1 00:00:00,073 --> 00:00:04,192 Attention Cloud 9 shoppers and employees. 2 00:00:04,194 --> 00:00:06,695 I, uh... I just wanted to take this moment 3 00:00:06,697 --> 00:00:08,530 to, uh... 4 00:00:09,967 --> 00:00:13,764 Uh, to... to say goodbye. 5 00:00:14,772 --> 00:00:17,232 This is my last day as manager here. 6 00:00:17,233 --> 00:00:20,761 I am stepping down to spend more time with my family. 7 00:00:21,245 --> 00:00:22,477 Pretty emotional for a guy 8 00:00:22,479 --> 00:00:24,646 who only demoted himself to floor worker. 9 00:00:24,648 --> 00:00:26,348 Yeah, you'd think he'd mention that part. 10 00:00:26,350 --> 00:00:27,528 No, he's getting to it. 11 00:00:27,529 --> 00:00:29,751 He's been doing the same speech every hour. 12 00:00:29,753 --> 00:00:32,120 He wants to cover as many customers as possible. 13 00:00:32,122 --> 00:00:33,522 I've heard it five times. 14 00:00:33,524 --> 00:00:34,623 He's getting really good at it. 15 00:00:34,625 --> 00:00:36,692 My second family. 16 00:00:36,694 --> 00:00:39,544 While you've been helping people find light bulbs 17 00:00:39,546 --> 00:00:41,044 and paper towels, 18 00:00:41,665 --> 00:00:45,094 you've also been helping me find myself. 19 00:00:46,682 --> 00:00:49,375 Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com 20 00:00:50,607 --> 00:00:52,641 And guys, I say this a lot, 21 00:00:52,643 --> 00:00:55,491 but we really need to wet down those raccoon droppings 22 00:00:55,519 --> 00:00:56,813 before we sweep. 23 00:00:56,814 --> 00:00:58,102 Dry sweeping is the reason 24 00:00:58,103 --> 00:01:00,390 why those roundworm eggs go airborne. 25 00:01:01,563 --> 00:01:04,052 God, I just realized this is the last time 26 00:01:04,054 --> 00:01:06,955 I'm going to tell you guys to spray your droppings. 27 00:01:06,957 --> 00:01:08,423 - Aww. - And I finally get to stop 28 00:01:08,425 --> 00:01:10,492 sucking up to this guy. Right? 29 00:01:10,494 --> 00:01:11,576 That's what you've been doing? 30 00:01:11,578 --> 00:01:12,444 - Yeah. - So now 31 00:01:12,446 --> 00:01:14,396 that you're becoming a floor worker, 32 00:01:14,398 --> 00:01:15,397 what do we call you? 33 00:01:15,399 --> 00:01:16,398 Glenn's fine. 34 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,499 - Glenn? - Mm-hmm. 35 00:01:17,501 --> 00:01:18,383 Feels weird. 36 00:01:18,385 --> 00:01:20,368 Does this mean Dina's gonna be manager? 37 00:01:20,370 --> 00:01:21,603 No, thank you. 38 00:01:21,605 --> 00:01:23,113 Though I will outrank Glenn, 39 00:01:23,114 --> 00:01:25,540 who will be right below Marcus and just above Jonah. 40 00:01:25,542 --> 00:01:27,059 You rank us? 41 00:01:27,061 --> 00:01:28,253 And I'm below Marcus? 42 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,045 That's crazy. I'm the worst. 43 00:01:30,047 --> 00:01:31,346 It's that kind of self-awareness 44 00:01:31,348 --> 00:01:32,577 that keeps you a notch above Jonah. 45 00:01:32,578 --> 00:01:35,517 - So who's taking over? - Well, I'm hoping it's Amy. 46 00:01:36,987 --> 00:01:38,487 - What? - Cool! 47 00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,604 I mean, I doubt it. 48 00:01:39,605 --> 00:01:41,423 I have to get Laurie to interview me, 49 00:01:41,425 --> 00:01:42,581 and she hates me. 50 00:01:42,582 --> 00:01:44,159 Oh, I'm sure she doesn't hate you. 51 00:01:44,161 --> 00:01:46,361 Eh, she's made some comments. 52 00:01:57,975 --> 00:01:59,571 Oh, here he does. Here he goes. 53 00:01:59,572 --> 00:02:01,288 Okay, chowder's headed down south. 54 00:02:02,012 --> 00:02:04,379 - Oh, my God! - Eww! 55 00:02:08,118 --> 00:02:10,852 - Oh, God! I hate this! - Excuse me. 56 00:02:10,854 --> 00:02:12,120 One second. It's almost done. 57 00:02:12,122 --> 00:02:13,722 Oh, I think it's done now. 58 00:02:13,724 --> 00:02:15,357 Oh, hey. Hi, Laurie. 59 00:02:15,359 --> 00:02:16,925 It's, uh... uh, been a minute. 60 00:02:16,927 --> 00:02:19,995 Um, is your hair the same? 61 00:02:19,997 --> 00:02:20,669 Yes. 62 00:02:20,670 --> 00:02:22,898 Sorry, we were just watching HotNuts. 63 00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:24,289 What's HotNuts? 64 00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:27,202 YouTube guy pours hot liquids on his genitals. 65 00:02:27,204 --> 00:02:28,470 Beverages, soups. 66 00:02:28,472 --> 00:02:29,892 Hmm, sounds brilliant. 67 00:02:29,893 --> 00:02:32,107 So where should our phones be during work hours? 68 00:02:32,109 --> 00:02:35,143 - Um, in our pockets. - In your lockers. 69 00:02:35,145 --> 00:02:37,212 In our lockers, right. Yeah. 70 00:02:38,932 --> 00:02:41,316 So why don't you go do that now, okay? 71 00:02:41,735 --> 00:02:43,418 Nice to see you guys. 72 00:02:44,087 --> 00:02:45,237 Man, I really wanted to show you 73 00:02:45,239 --> 00:02:46,988 the Thanksgiving one he did. 74 00:02:46,989 --> 00:02:49,141 Ah, does he pour hot gravy down his pants? 75 00:02:49,143 --> 00:02:50,725 Yeah, but he does it with his dad. 76 00:02:50,727 --> 00:02:52,060 It's really nice. 77 00:02:54,631 --> 00:02:57,699 Gosh, you know, everything in here has a story, 78 00:02:57,701 --> 00:02:59,922 like this hole punch. 79 00:02:59,923 --> 00:03:02,537 Okay, it's only supposed to be able to do 18 pages, 80 00:03:02,539 --> 00:03:05,207 but one day, I got it to do 25. 81 00:03:05,209 --> 00:03:06,825 I went straight home 82 00:03:06,827 --> 00:03:08,710 and made love to Jerusha that day. 83 00:03:08,712 --> 00:03:10,228 Well, that's a story I'll remember. 84 00:03:10,230 --> 00:03:12,437 Oh yeah. You like it? 85 00:03:13,016 --> 00:03:14,132 You should have it. 86 00:03:14,134 --> 00:03:15,617 Oh, uh, no, I... I... 87 00:03:15,619 --> 00:03:17,786 Oh no, come on, please. You love it. Take it. 88 00:03:17,788 --> 00:03:19,654 Um, if he gets a hole punch, 89 00:03:19,656 --> 00:03:21,223 can I get this bag full of cash? 90 00:03:21,225 --> 00:03:23,658 - Whoa! - Oh, that's my rainy day fund. 91 00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:25,888 Corporate sets aside a certain amount of the budget 92 00:03:25,889 --> 00:03:27,156 for miscellaneous maintenance, 93 00:03:27,157 --> 00:03:28,413 so whenever we don't use it, 94 00:03:28,415 --> 00:03:30,352 I just take out in cash and set it aside. 95 00:03:30,353 --> 00:03:31,633 You know, just in case. 96 00:03:31,635 --> 00:03:33,847 But they think you spent this on maintenance. 97 00:03:33,848 --> 00:03:36,671 Yeah, and I would have if I needed to, but I didn't. 98 00:03:36,673 --> 00:03:38,573 So just leave it there for the next manager. 99 00:03:38,575 --> 00:03:40,775 Wait, so... so you told them 100 00:03:40,777 --> 00:03:42,110 you spent money you didn't spend. 101 00:03:42,112 --> 00:03:43,412 - Mm-hmm. - Then you... 102 00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:45,113 took the money and kept it in a bag 103 00:03:45,115 --> 00:03:46,681 hidden in your office. 104 00:03:46,683 --> 00:03:50,001 - Yeah. - Isn't that embezzlement? 105 00:03:50,003 --> 00:03:52,988 No, embezzlement is when you put jewels 106 00:03:52,990 --> 00:03:54,210 on your jacket. 107 00:03:54,211 --> 00:03:55,824 I think you mean bedazzling. 108 00:03:55,826 --> 00:03:57,217 Which is also a crime. 109 00:04:01,131 --> 00:04:04,032 Oh, hey! Laurie! What's up, girl? 110 00:04:04,034 --> 00:04:06,055 It's been, like, forever. 111 00:04:06,056 --> 00:04:08,603 How's the district manager world? 112 00:04:08,605 --> 00:04:10,672 #DMLife, right? 113 00:04:10,674 --> 00:04:13,270 Uh, I'm still doing some physical therapy 114 00:04:13,271 --> 00:04:15,374 from when you ran me over with the golf cart. 115 00:04:15,746 --> 00:04:17,315 Yup, yeah. 116 00:04:17,748 --> 00:04:21,049 Um, well, anyway, since Glenn is stepping down, 117 00:04:21,051 --> 00:04:23,919 I was wondering if, maybe, I could interview for the job. 118 00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,570 You want to be manager? 119 00:04:25,572 --> 00:04:28,690 Yeah, um, well, I've been here for 15 years, 120 00:04:28,692 --> 00:04:31,526 and I did really well in the Cloud 9 Academy. 121 00:04:31,528 --> 00:04:33,046 Oh, wow. Okay. 122 00:04:33,047 --> 00:04:34,729 You did the one day, uh, training session 123 00:04:34,731 --> 00:04:35,605 near the airport? 124 00:04:36,366 --> 00:04:38,199 I'm not sure what it being near an airport 125 00:04:38,201 --> 00:04:39,042 has to do with anything. 126 00:04:39,043 --> 00:04:40,268 I'm sorry. I would really love 127 00:04:40,269 --> 00:04:42,236 to interview you, but I actually have 128 00:04:42,239 --> 00:04:43,838 another candidate in mind, so... 129 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,241 - Oh. Okay. Great. - Yeah. 130 00:04:46,243 --> 00:04:48,326 Well, um, if that guy falls through 131 00:04:48,328 --> 00:04:50,312 or, you know, if anything else opens up, 132 00:04:50,314 --> 00:04:52,714 I... I would love to throw my hat in the ring. 133 00:04:52,716 --> 00:04:53,808 Shwoop! 134 00:04:54,434 --> 00:04:56,301 Sorry, I just touched your boob. 135 00:05:01,525 --> 00:05:03,358 Hey guys, you won't be hearing from me 136 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:04,759 for the next five hours, 137 00:05:04,761 --> 00:05:06,661 but don't worry, I haven't been kidnapped. 138 00:05:06,663 --> 00:05:08,563 I just can't use my phone. 139 00:05:08,565 --> 00:05:10,598 But if you don't hear from me after that, 140 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,069 I probably have been kidnapped, and it was probably my uncle. 141 00:05:14,071 --> 00:05:16,771 He's really nice, but just statistically... 142 00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:19,140 Stay strong. 143 00:05:19,142 --> 00:05:20,508 You'll be out before you know it. 144 00:05:24,581 --> 00:05:26,564 Oh, shoot. I forgot my phone. 145 00:05:26,566 --> 00:05:27,814 Cheyenne. 146 00:05:29,486 --> 00:05:30,853 Oh, yeah. 147 00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:36,191 Glenn, it's... it's going to be okay. 148 00:05:36,193 --> 00:05:38,276 Just... just breathe and drink your juice. 149 00:05:40,437 --> 00:05:42,618 Well, not at the same time, obviously. 150 00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,083 Maybe they won't even realize it's gone. 151 00:05:45,085 --> 00:05:47,435 They do an audit every time there's a management change 152 00:05:47,437 --> 00:05:49,404 at the store. I think they're going to notice 153 00:05:49,406 --> 00:05:51,639 $27,000 missing. 154 00:05:51,641 --> 00:05:52,640 You can't just return it? 155 00:05:52,642 --> 00:05:54,976 No, 'cause I already told them that I spent it. 156 00:05:54,978 --> 00:05:56,378 Okay, maybe this helps. 157 00:05:56,380 --> 00:05:57,501 I found this jacket online. 158 00:05:57,502 --> 00:05:59,845 It's beaded, it's exactly $27,000. 159 00:05:59,846 --> 00:06:01,282 So add to cart? 160 00:06:01,283 --> 00:06:02,838 Spending it isn't going to help. 161 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:04,131 Actually, it might. 162 00:06:04,132 --> 00:06:05,154 - What? - Yes! 163 00:06:05,922 --> 00:06:07,959 Glenn, can I borrow $2,000 for sales tax? 164 00:06:08,425 --> 00:06:10,049 - Sure. - No, not on the coat... 165 00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:12,994 that's bananas... but if you need to spend it on maintenance, 166 00:06:12,996 --> 00:06:14,929 why don't we just spend it on maintenance? 167 00:06:14,931 --> 00:06:18,333 How am I supposed to find $27,000 worth of stuff 168 00:06:18,335 --> 00:06:20,368 to repair in one day? 169 00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:22,837 There's just not that much stuff that's broken! 170 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:25,190 Well, there would be if we broke it. 171 00:06:26,843 --> 00:06:29,010 Ugh, I can't wait to have a manager 172 00:06:29,012 --> 00:06:31,079 that's not a paunchy idiot with elf hair. 173 00:06:31,081 --> 00:06:32,914 Well, it's not gonna be me. 174 00:06:32,916 --> 00:06:34,582 Laurie won't even let me interview for the job. 175 00:06:34,584 --> 00:06:37,235 She's already decided who she's hiring. 176 00:06:37,237 --> 00:06:39,320 Whoa. It sounds like you need to go 177 00:06:39,322 --> 00:06:41,527 take a big, fat 17-B on her desk. 178 00:06:41,892 --> 00:06:43,792 Eww. What are you talking about? 179 00:06:44,179 --> 00:06:46,528 Rule 17-B. 17-B? 180 00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:48,763 Come on, you know 17-B. 17-B. 181 00:06:48,765 --> 00:06:50,410 B as in boy. Rule 17-B. 182 00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:51,664 You can't just keep saying it... 183 00:06:51,665 --> 00:06:54,002 Any employee who completes the Cloud 9 Academy 184 00:06:54,004 --> 00:06:56,347 should be granted an interview if... 185 00:06:57,274 --> 00:07:00,909 if a management position becomes available at their... 186 00:07:00,911 --> 00:07:02,977 - Dina, just say it. - At their store. 187 00:07:03,543 --> 00:07:04,295 Okay? 188 00:07:04,297 --> 00:07:05,947 She literally has to let you interview. 189 00:07:05,949 --> 00:07:07,315 She's already decided who she's hiring, 190 00:07:07,317 --> 00:07:08,316 so what's the point? 191 00:07:08,318 --> 00:07:10,529 The point is you should get to make your case. 192 00:07:11,138 --> 00:07:13,219 Look, if you feel awkward asking her, 193 00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:14,976 I'm happy to come back you up. 194 00:07:16,626 --> 00:07:19,077 Laurie Neustadt, you are in violation of rule 17-B 195 00:07:19,079 --> 00:07:20,542 of Cloud 9 hiring policy. 196 00:07:20,543 --> 00:07:21,963 So you either interview Amy, 197 00:07:21,965 --> 00:07:24,132 or I file a 31-J with Kyle Robichot, 198 00:07:24,134 --> 00:07:26,968 and you do not want me filing a 31-J with Kyle Robichot. 199 00:07:26,970 --> 00:07:28,136 So that's your move? 200 00:07:28,138 --> 00:07:29,788 You're forcing me to interview you. 201 00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:31,206 - I... I... I... - Fine. 202 00:07:31,208 --> 00:07:33,224 Whatever, let's just get this over with. 203 00:07:35,178 --> 00:07:36,409 Knock 'em dead. 204 00:07:43,642 --> 00:07:46,560 So, should I start with my qualifications? 205 00:07:46,562 --> 00:07:48,479 So I don't really think that you are qualified, 206 00:07:48,481 --> 00:07:51,148 but, you know, it is your interview, so... 207 00:07:52,888 --> 00:07:55,736 Okay, all right, um, well, 208 00:07:56,199 --> 00:07:59,990 I've been at Cloud 9 for 15 years. 209 00:07:59,992 --> 00:08:05,079 I have strong relationships with the staff, and over time, 210 00:08:05,081 --> 00:08:09,333 we have really built a mutual respect and trust. 211 00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:12,419 Um, sorry, do you need a minute? 212 00:08:12,421 --> 00:08:14,288 No, I'm fine. No. Keep going. 213 00:08:16,092 --> 00:08:19,093 Okay, uh, well, as far as specifics go... 214 00:08:19,095 --> 00:08:19,960 Yo, yo, yo, it's HotNuts here. 215 00:08:19,962 --> 00:08:22,129 I've undertaken a number of initiatives. 216 00:08:22,131 --> 00:08:23,264 Uh, for starters, 217 00:08:23,266 --> 00:08:25,466 I streamlined our go-backs process 218 00:08:25,468 --> 00:08:28,602 so that we waste less time in restock, 219 00:08:29,029 --> 00:08:32,306 and also I reorganized the women's wear section 220 00:08:32,308 --> 00:08:36,143 so that basics like camisoles and strapless bras 221 00:08:36,145 --> 00:08:38,145 were easier to find during wedding season. 222 00:08:38,147 --> 00:08:39,906 Oh, God! They look really bad! 223 00:08:40,007 --> 00:08:41,527 I'm not getting this job, am I? 224 00:08:41,873 --> 00:08:42,650 No. 225 00:08:46,622 --> 00:08:49,623 Um, are you scrolling a block of cheese? 226 00:08:49,625 --> 00:08:53,327 Ugh, I miss my phone! 227 00:08:53,329 --> 00:08:54,995 Yeah, I know. Look, it's only 228 00:08:54,997 --> 00:08:56,714 a couple more hours. It's the length of a movie. 229 00:08:56,716 --> 00:08:58,499 If I can sit through "The Hitman's Bodyguard," 230 00:08:58,501 --> 00:09:00,134 I can make it through this. 231 00:09:00,136 --> 00:09:02,636 - "The Hitman's Bodyguard"? - Yeah. 232 00:09:03,226 --> 00:09:04,582 You didn't see that? Ryan Reynolds, 233 00:09:04,609 --> 00:09:06,340 Samuel I. Jackson, and uh, 234 00:09:06,721 --> 00:09:09,727 the other guy. He always plays a bad dude. 235 00:09:10,413 --> 00:09:11,611 Uh, he's British. 236 00:09:11,612 --> 00:09:13,188 - David Beckham. - No. 237 00:09:13,391 --> 00:09:14,383 He's British,. 238 00:09:14,384 --> 00:09:16,834 Yeah, I know, but that's not who I'm... 239 00:09:17,627 --> 00:09:18,709 it's, uh... oh! 240 00:09:18,710 --> 00:09:20,760 Okay, you know who I'm talking about. 241 00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:21,930 He's in everything. 242 00:09:21,931 --> 00:09:23,422 He was in Harry Potter. 243 00:09:23,423 --> 00:09:25,511 - Oh, Daniel Radcliffe! - No. 244 00:09:26,053 --> 00:09:28,483 - Daniel Radcliffe is British. - Yeah, I know. Okay? 245 00:09:29,215 --> 00:09:31,583 All right, I got a real grab bag! 246 00:09:32,103 --> 00:09:34,646 I've got hammers and wrenches, crowbars. 247 00:09:34,647 --> 00:09:36,228 What do we need a bow and arrow for? 248 00:09:36,229 --> 00:09:38,438 I don't know. It felt... of the world. 249 00:09:38,439 --> 00:09:40,833 Okay, well, where... where... where do we begin? 250 00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:42,840 I figure we'd knock 251 00:09:42,841 --> 00:09:44,068 a few holes through this wall here. 252 00:09:44,069 --> 00:09:46,295 What, no! This... this wall? 253 00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:49,435 This... this is the wall that Cody pinned me against 254 00:09:49,436 --> 00:09:51,583 when he was learning to drive the forklift. 255 00:09:51,584 --> 00:09:52,806 - Glenn, Glenn. - Come on! 256 00:09:52,807 --> 00:09:53,829 If you don't want to go to jail, 257 00:09:53,830 --> 00:09:55,409 we're gonna have to do some damage. 258 00:09:55,410 --> 00:09:56,183 Yeah. 259 00:09:57,793 --> 00:09:59,651 - All right. - Go get 'em. 260 00:10:03,292 --> 00:10:05,076 I... I think, uh, I think you wanna... 261 00:10:05,077 --> 00:10:07,105 you wanna put your back into it a little more. 262 00:10:07,887 --> 00:10:08,919 There you go. 263 00:10:08,921 --> 00:10:09,823 - Ow! - Oh, oh. 264 00:10:09,824 --> 00:10:12,532 So apparently, I'm just not qualified enough for the job. 265 00:10:12,852 --> 00:10:14,909 You're more qualified than Glenn ever was. 266 00:10:15,428 --> 00:10:16,916 Do you want me to seduce her for you? 267 00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,863 No. Thank you, though. 268 00:10:18,864 --> 00:10:20,817 Have you ever heard of something called HotNuts? 269 00:10:20,818 --> 00:10:21,975 Oh yeah, that guy's great. 270 00:10:21,976 --> 00:10:23,659 He's worth, like, 10 million dollars. 271 00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:26,008 Excuse me, folks, can everyone gather up? 272 00:10:26,842 --> 00:10:29,717 Um, I'd like to introduce you all to someone. 273 00:10:29,718 --> 00:10:32,397 This is, uh, Blaine Neustadt, 274 00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:33,993 and he's going to be taking over 275 00:10:33,994 --> 00:10:35,673 for Glenn as manager. 276 00:10:35,674 --> 00:10:38,863 You... you... uh, excuse me, Neustadt? 277 00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:40,817 As in, like, your last name? 278 00:10:40,818 --> 00:10:42,286 Uh-huh. Yeah. 279 00:10:42,553 --> 00:10:44,743 Not that it's any of your business, but yes, 280 00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,637 Glenn is my son, but that has nothing to do 281 00:10:46,638 --> 00:10:47,971 with why he got hired here. 282 00:10:47,972 --> 00:10:50,686 Wow, you do not look old enough to be her son. 283 00:10:51,043 --> 00:10:51,937 That's an odd thing to say. 284 00:10:51,938 --> 00:10:54,166 Ah, I just want to say hey everyone! 285 00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:56,600 Uh, I'm so excited to be here. 286 00:10:56,601 --> 00:10:59,154 This is so cool to be part of this great team. 287 00:10:59,155 --> 00:11:02,520 Uh, mostly I am very excited to be done doing Postmates. 288 00:11:02,521 --> 00:11:04,476 Oh, my car reeks. 289 00:11:05,318 --> 00:11:06,617 This is a good choice 290 00:11:06,618 --> 00:11:09,607 if you're looking for graphics and raw processing power. 291 00:11:09,608 --> 00:11:12,826 Um, for example, I'll just pull up my Instagram account. 292 00:11:12,827 --> 00:11:15,013 Oh, I'm just looking for a "get well" gift 293 00:11:15,014 --> 00:11:16,045 for my mother-in-law. 294 00:11:16,046 --> 00:11:18,053 She doesn't use a computer. 295 00:11:18,054 --> 00:11:20,324 What? Corona and Stacy S. 296 00:11:20,326 --> 00:11:21,959 Are hanging out at Chili's? 297 00:11:21,961 --> 00:11:23,341 I hate them! 298 00:11:23,996 --> 00:11:24,712 Like. 299 00:11:24,832 --> 00:11:27,164 Okay, so I heard that if you look directly 300 00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:29,326 into the scanner light, you instantly go blind. 301 00:11:30,019 --> 00:11:31,841 This weirdly makes me feel better, 302 00:11:31,842 --> 00:11:34,109 'cause it wasn't about me being unqualified. 303 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,815 She just wanted to hire her son. 304 00:11:35,816 --> 00:11:37,455 Yeah, but you can't let her do that. 305 00:11:37,456 --> 00:11:39,194 You need to go back up to her and tell her 306 00:11:39,195 --> 00:11:41,353 that she needs to either give you a real shot at this job, 307 00:11:41,354 --> 00:11:42,540 or you'll go to corporate and tell them 308 00:11:42,553 --> 00:11:43,932 about her little nepotism hire. 309 00:11:43,933 --> 00:11:46,411 No, I'm not gonna go tell on her like I'm 12. 310 00:11:46,412 --> 00:11:47,792 Besides, corporate doesn't care. 311 00:11:47,793 --> 00:11:49,307 It would be a waste of my time. 312 00:11:49,308 --> 00:11:51,600 Hey, um, you're the floor supervisor, right? 313 00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:52,321 Uh-huh. 314 00:11:52,322 --> 00:11:53,764 Great, awesome, um. 315 00:11:53,765 --> 00:11:55,868 Can you tell me where inventory is? 316 00:11:57,329 --> 00:12:01,207 Uh, yeah, it's sort of all around us. 317 00:12:02,909 --> 00:12:05,471 Yes, yes, thank you. 318 00:12:05,472 --> 00:12:08,072 I will... I will go look into that. Thank you. 319 00:12:13,289 --> 00:12:14,545 - Can we talk? - No! 320 00:12:14,547 --> 00:12:15,215 Oh, God. 321 00:12:15,216 --> 00:12:16,411 I'm sorry. You're busy. 322 00:12:16,412 --> 00:12:18,258 - Get out! Go! - Never mind. 323 00:12:24,037 --> 00:12:28,007 Amy! The Aiming of the Shrew. 324 00:12:28,009 --> 00:12:29,425 Hey, Laurie. 325 00:12:29,427 --> 00:12:31,210 I have been meaning to talk to you. 326 00:12:31,212 --> 00:12:34,380 I want to make you a manager. 327 00:12:34,382 --> 00:12:35,848 Um, what? 328 00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:38,267 What, uh, me? What about Blaine? 329 00:12:39,053 --> 00:12:40,886 He... Blaine's great. Um, it's just... 330 00:12:40,888 --> 00:12:42,221 you know, I've been thinking about it, 331 00:12:42,223 --> 00:12:44,557 and I looked through your file, and clearly, 332 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:46,591 you're the most qualified person here, so... 333 00:12:47,544 --> 00:12:49,028 Um, wow. 334 00:12:49,030 --> 00:12:52,231 That is a lot to take in all of a sudden. 335 00:12:52,233 --> 00:12:54,867 Big, big opportunity. 336 00:12:54,869 --> 00:12:58,715 I know, um, just before I say yes or no, 337 00:12:58,716 --> 00:13:00,072 I just want to be clear. 338 00:13:00,074 --> 00:13:02,074 Um, if you're offering it to me 339 00:13:02,076 --> 00:13:04,600 because I'm the best person for the job, then yes! 340 00:13:04,601 --> 00:13:07,129 I will take and I will be kick-ass. 341 00:13:07,131 --> 00:13:09,433 But if you're offering it to me because of... 342 00:13:11,752 --> 00:13:13,419 Then, uh, you know, you don't have to do that. 343 00:13:13,421 --> 00:13:15,304 It's not like I'm going to go tell anyone. 344 00:13:15,877 --> 00:13:17,423 Really? Wow. 345 00:13:17,874 --> 00:13:19,782 Okay. I appreciate that. 346 00:13:19,783 --> 00:13:21,427 Not too many people would do that. 347 00:13:21,429 --> 00:13:21,986 Thank you. 348 00:13:23,931 --> 00:13:25,264 Sorry, wait, I'm sorry. 349 00:13:25,266 --> 00:13:26,982 Uh, so where did we land exactly? 350 00:13:26,984 --> 00:13:29,435 - What do you mean? - Do I have the job? 351 00:13:29,437 --> 00:13:31,403 But I thought you just turned it down. 352 00:13:31,405 --> 00:13:33,238 Well, no, I mean, that just... 353 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,239 only if you were offering it to me 354 00:13:34,241 --> 00:13:35,074 because of the drug thing, 355 00:13:35,076 --> 00:13:37,109 but if you were offering it to me 356 00:13:37,111 --> 00:13:38,277 because of my abilities, 357 00:13:38,279 --> 00:13:39,171 then... 358 00:13:40,281 --> 00:13:41,400 Hmm. 359 00:13:41,999 --> 00:13:43,776 So this is awkward. 360 00:14:26,961 --> 00:14:28,961 Go, go, go. 361 00:14:39,775 --> 00:14:41,006 Okay, no. You know this guy. 362 00:14:41,008 --> 00:14:43,152 He's a British actor, he's older, 363 00:14:43,154 --> 00:14:44,143 he likes being weird, 364 00:14:44,145 --> 00:14:45,511 he's always doing stuff with his hair. 365 00:14:45,513 --> 00:14:47,179 Sometimes it's long, sometimes it's short. 366 00:14:47,608 --> 00:14:49,481 He was in Batman. Oh, uh, Christian Bale. 367 00:14:49,483 --> 00:14:51,517 No, no, no. He wasn't Batman. 368 00:14:51,519 --> 00:14:53,185 Like I said, he's older. 369 00:14:53,187 --> 00:14:55,154 Just... just look it up on your phone. 370 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,264 Michael Caine. 371 00:14:56,265 --> 00:14:58,739 No, it's not Michael... just pull up IMDB! 372 00:14:58,740 --> 00:15:00,986 Dude, it's Michael Caine! He plays the butler. 373 00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,157 Yeah, I know he plays the butler. 374 00:15:02,158 --> 00:15:03,988 - The Joker? - Yeah, 375 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:07,875 the older British actor I'm thinking of is the Joker. 376 00:15:07,877 --> 00:15:08,765 Thank you. 377 00:15:09,238 --> 00:15:10,273 I like movies. 378 00:15:11,448 --> 00:15:13,254 And then she just offered me the job. 379 00:15:13,255 --> 00:15:15,357 This is awesome! You and me, 380 00:15:15,358 --> 00:15:16,717 manager, assistant manager? 381 00:15:16,719 --> 00:15:18,836 Oh, it's going to be like we're Bush and Cheney. 382 00:15:18,838 --> 00:15:20,721 You know, I'm the brains pulling all the strings 383 00:15:20,723 --> 00:15:22,673 behind the scenes, and you're the super sexy puppet. 384 00:15:22,675 --> 00:15:25,009 What... I'm... I'm... I didn't take the job. 385 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,133 What? Why? 386 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,679 Because that's not how I wanna get the job. 387 00:15:28,681 --> 00:15:30,564 If they're going to hire me, I want it to be because 388 00:15:30,566 --> 00:15:32,016 I'm the most qualified person. 389 00:15:33,686 --> 00:15:37,313 Hey, so I guess we're just out of green beans. 390 00:15:37,314 --> 00:15:40,524 Should I get somebody to go buy more from another Cloud 9? 391 00:15:41,911 --> 00:15:43,840 Is that really what you think you should do? 392 00:15:44,523 --> 00:15:46,239 I guess. Right? 393 00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:48,866 I just hope they're not selling them for more than we are, 394 00:15:48,868 --> 00:15:50,701 or else we're losing money on this. 395 00:15:51,671 --> 00:15:52,920 Okay. 396 00:15:54,590 --> 00:15:56,565 There is a lot of damage around here. 397 00:15:56,566 --> 00:15:57,728 Yeah, I know. 398 00:15:57,729 --> 00:15:59,710 It was a gang of teenaged hoodlums. 399 00:15:59,712 --> 00:16:01,929 You know, slicked hair, leather jackets, 400 00:16:01,931 --> 00:16:03,714 combs in their back pockets. 401 00:16:03,716 --> 00:16:06,805 Uh, total, I'd say you're looking at $18,000 for repairs. 402 00:16:06,806 --> 00:16:07,624 $18,000? 403 00:16:07,625 --> 00:16:09,185 Yeah, there's a lot to do around here. 404 00:16:09,186 --> 00:16:11,322 I thought it would be more like $27,000. 405 00:16:11,891 --> 00:16:13,695 You never charge me this little. 406 00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:15,441 The truth is... 407 00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,945 I've been overbilling you for years, 408 00:16:17,947 --> 00:16:20,551 but I recently quit drinking 409 00:16:20,552 --> 00:16:22,900 and I'm trying to be a better person. 410 00:16:22,902 --> 00:16:25,736 I can do it for $15,000, but that's final. 411 00:16:25,738 --> 00:16:27,705 $15,000, but that's crazy! 412 00:16:27,707 --> 00:16:28,799 No, it's not crazy. 413 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,546 It's... it's me trying to be a better person. 414 00:16:30,547 --> 00:16:31,909 Can you go with me on this one? 415 00:16:31,911 --> 00:16:33,464 Yeah, okay. 416 00:16:42,362 --> 00:16:43,728 I'm just gonna say it. 417 00:16:43,809 --> 00:16:46,142 Blaine is sexy, but he is not a good manager. 418 00:16:46,225 --> 00:16:47,475 He keeps pointing at me and goes, 419 00:16:47,476 --> 00:16:48,593 "This guy gets it," 420 00:16:48,594 --> 00:16:50,427 and I don't. I don't get it. 421 00:16:50,429 --> 00:16:52,229 Well, none of us would have to deal with Blaine 422 00:16:52,231 --> 00:16:54,898 if someone had taken the management job 423 00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:56,433 when Laurie offered it to her. 424 00:16:56,435 --> 00:16:58,101 - What? - Uh, wait. 425 00:16:58,103 --> 00:16:59,252 She gave you the job? 426 00:16:59,253 --> 00:17:00,938 No. No. 427 00:17:02,274 --> 00:17:04,441 I mean, technically yes, she did, 428 00:17:04,443 --> 00:17:08,111 but only because I walked in on her doing something embarrassing. 429 00:17:08,113 --> 00:17:10,280 Let's just say it involved her nose and cocaine. 430 00:17:10,282 --> 00:17:11,281 What? 431 00:17:11,283 --> 00:17:12,416 Oh, my God! 432 00:17:12,418 --> 00:17:14,785 So you could've had the job, but you turned it down? 433 00:17:15,153 --> 00:17:17,287 Guys, I'm not going to blackmail my way 434 00:17:17,289 --> 00:17:18,455 into being the manager. 435 00:17:18,457 --> 00:17:20,290 I should get it because I earned it. 436 00:17:20,292 --> 00:17:21,591 Right, just like Blaine earned it 437 00:17:21,593 --> 00:17:23,460 by coming out of the district manager. 438 00:17:23,462 --> 00:17:25,462 He was born into power like Prince Charles. 439 00:17:25,464 --> 00:17:27,431 At least you're working for it like Meghan Markle. 440 00:17:27,433 --> 00:17:30,300 Anyway, your blackmail cancels out his nepotism. 441 00:17:30,302 --> 00:17:31,802 And it'd be a lot better for us. 442 00:17:31,804 --> 00:17:33,854 I mean I rather work for you than a guy my own age. 443 00:17:33,856 --> 00:17:35,087 Oh, honey. 444 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,974 You got to do what's for the greater good. 445 00:17:36,976 --> 00:17:38,859 If you could cure cancer, 446 00:17:38,861 --> 00:17:40,861 but you had to blow up a bus full of children, 447 00:17:41,392 --> 00:17:42,279 wouldn't you do it? 448 00:17:42,281 --> 00:17:44,481 I mean, I guess? 449 00:17:44,483 --> 00:17:46,014 Just take the job. 450 00:17:46,308 --> 00:17:47,317 You're not just doing it for you. 451 00:17:47,319 --> 00:17:49,035 You're doing it for all of us. 452 00:17:49,488 --> 00:17:51,455 I mean, I guess I would be better than Blaine. 453 00:17:51,457 --> 00:17:53,791 - Yeah. - Hey Amy, guess what? 454 00:17:54,209 --> 00:17:57,656 One of the kids on that bus had the cure. 455 00:17:58,664 --> 00:17:59,830 Twist ending. 456 00:18:01,656 --> 00:18:03,773 Okay, well, maybe prison won't be too bad. 457 00:18:03,775 --> 00:18:06,443 You know, maybe I can be the guy that tells the warden 458 00:18:06,445 --> 00:18:08,245 that the other guys are doing bad things 459 00:18:08,247 --> 00:18:09,927 and I'll just work my way up. 460 00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:11,960 Glenn, you're not going to go to prison, okay? 461 00:18:12,147 --> 00:18:14,905 It's fine. We... we just need to do about... 462 00:18:15,099 --> 00:18:16,898 what, 12 grand worth of damage 463 00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:18,505 - in... in the next hour. - Oh. 464 00:18:18,506 --> 00:18:20,318 We have fertilizer in the garden center. 465 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:21,029 We can make a bomb. 466 00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:22,571 I feel like going from embezzlement 467 00:18:22,572 --> 00:18:24,527 to domestic terrorism is the wrong direction. 468 00:18:24,528 --> 00:18:26,278 We could hire termites to eat the store. 469 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,530 - How do you hire termites? - I don't know, with wood? 470 00:18:28,532 --> 00:18:30,865 Guys, no. No more. 471 00:18:33,337 --> 00:18:35,287 She's been through enough. 472 00:18:41,044 --> 00:18:42,794 Gary Oldman. 473 00:18:43,214 --> 00:18:44,379 Gary Oldman! 474 00:18:44,381 --> 00:18:46,431 Yes, it's Gary Oldman! 475 00:18:46,433 --> 00:18:47,915 Oh! 476 00:18:48,552 --> 00:18:49,934 I don't know who that is. 477 00:18:54,725 --> 00:18:58,248 Hey, Laur of the Rings. 478 00:18:58,942 --> 00:19:00,061 Hello, Amy. 479 00:19:00,545 --> 00:19:02,397 Um, I was thinking a little bit more 480 00:19:02,399 --> 00:19:04,532 about... about what you said before, 481 00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:07,068 uh, regarding, you know, who is a better fit here. 482 00:19:07,070 --> 00:19:08,191 Oh, right. 483 00:19:08,192 --> 00:19:09,788 Yes, except I already told corporate 484 00:19:09,790 --> 00:19:11,365 that I gave the job to Blaine, so... 485 00:19:11,532 --> 00:19:13,644 Oh, okay. 486 00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:15,794 Uh, well, um... 487 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:19,112 speaking of... of telling things to corporate, 488 00:19:19,113 --> 00:19:20,548 just wanted to let you know that I... 489 00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:22,584 I haven't said anything to them yet 490 00:19:22,586 --> 00:19:24,419 about the, um... 491 00:19:25,922 --> 00:19:27,238 Cocaína. 492 00:19:28,518 --> 00:19:29,557 That's cocaine. 493 00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:30,774 Right. 494 00:19:31,395 --> 00:19:32,927 Um, thank you. 495 00:19:33,378 --> 00:19:35,597 Uh, you are a very good person. 496 00:19:36,841 --> 00:19:40,318 Well, I mean, am I? 497 00:19:42,559 --> 00:19:43,808 I don't know. 498 00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:46,884 I would just really hate for corporate to ever find out, 499 00:19:47,577 --> 00:19:52,530 because that would be bad, Laurie-wise. 500 00:19:54,331 --> 00:19:55,450 Are you blackmailing me? 501 00:19:55,844 --> 00:19:58,168 No. No. 502 00:19:58,169 --> 00:20:01,089 God, no. No. Sorry. 503 00:20:01,091 --> 00:20:01,917 Okay. 504 00:20:04,711 --> 00:20:06,628 Okay, yes, I am blackmailing you! 505 00:20:06,630 --> 00:20:08,463 If you don't give me the job, I will call corporate 506 00:20:08,465 --> 00:20:11,015 and tell them that you are a huge [bleep] cokehead. 507 00:20:15,439 --> 00:20:17,806 Really? That's the picture you chose? 508 00:20:17,808 --> 00:20:19,391 I had to blow up the staff photo. 509 00:20:19,393 --> 00:20:20,725 I couldn't find any other photos of you 510 00:20:20,727 --> 00:20:22,527 other than the one from Cheyenne's wedding, 511 00:20:22,529 --> 00:20:23,611 but with all the hair and makeup, 512 00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:25,029 it looked like you were trying to be a supermodel. 513 00:20:25,536 --> 00:20:27,031 Yeah. Good call. 514 00:20:27,033 --> 00:20:28,232 I think it looks good, 515 00:20:29,369 --> 00:20:30,172 Boss. 516 00:20:33,657 --> 00:20:35,907 Well, I'm sorry we couldn't get you all the way. 517 00:20:35,909 --> 00:20:37,709 Yeah, but you tried your best, 518 00:20:37,711 --> 00:20:39,377 and I really appreciate that. 519 00:20:39,379 --> 00:20:40,663 Are you gonna be okay? 520 00:20:40,664 --> 00:20:42,163 Yup, don't worry about me. 521 00:20:42,165 --> 00:20:44,132 Everything's gonna be just fine. 522 00:20:47,137 --> 00:20:49,087 I can't believe he's not freaking out. 523 00:20:49,089 --> 00:20:50,755 Yeah, well, I mean, 524 00:20:50,757 --> 00:20:52,390 once you finally decide to tell the truth... 525 00:20:52,392 --> 00:20:53,258 wait, what's he... 526 00:20:53,260 --> 00:20:55,093 - Whoa, no, stop! - No, no, no, no, no! 527 00:20:57,397 --> 00:20:58,680 Oh! 528 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,219 Glenn! 529 00:21:01,985 --> 00:21:03,485 - Oh, my God, Glenn! - Are you okay? 530 00:21:05,405 --> 00:21:07,021 That ought to cover it, right? 531 00:21:08,024 --> 00:21:10,692 - Yeah, pretty much. - Uh-huh. Yeah. 532 00:21:10,694 --> 00:21:13,144 Yeah, I thought so.