1
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D'oh!

2
00:00:30,522 --> 00:00:35,821
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -

3
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My Three Kids.

4
00:00:48,184 --> 00:00:50,317
Everyone, out of my kitchen!

5
00:00:52,488 --> 00:00:56,223
Brandine, do I come off
as a yokel or a hayseed?

6
00:00:56,259 --> 00:00:57,914
Well, you are versatile, darlin'.

7
00:00:57,939 --> 00:01:00,494
You can play anyone
in the trailer trash spectrum.

8
00:01:00,530 --> 00:01:04,064
A-yeah, I'm a regular
Benedict Cabbage-Patch.

9
00:01:05,301 --> 00:01:07,401
Meow!

10
00:01:07,436 --> 00:01:09,436
Community thespians,

11
00:01:09,472 --> 00:01:13,207
today we return
to turn-of-the-century Oklahoma.

12
00:01:13,242 --> 00:01:15,476
Farm boys are farming.
Cowboys are cowing.

13
00:01:15,511 --> 00:01:18,312
And, Carl, do you think
your character Ike Skidmore

14
00:01:18,347 --> 00:01:21,549
is bringing his cell phone
to the box social in 1906?

15
00:01:21,584 --> 00:01:23,551
I see him as a forward-thinking guy,

16
00:01:23,586 --> 00:01:25,452
a tech first adopter.

17
00:01:25,591 --> 00:01:28,625
You know how I see him?
Not played by you!

18
00:01:28,661 --> 00:01:31,361
Lenny, get yourself
out of that horse's patoot.

19
00:01:31,397 --> 00:01:32,562
You're Ike Skidmore.

20
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Yee-haw! A speaking part!

21
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This is gonna be tan-fastic.

22
00:01:37,303 --> 00:01:40,437
Geez, don't make it
into a song and dance.

23
00:01:40,472 --> 00:01:43,473
? I've got spurs that
jingle, jangle, jing... ?

24
00:01:44,643 --> 00:01:47,137
My spur's stuck in my eye!

25
00:01:47,177 --> 00:01:48,510
Carl, you're back in.

26
00:01:48,545 --> 00:01:50,278
Well, only with Lenny's blessing.

27
00:01:50,314 --> 00:01:52,581
- You don't have it.
- I'm doing it anyway.

28
00:01:52,616 --> 00:01:56,318
Okay, Marge, this is
your big song number.

29
00:01:56,353 --> 00:01:59,454
You're Ado Annie,
the girl who cain't say no.

30
00:01:59,489 --> 00:02:02,390
Now, do you have any qualms
about playing this part?

31
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- No.
- Wrong, wrong! You cain't say no.

32
00:02:06,129 --> 00:02:07,429
Now, where's my handsome Curly?

33
00:02:07,464 --> 00:02:09,164
Right here.

34
00:02:09,199 --> 00:02:12,133
Now, this I can work with.

35
00:02:12,169 --> 00:02:13,235
Okay, Maggie,

36
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what shall we do while Mommy rehearses?

37
00:02:15,172 --> 00:02:16,471
The dog track is closed.

38
00:02:16,506 --> 00:02:18,240
You can come visit me!

39
00:02:18,275 --> 00:02:19,474
I didn't hear that.

40
00:02:19,509 --> 00:02:22,110
Hmm, what shall we do?

41
00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:25,180
Why is this place so popular?

42
00:02:25,215 --> 00:02:27,515
Do they serve booze?
Is it a baby fight club?

43
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Is there a big-screen TV?

44
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Do they serve booze?
Are there free doughnuts?

45
00:02:31,588 --> 00:02:33,154
Meet Batman?

46
00:02:33,190 --> 00:02:34,489
Do they serve booze?

47
00:02:34,524 --> 00:02:36,491
We're going to find out.

48
00:02:36,526 --> 00:02:39,527
Why in the hell
is Daddy and Me class packed?

49
00:02:39,563 --> 00:02:43,498
You'll understand everything
when Chloe comes out.

50
00:02:43,533 --> 00:02:45,400
Quiet, quiet, she's coming.

51
00:02:45,435 --> 00:02:47,369
I borrowed my granddaughter
just for this.

52
00:02:47,404 --> 00:02:49,404
I said I was taking her
to feed the ducks.

53
00:02:49,439 --> 00:02:51,406
Like I have bread money.

54
00:02:51,441 --> 00:02:52,474
Hi, dads.

55
00:02:52,509 --> 00:02:55,343
Who's ready to do the wiggle worm dance?

56
00:02:55,379 --> 00:02:57,545
I vant to viggle like the vorm, ja.

57
00:03:05,322 --> 00:03:09,124
Oh, I get it, she's sexy.

58
00:03:10,527 --> 00:03:12,360
Maggie! How long have you been here?

59
00:03:15,299 --> 00:03:18,166
Why does this line say "Curt"
when I'm talking to Curly?

60
00:03:18,201 --> 00:03:21,169
No, you see, "curt" is in parentheses.

61
00:03:21,204 --> 00:03:23,371
It tells you how to say the line.

62
00:03:23,407 --> 00:03:25,540
Obviously lying... yeah, no, I knew that.

63
00:03:25,575 --> 00:03:29,177
Impressed noise.
You really know your stuff.

64
00:03:29,212 --> 00:03:30,345
Okay, actors,

65
00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:32,314
in the words of William Shakespeare,

66
00:03:32,349 --> 00:03:34,316
find your "X" and shut up.

67
00:03:34,351 --> 00:03:36,184
Geez, all right, easy.

68
00:03:36,219 --> 00:03:39,521
All I ask is that
you give me the performance

69
00:03:39,556 --> 00:03:43,458
I have pictured in my head but
have not communicated to you.

70
00:03:43,493 --> 00:03:46,561
Our curtain opens on sun-drenched fields

71
00:03:46,596 --> 00:03:50,098
of undulating golden corn.

72
00:03:50,133 --> 00:03:52,367
? O... ?

73
00:03:52,402 --> 00:03:55,103
Stop, stop, stop!

74
00:03:55,138 --> 00:03:56,538
This set is terrible.

75
00:03:56,573 --> 00:03:59,574
That corn isn't as high
as an elephant's eye.

76
00:03:59,609 --> 00:04:02,377
Oh, you wanted the corn to be high.

77
00:04:02,412 --> 00:04:05,280
I have never seen
such incompetence and idiocy

78
00:04:05,315 --> 00:04:06,381
in a theater.

79
00:04:06,416 --> 00:04:09,150
You have made me hate you all.

80
00:04:09,186 --> 00:04:12,153
Excuse my salty language
in front of Aunt Eller,

81
00:04:12,189 --> 00:04:13,488
but why don't you just take a hike?

82
00:04:13,523 --> 00:04:15,490
Oh.

83
00:04:15,525 --> 00:04:17,258
Get lost.

84
00:04:20,097 --> 00:04:22,230
Losing temper, we don't want you here.

85
00:04:22,265 --> 00:04:25,533
Turns to cast, I saved the play.

86
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:28,336
Marge, surely you want me to stay.

87
00:04:28,372 --> 00:04:30,138
Actually, no.

88
00:04:30,173 --> 00:04:34,442
For the last time, that's
the one word you cain't say.

89
00:04:34,478 --> 00:04:36,544
This is mine. I brought it from home.

90
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,213
Now what do we do?

91
00:04:38,248 --> 00:04:41,149
I learned-a to speak
like-a the Oklahoma for this?

92
00:04:41,184 --> 00:04:43,418
Con-a sarn it.

93
00:04:46,156 --> 00:04:49,090
Everyone, stop, just stop.

94
00:04:49,126 --> 00:04:50,258
Chief, no more gunplay.

95
00:04:50,293 --> 00:04:52,260
But I wanna.

96
00:04:54,431 --> 00:04:57,265
Just listen to me!

97
00:04:57,300 --> 00:05:00,101
What if I directed the play?

98
00:05:00,137 --> 00:05:03,171
Hey, that's a good idea. I mean,
she directs Homer and the kids

99
00:05:03,206 --> 00:05:04,472
out of the house every morning.

100
00:05:04,508 --> 00:05:06,374
And I direct traffic.

101
00:05:06,410 --> 00:05:08,143
That's a stupid analogy.

102
00:05:08,178 --> 00:05:10,512
I think Marge makes us all
feel good about ourselves.

103
00:05:10,547 --> 00:05:13,148
Mmm.

104
00:05:13,183 --> 00:05:15,116
Yelling in unison.

105
00:05:15,152 --> 00:05:18,386
Marge! Marge! Marge! Yay!

106
00:05:18,422 --> 00:05:22,057
Wait a minute, if this
is a real gun, where's the prop?

107
00:05:22,092 --> 00:05:24,159
Poor Lou.

108
00:05:24,194 --> 00:05:26,061
All right, you asked for it.

109
00:05:26,096 --> 00:05:29,130
Uh, wh-wh-who wants
Oklahoma! tickets? Front row.

110
00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:31,571
I can get you three together.

111
00:05:37,727 --> 00:05:40,364
This is a really complicated show.

112
00:05:40,419 --> 00:05:41,551
So much gingham.

113
00:05:41,587 --> 00:05:44,287
We need a show
that we can actually pull off

114
00:05:44,323 --> 00:05:45,389
in Springfield.

115
00:05:45,424 --> 00:05:48,558
Small cast, simple sets,
and some hip-hop,

116
00:05:48,594 --> 00:05:50,360
but not real hip-hop.

117
00:05:50,396 --> 00:05:52,429
Great, but I got to be someplace,

118
00:05:52,464 --> 00:05:54,531
so, real quick,
the best kind of original show

119
00:05:54,566 --> 00:05:57,300
is one that rips off a big hit.
What's the biggest hit?

120
00:05:57,336 --> 00:05:58,435
Hellzapoppin'!

121
00:05:58,470 --> 00:06:01,438
No, Hamilton by Lin-Manuel Miranda.

122
00:06:01,473 --> 00:06:03,206
Oh, the guy from In the Heights.

123
00:06:03,242 --> 00:06:05,575
Now, how did I know that? I'm back!

124
00:06:05,611 --> 00:06:08,612
All right, who's our Alexander Hamilton?

125
00:06:08,647 --> 00:06:12,282
That would be me.
Thanks to this furnace filter,

126
00:06:12,317 --> 00:06:15,552
you won't be saying "burr" anymore.

127
00:06:15,587 --> 00:06:20,257
No, our most famous historical figure...

128
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:22,325
Jebediah Springfield!

129
00:06:22,361 --> 00:06:25,395
I'll write a musical biography,
warts and all.

130
00:06:25,431 --> 00:06:27,364
I can't see how that could fail.

131
00:06:27,399 --> 00:06:30,333
Now I'm in a hurry... Maggie
and I have a Daddy and Me class.

132
00:06:30,369 --> 00:06:31,701
Aren't you forgetting something?

133
00:06:31,737 --> 00:06:34,371
Keys, wallet, I don't think so.

134
00:06:34,406 --> 00:06:36,673
Oh, sure. I'm happy to take Maggie.

135
00:06:36,708 --> 00:06:38,508
You sure like that class.

136
00:06:38,544 --> 00:06:42,446
Oh, uh, some dads just love
to be with their little girls.

137
00:06:42,481 --> 00:06:44,548
- Can I go?
- Sorry, no.

138
00:06:44,583 --> 00:06:47,317
"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

139
00:06:47,352 --> 00:06:48,618
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall."

140
00:06:48,654 --> 00:06:50,320
Oh...

141
00:06:50,355 --> 00:06:53,657
Poor little eggy, leaking your goo.

142
00:06:53,692 --> 00:06:58,328
The Red Queen's not looking,
I'll kiss your boo-boo.

143
00:06:58,363 --> 00:07:01,231
Humpty J. Dumpty,
are you eating yourself?

144
00:07:01,266 --> 00:07:03,233
Maybe.

145
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,540
Excuse me, excuse me, pal.
Take care of your kid.

146
00:07:12,377 --> 00:07:14,377
I-I'm so sorry. I was just...

147
00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:16,446
Yeah, I know what you were just.

148
00:07:16,482 --> 00:07:17,614
Let's see...

149
00:07:17,649 --> 00:07:21,318
killed a bear, founded a town,
died of a beaver bite.

150
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:22,419
Lis, you're gonna love it.

151
00:07:22,454 --> 00:07:24,194
I came up with the perfect opening.

152
00:07:24,219 --> 00:07:26,232
Okay...

153
00:07:26,257 --> 00:07:28,558
? Lisa is so stupid,
so very, very stupid ?

154
00:07:28,594 --> 00:07:32,395
? So dumb and stupid and smelly, too ?

155
00:07:32,431 --> 00:07:35,565
? She has a real bad temper,
a bad, bad temper ?

156
00:07:35,601 --> 00:07:38,502
? And she's smelly, too! ?

157
00:07:38,537 --> 00:07:40,504
You're just motivating me.

158
00:07:40,539 --> 00:07:42,372
I need to finish this.

159
00:07:43,742 --> 00:07:46,343
Ah, my muse.

160
00:07:47,412 --> 00:07:48,512
Okay,

161
00:07:48,547 --> 00:07:50,647
my first day as director.

162
00:07:50,682 --> 00:07:53,250
So hard to dress for respect.

163
00:07:53,285 --> 00:07:57,254
No. No.

164
00:07:57,289 --> 00:07:59,256
No.

165
00:07:59,291 --> 00:08:00,624
Got it.

166
00:08:07,599 --> 00:08:09,466
Hey-a, buddy, what'll it be?

167
00:08:09,501 --> 00:08:11,234
Moe, it's me.

168
00:08:11,270 --> 00:08:13,403
Midge! I thought it was Hillary Clinton.

169
00:08:13,438 --> 00:08:15,238
Give me a vodka, straight up.

170
00:08:15,274 --> 00:08:17,207
Are you sure you're not Hillary?

171
00:08:18,477 --> 00:08:22,245
Our new production will be
Bloody Bloody Jebediah,

172
00:08:22,281 --> 00:08:24,648
a hip-hop musical
about our city's founder.

173
00:08:24,683 --> 00:08:26,550
Is it respectful?

174
00:08:26,585 --> 00:08:28,251
Not entirely.

175
00:08:28,287 --> 00:08:29,386
What?!

176
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,488
Why don't we start
by going around the circle

177
00:08:31,523 --> 00:08:33,323
and saying what parts we're playing.

178
00:08:33,358 --> 00:08:34,658
I'm Marge, the director.

179
00:08:34,693 --> 00:08:36,660
Luann, Jebediah's wife.

180
00:08:36,695 --> 00:08:41,264
Carl, Quarrelsome Settler. I got
a bone to pick with this part.

181
00:08:41,300 --> 00:08:42,666
Beautiful, use it. Next.

182
00:08:42,701 --> 00:08:45,635
Lenny, Mayor of Shelbyville
and an ostrich.

183
00:08:49,741 --> 00:08:52,442
Frink, tech crew. Always crew.

184
00:08:52,477 --> 00:08:55,579
Hollywood only lets in
one Bill Nye in a generation.

185
00:08:55,614 --> 00:08:57,681
With the nerdy and the hoyvik

186
00:08:57,716 --> 00:09:00,617
and the reference only I understand.

187
00:09:00,652 --> 00:09:04,487
And, of course, our incredible
star, Sideshow Mel.

188
00:09:04,523 --> 00:09:06,556
Finally not a sidekick.

189
00:09:06,592 --> 00:09:09,259
This is my time to shine.

190
00:09:09,294 --> 00:09:11,461
Your first line is on page 37.

191
00:09:11,496 --> 00:09:12,562
What?!

192
00:09:12,598 --> 00:09:15,365
? Yo, Jebediah survived the pox ?

193
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:16,633
? Never used clocks ?

194
00:09:16,668 --> 00:09:18,668
? Didn't wear socks,
that's what we learned ?

195
00:09:18,704 --> 00:09:22,272
? From examining his docs,
and now the mic drops. ?

196
00:09:22,307 --> 00:09:23,440
Boom, et cetera.

197
00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:25,442
Krusty, what's wrong?

198
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:27,544
It's happened... the worst possible thing

199
00:09:27,579 --> 00:09:29,646
that can happen to a performer.

200
00:09:29,681 --> 00:09:31,214
What do you mean?

201
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:32,549
I'm in an article entitled,

202
00:09:32,584 --> 00:09:34,284
"Where Are They Now?"

203
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:39,117
Right above Judd Nelson and New Coke.

204
00:09:39,142 --> 00:09:41,258
I'll tell you where Judd Nelson is.

205
00:09:41,293 --> 00:09:43,660
He's on my show tonight.

206
00:09:46,531 --> 00:09:49,171
Ah. Fantastic!

207
00:09:49,196 --> 00:09:50,600
What's that thing you were doing?

208
00:09:50,636 --> 00:09:54,371
Oh, uh, local theater.
You wouldn't be interested.

209
00:09:54,406 --> 00:09:56,606
Hey, I'm a performer, an artist,

210
00:09:56,642 --> 00:09:59,309
which means I'm always
interested in money.

211
00:09:59,344 --> 00:10:02,312
Live theater is the only thing
getting ratings these days.

212
00:10:02,347 --> 00:10:03,380
Who owns the rights?

213
00:10:03,415 --> 00:10:06,283
A Mrs. Marge Simpson.

214
00:10:06,318 --> 00:10:09,486
Oh, really?
Let's see what kind of bargain

215
00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:12,289
Mrs. Marge Simpson drives.

216
00:10:13,558 --> 00:10:15,659
So you'll get 80% of the profits

217
00:10:15,694 --> 00:10:18,628
while I get foreign distribution
rights in Venezuela

218
00:10:18,664 --> 00:10:20,563
for a window of three weeks.

219
00:10:23,335 --> 00:10:26,403
So my little show's gonna be on TV live?

220
00:10:26,438 --> 00:10:28,672
Yep. This is the first time
a woman has signed something

221
00:10:28,707 --> 00:10:31,441
with me where I didn't lose
custody of something.

222
00:10:31,476 --> 00:10:33,276
So where will we stage it?

223
00:10:33,312 --> 00:10:35,679
Outside, where the lighting is free.

224
00:10:35,714 --> 00:10:37,580
Ooh, are you sure that's not risky?

225
00:10:37,616 --> 00:10:40,750
Well, some would say I'm taking
a risk with an original play

226
00:10:40,786 --> 00:10:45,355
and a first-time director, but
show business is based on risks.

227
00:10:45,390 --> 00:10:47,724
Risks and comic books. Excuse me.

228
00:10:49,728 --> 00:10:53,630
So, Marge, are you ready
to beg me to come back?

229
00:10:53,665 --> 00:10:57,300
Actually, Llewellyn,
we're doing fine on our own.

230
00:10:57,336 --> 00:11:00,303
No need to grovel. You don't
actually have to say anything.

231
00:11:00,339 --> 00:11:01,438
Okay, fine, I'll come back.

232
00:11:01,473 --> 00:11:03,473
No one's asking you to come back.

233
00:11:03,508 --> 00:11:06,170
You know what? Just for that,
I won't come back.

234
00:11:06,195 --> 00:11:07,216
Fine.

235
00:11:07,217 --> 00:11:09,662
Please, I'm begging you, take me back.

236
00:11:10,716 --> 00:11:13,249
All right, but beware,

237
00:11:13,285 --> 00:11:15,685
hell hath no fury
like a director scorned.

238
00:11:15,721 --> 00:11:17,420
Now, if you'll excuse me,

239
00:11:17,456 --> 00:11:20,290
I have to sneak my headshot
onto the wall.

240
00:11:20,325 --> 00:11:22,459
And poof.

241
00:11:22,494 --> 00:11:23,727
You're flushed, Plummer.

242
00:11:23,762 --> 00:11:26,363
I hired you to bus tables.

243
00:11:30,469 --> 00:11:33,703
- Hmm?
- I'm researching a role.

244
00:11:39,411 --> 00:11:42,379
Now, Mom, before you go
into that production meeting,

245
00:11:42,414 --> 00:11:46,316
I want to pass along a quote
from F. Scott Fitzgerald.

246
00:11:46,351 --> 00:11:50,320
"Great art is the contempt
of a great woman for small art."

247
00:11:50,355 --> 00:11:53,323
He actually said "man," but he'd
have wanted me to change it.

248
00:11:53,358 --> 00:11:55,492
Didn't he also say, "Show me a hero

249
00:11:55,527 --> 00:11:57,660
and I'll write you a tragedy"?

250
00:11:57,696 --> 00:12:00,563
Yes, but he also said,

251
00:12:00,599 --> 00:12:03,533
"Never confuse a single defeat
with a final defeat."

252
00:12:03,568 --> 00:12:05,368
But didn't he also say,

253
00:12:05,404 --> 00:12:08,304
"There are no second acts
in American lives"?

254
00:12:08,340 --> 00:12:10,306
Just get in the meeting!

255
00:12:10,342 --> 00:12:12,409
The bagels are getting hard.

256
00:12:16,748 --> 00:12:19,382
There's my Jebediah.

257
00:12:19,418 --> 00:12:21,651
Marge, I'm leaving the show

258
00:12:21,686 --> 00:12:24,354
to fulfill a lifelong dream...

259
00:12:24,389 --> 00:12:26,723
playing Prospero in The Tempest.

260
00:12:26,758 --> 00:12:28,525
You can't quit now.

261
00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:30,360
We're live in three days.

262
00:12:30,395 --> 00:12:32,362
We have no understudy.

263
00:12:32,397 --> 00:12:36,299
And you were gonna bring
the edibles for the wrap party.

264
00:12:36,334 --> 00:12:38,301
Not my problem.

265
00:12:38,336 --> 00:12:40,737
There's nothing I enjoy more
than watching a director

266
00:12:40,772 --> 00:12:44,407
trying to talk an actor out
of leaving for a better part.

267
00:12:44,443 --> 00:12:47,518
Dramatic twist!

268
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:53,996
? Sing a song of sixpence,
a pocketful of rye ?

269
00:12:54,021 --> 00:12:57,723
? Four and 20 blackbirds
baked in a pie. ?

270
00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:01,827
Stay in there, you stupid blackbirds!

271
00:13:03,518 --> 00:13:05,484
Darling, you're supposed
to kill the blackbirds

272
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,520
before you put them in the pie.

273
00:13:07,555 --> 00:13:09,622
Homie, Homie.

274
00:13:10,925 --> 00:13:12,858
- Homie. Homie.
- Blackbirds! Blackbirds!

275
00:13:12,894 --> 00:13:14,660
Homie, wake up.

276
00:13:14,696 --> 00:13:16,462
What are you dreaming about?

277
00:13:16,497 --> 00:13:17,897
Uh, Daddy and Me class.

278
00:13:17,932 --> 00:13:19,865
You are a great father.

279
00:13:19,901 --> 00:13:23,469
Oh, I wish I felt like a great director.

280
00:13:23,504 --> 00:13:25,705
Fine, if you want me to quit
the class, I'll do it.

281
00:13:25,740 --> 00:13:27,573
Who said anything about quitting?

282
00:13:27,608 --> 00:13:30,543
I've had enough people quit on me today.

283
00:13:30,578 --> 00:13:32,712
Marge, anyone who can raise
two girls and two boys

284
00:13:32,747 --> 00:13:34,613
the way you're doing can do anything.

285
00:13:34,649 --> 00:13:36,582
You're gonna make it.

286
00:13:37,518 --> 00:13:39,652
I've got a special announcement today.

287
00:13:39,687 --> 00:13:41,520
You're gonna wear the perfume
I bought you?

288
00:13:41,556 --> 00:13:42,655
Even better.

289
00:13:42,690 --> 00:13:44,490
Barry's divorce came through,

290
00:13:44,525 --> 00:13:46,892
so I'm able to leave this class
and marry him.

291
00:13:46,928 --> 00:13:49,662
Come on up, Barry.

292
00:13:51,499 --> 00:13:52,732
Later, losers.

293
00:13:52,767 --> 00:13:55,534
Barry's not sitting
cross-legged anymore.

294
00:13:55,570 --> 00:13:56,702
Uh, why him?

295
00:13:56,738 --> 00:13:58,504
Maybe I have the cutest baby.

296
00:13:58,539 --> 00:14:00,639
Or maybe the first words
I got her to say were

297
00:14:00,675 --> 00:14:02,508
"I love you, Chloe."

298
00:14:02,543 --> 00:14:04,710
I love you, Chloe.

299
00:14:04,746 --> 00:14:07,580
We sang "Wheels on the Bus" together.

300
00:14:07,615 --> 00:14:09,415
Well, that's it. Time to...

301
00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:11,650
Where's the baby I brought?

302
00:14:11,686 --> 00:14:15,621
Ah, geez. I won't be dating
her grandma anymore.

303
00:14:17,625 --> 00:14:19,725
So I guess we're not doing the class.

304
00:14:22,497 --> 00:14:26,499
Wait a minute, the part you
liked was spending time with me?

305
00:14:26,534 --> 00:14:30,503
Aw. Well, I'll always dance
with you, sweetie.

306
00:14:34,675 --> 00:14:36,642
Hmm?

307
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,448
Okay, no pressure,
but I need to find a new lead

308
00:14:42,483 --> 00:14:44,450
in the next 15 minutes.

309
00:14:44,485 --> 00:14:45,551
Preferably a name.

310
00:14:45,586 --> 00:14:47,453
Is Bumblebee Man available?

311
00:14:47,488 --> 00:14:49,622
No, he's playing Don Quixote
in Man of La Mancha.

312
00:14:49,657 --> 00:14:53,459
Damn it. Why is this town's
theater scene so vibrant?

313
00:14:53,494 --> 00:14:56,495
I'm here to audition
for the part of Macbeth.

314
00:14:56,531 --> 00:14:57,663
It's not Macbeth.

315
00:14:57,698 --> 00:14:59,498
- Is it Macduff?
- Not Macduff.

316
00:14:59,534 --> 00:15:01,767
Well, there's no other parts
worth playing!

317
00:15:01,803 --> 00:15:03,602
That's it. We're doomed.

318
00:15:03,638 --> 00:15:05,471
We'll just have a bake sale.

319
00:15:05,506 --> 00:15:06,772
Will you serve haggis?

320
00:15:06,808 --> 00:15:08,641
- No.
- I'm out.

321
00:15:08,676 --> 00:15:12,445
? A pioneer with no fear ?

322
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:14,447
? Shooting deer ?

323
00:15:14,482 --> 00:15:16,449
? On the frontier... ?

324
00:15:16,484 --> 00:15:17,750
Spotlight that singer.

325
00:15:17,785 --> 00:15:21,587
? And the crowds all cheer ?

326
00:15:21,622 --> 00:15:24,623
? Jebediah Springfield ?

327
00:15:24,659 --> 00:15:28,627
? Found the town right here. ?

328
00:15:28,663 --> 00:15:30,429
Yes, glavin, it's me,

329
00:15:30,465 --> 00:15:35,568
with the Gomer Pyle voice and
the unexpectedly good singing.

330
00:15:35,603 --> 00:15:36,643
You've got the part.

331
00:15:36,668 --> 00:15:37,713
? Thank you. ?

332
00:15:37,738 --> 00:15:38,871
Save your voice.

333
00:15:38,906 --> 00:15:41,874
All right, then.

334
00:15:43,744 --> 00:15:46,645
Marge, as your producer, I'm
gonna inform you of a problem,

335
00:15:46,681 --> 00:15:48,747
then blame you if you can't solve it.

336
00:15:48,783 --> 00:15:50,749
Now what?

337
00:15:50,785 --> 00:15:53,652
There's one thing a first-time
director cannot control.

338
00:15:53,688 --> 00:15:54,720
Bruce Willis?

339
00:15:54,755 --> 00:15:56,065
No, the weather.

340
00:15:56,090 --> 00:15:57,940
Marge, it's going to rain
during the show.

341
00:15:57,964 --> 00:15:59,111
How hard?

342
00:15:59,112 --> 00:16:02,761
Well, let's just say I hope you
liked the movie Waterworld.

343
00:16:02,797 --> 00:16:05,520
Ambitious, eh, but unsatisfying.

344
00:16:05,567 --> 00:16:07,533
You might want to consider canceling.

345
00:16:07,569 --> 00:16:10,503
I don't know much about showbiz,
but I know one thing:

346
00:16:10,538 --> 00:16:12,572
the show must go on.

347
00:16:12,607 --> 00:16:14,507
Huh? I never heard that before.

348
00:16:14,542 --> 00:16:16,609
Really? Well, tell me to break a leg.

349
00:16:16,644 --> 00:16:19,479
Why would I do that?
It's violent and cruel.

350
00:16:19,514 --> 00:16:21,714
Well... there's no business
like show business.

351
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,549
Nah, nah, now that's not true.

352
00:16:23,585 --> 00:16:24,717
Most show business companies

353
00:16:24,753 --> 00:16:27,387
are part of much larger conglomerates.

354
00:16:27,422 --> 00:16:29,355
Just get the hell out.

355
00:16:29,391 --> 00:16:31,257
That I've heard before.

356
00:16:33,361 --> 00:16:34,427
Hmm.

357
00:16:34,462 --> 00:16:36,496
Going live. Break a leg, everyone.

358
00:16:36,531 --> 00:16:38,498
- What?
- Why would you wish that?

359
00:16:38,533 --> 00:16:39,766
You're mean.

360
00:16:43,371 --> 00:16:45,405
? Let me tell you about a mystery ?

361
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:47,008
? Of our city's history ?

362
00:16:47,033 --> 00:16:48,508
? An out-of-towner was our founder ?

363
00:16:48,543 --> 00:16:50,443
? Despite his latent bigotry ?

364
00:16:50,478 --> 00:16:52,512
? How did this pioneer domineer ?

365
00:16:52,547 --> 00:16:55,348
? Persevere, then die right here? ?

366
00:16:55,383 --> 00:16:58,518
? Before the tire fire,
a man named Jebediah ?

367
00:16:58,553 --> 00:17:03,057
? Made Springfield the new frontier... ?

368
00:17:03,260 --> 00:17:04,724
Cue camera three.

369
00:17:04,759 --> 00:17:06,426
Cue Bart.

370
00:17:07,695 --> 00:17:09,462
Whoa.

371
00:17:09,497 --> 00:17:13,433
? That's right, my
name is Jebediah Springfield ?

372
00:17:13,468 --> 00:17:16,436
? There is none to whom I yield ?

373
00:17:16,471 --> 00:17:18,337
? No king to whom I've kneeled ?

374
00:17:18,373 --> 00:17:22,642
? Tonight my secrets are revealed ?

375
00:17:24,712 --> 00:17:31,250
? Jebediah Springfield ?

376
00:17:37,459 --> 00:17:40,593
? Now, this bear and I
are one and the same ?

377
00:17:40,628 --> 00:17:43,529
? He gave his life
so that I could have fame ?

378
00:17:43,565 --> 00:17:46,532
? Jebediah Springfield. ?

379
00:17:46,568 --> 00:17:48,367
Cut to commercial.

380
00:17:48,403 --> 00:17:51,604
That's a cut to commercial, everyone.

381
00:17:51,639 --> 00:17:53,473
John Lithgow?

382
00:17:53,508 --> 00:17:55,441
I like to work.

383
00:17:55,477 --> 00:17:57,510
- Oh, uh, line, please?
- "Grrr."

384
00:17:57,545 --> 00:18:00,313
No, you fool, a rescue line.

385
00:18:00,348 --> 00:18:01,581
Mom, what do we do?

386
00:18:01,616 --> 00:18:03,316
Improvise.

387
00:18:03,351 --> 00:18:06,352
Lisa, I need a five-minute rap
about the cruelty of the sea

388
00:18:06,387 --> 00:18:08,588
and the brave souls who rise above it.

389
00:18:08,623 --> 00:18:11,624
No problem. Can I make sly
analogies to today's politics?

390
00:18:11,659 --> 00:18:12,658
No. You'll date it.

391
00:18:15,563 --> 00:18:17,530
? The bullets flew like rain ?

392
00:18:17,565 --> 00:18:18,698
? As buffalo were slain... ?

393
00:18:18,733 --> 00:18:21,601
Who wants to change the channel?

394
00:18:21,636 --> 00:18:23,536
Eh, either they're all dead
or it's a hit.

395
00:18:23,571 --> 00:18:25,371
Fifty-fifty.

396
00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:31,477
? And now I have a raging fever ?

397
00:18:31,513 --> 00:18:35,381
? Bitten by a rabid beaver ?

398
00:18:35,416 --> 00:18:38,384
? I didn't fight for equal rights ?

399
00:18:38,419 --> 00:18:42,655
? I wish I'd done more for non-whites ?

400
00:18:42,690 --> 00:18:47,393
? But no more time for Jebediah ?

401
00:18:47,428 --> 00:18:52,398
? All that's left to do ?

402
00:18:52,433 --> 00:18:55,568
? Is ?

403
00:18:55,603 --> 00:18:58,437
? Die-a. ?

404
00:19:04,746 --> 00:19:06,646
In unison...

405
00:19:06,681 --> 00:19:08,614
Marge! Marge! Marge!

406
00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:11,551
This is the happiest moment...

407
00:19:11,586 --> 00:19:14,520
Careers are getting shorter
than ever these days.

408
00:19:16,457 --> 00:19:19,625
Marge, we got the highest rating
in modern TV history.

409
00:19:19,661 --> 00:19:21,527
A 0.6!

410
00:19:21,563 --> 00:19:23,496
Congratulations.

411
00:19:23,531 --> 00:19:27,667
I did it. I directed
a popular off-Broadway musical.

412
00:19:27,702 --> 00:19:30,636
And I wrote a popular
off-Broadway musical.

413
00:19:30,672 --> 00:19:34,419
And I caught an octopus
on Main Street. What a day.

414
00:19:36,539 --> 00:19:39,041
And the winner for
Outstanding Lead Performance

415
00:19:39,066 --> 00:19:40,675
in a Play or Musical.

416
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:43,601
Oh, mein Gott! It's Sideshow Mel
for The Tempest.

417
00:19:46,339 --> 00:19:50,207
Barbara, you can put
the kids to bed now.

418
00:19:50,243 --> 00:19:53,444
Is what I'd like to say,
but I'm childless.

419
00:19:53,479 --> 00:19:57,248
"One pie to the groin
won't do damage," they said.

420
00:19:57,283 --> 00:19:58,616
They were wrong!

421
00:19:58,651 --> 00:20:01,385
12 nominations, zero awards.

422
00:20:01,420 --> 00:20:04,032
Welcome to Club Snub, Marge.

423
00:20:04,057 --> 00:20:06,928
Feel the bile rising, the
bitterness that will never...

424
00:20:06,953 --> 00:20:10,934
And a special award for
Best Newcomer, Marge Simpson.

425
00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:12,859
Damn it!

426
00:20:12,895 --> 00:20:19,234
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -

