1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,906
Uh, Sid, can you pass the salt?

2
00:00:07,244 --> 00:00:09,638
Sure, Charlie. I assume you're
asking that because I have

3
00:00:09,663 --> 00:00:12,366
all the time in the world,
since my boyfriend dumped me.

4
00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:14,202
Well, while we're passing things,

5
00:00:14,373 --> 00:00:16,132
I might want to pass on some advice:

6
00:00:16,235 --> 00:00:18,312
wash your hat once!

7
00:00:20,695 --> 00:00:24,445
All right, I know things have been
tough since you broke up with John,

8
00:00:24,470 --> 00:00:27,569
but if you don't stop talking like
that, I'm gonna kick your little ass.

9
00:00:28,415 --> 00:00:30,671
Why does everyone hate me?

10
00:00:31,014 --> 00:00:32,999
I'm so unlovable.

11
00:00:34,682 --> 00:00:36,905
Yikes. I don't need salt, okay?

12
00:00:38,084 --> 00:00:39,428
Unbelievable.

13
00:00:39,961 --> 00:00:42,600
I just got a invitation
to my son Tony's wedding.

14
00:00:42,788 --> 00:00:43,951
Check this out.

15
00:00:44,475 --> 00:00:46,671
"Hosted by Lorraine and Reggie."

16
00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:49,085
My ex-wife and her husband
are running the show.

17
00:00:49,189 --> 00:00:50,297
No mention of me at all.

18
00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:51,668
- I have been replaced.
- Whoa.

19
00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:54,229
I don't think Tony is
trying to replace you.

20
00:00:54,292 --> 00:00:56,175
I mean, you guys
are really close, right?

21
00:00:56,204 --> 00:00:57,956
Well, yeah. I mean, that's my son.

22
00:00:58,157 --> 00:00:59,394
Fruit of my loins.

23
00:00:59,687 --> 00:01:02,179
We don't chitty-chat all that much,
'cause we're grown-ass men.

24
00:01:02,204 --> 00:01:03,295
But I told him, I said,

25
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:07,296
"You let me know when and where
this wedding is and I will be there."

26
00:01:07,672 --> 00:01:10,405
Well, it sounds like he's doing
exactly what you told him to.

27
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:14,944
It sounds like you're not listening.

28
00:01:14,968 --> 00:01:18,328
I'm being sidelined at
my own son's wedding.

29
00:01:18,968 --> 00:01:21,234
Well, it's time for old
Hank to assert himself.

30
00:01:21,259 --> 00:01:23,570
And I'm gonna start by
inviting y'all three.

31
00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:25,757
Oh, no. Count me out, Hank.

32
00:01:25,803 --> 00:01:28,515
I really don't need
any tense family drama.

33
00:01:29,062 --> 00:01:31,351
It's at some fancy Vegas hotel.

34
00:01:32,078 --> 00:01:34,085
Well, what is life
without a little drama?

35
00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:35,398
I'm in. I love Vegas.

36
00:01:35,476 --> 00:01:38,499
Yeah. Me, too. I got that town wired.

37
00:01:39,004 --> 00:01:41,578
I got connections at
the Sands, the Sahara.

38
00:01:41,798 --> 00:01:44,169
It sounds like you had that town wired.

39
00:01:44,350 --> 00:01:45,950
Those places have been torn down.

40
00:01:46,015 --> 00:01:48,536
No. Trust me, when they
hear that I'm coming back,

41
00:01:48,725 --> 00:01:50,118
I'm gonna rule that place.

42
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:51,661
You know, back in the '70s,

43
00:01:51,768 --> 00:01:53,825
they used to call me
Charlie Sell Phones.

44
00:01:53,949 --> 00:01:56,128
Stop lying, stank hat.

45
00:01:56,339 --> 00:01:59,315
They didn't even have
cell phones in the '70S.

46
00:01:59,377 --> 00:02:00,377
Uh-uh.

47
00:02:00,402 --> 00:02:01,908
"Sell" with an "S."

48
00:02:02,194 --> 00:02:05,158
I used to sell rotary
phones to key figures

49
00:02:05,183 --> 00:02:06,572
in the Vegas underworld.

50
00:02:06,750 --> 00:02:07,853
They were untappable.

51
00:02:09,221 --> 00:02:10,994
Well, y'all have fun.

52
00:02:11,525 --> 00:02:13,822
Vegas is no place for the brokenhearted.

53
00:02:14,229 --> 00:02:16,768
I should go someplace like Pittsburgh.

54
00:02:18,076 --> 00:02:20,252
Oh, come on. This is gonna be great.

55
00:02:20,353 --> 00:02:22,900
Vegas is the perfect place
for you to get over John.

56
00:02:22,989 --> 00:02:24,947
After my divorce, I went to Vegas.

57
00:02:24,972 --> 00:02:27,025
I got over ten years
of pain in one weekend.

58
00:02:27,102 --> 00:02:30,445
And so Vegas Margaret was born.

59
00:02:30,931 --> 00:02:33,963
One day, I tipped the
pool boy with my room key.

60
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:36,353
Oh, all right. All right,
all right, all right, I'll go.

61
00:02:36,378 --> 00:02:39,651
Anything to keep me from
hearing the end of your sex story.

62
00:02:39,676 --> 00:02:41,338
Oh, you're gonna hear it all right.

63
00:02:41,363 --> 00:02:44,198
So, the air is thick with
the smell of chlorine,

64
00:02:44,478 --> 00:02:46,587
- and I am really horny...
- Aah!

65
00:03:07,786 --> 00:03:12,152
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

66
00:03:14,424 --> 00:03:15,870
What the hell happened to Vegas?

67
00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:17,636
It used to be the devil's playground.

68
00:03:17,661 --> 00:03:20,612
Now it looks like a unicorn
threw up all over the place.

69
00:03:21,194 --> 00:03:22,936
And most of it landed on your outfit.

70
00:03:23,410 --> 00:03:25,495
Hey, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

71
00:03:25,561 --> 00:03:27,799
This is Vegas Margaret understated.

72
00:03:27,824 --> 00:03:30,924
I got an outfit in my
bag that needs batteries.

73
00:03:31,932 --> 00:03:34,284
Okay, Sid, come on. Let's
go get you over John.

74
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,207
I'll tell you what would
help me get over John is

75
00:03:36,231 --> 00:03:38,090
you not saying his
name every five minutes.

76
00:03:39,335 --> 00:03:41,335
- All right, I'm gonna go check us in.
- All right.

77
00:03:41,546 --> 00:03:43,920
- Hey, Pop!
- Tony!

78
00:03:45,341 --> 00:03:48,012
Look at you. My son, getting married.

79
00:03:49,676 --> 00:03:51,496
- There's the man of the hour.
- Hey, Reggie.

80
00:03:51,687 --> 00:03:53,461
Thanks so much for those
MMA tickets last night.

81
00:03:53,485 --> 00:03:55,092
We were so close, we got blood on us.

82
00:03:56,931 --> 00:03:59,147
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Re-Re-Reggie, Reggie, Reggie.

83
00:03:59,265 --> 00:04:01,421
Excuse me, me and, uh,
Tony weren't finished

84
00:04:01,446 --> 00:04:02,606
with our little greeting yet.

85
00:04:02,892 --> 00:04:05,327
Ha-ah! Here I go.

86
00:04:10,436 --> 00:04:12,577
We do... we do this all the time.

87
00:04:12,988 --> 00:04:14,032
I love you so much, son.

88
00:04:15,971 --> 00:04:18,147
I knew you were gonna make
a fool of yourself at this wedding,

89
00:04:18,171 --> 00:04:20,592
I just didn't know it was gonna
be in the first minute, Hank.

90
00:04:22,775 --> 00:04:25,264
So you do know my name.
'Cause I couldn't find it

91
00:04:25,396 --> 00:04:27,335
- on that invitation.
- That's enough, you two.

92
00:04:27,913 --> 00:04:29,203
I don't need you guys
fighting all weekend.

93
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,547
Let's just focus on the positive.

94
00:04:30,889 --> 00:04:34,022
We're all here together... you, me, Dad,

95
00:04:34,439 --> 00:04:36,373
Reggie, that guy.

96
00:04:37,404 --> 00:04:39,724
those two other white people
you brought who I barely know.

97
00:04:40,963 --> 00:04:42,936
All right, my room is comped.

98
00:04:43,461 --> 00:04:44,968
They must have heard I was back in town.

99
00:04:44,992 --> 00:04:47,271
This has got Ronnie Room
Comps written all over it.

100
00:04:47,645 --> 00:04:49,952
Actually, it was Reggie. He
picked up everybody's rooms.

101
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,317
He's the best, isn't he?

102
00:04:51,609 --> 00:04:53,576
Uh, Reggie, me and my
friends... we not impressed

103
00:04:53,601 --> 00:04:55,084
with your little room comp.

104
00:04:55,826 --> 00:04:58,232
Reggie, you honor me with this comp.

105
00:05:00,309 --> 00:05:02,498
If you ever need a
rotary phone installed,

106
00:05:02,763 --> 00:05:04,014
I'm your guy.

107
00:05:06,153 --> 00:05:07,318
Good to know. Thank you.

108
00:05:08,872 --> 00:05:11,740
Oh, yes. Reggie's paying for everything.

109
00:05:12,009 --> 00:05:15,029
And I mean everything.

110
00:05:16,445 --> 00:05:19,248
Bachelor party. Bachelorette
party. Rooms. Wi-Fi.

111
00:05:19,276 --> 00:05:21,799
And that's premium Wi-Fi, no buffering.

112
00:05:22,392 --> 00:05:24,674
Well, it's not every day
your son gets married.

113
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,190
Uh, stepson. Don't
forget the, uh, "step."

114
00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:29,222
- You see what he's doing?
- Yeah.

115
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:31,659
He trying to make me look
bad in front of my own son.

116
00:05:31,796 --> 00:05:34,269
All right, guys, we're out.
I hope we see both of you

117
00:05:34,294 --> 00:05:36,214
at the bachelor party
dinner tonight. It's on me.

118
00:05:36,307 --> 00:05:39,557
The hell it is. I'm buying
dinner for the family.

119
00:05:39,627 --> 00:05:41,361
- Wow, thanks, Dad.
- Hank's paying?

120
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,166
Where y'all eating,
at a vending machine?

121
00:05:48,761 --> 00:05:50,588
So, check it out, Sid.

122
00:05:50,865 --> 00:05:53,806
This is my Vegas Margaret outfit.

123
00:05:54,638 --> 00:05:56,596
Well, honey, it's like the sun...

124
00:05:56,621 --> 00:05:58,134
it's bright, shiny

125
00:05:58,769 --> 00:05:59,947
and hard to look at.

126
00:06:00,867 --> 00:06:03,580
Enough. Time to change that attitude

127
00:06:03,605 --> 00:06:05,080
- and get you over...
- No, no!

128
00:06:05,105 --> 00:06:06,213
Don't you say it.

129
00:06:07,031 --> 00:06:09,251
You know who. All right.

130
00:06:09,459 --> 00:06:12,599
We're gonna go big, Sid.
We've each got $500 in chips.

131
00:06:12,624 --> 00:06:14,800
So if you follow my
lead, we can triple this.

132
00:06:15,031 --> 00:06:18,648
Waitress. Could we get a couple
of Moscow Mules for us high rollers?

133
00:06:18,935 --> 00:06:20,148
No more bets.

134
00:06:21,230 --> 00:06:22,788
Wait. Sid, what did you do?

135
00:06:23,704 --> 00:06:25,491
I went big, like you told me to.

136
00:06:25,873 --> 00:06:28,311
I put all your chips on
red, all my chips on black,

137
00:06:28,377 --> 00:06:29,765
so we cannot lose.

138
00:06:29,826 --> 00:06:31,671
Green! The rare double zero.

139
00:06:31,696 --> 00:06:34,843
What?! Wait, Sid. What the hell?

140
00:06:34,868 --> 00:06:36,999
That's all our money
for the whole weekend.

141
00:06:37,024 --> 00:06:38,773
Well, why didn't you
tell me about green?

142
00:06:38,878 --> 00:06:40,702
Nobody bets on green.

143
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,663
Well, if he had, he
would've won $36,000.

144
00:06:45,227 --> 00:06:46,488
Butt out, dealer.

145
00:06:46,519 --> 00:06:47,543
The name's John.

146
00:06:47,599 --> 00:06:48,599
Damn it!

147
00:06:49,856 --> 00:06:51,554
Ooh, are you guys tapped out?

148
00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:53,577
Free drinks are for gamblers only.

149
00:06:53,916 --> 00:06:55,390
Whiskey soda for John?

150
00:06:55,509 --> 00:06:56,866
Oh, come on!

151
00:06:57,534 --> 00:07:00,163
Margaret, you told me this
trip was gonna cheer me up.

152
00:07:00,458 --> 00:07:02,895
I'm broke, I'm sober,
and we're hanging out

153
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,836
in what apparently is
an all-John casino.

154
00:07:06,252 --> 00:07:09,950
How can I go big in Vegas
when I don't have any money?

155
00:07:10,622 --> 00:07:11,658
I've got a plan.

156
00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:13,659
What are you gonna do,
skin another peacock

157
00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,048
and throw it on your back?

158
00:07:20,739 --> 00:07:22,353
What the hell have I gotten into?

159
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,603
Look at the prices on this menu, man.

160
00:07:24,915 --> 00:07:26,259
And I ain't seeing no combos.

161
00:07:26,284 --> 00:07:28,954
Oh, relax, Hank. You're
with Charlie Sell Phones.

162
00:07:29,135 --> 00:07:32,225
Yeah. We're here for the
Henderson bachelor party,

163
00:07:32,268 --> 00:07:33,835
and we expect to be taken care of.

164
00:07:34,283 --> 00:07:36,142
We know Robbie Restaurants.

165
00:07:36,962 --> 00:07:39,103
You know Robbie Restaurants?

166
00:07:39,611 --> 00:07:41,259
We know Robbie Restaurants.

167
00:07:42,134 --> 00:07:44,193
Are you saying in broken English

168
00:07:44,237 --> 00:07:46,111
that you're not gonna
rob the restaurant?

169
00:07:47,540 --> 00:07:49,895
It's a person. Robbie Restaurants.

170
00:07:50,642 --> 00:07:52,762
I don't know what's happening,
but your table's ready.

171
00:07:54,447 --> 00:07:55,492
Okay, forget about it.

172
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,703
We'll get tap waters,
share a side salad.

173
00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:59,528
- Good thing it's just the four of us.
- Yeah.

174
00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:02,329
Hey, guys, over here. Dad,
these are my groomsmen.

175
00:08:02,354 --> 00:08:03,814
Oh, hey.

176
00:08:07,048 --> 00:08:08,376
Oh... Oh.

177
00:08:09,650 --> 00:08:11,936
- Hey, now. It's good to see...
- Their flight got delayed.

178
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,360
They haven't eaten since breakfast.

179
00:08:13,982 --> 00:08:16,673
Well, how the hell did the
plane even lift off the ground?

180
00:08:29,173 --> 00:08:31,681
Did Vernon just order
another seafood tower?

181
00:08:33,658 --> 00:08:35,375
What happened to your
s-smaller friends?

182
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:37,205
Les, Slim, String Bean and them?

183
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:38,682
Vernon is String Bean.

184
00:08:39,072 --> 00:08:40,509
What the hell happened to him?

185
00:08:41,517 --> 00:08:44,357
He's actually lost a lot of weight
since that last trip we took to Cabo.

186
00:08:45,087 --> 00:08:46,712
Vernon, looking good.

187
00:08:48,770 --> 00:08:51,227
You been using your
maracas? I know I have.

188
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:55,235
What the hell is this, man?

189
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:57,484
Taking my son on trips,
getting him maracas.

190
00:08:58,039 --> 00:08:59,188
Bastard.

191
00:09:00,368 --> 00:09:03,157
Hey, Hank. Can you pass that
bottle of wine? I need to top off.

192
00:09:03,555 --> 00:09:05,447
Yeah, 'cause you're running
through it, you lush.

193
00:09:05,471 --> 00:09:07,386
This the good stuff.
You've got to savor it.

194
00:09:07,489 --> 00:09:08,632
Like this.

195
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,255
Delectable.

196
00:09:16,039 --> 00:09:17,703
See, that way one glass lasts all night.

197
00:09:19,632 --> 00:09:20,787
Look, I'm spending all this money,

198
00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:23,336
and I'm not making no
brownie points with my son.

199
00:09:23,656 --> 00:09:25,687
I'm gonna set this down.
I'm getting the check.

200
00:09:26,726 --> 00:09:28,011
I'd like to say a few words.

201
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,546
Reggie!

202
00:09:31,398 --> 00:09:33,302
Getting to know this man and his friends

203
00:09:33,346 --> 00:09:35,062
has been a privilege and an honor.

204
00:09:35,351 --> 00:09:37,456
Well, that certainly wasa
few words. Thank you, Reggie.

205
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:38,960
Thanks for opening. Have a seat.

206
00:09:39,601 --> 00:09:41,241
Have a seat, Reggie.

207
00:09:44,054 --> 00:09:45,226
Good evening, everyone.

208
00:09:45,671 --> 00:09:46,671
Hank!

209
00:09:50,014 --> 00:09:54,295
Well, what a fine evening
I have provided for you all.

210
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:57,709
And to my son and his now
unrecognizable friends,

211
00:09:58,170 --> 00:10:00,808
and his, uh, mama's
side piece down there,

212
00:10:01,654 --> 00:10:03,724
I want to say it's getting late,

213
00:10:03,767 --> 00:10:06,834
so forks up, hands down, got to go.

214
00:10:07,811 --> 00:10:08,816
Dad, it's 7:15.

215
00:10:09,115 --> 00:10:13,373
7:15? Well, what is
this check doing here?

216
00:10:13,473 --> 00:10:14,686
I know I didn't ask for it.

217
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:18,350
Ooh, this thing is heavy.
I'm scared to open it up.

218
00:10:18,413 --> 00:10:20,420
Oh, just do it, bud. Like a Band-Aid.

219
00:10:21,225 --> 00:10:24,357
All right, no matter
what the figure is inside,

220
00:10:24,889 --> 00:10:26,399
I will not react.

221
00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:30,021
Son of a bitch!

222
00:10:33,897 --> 00:10:35,436
What a deal!

223
00:10:43,329 --> 00:10:45,483
- Surprise!
- Surprise!

224
00:10:45,508 --> 00:10:47,700
It's your ex-husband's friends.

225
00:10:49,204 --> 00:10:51,249
This is the bachelorette party, right?

226
00:10:51,554 --> 00:10:54,319
Sure. But what the heck
are you two doing here?

227
00:10:54,858 --> 00:10:56,516
We want to celebrate
the upcoming nuptials

228
00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:58,256
of our favorite couple, Tony

229
00:10:58,300 --> 00:10:59,823
and... bride.

230
00:10:59,968 --> 00:11:02,745
Yeah, it's not like
we lost all our money,

231
00:11:02,778 --> 00:11:06,372
can't afford drinks, and are
trying to glom on to your thing.

232
00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:10,309
Anyhoo, what are you drinking?

233
00:11:10,465 --> 00:11:12,309
Martinis? Appletinis?

234
00:11:12,536 --> 00:11:14,653
Any tinis going on in here?

235
00:11:14,981 --> 00:11:16,855
Well, we're just staying in tonight.

236
00:11:16,887 --> 00:11:18,247
The wedding's early tomorrow.

237
00:11:21,708 --> 00:11:23,067
Oh.

238
00:11:24,801 --> 00:11:26,380
Looking good, ladies.

239
00:11:27,059 --> 00:11:29,012
This is supposed to cheer me up?

240
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:31,394
They are whitening their friggin' teeth.

241
00:11:31,419 --> 00:11:32,863
- Uh...
- Let's just go down to the bar

242
00:11:32,887 --> 00:11:35,317
- and play Guess Who's a Prostitute.
- No.

243
00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:38,247
We're gonna have fun tonight.
I'm gonna make this happen.

244
00:11:38,528 --> 00:11:40,411
You want to have fun,
don't you, Lorraine?

245
00:11:40,739 --> 00:11:42,126
Of course I do, but I promised

246
00:11:42,162 --> 00:11:44,706
Reggie and Tony that
I'd-I'd behave myself.

247
00:11:44,731 --> 00:11:46,590
Apparently, when I party in Vegas,

248
00:11:46,833 --> 00:11:48,829
I hurt and embarrass the ones I love.

249
00:11:49,465 --> 00:11:51,167
Hurting and embarrassing
the ones you love

250
00:11:51,192 --> 00:11:53,036
is what Vegas is all about.

251
00:11:53,215 --> 00:11:55,286
Come on, I want to be
Vegas Margaret tonight.

252
00:11:55,708 --> 00:11:58,762
And I bet you there's a Vegas
Lorraine in there somewhere.

253
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,684
Oh, yeah, there is.

254
00:12:00,872 --> 00:12:02,051
She's wild.

255
00:12:02,076 --> 00:12:03,419
She's wild!

256
00:12:04,996 --> 00:12:06,980
I promised... I promised
I'd stay in the room.

257
00:12:07,410 --> 00:12:09,254
Well, then we'll make
the fun come to us.

258
00:12:09,945 --> 00:12:11,251
Come on, you guys.

259
00:12:11,738 --> 00:12:14,229
This is your bride's
last night of freedom.

260
00:12:14,254 --> 00:12:16,941
Don't you want to blow
it out, make it memorable?

261
00:12:17,652 --> 00:12:19,973
Sweetie, I know that you don't know me,

262
00:12:20,035 --> 00:12:22,262
but marriage is boring as hell.

263
00:12:22,699 --> 00:12:25,676
The same guy every single night?

264
00:12:25,965 --> 00:12:29,323
This is your last chance to
grab a beef cake by both cheeks

265
00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:30,652
and let him do his thing.

266
00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:36,276
Well, I don't know what that
was, but I'll take it as a yes.

267
00:12:37,096 --> 00:12:39,838
You twisted my arm. Just give
me a minute to get ready.

268
00:12:40,807 --> 00:12:42,439
Sha-bam!

269
00:12:44,205 --> 00:12:46,931
Ah! I was gonna sneak out
after they fell asleep.

270
00:12:47,049 --> 00:12:48,671
Lorraine!

271
00:12:50,516 --> 00:12:52,814
Thanks again for dinner, Dad.
Want to come hit the tables?

272
00:12:52,994 --> 00:12:54,260
Yeah, I'll be there in a minute, son.

273
00:12:54,284 --> 00:12:56,299
I can't wait to gamble
the money I definitely have.

274
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:01,517
Okay. I made a few calls,
but none of them panned out.

275
00:13:02,213 --> 00:13:04,322
Turns out that Robbie
Restaurants is dead,

276
00:13:04,633 --> 00:13:06,944
Harry Hubcaps is in jail
and the only guy I could

277
00:13:06,978 --> 00:13:08,588
get on the phone was Mikey Mumbles.

278
00:13:08,648 --> 00:13:10,768
- What did he say?
- Couldn't understand a word of it.

279
00:13:11,517 --> 00:13:14,002
Damn. I'm gonna look like
a idiot in front of my son.

280
00:13:14,275 --> 00:13:15,900
Reggie's just gonna love that.

281
00:13:16,049 --> 00:13:17,213
I can't afford this.

282
00:13:17,947 --> 00:13:19,400
Well, there is one other option.

283
00:13:20,188 --> 00:13:21,438
Dine and dash?

284
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:24,447
At our age, it's more
"gobble and hobble," but, yes.

285
00:13:25,002 --> 00:13:26,783
- Gentlemen. Is there a problem?
- Oh!

286
00:13:27,095 --> 00:13:28,158
Where the hell did you...?

287
00:13:28,486 --> 00:13:30,234
Wha... What, were you spying on us?

288
00:13:30,533 --> 00:13:32,414
We have a policy of watching anyone

289
00:13:32,439 --> 00:13:35,166
who screams "son of a bitch"
when they get their bill.

290
00:13:35,867 --> 00:13:38,963
You know what, if I can get
Tommy Two Tux on the phone,

291
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,202
you are gonna be done in this town.

292
00:13:41,408 --> 00:13:44,572
Yeah. I just don't think
that's a real person, so...

293
00:13:45,651 --> 00:13:46,806
Don't play dumb.

294
00:13:47,205 --> 00:13:48,920
He always wears two tuxes?

295
00:13:48,947 --> 00:13:52,197
Half black, half white,
split right down the middle?

296
00:13:52,518 --> 00:13:55,095
I believe you're
describing a Batman villain?

297
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:58,150
Hey, I thought you were right behind us.

298
00:13:58,174 --> 00:14:00,209
Dad, all these women
keep hitting on Reggie.

299
00:14:00,236 --> 00:14:01,251
It's hilarious.

300
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:03,478
Is there a problem over here?

301
00:14:03,502 --> 00:14:04,904
You the problem, man.

302
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:08,154
This man is trying to steal my son.

303
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,748
Amber Alert!

304
00:14:09,775 --> 00:14:13,686
- This man trying to steal my little boy.
- Dad, calm down.

305
00:14:13,713 --> 00:14:16,471
- Don't scream "Amber Alert."
- Not trying to steal anyone.

306
00:14:16,498 --> 00:14:18,748
We're talking about an adult
son, by the way. He's 40.

307
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,314
This man is trying to hug my little boy.

308
00:14:23,494 --> 00:14:25,486
Okay, I'm gonna walk away from this.

309
00:14:26,736 --> 00:14:28,048
What's your deal?

310
00:14:28,697 --> 00:14:30,528
Why'd you have to make a
scene and spoil a great dinner?

311
00:14:30,552 --> 00:14:32,707
It was great for you
and your big-ass friends.

312
00:14:32,916 --> 00:14:34,517
Me? All I had is half a salad.

313
00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:37,774
- Forget it.
- Tony, wait a minute.

314
00:14:37,799 --> 00:14:40,111
Sir, you can't leave without
paying your bill. Security.

315
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:43,056
I found a fingernail in my salad.

316
00:14:44,595 --> 00:14:45,595
Really?

317
00:14:45,736 --> 00:14:47,384
You're gonna bring your goons in?

318
00:14:47,509 --> 00:14:49,196
All right, here's what
is going to happen.

319
00:14:49,313 --> 00:14:53,087
You are going to let us
walk out of here right now.

320
00:14:54,035 --> 00:14:55,035
Take him, too.

321
00:15:07,996 --> 00:15:10,267
That's how Mama likes it. Yeah!

322
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:14,461
Ooh, yeah, boy. Earn that tuition.

323
00:15:14,486 --> 00:15:15,931
Earn it.

324
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:17,690
I love Vegas, Lorraine.

325
00:15:17,733 --> 00:15:20,306
I love how you call
your hands dong tongs.

326
00:15:20,915 --> 00:15:22,048
Snap, snap.

327
00:15:22,283 --> 00:15:23,861
Can't control my dong tongs.

328
00:15:25,447 --> 00:15:27,874
Hey, wait, wait. Where's
your little buddy?

329
00:15:27,917 --> 00:15:30,031
Oh, he's nursing a bad breakup.

330
00:15:30,056 --> 00:15:31,462
I've been trying to
cheer him up all night.

331
00:15:31,486 --> 00:15:33,463
- He's probably in the bathroom crying.
- Oh...

332
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,165
Fire in the hole!

333
00:15:41,377 --> 00:15:43,759
My stripper name is Backdraft.

334
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,543
Oh!

335
00:15:45,884 --> 00:15:48,454
Go Vegas Sid!

336
00:15:50,024 --> 00:15:51,087
Oh!

337
00:15:51,439 --> 00:15:53,017
Oh, that must be the other stripper.

338
00:15:58,306 --> 00:15:59,884
Ooh. Look at this one.

339
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:03,000
Ma'am, we got a noise complaint.

340
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:06,695
Okay, so your thing is
that you don't work out

341
00:16:06,739 --> 00:16:09,025
so that you look like a regular schlub.

342
00:16:09,118 --> 00:16:10,264
I dig it.

343
00:16:10,307 --> 00:16:12,135
Ma'am, I'm the head of hotel security.

344
00:16:12,267 --> 00:16:14,703
Hey. Hey, can we turn
off the music, please?

345
00:16:14,747 --> 00:16:16,792
Well, how are you gonna dance?

346
00:16:16,836 --> 00:16:18,478
Oh, he looks pissed.

347
00:16:18,579 --> 00:16:20,157
I better cool him off.

348
00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:27,063
Take it off!

349
00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:30,704
Ha, ha, ha.

350
00:16:34,196 --> 00:16:37,073
Hey, Hank. Don't worry,
bud, I'll get us out of here.

351
00:16:37,117 --> 00:16:40,367
Before they took our phones,
I left a message with Tommy Two Tux.

352
00:16:40,555 --> 00:16:44,258
Charlie, I'm sick of your made-up
stories about your made-up friends.

353
00:16:44,390 --> 00:16:45,656
We need a real plan.

354
00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:48,281
We got to get in touch
with Margaret and Sid.

355
00:16:51,609 --> 00:16:53,176
Hank? Charlie?

356
00:16:53,625 --> 00:16:54,976
Margaret, thank God.

357
00:16:55,211 --> 00:16:56,508
Are y'all here to bail us out?

358
00:16:57,319 --> 00:16:58,344
Nope.

359
00:17:09,758 --> 00:17:12,648
My son's wedding's in an hour.
I guess I'm gonna miss it.

360
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:14,593
Well, what does it matter?

361
00:17:14,618 --> 00:17:16,059
Reggie's his daddy now, anyway.

362
00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:19,139
Shut up, Hank. You know, you...

363
00:17:19,530 --> 00:17:22,647
You know what your
problem is, Hank is...

364
00:17:28,388 --> 00:17:29,506
Mother of my child.

365
00:17:31,194 --> 00:17:33,967
- I shouldn't have come here.
- Me either.

366
00:17:34,756 --> 00:17:37,186
I wish I was home, looking
at pictures of John.

367
00:17:37,647 --> 00:17:39,059
I also wish I had some pants.

368
00:17:39,084 --> 00:17:41,006
It's freezing here in the big house.

369
00:17:42,545 --> 00:17:45,811
Can't believe that Tommy Two
Tux didn't show up for us.

370
00:17:46,264 --> 00:17:47,795
Will you listen to the three of you?

371
00:17:48,069 --> 00:17:50,060
You know what? Vegas
Margaret is not gonna sit here

372
00:17:50,084 --> 00:17:51,978
and listen to you sad sacks complaining.

373
00:17:52,209 --> 00:17:53,497
Here's the deal, Hank.

374
00:17:54,279 --> 00:17:55,983
Reggie has more money than you do.

375
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:58,787
Reggie will always have
more money than you do,

376
00:17:59,076 --> 00:18:02,364
and he will be better looking, and
he will be more charming...

377
00:18:02,389 --> 00:18:03,647
Get to the point.

378
00:18:04,303 --> 00:18:05,748
You can't control all of that.

379
00:18:05,773 --> 00:18:08,388
What you can control is your
relationship with your son,

380
00:18:08,413 --> 00:18:10,890
so stop moping and go talk to him.

381
00:18:11,226 --> 00:18:13,482
And you, Sid, you can
have a John pity party

382
00:18:13,507 --> 00:18:16,405
for the rest of your life,
or you can choose to move on.

383
00:18:16,694 --> 00:18:19,398
And Charlie, it's time to stop lying.

384
00:18:19,788 --> 00:18:21,599
We love you. You don't
have to keep making up

385
00:18:21,624 --> 00:18:24,421
these crazy stories
about your fake past.

386
00:18:25,173 --> 00:18:26,671
Ah.

387
00:18:29,098 --> 00:18:30,839
If it ain't Charlie Sell Phones.

388
00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:33,452
- You're looking good.
- Tommy Two Tux.

389
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:34,983
You're not.

390
00:18:36,018 --> 00:18:37,827
- You were saying, Margaret?
- Oh.

391
00:18:38,343 --> 00:18:40,928
Marone. Get a load of the
outfit on this broad, eh?

392
00:18:43,452 --> 00:18:44,755
Look, you guys are free to go.

393
00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:45,802
- Oh.
- Yeah.

394
00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:48,608
Oh, FYI... uh, that
manager at that restaurant

395
00:18:48,631 --> 00:18:50,684
- Yeah.
- Yeah. He's gonna be mopping stalls

396
00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:53,537
at the Hard Rock from now on.

397
00:18:55,466 --> 00:18:56,920
Charlie, you came through.

398
00:18:57,545 --> 00:19:00,388
Looks like I'm gonna make
my son's wedding after all.

399
00:19:02,262 --> 00:19:03,318
Lorraine.

400
00:19:04,474 --> 00:19:05,482
Lorraine!

401
00:19:07,974 --> 00:19:09,006
Last call.

402
00:19:09,355 --> 00:19:10,474
Vodka tonic.

403
00:19:17,271 --> 00:19:19,071
- Are you ready?
- Ready, man. I'm ready, man.

404
00:19:19,154 --> 00:19:21,514
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Let's do it. Let's do it.

405
00:19:21,888 --> 00:19:22,891
Oh, there you are, Dad.

406
00:19:23,849 --> 00:19:25,099
Thanks for dressing up.

407
00:19:26,263 --> 00:19:28,287
Hey, guys. Will you, uh,
excuse us for a minute?

408
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,521
Yeah.

409
00:19:30,934 --> 00:19:32,454
You know, there's food in the hallway.

410
00:19:35,404 --> 00:19:36,881
Listen...

411
00:19:37,170 --> 00:19:38,701
I want to apologize.

412
00:19:39,498 --> 00:19:41,662
I know I was acting crazy,

413
00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:43,521
'cause...

414
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:46,615
I just feel like Reggie's
replacing me, man.

415
00:19:46,763 --> 00:19:47,841
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

416
00:19:48,373 --> 00:19:49,685
Come on, I like Reggie.

417
00:19:50,178 --> 00:19:51,193
He's my friend.

418
00:19:51,778 --> 00:19:52,778
But you're my dad.

419
00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:54,412
There's no replacing you.

420
00:19:55,564 --> 00:19:56,596
And if this is about Reggie hosting

421
00:19:56,620 --> 00:19:58,540
- the wedding, then...
- No, it's more than that.

422
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,524
Y'all just seem like you're closer.

423
00:20:00,610 --> 00:20:05,110
You know, with the trips,
the hugs, all the inside jokes.

424
00:20:05,194 --> 00:20:06,754
Yeah, but that's never been your style.

425
00:20:06,828 --> 00:20:08,197
No, it ha-never has.

426
00:20:08,610 --> 00:20:09,617
But I want it to be.

427
00:20:09,992 --> 00:20:12,211
I want to be there for you from now on.

428
00:20:12,492 --> 00:20:14,092
And I want to be a part of your wedding.

429
00:20:14,312 --> 00:20:15,335
I'd love that.

430
00:20:15,552 --> 00:20:18,338
All right. And I'm gonna
walk you down the aisle.

431
00:20:18,875 --> 00:20:20,485
You ever been to a wedding?
That's not something...

432
00:20:20,509 --> 00:20:24,766
I'm walking you down that aisle.

433
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,467
- Okay, Pop. Okay, okay.
- Okay.

434
00:20:26,743 --> 00:20:29,095
- So, how you feeling?
- Uh...

435
00:20:29,181 --> 00:20:31,563
- a little nervous, to be honest.
- Well, that's natural, man.

436
00:20:31,587 --> 00:20:33,376
You don't have to be strong, okay?

437
00:20:33,423 --> 00:20:35,050
'Cause you can be weak

438
00:20:35,094 --> 00:20:38,097
knowing that your daddy
is gonna be your rock.

439
00:20:39,794 --> 00:20:42,173
This... this my baby.

440
00:20:42,439 --> 00:20:43,969
My little baby boy.

441
00:20:44,214 --> 00:20:45,227
You get...

442
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:46,923
Oh, I'm not gonna make it.

443
00:20:47,098 --> 00:20:50,449
Oh, I'm just... just joyful.

444
00:20:52,154 --> 00:20:53,910
You done found your queen.

445
00:20:53,980 --> 00:20:55,244
All right, then.

446
00:20:55,769 --> 00:20:57,058
Oh, he gonna...

447
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,277
Ooh!

448
00:21:00,754 --> 00:21:04,222
Oh, that's my son! Lord!

449
00:21:05,769 --> 00:21:06,933
Here she comes.

450
00:21:08,082 --> 00:21:11,754
Oh!

451
00:21:11,957 --> 00:21:13,635
She look like a angel,

452
00:21:13,660 --> 00:21:16,308
like she's just floating on in.

453
00:21:17,074 --> 00:21:20,402
Oh. Oh!

454
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:26,245
Eyes on the prize. She's
coming to get you, Tony...

455
00:21:28,581 --> 00:21:30,698
For ever and ever and ever and ever.

456
00:21:30,724 --> 00:21:37,437
CREDITS