1 00:00:01,807 --> 00:00:06,018 ? ? 2 00:00:06,043 --> 00:00:07,910 We're all from West Covina! 3 00:00:07,978 --> 00:00:09,055 This is my favorite TV show. 4 00:00:09,079 --> 00:00:10,512 I love you, Rachel Bloom. 5 00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:13,448 Ra-ta-ta! 6 00:00:17,511 --> 00:00:20,179 Hello, Los Angeles. 7 00:00:39,275 --> 00:00:40,541 Oh, my God. 8 00:00:40,766 --> 00:00:43,000 You guys kind of made me tear up. 9 00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:49,551 We love you, Rachel! 10 00:00:49,620 --> 00:00:51,386 ? West Covina ? 11 00:00:53,657 --> 00:00:57,449 ? California ? 12 00:00:58,006 --> 00:01:00,773 ? In my soul I feel a fire ? 13 00:01:00,798 --> 00:01:05,537 ? 'Cause I'm headed for the pride of the Inland Empire ? 14 00:01:05,562 --> 00:01:07,224 ? Actually, it's not in the Inland Empire ? 15 00:01:07,249 --> 00:01:08,615 ? It's in the San Gabriel Valley ? 16 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,285 ? I should have taken five seconds to Google that ? 17 00:01:10,310 --> 00:01:12,883 ? Before I wrote the first song of the television show ? 18 00:01:18,549 --> 00:01:20,883 ? My life's about to change ? 19 00:01:20,908 --> 00:01:22,816 Oh, my gosh. 20 00:01:23,576 --> 00:01:25,576 ? 'Cause I'm hopelessly ? 21 00:01:25,601 --> 00:01:27,801 ? Desperately in love with ? 22 00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,258 ? Everybody ? 23 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:33,057 ? West Covina... ? 24 00:01:37,927 --> 00:01:40,856 ? And also, by coincidence ? 25 00:01:40,881 --> 00:01:42,814 ? So random, just by chance ? 26 00:01:42,897 --> 00:01:44,063 ? Who'd-a thunk it? 27 00:01:44,088 --> 00:01:46,088 ? So remarkable and weird, right? ? 28 00:01:46,113 --> 00:01:47,313 ? It so cray ? 29 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,593 ? ? 30 00:01:56,073 --> 00:01:58,340 ? That this guy Josh ? 31 00:01:58,365 --> 00:02:00,826 ? Just happens to be ? 32 00:02:00,915 --> 00:02:02,481 ? ? 33 00:02:04,949 --> 00:02:07,250 ? Here... ? 34 00:02:25,171 --> 00:02:30,171 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 35 00:02:30,665 --> 00:02:32,031 Welcome! 36 00:02:32,191 --> 00:02:33,724 Welcome! 37 00:02:37,687 --> 00:02:40,534 Um, so, tonight, we are so excited 38 00:02:40,559 --> 00:02:44,694 to present to you just some of the 157 songs that we... 39 00:02:44,719 --> 00:02:47,693 I know, I know... 40 00:02:47,762 --> 00:02:50,288 Uh, from the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songbook. 41 00:02:50,765 --> 00:02:53,732 "Songbook" was their cue, so that was very important. 42 00:02:56,433 --> 00:02:58,070 Yes. Yes. 43 00:02:59,176 --> 00:03:01,460 Now, uh, because this whole concert has to air 44 00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:04,987 in 42 minutes on The CW, we have to be very expeditious, 45 00:03:05,012 --> 00:03:07,279 so I am going to both introduce the show 46 00:03:07,304 --> 00:03:09,559 and change into my next outfit. 47 00:03:09,584 --> 00:03:11,517 This is my dresser, Tommy Marquez. 48 00:03:14,055 --> 00:03:15,554 ? He's single. ? 49 00:03:15,579 --> 00:03:17,012 Um... 50 00:03:17,325 --> 00:03:18,858 See? I'm helping. 51 00:03:18,883 --> 00:03:21,451 Um, Tommy has seen me naked many times. 52 00:03:21,606 --> 00:03:23,673 Many times. Um, if Tommy had a nickel 53 00:03:23,698 --> 00:03:25,664 for every time he'd seen my nipples, 54 00:03:26,108 --> 00:03:27,710 he would have an answer that I can't say 55 00:03:27,735 --> 00:03:29,695 because it was redacted by Standards and Practices 56 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,622 for being too dirty of a joke. 57 00:03:32,903 --> 00:03:34,250 I like how I'm behind a changing screen, 58 00:03:34,275 --> 00:03:37,176 but the balcony can see everything. 59 00:03:39,224 --> 00:03:41,357 So, now, I'd like to introduce 60 00:03:41,382 --> 00:03:43,469 my two Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songwriters. 61 00:03:43,494 --> 00:03:46,572 On bass, say hello to Jack Dolgen. 62 00:03:48,022 --> 00:03:49,455 And on the piano, 63 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,779 Mr. Adam Schlesinger. 64 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,279 And now... 65 00:03:55,731 --> 00:03:57,698 I am changed. 66 00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:04,380 Coming up is a song that manages to be both feminist 67 00:04:04,405 --> 00:04:07,006 and anti-feminist at the same time. 68 00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:10,776 Here's your jacket, bitch. 69 00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:18,784 ? Right now we're angry and sad ? 70 00:04:18,809 --> 00:04:21,998 ? It's our right to get righteously mad ? 71 00:04:22,023 --> 00:04:24,156 ? At every member of the opposite sex ? 72 00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,422 ? Oh, God, we hate them ? 73 00:04:28,963 --> 00:04:32,131 ? Let's not distinguish between them at all ? 74 00:04:32,156 --> 00:04:35,391 ? Let's just drink a lot more alcohol ? 75 00:04:35,416 --> 00:04:37,079 ? And then high-five each other ? 76 00:04:37,104 --> 00:04:41,584 ? As we make a bunch of blanket statements ? 77 00:04:41,609 --> 00:04:45,344 ? Let's generalize about men ? 78 00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:48,490 ? Let's generalize about men ? 79 00:04:48,515 --> 00:04:50,490 ? Let's take one bad thing ? 80 00:04:50,515 --> 00:04:52,648 ? About one man ? 81 00:04:52,748 --> 00:04:55,916 ? And apply it to all of them ? 82 00:04:55,941 --> 00:04:57,644 ? Let's conflate all the guys ? 83 00:04:57,669 --> 00:04:59,035 ? Let's generalize ? 84 00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:00,192 ? About men ? 85 00:05:00,261 --> 00:05:02,494 Ooh, it's, like, "I have a beard." Ugh! 86 00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:05,965 ? All men are completely repressed ? 87 00:05:06,033 --> 00:05:07,066 ? Uh-huh ? 88 00:05:07,091 --> 00:05:09,959 ? All men only want to have sex ? 89 00:05:09,984 --> 00:05:11,550 ? There are no exceptions ? 90 00:05:11,575 --> 00:05:13,741 ? All three billion men are like this ? 91 00:05:13,766 --> 00:05:16,767 ? All 3.6 billion men ? 92 00:05:16,792 --> 00:05:20,256 ? All men are emotionally stunted ? 93 00:05:20,281 --> 00:05:23,649 ? When asked how they feel, every man's always grunted ? 94 00:05:23,674 --> 00:05:25,073 ? And why do men never listen ? 95 00:05:25,098 --> 00:05:26,498 ? And only think about themselves? ? 96 00:05:26,523 --> 00:05:28,456 ? As opposed to women, who always listen ? 97 00:05:28,481 --> 00:05:30,448 ? And never think about themselves ? 98 00:05:30,473 --> 00:05:32,106 ? Ooh, I hear you, girl ? 99 00:05:32,218 --> 00:05:35,820 ? Let's generalize about men ? 100 00:05:35,845 --> 00:05:38,913 ? Let's generalize about men ? 101 00:05:39,017 --> 00:05:40,854 ? Let's get super lit ? 102 00:05:40,879 --> 00:05:42,378 ? And not admit ? 103 00:05:42,403 --> 00:05:44,958 ? This is some kind of primal ritual ? 104 00:05:44,983 --> 00:05:46,282 ? We need now and then ? 105 00:05:46,307 --> 00:05:48,607 ? Maybe our spirits will rise if we ? 106 00:05:48,632 --> 00:05:50,265 ? Generalize about men ? 107 00:05:50,290 --> 00:05:53,658 ? All men are stupid and childish ? 108 00:05:53,695 --> 00:05:57,063 ? Even the ones who are "smart and mature" ? 109 00:05:57,088 --> 00:05:59,850 ? All every man does every day ? 110 00:05:59,875 --> 00:06:01,807 ? Is watch porn, eat wings ? 111 00:06:01,832 --> 00:06:04,166 ? Burp, fart and snore ? 112 00:06:06,917 --> 00:06:09,951 Hey. What about gay men? 113 00:06:11,596 --> 00:06:13,129 Oh, no, they're fine. 114 00:06:13,502 --> 00:06:17,070 ? Gay men are all really great ? 115 00:06:17,095 --> 00:06:19,295 ? Every single one ? 116 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:20,819 ? They're never mean ? 117 00:06:20,844 --> 00:06:22,209 ? Just sassy ? 118 00:06:22,234 --> 00:06:23,900 ? They're all completely ? 119 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,692 ? Adorable and fun ? 120 00:06:26,717 --> 00:06:29,535 ? So let's focus for now on straight men ? 121 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:33,562 ? Let's just generalize about them ? 122 00:06:33,587 --> 00:06:35,064 ? They're all monsters ? 123 00:06:35,089 --> 00:06:36,789 ? They're murderers ? ? They're rapists ? 124 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:38,614 - ? Totally ? - Wait. 125 00:06:38,639 --> 00:06:39,938 I have sons. 126 00:06:40,014 --> 00:06:43,070 ? Your sons are gonna be rapists. ? 127 00:06:56,321 --> 00:06:58,226 All right, uh, we'll be right back 128 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,389 after I clean up all the glitter. 129 00:07:00,414 --> 00:07:01,414 Oh... 130 00:07:11,521 --> 00:07:13,277 Anyone want to, um... 131 00:07:13,416 --> 00:07:14,761 you guys want to... 132 00:07:16,585 --> 00:07:18,097 Okay, dare to defy. 133 00:07:19,289 --> 00:07:20,310 We'll be back. 134 00:07:43,186 --> 00:07:44,853 You know, during that last commercial break, 135 00:07:44,878 --> 00:07:47,045 while you were all... going to the bathroom 136 00:07:47,070 --> 00:07:50,061 or getting drinks or... probably fornicating... 137 00:07:50,086 --> 00:07:52,186 um, I was actually backstage, 138 00:07:52,211 --> 00:07:56,186 uh, donating money to some very worthy causes. 139 00:07:56,211 --> 00:07:57,310 - Wow, Rachel. - Yeah. 140 00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:58,826 - That's amazing. - Yeah. 141 00:07:59,315 --> 00:08:00,581 What, um... 142 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:02,539 what specific charity did you donate to? 143 00:08:02,573 --> 00:08:03,672 What were the names 144 00:08:03,697 --> 00:08:05,697 of the specific charities? 145 00:08:08,514 --> 00:08:10,091 Children. 146 00:08:12,924 --> 00:08:14,490 What's the, uh... 147 00:08:14,515 --> 00:08:16,548 what's the tax ID number of Children? 148 00:08:17,972 --> 00:08:20,272 Let's just do the stupid song, okay? 149 00:08:27,357 --> 00:08:30,191 ? I'm a good person, yes, it's true ? 150 00:08:30,236 --> 00:08:33,201 ? I'm a good person, better than you ? 151 00:08:33,226 --> 00:08:35,993 ? I'm a good person, can't you see? ? 152 00:08:36,018 --> 00:08:39,019 ? Doctors Without Borders don't have nothing on me ? 153 00:08:39,044 --> 00:08:41,544 ? I'm a good person, and if you ask why ? 154 00:08:41,865 --> 00:08:45,066 ? I'll spit my good right into your eye ? 155 00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:48,225 ? Everywhere I go, I spread such bliss ? 156 00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,183 ? And if you don't think so, you can kiss ? 157 00:08:50,373 --> 00:08:51,839 ? My ass ? 158 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,597 ? Which is made of good ? 159 00:08:53,622 --> 00:08:55,778 ? I'm a good person, that's my thing ? 160 00:08:55,842 --> 00:08:58,976 ? My nickname is Mother Teresa Luther King ? 161 00:08:59,045 --> 00:09:01,779 ? I'm a good person, get it straight ? 162 00:09:01,925 --> 00:09:03,391 ? And when I say "good" ? 163 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:04,959 ? I really mean "great" ? 164 00:09:04,984 --> 00:09:07,284 The best. #HumbleAndBlessed. 165 00:09:07,353 --> 00:09:10,221 ? I'm a good, such a good, real good person ? 166 00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:13,134 ? I'm a good person through and through ? 167 00:09:13,159 --> 00:09:15,860 ? I'm a good, such a good, real good person ? 168 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,939 ? Let me hear you say it, too ? 169 00:09:17,964 --> 00:09:21,119 Mom and Dad... Mom and Dad, say I'm a good person, 170 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,611 or I will put you in a terrible nursing home. 171 00:09:25,038 --> 00:09:26,704 I'm a good person. 172 00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:28,016 No. 173 00:09:31,023 --> 00:09:32,520 Okay, just in case we need it for broadcast, 174 00:09:32,545 --> 00:09:34,578 I need you both to say, "You're a good person," 175 00:09:34,603 --> 00:09:36,436 just in case it's not clear. 176 00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:37,892 Say I'm a good person, 177 00:09:37,917 --> 00:09:39,061 or I'll put you in a nursing home. 178 00:09:39,128 --> 00:09:40,472 And it'll be a bad nursing home, too. 179 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,169 Say it. Say I'm a good person. 180 00:09:42,194 --> 00:09:44,365 - You're a good person. - I'm a good person. 181 00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:47,168 Did you still say "I'm a good person"? 182 00:09:47,237 --> 00:09:49,037 Dad! 183 00:09:49,221 --> 00:09:50,553 Dad! 184 00:09:51,631 --> 00:09:52,819 Dad! 185 00:09:53,199 --> 00:09:54,909 Say it. You're... 186 00:09:54,934 --> 00:09:56,367 No! 187 00:09:57,937 --> 00:09:59,070 Dad! 188 00:10:01,903 --> 00:10:04,570 Dad, just, Mom'll cue you. 189 00:10:04,595 --> 00:10:05,643 Okay. 190 00:10:05,755 --> 00:10:07,388 Say it. Say it. 191 00:10:07,457 --> 00:10:09,157 You're a good person! 192 00:10:09,182 --> 00:10:11,426 Oh, my God, thank you... ! 193 00:10:11,451 --> 00:10:14,306 ? I'm a good, such a good, real good person ? 194 00:10:14,331 --> 00:10:17,732 ? I'm a good person through and through ? 195 00:10:17,757 --> 00:10:19,123 ? I'm a good, such a good ? 196 00:10:19,236 --> 00:10:20,468 ? Real good person ? 197 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,203 ? I'm a good person ? 198 00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:24,172 ? Get it? Screw you! ? 199 00:10:41,806 --> 00:10:43,257 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 200 00:10:43,282 --> 00:10:47,117 it is my good-person privilege to introduce... 201 00:10:48,655 --> 00:10:52,749 Donna Lynne Champlin and the Almost-All-Female Orchestra. 202 00:11:04,648 --> 00:11:06,214 Thank you. 203 00:11:06,283 --> 00:11:08,516 I got the pretty dress, y'all. 204 00:11:13,579 --> 00:11:16,480 ? When I was a little girl ? 205 00:11:16,549 --> 00:11:19,583 ? I felt like a princess ? 206 00:11:19,662 --> 00:11:23,564 ? So naive and full of hope ? 207 00:11:24,357 --> 00:11:27,335 ? I thought my dreams would come true ? 208 00:11:27,574 --> 00:11:30,171 ? But then as I grew ? 209 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,070 ? The world was all like ? 210 00:11:35,211 --> 00:11:36,777 ? "Nope" ? 211 00:11:39,071 --> 00:11:41,249 But this time, maybe... 212 00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:44,250 just maybe... 213 00:11:46,078 --> 00:11:48,012 ? Maybe this dream ? 214 00:11:48,123 --> 00:11:50,691 ? Won't lead to disgrace ? 215 00:11:50,716 --> 00:11:52,683 ? Maybe this dream ? 216 00:11:52,708 --> 00:11:55,175 ? Is in reach ? 217 00:11:55,288 --> 00:11:57,288 ? Maybe this dream ? 218 00:11:57,356 --> 00:11:59,690 ? Won't poop on my face ? 219 00:11:59,759 --> 00:12:01,559 ? Like a seagull ? 220 00:12:01,627 --> 00:12:05,095 ? At the beach ? 221 00:12:05,164 --> 00:12:07,264 ? Maybe this dream ? 222 00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:09,333 ? Won't be like when I go running ? 223 00:12:09,402 --> 00:12:11,690 ? And I have to take a dump ? 224 00:12:11,715 --> 00:12:14,382 ? So I have to rush home ? 225 00:12:14,451 --> 00:12:16,184 ? Plus I also have my period ? 226 00:12:16,253 --> 00:12:17,752 ? So I have menstrual cramps ? 227 00:12:17,777 --> 00:12:18,909 ? Plus dump cramps ? 228 00:12:19,421 --> 00:12:21,222 ? And as I run frantically ? 229 00:12:21,247 --> 00:12:22,413 ? I pee ? 230 00:12:22,481 --> 00:12:23,914 ? Just a little ? 231 00:12:23,983 --> 00:12:26,004 ? Because I've had two babies ? 232 00:12:26,029 --> 00:12:28,563 ? So by the time I get home ? 233 00:12:28,588 --> 00:12:32,500 ? My undies smell like a sewer rat ? 234 00:12:32,884 --> 00:12:34,225 ? Maybe this dream ? 235 00:12:34,293 --> 00:12:35,426 ? Won't be ? 236 00:12:35,494 --> 00:12:38,796 ? Like that... ? 237 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:55,155 ? Maybe this dream ? 238 00:12:56,086 --> 00:12:58,986 ? Will finally make me ? 239 00:12:59,011 --> 00:13:01,678 ? Feel... ? 240 00:13:02,929 --> 00:13:05,563 ? Like I ? 241 00:13:06,626 --> 00:13:09,774 ? Deserve... ? 242 00:13:14,153 --> 00:13:16,677 ? A... ? 243 00:13:16,702 --> 00:13:22,316 ? Dream... ? 244 00:13:25,086 --> 00:13:26,252 Ah. 245 00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:48,492 How you guys doin'? 246 00:13:49,019 --> 00:13:52,287 Yeah! I love ya! 247 00:13:54,781 --> 00:13:56,784 Oh, I have loved playing Darryl Whitefeather 248 00:13:56,809 --> 00:13:58,742 for the last four years. 249 00:13:59,348 --> 00:14:02,667 But alas, it's time to hang up the spurs. 250 00:14:02,692 --> 00:14:03,624 Aw... 251 00:14:03,649 --> 00:14:06,175 But not just yet! 252 00:14:08,387 --> 00:14:11,772 So how about we show a little bi pride, huh? 253 00:14:13,403 --> 00:14:16,522 Because this is all about feelin' proud 254 00:14:16,547 --> 00:14:18,680 and livin' out loud! 255 00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:27,031 ? I don't know how ? 256 00:14:27,056 --> 00:14:28,656 ? I don't know why ? 257 00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:30,690 ? But I like ladies ? 258 00:14:30,719 --> 00:14:31,951 ? And I like guys ? 259 00:14:32,123 --> 00:14:34,056 ? I realize ? 260 00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,414 ? It's a surprise ? 261 00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,539 ? But now I see that that's just me ? 262 00:14:37,564 --> 00:14:39,798 ? It's not like I even try ? 263 00:14:39,823 --> 00:14:43,057 ? So if you ask me how I do it ? 264 00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:45,149 ? Here is my reply ? 265 00:14:45,174 --> 00:14:47,441 ? I'm g-g-g-g-gettin' bi ? 266 00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:49,553 ? I'm gettin' bi ? 267 00:14:49,654 --> 00:14:52,555 ? I'm lettin' my bi flag fly ? 268 00:14:52,623 --> 00:14:54,223 ? Not gonna hide it ? 269 00:14:54,248 --> 00:14:56,081 ? Not gonna lie ? 270 00:14:56,106 --> 00:14:57,806 ? I'm a bi kinda guy ? 271 00:14:57,831 --> 00:15:00,098 ? There's no reason to be shy ? 272 00:15:00,123 --> 00:15:01,322 ? My, oh, my ? 273 00:15:01,516 --> 00:15:03,315 ? It's a fact I can't deny ? 274 00:15:03,384 --> 00:15:04,817 ? I'm bi, bi, bi ? 275 00:15:04,886 --> 00:15:06,485 ? Until the day I die ? 276 00:15:08,990 --> 00:15:10,756 ? Now, some may say ? 277 00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:13,503 ? Aw, you're just gay ? 278 00:15:13,528 --> 00:15:15,094 ? Why don't you just go gay ? 279 00:15:15,119 --> 00:15:16,686 ? All the way? ? 280 00:15:16,711 --> 00:15:18,044 ? But that's not it ? 281 00:15:18,069 --> 00:15:19,542 ? 'Cause bi's legit ? 282 00:15:19,567 --> 00:15:21,734 ? Whether you're a he or a she ? 283 00:15:21,802 --> 00:15:23,769 ? We might be a perfect fit ? 284 00:15:23,838 --> 00:15:26,539 ? So if you ask me how I do it ? 285 00:15:26,607 --> 00:15:28,541 ? I'm feelin' peppy ? 286 00:15:28,609 --> 00:15:29,808 ? Sprightly, spry ? 287 00:15:29,877 --> 00:15:31,398 ? I'm g-g-g-g-gettin' bi ? 288 00:15:31,423 --> 00:15:34,490 ? I'm gettin' bi ? 289 00:15:34,515 --> 00:15:36,937 ? I'm gettin' bi, I'm gettin' bi ? 290 00:15:36,962 --> 00:15:39,229 ? It doesn't take an intellectual ? 291 00:15:39,254 --> 00:15:41,430 ? To get that I'm bisexual. ? 292 00:15:41,455 --> 00:15:43,389 ? ? 293 00:15:50,474 --> 00:15:52,942 Yeah! 294 00:15:53,541 --> 00:15:55,641 Whoo! 295 00:15:58,096 --> 00:16:00,429 Love you! 296 00:16:04,970 --> 00:16:06,603 Okay, we'll be right back 297 00:16:06,628 --> 00:16:09,563 soon as we clean up the confetti again. 298 00:16:09,588 --> 00:16:10,999 If anyone wants to actually help me this time, 299 00:16:11,024 --> 00:16:12,423 that'd be great. 300 00:16:12,506 --> 00:16:13,840 - Yeah, we'll help you. - Thank you so much. Thank you so... 301 00:16:13,865 --> 00:16:14,865 - There you go. - Okay. 302 00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:16,436 Oh, my God, you need one more more. 303 00:16:16,461 --> 00:16:17,785 - Okay. - You'll be great. 304 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:18,793 Take care of yourself. Rachel. 305 00:16:18,818 --> 00:16:20,476 Good luck. You're a star. 306 00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:21,967 Thank you so much. 307 00:16:26,438 --> 00:16:28,438 Itchy Cat, can you help me sweep? 308 00:16:28,463 --> 00:16:29,829 Please? 309 00:16:30,037 --> 00:16:32,170 Itchy Cat? 310 00:16:32,195 --> 00:16:35,263 Let's sweep together. Come on. 311 00:16:35,312 --> 00:16:36,845 Yeah, just sweep it there. 312 00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:39,237 Thank you so much. 313 00:16:39,262 --> 00:16:42,116 You know, maybe I judged yeast infections all wrong. 314 00:16:43,364 --> 00:16:44,677 Thank you so much. 315 00:16:46,419 --> 00:16:48,085 This is a metaphor for something, 316 00:16:48,110 --> 00:16:49,317 but I don't know what. 317 00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:01,452 Oh. 318 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,753 Hello. I... 319 00:17:02,778 --> 00:17:04,544 I totally saw you there. 320 00:17:04,569 --> 00:17:06,102 You know... 321 00:17:06,215 --> 00:17:09,616 when people think of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, 322 00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,762 one word comes to mind. 323 00:17:11,787 --> 00:17:13,553 I'm talking about... 324 00:17:13,622 --> 00:17:14,622 "sex." 325 00:17:14,647 --> 00:17:16,514 Ooh! 326 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,702 Did you all just collectively shudder 327 00:17:18,727 --> 00:17:20,160 at that nasty word? 328 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,395 That's right, "sex." 329 00:17:22,614 --> 00:17:24,213 "Doin' it." 330 00:17:24,879 --> 00:17:26,541 "A special hug." 331 00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:31,571 "Half past hump o'clock." 332 00:17:31,957 --> 00:17:35,125 And so we here at Crazy Sex-Girlfriend... ha! 333 00:17:37,088 --> 00:17:39,289 We've prepared for you a little... 334 00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:40,958 sex medley. 335 00:17:49,691 --> 00:17:50,824 Uh! 336 00:17:52,916 --> 00:17:55,016 ? It's the sexy gettin' medley song ? 337 00:17:56,332 --> 00:17:58,265 ? The sexy gettin' medley song ? 338 00:17:58,290 --> 00:17:59,290 ? Ooh ? 339 00:17:59,337 --> 00:18:00,665 ? Primpin' and pluckin' ? 340 00:18:00,690 --> 00:18:02,223 ? Brushin' and rubbin' ? 341 00:18:02,379 --> 00:18:04,179 ? The sexy gettin' medley song ? 342 00:18:06,029 --> 00:18:08,363 ? First I make ? 343 00:18:08,432 --> 00:18:10,231 ? Everything shiny and smooth ? 344 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,355 ? Oh, yeah ? 345 00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:14,047 ? 'Cause I want my body ? 346 00:18:14,248 --> 00:18:16,415 ? To be so soft for you ? 347 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,039 ? Bye-bye, skin ? 348 00:18:18,108 --> 00:18:20,408 ? I'm gonna make this night ? 349 00:18:20,477 --> 00:18:22,777 ? One you'll never forget, ah ? 350 00:18:22,846 --> 00:18:24,446 ? Ass blood ? ? 'Cause, boy ? 351 00:18:24,514 --> 00:18:26,247 ? I know you like ? 352 00:18:26,316 --> 00:18:30,051 ? An hourglass silhoue... ? 353 00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:31,142 ? Ette ? 354 00:18:31,664 --> 00:18:33,532 Ooh, what's happening with my... 355 00:18:42,432 --> 00:18:45,033 ? We should definitely not have sex right now ? 356 00:18:45,101 --> 00:18:47,802 ? We should definitely not have sex right now ? 357 00:18:47,871 --> 00:18:51,806 ? It would complicate the situation ? 358 00:18:51,875 --> 00:18:53,541 - Ooh. - ? It's the adult thing ? 359 00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,310 ? To not have sex right now ? 360 00:18:55,422 --> 00:18:57,756 ? We have the common sense not to have sex right now ? 361 00:18:57,781 --> 00:18:59,514 ? I need time to reflect ? 362 00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,940 ? And I'm in a really weird place ? 363 00:19:05,708 --> 00:19:07,108 But you know what? 364 00:19:07,557 --> 00:19:08,556 Screw it. 365 00:19:17,325 --> 00:19:18,958 ? Strip away my conscience ? 366 00:19:19,352 --> 00:19:21,218 ? Peel away my values ? 367 00:19:21,471 --> 00:19:24,739 ? Rip off my compassion with your teeth ? 368 00:19:24,808 --> 00:19:26,908 ? Pound away my morals ? 369 00:19:26,977 --> 00:19:28,743 ? Spank off all my kindness, ooh! ? 370 00:19:28,812 --> 00:19:31,913 ? Expose the dormant bitch that lies beneath ? 371 00:19:41,105 --> 00:19:42,838 Michael, what are you doing? 372 00:19:42,922 --> 00:19:44,822 It's a sex medley, 373 00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:48,535 so I'm dancing with my sexy electric toothbrushes. 374 00:19:51,684 --> 00:19:53,812 What are... what are you... 375 00:19:53,837 --> 00:19:55,603 what... what are you... 376 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:58,195 hey, what are you talking about? 377 00:19:58,220 --> 00:20:00,921 That's what that song I sang was about, right? 378 00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:04,417 Electric toothbrushes being so, so sexy. 379 00:20:06,049 --> 00:20:07,382 No. 380 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:08,840 Michael... 381 00:20:08,865 --> 00:20:10,097 Oh, yeah. 382 00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:12,597 - Michael... - ? Buzzy, buzzy, buzzy, buzzy ? 383 00:20:12,622 --> 00:20:14,055 ? Buzzy, buzzy. ? 384 00:20:14,124 --> 00:20:17,158 Michael, no, that song was about pleasing a woman. 385 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:18,816 What's a woman? 386 00:20:20,806 --> 00:20:21,806 ? You devil ? 387 00:20:21,831 --> 00:20:23,264 ? Lead me to the dark side ? 388 00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:25,623 ? Like a lamb to the slaughter ? 389 00:20:25,648 --> 00:20:27,114 ? Then do me in a hot tub ? 390 00:20:27,139 --> 00:20:28,924 ? Filled with evil 'stead of water ? 391 00:20:28,949 --> 00:20:30,916 ? Let's make war, not love ? 392 00:20:30,941 --> 00:20:32,840 ? All night and day ? 393 00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,566 ? It's hot here in hell, so... ? 394 00:20:35,912 --> 00:20:38,279 Oh. Uh-oh. Something just happened. 395 00:20:41,914 --> 00:20:43,247 Ah, this, uh... 396 00:20:43,464 --> 00:20:45,764 Oh, boy. This might not be the right time to... 397 00:20:45,789 --> 00:20:47,608 do this medley. 398 00:20:47,743 --> 00:20:49,510 Unless you want to have... 399 00:20:56,666 --> 00:20:58,420 ? Period sex ? 400 00:20:58,445 --> 00:20:59,878 ? Period sex ? 401 00:20:59,903 --> 00:21:01,436 ? Put down a towel ? 402 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:02,961 ? Party till it's dry ? 403 00:21:03,039 --> 00:21:04,439 ? With some period sex ? 404 00:21:04,507 --> 00:21:06,140 ? Period sex ? 405 00:21:06,209 --> 00:21:09,098 ? It's a little gross but I'm less likely to get pregnant ? 406 00:21:09,123 --> 00:21:12,824 ? During period sex, period sex ? 407 00:21:12,849 --> 00:21:16,584 ? Think of it as just Mother Nature's juice cleanse ? 408 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,842 ? Period sex, period sex ? 409 00:21:18,955 --> 00:21:20,688 ? Period sex ? 410 00:21:20,757 --> 00:21:23,224 ? Sex, sex, sex, sex. 411 00:21:23,293 --> 00:21:24,726 Get off! Get off the stage. 412 00:21:24,794 --> 00:21:25,927 Come on. 413 00:21:25,996 --> 00:21:27,862 Get off! 414 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,908 This is Scott's time now. 415 00:21:29,933 --> 00:21:31,332 Okay. 416 00:21:31,488 --> 00:21:34,155 Speaking of getting off... 417 00:21:36,172 --> 00:21:39,718 ? Unfortunately, I want to have period sex with you ? 418 00:21:39,787 --> 00:21:41,486 Okay. 419 00:21:41,511 --> 00:21:43,478 ? I don't know what happened ? 420 00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:46,362 ? Maybe you lost some water weight ? 421 00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:52,998 ? For some reason, you're now on the top of my to-do list ? 422 00:21:53,023 --> 00:21:54,956 ? Let's get this over with ? 423 00:21:56,403 --> 00:21:58,937 ? So I can focus on other tasks ? 424 00:21:58,962 --> 00:22:01,729 ? Let's have intercourse ? 425 00:22:03,099 --> 00:22:05,433 ? Just pretend I'm seducing you ? 426 00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:07,436 Hey, actually, can we not do this big lift coming up? 427 00:22:07,461 --> 00:22:09,160 Oh, my God, my back hurts so bad. 428 00:22:09,185 --> 00:22:11,218 - Good. It's just, I don't like it, either. - Okay. 429 00:22:11,243 --> 00:22:14,878 ? Come on, let's quickly have intercourse ? 430 00:22:14,903 --> 00:22:16,836 ? So I can move on ? 431 00:22:17,124 --> 00:22:19,124 ? With my life ? 432 00:22:19,149 --> 00:22:21,082 Turn around. Let's see the butt. Nice. 433 00:22:21,151 --> 00:22:22,428 Yup. I know. That's what you want. 434 00:22:22,452 --> 00:22:23,785 ? My busy life ? 435 00:22:24,888 --> 00:22:26,988 ? You and I ? 436 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:30,214 ? Are both highly intelligent people ? 437 00:22:30,326 --> 00:22:31,926 Oh, that's nice. 438 00:22:31,995 --> 00:22:33,428 - ? Although I'm ? - Oh. Oh! 439 00:22:33,496 --> 00:22:35,129 ? In much better physical shape ? 440 00:22:37,434 --> 00:22:39,400 ? And once we do it it'll be like ? 441 00:22:39,425 --> 00:22:41,759 ? Well, that's what that was like ? 442 00:22:41,784 --> 00:22:45,586 ? And then you'll hopefully go back ? 443 00:22:45,742 --> 00:22:47,241 ? To seeming weird to me ? 444 00:22:47,310 --> 00:22:49,010 ? But right now, let's have intercourse ? 445 00:22:49,123 --> 00:22:50,889 Ow, Scott. 446 00:22:50,914 --> 00:22:53,748 ? I mean, obviously you want to, too ? 447 00:22:53,773 --> 00:22:57,239 ? Just super quickly have intercourse ? 448 00:22:57,264 --> 00:23:04,269 ? Good thing I happen to have an old condom in my wallet. ? 449 00:23:09,976 --> 00:23:11,242 You know what? 450 00:23:12,011 --> 00:23:13,637 It's a good thing you have that condom, Scott, 451 00:23:13,662 --> 00:23:15,613 even though it is way too big for you. 452 00:23:17,684 --> 00:23:19,017 Because even though 453 00:23:19,042 --> 00:23:20,950 I am on my period, I can still get pregnant, 454 00:23:20,975 --> 00:23:22,787 because... PSA and fun fact... 455 00:23:22,812 --> 00:23:25,346 Sperm can live in the uterus for up to five days. 456 00:23:25,371 --> 00:23:27,538 - Did somebody say "sperm"? - Oh, no. 457 00:23:28,832 --> 00:23:30,499 ? Uh-huh ? 458 00:23:30,653 --> 00:23:32,754 ? My sperm is healthy ? 459 00:23:32,779 --> 00:23:34,446 ? My sperm is healthy ? 460 00:23:34,471 --> 00:23:36,338 Yeah, yeah. ? My sperm is healthy ? 461 00:23:36,363 --> 00:23:38,896 ? My sperm is healthy! ? 462 00:23:38,921 --> 00:23:40,561 That's also another song from the show. 463 00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:41,862 Yeah. 464 00:23:42,490 --> 00:23:44,290 Cool. We'll be right back. 465 00:23:44,315 --> 00:23:46,782 ? ? 466 00:23:46,807 --> 00:23:48,389 Oh. Oh! 467 00:23:48,525 --> 00:23:50,359 Oh, they're trying to get me pregnant. 468 00:23:50,721 --> 00:23:52,221 They don't know how it works. 469 00:23:52,246 --> 00:23:54,180 Okay. 470 00:23:54,205 --> 00:23:57,507 Okay, I think this is actually a money shot. 471 00:23:57,532 --> 00:23:58,795 I don't... 472 00:24:03,162 --> 00:24:04,928 No, get off me! 473 00:24:04,953 --> 00:24:06,886 ? ? 474 00:24:11,054 --> 00:24:12,420 Get off! 475 00:24:20,944 --> 00:24:24,355 Welcome back from commercial, everyone. 476 00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:26,240 You guys, you guys, 477 00:24:26,265 --> 00:24:30,988 we all know the most important part of yoga is the instructor. 478 00:24:31,417 --> 00:24:33,717 So let us take it back 479 00:24:33,742 --> 00:24:36,109 to season one Valencia, bitches. 480 00:24:39,576 --> 00:24:42,607 ? We're in a yoga class ? 481 00:24:42,632 --> 00:24:46,133 ? Now is the time to let your mind go blank ? 482 00:24:46,202 --> 00:24:48,135 ? And focus instead ? 483 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:53,818 ? On how awesome the yoga teacher is ? 484 00:24:56,546 --> 00:24:58,712 ? Look at me, look at me ? 485 00:24:58,781 --> 00:25:00,981 ? I'm so good at yo-o-o-oga ? 486 00:25:01,050 --> 00:25:03,150 ? Look at me, look at me ? 487 00:25:03,175 --> 00:25:05,809 ? I'm so good at yo-o-o-oga ? 488 00:25:05,922 --> 00:25:07,855 Exhale on another sigh. 489 00:25:07,924 --> 00:25:10,024 Rachel Bloom sucks. 490 00:25:10,092 --> 00:25:12,059 ? I do stuff with my body ? 491 00:25:12,128 --> 00:25:14,361 ? That no human should be able to do ? 492 00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:17,031 ? Like putting my face behind my knees ? 493 00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:19,287 ? Turning my hands into a shoe ? 494 00:25:19,312 --> 00:25:21,412 ? As the morning sun kisses the lotus ? 495 00:25:21,437 --> 00:25:24,092 ? I kiss my own hoo-ha, can you do that? ? 496 00:25:24,117 --> 00:25:26,117 ? Greet each day, namaste ? 497 00:25:26,142 --> 00:25:28,609 ? Screw you, you're fat! ? 498 00:25:28,634 --> 00:25:30,688 ? Look at me, look at me ? 499 00:25:30,713 --> 00:25:32,833 ? I'm so good at yo-o-o-oga ? 500 00:25:32,858 --> 00:25:35,192 ? Look at me, look at me ? 501 00:25:35,217 --> 00:25:37,718 ? I'm so good at yo-o-o-oga ? 502 00:25:37,787 --> 00:25:40,542 ? Look at her, look at her ? 503 00:25:40,567 --> 00:25:42,233 Ah. Ah. 504 00:25:42,258 --> 00:25:44,078 ? Look at her, look at her ? 505 00:25:44,103 --> 00:25:45,836 ? I'm so much better than you ? 506 00:25:45,861 --> 00:25:47,172 ? Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah, nyah ? 507 00:25:47,196 --> 00:25:48,662 ? Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah, nyah ? 508 00:25:48,731 --> 00:25:50,208 ? Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah ? 509 00:25:50,232 --> 00:25:51,832 - Om! - ? Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah, nyah ? 510 00:25:51,857 --> 00:25:53,568 ? Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah-nyah ? 511 00:25:53,636 --> 00:25:54,568 - ? Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah - ? I'm so good at yo-o-o-oga ? 512 00:25:54,637 --> 00:25:55,836 - ? Nyah-nyah, nyah ? - Om! 513 00:25:55,905 --> 00:25:57,149 ? Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah, nyah ? 514 00:25:57,173 --> 00:25:58,417 ? Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah, nyah ? 515 00:25:58,441 --> 00:25:59,484 ? Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah ? 516 00:25:59,508 --> 00:26:01,542 - ? Nyah-nyah, nyah. ? - Om! 517 00:26:22,510 --> 00:26:24,065 You know, um, 518 00:26:24,644 --> 00:26:26,644 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend... We have a lot of fun, 519 00:26:26,669 --> 00:26:30,437 but really, it is, at its heart, an earnest tribute 520 00:26:30,709 --> 00:26:33,484 to the art of musical theater. 521 00:26:39,515 --> 00:26:41,251 From Gilbert and Sullivan 522 00:26:41,965 --> 00:26:43,684 to Hamilton. 523 00:26:44,496 --> 00:26:46,920 We've done neither of those genres. 524 00:26:51,103 --> 00:26:52,903 So when we sat around and we thought, 525 00:26:52,928 --> 00:26:54,128 let's do an actual, 526 00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:56,986 inspirational musical theater song, 527 00:26:57,011 --> 00:26:59,366 we could think of no one better to do it justice 528 00:26:59,729 --> 00:27:01,612 than Miss Vella Lovell. 529 00:27:03,850 --> 00:27:05,950 No. Yeah. 530 00:27:06,484 --> 00:27:08,552 So, no. So, Rachel, 531 00:27:08,577 --> 00:27:11,242 I'm actually not a musical theater person at all. 532 00:27:11,267 --> 00:27:12,556 Um, actually, singing and dancing 533 00:27:12,581 --> 00:27:14,426 makes me V uncomfortable, so... 534 00:27:14,450 --> 00:27:16,383 Oh, okay, Adam. 535 00:27:16,496 --> 00:27:18,229 Uh, guess you could just force me 536 00:27:18,298 --> 00:27:20,231 to sing a song that I don't want to... 537 00:27:20,256 --> 00:27:22,690 ? What does the future hold? ? 538 00:27:23,353 --> 00:27:24,935 ? What will tomorrow... ? 539 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,260 No. ? Bring me... ? 540 00:27:26,328 --> 00:27:27,394 Don't... Dave... 541 00:27:27,463 --> 00:27:28,729 ? Will be told... ? 542 00:27:28,798 --> 00:27:30,224 Please don't dance... okay. 543 00:27:30,249 --> 00:27:32,016 ? What song is gonna sing me ? 544 00:27:32,129 --> 00:27:34,099 - I'm gonna do it. - No... okay. 545 00:27:34,124 --> 00:27:37,225 ? This is my time to shine, step out of the line ? 546 00:27:37,250 --> 00:27:40,663 ? Throw open all the windows ? Wow. 547 00:27:40,688 --> 00:27:43,798 ? Might be an uphill climb, but I just got to find ? 548 00:27:43,823 --> 00:27:45,389 ? What's at the end... ? 549 00:27:45,501 --> 00:27:46,567 - What... ? - Say it. 550 00:27:46,592 --> 00:27:47,770 - No, no, I don't... - Say "rainbow." 551 00:27:47,794 --> 00:27:49,360 - ? Of this rainbow... ? - Yeah! 552 00:27:49,429 --> 00:27:52,884 ? 'Cause the clock just keeps on ticking ? 553 00:27:52,909 --> 00:27:55,443 ? It doesn't care that time goes by... ? 554 00:27:55,468 --> 00:27:57,134 You're just following me, okay. 555 00:27:57,159 --> 00:27:59,705 ? The clock knows its destiny ? 556 00:27:59,730 --> 00:28:01,897 ? So why don't I? ? 557 00:28:01,922 --> 00:28:03,455 Where'd you learn this dance? 558 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:06,187 ? 'Cause today's tomorrow's yesterday ? 559 00:28:06,212 --> 00:28:07,645 ? Can't let the future slip... ? 560 00:28:07,670 --> 00:28:09,870 You're psychotic. 561 00:28:09,895 --> 00:28:14,131 ? Can't wait to meet whoever I will be... ? 562 00:28:14,156 --> 00:28:15,755 What was that? 563 00:28:15,780 --> 00:28:18,582 ? 'Cause I am the moment ? 564 00:28:18,975 --> 00:28:21,875 ? The moment is me ? 565 00:28:22,195 --> 00:28:25,496 ? David is the moment ? 566 00:28:25,521 --> 00:28:28,188 David is not the moment. This is literally my moment, 567 00:28:28,213 --> 00:28:29,487 it's the title of the song. 568 00:28:29,512 --> 00:28:30,778 Wow. 569 00:28:30,853 --> 00:28:34,955 Wow, look who cares a very lot all of a sudden. 570 00:28:37,210 --> 00:28:40,370 ? The moment is ? 571 00:28:41,358 --> 00:28:42,890 ? We. ? 572 00:28:49,051 --> 00:28:50,250 - Thank you! - Okay. 573 00:28:50,275 --> 00:28:51,874 David Hull, everyone. 574 00:28:52,043 --> 00:28:54,443 David Hull, ladies and gentlemen. 575 00:28:54,468 --> 00:28:56,668 Thank you! 576 00:28:58,519 --> 00:29:01,203 David Hull, everyone! 577 00:29:01,607 --> 00:29:03,407 Oh, Lord. 578 00:29:11,035 --> 00:29:13,235 So, 579 00:29:13,260 --> 00:29:14,570 I think one of the most gratifying things 580 00:29:14,595 --> 00:29:16,355 about doing this show is having people tell us, 581 00:29:16,380 --> 00:29:19,618 um, that-that sometimes, they see things in the show 582 00:29:19,643 --> 00:29:22,578 or hear songs that make them feel, uh, a little less alone. 583 00:29:22,603 --> 00:29:24,370 Um, but what you might not know is, 584 00:29:24,395 --> 00:29:27,226 it's kind of the same thing for the songwriters 585 00:29:27,251 --> 00:29:28,540 and-and the writers, too. 586 00:29:28,565 --> 00:29:30,651 There are certain songs you write, uh, 587 00:29:30,676 --> 00:29:33,232 and lyrics that you write or pieces of dialogue you write 588 00:29:33,257 --> 00:29:35,958 that you're like, "Ugh, am I the only one who's felt this? 589 00:29:35,983 --> 00:29:38,488 Am I, like, the weirdo? Is this gonna go over well?" 590 00:29:38,513 --> 00:29:41,781 And so just know when you say that you feel less alone, 591 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,427 you make us feel less alone. 592 00:29:44,452 --> 00:29:46,385 Really. 593 00:29:54,044 --> 00:29:59,314 ? In my life, I've had so many men ? 594 00:29:59,383 --> 00:30:04,887 ? But there's one I come back to again and again ? 595 00:30:04,955 --> 00:30:07,923 ? We've been on and off ? 596 00:30:07,948 --> 00:30:11,349 ? For such a long time ? 597 00:30:11,818 --> 00:30:13,439 ? And now he's back ? 598 00:30:13,464 --> 00:30:17,342 ? And I'm feeling oh, so fine ? 599 00:30:17,367 --> 00:30:20,468 ? He's the darkness ? 600 00:30:20,613 --> 00:30:23,359 ? My first love, my true love ? 601 00:30:23,384 --> 00:30:26,619 ? The darkness ? 602 00:30:26,644 --> 00:30:30,090 ? He knows me better than anyone ? 603 00:30:30,115 --> 00:30:32,482 ? He holds me close and whispers things ? 604 00:30:32,507 --> 00:30:35,007 ? That I don't want to hear ? 605 00:30:35,315 --> 00:30:37,248 ? When I feel the butterflies of dread ? 606 00:30:37,273 --> 00:30:40,508 ? I know the darkness is near ? 607 00:30:45,232 --> 00:30:47,296 ? Well, Rebecca ? 608 00:30:47,321 --> 00:30:49,255 ? You've done it now... ? 609 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,180 Yeah, you guys know this one. 610 00:30:51,681 --> 00:30:57,183 ? Karma's come to tap you on the shoulder ? 611 00:30:57,208 --> 00:31:00,790 ? All that lying that's been festering ? 612 00:31:01,045 --> 00:31:03,934 ? Plus breaking and entering ? 613 00:31:04,060 --> 00:31:09,130 ? Is coming now to crush you like a boulder ? 614 00:31:09,155 --> 00:31:13,091 ? You ruined everything ? 615 00:31:13,146 --> 00:31:16,646 ? You stupid bitch ? 616 00:31:16,671 --> 00:31:19,939 ? You ruined everything ? 617 00:31:19,964 --> 00:31:22,731 ? You stupid, stupid bitch ? 618 00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:26,691 ? You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things ? 619 00:31:26,716 --> 00:31:30,131 ? And wants the world to burn ? 620 00:31:30,156 --> 00:31:31,589 ? Bitch ? 621 00:31:31,614 --> 00:31:34,715 ? You're a stupid bitch ? 622 00:31:35,145 --> 00:31:38,790 ? And lose some weight ? 623 00:31:41,551 --> 00:31:45,220 ? You ruined everything ? 624 00:31:45,245 --> 00:31:46,686 ? You stupid bitch ? 625 00:31:46,711 --> 00:31:48,210 Sing with me! 626 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,735 ? You ruined everything ? 627 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:53,996 ? You stupid, stupid bitch ? 628 00:31:54,021 --> 00:31:56,008 Yes, I deserve this! 629 00:31:56,033 --> 00:31:58,764 ? You're just a poopy little slut ? 630 00:31:58,789 --> 00:32:03,249 ? Who doesn't think and deceives the people she loves ? 631 00:32:03,274 --> 00:32:06,341 ? Now he knows I'm not some innocent lamb ? 632 00:32:06,366 --> 00:32:09,176 ? He sees me for what I am ? 633 00:32:09,201 --> 00:32:11,690 ? Which is a horrible, stupid ? 634 00:32:11,715 --> 00:32:13,348 ? Dumb and ugly ? 635 00:32:13,373 --> 00:32:14,973 ? Fat and stupid ? 636 00:32:14,998 --> 00:32:17,709 ? Simple, self-hating ? 637 00:32:19,690 --> 00:32:24,826 ? Bi... ? 638 00:32:24,851 --> 00:32:29,909 ? Bitch... ! ? 639 00:32:43,826 --> 00:32:47,528 ? I've got my head in the clouds ? 640 00:32:48,372 --> 00:32:50,996 ? 'Cause that's where heaven is ? 641 00:32:51,021 --> 00:32:55,357 ? No longer stuck in the muck on the ground ? 642 00:32:55,426 --> 00:32:57,859 ? I figured out how to live ? 643 00:32:57,884 --> 00:33:01,685 ? It's with my head in the clouds ? 644 00:33:02,028 --> 00:33:04,696 ? Got no cares anymore ? 645 00:33:04,721 --> 00:33:09,463 ? No obligations are holding me down ? 646 00:33:09,488 --> 00:33:11,722 ? That's what religion is for ? 647 00:33:11,747 --> 00:33:14,052 ? ? 648 00:33:14,467 --> 00:33:16,134 ? My puzzle is solved ? 649 00:33:16,275 --> 00:33:17,874 ? 'Cause I'm absolved ? 650 00:33:17,899 --> 00:33:21,734 ? My life will be splendid now that I've transcended ? 651 00:33:21,759 --> 00:33:24,893 ? When things get scary, just say ten Hail Marys ? 652 00:33:24,918 --> 00:33:28,305 ? I'm Turin off my shroud ? 653 00:33:36,603 --> 00:33:37,869 Angry! 654 00:33:39,036 --> 00:33:41,003 Feeling bad! 655 00:33:42,519 --> 00:33:43,919 Why do I feel this way? 656 00:33:43,944 --> 00:33:46,144 Angry! Mad! 657 00:33:46,169 --> 00:33:47,769 My heart is hurting! 658 00:33:47,794 --> 00:33:50,060 And it feels... bad! 659 00:33:50,085 --> 00:33:52,018 ? ? 660 00:34:03,237 --> 00:34:04,636 Bad! 661 00:34:26,684 --> 00:34:29,985 ? The smell of the water, kids screaming with joy ? 662 00:34:30,010 --> 00:34:33,629 ? I've hated crap like that since I was a boy ? 663 00:34:33,654 --> 00:34:36,589 ? While everyone was laughing and having so much fun ? 664 00:34:36,722 --> 00:34:40,327 ? I would mutter "This sucks" till the day was done ? 665 00:34:40,352 --> 00:34:43,487 ? I detested most stuff and I still do ? 666 00:34:43,512 --> 00:34:48,809 ? You see, I hate everything but you ? 667 00:34:49,431 --> 00:34:52,332 ? ? 668 00:34:52,456 --> 00:34:56,358 ? I hate the feeling of the sun when it hits my skin ? 669 00:34:56,383 --> 00:34:59,517 ? I don't like bands that have a guy on mandolin ? 670 00:34:59,542 --> 00:35:01,542 ? I hate when people post pictures ? 671 00:35:01,567 --> 00:35:03,233 ? With the hashtag "mood" ? 672 00:35:03,258 --> 00:35:06,325 ? I hate when people call blueberries a superfood ? 673 00:35:06,350 --> 00:35:09,685 ? I hate when people say, "Ooh, it's magic hour" ? 674 00:35:09,710 --> 00:35:13,044 ? Or when people actually stop and smell a flower ? 675 00:35:13,069 --> 00:35:16,106 ? I hate white women who call their engagement rings ? 676 00:35:16,131 --> 00:35:17,798 ? "Bling," oh, yes ? 677 00:35:17,823 --> 00:35:23,627 ? I hate everything but you ? 678 00:35:23,723 --> 00:35:25,890 ? I hate the phrase "Love conquers all" ? 679 00:35:26,022 --> 00:35:27,933 ? And I hate that it's true ? 680 00:35:27,958 --> 00:35:30,825 ? 'Cause I want to not hate things when I'm with you ? 681 00:35:30,850 --> 00:35:34,385 ? You love so many things and you have so much fun ? 682 00:35:34,410 --> 00:35:39,600 ? It makes me wish my hating days were done... ? 683 00:35:39,625 --> 00:35:42,225 ? And there's one thing ? 684 00:35:42,276 --> 00:35:44,510 ? I want you to know ? 685 00:35:44,535 --> 00:35:46,469 ? ? 686 00:35:46,494 --> 00:35:48,428 ? I'll always ? 687 00:35:48,453 --> 00:35:52,537 ? Hate guys who name their cars. ? 688 00:36:03,438 --> 00:36:06,139 Ah. Ugh, no. 689 00:36:06,256 --> 00:36:08,089 I hear you, Skylar, I mean, t-this show sucks. 690 00:36:08,114 --> 00:36:09,213 I-I get it, Skylar. 691 00:36:09,238 --> 00:36:11,340 Oh, thanks, randomly overdressed crew guy. 692 00:36:11,365 --> 00:36:12,798 I appreciate it. No, I... 693 00:36:12,823 --> 00:36:15,323 Actually, I'm actually a-a recurring character on the show. 694 00:36:15,348 --> 00:36:18,116 Oh, yes, right. Uh-uh, Dennis. 695 00:36:18,141 --> 00:36:20,742 No, it's Danny, actually, that is my... name. 696 00:36:20,767 --> 00:36:22,700 Uh... you know... 697 00:36:23,261 --> 00:36:25,066 No, 'cause I-I got to tell you, 698 00:36:25,091 --> 00:36:26,735 this show's been a little rough on me, all right? 699 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,127 I-I had to hold a board for Vinnie, 700 00:36:28,152 --> 00:36:30,152 which was absolutely terrifying, and, uh... 701 00:36:30,177 --> 00:36:31,610 No, you know what? 702 00:36:31,635 --> 00:36:32,735 Uh, I-I'm taking over. 703 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,453 Bring out the full orchestra. 704 00:36:36,436 --> 00:36:38,847 Strike my mic stand, Rachel Bloom. 705 00:36:38,872 --> 00:36:41,059 Yes, sir, right away, Mr. Jolles. 706 00:36:41,084 --> 00:36:43,585 I am sorry for the disrespect. 707 00:36:45,263 --> 00:36:47,263 As you gosh-darn should, Rachel. 708 00:36:47,768 --> 00:36:50,402 Give me the coolest lights you guys got. 709 00:36:54,988 --> 00:36:57,276 This is it. It's finally my turn. 710 00:36:59,580 --> 00:37:01,547 ? It's me ? 711 00:37:01,572 --> 00:37:03,672 ? It's finally me ? 712 00:37:03,697 --> 00:37:07,203 ? And no one can say a word ? 713 00:37:07,228 --> 00:37:10,495 ? 'Cause this time, I stood up for myself ? 714 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:14,663 ? And I'll finally be heard ? 715 00:37:14,688 --> 00:37:18,014 ? Danny won't be ignored ? 716 00:37:18,039 --> 00:37:20,973 ? Danny won't be interrupted ? 717 00:37:20,998 --> 00:37:24,399 ? Because this time, oh, my God ? 718 00:37:24,424 --> 00:37:26,939 ? I finally get to fini... ? 719 00:37:26,964 --> 00:37:28,763 What? Son of a... 720 00:37:29,276 --> 00:37:30,542 Come on! 721 00:37:50,917 --> 00:37:54,319 ? For almost 30 years, I've known something was wrong ? 722 00:37:54,344 --> 00:37:56,010 ? But Mom said weakness causes bloating ? 723 00:37:56,035 --> 00:37:57,768 ? So I tried to be strong ? 724 00:37:57,968 --> 00:37:59,348 ? Fake it till you make it ? 725 00:37:59,373 --> 00:38:03,742 ? That's how I got by ? 726 00:38:03,785 --> 00:38:05,551 ? And when I tried to find the reason ? 727 00:38:05,620 --> 00:38:07,541 ? For my sadness and terror ? 728 00:38:07,566 --> 00:38:10,767 ? All the solutions were trial and error ? 729 00:38:10,835 --> 00:38:13,102 ? Take this pill, say this chant ? 730 00:38:13,127 --> 00:38:17,229 ? Move here for this guy ? 731 00:38:17,476 --> 00:38:20,109 ? But now there's no need for regret ? 732 00:38:20,134 --> 00:38:23,016 ? 'Cause I'm about to get ? 733 00:38:23,041 --> 00:38:26,289 ? A diagnosis ? 734 00:38:26,314 --> 00:38:29,675 ? A diagnosis ? 735 00:38:29,700 --> 00:38:34,603 ? Don't tell me "No, sister, you don't fit in" ? 736 00:38:36,791 --> 00:38:40,293 ? Doc, prescribe me my tribe, give me my throng ? 737 00:38:40,318 --> 00:38:43,541 ? Tell me that this whole time I've belonged ? 738 00:38:43,566 --> 00:38:46,310 ? With those other people who share ? 739 00:38:46,335 --> 00:38:50,704 ? My diagnosis ? 740 00:38:50,729 --> 00:38:53,617 ? What could it be? What could be right? ? 741 00:38:53,642 --> 00:38:56,920 ? Schizophrenic or bipolar lite? ? 742 00:38:56,945 --> 00:39:00,847 ? I've never heard voices, but maybe it's time to start ? 743 00:39:00,916 --> 00:39:03,550 - You're super cool, Rachel! - Thank you so much. 744 00:39:03,575 --> 00:39:06,863 ? Obsessives with numbers, hoarders with cats ? 745 00:39:06,888 --> 00:39:10,223 ? I could really rock a tinfoil hat ? 746 00:39:10,248 --> 00:39:15,585 ? Perfect they're not, but at least they know who they are ? 747 00:39:15,654 --> 00:39:19,677 ? No more bad pills, fads or tricks ? 748 00:39:19,702 --> 00:39:23,948 ? Who says there isn't an easy fix? ? 749 00:39:23,973 --> 00:39:26,684 ? There kind of is... ? 750 00:39:45,092 --> 00:39:48,627 ? From the moment that we learn to walk and speak ? 751 00:39:48,652 --> 00:39:51,940 ? Our parents tell us everyone's unique ? 752 00:39:51,965 --> 00:39:55,511 ? Now, I'm not saying that advice is bad... ? 753 00:39:55,536 --> 00:39:56,520 'Cause she wrote it. 754 00:39:56,536 --> 00:39:58,069 ? But honey, you're not special ? 755 00:39:58,138 --> 00:39:59,138 ? 'Cause you're sad ? 756 00:39:59,206 --> 00:40:00,416 ? Not special, no, you're not ? 757 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,307 ? The butcher, the baker ? 758 00:40:02,375 --> 00:40:03,896 ? The grocery clerk ? 759 00:40:03,921 --> 00:40:07,689 ? They're all on 20 milligrams or so ? 760 00:40:07,714 --> 00:40:11,785 ? The movers, the shakers, the happy homemakers ? 761 00:40:11,810 --> 00:40:16,094 ? You'd be surprised how many of them know ? 762 00:40:16,119 --> 00:40:19,554 ? Anti-depressants are so not a big deal ? 763 00:40:19,579 --> 00:40:21,479 ? Big whoop, you're on an anti-depressant ? 764 00:40:21,504 --> 00:40:23,170 ? Sweet cheeks, here's the deal ? 765 00:40:23,195 --> 00:40:27,064 ? Welcome to the club with open admission ? 766 00:40:27,089 --> 00:40:30,991 ? You're cast in the play that has no audition ? 767 00:40:31,016 --> 00:40:34,302 ? Yes, everyone is special, that's usually the sitch ? 768 00:40:34,327 --> 00:40:38,382 ? But when it comes to meds, you're such a basic bitch... ? 769 00:40:38,426 --> 00:40:40,359 Watch them tap, y'all, they're fabulous. 770 00:40:52,859 --> 00:40:54,659 ? Fluoxetine, Fluoxetine ? 771 00:40:54,684 --> 00:40:56,517 ? Paroxetine, paroxetine ? 772 00:40:56,542 --> 00:40:58,443 ? Our lawyers won't let us say brand names... ? 773 00:40:58,468 --> 00:41:00,168 And remember, don't be a lawyer. 774 00:41:00,193 --> 00:41:01,826 ? Okay ? 775 00:41:01,851 --> 00:41:05,754 ? Anti-depressants are so not a big deal ? 776 00:41:05,779 --> 00:41:08,446 ? Big whoop, you're on an anti-depressant ? 777 00:41:08,471 --> 00:41:10,304 ? Yawn, here's the spiel ? 778 00:41:10,329 --> 00:41:12,295 ? Some cry that in the past, we didn't medicate ? 779 00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:14,320 ? Everyone... ? Hello. 780 00:41:14,345 --> 00:41:16,490 ? Witch trials and the Crusades sound like so much fun... ? 781 00:41:16,515 --> 00:41:19,619 - Come on. - ? Anti-depressants ? 782 00:41:19,644 --> 00:41:21,581 ? Are so common ? 783 00:41:21,606 --> 00:41:25,474 ? That taking them is all we have in common. ? 784 00:41:53,955 --> 00:41:56,645 Thank you, thank you so much, 785 00:41:56,670 --> 00:41:59,313 Thank you to everyone here and everyone watching this at home. 786 00:41:59,338 --> 00:42:01,358 Thank you for loving us and singing our songs 787 00:42:01,383 --> 00:42:02,649 to your babies and your pets. 788 00:42:02,674 --> 00:42:04,787 Thank you, and have a good night. 789 00:42:06,536 --> 00:42:11,536 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com --