful flowers. 809 00:39:08,677 --> 00:39:09,687 Thank you. 810 00:39:09,711 --> 00:39:10,936 Uh, just you again? 811 00:39:11,947 --> 00:39:13,012 Yeah. 812 00:39:15,116 --> 00:39:17,127 When a firefighter dies, 813 00:39:17,151 --> 00:39:19,997 the toll of the bell represents their last alarm. 814 00:39:20,021 --> 00:39:20,965 So, did I tell you 815 00:39:20,989 --> 00:39:22,600 the crazy thing Ryan said 816 00:39:22,624 --> 00:39:25,503 about me and Sullivan, of all people? 817 00:39:25,527 --> 00:39:28,806 He said he thought we were together 818 00:39:28,830 --> 00:39:31,442 because of something he saw at the hospital or something. 819 00:39:31,466 --> 00:39:33,250 Yeah, I saw that, too. 820 00:39:33,935 --> 00:39:35,947 That wasn't anything. 821 00:39:35,971 --> 00:39:38,782 We're not... I mean, I'm... I'm definitely not... 822 00:39:38,806 --> 00:39:40,249 No? 823 00:39:40,273 --> 00:39:42,486 - No. - Mm. 824 00:39:44,277 --> 00:39:46,055 You sure about that? 825 00:39:48,983 --> 00:39:50,159 Once the bell rings... 826 00:39:52,319 --> 00:39:53,830 ...it can't be un-rung. 827 00:39:53,854 --> 00:39:56,165 - Just my usual, please. - Got it. 828 00:39:56,189 --> 00:39:58,768 Um, just so you know, I'm about to take off. 829 00:39:58,792 --> 00:40:00,604 Phil will be taking over for me. 830 00:40:00,628 --> 00:40:02,506 So if you need anything else 831 00:40:02,530 --> 00:40:04,474 or your husband's coming later, 832 00:40:04,498 --> 00:40:06,342 I could go ahead and put an order in now for you. 833 00:40:06,366 --> 00:40:08,077 - Just let me know. - Okay, thanks, Cam. 834 00:40:08,101 --> 00:40:09,078 You're welcome. 835 00:40:09,102 --> 00:40:10,847 There's no more denying it. 836 00:40:10,871 --> 00:40:13,282 The end is here. 837 00:40:13,306 --> 00:40:15,418 Okay. 838 00:40:15,442 --> 00:40:17,553 I'm calling it. Let's get you home. 839 00:40:17,577 --> 00:40:19,222 - But it's so early. - Hey. Two more of these. 840 00:40:19,246 --> 00:40:20,623 Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no. None for me. 841 00:40:20,647 --> 00:40:22,125 I-I got to get home to Miranda, you know? 842 00:40:22,149 --> 00:40:24,360 I can give you a ride or call you one. 843 00:40:24,384 --> 00:40:25,461 I don't know. 844 00:40:25,485 --> 00:40:28,197 I've got, uh, some mistakes to make tonight, Warren. 845 00:40:28,221 --> 00:40:29,999 - Yeah. - But, uh, I'll get a cab. 846 00:40:30,023 --> 00:40:31,034 Don't worry. Go home. 847 00:40:33,193 --> 00:40:34,270 - Alright. - Yeah, yeah. 848 00:40:36,163 --> 00:40:37,523 See you later. 849 00:40:37,926 --> 00:40:39,075 I'll take a beer. 850 00:40:43,403 --> 00:40:45,080 How's it going? 851 00:40:45,104 --> 00:40:46,481 I'm Jeremy. 852 00:40:46,505 --> 00:40:48,016 I'm Travis. 853 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:49,284 I know. 854 00:40:49,308 --> 00:40:50,485 You do? 855 00:40:50,509 --> 00:40:51,770 Yeah, you're the one who's friends 856 00:40:51,794 --> 00:40:54,022 with Ripley's little side hustle... 857 00:40:54,046 --> 00:40:55,323 Hughes, right? 858 00:40:55,347 --> 00:40:59,027 She looked wrecked at that ceremony. 859 00:40:59,051 --> 00:41:00,128 Come on, man. 860 00:41:00,152 --> 00:41:02,097 Give me the scoop. 861 00:41:02,121 --> 00:41:03,965 You need to stop talking right now. 862 00:41:03,989 --> 00:41:06,428 Oh, don't tell me you're getting a piece of that, too. 863 00:41:06,453 --> 00:41:07,969 Whoa, whoa! 864 00:41:07,993 --> 00:41:10,972 The bell rings to say the shift is over. 865 00:41:12,864 --> 00:41:14,176 Hey, uh, Cam? 866 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,178 Oh. Need something else? 867 00:41:19,770 --> 00:41:23,306 You know the, uh... the guy I'm always in here with? 868 00:41:25,443 --> 00:41:27,489 He's not my husband. 869 00:41:28,699 --> 00:41:31,024 And I, uh... 870 00:41:31,048 --> 00:41:35,629 I lied to you before when you asked where he was. 871 00:41:35,653 --> 00:41:37,231 He wasn't at work. 872 00:41:40,391 --> 00:41:44,905 He wasn't a-at work... 873 00:41:46,631 --> 00:41:49,009 ...because he died. 874 00:41:56,773 --> 00:41:58,784 That's, um... 875 00:42:00,477 --> 00:42:02,021 That... That sucks. 876 00:42:02,045 --> 00:42:04,257 The bell rings to say goodbye. 877 00:42:07,018 --> 00:42:08,461 Yeah, it super does. 878 00:42:08,485 --> 00:42:10,330 The bell rings to say... 879 00:42:11,921 --> 00:42:14,370 ...it's time to go home.