1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,788 A few times a year, there was a dedicated day 2 00:00:02,791 --> 00:00:04,791 where my school was closed. 3 00:00:04,793 --> 00:00:06,923 This allowed the teachers to catch up 4 00:00:06,925 --> 00:00:08,664 on their administrative duties. 5 00:00:08,666 --> 00:00:11,493 While I was normally against a break from learning, 6 00:00:11,495 --> 00:00:14,496 I did applaud the Medford faculty's commitment 7 00:00:14,498 --> 00:00:16,585 - to our education. - Oh, man. 8 00:00:16,587 --> 00:00:19,719 - How great is this place without kids in it? - I heard that. 9 00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:22,243 On one of those days, I got to spend time 10 00:00:22,245 --> 00:00:23,723 with my mom at her job. 11 00:00:23,725 --> 00:00:24,854 Did you write that? 12 00:00:24,856 --> 00:00:27,030 - You betcha. - Instead of puns, 13 00:00:27,032 --> 00:00:29,859 have you considered composing a humorous palindrome? 14 00:00:29,861 --> 00:00:32,993 It's a phrase that reads the same backwards as forwards. 15 00:00:32,995 --> 00:00:35,693 For example, "Do geese see God?" 16 00:00:37,260 --> 00:00:38,999 Trust me. Both ways. 17 00:00:39,001 --> 00:00:41,305 Come inside. 18 00:00:41,307 --> 00:00:44,744 Some other good ones are radar, level, kayak. 19 00:00:44,746 --> 00:00:46,746 That's a funny word. Kayak. 20 00:00:46,748 --> 00:00:48,443 Never get me in one. 21 00:00:48,445 --> 00:00:50,926 So what's the plan? 22 00:00:50,929 --> 00:00:52,520 How will I be entertained all day? 23 00:00:52,523 --> 00:00:54,579 I thought you could be my little helper. 24 00:00:54,581 --> 00:00:57,626 I prefer executive assistant. Carries more weight. 25 00:00:57,628 --> 00:01:00,934 Fine. You stay here, I'm gonna go talk to Pastor Jeff. 26 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,196 Mom. 27 00:01:02,198 --> 00:01:03,371 What? 28 00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:06,202 "Mom" is also a palindrome. M-O-M. 29 00:01:10,554 --> 00:01:11,875 Good morning, Peg. 30 00:01:11,878 --> 00:01:15,035 Any morning you wake up is a good morning. 31 00:01:15,037 --> 00:01:16,906 Okay. 32 00:01:18,605 --> 00:01:20,344 Come in. 33 00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:22,956 Good morn... oh, it's dark in here. 34 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,522 Uh-huh. 35 00:01:24,524 --> 00:01:26,568 Everything okay? 36 00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:28,613 Mm-hmm. 37 00:01:28,615 --> 00:01:31,401 I need you to use your words. 38 00:01:33,272 --> 00:01:35,446 My marriage is over. 39 00:01:35,448 --> 00:01:36,883 Mm-hmm... 40 00:01:54,156 --> 00:02:00,122 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - ... www.Addic7ed.com ... 41 00:02:00,125 --> 00:02:02,386 We don't even sleep in the same bed anymore. 42 00:02:02,388 --> 00:02:05,911 In the '50s, people had separate beds. 43 00:02:05,914 --> 00:02:08,786 Lucy and Ricky did it. Their marriage worked. 44 00:02:10,222 --> 00:02:13,223 I-I'm sure it's just a rough patch. 45 00:02:13,225 --> 00:02:15,573 Boy, I hope so. 46 00:02:15,575 --> 00:02:18,098 Well, if there's any way I can make your life easier, 47 00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,664 you let me know. 48 00:02:19,666 --> 00:02:22,495 Thank you, Mary. I really appreciate it. 49 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:28,151 Oh, I almost forgot, um, Sheldon's here with me today. 50 00:02:28,153 --> 00:02:30,112 Great. 51 00:02:45,257 --> 00:02:47,562 Hey, little man. How you doing? 52 00:02:47,564 --> 00:02:49,607 You smell like cigarettes. 53 00:02:49,609 --> 00:02:51,343 You're fun. 54 00:02:51,346 --> 00:02:53,176 Do you know what this binder is? 55 00:02:53,178 --> 00:02:57,224 It's a record of donations people make to the church. 56 00:02:57,226 --> 00:02:59,095 This data could easily be transferred 57 00:02:59,097 --> 00:03:00,705 into a computerized spreadsheet. 58 00:03:00,707 --> 00:03:01,881 Why isn't it? 59 00:03:01,883 --> 00:03:03,099 No idea. 60 00:03:03,101 --> 00:03:06,278 You also smell like mothballs and Ben-Gay. 61 00:03:07,889 --> 00:03:09,716 Bye. 62 00:03:12,415 --> 00:03:15,895 I hope you don't mind, I invited Pastor Jeff for dinner. 63 00:03:15,897 --> 00:03:16,983 That's fine. 64 00:03:16,985 --> 00:03:18,419 I was talking to your father. 65 00:03:18,421 --> 00:03:19,724 What's the occasion? 66 00:03:19,726 --> 00:03:22,771 No occasion, just thought it'd be nice. 67 00:03:22,773 --> 00:03:24,164 His wife coming, too? 68 00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:26,209 No. Just him. 69 00:03:26,211 --> 00:03:27,384 They having problems? 70 00:03:27,386 --> 00:03:29,430 He's just coming to dinner. That's all. 71 00:03:29,432 --> 00:03:31,084 You two having problems? 72 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,132 Are we? 73 00:03:32,135 --> 00:03:33,173 No. 74 00:03:33,175 --> 00:03:34,391 Pastor Jeff's wife 75 00:03:34,393 --> 00:03:36,002 is so much prettier than him. 76 00:03:36,004 --> 00:03:38,134 It's like Barbie married a turtle. 77 00:03:38,136 --> 00:03:40,658 Hey. Here's a fun idea: 78 00:03:40,660 --> 00:03:42,399 how about you and Sheldon have dinner 79 00:03:42,401 --> 00:03:44,619 - at Meemaw's tonight? - All right. 80 00:03:44,621 --> 00:03:46,859 They area weird-looking couple. 81 00:03:46,862 --> 00:03:48,536 You want to eat at my mom's, too? 82 00:03:48,538 --> 00:03:50,496 Oh, come on. You got eyes. 83 00:03:55,070 --> 00:03:57,364 Pastor, would you like to lead us in grace? 84 00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:59,939 I'd be honored. 85 00:03:59,941 --> 00:04:03,078 Heavenly Father, thank you for this food. 86 00:04:03,081 --> 00:04:05,988 I pray that it nourishes and strengthens us, 87 00:04:05,990 --> 00:04:08,469 and bless Mary for preparing it. 88 00:04:08,471 --> 00:04:10,601 And thank you for the Coopers 89 00:04:10,603 --> 00:04:15,041 who have invited me into their loving home. 90 00:04:15,043 --> 00:04:18,044 They are a shining example 91 00:04:18,046 --> 00:04:21,125 of what a marriage can be. 92 00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:26,051 One that I hope to have again someday. 93 00:04:26,054 --> 00:04:28,706 Amen. And please give me the strength... 94 00:04:28,708 --> 00:04:29,794 Sorry. 95 00:04:29,796 --> 00:04:32,058 The strength to walk this road 96 00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:36,765 with unconditional love and joy in my heart. 97 00:04:36,768 --> 00:04:37,898 Amen. 98 00:04:37,901 --> 00:04:39,195 - Amen. - Amen. 99 00:04:42,070 --> 00:04:44,159 Well, let's eat! 100 00:04:45,464 --> 00:04:48,390 - Cheers. - Cheers. 101 00:04:48,467 --> 00:04:50,337 - Cheers. - Cheers. 102 00:04:50,339 --> 00:04:53,253 Dang, this place is nice. 103 00:04:53,255 --> 00:04:56,082 That's because it was supposed to be a date. 104 00:04:56,084 --> 00:04:57,640 Cool. My first date. 105 00:04:57,643 --> 00:04:59,855 Meemaw, I've been going through the church records, 106 00:04:59,858 --> 00:05:02,770 and I noticed you haven't made a donation in quite a long time. 107 00:05:02,773 --> 00:05:05,056 Why are you going through the records? 108 00:05:05,059 --> 00:05:07,059 I'm an executive assistant. 109 00:05:07,062 --> 00:05:08,616 - Good for you. - You see, 110 00:05:08,618 --> 00:05:11,549 God and I have a deal. And when he helps me win big 111 00:05:11,552 --> 00:05:13,676 at the casino, I give him a cut. 112 00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:15,405 And lately, he has not been holding up 113 00:05:15,407 --> 00:05:17,190 his part of the bargain. 114 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:20,701 "Steak aw poyverwith fritties"? 115 00:05:20,704 --> 00:05:22,442 - It's French. - Oh. 116 00:05:22,445 --> 00:05:24,023 What's a crock monster? 117 00:05:24,025 --> 00:05:25,720 It's croque monsieur, 118 00:05:25,722 --> 00:05:29,593 and it's really just a grilled cheese sandwich with ham. 119 00:05:29,595 --> 00:05:31,334 I want that. 120 00:05:31,336 --> 00:05:34,383 There's lemon in this water. 121 00:05:43,348 --> 00:05:45,696 So, uh, who do you think the Oilers 122 00:05:45,698 --> 00:05:47,307 are gonna take in the draft? 123 00:05:47,309 --> 00:05:49,702 Oh, I don't really follow sports. 124 00:05:50,703 --> 00:05:52,312 I'm just gonna eat. 125 00:05:56,187 --> 00:05:58,579 What's he doing here? Y'all getting a divorce? 126 00:05:58,581 --> 00:06:01,538 No. No, he's just here for dinner. 127 00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:04,889 Oh. Welcome, Your Holiness. 128 00:06:04,891 --> 00:06:08,226 I thought you were hanging out with Veronica tonight. 129 00:06:08,229 --> 00:06:10,751 We were supposed to, but then she invited a bunch 130 00:06:10,754 --> 00:06:12,406 of her choir friends over, 131 00:06:12,409 --> 00:06:14,725 and it turned into a stupid Bible study. 132 00:06:14,727 --> 00:06:16,796 - No offense. - None taken. 133 00:06:16,799 --> 00:06:18,103 - Hmm. - Honestly, 134 00:06:18,106 --> 00:06:20,106 I do not understand the female mind. 135 00:06:20,109 --> 00:06:21,640 Do something. 136 00:06:21,643 --> 00:06:24,560 Georgie, why don't you go eat dinner in front of the TV? 137 00:06:24,563 --> 00:06:27,390 No, it's all right. Sounds like Georgie's having trouble 138 00:06:27,392 --> 00:06:29,125 navigating the perilous waters 139 00:06:29,128 --> 00:06:30,915 of a relationship. 140 00:06:30,917 --> 00:06:33,092 Believe me, I can understand. 141 00:06:33,094 --> 00:06:35,574 You having problems with your hot wife? 142 00:06:38,186 --> 00:06:40,405 Maybe I'll go eat by the TV. 143 00:06:44,366 --> 00:06:46,601 I'm liking my crock monster. 144 00:06:46,604 --> 00:06:48,126 Mmm. Me, too. 145 00:06:48,129 --> 00:06:50,586 I can't taste anything after the lemon water. 146 00:06:50,589 --> 00:06:52,840 I'm glad y'all are having a good time. 147 00:06:52,843 --> 00:06:53,903 You're welcome. 148 00:06:53,906 --> 00:06:55,375 Where we having dinner tomorrow? 149 00:06:55,377 --> 00:06:56,828 Nowhere. 150 00:06:56,831 --> 00:07:00,248 Dr. Sturgis and I are going to Louisiana, do a little gambling. 151 00:07:00,251 --> 00:07:02,556 So a donation could be forth coming? 152 00:07:02,558 --> 00:07:03,948 Don't jinx me. 153 00:07:03,950 --> 00:07:07,070 It's my first time going to a casino. 154 00:07:07,073 --> 00:07:10,432 It's amazing. There's bright lights and bells and buzzers 155 00:07:10,435 --> 00:07:11,739 and people yelling. 156 00:07:11,741 --> 00:07:13,438 Ugh. 157 00:07:15,788 --> 00:07:18,311 Veronica says I'm the nicest guy she knows. 158 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,559 She also says she only wants to date nice guys. 159 00:07:20,562 --> 00:07:22,924 - Does that mean she wants to date me? - I bet she doesn't. 160 00:07:22,926 --> 00:07:25,148 No, she does not. Doesn't make any sense. 161 00:07:25,151 --> 00:07:27,275 Nothing they do makes any sense. 162 00:07:27,278 --> 00:07:30,192 - I know... - At least he's not crying anymore. 163 00:07:30,194 --> 00:07:32,132 Devil's got something to do with it. 164 00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:40,773 Mary, George, I can't thank you enough for this. 165 00:07:40,776 --> 00:07:42,289 It was our pleasure. 166 00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:45,358 So, Pastor, are you gonna try 167 00:07:45,361 --> 00:07:47,406 and talk things out with Selena? 168 00:07:47,409 --> 00:07:49,664 Well, we're really not on speaking terms, 169 00:07:49,667 --> 00:07:52,812 so I'll just be heading back to my office, sleep on the couch. 170 00:07:52,815 --> 00:07:55,642 That's ridiculous. He can stay with us, can't he? 171 00:07:55,645 --> 00:07:58,695 Uh, I guess that'd be okay. 172 00:07:58,697 --> 00:08:01,023 - Of course it would. - Oh. 173 00:08:01,026 --> 00:08:02,916 I couldn't possibly impose. 174 00:08:02,919 --> 00:08:04,048 Sure you could. 175 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:06,747 In fact, you can take my room. 176 00:08:06,749 --> 00:08:09,924 Well, y'all are too kind. 177 00:08:11,231 --> 00:08:12,531 - Hello. - Oh. 178 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,055 Did y'all have a good time? 179 00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:15,289 - Yes. - It was great. 180 00:08:15,292 --> 00:08:17,898 Oh, Mom, Pastor Jeff is gonna be spending the night. 181 00:08:17,901 --> 00:08:19,814 If the kids could sleep at your place? 182 00:08:19,817 --> 00:08:21,632 No. Bye. 183 00:08:32,397 --> 00:08:34,048 George. 184 00:08:34,051 --> 00:08:36,138 What? What's wrong? 185 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,490 The pastor's up making tea. 186 00:08:38,493 --> 00:08:40,667 What, you want me to blow on it? 187 00:08:40,670 --> 00:08:42,496 Go talk to him. 188 00:08:42,499 --> 00:08:43,889 About what? 189 00:08:43,892 --> 00:08:45,585 I don't know. 190 00:08:45,588 --> 00:08:47,632 Maybe you could give him a male perspective 191 00:08:47,635 --> 00:08:49,880 on relationship issues. 192 00:08:49,883 --> 00:08:51,753 How about this? 193 00:08:51,755 --> 00:08:55,367 What if I close my eyes and pray on it? 194 00:08:56,629 --> 00:08:57,976 Hey. 195 00:08:57,978 --> 00:09:00,762 Oh, hi. I hope I didn't wake you. 196 00:09:00,764 --> 00:09:04,548 Uh, no, no. Just... get-getting some water. 197 00:09:06,335 --> 00:09:09,207 Can I fix you some chamomile? 198 00:09:10,252 --> 00:09:11,775 No, thanks. 199 00:09:14,165 --> 00:09:17,156 So... 200 00:09:20,043 --> 00:09:21,851 Tough times, huh? 201 00:09:21,854 --> 00:09:23,140 Yeah. 202 00:09:23,222 --> 00:09:24,789 Yeah. 203 00:09:37,191 --> 00:09:39,757 Hey, uh, does the Bible say anything 204 00:09:39,759 --> 00:09:41,846 about heartache and such? 205 00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:45,459 Psalm 147, verse three: "The Lord healeth 206 00:09:45,461 --> 00:09:48,113 the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds." 207 00:09:48,115 --> 00:09:50,351 Well, there you go-eth. 208 00:09:50,354 --> 00:09:52,682 Except I'm feeling kicked in the nethers right now, 209 00:09:52,685 --> 00:09:55,469 and he sure is taking his sweet time with the healing. 210 00:09:55,471 --> 00:09:58,430 He takes his sweet time about a lot of things. 211 00:09:59,823 --> 00:10:01,289 Uh, not that I'm complaining. 212 00:10:01,292 --> 00:10:04,249 You know, his will, not mine, et cetera. 213 00:10:11,530 --> 00:10:13,443 You know, one thing I can say is that 214 00:10:13,445 --> 00:10:17,406 having a happy marriage is... it's hard work. 215 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:20,057 Oh, I know. As the pastor, people come to me 216 00:10:20,060 --> 00:10:22,203 with relationship problems all the time. 217 00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:24,933 Bet you hear some juicy ones, huh? 218 00:10:24,935 --> 00:10:26,935 "Juicy" doesn't begin to describe it. 219 00:10:26,937 --> 00:10:29,781 - Oh... give me a sample. - I can't. 220 00:10:29,784 --> 00:10:33,356 There's strict pastor-flock confidentiality. 221 00:10:33,359 --> 00:10:35,030 Sure. Sure. 222 00:10:35,032 --> 00:10:37,077 Mm. 223 00:10:39,123 --> 00:10:41,602 Mary doesn't tell you things about us, does she? 224 00:10:41,604 --> 00:10:44,474 I'm... not at liberty to say. 225 00:10:44,476 --> 00:10:46,694 But she does, doesn't she? 226 00:10:46,696 --> 00:10:49,220 - Yeah. - Yeah. 227 00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:58,885 These people clearly don't know what ten percent means. 228 00:10:58,888 --> 00:11:00,406 What are you talking about? 229 00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,491 This is the list of all the people who belong 230 00:11:02,494 --> 00:11:04,538 to the church and how much money they donate. 231 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:07,236 Dorothy and Fred Nelson gave a dollar last week. 232 00:11:07,238 --> 00:11:09,891 - So? - They own the Piggly Wiggly. 233 00:11:09,893 --> 00:11:11,545 They can afford to give much more. 234 00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:12,850 Weird. 235 00:11:12,852 --> 00:11:15,725 You say "Piggly Wiggly" and suddenly I'm hungry. 236 00:11:18,249 --> 00:11:19,553 Really? 237 00:11:19,555 --> 00:11:21,250 You're drinking in the morning now? 238 00:11:21,252 --> 00:11:24,145 What? Oh, look at that. 239 00:11:24,148 --> 00:11:25,733 Felt later. 240 00:11:25,735 --> 00:11:27,895 Hey, I haven't seen the pastor. He go home? 241 00:11:27,898 --> 00:11:30,433 He hasn't come out of Georgie's room. 242 00:11:30,435 --> 00:11:32,914 Maybe he found Georgie's magazines. 243 00:11:32,916 --> 00:11:35,356 He's a man of God. 244 00:11:35,359 --> 00:11:37,399 You're adorable. 245 00:11:44,841 --> 00:11:46,632 I have stories. Come back here. 246 00:11:46,635 --> 00:11:49,015 - It's my favorite table. - Oh, hey, Connie. 247 00:11:49,018 --> 00:11:50,626 Hi, Felicia. 248 00:11:50,629 --> 00:11:52,065 Chip me for a deuce. 249 00:11:53,197 --> 00:11:54,588 How's your daughter doing? 250 00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:55,893 Oh, surgery went great. 251 00:11:55,895 --> 00:11:56,938 Thanks for asking. 252 00:11:56,940 --> 00:11:58,757 Her daughter got kicked by a horse. 253 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,681 - They had to pin a couple of bones together. - Oh, my. 254 00:12:01,684 --> 00:12:03,466 She won't be stealing any more horses 255 00:12:03,468 --> 00:12:04,772 for a little while. 256 00:12:04,774 --> 00:12:06,774 - Your usual, Connie? - Yeah. 257 00:12:06,776 --> 00:12:08,776 John, you want something? 258 00:12:08,778 --> 00:12:10,778 I would like a Fresca, please. 259 00:12:10,780 --> 00:12:12,465 - Got it, hon. - Connie. 260 00:12:12,468 --> 00:12:15,039 Duke-North Carolina's about to start. Want a piece? 261 00:12:15,042 --> 00:12:17,827 Yeah, baby. Give me the points on Duke for a nickel. 262 00:12:17,830 --> 00:12:19,613 - All right. - A nickel. 263 00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:21,005 That's a silly bet. 264 00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:22,529 It's 50 bucks. 265 00:12:22,531 --> 00:12:25,140 A thousand nickels. Less silly. 266 00:12:25,142 --> 00:12:27,679 I must say, uh... 267 00:12:27,682 --> 00:12:31,015 this is a side of you I've never... seen before. 268 00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:32,626 You're all right with it, aren't you? 269 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:33,888 Oh, sure. 270 00:12:33,890 --> 00:12:36,978 When are you gonna give that man your $50? 271 00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:39,154 Don't worry about it. Hit me. 272 00:12:39,156 --> 00:12:40,854 I'm a little worried. 273 00:12:44,901 --> 00:12:46,901 Pastor Jeff? 274 00:12:46,903 --> 00:12:48,990 Everything all right in there? 275 00:12:48,992 --> 00:12:50,687 Oh, yeah. 276 00:12:50,689 --> 00:12:52,918 I've just been praying, napping, crying. 277 00:12:52,921 --> 00:12:54,430 I like to mix it up. 278 00:12:54,432 --> 00:12:56,519 Well, how's it going? 279 00:12:56,521 --> 00:12:58,521 Good, actually. 280 00:12:58,523 --> 00:13:01,829 I have this feeling inside that I should head home. 281 00:13:01,831 --> 00:13:06,486 Well, then you got to honor that feeling, that's God. 282 00:13:06,488 --> 00:13:08,966 You're right. You want to come with? 283 00:13:08,968 --> 00:13:11,012 Do you really want me there 284 00:13:11,014 --> 00:13:13,101 while you patch things up with your wife? 285 00:13:13,103 --> 00:13:16,060 She's less likely to throw any steak knives if we have company. 286 00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:20,578 Um... if you think it'll help, I suppose... 287 00:13:20,581 --> 00:13:21,843 Great, let's hit it. 288 00:13:23,717 --> 00:13:25,021 Oh... 289 00:13:25,024 --> 00:13:27,945 Hello, is this the Nelson residence? 290 00:13:27,948 --> 00:13:29,813 Oh, good. I'm Sheldon Cooper, 291 00:13:29,815 --> 00:13:31,423 the executive assistant secretary 292 00:13:31,425 --> 00:13:33,469 at the First Baptist Church of Medford. 293 00:13:33,471 --> 00:13:35,427 I'm looking through our donation records, 294 00:13:35,429 --> 00:13:37,382 and I've noticed that you've tapered off a bit. 295 00:13:39,259 --> 00:13:41,999 Well, yes, your children's education is expensive, 296 00:13:42,001 --> 00:13:43,610 but so is running a church. 297 00:13:43,612 --> 00:13:45,394 Oh, boy! 298 00:13:45,396 --> 00:13:47,773 I'll be sure to tell the pastor. Goodbye. 299 00:13:50,749 --> 00:13:55,012 That earned a sip of Yoo-hoo. 300 00:13:55,014 --> 00:13:57,362 Okay. Who's next? 301 00:13:57,364 --> 00:13:59,843 Wendy and Bill Mackenzie. 302 00:13:59,845 --> 00:14:01,628 Of Mackenzie Chevrolet? 303 00:14:01,630 --> 00:14:04,369 Now those are what we call "deep pockets." 304 00:14:04,371 --> 00:14:08,591 Pat here, double the ten, and split the aces. 305 00:14:08,593 --> 00:14:09,853 Connie... 306 00:14:09,855 --> 00:14:12,943 I found an old-fashioned malt shop where we can 307 00:14:12,945 --> 00:14:16,046 have milkshakes and listen to the jukebox, 308 00:14:16,049 --> 00:14:17,818 like I never did in high school. 309 00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:19,789 Yeah, great. Not now, John. 310 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,736 Okay, well, I was just hoping we could do something together. 311 00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:26,217 For God's sake, John. I'm getting my ass kicked here! 312 00:14:26,219 --> 00:14:28,744 I'm sorry. 313 00:14:33,009 --> 00:14:36,576 Oh, Felicia, you're killing me. 314 00:14:38,188 --> 00:14:40,407 Chip me another deuce. 315 00:14:48,546 --> 00:14:50,459 Hello? 316 00:14:50,461 --> 00:14:51,810 Selena? 317 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,546 Ooh. Big TV, fancy. 318 00:15:04,997 --> 00:15:08,085 "Con amor, Selena." 319 00:15:08,087 --> 00:15:09,652 Which means? 320 00:15:09,654 --> 00:15:13,917 "Life is too short to be married to a loser. 321 00:15:13,919 --> 00:15:16,050 I'm leaving you. 322 00:15:16,052 --> 00:15:18,095 Love, Selena." 323 00:15:18,097 --> 00:15:19,953 "Love, Selena"? 324 00:15:19,956 --> 00:15:22,170 Well, that's kind of a mixed message. 325 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,812 Yeah. 326 00:15:26,371 --> 00:15:29,421 Oh, I couldn't tell you how much to give. 327 00:15:29,424 --> 00:15:31,687 But I can tell you the Stuckeys stepped up 328 00:15:31,690 --> 00:15:33,908 for a thousand dollars. 329 00:15:33,911 --> 00:15:37,913 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 330 00:15:37,916 --> 00:15:40,687 Well, you need to give what's comfortable for you. 331 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,559 And of course, I don't need to remind you, 332 00:15:42,562 --> 00:15:44,564 it's entirely tax deductible. 333 00:15:48,212 --> 00:15:50,038 And at the next pancake breakfast, 334 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,824 you can hold your head high. 335 00:15:53,913 --> 00:15:56,044 Thank you. That's very generous. 336 00:15:56,046 --> 00:15:57,177 Goodbye. 337 00:15:59,554 --> 00:16:01,223 The pancake line closed it. 338 00:16:01,225 --> 00:16:03,747 We are so going to heaven. 339 00:16:03,749 --> 00:16:06,097 I don't understand why God would tell me to go home 340 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,851 just to find out my wife left me. 341 00:16:07,854 --> 00:16:10,232 Not that he needs me to defend him, 342 00:16:10,234 --> 00:16:13,322 but in God's defense, he didn't say she'd be there. 343 00:16:13,324 --> 00:16:16,934 Mary, I hate to say this, but I think it's time 344 00:16:16,936 --> 00:16:18,240 for me to move on. 345 00:16:18,242 --> 00:16:20,459 I thought even as a teenager, I'd been called 346 00:16:20,461 --> 00:16:23,953 to preach the word of God, but maybe that was just my ego. 347 00:16:23,956 --> 00:16:25,989 Maybe I'm not meant to do this. 348 00:16:25,992 --> 00:16:29,351 Don't say that. You're a great preacher. 349 00:16:29,354 --> 00:16:32,950 Thank you. But it's clear. I need to trod a new path. 350 00:16:32,952 --> 00:16:36,296 Well, what would you do? Trodding wise. 351 00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:37,593 I don't know. 352 00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:40,870 Maybe work with my hands amongst men, on an oil rig, 353 00:16:40,873 --> 00:16:42,179 or a fishing trawler. 354 00:16:43,658 --> 00:16:46,007 I also know how to blow glass. 355 00:16:46,009 --> 00:16:48,444 I could turn a pretty penny at swap meets. 356 00:16:48,446 --> 00:16:52,640 - Those all sound like solid options. - Mm-hmm. 357 00:16:52,643 --> 00:16:54,904 Oh, red light, red light! 358 00:17:06,246 --> 00:17:09,031 Oh, phooey. 359 00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:10,381 Tell you what, Jody. 360 00:17:10,384 --> 00:17:13,124 Why don't you go upstairs to your daddy's bedroom, 361 00:17:13,127 --> 00:17:15,187 and see how much is in his wallet? 362 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,453 Don't worry, it's not stealing if it's for God. 363 00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:20,664 What are y'all up to? 364 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,044 Just helping Mom with some church work. 365 00:17:23,046 --> 00:17:25,872 Well, aren't you two great kids. 366 00:17:25,874 --> 00:17:27,744 We like to think so. 367 00:17:29,226 --> 00:17:31,789 Really? That much? 368 00:17:43,344 --> 00:17:45,910 I think I need to apologize. 369 00:17:45,912 --> 00:17:48,796 - I know you do. - I'm very sorry. 370 00:17:48,799 --> 00:17:50,637 Sometimes when things aren't going my way, 371 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,047 I just get a little cranky. 372 00:17:52,049 --> 00:17:55,224 - May I ask you a personal question? - Sure. 373 00:17:55,226 --> 00:17:58,533 Does your gambling constitute a problem? 374 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:02,666 Not today. Bam! 375 00:18:03,799 --> 00:18:05,817 Come on. Let me take you out to dinner. 376 00:18:07,203 --> 00:18:09,978 Don't forget that you promised Sheldon 377 00:18:09,980 --> 00:18:12,371 if you won, you'd donate to the church. 378 00:18:12,373 --> 00:18:14,192 You want to see me get cranky again? 379 00:18:14,195 --> 00:18:15,176 No, I don't. 380 00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,594 Well, let's go strap on some bibs and eat lobster. 381 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,074 Whoa! 382 00:18:19,076 --> 00:18:21,859 So you're over at First Baptist Church, huh? 383 00:18:21,861 --> 00:18:22,991 Yes, Officer. 384 00:18:22,993 --> 00:18:24,470 I'm new in this area. 385 00:18:24,472 --> 00:18:25,950 I've been looking for a church. 386 00:18:25,952 --> 00:18:29,171 Well, you're in luck. It's a wonderful congregation, 387 00:18:29,173 --> 00:18:32,168 and this man right here is our beloved pastor. 388 00:18:32,171 --> 00:18:35,786 Oh. Are you his wife? 389 00:18:35,788 --> 00:18:38,963 Oh, no, I'm church secretary. He's actually single. 390 00:18:38,965 --> 00:18:41,446 - Well, technically... - He's single. 391 00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:45,114 Well, I'll try to come by sometime. 392 00:18:45,117 --> 00:18:47,276 Tomorrow's Sunday. He'll be speaking. 393 00:18:47,278 --> 00:18:50,132 All right. Maybe I'll see y'all tomorrow. 394 00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:54,805 You have a nice day. 395 00:18:54,807 --> 00:18:56,640 Aren't you gonna give me a ticket? 396 00:18:57,549 --> 00:18:59,331 Do you wanta ticket? 397 00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:02,073 He does not. Thank you, Officer. 398 00:19:06,036 --> 00:19:08,819 - Pastor? - Yeah? 399 00:19:08,821 --> 00:19:10,473 You were saying you don't understand 400 00:19:10,475 --> 00:19:13,650 why God told you to go home. You get it now? 401 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,306 Think I do. 402 00:19:20,739 --> 00:19:22,015 Welcome, church. 403 00:19:22,018 --> 00:19:25,476 I pray you all had a blessed and prosperous week. 404 00:19:25,479 --> 00:19:28,453 I'm excited to share with you 405 00:19:28,456 --> 00:19:31,742 what the Lord put on my heart for today. 406 00:19:31,745 --> 00:19:33,702 I'm surprised you're here this morning. 407 00:19:33,705 --> 00:19:36,706 Hey. I got to support my pal. 408 00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:39,144 The renewal of faith is something that happens 409 00:19:39,147 --> 00:19:40,973 over and over. 410 00:19:40,976 --> 00:19:44,804 - When you have faith... - You need to move fast, Officer. 411 00:19:44,807 --> 00:19:46,894 He's not gonna be on the market for long. 412 00:19:46,897 --> 00:19:49,492 - Roger that. - For so many months, 413 00:19:49,495 --> 00:19:51,887 our little parish has been struggling financially. 414 00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:54,325 But by the grace of God and his provision, 415 00:19:54,328 --> 00:19:58,912 we have received the most donations in church history! 416 00:19:58,915 --> 00:20:00,305 Praise Jesus! 417 00:20:00,308 --> 00:20:03,440 Praise Jesus! 418 00:20:03,443 --> 00:20:06,538 So it's all Jesus, we don't get any credit? 419 00:20:06,541 --> 00:20:09,367 - We need to start our own church. - They don't pay taxes. 420 00:20:09,370 --> 00:20:12,110 It's a very sound business model. 421 00:20:12,113 --> 00:20:14,249 Say amen when you get there, huh? 422 00:20:14,252 --> 00:20:20,344 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - ... www.Addic7ed.com ...