1 00:00:00,055 --> 00:00:01,755 ? Meet Rebecca ? 2 00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:05,971 ? She's the coolest girl in the world, wait ? 3 00:00:05,996 --> 00:00:09,331 ? Wrong Rebecca ? 4 00:00:09,804 --> 00:00:11,789 ? It's this one over here ? 5 00:00:11,814 --> 00:00:14,681 ? She's spunky, she's sweet, a generous friend ? 6 00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:17,117 ? Oh, but there she looks kind of mean ? 7 00:00:17,186 --> 00:00:18,852 Hmm. ? Okay, she's snarky ? 8 00:00:18,921 --> 00:00:20,921 ? Sarcastic and a... What? ? 9 00:00:20,990 --> 00:00:24,791 ? You know, we're not really seeing a common theme ? 10 00:00:24,860 --> 00:00:27,694 ? Meet Rebecca ? 11 00:00:27,763 --> 00:00:30,664 ? She's too hard to summarize ? 12 00:00:30,733 --> 00:00:34,000 ? So let's go back to Other Rebecca. ? 13 00:00:35,414 --> 00:00:37,815 See? Perfection is an illusion. 14 00:00:40,210 --> 00:00:42,386 Oh, did I have a thing? Thank you. I could feel it. 15 00:00:42,411 --> 00:00:43,585 Right there. 16 00:00:43,609 --> 00:00:45,788 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 17 00:00:52,648 --> 00:00:55,222 Do you still make those candy cane mochas? 18 00:00:55,324 --> 00:00:57,265 I know the holidays are almost over, 19 00:00:57,290 --> 00:01:00,104 but what the hell, I'm gonna treat myself. 20 00:01:00,129 --> 00:01:02,085 Okay. Thank you. 21 00:01:05,645 --> 00:01:08,990 - Hi. - Oh! God. 22 00:01:10,216 --> 00:01:11,715 Okay, let's just put it out there. 23 00:01:11,740 --> 00:01:13,685 I've retired from stalking, but you never lose the skills. 24 00:01:13,709 --> 00:01:14,641 You know? 25 00:01:14,710 --> 00:01:16,143 I'm sorry to violate your boundaries 26 00:01:16,211 --> 00:01:17,411 and your morning speed walk, 27 00:01:17,479 --> 00:01:19,146 but, um, ha, it's an emergency. 28 00:01:19,214 --> 00:01:20,280 Dr. Akopian... 29 00:01:21,359 --> 00:01:22,816 do you watch The Bachelor? 30 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:24,128 Huh? 31 00:01:24,153 --> 00:01:25,986 Look, you know I've been indecisive about 32 00:01:26,055 --> 00:01:27,788 the whole Josh, Nathaniel, Greg thing. 33 00:01:27,856 --> 00:01:29,189 Well, they proposed that I go 34 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,491 on a final date with each of them, 35 00:01:30,559 --> 00:01:31,658 like The Bachelor. 36 00:01:31,727 --> 00:01:33,927 And then, I choose. Like The Bachelor. 37 00:01:34,039 --> 00:01:36,673 - Here you go. - I know it's weird, and it's insane, 38 00:01:36,698 --> 00:01:37,809 and it's dumb, and it's lame, 39 00:01:37,833 --> 00:01:39,433 again, like The Bachelor... 40 00:01:39,458 --> 00:01:42,946 so, it's bad, right? I shouldn't do it? 41 00:01:42,971 --> 00:01:45,172 Do you forbid me from doing it? 42 00:01:48,322 --> 00:01:49,355 Well, 43 00:01:49,611 --> 00:01:52,093 um, it's consensual, right? 44 00:01:52,118 --> 00:01:54,548 And it's their idea? 45 00:01:54,659 --> 00:01:55,692 Yeah. 46 00:01:55,717 --> 00:01:57,651 You go into it with clear expectations, 47 00:01:57,676 --> 00:02:00,937 might be helpful to settle on how you feel. 48 00:02:02,391 --> 00:02:04,157 Really? Wow. 49 00:02:04,182 --> 00:02:06,537 Just don't get into any jacuzzi slap-fights. 50 00:02:08,835 --> 00:02:12,666 Rebecca, as long as you stay grounded and present and open... 51 00:02:12,691 --> 00:02:14,515 I think I can be all those things, yeah. 52 00:02:14,903 --> 00:02:17,265 Then I don't think there's any big harm in it. 53 00:02:18,757 --> 00:02:20,595 Oh, good. 'Cause I already told them I'd do it anyway, 54 00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:22,920 and I got to make a decision by next Thursday. 55 00:02:22,945 --> 00:02:24,611 You do realize 56 00:02:24,636 --> 00:02:25,756 that next Thursday 57 00:02:25,781 --> 00:02:27,848 is Valentine's Day, by the way? 58 00:02:27,916 --> 00:02:30,083 Oh, I do. It's apt, right? 59 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,109 It's, uh, it's rather apt. 60 00:02:33,145 --> 00:02:34,644 So, what are you drinking? 61 00:02:36,754 --> 00:02:38,287 Can I have my morning back now? 62 00:02:38,312 --> 00:02:40,545 Absolutely. I'll see you for my appointment later today. 63 00:02:43,132 --> 00:02:44,575 Look at this chair, though. 64 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:45,600 It's like, 65 00:02:45,711 --> 00:02:47,411 I'm a little lady 66 00:02:47,436 --> 00:02:48,535 in a big chair. 67 00:02:48,703 --> 00:02:50,437 I'm a little lady waiting for their mommy. 68 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,228 You know? Okay. Bye. 69 00:02:52,494 --> 00:02:53,937 Oh. 70 00:02:54,443 --> 00:02:56,676 Bunch and Akops, back together again! 71 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:02,773 All right, let's get started. 72 00:03:02,951 --> 00:03:04,551 Now we've all agreed that there should be 73 00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:05,830 some ground rules for this thing, 74 00:03:05,854 --> 00:03:07,031 so I'll give you my suggestions first. 75 00:03:07,055 --> 00:03:08,755 I think there needs to be a spending limit. 76 00:03:08,868 --> 00:03:09,800 Hold on. 77 00:03:09,984 --> 00:03:13,193 - Not fair. - Uh, that's a great idea. 78 00:03:13,262 --> 00:03:14,861 It's not fair you're a billionaire, 79 00:03:14,886 --> 00:03:17,141 and you can, like, whisk her off anywhere in the world. 80 00:03:17,166 --> 00:03:18,098 Mm-hmm. 81 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,443 That's exactly right. 82 00:03:19,468 --> 00:03:22,302 So let's say a spending cap of... $50? 83 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:24,014 What? No. 84 00:03:24,039 --> 00:03:26,673 What can you do with $50? Park? 85 00:03:26,898 --> 00:03:29,186 Agreed. $50. 86 00:03:29,211 --> 00:03:30,377 Fine. Fine. 87 00:03:30,445 --> 00:03:33,062 Okay, then the next rule is... 88 00:03:33,649 --> 00:03:35,081 everyone keeps their shirts on. 89 00:03:35,150 --> 00:03:37,050 - Mm-hmm. - What? No way. No. 90 00:03:37,119 --> 00:03:38,952 No. Okay, I'm on a shred right now. 91 00:03:39,021 --> 00:03:40,387 My trainer always says, 92 00:03:40,412 --> 00:03:42,179 "When you're on a cut, you got to strut." 93 00:03:42,204 --> 00:03:44,154 That's a good point. Shirts stay on. 94 00:03:44,179 --> 00:03:45,592 So that eliminates 95 00:03:45,661 --> 00:03:48,929 your advantage, Josh, and yours as well, Nathaniel. 96 00:03:48,954 --> 00:03:51,890 Which leaves, uh, Greg... 97 00:03:52,835 --> 00:03:55,669 whose advantage is... 98 00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:56,773 Yeah, what is your thing? 99 00:03:56,798 --> 00:03:59,506 Yeah, what is the thing you do that's, like, good? 100 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:02,565 I do nothing. That's my special charm. 101 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:05,390 Aw, no. Don't sell yourself short, bud. 102 00:04:05,415 --> 00:04:08,825 You're great at, um, little remarks and comments. 103 00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:10,750 Oh, yeah, ladies love remarks and comments, 104 00:04:10,819 --> 00:04:12,419 and they go nuts for asides. 105 00:04:12,444 --> 00:04:15,112 Look, you're right. You don't need to neutralize me. 106 00:04:15,176 --> 00:04:18,076 Next to you two, I lose every day of the week. 107 00:04:18,122 --> 00:04:19,321 Or do I? 108 00:04:24,199 --> 00:04:27,039 Heating up. 109 00:04:30,460 --> 00:04:32,839 Hi. Hi, hi, hi. 110 00:04:32,908 --> 00:04:34,541 Thank you for meeting me for breakfast. 111 00:04:34,610 --> 00:04:36,250 Oh, my God, Kevin's new breakfast specials 112 00:04:36,311 --> 00:04:37,544 are a huge hit. 113 00:04:37,613 --> 00:04:39,846 Take one dollar off anything, people lose their minds. 114 00:04:39,871 --> 00:04:42,843 Oh, I'm so sorry I can't do girl group lunches anymore. 115 00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:45,308 My new job, I actually have to show up to work. 116 00:04:45,333 --> 00:04:47,187 I also can't drive carpool, watch TV, 117 00:04:47,256 --> 00:04:48,622 or take a bath during the day. 118 00:04:48,690 --> 00:04:50,290 You take a bath during the day? 119 00:04:50,315 --> 00:04:51,414 Not anymore. 120 00:04:51,570 --> 00:04:53,904 Now I barely have time to shave my armpits. 121 00:04:53,929 --> 00:04:56,630 I am full European hitchhiker under this fancy blazer. 122 00:04:56,698 --> 00:05:00,600 And... I am barely making the standard marital sex quota, 123 00:05:00,625 --> 00:05:02,124 four times a week. 124 00:05:03,281 --> 00:05:04,404 No, I know. 125 00:05:04,726 --> 00:05:07,217 I know, I know, it's embarrassing. 126 00:05:07,242 --> 00:05:08,842 We used to be so sexual. 127 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:12,633 Well, I'm glad you're here, because we need to discuss 128 00:05:12,658 --> 00:05:14,858 the real-life dating show unfolding in front of us, 129 00:05:14,883 --> 00:05:17,517 - Rebecca's three dates. - Yeah, mm, 130 00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:19,429 I don't know, though, if we should be gossiping 131 00:05:19,454 --> 00:05:21,154 about Rebecca's love life. 132 00:05:21,179 --> 00:05:23,567 I mean, look, I learned a long time ago that 133 00:05:23,592 --> 00:05:26,526 Rebecca's dating life is not my entertainment. 134 00:05:26,551 --> 00:05:29,306 So, I just, you know, it's just not healthy 135 00:05:29,331 --> 00:05:31,187 for either of us. 136 00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:34,045 That's really, really good, Paula. So we'll talk about it, 137 00:05:34,070 --> 00:05:35,303 - and you can listen. - Mm-hmm. 138 00:05:35,328 --> 00:05:38,171 So, Heath, who do you think she'll pick? 139 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:39,240 Okay. So... 140 00:05:39,308 --> 00:05:41,031 - Josh! - What? 141 00:05:41,063 --> 00:05:43,286 Okay, okay. I have come full circle on this; 142 00:05:43,311 --> 00:05:44,988 it has to be Josh, and let me tell you why. 143 00:05:45,013 --> 00:05:47,147 And then afterwards, I will never say anything ever. 144 00:05:47,215 --> 00:05:51,217 She and Josh have such an incredible history. 145 00:05:51,286 --> 00:05:53,086 And he's so evolved now. 146 00:05:53,155 --> 00:05:57,200 It is Team Josh! Okay, I'm done, I'm done. 147 00:05:57,225 --> 00:05:58,773 I'm not talking anymore. 148 00:05:58,798 --> 00:06:01,261 - Okay, that is insane. That is crazy talking. - Mm-hmm. 149 00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:03,063 Guys, it's got to be Nathaniel. 150 00:06:03,131 --> 00:06:05,965 Yeah, I know I used to think she was meant to be with Greg, 151 00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,858 but then Nathaniel became an actual decent person. 152 00:06:08,904 --> 00:06:10,103 Okay, volunteering 153 00:06:10,172 --> 00:06:12,205 at the jail. He tipped my staff 154 00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:13,596 a hundred bucks each at Christmas. 155 00:06:13,621 --> 00:06:15,320 Then I heard he put on that prince costume 156 00:06:15,344 --> 00:06:18,278 and sang Rebecca's rewritten song in that dumb play thing? 157 00:06:18,303 --> 00:06:20,157 If that's not love, what is? 158 00:06:20,182 --> 00:06:22,582 Also, he's so hot in an Armie Hammer kind of way. 159 00:06:22,607 --> 00:06:24,761 Call me by his name, know what I'm saying? 160 00:06:24,786 --> 00:06:25,863 I can't believe this. 161 00:06:25,887 --> 00:06:27,031 You used to agree with me about Greg. 162 00:06:27,055 --> 00:06:28,299 Okay, you want to talk about change? 163 00:06:28,323 --> 00:06:31,193 Let's talk about change. Greg has also changed a ton. 164 00:06:31,218 --> 00:06:33,816 He is practically a completely different actor now. 165 00:06:33,841 --> 00:06:34,985 And of course I'm saying "actor" 166 00:06:35,010 --> 00:06:36,507 in the political and legal sense. 167 00:06:37,299 --> 00:06:38,443 And ladies, let's not forget, 168 00:06:38,467 --> 00:06:41,468 - Josh left her at the altar. - Right, so listen, 169 00:06:41,493 --> 00:06:43,560 if you circle back to Nathaniel... 170 00:06:43,672 --> 00:06:45,672 Oh, come on... Nathaniel, the cheater? 171 00:06:45,741 --> 00:06:48,274 He made a Tanya out of my Rebecca. 172 00:06:48,343 --> 00:06:51,311 It is Josh, it is Josh, I would put money on it. 173 00:06:51,336 --> 00:06:53,447 Well, I think we learned in Vegas you'd put money on anything, 174 00:06:53,472 --> 00:06:55,459 but you know what? So would I. 175 00:06:55,484 --> 00:06:58,585 I would put actual cash, American, hard currency, 176 00:06:58,610 --> 00:07:00,630 dollars, on it being Nathaniel. 177 00:07:00,655 --> 00:07:02,489 Well, so would I. On Greg. 178 00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:05,001 Wait, wait, wait. Are you guys talking about 179 00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,914 putting money on this whole triple-date thing? 180 00:07:06,939 --> 00:07:09,553 - We want in. - Are we really doing this? 'Cause I have 181 00:07:09,578 --> 00:07:11,598 a state-of-the-art odds board I want to use 182 00:07:11,623 --> 00:07:13,401 on the Super Bowl, Oscars and National Spelling Bee. 183 00:07:13,468 --> 00:07:15,435 That sweetie is ready to roll! 184 00:07:17,362 --> 00:07:20,663 I'm so excited, I'd like to bet my entire life on Nathaniel. 185 00:07:20,688 --> 00:07:23,653 Ooh, I don't have cash, but I do have Swiss francs. 186 00:07:24,679 --> 00:07:26,012 I always carry them with me. 187 00:07:26,037 --> 00:07:27,303 In case the economy collapses. 188 00:07:30,685 --> 00:07:32,619 There's no exchange rate, so it's just one... 189 00:07:32,644 --> 00:07:35,109 Oh, wow, are we actually gambling 190 00:07:35,134 --> 00:07:36,400 on our friend's love life? 191 00:07:36,425 --> 00:07:38,625 I mean, it is happening, whether we do it or not. 192 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:40,202 I've spent so much time and energy on Rebecca's drama, 193 00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:41,872 the least I can do is make money off of it. 194 00:07:41,897 --> 00:07:43,596 Okay, how much? How much? 195 00:07:43,665 --> 00:07:45,386 A hundred down for my man Nathaniel. 196 00:07:47,469 --> 00:07:49,736 We got a hundred down on Nathaniel. 197 00:07:49,805 --> 00:07:52,272 Uh, what's going on here? 198 00:07:55,277 --> 00:07:56,476 Who's got twenties? 199 00:07:56,501 --> 00:07:58,634 People are talking about betting on the three dates. 200 00:07:58,791 --> 00:08:01,291 - It's messed up. - Unbelievable. 201 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:02,726 Hey! 202 00:08:02,751 --> 00:08:05,071 Hey! Hey, stop it! 203 00:08:05,096 --> 00:08:07,864 Stop it, you animals. What is wrong with all of you? 204 00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:09,433 These are your best friends. 205 00:08:09,458 --> 00:08:12,425 These people are human beings with feelings, 206 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,234 and you're using them to make money. 207 00:08:16,351 --> 00:08:17,664 Ugh. 208 00:08:17,732 --> 00:08:19,734 ? ? 209 00:08:19,759 --> 00:08:23,303 ? How dare you play with love ? 210 00:08:23,371 --> 00:08:26,390 ? Have you no decency? ? 211 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,600 ? Love is what created ? 212 00:08:29,625 --> 00:08:33,223 ? Him and him and her and me ? 213 00:08:33,291 --> 00:08:34,991 ? How dare you ? 214 00:08:35,016 --> 00:08:37,000 ? Play with love ? 215 00:08:37,319 --> 00:08:40,220 ? Is nothing sacred to you, lady sir? ? 216 00:08:40,288 --> 00:08:41,988 I think the word is just "ma'am." 217 00:08:42,057 --> 00:08:43,357 ? Love is what ? 218 00:08:43,382 --> 00:08:47,404 ? Unites me and you and him and her ? 219 00:08:47,429 --> 00:08:50,730 ? And him and him and me as well ? 220 00:08:53,568 --> 00:08:56,369 ? JK, LOL ? 221 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:01,039 Let's do this! 222 00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:04,175 ? ? 223 00:09:09,618 --> 00:09:13,186 ? Love's not a game, love's not a game ? 224 00:09:13,255 --> 00:09:16,189 ? None of us would ever say love's a game ? 225 00:09:16,214 --> 00:09:17,847 ? That would be bad ? 226 00:09:17,872 --> 00:09:19,503 ? You can be sure-a ? 227 00:09:19,528 --> 00:09:24,158 ? But I'm in the mood to wear this cool fedora ? 228 00:09:26,127 --> 00:09:29,314 ? Love's not a game, love's not a game ? 229 00:09:29,768 --> 00:09:32,949 ? We would never play with love like it's a game ? 230 00:09:32,974 --> 00:09:34,507 ? But if we did ? 231 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,332 ? And that would be wrong ? 232 00:09:36,357 --> 00:09:38,955 ? We'd put 30 bucks down that Josh has the biggest schlong ? 233 00:09:38,980 --> 00:09:40,770 Oh, interesting. I'll double that. 234 00:09:40,795 --> 00:09:41,927 I'll triple that! 235 00:09:44,819 --> 00:09:48,421 ? Love is not Olympians sprinting down courses ? 236 00:09:48,490 --> 00:09:51,758 ? They're our dear friends, they are not horses ? 237 00:09:51,826 --> 00:09:54,360 _ 238 00:09:54,429 --> 00:09:57,797 ? Their love is pure, groom meets bride ? 239 00:09:57,866 --> 00:10:01,034 ? So we'd never soil it with a death pool on the side ? 240 00:10:01,102 --> 00:10:04,304 Josh, age 52, parasailing accident. 241 00:10:04,329 --> 00:10:06,396 That's so smart. Same. 242 00:10:08,910 --> 00:10:12,312 ? Love's an end game but it's not a game ? 243 00:10:12,337 --> 00:10:15,372 ? Our mouths keep saying that but our hands need change ? 244 00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:19,095 ? Put 30 on red, poetically ? 245 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:21,821 ? For red's the color of a heart that beats free ? 246 00:10:21,934 --> 00:10:24,401 Red is also Greg. I-It's Greg. 247 00:10:24,426 --> 00:10:25,792 ? We definitely shouldn't do this ? 248 00:10:25,860 --> 00:10:27,220 ? We definitely shouldn't do this ? 249 00:10:27,262 --> 00:10:28,528 ? This is bad, this is bad ? 250 00:10:28,597 --> 00:10:30,844 ? We're going to hell, this is bad ? 251 00:10:30,869 --> 00:10:34,044 ? I will give my counsel as a graduate of priest school... ? 252 00:10:34,069 --> 00:10:35,802 - Preschool? - No. Priest school. 253 00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:37,303 Oh. 254 00:10:37,328 --> 00:10:40,383 ? I just talked to Jesus, and he said that it's cool ? 255 00:10:40,408 --> 00:10:43,916 ? Jesus said it's cool... ? 256 00:10:51,353 --> 00:10:54,520 What? Okay, thanks. 257 00:10:54,545 --> 00:10:56,579 Okay, sure. 258 00:10:56,604 --> 00:10:58,947 Mm-hmm. Sure. 259 00:11:00,595 --> 00:11:03,463 Bills, bills! Broadway playbills. 260 00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:07,369 Flops only appreciate over time. 261 00:11:08,666 --> 00:11:10,213 Odds! Sixes! 262 00:11:10,238 --> 00:11:12,305 Dice! Monogamy! 263 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,875 ? Love's not a game, love's not a game ? 264 00:11:23,084 --> 00:11:26,653 ? That being said, let's make it rain ? 265 00:11:26,721 --> 00:11:29,522 ? While Cupid flies in from above ? 266 00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:34,193 ? The group mind has decided to bet on love ? 267 00:11:34,262 --> 00:11:36,440 ? Love's not a game, love's not a game, love's not a game ? 268 00:11:36,464 --> 00:11:41,189 ? Josh should be wary of para-sails. ? 269 00:11:48,424 --> 00:11:50,463 Okay, so I'm confused. How does this work? 270 00:11:50,488 --> 00:11:51,565 How do I know if I'm winning? 271 00:11:51,590 --> 00:11:52,791 Well, on this board here, 272 00:11:52,816 --> 00:11:54,949 - we've got Greg, Nathaniel and Josh. - Okay. 273 00:11:54,974 --> 00:11:56,283 And as the dates unfold and we get 274 00:11:56,308 --> 00:11:58,074 more information and new bets come in, 275 00:11:58,099 --> 00:11:59,400 Kevin will input the data, 276 00:11:59,425 --> 00:12:01,827 and the odds will be recalculated on the computer. 277 00:12:02,479 --> 00:12:05,439 Whoever's on the top is the favorite. 278 00:12:05,464 --> 00:12:06,864 Hmm, okay, so, 279 00:12:06,889 --> 00:12:08,622 - Nathaniel's on top. - Yes, but that means 280 00:12:08,647 --> 00:12:11,252 that Greg is an underdog, and that pays out more. 281 00:12:11,463 --> 00:12:12,825 Well, that's great, so then Greg's good. 282 00:12:12,849 --> 00:12:14,115 - Mm-hmm. - Okay, great. 283 00:12:14,140 --> 00:12:15,585 - Mm-hmm. - All right, well, I have to go. 284 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,521 I got to sell some of my expired cosmetics to my relatives 285 00:12:17,546 --> 00:12:19,346 so I can raise more money to bet on him. 286 00:12:20,623 --> 00:12:22,223 Here comes Greg. 287 00:12:22,248 --> 00:12:23,947 Kevin, you may not want him to see this. 288 00:12:23,972 --> 00:12:25,238 I got you. 289 00:12:25,262 --> 00:12:27,262 _ 290 00:12:27,297 --> 00:12:30,264 So what do you have planned for your date with Rebecca? 291 00:12:30,289 --> 00:12:33,813 - Not a ton. - Greg, seriously, listen to me. 292 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:36,437 You know that Josh and Nathaniel are gonna pull out 293 00:12:36,462 --> 00:12:38,447 all the stops on these dates. 294 00:12:38,472 --> 00:12:41,143 They're gonna get things like hot air balloons and sailboats 295 00:12:41,168 --> 00:12:42,935 and-and unicorns. 296 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,059 Unicorns, Hector? 297 00:12:44,084 --> 00:12:46,084 They're gonna get multiple unicorns? 298 00:12:46,109 --> 00:12:48,119 Maybe. Uh... what are you gonna do? 299 00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,197 Pick her up in your crappy car and take her 300 00:12:50,222 --> 00:12:51,855 - to the drive-through? - Maybe. 301 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,408 You just can't. 302 00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:55,825 You got to think of something great. 303 00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:57,658 I really don't think I need to. 304 00:12:57,683 --> 00:12:59,883 And that's not me being cocky, that's just me knowing 305 00:12:59,908 --> 00:13:01,861 in my heart when I'm right for someone. 306 00:13:01,886 --> 00:13:05,854 I don't need to do any of that goofy "romantic stuff." 307 00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:07,802 Hey, look at us, 308 00:13:07,827 --> 00:13:10,830 on time for your last baseball game. 309 00:13:11,405 --> 00:13:13,906 Oh, a couple of moms are late. 310 00:13:14,488 --> 00:13:17,502 Yeah, like, where's Cindy McCadden? Like, where is she? 311 00:13:17,573 --> 00:13:19,908 She's probably on Chardonnay time, you know what I'm saying? 312 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,493 Oh, they say working moms drop the ball, 313 00:13:21,518 --> 00:13:24,313 and yet, behold, here I am. 314 00:13:24,338 --> 00:13:25,837 Can one have it all? 315 00:13:25,862 --> 00:13:28,296 Nay, I say yes, young Thomas, 316 00:13:28,791 --> 00:13:31,854 if one tries hard enough. 317 00:13:32,236 --> 00:13:33,283 What's that? 318 00:13:33,308 --> 00:13:35,768 Think it's the, uh, sign-up for the banquet dinner. 319 00:13:35,793 --> 00:13:38,076 - Everyone's got to bring something. - Ah, that's no problem. 320 00:13:38,312 --> 00:13:39,745 Let me sign up for something easy, 321 00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:42,337 like paper plates and plastic cutlery. 322 00:13:42,369 --> 00:13:43,853 Are you out of your mind? 323 00:13:43,963 --> 00:13:46,211 Do you really think plastic cutlery is still available? 324 00:13:46,236 --> 00:13:48,219 I got here this morning at 9:00, 325 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:51,516 and I had to sign up to make kosher scones. 326 00:13:51,541 --> 00:13:54,138 Yeah. One Jew on our team, and I have to bake 327 00:13:54,207 --> 00:13:56,477 under the supervision of a rabbi. 328 00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,869 Cindy McCadden got plastic cutlery, 329 00:13:58,937 --> 00:14:01,324 because she slept outside the front door. 330 00:14:01,349 --> 00:14:03,283 Oh, ladies. 331 00:14:03,308 --> 00:14:06,343 Hi. Louise, good luck with those scones. 332 00:14:06,411 --> 00:14:08,345 I can give you Moyshe's number if you like. 333 00:14:08,413 --> 00:14:11,014 Cindy, what... what's left? 334 00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:12,759 What's left on the list? 335 00:14:16,854 --> 00:14:18,286 Oh, my God. 336 00:14:18,311 --> 00:14:20,244 Get out of my way! 337 00:14:20,357 --> 00:14:22,290 Oh, my God. 338 00:14:22,315 --> 00:14:24,203 Cantaloupe wedges, taken; 339 00:14:24,228 --> 00:14:26,828 votive candles, taken; string cheese, taken? 340 00:14:26,853 --> 00:14:29,221 Mom, this is the only one left. 341 00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:32,400 "Salmon for 60"? 342 00:14:32,425 --> 00:14:34,533 - Ooh. - Ouch. 343 00:14:35,095 --> 00:14:37,729 Hey, uh, Paula, is everything okay? 344 00:14:37,797 --> 00:14:39,030 Sorry, Greg, 345 00:14:39,099 --> 00:14:41,099 no... I-I don't have time to talk right now, Greg. 346 00:14:41,124 --> 00:14:43,102 - I was just trying to, uh... - No, no, no, no, you don't understand. 347 00:14:43,127 --> 00:14:45,338 I-I got to get... Yeah, nope. 348 00:14:47,572 --> 00:14:49,951 - Whoa, what was all that about? - I don't know. 349 00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,442 I was just trying to say hi. 350 00:14:51,554 --> 00:14:52,887 Yeah, she seemed preoccupied. 351 00:14:52,912 --> 00:14:54,011 Yeah, that's probably it. 352 00:14:54,036 --> 00:14:55,936 It's not like she doesn't like me. 353 00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:58,593 Though, we have had our ups and downs. 354 00:14:58,618 --> 00:15:00,318 Don't go out with Greg. 355 00:15:00,343 --> 00:15:02,931 Greg is just a whiny little bitch. 356 00:15:02,956 --> 00:15:04,589 You're sleeping with Greg?! 357 00:15:04,614 --> 00:15:07,302 Sarcastic, alcoholic, unromantic Greg? 358 00:15:07,327 --> 00:15:10,595 He is completely shut down, and he is angry. 359 00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:12,479 Paula, I get it. You don't like Greg. 360 00:15:15,111 --> 00:15:17,823 Huh. Well, you might want to get into the ups, 361 00:15:17,848 --> 00:15:20,215 because she and Rebecca are total besties. 362 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,800 - Uh-huh. - You're in a tight race right now, 363 00:15:21,841 --> 00:15:22,907 and that could tip it. 364 00:15:22,932 --> 00:15:26,054 Well, I don't think I need to, or do I? 365 00:15:26,122 --> 00:15:27,555 Well, you got stiff competition. 366 00:15:27,580 --> 00:15:29,380 She's on date number one with Josh tonight, 367 00:15:29,405 --> 00:15:32,127 and that guy's got a black belt in romance. 368 00:15:32,152 --> 00:15:33,651 Hmm. 369 00:15:37,690 --> 00:15:39,549 Oh. 370 00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:45,306 Here I am, and I am staying grounded 371 00:15:45,549 --> 00:15:47,098 and realistic. 372 00:15:47,123 --> 00:15:49,767 - What? - No, Josh, uh, just hold... hold on. 373 00:15:49,792 --> 00:15:51,692 Okay, R-Rebecca, it's okay. 374 00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:53,448 Re-center. 375 00:15:53,473 --> 00:15:55,773 - And just breathe. - What is it? 376 00:15:55,885 --> 00:15:58,686 Josh, I'll just be one second, just one... I'm... 377 00:15:58,711 --> 00:16:00,111 I'm centered, I'm present, I'm here. 378 00:16:01,839 --> 00:16:03,105 You ready? 379 00:16:04,682 --> 00:16:05,593 Yeah. 380 00:16:23,455 --> 00:16:25,455 What? 381 00:16:30,477 --> 00:16:31,810 Oh... 382 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,813 Oh, my God. 383 00:16:36,716 --> 00:16:38,422 It's summer camp. 384 00:16:39,596 --> 00:16:41,963 - Oh, wow. - Like it? 385 00:16:41,988 --> 00:16:44,155 Yeah. 386 00:16:44,268 --> 00:16:46,201 - First... - Hmm? 387 00:16:46,226 --> 00:16:48,593 We dine alfresco. 388 00:16:48,770 --> 00:16:51,091 Oh. 389 00:16:54,995 --> 00:16:57,708 Let's, let's see... 390 00:16:58,014 --> 00:17:00,481 - Mmm. - That just tastes so good. 391 00:17:00,506 --> 00:17:02,707 - Mmm. - Mmm. 392 00:17:02,732 --> 00:17:05,133 You know what, seriously, I-I hope the hot dogs are okay. 393 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:07,158 - Yeah. - I spent most of my money on the tent, 394 00:17:07,513 --> 00:17:10,325 I borrowed fake grass from my mom's lawn. 395 00:17:10,350 --> 00:17:12,116 Hope that's not cheating. 396 00:17:12,141 --> 00:17:13,494 No, it's not. I would say 397 00:17:13,519 --> 00:17:15,853 it's acceptably within the guidelines. 398 00:17:15,965 --> 00:17:18,299 Okay, good. 399 00:17:18,324 --> 00:17:20,224 It's nice to go into the past like this. 400 00:17:20,336 --> 00:17:22,937 Oh, I'm not trying to go back into the past. 401 00:17:23,048 --> 00:17:26,731 I-I'm trying to bring us full circle, you know? 402 00:17:26,756 --> 00:17:30,601 Becks, there's always been this feeling of destiny 403 00:17:30,714 --> 00:17:32,161 about me and you. 404 00:17:33,216 --> 00:17:36,091 Like, I-I don't know, like, 405 00:17:36,309 --> 00:17:39,310 someone out there is telling a story about us. 406 00:17:41,281 --> 00:17:42,856 Yeah. 407 00:17:43,710 --> 00:17:46,177 It does feel that way sometimes. 408 00:17:48,981 --> 00:17:50,313 Come with me. 409 00:17:52,243 --> 00:17:54,058 Hello... 410 00:17:54,127 --> 00:17:56,016 Oh. 411 00:17:56,239 --> 00:17:58,506 Hey. Real pillows. 412 00:17:58,531 --> 00:17:59,730 Ah. Nice touch. 413 00:17:59,843 --> 00:18:01,142 Well, I remember at camp, 414 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,733 you brought your own pillows from home, 415 00:18:02,758 --> 00:18:07,048 and, uh, you made me cover them with a rain poncho before we, 416 00:18:07,073 --> 00:18:08,940 you know, uh... 417 00:18:09,052 --> 00:18:12,020 I, you know... 418 00:18:12,328 --> 00:18:16,347 I didn't want to get them dirty because they were orthotic. 419 00:18:16,572 --> 00:18:18,939 So you know, I was careful not to get your... 420 00:18:19,703 --> 00:18:22,954 on them after we. 421 00:18:22,979 --> 00:18:24,212 Yeah. 422 00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,788 Uh, close your eyes. 423 00:18:29,813 --> 00:18:31,629 I-I have a surprise for you. 424 00:18:31,698 --> 00:18:33,776 Which is, incidentally, what you said the night you missed 425 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,311 and got the pillow and then my ear, but okay, 426 00:18:35,335 --> 00:18:36,335 I'll close my eyes. 427 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,707 Okay, open them. 428 00:18:53,686 --> 00:18:55,149 Gasp. 429 00:18:56,871 --> 00:18:58,328 Oh... 430 00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:01,231 Oh... 431 00:19:04,052 --> 00:19:06,047 This is so beautiful. 432 00:19:06,469 --> 00:19:08,009 I spent all night trying to set it up 433 00:19:08,034 --> 00:19:10,672 and make sure it was facing the right way and everything. 434 00:19:11,113 --> 00:19:13,047 I wanted to make sure everything in our universe 435 00:19:13,072 --> 00:19:15,266 was exactly where it should be. 436 00:19:19,445 --> 00:19:21,680 It means so much to me that you did this. 437 00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:24,852 It was fun. 438 00:19:25,228 --> 00:19:27,195 And I know which one the North Star is, 439 00:19:27,220 --> 00:19:29,774 so I can always find my way back home... 440 00:19:32,703 --> 00:19:34,369 to you. 441 00:19:36,029 --> 00:19:37,477 Oh, Josh. 442 00:19:38,698 --> 00:19:40,188 Wait, is kissing allowed? 443 00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:44,100 Ah... 444 00:20:36,446 --> 00:20:38,652 _ 445 00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:42,723 Does anyone know anything? 446 00:20:42,835 --> 00:20:44,368 I got to know how that date went. 447 00:20:44,393 --> 00:20:46,226 I lost my mind yesterday and put $600 on Greg. 448 00:20:46,338 --> 00:20:48,138 Oh, what? 449 00:20:48,618 --> 00:20:50,764 Guys, the next-door neighbor called. 450 00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:52,711 I told him we were dying for info and that 451 00:20:52,735 --> 00:20:54,101 I would cut him in on my winnings, 452 00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:55,702 so he peeked over the fence for me. 453 00:20:55,771 --> 00:20:56,870 - And? - And? - And? 454 00:20:56,939 --> 00:20:57,939 - And? - And? 455 00:20:58,051 --> 00:21:00,284 And he said he saw them 456 00:21:00,309 --> 00:21:01,575 waking up in each other's arms 457 00:21:01,644 --> 00:21:02,843 through a very tiny 458 00:21:02,911 --> 00:21:04,745 window in a tent. 459 00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:07,881 Oh, wait. I'm getting a text. 460 00:21:07,993 --> 00:21:09,159 It's from Rebecca. 461 00:21:13,267 --> 00:21:14,834 - Dots. - Okay. 462 00:21:14,859 --> 00:21:16,735 Oh, oh, no, no. Oh, no. She says... 463 00:21:16,884 --> 00:21:19,837 - What'd she say? - "It was perfect." 464 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,695 No! 465 00:21:21,764 --> 00:21:25,265 - Oh, yes! - Josh Chan is in the lead, folks! 466 00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,103 Oh, come on! 467 00:21:30,128 --> 00:21:32,295 Slay. Slay, slay, slay. 468 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,126 - Slay. - Mm-hmm. I need to figure out how to pay for this whole thing. 469 00:21:35,151 --> 00:21:38,071 - Mama Cookie knows, girl. Mama Cookie always knows. Ha! - It's very expensive. 470 00:21:39,634 --> 00:21:41,820 So, you're talking about federal administrative 471 00:21:41,845 --> 00:21:44,609 and regulatory law and you're not citing Elena Kagan, 472 00:21:44,634 --> 00:21:47,359 what are you doing? 473 00:21:49,877 --> 00:21:51,298 Are we sure this is gonna work? 474 00:21:51,323 --> 00:21:52,722 You said I needed to do something 475 00:21:52,747 --> 00:21:55,081 to get into this contest, so this is what I'm doing. 476 00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:56,839 Winning over Rebecca's best friend. 477 00:21:56,864 --> 00:21:58,464 If you put as much effort into the date 478 00:21:58,489 --> 00:22:00,489 as you put into poaching 60 fillets... 479 00:22:00,514 --> 00:22:02,080 You don't understand. 480 00:22:02,103 --> 00:22:04,003 I can't plan romantic things. 481 00:22:04,028 --> 00:22:05,828 I'm terrible at contrived stuff. 482 00:22:05,853 --> 00:22:07,386 I can't even sing "Happy Birthday." 483 00:22:07,411 --> 00:22:10,753 Other people sing it and I go, "Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah" 484 00:22:10,778 --> 00:22:12,478 because I find it so embarrassing. 485 00:22:12,547 --> 00:22:13,792 So, I can't do that. 486 00:22:13,817 --> 00:22:16,117 So this is what I have, okay? Fish! 487 00:22:17,552 --> 00:22:19,282 Oh... what? 488 00:22:19,307 --> 00:22:21,140 - Hi. - Hey. 489 00:22:22,251 --> 00:22:25,390 Would you normal people excuse me for just one second? 490 00:22:25,415 --> 00:22:27,382 Okay. Thanks. 491 00:22:30,012 --> 00:22:31,945 Uh, what's this? 492 00:22:31,970 --> 00:22:33,599 A lightly poached coho 493 00:22:33,624 --> 00:22:35,024 with a dill reduction for five dozen 494 00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:38,948 or, one would say, salmon for 60. Hi. 495 00:22:38,973 --> 00:22:41,073 I'm Greg Serrano, let's try again, shall we? 496 00:22:41,142 --> 00:22:43,376 Uh... I'm about to step into a meeting, Greg. 497 00:22:43,401 --> 00:22:45,646 Yes, yes, I understand and I'll totally get out of your hair. 498 00:22:45,671 --> 00:22:47,738 I just wanted to save the day for a working mom 499 00:22:47,763 --> 00:22:49,140 so you don't disappoint your son again. 500 00:22:49,250 --> 00:22:50,493 Oh, dear. 501 00:22:50,518 --> 00:22:51,951 Oh. 502 00:22:51,976 --> 00:22:55,008 So you're an expert on parenting now? 503 00:22:55,033 --> 00:22:57,033 No, I just... I didn't mean to criticize. 504 00:22:57,058 --> 00:22:58,704 That came out wrong. 505 00:23:02,564 --> 00:23:04,642 Oh. 506 00:23:04,997 --> 00:23:07,531 I know what this is. 507 00:23:07,556 --> 00:23:09,245 You overheard me having a problem, 508 00:23:09,270 --> 00:23:10,836 so you thought you'd swoop in and help, 509 00:23:10,861 --> 00:23:12,261 get in my good graces, 510 00:23:12,286 --> 00:23:14,753 so I'll put in a word in with Rebecca. 511 00:23:14,909 --> 00:23:16,309 Oh, she's good. You're good, Paula. 512 00:23:16,377 --> 00:23:17,410 She's very good. 513 00:23:17,435 --> 00:23:18,668 - Greg. - Hmm? 514 00:23:18,693 --> 00:23:20,923 Rebecca makes her own choices. 515 00:23:21,683 --> 00:23:23,516 But I gotta say... 516 00:23:23,629 --> 00:23:25,061 - Uh-huh? - You have a lot 517 00:23:25,086 --> 00:23:28,421 of tough competition, so I really hope 518 00:23:28,446 --> 00:23:32,268 that you have a better plan than bringing me fish. 519 00:23:32,293 --> 00:23:33,693 Yes. Yes, ma'am, I do. 520 00:23:33,761 --> 00:23:35,394 Y-Yes, yes, ma'am. He does. 521 00:23:35,463 --> 00:23:37,396 Great. Then you're all set. 522 00:23:37,696 --> 00:23:40,543 I mean, you know, after you stop by my house 523 00:23:40,568 --> 00:23:42,335 and put that salmon in the fridge. 524 00:23:42,403 --> 00:23:44,775 Key's under the mat. Thanks. 525 00:23:55,283 --> 00:23:56,556 Wow. 526 00:23:57,423 --> 00:23:59,585 You look so beautiful. 527 00:23:59,888 --> 00:24:01,634 I'm sorry. 528 00:24:02,634 --> 00:24:05,101 This is kind of weird. 529 00:24:05,126 --> 00:24:06,592 No, it's okay. 530 00:24:06,705 --> 00:24:08,605 You and Nathaniel have a good time. 531 00:24:08,630 --> 00:24:09,929 Well... 532 00:24:09,954 --> 00:24:11,420 an okay time. 533 00:24:11,445 --> 00:24:12,912 A fine time. 534 00:24:13,101 --> 00:24:14,300 Ugh. 535 00:24:14,325 --> 00:24:15,724 Who am I kidding? 536 00:24:15,749 --> 00:24:18,032 I've been praying all day for the San Andreas Fault 537 00:24:18,057 --> 00:24:20,207 to open up and s-swallow up Nathaniel. 538 00:24:20,408 --> 00:24:22,126 And then Greg. 539 00:24:22,687 --> 00:24:24,687 And then Josh Chan from Azusa, 540 00:24:24,712 --> 00:24:26,979 who continues to mess with my credit rating. 541 00:24:27,092 --> 00:24:28,992 Josh, I know this is hard. 542 00:24:29,017 --> 00:24:30,118 I... 543 00:24:30,662 --> 00:24:32,462 We had such a good time the other night. 544 00:24:32,853 --> 00:24:33,986 But... 545 00:24:34,099 --> 00:24:36,366 Is this what we're doing? 546 00:24:36,391 --> 00:24:38,157 You know, I don't know what else to do. 547 00:24:38,182 --> 00:24:39,615 Yeah, I-I know. 548 00:24:41,466 --> 00:24:43,699 I thought this would be simple, but... 549 00:24:45,750 --> 00:24:47,116 It's not. 550 00:24:48,403 --> 00:24:50,403 Okay, I'll see you later. 551 00:25:03,117 --> 00:25:05,056 Nathaniel, where are we going? 552 00:25:05,611 --> 00:25:07,077 Here, come on. 553 00:25:08,387 --> 00:25:10,420 Oh. 554 00:25:10,696 --> 00:25:11,957 Oh, my God. 555 00:25:11,982 --> 00:25:13,782 Oh, my God. 556 00:25:13,895 --> 00:25:17,963 This is just so beautiful, and it's so thoughtful. 557 00:25:20,212 --> 00:25:22,345 But what's wrong? Are you okay? 558 00:25:22,370 --> 00:25:24,070 No, I'm fine, it's just... 559 00:25:24,182 --> 00:25:25,548 I don't know what's happening. 560 00:25:25,573 --> 00:25:28,107 This is just so... 561 00:25:28,176 --> 00:25:29,575 And you guys are so... 562 00:25:29,644 --> 00:25:30,844 I know, it's weird. It's weird. 563 00:25:30,878 --> 00:25:32,712 - You were just on a date with Josh... - Yes. 564 00:25:32,780 --> 00:25:34,980 And now you're here with me, and I bought... 565 00:25:35,005 --> 00:25:36,726 a bunch of cheese and crackers, 566 00:25:36,751 --> 00:25:38,429 so many different types of crackers. 567 00:25:38,453 --> 00:25:39,852 I don't know why. 568 00:25:39,921 --> 00:25:41,454 Why don't... why don't we just... 569 00:25:41,479 --> 00:25:43,633 just forget everything else 570 00:25:43,658 --> 00:25:45,658 and just try to enjoy this? 571 00:25:45,683 --> 00:25:46,767 You know? 572 00:25:47,474 --> 00:25:49,440 Okay. 573 00:25:51,032 --> 00:25:52,465 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 574 00:25:52,818 --> 00:25:54,018 - Yeah. - Here, sit down. 575 00:25:54,050 --> 00:25:55,850 Okay. 576 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,006 Oh. Wow. 577 00:26:01,031 --> 00:26:02,540 This is just... 578 00:26:03,010 --> 00:26:04,876 it's the most beautiful view. 579 00:26:04,901 --> 00:26:08,001 You know, on a clear day, you can see Gardena, Torrance, 580 00:26:08,026 --> 00:26:09,225 and if you squint, 581 00:26:09,250 --> 00:26:11,617 the Rancho Dominguez Cineplex 23. 582 00:26:11,729 --> 00:26:14,630 I do love that place. They have so many movies. 583 00:26:14,655 --> 00:26:15,821 - Almost two dozen. - Right... 584 00:26:15,934 --> 00:26:17,467 You know what I mean. 585 00:26:17,492 --> 00:26:18,758 Not quite, but almost. 586 00:26:18,783 --> 00:26:20,970 - Not quite, just short. - Just shy. 587 00:26:24,162 --> 00:26:25,895 What is that? 588 00:26:26,268 --> 00:26:27,434 Oh. 589 00:26:28,970 --> 00:26:30,736 - There it is. - What? 590 00:26:30,805 --> 00:26:32,738 - You know what you did. - Oh, yeah? 591 00:26:32,807 --> 00:26:34,774 You hired a band. I knew you'd play dirty 592 00:26:34,842 --> 00:26:36,041 and spend all your money. 593 00:26:36,110 --> 00:26:37,510 - I knew you would. I knew it. - No, I... 594 00:26:37,545 --> 00:26:39,456 I did no such thing. I played by the rules. Uh-huh. 595 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:40,880 - Sure. Uh-huh. - I did. No, no. 596 00:26:40,940 --> 00:26:45,294 What I did do was, I found the perfect spot to sit 597 00:26:45,319 --> 00:26:46,585 right above the Greek Theater 598 00:26:46,610 --> 00:26:48,618 and listen to a concert for free. 599 00:26:49,353 --> 00:26:52,545 Tonight is "The Greatest Hits of Broadway 600 00:26:52,570 --> 00:26:53,936 with Michael Bublé." 601 00:26:59,700 --> 00:27:01,743 Huh. I wonder what... 602 00:27:02,009 --> 00:27:04,203 Broadway standard this is. I don't recognize it. 603 00:27:04,272 --> 00:27:05,516 Maybe it's from Starlight Express 604 00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:07,139 or Once on This Island. I don't know. 605 00:27:07,164 --> 00:27:10,132 Those are the two shows I know the least. Hang on. 606 00:27:10,244 --> 00:27:11,477 Oh. 607 00:27:11,590 --> 00:27:14,680 No, I screwed this up. 608 00:27:14,705 --> 00:27:16,605 It's not Broadway's greatest hits; it's... 609 00:27:16,761 --> 00:27:19,395 "'70s Groove Night with Marty Macaroon 610 00:27:19,420 --> 00:27:21,320 and the Funky Town Eight." 611 00:27:21,345 --> 00:27:22,353 Wow. 612 00:27:22,723 --> 00:27:24,490 This is a disaster. I'm... 613 00:27:24,515 --> 00:27:26,782 I'm so sorry. This is awful. 614 00:27:29,243 --> 00:27:30,863 - Hold on. - No, no. 615 00:27:30,888 --> 00:27:33,355 I actually kind of like it. 616 00:27:33,546 --> 00:27:36,179 - No, you don't. - Yes, I do. I wouldn't humor you. 617 00:27:36,204 --> 00:27:37,204 No one likes this. 618 00:27:37,238 --> 00:27:38,518 Marty Macaroon doesn't like this. 619 00:27:38,543 --> 00:27:41,210 I'm gonna like anyone with the name Macaroon. 620 00:27:41,353 --> 00:27:43,219 Shall we dance? 621 00:27:43,244 --> 00:27:44,398 To this? Come on. 622 00:27:44,423 --> 00:27:46,002 Yeah. Let's dance. Dance with me. Come on. 623 00:27:46,003 --> 00:27:47,289 Oh, you want to stand up and dance. 624 00:27:47,314 --> 00:27:48,826 Oh, my gosh. Stand up and dance with me. 625 00:27:48,850 --> 00:27:50,816 - All right. - Try and salvage this. 626 00:27:50,885 --> 00:27:53,319 Feel the Macaroon rhythm. 627 00:27:53,344 --> 00:27:55,878 - There we go. - Ooh. I mean, that bass line is crunchy. 628 00:27:55,990 --> 00:27:57,556 - It is so crunchy. - It's a crunchy bass. 629 00:27:57,581 --> 00:27:59,681 - Ooh, let's bite our lower lips. - What does that do? 630 00:27:59,794 --> 00:28:00,860 I think this is how... 631 00:28:00,928 --> 00:28:02,194 It's just the funk face, right? 632 00:28:08,236 --> 00:28:10,369 - Nice. - Okay. Oh. 633 00:28:10,438 --> 00:28:13,681 - And back. Oh, drop the beat, Marty. - Yeah, Marty! 634 00:28:20,685 --> 00:28:21,984 Then I'll pull you in. 635 00:28:32,173 --> 00:28:34,440 I don't want to give you a whole big pitch. 636 00:28:34,465 --> 00:28:36,269 I've done that so many times before. 637 00:28:39,072 --> 00:28:40,471 But I think... 638 00:28:41,564 --> 00:28:42,963 we're meant to be together. 639 00:28:45,798 --> 00:28:47,354 And if you pick me, 640 00:28:48,089 --> 00:28:51,458 it'll be because you feel the same way. 641 00:29:01,035 --> 00:29:02,087 I thought so. 642 00:29:27,106 --> 00:29:29,894 So, where did Rebecca and Nathaniel go for their date? 643 00:29:30,053 --> 00:29:31,752 Probably somewhere boring. 644 00:29:31,973 --> 00:29:34,240 If it was me, I would've taken Rebecca to see 645 00:29:34,265 --> 00:29:36,636 Marty Macaroon and the Funky Town Eight. 646 00:29:36,661 --> 00:29:38,695 You're a Macarooner? Oh! 647 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,587 We should swap cassettes. 648 00:29:40,699 --> 00:29:42,676 Yeah, I've got April '93 at Red Rocks. 649 00:29:42,701 --> 00:29:44,467 - No! - Mm-hmm. 650 00:29:44,492 --> 00:29:46,258 - The drone images are in. - What? 651 00:29:46,415 --> 00:29:48,348 I got a buddy to follow Nathaniel 652 00:29:48,373 --> 00:29:49,806 and toss up a drone. No biggie. 653 00:29:54,212 --> 00:29:55,645 Okay. 654 00:29:55,758 --> 00:29:57,724 What?! 655 00:29:59,684 --> 00:30:01,751 Oh, got a text. Wow. 656 00:30:01,864 --> 00:30:03,196 It says... 657 00:30:03,221 --> 00:30:05,488 "It was heaven." 658 00:30:05,557 --> 00:30:06,856 - Yes. Yes! - Yeah! 659 00:30:06,925 --> 00:30:08,445 Papa's got a winner. 660 00:30:08,470 --> 00:30:10,170 And mama's got a winner! 661 00:30:10,195 --> 00:30:11,806 Oh, wait, my thing sounded like your thing. 662 00:30:11,830 --> 00:30:12,896 Mm, just a little bit. 663 00:30:28,722 --> 00:30:29,879 Hi. 664 00:30:30,097 --> 00:30:31,625 Well, hello, sir. 665 00:30:31,650 --> 00:30:33,550 I'm Bernie. Looking for a little... 666 00:30:33,801 --> 00:30:36,162 - high-altitude romance? - Oh. 667 00:30:36,187 --> 00:30:38,555 Wow, we're going with that tone right out of the gate. 668 00:30:38,666 --> 00:30:40,800 Okay, uh, yeah. Well, here's what I'm looking for... 669 00:30:40,825 --> 00:30:42,392 something romantic. 670 00:30:42,504 --> 00:30:43,870 No irony involved. 671 00:30:43,895 --> 00:30:46,596 Just the thing that people do that is the thing people do. 672 00:30:47,051 --> 00:30:49,832 I love a girl and need to show her how much. 673 00:30:49,857 --> 00:30:53,513 Ah, our standard $50 package. Got it. 674 00:30:53,582 --> 00:30:56,383 Our magical journey begins 675 00:30:56,582 --> 00:30:58,452 with your choice of pattern for your hot-air balloon: 676 00:30:58,476 --> 00:31:01,110 rainbow, carnival stripes, polka dots. 677 00:31:01,223 --> 00:31:02,656 You know what? 678 00:31:02,724 --> 00:31:04,357 Let's do it. For once in my life, 679 00:31:04,382 --> 00:31:05,748 I got to really go all out. 680 00:31:05,817 --> 00:31:07,584 Great! Done. 681 00:31:07,933 --> 00:31:09,660 Oh. Oh, cool, that's it? 682 00:31:10,691 --> 00:31:13,656 I-I thought you were gonna give me more of a song and dance. 683 00:31:13,725 --> 00:31:15,345 From me? No, no, no, never. 684 00:31:15,370 --> 00:31:16,736 Okay. 685 00:31:17,465 --> 00:31:20,196 Well, Th-there is one other thing. It's... 686 00:31:20,309 --> 00:31:21,875 J-Just a word of warning. 687 00:31:21,900 --> 00:31:23,266 Warning? 688 00:31:23,335 --> 00:31:27,033 ? There's no ? 689 00:31:27,058 --> 00:31:28,348 ? Bathroom, there's no bathroom ? 690 00:31:28,373 --> 00:31:30,260 ? If she needs to use the bathroom ? 691 00:31:30,285 --> 00:31:32,052 ? Tell her that there is no bathroom ? 692 00:31:32,077 --> 00:31:33,664 ? Please don't pee in my balloon ? 693 00:31:33,689 --> 00:31:36,323 ? This may be a bit more bumpy than a plane ride ? 694 00:31:36,348 --> 00:31:38,748 ? Or a taxi, but I promise it is worth it ? 695 00:31:38,773 --> 00:31:41,074 ? And your lady, she will swoon! ? 696 00:31:41,519 --> 00:31:44,821 Ah, a-all right. Got it. 697 00:31:44,933 --> 00:31:46,166 ? ? 698 00:31:46,191 --> 00:31:49,121 ? Please don't poop in my balloon. ? 699 00:31:50,691 --> 00:31:52,706 I wasn't planning on it. 700 00:31:52,775 --> 00:31:55,475 You know, it's-it's happened a couple times, 701 00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:58,701 and, uh, it's a nightmare. Ugh. 702 00:31:58,911 --> 00:32:01,011 Very hard to get poop out of wicker. 703 00:32:09,176 --> 00:32:10,446 Cool tux. 704 00:32:10,515 --> 00:32:12,415 Yeah, came with the rainbow package. 705 00:32:12,484 --> 00:32:14,617 - Not gonna even show you my socks. - Wow. 706 00:32:14,686 --> 00:32:17,320 You know what? I'm impressed. Yeah? 707 00:32:17,543 --> 00:32:20,533 I mean, you hate this stuff, and you're doing it. 708 00:32:20,601 --> 00:32:21,701 Feeling good? 709 00:32:21,726 --> 00:32:24,927 Uh, I don't know. I have no idea. 710 00:32:24,952 --> 00:32:27,207 I mean, I used to feel so confident 711 00:32:27,232 --> 00:32:28,972 about Rebecca, and now... 712 00:32:29,136 --> 00:32:31,378 This week, I've just been steaming a whole bunch of fish 713 00:32:31,403 --> 00:32:33,636 and agreeing to sail over the Temecula Valley 714 00:32:33,661 --> 00:32:35,015 in a stripy balloon. 715 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:36,472 Are you having second thoughts? 716 00:32:36,793 --> 00:32:39,619 Yeah, yeah, I'm having second thoughts, 717 00:32:39,941 --> 00:32:42,275 but still gonna do it. 718 00:32:44,496 --> 00:32:46,793 Is this bow tie straight? 719 00:32:47,083 --> 00:32:48,379 I doubt it. 720 00:32:57,795 --> 00:32:59,561 Oh, come on. 721 00:32:59,586 --> 00:33:03,830 Oh, Dr. Akopian? What are... What? You go to this wine bar? 722 00:33:03,855 --> 00:33:05,090 Okay, look. 723 00:33:05,521 --> 00:33:07,446 Yeah, I'm stalking you again. We've established this. 724 00:33:07,471 --> 00:33:08,682 It's a very problematic behavior, 725 00:33:08,706 --> 00:33:10,906 and we should discuss it the next time I'm in therapy, 726 00:33:10,975 --> 00:33:12,141 but listen, I need some help. 727 00:33:12,209 --> 00:33:14,243 Okay, these dates aren't clarifying anything. 728 00:33:14,311 --> 00:33:16,189 They're just... they're fogging up all my windows... 729 00:33:16,213 --> 00:33:18,253 My front window, my back window and my side windows. 730 00:33:18,278 --> 00:33:20,629 And I don't know what to do. Can I have a sip of your wine? 731 00:33:20,670 --> 00:33:23,104 - Oh, no. - No, that-that's not appropriate. 732 00:33:24,722 --> 00:33:27,189 I don't know how I'm gonna face this Greg date coming up. 733 00:33:27,214 --> 00:33:28,400 It's gonna ruin my life. 734 00:33:28,425 --> 00:33:31,293 I cannot go on yet another 735 00:33:31,318 --> 00:33:33,426 romantic and perfect date. 736 00:33:33,451 --> 00:33:35,251 Then don't. 737 00:33:35,276 --> 00:33:38,343 Just follow what's in your heart. 738 00:33:39,222 --> 00:33:40,707 Follow what's in my heart? 739 00:33:40,732 --> 00:33:43,038 What kind of therapist advice is that? 740 00:33:43,063 --> 00:33:45,630 Look, I-I'm-I'm just trying to have a glass of wine. 741 00:33:45,655 --> 00:33:47,933 I am not on the clock right now, okay, Rebecca? 742 00:33:48,251 --> 00:33:50,819 Okay, that's fair. You're right. Self-care is important. 743 00:33:51,535 --> 00:33:53,501 Thanks for not dropping me as a patient. 744 00:33:53,526 --> 00:33:55,526 See you at 4:00 tomorrow. 745 00:33:59,709 --> 00:34:01,027 Help. 746 00:34:03,539 --> 00:34:05,973 ? ? 747 00:34:10,685 --> 00:34:15,254 ? Love is a game, love is a game ? 748 00:34:15,496 --> 00:34:19,031 ? But I've never enjoyed playing any sort of game ? 749 00:34:19,100 --> 00:34:21,166 ? I hate round objects ? 750 00:34:21,191 --> 00:34:23,124 ? Flying at my head ? 751 00:34:23,149 --> 00:34:25,116 ? In seventh grade ? 752 00:34:25,141 --> 00:34:27,272 ? I convinced the principal ? 753 00:34:27,341 --> 00:34:30,965 ? To let me count bat mitzvah prep as my phys ed ? 754 00:34:31,824 --> 00:34:33,846 ? In games you can get hurt ? 755 00:34:33,871 --> 00:34:36,072 ? In games you can get bruised ? 756 00:34:36,097 --> 00:34:39,871 ? In order for a victory, someone else must lose ? 757 00:34:40,125 --> 00:34:43,961 ? And it's a sign of weakness to just throw in the towel ? 758 00:34:43,986 --> 00:34:46,068 ? People hate when you play dirty ? 759 00:34:46,093 --> 00:34:48,402 ? Which I think is called a foul ? 760 00:34:50,831 --> 00:34:54,715 ? If love's a game, if love's a game ? 761 00:34:54,951 --> 00:34:58,820 ? Then in forfeiting I find no shame ? 762 00:34:59,028 --> 00:35:03,164 ? This whole thing is a powder keg ? 763 00:35:03,189 --> 00:35:06,190 ? I have no choice but to cancel on... ? 764 00:35:08,531 --> 00:35:09,492 Greg? 765 00:35:10,156 --> 00:35:12,951 Wow. So, what's, um... 766 00:35:13,742 --> 00:35:15,287 What's happening here? 767 00:35:15,664 --> 00:35:17,433 Well, in order of importance, 768 00:35:17,458 --> 00:35:19,375 I'm wearing a real uncomfortable tuxedo, 769 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:22,668 I possibly just split my pants, and my crappy car won't start. 770 00:35:23,007 --> 00:35:24,273 How about you? 771 00:35:24,790 --> 00:35:26,406 About the same. 772 00:35:28,002 --> 00:35:29,902 - Let's get you to the shop. - Yeah, yeah. 773 00:35:29,927 --> 00:35:31,127 Yeah. 774 00:35:46,508 --> 00:35:49,188 - Oh, my God, no one ate the salmon. - Oh. 775 00:35:49,300 --> 00:35:51,990 - They never do. - Then why do we do this? 776 00:35:52,059 --> 00:35:54,793 Paula, that's how it's always been. 777 00:35:55,274 --> 00:35:57,807 Oh... Louise, 778 00:35:57,832 --> 00:36:00,881 this whole process needs a redo. 779 00:36:00,906 --> 00:36:02,601 We should be working together. 780 00:36:02,713 --> 00:36:05,280 I mean, no sign-up sheets, no competition; 781 00:36:05,305 --> 00:36:08,540 just-just a community of moms collaborating. 782 00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:12,752 Oh, God. 783 00:36:15,063 --> 00:36:17,560 Oh-oh-oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 784 00:36:17,585 --> 00:36:18,917 Guys, guys, guys, stop. 785 00:36:18,986 --> 00:36:21,220 Stop, stop, everybody, stop what you're doing. 786 00:36:21,288 --> 00:36:25,478 Bernie called. They never showed up for their balloon ride. 787 00:36:25,503 --> 00:36:27,203 - What? What? - No, no. 788 00:36:27,228 --> 00:36:29,962 No, Hector, you put his bow tie on him. You said he was going. 789 00:36:30,030 --> 00:36:31,608 Well, he was, but he seemed a little wigged out 790 00:36:31,632 --> 00:36:33,243 - about the whole thing, honestly. - Why didn't you tell us that? 791 00:36:33,267 --> 00:36:35,444 Oh, God, I bet my rowing machine on Greg. 792 00:36:35,469 --> 00:36:37,913 Oh, my God, what's going on? We don't know what's going on. 793 00:36:37,938 --> 00:36:39,015 If they don't complete their date, 794 00:36:39,039 --> 00:36:41,006 it's a push. Nobody loses, 795 00:36:41,075 --> 00:36:43,008 - nobody wins. - No! 796 00:36:43,077 --> 00:36:44,877 What? No! 797 00:36:55,024 --> 00:36:57,233 Hey. What are you doing here? 798 00:36:57,258 --> 00:36:59,444 Oh, well, I can't drink over at Home Base. 799 00:36:59,469 --> 00:37:00,936 Not with all that betting going on. 800 00:37:00,961 --> 00:37:02,361 Oh, you heard about that, too? 801 00:37:02,473 --> 00:37:05,708 Yeah, of course. Think I wasn't gonna put $1,000 on myself? 802 00:37:09,531 --> 00:37:10,813 Well, how was your date? 803 00:37:11,344 --> 00:37:13,238 Honestly? Really good. 804 00:37:13,688 --> 00:37:15,017 Yours? 805 00:37:15,456 --> 00:37:17,222 Oh, couldn't have gone any better. 806 00:37:20,147 --> 00:37:22,281 Well, we'll find out soon enough. 807 00:37:22,349 --> 00:37:23,703 Yeah. 808 00:37:24,395 --> 00:37:27,730 Hey, whatever happens, good game, man. 809 00:37:28,952 --> 00:37:30,052 Same. 810 00:37:32,711 --> 00:37:35,294 - Cheers. - Yeah, cheers. 811 00:37:39,667 --> 00:37:41,033 God, I hope I win, though. 812 00:37:41,145 --> 00:37:42,645 I really hope you lose. 813 00:37:43,180 --> 00:37:45,270 I also hope Greg dies. 814 00:37:45,339 --> 00:37:47,439 Ooh, were you thinking San Andreas Fault? 815 00:37:47,464 --> 00:37:48,808 I was actually thinking lightning bolt. 816 00:37:48,876 --> 00:37:50,389 It's quick, it's painless. Mm. 817 00:37:50,414 --> 00:37:51,720 You know, I do like the guy. 818 00:37:51,745 --> 00:37:53,078 Oh, yeah. Me, too. 819 00:38:11,196 --> 00:38:14,330 Well, it's gonna take a long time to fix it. 820 00:38:14,399 --> 00:38:17,367 Something about the trans... carburetor... 821 00:38:17,727 --> 00:38:19,813 I'm being lied to, and it's gonna be very expensive. 822 00:38:19,838 --> 00:38:21,805 And our date's already ruined 823 00:38:21,873 --> 00:38:23,740 because we're gonna miss our start time 824 00:38:23,765 --> 00:38:25,698 for our takeoff, so... 825 00:38:25,855 --> 00:38:27,654 Uh, takeoff? 826 00:38:27,722 --> 00:38:30,323 It's a long story. Never mind. 827 00:38:30,348 --> 00:38:33,750 Just... Hey, can I be honest with you? 828 00:38:33,819 --> 00:38:34,918 Yeah. 829 00:38:34,986 --> 00:38:36,686 I've been dreading this whole thing. 830 00:38:36,755 --> 00:38:38,321 Not being with you. That part I love. 831 00:38:38,390 --> 00:38:42,559 Just the date I had planned, it's so not me. 832 00:38:42,758 --> 00:38:46,506 It's so very Bernie. Weird guy. 833 00:38:46,531 --> 00:38:49,866 - Who's... - The bow tie. 834 00:38:49,935 --> 00:38:51,768 - Oh, okay. - Mm-hmm. 835 00:38:51,837 --> 00:38:54,637 I got to tell you something. When I ran into you, 836 00:38:54,705 --> 00:38:56,349 I was literally seconds away from texting you 837 00:38:56,374 --> 00:38:57,474 and canceling the date. 838 00:38:57,542 --> 00:38:59,742 Not because I don't like spending time with you, 839 00:38:59,767 --> 00:39:02,222 but I just... All these dates, 840 00:39:02,247 --> 00:39:04,414 it's just so exhausting, it's so much pressure. 841 00:39:04,483 --> 00:39:05,563 Right. 842 00:39:05,724 --> 00:39:08,524 So... this date is off? 843 00:39:10,998 --> 00:39:12,633 Looks like it. 844 00:39:13,735 --> 00:39:15,635 Oh, thank God. 845 00:39:18,753 --> 00:39:20,419 Oh... 846 00:39:21,024 --> 00:39:22,732 Well, if you're gonna be here for the next few hours, 847 00:39:22,801 --> 00:39:23,967 I'll just wait with you. 848 00:39:24,035 --> 00:39:25,502 Really? You would do that? 849 00:39:25,570 --> 00:39:27,036 Yeah. I got nothing to do. 850 00:39:27,105 --> 00:39:28,867 I just found out my date canceled. 851 00:39:30,805 --> 00:39:32,495 Hey, so, uh, did you eat yet? 852 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:34,399 No, I was waiting for you to eat, but I would eat now. 853 00:39:34,424 --> 00:39:35,624 Do you want to go somewhere? 854 00:39:35,728 --> 00:39:36,928 Uh, I more feel like ordering. 855 00:39:36,953 --> 00:39:37,946 Ooh, I would do that. 856 00:39:37,971 --> 00:39:40,039 Yeah? What do you want? What are you in the mood for? 857 00:39:40,989 --> 00:39:43,389 Um, Italian? 858 00:39:43,571 --> 00:39:45,135 I have that all the time at work. 859 00:39:45,204 --> 00:39:47,104 - Right, of course. Yeah. - What about Thai? 860 00:39:47,485 --> 00:39:49,016 I had that for lunch, but any other place. 861 00:39:49,041 --> 00:39:50,140 Really, you pick. 862 00:39:50,209 --> 00:39:51,709 Okay, well, I picked last time. 863 00:39:51,777 --> 00:39:54,912 Oh, you did, and we went to that Indian place, which I loved. 864 00:39:54,980 --> 00:39:57,247 Mm-hmm. Do you want to do that again? 865 00:39:57,272 --> 00:39:59,673 No, you know what I want? I want that new taco place. 866 00:39:59,698 --> 00:40:01,738 - The one on East Cameron? I heard that's amazing. - Yes. 867 00:40:01,763 --> 00:40:02,929 - Right? It's... - Okay. Okay. 868 00:40:02,954 --> 00:40:04,954 - So I-I want to see if they deliver. - Yeah, sure. 869 00:40:04,979 --> 00:40:07,546 I'll pull up the menu. 870 00:40:07,726 --> 00:40:10,193 Let's see. 871 00:40:10,218 --> 00:40:11,618 Okay, I'm gonna pull up the menu. 872 00:40:11,831 --> 00:40:14,098 You have to decide what you want beforehand because, no, 873 00:40:14,123 --> 00:40:15,956 I cannot be on the phone and have you 874 00:40:15,981 --> 00:40:17,181 shouting your order in my ear. 875 00:40:17,206 --> 00:40:19,206 It's not my fault that I realize what I want 876 00:40:19,231 --> 00:40:20,442 when I hear what you're getting. 877 00:40:20,467 --> 00:40:21,678 I understand it's not your fault, 878 00:40:21,703 --> 00:40:23,736 but it's very irritating and very annoying, 879 00:40:23,761 --> 00:40:25,360 and we've had many discussions about it, 880 00:40:25,493 --> 00:40:28,027 so just make a... Here you go, here's the menu. 881 00:40:30,216 --> 00:40:32,039 Do I like chilaquiles? 882 00:40:32,791 --> 00:40:34,424 Yeah, of course you do, with the Verde. 883 00:40:34,449 --> 00:40:35,729 Right, right, right, right, yes. 884 00:40:35,921 --> 00:40:37,287 Okay, I want to get that. 885 00:40:37,312 --> 00:40:38,812 Okay. 886 00:40:44,340 --> 00:40:46,306 Hey. 887 00:40:46,331 --> 00:40:48,383 You're the love of my life. 888 00:40:49,429 --> 00:40:51,495 You know that, right? 889 00:40:54,782 --> 00:40:56,782 Well, I do now. 890 00:40:56,806 --> 00:40:59,625 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com --