1 00:00:00,973 --> 00:00:02,939 So in honor of Earth Day, we'll be helping 2 00:00:02,940 --> 00:00:05,034 save the environment by switching 3 00:00:05,058 --> 00:00:07,873 to recycled toilet paper and selling 4 00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:10,015 "The Day After Tomorrow" on Blu-Ray for half off. 5 00:00:10,017 --> 00:00:10,970 That should do it. 6 00:00:10,971 --> 00:00:12,851 Uh, corporate is also asking us 7 00:00:12,853 --> 00:00:15,878 to discuss ways we can all live more sustainably. 8 00:00:16,423 --> 00:00:17,456 Anybody? 9 00:00:18,358 --> 00:00:21,092 I turn the faucet off while I'm brushing my teeth. 10 00:00:21,094 --> 00:00:22,928 Oh, I do that. I brush in the bathtub. 11 00:00:22,930 --> 00:00:25,355 Actually, baths are really bad for the environment. 12 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,365 Yeah, but they're really great for my skin so, 13 00:00:27,367 --> 00:00:29,334 give and take. Jerusha and I have started 14 00:00:29,336 --> 00:00:31,693 unplugging the refrigerator whenever we're not home. 15 00:00:31,854 --> 00:00:34,531 - Doesn't your food go bad? - Actually, yeah, it's awful. 16 00:00:34,573 --> 00:00:36,506 We've been throwing away tons of stuff. 17 00:00:36,508 --> 00:00:39,176 I'm a vegan so it's basically like driving four Priuses. 18 00:00:39,178 --> 00:00:40,695 I play a game at home where I try to use 19 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:41,853 less water each week. 20 00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:43,320 Now I only flush my toilet 21 00:00:43,345 --> 00:00:44,312 when it's full. 22 00:00:45,648 --> 00:00:48,518 Okay, uh... that was a good discussion. 23 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,054 Last but not least, each branch is now 24 00:00:51,056 --> 00:00:54,725 going to have an employee "green ambassador" to promote 25 00:00:54,727 --> 00:00:56,860 sustainability efforts within the store. 26 00:00:56,862 --> 00:00:59,921 Ours is going to be Jonah, obviously. 27 00:00:59,922 --> 00:01:02,734 - A-doy. - What up, dork? 28 00:01:02,759 --> 00:01:04,359 Thank you, everyone. 29 00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:05,869 Oh, you don't have to speak. 30 00:01:05,871 --> 00:01:07,771 Well, I figured as green ambassador, 31 00:01:07,773 --> 00:01:10,356 I should serve the badge. 32 00:01:10,357 --> 00:01:11,807 It's a button. Calm down. 33 00:01:11,808 --> 00:01:14,444 "Now is the time to act on climate change!" 34 00:01:14,446 --> 00:01:18,715 "If global temperatures rise by just half a degree more, 35 00:01:18,717 --> 00:01:20,795 we will be at the point of no return 36 00:01:20,820 --> 00:01:25,255 towards a worldwide apocalypse in less than ten years. 37 00:01:25,257 --> 00:01:27,835 The Obama administration is working t"... 38 00:01:28,727 --> 00:01:31,395 oh, this was printed in 2009. 39 00:01:31,397 --> 00:01:33,463 - Well, did we make it? - Just looked it up. 40 00:01:33,465 --> 00:01:35,061 No. Not even close. 41 00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,624 Oh, no. 42 00:01:37,315 --> 00:01:39,073 Somebody should really be paying attention to this. 43 00:01:39,401 --> 00:01:44,378 credits 44 00:01:44,402 --> 00:01:46,055 _ 45 00:01:46,079 --> 00:01:47,532 _ 46 00:01:47,556 --> 00:01:49,280 _ 47 00:01:49,281 --> 00:01:51,266 Hey, guys, I'm supposed to sign people up 48 00:01:51,291 --> 00:01:52,658 for some green initiatives. 49 00:01:52,683 --> 00:01:54,594 Anybody feel like helping start a compost? 50 00:01:54,619 --> 00:01:56,563 Isn't that where you put old food in a barrel 51 00:01:56,588 --> 00:01:57,806 and then stir in poop? 52 00:01:57,807 --> 00:01:59,422 Well, that's an over simplification. 53 00:01:59,447 --> 00:02:01,024 Pass! My doctor says 54 00:02:01,026 --> 00:02:03,160 if I get meningitis one more time, I'll die. 55 00:02:03,162 --> 00:02:06,029 Okay, well, uh, there's other stuff. 56 00:02:06,031 --> 00:02:08,571 Uh, this Sunday I'm putting a team together 57 00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:09,798 to plant some trees out back. 58 00:02:09,799 --> 00:02:11,368 - I'll do that. - Me too. 59 00:02:11,370 --> 00:02:13,103 I could really use the overtime right now. 60 00:02:13,105 --> 00:02:16,032 Oh, yeah, so they're not paying anybody for this. 61 00:02:16,057 --> 00:02:17,680 - So you'd be paying us? - Me? 62 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,138 - No, I'm... - Or who's paying us? 63 00:02:19,163 --> 00:02:21,382 Uh, okay. Nobody is paying anybody. 64 00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:24,325 So you're just asking us as like, a favor? 65 00:02:24,350 --> 00:02:27,784 I don't want to waste a Sunday doing you a favor. 66 00:02:27,785 --> 00:02:29,593 I mean, no offense. We're just not that close. 67 00:02:29,594 --> 00:02:33,579 It's not a favor for me. It's a favor for the Earth. 68 00:02:33,604 --> 00:02:35,826 For your children. For your grandchildren. 69 00:02:35,828 --> 00:02:36,985 - Mm, no thanks. - I don't know. 70 00:02:37,010 --> 00:02:38,260 I can't even have kids. 71 00:02:38,429 --> 00:02:40,388 I fell of a four-wheeler when I was nine. 72 00:02:40,507 --> 00:02:42,666 Burst my ball sack clean open. 73 00:02:43,602 --> 00:02:45,633 Okay, well, I'll just leave the sign-up sheet 74 00:02:45,658 --> 00:02:47,810 at customer service in case you change your mind. 75 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,319 I can still have orgasms though! 76 00:02:51,740 --> 00:02:53,110 They just hurt really bad. 77 00:02:53,664 --> 00:02:55,384 If you need to use the bathroom, 78 00:02:55,385 --> 00:02:57,422 here's a key to the employees' bathroom. 79 00:02:57,447 --> 00:02:59,157 - Thank you. - The customer bathrooms 80 00:02:59,182 --> 00:03:00,894 hit sort of a tipping point, 81 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,652 so we stopped cleaning them. 82 00:03:02,653 --> 00:03:05,688 Oh, hey, guys! You remember Pastor Craig. 83 00:03:05,691 --> 00:03:06,498 Oh, yes. Hi. 84 00:03:06,499 --> 00:03:07,673 He's my pastor and friend. 85 00:03:07,674 --> 00:03:09,359 Well, friend first, pastor second. 86 00:03:09,361 --> 00:03:10,852 Well, pastor first and foremost. 87 00:03:10,877 --> 00:03:12,196 - Yeah, 50/50. - Mm. 88 00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:14,331 Anyway, this is Amy and Mateo. 89 00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:15,638 - Hi. - Amy's divorced 90 00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:17,868 and recently had a child out of wedlock. 91 00:03:17,870 --> 00:03:19,569 - Yep. - And Mateo's gay, 92 00:03:19,571 --> 00:03:21,104 but not in a way that defines him. 93 00:03:21,106 --> 00:03:22,448 - Oh, hallelujah. - Don't worry. 94 00:03:22,449 --> 00:03:24,674 Pastor Craig is one of those cool pastors 95 00:03:24,676 --> 00:03:26,443 who's down with all the gay stuff. 96 00:03:26,445 --> 00:03:29,179 That's probably not how I would have phrased that, 97 00:03:29,181 --> 00:03:31,454 but hey, I did enjoy "The Birdcage." 98 00:03:32,264 --> 00:03:34,164 It was an important film. 99 00:03:34,292 --> 00:03:36,058 Pastor Craig's handing out these little plants 100 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,516 to all the customers for Earth Day. 101 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:38,689 Yup. I like to say 102 00:03:38,690 --> 00:03:40,600 that God has a "plant" for every one of us. 103 00:03:40,602 --> 00:03:41,915 Plant. 104 00:03:42,187 --> 00:03:45,085 Um, are you setting up a booth in the store? 105 00:03:45,110 --> 00:03:46,750 Is this something you ran by me? 106 00:03:47,813 --> 00:03:50,643 Oh... sorry, I've been manager so long, I forgot to ask. 107 00:03:50,645 --> 00:03:52,412 I'm sorry. Is it gonna be a problem? 108 00:03:52,414 --> 00:03:56,182 No, it's not a problem. Just, next time, run it by me. 109 00:03:56,184 --> 00:03:58,451 - Okay. - Or else I could get mad. 110 00:03:59,821 --> 00:04:01,654 I'm just kidding. Not totally, 111 00:04:01,656 --> 00:04:03,089 because you should run these things by me. 112 00:04:03,091 --> 00:04:05,491 Ab... absolutely. And thank you for doing this. 113 00:04:05,493 --> 00:04:07,026 - Okay. - All right. 114 00:04:07,028 --> 00:04:09,329 Oh, and I do enjoy the occasional episode 115 00:04:09,331 --> 00:04:10,830 of "Will & Grace." 116 00:04:10,832 --> 00:04:12,848 - I will tell the rest of us. - Yeah. 117 00:04:13,702 --> 00:04:15,335 Thank you, Pastor. 118 00:04:24,946 --> 00:04:26,379 Oh, getting a lot of people to sign up 119 00:04:26,381 --> 00:04:27,465 for your little green thing? 120 00:04:27,466 --> 00:04:30,317 Yeah, everybody's signing up for recycling. 121 00:04:30,342 --> 00:04:33,394 I've got "S. SquarePants," "Hannity Rules," 122 00:04:33,396 --> 00:04:35,898 "Suck It," and "Yo Skanky Grandma." 123 00:04:36,011 --> 00:04:37,161 That's a solid team. 124 00:04:37,186 --> 00:04:40,335 Only real employee to sign up is Joe... 125 00:04:40,337 --> 00:04:41,603 Nuzzadoosh? 126 00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:43,142 Say it a little faster. 127 00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:44,439 Joe Nuzzadoosh? 128 00:04:44,441 --> 00:04:45,840 "Jonah's a douche." Got it. 129 00:04:45,842 --> 00:04:47,408 - Well done. - Thank you. 130 00:04:47,410 --> 00:04:49,077 Why am I the only person who cares 131 00:04:49,079 --> 00:04:51,039 that the entire planet is falling apart? 132 00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:52,533 Oh, come on. You live for this stuff. 133 00:04:52,535 --> 00:04:54,602 - What stuff? - You know, finding a cause, 134 00:04:54,604 --> 00:04:57,204 leading a movement, getting to say "unacceptable" a lot. 135 00:04:57,206 --> 00:04:59,940 I'm sorry, I guess I didn't realize that humanitarianism 136 00:04:59,942 --> 00:05:02,192 was such a buzz kill. I guess that also means... 137 00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,095 Bono is not cool. 138 00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:05,896 Oh, okay, so now you're Bono? 139 00:05:05,898 --> 00:05:07,164 - No, that's not what I mean. - I see. 140 00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:08,389 You're just the Bono of the store? 141 00:05:08,414 --> 00:05:09,858 I didn't say I was Bono. 142 00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:11,383 All right, look, I'm just messing with you. 143 00:05:11,408 --> 00:05:12,646 But it is kind of true though. 144 00:05:12,671 --> 00:05:14,071 I mean, I guess if... 145 00:05:14,073 --> 00:05:16,477 anybody here was Bono, it would be you. 146 00:05:16,842 --> 00:05:18,609 I mean, I guess. 147 00:05:18,611 --> 00:05:21,552 Hey, Heather! Jonah thinks he's the Bono of the store! 148 00:05:21,577 --> 00:05:24,681 No, no, no, that's not... no, he made me... 149 00:05:24,683 --> 00:05:26,683 why do I even talk to you? 150 00:05:26,685 --> 00:05:28,388 Aw, good talking to U2! 151 00:05:28,754 --> 00:05:31,188 - Get it? Like the letter U... - Yeah, I got it. 152 00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:32,082 All right. 153 00:05:32,858 --> 00:05:35,893 Well, it is shaping up in here. 154 00:05:35,895 --> 00:05:37,861 I see you opted against the standing desk. 155 00:05:37,863 --> 00:05:39,196 You just gonna join a gym instead? 156 00:05:39,198 --> 00:05:41,231 - What? - Did you say it was okay 157 00:05:41,233 --> 00:05:43,534 for Glenn's pastor to set up a booth in the store? 158 00:05:43,536 --> 00:05:46,036 Yeah, he's just handing out little plants. 159 00:05:46,038 --> 00:05:47,538 Well, that's how it starts. 160 00:05:47,540 --> 00:05:49,280 Then, next thing you know, cult leaders are handing out 161 00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:50,717 little tiny cups of Kool-Aid. 162 00:05:50,742 --> 00:05:53,287 - Drink up, everybody! - That's a big, dark leap. 163 00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:55,546 Look, it's fine. It's just this one time. 164 00:05:55,548 --> 00:05:57,835 Plus, Glenn had already told him he could do it, so... 165 00:05:57,860 --> 00:05:59,716 Yeah, but you're the manager. You can't let Glenn 166 00:05:59,718 --> 00:06:00,884 start walking all over you. 167 00:06:00,886 --> 00:06:02,711 You need to come down on him hard. 168 00:06:02,778 --> 00:06:04,488 I think you just want to watch me yell at Glenn. 169 00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:06,090 This has nothing to do with my personal feelings. 170 00:06:06,092 --> 00:06:07,925 Would I enjoy watching you yell at Glenn? 171 00:06:07,927 --> 00:06:09,059 Of course I would. 172 00:06:09,061 --> 00:06:10,727 Would I prefer to do the yelling? 173 00:06:10,729 --> 00:06:12,129 Great question. No. 174 00:06:12,131 --> 00:06:13,764 I think it would be more fun to be a spectator. 175 00:06:13,766 --> 00:06:15,232 - Hmm. - Would I judge you 176 00:06:15,234 --> 00:06:16,900 if you lost it all and it became physical? 177 00:06:16,902 --> 00:06:19,736 Of course not. Would it be our little secret? 178 00:06:19,738 --> 00:06:21,138 Absolutely. 179 00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:33,117 Who switched the white coffee filters 180 00:06:33,119 --> 00:06:34,952 with the brown ones that taste like dirt? 181 00:06:34,954 --> 00:06:37,805 I did. The white filters contain dioxins which... 182 00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:39,000 I like dioxins. 183 00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:41,191 And is one person using white coffee filters 184 00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,444 really going to ruin the planet? 185 00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,458 No, but if everybody said that... 186 00:06:44,483 --> 00:06:45,762 I'm not talking about everybody. 187 00:06:45,764 --> 00:06:46,645 I'm talking about me. 188 00:06:46,646 --> 00:06:48,999 Were you also the one who replaced the straws 189 00:06:49,001 --> 00:06:50,834 - with these paper things? - Yes. 190 00:06:50,836 --> 00:06:53,036 These have no structural integrity. 191 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,476 Why did I even leave Syria? 192 00:06:54,477 --> 00:06:55,379 Okay, you know what? 193 00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:56,857 Somebody had to be green ambassador, 194 00:06:56,882 --> 00:06:58,255 so I said sure, but I'm tired of being 195 00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,841 the only one who volunteers around here, 196 00:06:59,866 --> 00:07:02,405 so if anybody else wants to take over for me... 197 00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:03,694 - Okay, I'll do it. - Huh? 198 00:07:04,884 --> 00:07:06,928 I'll be the green guy or whatever. 199 00:07:08,093 --> 00:07:10,761 O... okay, gr... great. There you go. 200 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,162 Finally, somebody's stepping up. 201 00:07:12,164 --> 00:07:13,864 So let's hear it for Cheyenne. 202 00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:17,611 I'll clap when I get some decent coffee. 203 00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:20,671 "And sometimes the hardest thing to accept 204 00:07:20,673 --> 00:07:22,839 is that we are not in control." 205 00:07:22,841 --> 00:07:24,508 So true. So true. 206 00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:28,249 "For only by losing ourselves completely to God 207 00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:29,846 can we find"... 208 00:07:29,848 --> 00:07:31,081 - Ourselves. - "God's mercy." 209 00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:32,670 God's mercy. Amen. 210 00:07:32,671 --> 00:07:34,685 Amen. Glenn, again, just feel free to listen. 211 00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:36,286 Don't try and guess what I'm going to say. 212 00:07:36,288 --> 00:07:37,854 I'm about to say it. You're going to hear it. 213 00:07:37,856 --> 00:07:39,423 Okay, no problem at all, my friend. 214 00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:40,357 - Pastor. - Glenn. 215 00:07:40,850 --> 00:07:41,632 - Mm-hmm? - Can I talk to you 216 00:07:41,657 --> 00:07:44,868 - for a minute? - Uh, yeah, I gue... 217 00:07:45,130 --> 00:07:46,530 do you think you can press pause? 218 00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:48,799 - Maybe take a fiver? - We'll keep going. 219 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,367 Okay, I've got the book anyway. 220 00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:51,902 - It's great. - All right. 221 00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:53,103 Glenn, you said that he was 222 00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:54,371 just going to be handing out plants. 223 00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:55,906 I know! Who knew we'd be getting 224 00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:57,808 a live reading of his book too? 225 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,943 Uh-huh, yeah. It's just that this 226 00:07:59,945 --> 00:08:02,045 kind of goes beyond what we had discussed... 227 00:08:02,047 --> 00:08:04,047 Yeah, way beyond, baby! 228 00:08:04,049 --> 00:08:06,049 Uh, I just don't think 229 00:08:06,051 --> 00:08:08,452 that corporate is going to be too excited to hear that 230 00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:11,321 a Christian pastor was doing a book reading in the store. 231 00:08:11,323 --> 00:08:12,956 Okay, but I'm not worried about that. 232 00:08:12,958 --> 00:08:14,558 Well, you might not be worried about it but... 233 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,326 Can we talk about this later? It's just that, 234 00:08:16,328 --> 00:08:18,262 I do have the book, but nothing beats live, 235 00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:19,663 - so I just... - Glenn. 236 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:22,199 "Let's praise him in a way that pays him." 237 00:08:25,294 --> 00:08:26,727 Hey, dude. Did you drop these 238 00:08:26,729 --> 00:08:28,529 cool wraparound sunglasses? 239 00:08:28,531 --> 00:08:30,117 No, I don't think... 240 00:08:30,932 --> 00:08:32,299 ah, I get it. 241 00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:34,094 Because they look like Bono sunglasses? 242 00:08:34,095 --> 00:08:35,962 - Yeah. - Do we even sell those here? 243 00:08:36,042 --> 00:08:38,842 No, I had to go to CVS to get these, but it was worth it. 244 00:08:38,844 --> 00:08:41,257 Jonah, hey. I need to talk to you 245 00:08:41,282 --> 00:08:43,347 about the green ambassador thing. 246 00:08:43,349 --> 00:08:45,416 Oh, uh, sure. Happy to help. 247 00:08:45,418 --> 00:08:47,130 Oh, you forgot to give me the button. 248 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:51,327 Right, the button. Here is your one button. 249 00:08:51,352 --> 00:08:53,118 - Wear it with pride. - Thanks. 250 00:08:53,292 --> 00:08:56,293 And again, if you need any help with ideas, you know, 251 00:08:56,295 --> 00:08:57,890 or just like a... like a sounding board, 252 00:08:57,891 --> 00:08:59,597 you can always come to me. 253 00:08:59,599 --> 00:09:01,465 That's okay. I don't want to. 254 00:09:01,467 --> 00:09:02,967 Oh, shoot. I was going to return these, 255 00:09:02,969 --> 00:09:04,777 but I think there's a scratch on the inside. 256 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,372 - You see that? - No. 257 00:09:06,472 --> 00:09:08,138 You have to, like, get them close. 258 00:09:09,303 --> 00:09:10,286 No, I don't... 259 00:09:10,974 --> 00:09:12,743 - okay... - Ey, Bono! 260 00:09:12,745 --> 00:09:14,335 - It's Bono, everybody! - You know what? 261 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,614 - I understand that. - Hey, Amy? 262 00:09:16,616 --> 00:09:18,449 - Yes? - Pastor Craig told this lady 263 00:09:18,451 --> 00:09:19,928 that if she bought a signed copy of his book, 264 00:09:19,953 --> 00:09:21,320 she would get a free watch. 265 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:22,721 Should I give her a watch? 266 00:09:22,722 --> 00:09:25,289 Wait, now he's selling his book in the store? 267 00:09:25,291 --> 00:09:26,624 I told you you should have screamed 268 00:09:26,626 --> 00:09:27,889 at Glenn from the start. 269 00:09:28,475 --> 00:09:30,028 It's okay. It's a learning curve. 270 00:09:30,542 --> 00:09:33,998 When we haven't accepted God in our hearts, we feel empty! 271 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,294 And then we try to fill that emptiness 272 00:09:37,295 --> 00:09:39,503 by buying things. 273 00:09:39,505 --> 00:09:42,840 New phone, jewelry, that fancy blender. 274 00:09:42,842 --> 00:09:45,309 - This is just for nut butters. - Okay, that's all right. 275 00:09:45,311 --> 00:09:46,472 Hey, what are you doing? 276 00:09:46,473 --> 00:09:48,257 You can't sell your book in the store. 277 00:09:48,258 --> 00:09:50,655 Oh, it's fine. Glenn okayed it. Hallelujah. 278 00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:52,532 Well, it doesn't really matter what Glenn okayed 279 00:09:52,533 --> 00:09:54,319 - because I'm the manager. - Maybe I should go get Glenn. 280 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:55,516 No, we don't need Glenn for this. 281 00:09:55,518 --> 00:09:57,171 Well, I know we don't need him, but it would just be... 282 00:09:57,172 --> 00:09:58,849 - it'd be fun. - Guys, I really think 283 00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:00,294 we should talk about this another time. 284 00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:01,728 I have customers, and this is unprofessional. 285 00:10:01,729 --> 00:10:03,995 - Hallelujah. - These are not your customers. 286 00:10:03,996 --> 00:10:05,817 She is. She bought two books. 287 00:10:05,818 --> 00:10:08,287 I'm gonna have to ask you to please leave the store. 288 00:10:08,288 --> 00:10:09,618 Oh, so I guess you're kicking me out. 289 00:10:09,619 --> 00:10:11,606 You can take it that way, yes. 290 00:10:11,607 --> 00:10:13,396 All right, uh, as you guys heard, 291 00:10:13,397 --> 00:10:15,358 I've been asked to leave. 292 00:10:16,204 --> 00:10:17,680 That's okay. I implore you all 293 00:10:17,681 --> 00:10:21,028 to handle this like good Christians 294 00:10:21,029 --> 00:10:22,500 and not escalate it to violence. 295 00:10:22,501 --> 00:10:23,851 Nobody was talking about violence. 296 00:10:23,852 --> 00:10:26,050 Lord! Bow your heads. 297 00:10:26,052 --> 00:10:28,226 - No, please do not. Sir... - Lord forgive her! 298 00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:30,272 - She knows not... - Mm-hmm. 299 00:10:30,633 --> 00:10:31,799 - What she does. - I know exactly 300 00:10:31,802 --> 00:10:33,202 what I'm doing. 301 00:10:33,204 --> 00:10:34,436 And if anyone wants any more information 302 00:10:34,438 --> 00:10:35,771 about our church, you can reach us 303 00:10:35,773 --> 00:10:38,874 at lifesworkschurch.org/donate. 304 00:10:38,876 --> 00:10:40,088 - Okay, you're done. - All right, 305 00:10:40,089 --> 00:10:42,277 just so you all know, this was not a race thing. 306 00:10:42,279 --> 00:10:44,480 We're kicking him out for practicing his religion. 307 00:10:44,482 --> 00:10:46,115 No, that is not true. 308 00:10:46,117 --> 00:10:47,497 All right, I stand corrected. 309 00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:49,918 Race may have had a little to do with it. 310 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,121 Okay. 311 00:11:01,732 --> 00:11:04,349 Okay, so welcome to the first meeting 312 00:11:04,374 --> 00:11:06,502 of the new and improved green team. 313 00:11:07,738 --> 00:11:10,716 Now let's all think of some ways to help the environment. 314 00:11:10,823 --> 00:11:12,082 Yeah, and nothing super annoying 315 00:11:12,083 --> 00:11:14,065 that turns coffee into hot turd juice. 316 00:11:14,066 --> 00:11:15,793 Oh, sorry, Jonah. I didn't see you there. 317 00:11:15,795 --> 00:11:16,838 I saw him. 318 00:11:16,863 --> 00:11:18,666 I didn't make the filters myself, 319 00:11:18,691 --> 00:11:20,213 so it's not a burn on me. 320 00:11:20,251 --> 00:11:22,026 We should post something on social media. 321 00:11:22,027 --> 00:11:25,603 Okay, what about something like #oceans? 322 00:11:25,605 --> 00:11:27,874 Yes, I love that. That's so good. 323 00:11:27,875 --> 00:11:29,453 Um, I'm sorry. 324 00:11:29,454 --> 00:11:32,450 What exactly would a hashtag accomplish? 325 00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:34,916 Well, it's about starting a conversation. 326 00:11:35,290 --> 00:11:36,760 What conversation? 327 00:11:37,019 --> 00:11:39,040 - This conversation. - Yeah. 328 00:11:39,041 --> 00:11:41,384 - Yup. - Oh, what if we took turns 329 00:11:41,385 --> 00:11:43,448 - teaching dumb kids to read? - Mm. 330 00:11:43,449 --> 00:11:46,451 Ooh, that's good. Or prison reform. 331 00:11:46,452 --> 00:11:48,959 Okay, again, um, sorry... none of my business, 332 00:11:48,961 --> 00:11:51,478 but, uh, wondering if maybe your scope 333 00:11:51,479 --> 00:11:52,680 is getting a little wide. 334 00:11:52,681 --> 00:11:54,290 Look who hates prison reform. 335 00:11:54,291 --> 00:11:56,026 I'm actually with Jonah on this one. 336 00:11:56,027 --> 00:11:57,979 I've been to prison, and honestly, 337 00:11:58,004 --> 00:11:59,180 it's perfect as is. 338 00:12:01,861 --> 00:12:04,035 Wait... wha... where's Pastor Craig? 339 00:12:04,036 --> 00:12:06,280 Oh, didn't you hear? Amy kicked him out. 340 00:12:06,753 --> 00:12:08,679 - What? - Yeah, he was really upset 341 00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:10,768 about it too. Like, devastated. 342 00:12:10,793 --> 00:12:12,018 I think he may have said something about 343 00:12:12,043 --> 00:12:13,807 being disappointed in you personally. 344 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,395 I don't remember exactly. 345 00:12:15,396 --> 00:12:17,830 Anyway, I hate to be the one to break it to you. 346 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,151 What... what are you... 347 00:12:21,893 --> 00:12:22,911 It's really important 348 00:12:22,912 --> 00:12:24,116 to break down cardboard waste. 349 00:12:25,768 --> 00:12:27,378 You know, Earth Day and all. 350 00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,502 Oh! 351 00:12:28,619 --> 00:12:30,486 You kicked Pastor Craig out of the store? 352 00:12:30,487 --> 00:12:31,853 - I want the truth. - Yes. 353 00:12:31,854 --> 00:12:34,038 Don't... don't lie to me, Amy. 354 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,219 - You kicked him out! - I said yes! 355 00:12:36,220 --> 00:12:38,166 He was selling his book in the store, Glenn. 356 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,658 I didn't agree to that. 357 00:12:39,908 --> 00:12:42,238 You... you are out of control, missy! 358 00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:43,748 And... and you are going to pick up the phone 359 00:12:43,749 --> 00:12:45,539 and you are gonna call Pastor Craig 360 00:12:45,540 --> 00:12:47,356 and apologize to him right now! 361 00:12:47,357 --> 00:12:48,312 No. 362 00:12:49,548 --> 00:12:51,481 Then you can't be manager anymore. 363 00:12:51,506 --> 00:12:52,923 - What? - Yeah, I'm sorry. 364 00:12:52,925 --> 00:12:54,738 I thought... I thought you could handle it, 365 00:12:54,739 --> 00:12:57,306 but you immediately came in and started 366 00:12:57,307 --> 00:12:59,785 whizzing all over the place and changing up 367 00:12:59,786 --> 00:13:02,744 a perfectly good office and, "Oh, look." 368 00:13:02,745 --> 00:13:04,040 "Look at our window. 369 00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:06,137 Now we can all stare at Manager Amy." 370 00:13:06,139 --> 00:13:08,078 Glenn, you can't just take the job back. 371 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,774 Yes, I can. Get out of my office. 372 00:13:10,143 --> 00:13:11,642 That's not gonna happen. 373 00:13:11,644 --> 00:13:14,478 So... you're just keeping the job? 374 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,539 - Yeah. - Well then, what can I do? 375 00:13:18,315 --> 00:13:20,951 - Nothing. - But then I can't do anything! 376 00:13:20,953 --> 00:13:22,925 - I know. - So what? I mean, 377 00:13:22,926 --> 00:13:24,785 I've just gotta do whatever you say? 378 00:13:24,786 --> 00:13:26,829 - Yeah. - But then I can't do what I want. 379 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,240 And I want to do it. 380 00:13:29,589 --> 00:13:31,499 This is so unfair! 381 00:13:32,377 --> 00:13:34,404 Can I even slam the door? 382 00:13:34,534 --> 00:13:37,140 I'd rather that you didn't. 383 00:13:39,510 --> 00:13:43,713 And Jesus put forth his hand and the leper was cured. 384 00:13:44,113 --> 00:13:47,136 So what miracles have you experienced in your lives? 385 00:13:47,137 --> 00:13:49,304 And please, nobody say their kids, okay? 386 00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:52,641 One time, I saw Lily Tomlin in an airport. 387 00:13:52,643 --> 00:13:54,142 I mean, it looked like her. I don't know. 388 00:13:54,144 --> 00:13:56,411 Hey, what's going on over here? 389 00:13:56,413 --> 00:13:59,748 Oh, nothing. Just having a little employee Bible study. 390 00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:01,032 Would you care to join us? 391 00:14:01,033 --> 00:14:03,108 You could probably use some guidance. 392 00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:04,920 Ha-ha, well, can't we all? 393 00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:06,989 - Mm-hmm. - But, uh, no. 394 00:14:06,991 --> 00:14:09,801 Unfortunately, there's no religious gatherings allowed 395 00:14:09,802 --> 00:14:11,291 during company time, 396 00:14:11,316 --> 00:14:13,765 so everyone has to get back to work. 397 00:14:13,766 --> 00:14:14,792 Wow. 398 00:14:14,793 --> 00:14:17,966 So first Amy throws a man of the cloth out of the store, 399 00:14:17,968 --> 00:14:20,068 and now we're not even allowed to talk about the Bible. 400 00:14:20,070 --> 00:14:21,903 And we can't say "Merry Christmas" anymore. 401 00:14:21,905 --> 00:14:23,705 Shut up, Earl. This isn't about that. 402 00:14:23,707 --> 00:14:26,232 Glenn, can we speak privately, please? 403 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,743 I don't know. Can we? 404 00:14:27,745 --> 00:14:30,952 Okay. Glenn, I know you're having some issues 405 00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,581 with not being in charge anymore, 406 00:14:32,583 --> 00:14:33,882 and so you're lashing out at me. 407 00:14:33,884 --> 00:14:35,817 And I'm trying to be very cool about it, 408 00:14:35,819 --> 00:14:38,920 but I can't keep doing that because it makes me look bad, 409 00:14:38,922 --> 00:14:42,691 so I am asking you politely. Please knock it off. 410 00:14:42,693 --> 00:14:43,951 - Okay? - Fine. 411 00:14:45,029 --> 00:14:47,211 But I have three minutes left on my break. 412 00:14:47,236 --> 00:14:49,171 Am I allowed to talk about anything? 413 00:14:49,172 --> 00:14:51,099 Yes. Obviously you can talk. 414 00:14:51,101 --> 00:14:51,861 Fine. 415 00:14:52,436 --> 00:14:54,801 I'm gonna talk about, um... 416 00:14:55,606 --> 00:14:58,106 - John Cusack. - Knock yourself out. 417 00:14:58,108 --> 00:15:01,126 Because John Cusack died for our sins, 418 00:15:01,151 --> 00:15:03,545 which is why we worship John Cusack, 419 00:15:03,547 --> 00:15:06,515 King of the Jews. Okay, that is it, Glenn! 420 00:15:06,517 --> 00:15:09,502 You need to stop being a whiny, 421 00:15:09,527 --> 00:15:11,586 snotty little baby man 422 00:15:11,588 --> 00:15:14,289 and get back to work, or I'm going to write you up! 423 00:15:14,291 --> 00:15:15,790 Do you understand me? 424 00:15:16,455 --> 00:15:18,460 I said, "Do you understand me?" 425 00:15:18,462 --> 00:15:19,795 - Yes... - What? 426 00:15:19,797 --> 00:15:21,930 - Yes. I said yes. - Good. 427 00:15:28,906 --> 00:15:31,573 I liked "High Fidelity," but I'm not sure 428 00:15:31,575 --> 00:15:33,942 how it holds up post MeToo. 429 00:15:36,113 --> 00:15:37,913 All right, everybody. Let's show pollution 430 00:15:37,915 --> 00:15:39,714 what we think about it. 431 00:15:40,984 --> 00:15:43,718 Oh, yeah. Really good job, everybody. 432 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,821 Can we take it again? I forgot to cover my chin 433 00:15:45,823 --> 00:15:47,789 with my hand the way Barbra Streisand always does. 434 00:15:47,791 --> 00:15:49,991 - Okay. - How is this doing anything? 435 00:15:49,993 --> 00:15:51,827 They're just posing for selfies 436 00:15:51,829 --> 00:15:53,228 and then congratulating themselves. 437 00:15:53,230 --> 00:15:55,297 Yeah, dude. That's what Instagram is. 438 00:15:55,299 --> 00:15:56,832 - It's just dumb. - Hmm. 439 00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:59,301 It almost seems like you want to be in charge. 440 00:15:59,303 --> 00:16:00,769 That's not what I meant. 441 00:16:00,771 --> 00:16:02,838 Look, man, I get it. It's hard. 442 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,407 One day you're on top of the world, winning Grammys, 443 00:16:05,409 --> 00:16:06,842 performing Live Aid, 444 00:16:06,844 --> 00:16:08,729 forcing your music onto people's iPhones... 445 00:16:08,754 --> 00:16:10,245 I'm not Bono! 446 00:16:10,247 --> 00:16:11,780 Okay, okay. What if we did, like, 447 00:16:11,782 --> 00:16:13,181 a Jimmy Kimmel kind of thing 448 00:16:13,183 --> 00:16:15,083 where we call people and we tell them 449 00:16:15,085 --> 00:16:16,685 that their kids are dead? But then we're like, 450 00:16:16,687 --> 00:16:19,020 "Just kidding. But they will be in 50 years 451 00:16:19,022 --> 00:16:21,523 if we don't take action against climate change." 452 00:16:21,525 --> 00:16:24,916 Yes, I love it. Such a good idea. 453 00:16:28,143 --> 00:16:29,303 Knock-knock. 454 00:16:29,833 --> 00:16:32,200 Heard that Amy came down pretty hard on you. 455 00:16:32,202 --> 00:16:33,802 Yeah, I bet you loved that, huh? 456 00:16:33,804 --> 00:16:36,037 What? Oh, come on. Give me some credit. 457 00:16:36,039 --> 00:16:37,873 I know we've had our issues over the years, 458 00:16:37,875 --> 00:16:40,542 but I hate to see you brought down like that. 459 00:16:40,544 --> 00:16:42,036 You think that's fun for me? 460 00:16:42,212 --> 00:16:44,546 - You're smiling. - I'm always smiling. 461 00:16:44,548 --> 00:16:46,148 I'm a happy person. 462 00:16:46,150 --> 00:16:48,378 And I know what you're going through, okay? 463 00:16:48,544 --> 00:16:50,977 I can only imagine how hard it is that someone 464 00:16:50,978 --> 00:16:53,688 that you took under your wing like a father and daughter 465 00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,124 would just rip into you like that. 466 00:16:56,409 --> 00:16:58,340 I mean, that's got to be a gut punch. 467 00:16:59,066 --> 00:17:00,395 What does it feel like? 468 00:17:00,397 --> 00:17:02,397 What? What? 469 00:17:02,399 --> 00:17:03,153 Just that... 470 00:17:03,575 --> 00:17:06,401 total, complete, all-encompassing impotence. 471 00:17:06,403 --> 00:17:08,403 - You think I'm impotent? - I don't. 472 00:17:08,405 --> 00:17:09,905 Oh... oh, no. Hold up! 473 00:17:09,907 --> 00:17:12,240 I will show you exactly how impotent I am. 474 00:17:12,242 --> 00:17:13,909 - I'm gonna do something. - Go. You should do it. 475 00:17:13,911 --> 00:17:15,374 - I'm gonna do something! - Yeah, do it, Glenn! 476 00:17:15,399 --> 00:17:16,565 - I'm doing it! - Do it, Glenn! 477 00:17:16,590 --> 00:17:17,327 I'm doing it! 478 00:17:18,849 --> 00:17:20,226 This doesn't concern you. 479 00:17:20,991 --> 00:17:21,977 Gotcha. 480 00:17:23,854 --> 00:17:26,354 I get that there's value to spreading awareness 481 00:17:26,356 --> 00:17:28,690 and getting the word out. I'm not opposed to that, 482 00:17:28,692 --> 00:17:30,091 but that can't just be all you do. 483 00:17:30,093 --> 00:17:31,993 That's just posturing. You know, there's... 484 00:17:31,995 --> 00:17:33,228 there's the kind of people who do things, 485 00:17:33,230 --> 00:17:34,896 and then there's the kind of people 486 00:17:34,898 --> 00:17:36,264 who talk about doing things. 487 00:17:36,266 --> 00:17:38,257 - And you're both of those? - Exactly. 488 00:17:39,002 --> 00:17:40,902 - Well... - Attention, shoppers. 489 00:17:40,904 --> 00:17:42,737 I would like to read to you from a book 490 00:17:42,739 --> 00:17:45,607 that was recently banned from the store by management. 491 00:17:45,609 --> 00:17:47,776 What is this? What is happening? 492 00:17:47,778 --> 00:17:49,177 Proverbs 10:22 says, 493 00:17:49,179 --> 00:17:50,579 "The blessings of the Lord make you rich." 494 00:17:50,581 --> 00:17:51,947 Glenn, stop it! Open the door! 495 00:17:51,949 --> 00:17:54,282 Wanna know the best-kept secret of the Bible? 496 00:17:54,284 --> 00:17:57,018 "All the riches of the Lord make you blessed, 497 00:17:57,020 --> 00:17:58,887 - but I never feel"... - Wow. 498 00:17:58,889 --> 00:18:01,056 He is having an epic meltdown. 499 00:18:01,058 --> 00:18:02,791 "Through the window of my jet, 500 00:18:02,793 --> 00:18:05,894 a Cessna Citation CJ4." 501 00:18:05,896 --> 00:18:07,796 I'm not kidding. You need to stop this 502 00:18:07,798 --> 00:18:09,197 or I'm going to have to write you up. 503 00:18:09,199 --> 00:18:10,382 "So let us praise him in a way that pays him." 504 00:18:10,383 --> 00:18:11,058 Glenn! 505 00:18:14,705 --> 00:18:17,939 This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine 506 00:18:17,941 --> 00:18:19,608 What am I supposed to do about this? 507 00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:22,077 - I'll get the battering ram. - We have a battering ram? 508 00:18:22,079 --> 00:18:23,144 Better to have it and not need it 509 00:18:23,146 --> 00:18:24,613 than need it and not have it. 510 00:18:24,615 --> 00:18:26,815 This little light of mine 511 00:18:26,817 --> 00:18:28,650 I'm gonna let it shine 512 00:18:28,652 --> 00:18:31,920 Let it shine, let it shine, let it sh... 513 00:18:32,995 --> 00:18:36,432 Name: Glenn Sturgis. 514 00:18:37,025 --> 00:18:40,602 Violations: Disruption within the store. 515 00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:44,346 Outward display of religion. 516 00:18:44,782 --> 00:18:46,311 Insubordination. 517 00:18:46,336 --> 00:18:48,161 "Insubordination." 518 00:18:48,581 --> 00:18:49,385 That's you. 519 00:18:49,386 --> 00:18:51,372 I don't like having to write you up. 520 00:18:51,793 --> 00:18:54,507 - You're forcing me to do this. - I don't care! 521 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,140 'Cause I'm writing you up too, 522 00:18:56,141 --> 00:18:59,263 and my boss doesn't send you to the unemployment line. 523 00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:00,521 He sends you to hell. 524 00:19:01,568 --> 00:19:02,893 That was too far. I'm sorry. 525 00:19:02,894 --> 00:19:06,037 Come on, Glenn. Don't make me send this in. 526 00:19:06,038 --> 00:19:08,758 Just... it's not too late. Please? 527 00:19:08,759 --> 00:19:11,762 Look, just tell me that this is never gonna happen again 528 00:19:11,787 --> 00:19:13,854 and we can forget the whole thing. 529 00:19:17,859 --> 00:19:18,577 Okay. 530 00:19:19,507 --> 00:19:20,748 "Submit." 531 00:19:23,338 --> 00:19:24,832 Ugh. It's not going through. 532 00:19:26,061 --> 00:19:27,733 Stinks for you up the wazoo. 533 00:19:28,803 --> 00:19:30,371 What is wrong with this thing? 534 00:19:31,766 --> 00:19:34,976 - Are you logged in as Admin? - Yes, obviously. 535 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,772 Well, sometimes it helps to uncheck all the boxes 536 00:19:39,774 --> 00:19:41,674 and then check them again. I don't know why it does that. 537 00:19:41,676 --> 00:19:45,679 You mean, like, clear all or manually uncheck each box? 538 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:46,876 No, I mean like... 539 00:19:47,715 --> 00:19:49,816 Okay, well, first of all, you got the wrong violation 540 00:19:49,818 --> 00:19:50,969 from the pull down menu. 541 00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:52,821 What? I thought I selected the right one. 542 00:19:52,822 --> 00:19:54,089 Yeah, but sometimes if you hit a key 543 00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:56,789 it accidentally resets. Just start over. 544 00:19:56,791 --> 00:19:59,358 - Okay. - "Glenn Sturgis." 545 00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:02,328 So we will start with just this store but eventually 546 00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:04,697 we'll recruit employees from other stores, 547 00:20:04,699 --> 00:20:06,199 and it just builds from there. 548 00:20:06,201 --> 00:20:08,954 So it could go national or even international. 549 00:20:09,537 --> 00:20:12,471 - Or past that. - Um, yeah. 550 00:20:12,473 --> 00:20:13,942 So whatcha guys doing over here? 551 00:20:13,943 --> 00:20:15,708 We're starting an environmental group. 552 00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:18,612 - The Green Posse. - We haven't settled on that. 553 00:20:18,613 --> 00:20:19,761 So kind of like Cheyenne's group? 554 00:20:19,762 --> 00:20:22,648 Well, yes, but there is room 555 00:20:22,650 --> 00:20:24,281 for more than one group, you know? 556 00:20:24,282 --> 00:20:26,943 There's plenty of work to be done, and we are a little more 557 00:20:26,944 --> 00:20:28,574 about taking direct action, you know? 558 00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:29,615 Getting our hands dirty. 559 00:20:29,616 --> 00:20:30,934 Let me guess. Jonah's in charge? 560 00:20:30,935 --> 00:20:32,776 No, no, no, no. I mean... 561 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:36,195 We're... it's more of, like, a collective action 562 00:20:36,197 --> 00:20:38,462 - kind of a thing. - You said you were in charge. 563 00:20:38,463 --> 00:20:40,273 Yeah... yeah, I did. 564 00:20:40,274 --> 00:20:42,871 But I... but I... but that's... I said that because 565 00:20:42,872 --> 00:20:44,904 somebody, you know, has to be in charge, 566 00:20:44,906 --> 00:20:47,340 and I'm kind of like the... I'm the reluctant leader. 567 00:20:47,342 --> 00:20:48,808 - You know, it could be anybody. - I'll do it. 568 00:20:48,809 --> 00:20:49,720 Absolutely not. 569 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,205 What do you do when an employee wants to change 570 00:20:52,206 --> 00:20:54,213 - their emergency contact info? - Don't tell me. 571 00:20:54,215 --> 00:20:55,848 Justine's fighting with her mom again? 572 00:20:55,850 --> 00:20:58,023 Yes. They have a really complicated relationship. 573 00:20:58,024 --> 00:21:00,720 They are the strangest pair. Have you met her sisters? 574 00:21:00,722 --> 00:21:01,638 - No. - They are... 575 00:21:01,663 --> 00:21:02,919 Don't tell me Justine's the normal one. 576 00:21:02,944 --> 00:21:04,498 No, Justine's the normal one. 577 00:21:04,601 --> 00:21:06,688 Aww, that's nice. 578 00:21:06,689 --> 00:21:07,896 Looks like they patched things up. 579 00:21:07,897 --> 00:21:08,822 It's not nice. 580 00:21:08,823 --> 00:21:10,672 You have no idea what nice is, idiot! 581 00:21:11,255 --> 00:21:12,255 What the... 582 00:21:13,513 --> 00:21:20,953 Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com