1
00:00:00,073 --> 00:00:02,153
The customer can type in
what they're looking for.

2
00:00:02,176 --> 00:00:04,297
This will tell them where
in the store to find it.

3
00:00:04,298 --> 00:00:06,623
They can scan it themselves,
swipe their credit card,

4
00:00:06,624 --> 00:00:07,765
and leave the store.

5
00:00:07,766 --> 00:00:10,067
So basically, these scanners
are gonna make us obsolete.

6
00:00:10,068 --> 00:00:12,438
This is it! The robots
are coming for our jobs.

7
00:00:12,439 --> 00:00:14,617
Are the scanners gonna be
listening to everything we say

8
00:00:14,618 --> 00:00:15,440
like our phones do?

9
00:00:15,441 --> 00:00:16,875
Our phones do that?

10
00:00:16,876 --> 00:00:17,944
Absolutely.

11
00:00:17,950 --> 00:00:20,316
Last week, I was talking a lot
about penis enlargement.

12
00:00:20,317 --> 00:00:21,898
Now it's, like, every ad I see.

13
00:00:21,899 --> 00:00:23,982
Listen, technology has been
taking jobs for years.

14
00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:26,234
Think about what happened with
bank tellers and ATM machines.

15
00:00:26,236 --> 00:00:27,299
It's just ATMs.

16
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:29,298
Exactly. It's only ATM machines now.

17
00:00:29,367 --> 00:00:30,999
No, you don't need the "machines."

18
00:00:31,068 --> 00:00:33,635
Nobody needs the machines,
but it makes our lives easier.

19
00:00:33,977 --> 00:00:35,577
This is just the beginning.

20
00:00:35,738 --> 00:00:40,042
What kind of job will be left
for me 30 years from now?

21
00:00:42,546 --> 00:00:44,445
Powerlifter? Zumba instructor?

22
00:00:44,470 --> 00:00:46,609
Okay, everyone relax, all right?

23
00:00:46,634 --> 00:00:48,525
It's just a fancy price gun.

24
00:00:48,550 --> 00:00:51,084
It's not a threat,
no one's getting replaced.

25
00:00:51,288 --> 00:00:53,398
Yeah, yeah.

26
00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:56,869
Uh, also, um, lastly...

27
00:00:56,894 --> 00:00:58,560
Corporate is asking us
to cut back on some hours,

28
00:00:58,585 --> 00:01:00,552
so maybe check the schedule?
Okay, have a nice day!

29
00:01:01,085 --> 00:01:02,245
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?

30
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:07,097
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com

31
00:01:08,904 --> 00:01:10,750
I just don't think anybody's
gonna use these.

32
00:01:10,752 --> 00:01:11,871
Do you really think our customers

33
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,403
are gonna take the time to figure out

34
00:01:13,404 --> 00:01:15,042
how to make this thing work?

35
00:01:15,946 --> 00:01:18,738
- What was that?
- It just scanned that toaster.

36
00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:20,151
From here?

37
00:01:20,644 --> 00:01:21,884
Ooh, try aiming

38
00:01:21,952 --> 00:01:23,786
for the Breton three-quarter sleeve.

39
00:01:23,854 --> 00:01:25,587
- The what?
- The Breton?

40
00:01:25,656 --> 00:01:27,055
The boat neck poly blend?

41
00:01:27,124 --> 00:01:28,424
Come on, man.

42
00:01:28,492 --> 00:01:29,542
Sorry, straight men.

43
00:01:29,543 --> 00:01:31,041
The black and white shirt over there.

44
00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:34,788
Oh. Got it.
That's unbelievable.

45
00:01:34,965 --> 00:01:36,064
Hey Cheyenne,

46
00:01:36,089 --> 00:01:37,866
hold up that bag of chips
up above your head.

47
00:01:39,214 --> 00:01:40,241
Oh. Okay.

48
00:01:41,270 --> 00:01:42,448
Flamin' Hot Funyuns.

49
00:01:42,473 --> 00:01:44,405
- Yeah!
- Now spin around.

50
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:45,432
Okay.

51
00:01:45,433 --> 00:01:47,983
Well, I know what we'll be doing today.

52
00:01:49,698 --> 00:01:51,914
Got it! Flamin' Hot Funyuns.

53
00:01:51,982 --> 00:01:52,885
Whoo.

54
00:01:54,685 --> 00:01:57,019
So how many hours
are we all going to lose?

55
00:01:57,044 --> 00:01:59,388
Um, you know,
I can't say exactly right now.

56
00:01:59,457 --> 00:02:00,989
I'm still working on the schedule.

57
00:02:01,058 --> 00:02:02,658
We do know we'll have at least one tall

58
00:02:02,726 --> 00:02:03,859
and one skinny per shift.

59
00:02:03,861 --> 00:02:05,761
That way, we retain access
to high shelves

60
00:02:05,763 --> 00:02:06,772
and crawl spaces.

61
00:02:06,797 --> 00:02:08,764
Well I need all the hours I can get.

62
00:02:08,833 --> 00:02:11,066
I just signed my son up
for some STEM program

63
00:02:11,135 --> 00:02:13,297
- I can barely afford.
- STEM?

64
00:02:13,298 --> 00:02:16,505
Science, technology, um, energy.

65
00:02:16,530 --> 00:02:18,456
I don't know. Nerd stuff.

66
00:02:18,534 --> 00:02:21,175
I would hate having
to take that away from him.

67
00:02:21,245 --> 00:02:22,893
It would break his little heart.

68
00:02:24,165 --> 00:02:25,054
Hmm. Yeah.

69
00:02:25,079 --> 00:02:27,382
Please don't make me break
his little heart.

70
00:02:30,868 --> 00:02:32,588
- Woof.
- Well, this sucks.

71
00:02:32,656 --> 00:02:34,490
Corporate's the one reducing hours.

72
00:02:34,558 --> 00:02:36,225
I'm just the one making the schedule.

73
00:02:36,293 --> 00:02:38,527
Well, you can't really blame
them for trying to cut costs

74
00:02:38,596 --> 00:02:40,229
in this world of online retail.

75
00:02:40,297 --> 00:02:41,807
Have you been to FashionThreads.com?

76
00:02:41,832 --> 00:02:44,032
They sell everything we do,
but at half the price.

77
00:02:44,057 --> 00:02:44,875
Really?

78
00:02:47,912 --> 00:02:48,914
Okay, we have to stop talking

79
00:02:48,939 --> 00:02:50,572
about online retail in the store.

80
00:02:50,641 --> 00:02:51,974
Look, if people here are pissed at you,

81
00:02:52,042 --> 00:02:54,042
that's their problem.
Just shrug it off.

82
00:02:54,111 --> 00:02:55,677
Well, that's easy for you to say, Dina.

83
00:02:55,746 --> 00:02:57,212
You're not the one that they're
going to be blaming

84
00:02:57,281 --> 00:02:58,547
for taking away their pay.

85
00:02:58,616 --> 00:03:00,616
Hell, if you want, tell
everyone I made the schedule.

86
00:03:00,684 --> 00:03:01,664
I don't care if people hate me.

87
00:03:01,665 --> 00:03:03,585
In some sexual situations, I prefer it.

88
00:03:03,654 --> 00:03:05,087
Excuse me, what is that website again?

89
00:03:05,155 --> 00:03:06,221
FashionThreads.com,

90
00:03:06,290 --> 00:03:07,489
but if you want, I can send you a link,

91
00:03:07,558 --> 00:03:08,724
and then we'll both get a code
that gets us

92
00:03:08,792 --> 00:03:11,093
10% off our next purchase. Yes, please.

93
00:03:11,161 --> 00:03:12,569
Okay, what's your email?

94
00:03:12,570 --> 00:03:15,197
One, two, three,

95
00:03:15,266 --> 00:03:17,399
four, five and turn!

96
00:03:19,428 --> 00:03:20,984
- Me first! Me first!
- Oh, I got you, bitch!

97
00:03:21,009 --> 00:03:22,381
All right, it says "Gold Bond"

98
00:03:22,406 --> 00:03:23,505
"Medicated Foot Powder" was first.

99
00:03:23,617 --> 00:03:24,583
Which means the winner is

100
00:03:24,608 --> 00:03:26,742
Cheyenne "Sensodyne Rapid Relief" Lee!

101
00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:30,083
Oh, yeah! Sens-o-dyne!

102
00:03:30,108 --> 00:03:32,214
What is going on over here?

103
00:03:32,283 --> 00:03:33,659
We're playing scanner duel.

104
00:03:33,684 --> 00:03:36,120
Two people each get a scanner,
and then Mateo loses.

105
00:03:36,145 --> 00:03:38,220
That sounds like fun. Can I play?

106
00:03:38,441 --> 00:03:39,573
You wanna play?

107
00:03:39,598 --> 00:03:41,990
Yeah. Guys, I'm not the boss anymore.

108
00:03:42,059 --> 00:03:42,868
If you guys are having

109
00:03:42,893 --> 00:03:44,346
a little secret, naughty fun time,

110
00:03:44,348 --> 00:03:45,328
I'm into it.

111
00:03:45,918 --> 00:03:47,318
Unfortunate wording.

112
00:03:47,878 --> 00:03:49,599
Hey Amy?

113
00:03:49,767 --> 00:03:52,434
I saw I only have 30 hours next week.

114
00:03:52,503 --> 00:03:54,403
Yeah. Um, look, Sandra,

115
00:03:54,471 --> 00:03:56,238
everyone's hours have been cut.

116
00:03:56,307 --> 00:03:58,240
It's just a bad time for me.

117
00:03:58,309 --> 00:04:00,600
An identity thief stole my identity

118
00:04:00,625 --> 00:04:01,897
from the guy who stole it first,

119
00:04:01,922 --> 00:04:03,979
and the charges are racking up.

120
00:04:04,048 --> 00:04:05,647
Oh, wow.

121
00:04:05,672 --> 00:04:08,394
And then, remember that
Brazilian model who emailed me

122
00:04:08,419 --> 00:04:10,352
about opening a joint bank account?

123
00:04:10,421 --> 00:04:12,387
Well, that also went sideways.

124
00:04:12,456 --> 00:04:15,557
Look, Sandra, um,
I would help you if I could,

125
00:04:15,626 --> 00:04:18,894
but, um... Dina made the schedule.

126
00:04:18,963 --> 00:04:20,128
Hey Dina, um,

127
00:04:20,197 --> 00:04:22,831
do you think maybe you could
throw Sandra some hours?

128
00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:26,148
It seems like maybe you cut too many.

129
00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:29,350
Oh, yeah. No, sorry.

130
00:04:29,351 --> 00:04:31,039
The schedule I made
is the schedule I made.

131
00:04:31,108 --> 00:04:32,608
Come on, really?

132
00:04:32,676 --> 00:04:34,409
I mean, she's going
through a lot right now.

133
00:04:34,478 --> 00:04:36,478
Yeah, I mean, my credit is only 60

134
00:04:36,503 --> 00:04:38,380
and my Brazilian credit is two.

135
00:04:38,449 --> 00:04:40,694
Um, yeah, everybody has problems.

136
00:04:40,719 --> 00:04:42,518
Don't care. Not making any changes.

137
00:04:44,101 --> 00:04:45,798
Ugh! I mean, I'm sorry.

138
00:04:45,823 --> 00:04:47,723
I really do wish
that I could help you, Sandra,

139
00:04:47,748 --> 00:04:49,791
but it's... it's out of my hands.

140
00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:53,484
Yeah, well, thank you
for trying at least.

141
00:04:55,906 --> 00:04:56,949
Thank you.

142
00:04:56,974 --> 00:04:58,774
Listen, like I said,
it doesn't bother me.

143
00:04:58,843 --> 00:05:01,110
And, you know,
people dislike you enough.

144
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:03,302
We don't need to add
any fuel to that fire.

145
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:06,846
What fire?

146
00:05:10,309 --> 00:05:12,447
All right, so everybody's
got a UPC sticker.

147
00:05:12,449 --> 00:05:14,335
You're gonna put that
on your shirt or vest.

148
00:05:14,421 --> 00:05:15,383
Stickers on the vests!

149
00:05:15,408 --> 00:05:16,529
Okay, there's two teams...

150
00:05:16,571 --> 00:05:18,204
Two teams. One versus the other.

151
00:05:18,273 --> 00:05:19,539
Okay, Glenn, thank you
so much for the energy,

152
00:05:19,608 --> 00:05:20,673
but let's get through this.

153
00:05:20,742 --> 00:05:22,876
Uh, if you picked "soup,"
you are with me.

154
00:05:22,944 --> 00:05:25,052
If you picked "yogurt,"
you are with Garrett.

155
00:05:25,941 --> 00:05:27,958
I got peach yogurt, can I switch?

156
00:05:27,983 --> 00:05:29,849
'Cause peaches make
the inside of my mouth itch.

157
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:32,859
Okay, to be clear,
nobody is eating the product.

158
00:05:32,886 --> 00:05:34,587
- This is just a way...
- Don't eat the products!

159
00:05:34,656 --> 00:05:36,823
For us to divide up into teams.

160
00:05:36,892 --> 00:05:38,925
Um, mine says "plain."
Which team am I on?

161
00:05:38,994 --> 00:05:41,605
That's yogurt because there's
no such thing as plain soup.

162
00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,863
There was during the Depression.

163
00:05:43,888 --> 00:05:44,465
Good point.

164
00:05:44,466 --> 00:05:46,427
All right, guys, it's dodgeball rules,

165
00:05:46,428 --> 00:05:48,063
which means if you're hit,
you're eliminated.

166
00:05:48,143 --> 00:05:50,003
First team to eliminate
the other team wins.

167
00:05:50,028 --> 00:05:50,829
Any questions?

168
00:05:50,830 --> 00:05:52,771
Uh yeah, did Jonah put
all the white people

169
00:05:52,773 --> 00:05:53,941
on one team on purpose?

170
00:05:53,942 --> 00:05:57,877
Oh, um, no. That was just an accident.

171
00:05:57,946 --> 00:06:01,164
- Oh, a happy accident?
- I never said happy.

172
00:06:01,189 --> 00:06:03,283
- I heard you say happy.
- I think these teams are fine.

173
00:06:03,351 --> 00:06:05,351
No one asked what you think, Sandra.

174
00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:07,120
Oh, my God. Can we just play?

175
00:06:07,188 --> 00:06:08,588
Yes, thank you.

176
00:06:08,657 --> 00:06:10,723
Okay, two minute grace
period to disperse,

177
00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:12,825
and then the game begins. Good luck.

178
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:15,662
Let's go, white people!

179
00:06:17,666 --> 00:06:20,554
Hey Amy, I've only worked
two hours today,

180
00:06:20,579 --> 00:06:22,045
and now I'm supposed to go home?

181
00:06:22,253 --> 00:06:23,319
How is that fair?

182
00:06:24,443 --> 00:06:25,482
Um, I don't know.

183
00:06:25,507 --> 00:06:27,373
I didn't make the schedule. Dina did.

184
00:06:27,442 --> 00:06:30,209
Dina, um, is there anything
you could do for Marcus?

185
00:06:30,278 --> 00:06:31,878
I really need the money.

186
00:06:31,947 --> 00:06:34,247
My finances are a little
complicated right now.

187
00:06:34,316 --> 00:06:36,316
Afraid not. My hands are tied.

188
00:06:37,258 --> 00:06:39,919
Sorry, I just realized "frayed knot"...

189
00:06:39,988 --> 00:06:41,531
super solid rope pun.

190
00:06:41,556 --> 00:06:43,823
I've got to use that
on purpose some time.

191
00:06:44,693 --> 00:06:47,126
- Unbelievable.
- She cut my hours, too.

192
00:06:47,195 --> 00:06:49,228
So much for Jackson's STEM program.

193
00:06:49,297 --> 00:06:50,530
What's a STEM program?

194
00:06:50,598 --> 00:06:51,931
I don't know. Would everyone please

195
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,099
stop asking me that?

196
00:06:53,168 --> 00:06:54,834
Guys, I'm really sorry.

197
00:06:54,859 --> 00:06:56,469
Hey, don't blame yourself.

198
00:06:56,538 --> 00:06:58,911
You gave her a chance.
She's the one who whiffed it.

199
00:06:59,195 --> 00:07:01,708
Yeah, she totally whiffed it.

200
00:07:02,919 --> 00:07:04,944
Ugh! Why did I have to let her do it?

201
00:07:14,347 --> 00:07:17,494
Ah, Kim, you suck!
"American Sniper," baby!

202
00:07:17,994 --> 00:07:19,369
Why does she scream "American Sniper"

203
00:07:19,394 --> 00:07:21,494
every time she hits somebody?
It makes it so much worse.

204
00:07:21,563 --> 00:07:23,429
How are we supposed
to get her in there?

205
00:07:23,542 --> 00:07:25,375
If this was the real world,

206
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:26,766
I'd just chuck a grenade in there.

207
00:07:26,835 --> 00:07:28,510
And by real world,
you're talking about?

208
00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:29,702
"Call of Duty."

209
00:07:29,727 --> 00:07:31,437
Oh, we can throw a raccoon in there,

210
00:07:31,506 --> 00:07:33,635
except they're never around
when you need them.

211
00:07:33,716 --> 00:07:36,509
If there was just a way that
we could sneak up behind her.

212
00:07:36,578 --> 00:07:38,011
Oh, what about the service tunnel

213
00:07:38,079 --> 00:07:39,012
behind the walls?

214
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,380
You know, that's a great idea.

215
00:07:40,448 --> 00:07:41,981
Why don't you do that
and we'll distract her?

216
00:07:42,050 --> 00:07:42,979
Cover me.

217
00:07:45,671 --> 00:07:47,479
Why do we need to distract her?

218
00:07:48,323 --> 00:07:50,200
I don't know. I guess we don't.

219
00:07:50,225 --> 00:07:52,191
Yeah, it just seems
unnecessary, you know,

220
00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:53,336
if she's already facing out.

221
00:07:53,361 --> 00:07:54,660
It's, like, what would be the point?

222
00:07:54,729 --> 00:07:56,362
Okay, are we just going
to be picking things apart?

223
00:07:56,431 --> 00:07:58,297
Is that what you want to spend
the rest of the day doing?

224
00:07:58,410 --> 00:07:59,943
I mean, I come up with an idea, like...

225
00:07:59,968 --> 00:08:02,064
Yeah, well, you know
I'm right, so whatever.

226
00:08:08,075 --> 00:08:09,864
Sandra! Got you!

227
00:08:10,997 --> 00:08:13,042
Got you! Oh yeah!

228
00:08:13,043 --> 00:08:16,049
Yeah, I was waiting for you for hours!

229
00:08:16,117 --> 00:08:17,350
Yeah.

230
00:08:17,419 --> 00:08:19,619
- Oh, that was fun.
- Can I get you...

231
00:08:19,687 --> 00:08:22,221
- Help you out?
- Oh, thank you.

232
00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:24,656
Okay, let's... I...

233
00:08:25,693 --> 00:08:26,817
Thank you.

234
00:08:29,214 --> 00:08:30,997
Hey, is this your kid?

235
00:08:31,066 --> 00:08:34,133
No. I mean, yes.

236
00:08:34,202 --> 00:08:36,534
Eh, you already said no. Beat it.

237
00:08:37,877 --> 00:08:39,168
So what's your deal?
You waiting for someone

238
00:08:39,193 --> 00:08:40,426
to buy you liquor or something?

239
00:08:40,451 --> 00:08:43,485
No, I'm waiting for my mom.
She works here.

240
00:08:43,510 --> 00:08:45,310
- Who's your mom?
- Janet Woods.

241
00:08:45,677 --> 00:08:48,107
You didn't hear?
She died, like, a month ago.

242
00:08:48,542 --> 00:08:50,030
- What?
- Woods!

243
00:08:50,485 --> 00:08:53,487
Sorry, I was thinking Rogers.
No, no, your mom's not dead.

244
00:08:53,488 --> 00:08:55,808
She's very alive. Cool science kit.

245
00:08:55,853 --> 00:08:56,633
Thanks?

246
00:08:56,658 --> 00:08:58,191
I'm sorry you're not
going to be able to go

247
00:08:58,259 --> 00:08:59,659
to that STEM science program thing.

248
00:08:59,727 --> 00:09:01,694
It's just a tough economy
right now, you know?

249
00:09:02,287 --> 00:09:04,998
Wait, I can't go to the program?

250
00:09:06,215 --> 00:09:08,572
I don't know. I mean, maybe, maybe not.

251
00:09:08,574 --> 00:09:09,495
You should talk to your mom.

252
00:09:09,496 --> 00:09:11,506
I mean, she... she knows
you better than I do.

253
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:15,811
Oh, you're really Droopy Dog
about this, aren't you?

254
00:09:17,815 --> 00:09:18,599
Ah...

255
00:09:26,561 --> 00:09:27,717
Oh, God.

256
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,162
Oh, man!

257
00:09:32,896 --> 00:09:33,646
Marcus?

258
00:09:33,647 --> 00:09:34,765
Whoa!

259
00:09:34,766 --> 00:09:36,453
Hey, Mateo.

260
00:09:37,259 --> 00:09:38,567
What are you doing here?

261
00:09:38,592 --> 00:09:42,571
Oh, just got, uh, sent home early.

262
00:09:44,268 --> 00:09:45,712
Are you living here?

263
00:09:46,009 --> 00:09:49,144
What, like some homeless person?

264
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,356
No, no! God, no.

265
00:09:51,381 --> 00:09:52,414
I...

266
00:09:52,439 --> 00:09:53,524
I... I sleep here.

267
00:09:54,097 --> 00:09:55,567
I live in my car.

268
00:09:56,286 --> 00:09:57,819
Oh.

269
00:09:58,835 --> 00:10:00,972
I want to get her
something really special.

270
00:10:01,372 --> 00:10:02,298
They don't know if she'll make it

271
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:03,605
through the surgery, so this could be

272
00:10:03,607 --> 00:10:05,734
our last Mother's Day together, and I...

273
00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:07,207
Got you, Earl!

274
00:10:07,850 --> 00:10:08,816
Damn it!

275
00:10:08,884 --> 00:10:10,884
[bleep] this game!

276
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,120
Uh, just for a little bit,

277
00:10:13,121 --> 00:10:15,316
you know, until I get back on my feet.

278
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:18,136
Please don't tell anyone.

279
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,483
I... I'd offer to give you money, but...

280
00:10:22,714 --> 00:10:23,678
It's okay.

281
00:10:25,844 --> 00:10:26,977
Well, I'm just gonna...

282
00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:28,111
Hey, wait, wait! No, wait.

283
00:10:28,136 --> 00:10:29,937
Uh, why don't you just stay
and hang out?

284
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:31,227
Do you like sushi?

285
00:10:31,907 --> 00:10:34,140
'Cause I make a mean shrimp ramen.

286
00:10:34,574 --> 00:10:36,042
That's not sushi.

287
00:10:37,816 --> 00:10:39,130
Um, you know, I'm actually trying to...

288
00:10:39,131 --> 00:10:40,183
Please stay.

289
00:10:43,221 --> 00:10:45,062
Hey boss, quick question.

290
00:10:45,087 --> 00:10:46,987
Do we have any wiggle room on hours?

291
00:10:47,661 --> 00:10:50,357
Uh, well, I don't know.
You made the schedule!

292
00:10:50,425 --> 00:10:51,451
Ha-ha. Yeah.

293
00:10:51,994 --> 00:10:54,260
I was just hoping to give
a few extra to Janet.

294
00:10:54,329 --> 00:10:55,996
Just met her son... cute kid...

295
00:10:56,064 --> 00:10:58,662
and I, uh, feel kind of bad.

296
00:10:59,413 --> 00:11:01,401
Yeah, I mean, I wish we could,

297
00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:04,137
but they were really strict
about cutbacks,

298
00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:05,905
and if we give her more,
we're gonna have

299
00:11:05,974 --> 00:11:07,306
to take them from someone else

300
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,541
and then that's just gonna
start a whole thing, so...

301
00:11:09,610 --> 00:11:11,576
Mm-hmm, yeah. No, absolutely.

302
00:11:11,645 --> 00:11:13,178
I get it. Don't even worry about it.

303
00:11:13,247 --> 00:11:16,181
I was, uh, just wanting to ask.

304
00:11:16,783 --> 00:11:19,284
- You okay?
- You know what's funny?

305
00:11:19,353 --> 00:11:22,087
I've, uh, never had a problem
hearing people's sob stories.

306
00:11:22,156 --> 00:11:23,822
It's, like, that's just words,

307
00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,770
but when you... when you see them,

308
00:11:26,492 --> 00:11:28,417
the people actually hurting,

309
00:11:29,335 --> 00:11:30,829
it's, uh... it's kind of a bummer.

310
00:11:31,181 --> 00:11:33,098
Yeah, um...

311
00:11:33,608 --> 00:11:36,001
Look, Dina, if this
is all just too much,

312
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,169
we could just stop telling people

313
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,537
that you made the schedule.

314
00:11:38,605 --> 00:11:39,409
Yeah?

315
00:11:39,410 --> 00:11:41,706
'Cause if it's all the same
to you, maybe we should.

316
00:11:41,775 --> 00:11:44,576
Y... yeah. Although, you know, I mean,

317
00:11:44,645 --> 00:11:46,206
I would hate for people to think

318
00:11:46,207 --> 00:11:47,612
that I demoted you.

319
00:11:47,681 --> 00:11:48,880
- They wouldn't.
- They might.

320
00:11:48,949 --> 00:11:50,015
Oh, it wouldn't bother me if they did.

321
00:11:50,083 --> 00:11:51,016
Yeah, but you also thought

322
00:11:51,084 --> 00:11:52,684
this wouldn't bother you,

323
00:11:53,406 --> 00:11:54,986
and now we're here, so...

324
00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:56,773
Yeah.

325
00:11:57,791 --> 00:12:00,979
You're probably right.
Well, back out there.

326
00:12:03,053 --> 00:12:04,429
I mean, I guess I could...

327
00:12:04,497 --> 00:12:05,477
- Huh?
- Huh?

328
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:08,499
I didn't say anything. Um, pipes.

329
00:12:08,569 --> 00:12:09,261
Oh.

330
00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:12,003
- Bye.
- What?

331
00:12:12,072 --> 00:12:14,138
Just bye. I was just saying bye.

332
00:12:14,965 --> 00:12:15,898
Oh. Bye.

333
00:12:18,688 --> 00:12:20,655
First the baby wipes were in Baby,

334
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:21,812
then they moved them to Pharmacy,

335
00:12:21,881 --> 00:12:23,620
and now they're back in Baby again.

336
00:12:23,983 --> 00:12:26,149
Uh, isn't the Baby section that way?

337
00:12:26,218 --> 00:12:28,052
Yeah, but we're taking the long way.

338
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,720
There's a bunch of white people
over there

339
00:12:29,789 --> 00:12:30,957
and I don't want to get shot.

340
00:12:31,778 --> 00:12:32,789
Oh. Okay.

341
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,904
It's awful. I've been telling everyone

342
00:12:36,929 --> 00:12:38,195
that Dina's the one
who made the schedule,

343
00:12:38,263 --> 00:12:40,698
and she says that she's fine with it,

344
00:12:40,766 --> 00:12:42,165
but I feel weird.
What are you looking at?

345
00:12:42,234 --> 00:12:43,500
Nothing. I'm listening. Keep going.

346
00:12:43,569 --> 00:12:45,202
It just feels like I'm asking her

347
00:12:45,270 --> 00:12:47,071
to take the blame for something I did,

348
00:12:47,139 --> 00:12:48,672
although, you know, it's not my fault

349
00:12:48,741 --> 00:12:50,482
corporate decided to cut the payroll.

350
00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:52,675
- Hmm, hmm! Hmm!
- Jonah, what are you doing?

351
00:12:52,744 --> 00:12:54,677
Just hugging you. Hugging you tightly.

352
00:12:54,702 --> 00:12:56,266
Okay, well, thank you.

353
00:12:56,291 --> 00:12:57,457
Thanks. I feel better now.

354
00:12:57,482 --> 00:12:59,415
- You can stop.
- Hmm, oh, you know what?

355
00:12:59,484 --> 00:13:01,459
Have you seen
the new SodaStream display?

356
00:13:01,484 --> 00:13:03,552
Jonah, what are you doing? I can walk!

357
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:04,949
Jonah, put me down!

358
00:13:04,974 --> 00:13:07,356
It's just not a good time for me.

359
00:13:07,425 --> 00:13:09,826
My husband just got
laid off from his job,

360
00:13:09,894 --> 00:13:12,528
and the bank wants to
foreclose on our house.

361
00:13:12,597 --> 00:13:13,630
Yeah, yup, yup.

362
00:13:13,698 --> 00:13:14,764
And I just found out I'm pregnant

363
00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:16,285
and I know it's going
to be triplets again.

364
00:13:16,310 --> 00:13:17,543
Don't care. Can't help you.

365
00:13:17,568 --> 00:13:18,635
I make the schedule.

366
00:13:18,703 --> 00:13:20,269
Do you want to see a picture of my dog?

367
00:13:20,338 --> 00:13:21,090
Mm-mm!

368
00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:22,538
He's very sick

369
00:13:22,607 --> 00:13:23,740
and he has alopecia.

370
00:13:23,808 --> 00:13:26,174
No, shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

371
00:13:27,826 --> 00:13:29,387
Oh! Oh, he's so ugly.

372
00:13:29,693 --> 00:13:31,493
Oh, you should put him
out of his misery.

373
00:13:31,656 --> 00:13:33,355
- No!
- That's no way to live.

374
00:13:35,385 --> 00:13:36,618
Mmm. Mmm.

375
00:13:36,731 --> 00:13:38,263
Sorry it's so crunchy.

376
00:13:38,288 --> 00:13:39,888
I can't get water to boil down here,

377
00:13:39,957 --> 00:13:41,857
so it just comes out a little Al dente.

378
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:43,078
That's fine.

379
00:13:44,094 --> 00:13:46,239
God, out of all the people
that work here,

380
00:13:46,264 --> 00:13:47,897
I can't believe I'm the homeless one.

381
00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:49,268
It's so embarrassing.

382
00:13:49,799 --> 00:13:51,099
Everybody's got something.

383
00:13:51,168 --> 00:13:54,486
Myrtle's super old,
Isaac's got anger issues,

384
00:13:54,511 --> 00:13:56,111
Jonah wears a wig, probably.

385
00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:57,700
Well, I'll tell you one thing, buddy.

386
00:13:57,725 --> 00:14:00,592
It ain't easy.
You would crack in a day.

387
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:03,054
Well, that seems
needlessly antagonistic.

388
00:14:03,055 --> 00:14:04,629
It's true. You couldn't handle it.

389
00:14:04,698 --> 00:14:07,199
Always worrying
if you're gonna get caught,

390
00:14:07,267 --> 00:14:09,468
wondering what people
would think if they knew.

391
00:14:09,536 --> 00:14:11,103
Oh, I think I could handle it.

392
00:14:11,171 --> 00:14:13,405
Come on. Your cushy little life?

393
00:14:13,474 --> 00:14:15,648
You don't know my life,
and it's not that cushy.

394
00:14:15,649 --> 00:14:17,376
Dude, I'm homeless!

395
00:14:17,444 --> 00:14:19,209
Dude, I'm undocumented.

396
00:14:21,659 --> 00:14:22,824
Seriously?

397
00:14:22,849 --> 00:14:25,388
Yeah, so suck it.

398
00:14:25,585 --> 00:14:26,274
Oh.

399
00:14:27,254 --> 00:14:29,050
Hey, thanks for telling me.

400
00:14:30,590 --> 00:14:32,273
We have each other's secrets now.

401
00:14:32,659 --> 00:14:33,743
Let's make a pact.

402
00:14:34,127 --> 00:14:35,470
I won't say anything about your thing

403
00:14:35,471 --> 00:14:37,729
unless my thing comes out,
and vice versa.

404
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,165
Um, you can't say anything
about my thing.

405
00:14:41,234 --> 00:14:43,467
And I totally won't,
unless my thing gets out.

406
00:14:43,537 --> 00:14:45,540
Ride together, die together.

407
00:14:47,104 --> 00:14:48,213
Oh, God.

408
00:14:49,630 --> 00:14:51,809
Jonah Simms, please come
to Health and Beauty.

409
00:14:51,834 --> 00:14:54,412
Jonah Simms, you're needed
in Health and Beauty.

410
00:15:01,329 --> 00:15:04,486
This is Jonah Simms.
What exactly am I needed for?

411
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:09,109
Uh, customer has a question
about Wet N Wild dry shampoo.

412
00:15:09,110 --> 00:15:12,574
I'm sure someone over there
can help the customer.

413
00:15:12,575 --> 00:15:14,809
You know what?
He asked for you specifically.

414
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,041
They said you had great hair.

415
00:15:17,047 --> 00:15:18,648
Please tell the customer thank you,

416
00:15:18,649 --> 00:15:19,747
but it's genetic.

417
00:15:19,807 --> 00:15:22,068
I think, uh, they would prefer

418
00:15:22,069 --> 00:15:24,016
to hear that from you in person,

419
00:15:24,084 --> 00:15:26,296
and also, he wants to talk about

420
00:15:26,297 --> 00:15:28,622
the "This American Life" podcast.

421
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,939
Uh, and I'd love to do just that,

422
00:15:30,940 --> 00:15:33,557
so perhaps you could bring
the customer over here.

423
00:15:35,263 --> 00:15:37,712
Glenn Sturgis, please come
to Health and Beauty.

424
00:15:37,713 --> 00:15:39,634
Glenn Sturgis, please come
to Health and Beauty.

425
00:15:39,654 --> 00:15:40,553
I'm on my way!

426
00:15:40,554 --> 00:15:41,397
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

427
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:42,754
Glenn, Glenn, no, no, no, no.

428
00:15:42,755 --> 00:15:45,156
It's just that if I lose my hours,

429
00:15:45,157 --> 00:15:48,482
I can't afford my arthritis medication,

430
00:15:48,483 --> 00:15:50,916
and without my arthritis medication,

431
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:55,094
I can't open the bottle
for my heart medication,

432
00:15:55,095 --> 00:15:58,349
and then it just spirals after that

433
00:15:58,418 --> 00:16:00,218
and then I die.

434
00:16:00,219 --> 00:16:02,511
You know what? I'm... I'm gonna see
what I can do, all right?

435
00:16:02,513 --> 00:16:04,282
You're giving her more hours?

436
00:16:04,283 --> 00:16:06,536
My son is crying in the café right now

437
00:16:06,561 --> 00:16:08,110
because he can't go to Nerd Camp.

438
00:16:08,111 --> 00:16:10,201
Fine, I'll give you both
more hours, okay?

439
00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:12,089
Uh, Dina? Uh, you're just

440
00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:13,621
giving people their hours back?

441
00:16:13,622 --> 00:16:15,662
You are? Can I get mine back too?

442
00:16:15,663 --> 00:16:16,958
- Sure, what the hell?
- No, I don't think she...

443
00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:18,428
Thank you! Thank you.

444
00:16:19,906 --> 00:16:22,215
Oh, you're just giving them
out left and right, huh?

445
00:16:22,216 --> 00:16:23,552
You're like Oprah,

446
00:16:23,553 --> 00:16:25,812
if she didn't stop
to think things through.

447
00:16:26,045 --> 00:16:27,476
- I'll take some hours.
- Done.

448
00:16:27,477 --> 00:16:29,446
- Hey Dina...
- Now go put down your dog.

449
00:16:29,514 --> 00:16:32,586
Um, Dina, I just wanna make
sure you're not promising hours

450
00:16:32,587 --> 00:16:33,820
that don't exist.

451
00:16:33,821 --> 00:16:35,742
Well, we're in it now, aren't we?

452
00:16:35,743 --> 00:16:37,311
All right, who else wants
some hours, huh?

453
00:16:37,336 --> 00:16:38,858
Come and get 'em while they're hot!

454
00:16:41,037 --> 00:16:43,979
Dina, we don't have
the hours to give people!

455
00:16:43,980 --> 00:16:46,591
You can't just go around
giving them out

456
00:16:46,592 --> 00:16:48,578
like you're Ebenezer Scrooge!

457
00:16:48,603 --> 00:16:50,816
- What?
- In the end, once he's nice.

458
00:16:50,817 --> 00:16:53,316
Look, if you want to go
out there and look those people

459
00:16:53,341 --> 00:16:55,384
in their sad little faces
and take back the hours,

460
00:16:55,453 --> 00:16:56,385
be my guest.

461
00:16:56,454 --> 00:16:57,720
Me? No!

462
00:16:57,789 --> 00:17:00,323
You're the one who decided
to play Hour Fairy!

463
00:17:00,391 --> 00:17:02,658
Dina, this is very hard to do
while you're on the floor.

464
00:17:02,683 --> 00:17:03,893
Can you please just get up
for just a second?

465
00:17:03,962 --> 00:17:05,661
Nope. I'm down for the count.

466
00:17:05,730 --> 00:17:07,527
You can grab some floor if you want.

467
00:17:17,642 --> 00:17:19,760
- It's nice, right?
- I guess.

468
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:23,704
What are you...

469
00:17:23,705 --> 00:17:26,149
Could you just...
just give me a little pull?

470
00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:29,161
Okay!

471
00:17:29,987 --> 00:17:32,955
Excuse me, I need
to return a plastic tarp.

472
00:17:33,023 --> 00:17:34,957
When I opened it up,
it had blood on it.

473
00:17:35,651 --> 00:17:36,890
Do you have a receipt?

474
00:17:38,977 --> 00:17:40,276
- Ow!
- Oh, oh!

475
00:17:40,277 --> 00:17:41,444
Are you okay?

476
00:17:41,445 --> 00:17:44,700
Something bit me!
Something [bleep] bit me!

477
00:17:44,769 --> 00:17:45,970
What, I... what? What is...

478
00:17:45,971 --> 00:17:47,221
Ow! Get it off of me!

479
00:17:47,246 --> 00:17:48,510
I don't see it. I don't see it.

480
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,611
Get it off! You have
to get the suckers out!

481
00:17:50,644 --> 00:17:52,275
I don't see any suckers!

482
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:54,210
That's 'cause you're the suckers.

483
00:17:54,254 --> 00:17:56,111
Beep, beep.

484
00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:57,096
You dead, fools.

485
00:17:57,097 --> 00:18:00,415
- Oh, how do you like me now?
- Team Yogurt wins.

486
00:18:00,484 --> 00:18:01,783
You... no. No, no, no, no.

487
00:18:01,852 --> 00:18:03,685
Come on, guys! That is not fair!

488
00:18:03,754 --> 00:18:05,354
That's what losers always say.

489
00:18:05,379 --> 00:18:06,877
No, no, no. Glenn, Glenn.

490
00:18:06,902 --> 00:18:08,845
They got us fair and square, okay?

491
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:12,171
Or... or did you get yourselves?

492
00:18:12,296 --> 00:18:13,295
- What?
- What?

493
00:18:13,310 --> 00:18:14,812
Well, it's just that
if you look at your scanner,

494
00:18:14,813 --> 00:18:16,768
you'll see that I replaced my price tag

495
00:18:16,769 --> 00:18:18,815
with blueberry yogurt, which is you,

496
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,803
so it looks like you're the suckers.

497
00:18:21,872 --> 00:18:24,172
- Ah, it's a switcheroo!
- No, no, no, no.

498
00:18:24,241 --> 00:18:26,074
No switcheroo. That's just cheating.

499
00:18:26,143 --> 00:18:27,575
We never said we couldn't switch tags.

500
00:18:27,644 --> 00:18:28,777
Yeah, whatever, dude. We won.

501
00:18:28,845 --> 00:18:30,291
- Team Yogurt for life.
- Mm-hmm.

502
00:18:30,292 --> 00:18:31,780
- No.
- Mm-hmm.

503
00:18:31,848 --> 00:18:33,748
- Yogurt, yogurt, yogurt...
- Is it?

504
00:18:33,817 --> 00:18:35,950
No, no. Not yogurt, no. Soup.

505
00:18:36,019 --> 00:18:39,454
- Yogurt, yogurt, yogurt.
- Soup! Soup!

506
00:18:39,523 --> 00:18:40,829
Yogurt.

507
00:18:43,326 --> 00:18:44,239
Yum.

508
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:47,979
- Jerry?
- Hey, Sandy Bear.

509
00:18:48,799 --> 00:18:50,398
What... what are you doing here?

510
00:18:50,467 --> 00:18:53,021
I'm picking up Carol.
She's making me get a haircut.

511
00:18:53,046 --> 00:18:54,513
She says I look like a hippie.

512
00:18:54,538 --> 00:18:55,470
Oh.

513
00:18:55,539 --> 00:18:57,405
Well, don't take too much off.

514
00:18:57,474 --> 00:18:59,240
- I like your hair.
- Really?

515
00:18:59,309 --> 00:18:59,990
Yeah.

516
00:18:59,991 --> 00:19:02,477
I always thought that you'd
look great with a Mohawk.

517
00:19:03,285 --> 00:19:04,155
See?

518
00:19:04,180 --> 00:19:06,460
You're the only one who gets me.

519
00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:08,044
You know what's weird to think about?

520
00:19:08,388 --> 00:19:10,517
That the default Newton was fig.

521
00:19:11,095 --> 00:19:12,719
I mean, why would you start there?

522
00:19:13,289 --> 00:19:14,914
Yeah, I guess that is random.

523
00:19:14,915 --> 00:19:15,756
You'd think they start

524
00:19:15,757 --> 00:19:17,891
with something more basic,
like strawberry.

525
00:19:17,892 --> 00:19:19,711
Exactly, and then after many years,

526
00:19:19,712 --> 00:19:21,408
and trying many different fruits,

527
00:19:21,409 --> 00:19:23,451
maybe you take a chance on fig.

528
00:19:23,904 --> 00:19:27,491
But, it's not a cookie,
it's a straw-Newton?

529
00:19:27,503 --> 00:19:29,470
That doesn't have the same ring.

530
00:19:29,495 --> 00:19:30,433
I guess.

531
00:19:32,465 --> 00:19:34,433
Well, I guess at some point,
we should discuss

532
00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:35,518
the new schedule and figure out

533
00:19:35,519 --> 00:19:36,944
where those hours are going
to come from.

534
00:19:37,929 --> 00:19:38,892
Yeah.

535
00:19:39,333 --> 00:19:41,261
Hey, what are you watching these days?

536
00:19:41,262 --> 00:19:43,406
Mostly knife trick tutorials
on YouTube.

537
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,379
I can do a double rollout
with a five-inch butterfly.

538
00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:47,795
Grownups watch YouTube?

539
00:19:48,457 --> 00:19:50,346
That's all I watch.
What else do I need?

540
00:19:50,347 --> 00:19:52,932
It has everything you ever want
to see in one place.

541
00:19:56,211 --> 00:19:58,266
Hey, I thought everyone left.

542
00:19:58,267 --> 00:20:02,436
They did but, you know,
you drove me, so...

543
00:20:02,481 --> 00:20:05,229
Ah, yes. I forgot. Sorry.

544
00:20:05,254 --> 00:20:07,370
Oh, it's been a rough day.

545
00:20:07,371 --> 00:20:08,239
It has.

546
00:20:08,936 --> 00:20:12,761
Hey, why am I on the schedule
only three hours next week?

547
00:20:12,762 --> 00:20:15,328
Um, so we had to do
some reallocating of hours,

548
00:20:15,329 --> 00:20:16,868
so I just took them off from you.

549
00:20:16,869 --> 00:20:18,074
I hope that's all right.

550
00:20:18,081 --> 00:20:19,564
This is not what I intended

551
00:20:19,565 --> 00:20:21,587
when I started sleeping with the boss.

552
00:20:21,656 --> 00:20:23,463
Big miscalculation on your part.

553
00:20:23,464 --> 00:20:25,591
You know, if I get evicted,

554
00:20:25,616 --> 00:20:27,175
I'm gonna come stay with you.

555
00:20:27,777 --> 00:20:29,578
All right, I could empty some drawers.

556
00:20:32,934 --> 00:20:37,237
I mean, you are over
all the time anyways,

557
00:20:37,262 --> 00:20:41,679
so you could just,
like, stay over or whatever.

558
00:20:41,978 --> 00:20:44,344
I'm sorry, are you asking me
to move in with you?

559
00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:46,581
I'm... I'm saying that
you can move in with me

560
00:20:46,606 --> 00:20:48,415
if you feel like that's what you need.

561
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,950
Oh, you're... you're allowing
me to move in with you.

562
00:20:51,525 --> 00:20:53,190
You're... you're allowed, yes.

563
00:20:56,057 --> 00:20:57,012
Okay, sure.

564
00:20:58,161 --> 00:20:58,955
Why not?

565
00:20:59,769 --> 00:21:03,194
- Okay. Cool.
- Cool.

566
00:21:03,787 --> 00:21:06,422
Hey, the white people
are going out for wings.

567
00:21:06,423 --> 00:21:07,692
You coming?

568
00:21:07,843 --> 00:21:10,254
Oh, no thanks. Have fun, though.

569
00:21:12,551 --> 00:21:14,101
No idea what that was about.

570
00:21:14,126 --> 00:21:16,156
credits