1
00:00:00,970 --> 00:00:04,980
? It seems today that all you see ?

2
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,220
? Is violence in movies and sex on TV ?

3
00:00:08,259 --> 00:00:11,640
? But where are those good
old-fashioned values ?

4
00:00:11,660 --> 00:00:14,440
? On which we used to rely? ?

5
00:00:14,470 --> 00:00:18,100
? Lucky there's a family guy ?

6
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:21,540
? Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ?

7
00:00:21,570 --> 00:00:23,160
? All the things that make us ?

8
00:00:23,180 --> 00:00:24,560
? Laugh and cry ?

9
00:00:24,651 --> 00:00:30,080
? He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ?

10
00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:34,060
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --

11
00:00:36,860 --> 00:00:38,530
Peter, come on.

12
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,940
- What?
- We're starting.

13
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,400
Oh, is this, uh, a new one?

14
00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:43,380
I thought it was a rerun.
Okay, here we go.

15
00:00:43,420 --> 00:00:45,610
Line?

16
00:00:45,650 --> 00:00:48,110
What are those guys doing over there?

17
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:49,860
Hey, what are those
guys doing over there?

18
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,700
I added a "hey."

19
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,370
Here we go, Patriots!

20
00:00:54,410 --> 00:00:56,140
All right, now let's go miss the urinal

21
00:00:56,170 --> 00:00:57,869
with half a whiz and get out of here.

22
00:00:57,870 --> 00:00:59,219
Right on!

23
00:00:59,220 --> 00:01:00,230
Hey, why you guys leaving?

24
00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:02,060
We're taking a party bus to the game.

25
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:03,830
A bus for partying?

26
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,280
Aw, that sounds awesome.

27
00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:07,140
Like a pair of Pete's Headphones.

28
00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:09,600
? Oye cómo va ?

29
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:10,960
? Mi ritmo ?

30
00:01:10,990 --> 00:01:13,550
? Bueno pa' gozar ?

31
00:01:13,590 --> 00:01:14,599
? Mulata ?

32
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,600
? Ba, ba-da ba-da-da ?

33
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,350
? Ba-da-da-da-da-da ?

34
00:01:18,390 --> 00:01:21,900
? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da... ?

35
00:01:24,650 --> 00:01:26,419
Mom, can we eat?

36
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,110
My stomach is starting to sound
like Arnold Schwarzenegger

37
00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:31,900
gasping for air at the
end of Total Recall.

38
00:01:31,990 --> 00:01:34,260
My eyes are

39
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,780
popping out at the end of this movie!

40
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,740
Well, I'd like to wait for your father.

41
00:01:38,770 --> 00:01:41,859
L-Let me send him another
infuriating check-in text.

42
00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:44,180
Hel-lo!

43
00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:45,790
Yes?

44
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,620
Peter, where the hell have you been?

45
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:50,600
On a magical journey to
Gillette Stadium and back.

46
00:01:50,630 --> 00:01:52,330
You remember last night
when you called me

47
00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:54,680
the lowest-class alcoholic in the world?

48
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,220
Well, I found one rung lower.
I'm a party bus guy now.

49
00:01:58,260 --> 00:02:00,960
That's got to be way better
than when I drove a Fiat.

50
00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:03,430
Hey! You cut me off!

51
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,600
What? Turn down your radio.

52
00:02:05,650 --> 00:02:08,280
I can't. My stomach's pressed
up against the dial.

53
00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:09,480
You want to go?

54
00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:12,260
Get me 17 shoehorns and some canola oil,

55
00:02:12,270 --> 00:02:13,340
and we'll go!

56
00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:16,360
Get back here!

57
00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:22,330
Okay, guys, now this is a bus
for a fireman's bachelor party.

58
00:02:22,370 --> 00:02:24,680
So just follow my lead
and we'll fit right in.

59
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,710
All right!

60
00:02:26,750 --> 00:02:28,790
9/11! Boston Strong!

61
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:29,920
Never forget!

62
00:02:29,930 --> 00:02:31,820
How about this guy? You forget?

63
00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:34,970
No way. You're too Boston
Strong to ever forget.

64
00:02:35,010 --> 00:02:37,060
Let's roll!

65
00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:40,839
Uh, I mean... civil servants
with hero complexes!

66
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:41,900
Boom!

67
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:44,500
- All right!
- Welcome, other firefighters.

68
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,240
Bring us the man of the hour.

69
00:02:47,260 --> 00:02:48,650
Come on, Smitty!

70
00:02:50,820 --> 00:02:53,730
To my last night as a free man!

71
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,530
Hmm. Unfortunate timing.

72
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,410
Now, which one of these scumbag firemen

73
00:03:01,450 --> 00:03:03,120
will go after his fiancée?

74
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,450
Already happened. We're very happy.

75
00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:13,250
? Firemen are not good friends ?

76
00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:17,760
? They'll bang your wife
when you are dead. ?

77
00:03:22,930 --> 00:03:25,099
Peter, this sucks!

78
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:26,920
What are we doing out here?

79
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:29,460
_

80
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,550
I'm beginning to think
those vodka cranberries

81
00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:43,560
may have had alcohol in them.

82
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,000
Wow, partying on the bus to prom.

83
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,040
Doesn't get much cooler than this.

84
00:03:54,090 --> 00:03:56,260
None of these lame kids is drinking.

85
00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:59,120
Eh, I think I know what's going on.

86
00:03:59,390 --> 00:04:02,720
Hey, how many of you kids
are on the horny drugs?

87
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,430
I'm a cop.

88
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,600
But I'm not a narc.

89
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,300
Cool cop! Cool cop! Cool cop!

90
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,900
Did you dook yourself?

91
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:17,070
Just listen to the chant, Peter.

92
00:04:17,110 --> 00:04:19,420
Listen to the chant.

93
00:04:21,460 --> 00:04:24,320
_

94
00:04:26,790 --> 00:04:29,040
Close dancing, 12 o'clock.

95
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,920
Hey, arm's length, dirty porno lovers!

96
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,210
So, going stag tonight, Meg?

97
00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:37,000
Oh, no, I brought someone.

98
00:04:37,050 --> 00:04:39,380
Hello. I'm in love with Meg.

99
00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:42,010
Well, now I'm very sorry I asked.

100
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,430
Wow, the end of high school.

101
00:04:44,470 --> 00:04:47,170
Tonight, we pass around Stifler's mom,

102
00:04:47,180 --> 00:04:49,980
and in the morning, it's off
to die quick in Vietnam.

103
00:04:50,020 --> 00:04:52,280
Peter, I think you're getting
your movies mixed up.

104
00:04:52,290 --> 00:04:54,180
Attention, students.

105
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,270
It's time to announce this
year's prom king and queen.

106
00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:58,980
Natalee Holloway!

107
00:04:58,990 --> 00:05:01,380
Now, now.

108
00:05:01,390 --> 00:05:02,990
And the winners are...

109
00:05:03,030 --> 00:05:06,780
Connie D'Amico and "Kermit Legs" Kyle!

110
00:05:09,220 --> 00:05:11,290
Ah, so close.

111
00:05:12,290 --> 00:05:13,880
Hello, gorgeous.

112
00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:15,719
- How old are you?
- 18.

113
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,780
All right, and I just
recorded you saying that.

114
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,960
And hi. I am Glenn Quagmire.

115
00:05:19,970 --> 00:05:21,630
Courtney. Nice to meet you.

116
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,959
You don't look like
you're in high school.

117
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,930
I got held back. You
like getting held back?

118
00:05:26,970 --> 00:05:29,220
Sometimes.

119
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:34,660
All right, youngins.

120
00:05:34,670 --> 00:05:37,550
I dragged this piece of dirty
cardboard in from the alley

121
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,650
to show y'all how to get down.

122
00:05:39,690 --> 00:05:41,650
Peter! Let's boogie!

123
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,160
? Ho! Ho! ?

124
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,870
Aah! There was a staple in the box!

125
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,940
Where's the nurse's office?

126
00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:21,390
Hey, you want to get out of here?

127
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,650
Yeah. Let's go.

128
00:06:23,780 --> 00:06:25,480
You take requests?

129
00:06:25,490 --> 00:06:27,660
What are you looking for?

130
00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:30,240
? A-hunga, hunga, hunga, hunga... ?

131
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:34,940
? It's been one week
since you looked at me ?

132
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,560
? Cocked your head to the
side and said I'm angry ?

133
00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:39,330
? Five days since you laughed at me... ?

134
00:06:39,380 --> 00:06:40,520
I know all the lyrics.

135
00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:42,550
- I just don't know them fast!
- ? Three days... ?

136
00:06:45,020 --> 00:06:47,700
- And initial here.
- What is all this?

137
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,390
Oh, these just say if anything
should happen to you,

138
00:06:49,430 --> 00:06:51,200
I'm not responsible, blah-blah-blah.

139
00:06:51,220 --> 00:06:52,560
I'm-I'm just boring myself.

140
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,920
I had a lot of fun with
you tonight, Courtney.

141
00:06:54,930 --> 00:06:56,690
Me too.

142
00:06:56,730 --> 00:06:58,480
Oh, Courtney.

143
00:06:58,520 --> 00:06:59,810
Oh, Glenn.

144
00:06:59,860 --> 00:07:02,360
Oh, oh, giggity!

145
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,920
Wait. Did you just say "giggity"?

146
00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:07,420
Yeah. Sorry.

147
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,920
Sometimes I just blurt that
out when I get excited.

148
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,900
Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

149
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:14,160
_

150
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,060
Here. Rub this up and down
on the inside of your cheek.

151
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,120
- Giggity.
- Aah! Stop saying that!

152
00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:24,920
_

153
00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:28,160
What is it, Glenn? What's wrong?

154
00:07:28,260 --> 00:07:31,300
You're... you're my daughter!

155
00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:32,880
Oh, my God!

156
00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:34,180
Wow.

157
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:37,100
I guess this means I have
a phone call to make.

158
00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:39,000
Hey, it's Glenn Quagmire.

159
00:07:39,020 --> 00:07:41,800
Would you tell Andrew that
he is not the father?

160
00:07:41,820 --> 00:07:44,659
Andrew, you are not the father.

161
00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:04,730
Courtney, there's something
I just got to ask.

162
00:08:04,770 --> 00:08:07,260
What the heck was the
theme of that dance?

163
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:08,680
- What do you mean?
- I mean, like,

164
00:08:08,690 --> 00:08:10,930
there was palm trees like it was Hawaii,

165
00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:13,240
but then there was a suit
of armor in the corner.

166
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,480
There was a big banner
w-with fish on it.

167
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,020
Can we get back to the
fact that you're my dad?

168
00:08:18,070 --> 00:08:20,350
Yeah, you're right.
I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

169
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:23,450
Well, let me ask. What's
up with your mom?

170
00:08:23,490 --> 00:08:25,700
Actually, I never knew my mom.

171
00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:28,740
I was hoping that you
could tell me about her.

172
00:08:28,790 --> 00:08:31,330
Uh... of course I can.

173
00:08:31,370 --> 00:08:32,830
Your mom...

174
00:08:32,870 --> 00:08:36,340
your mom... was really...

175
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,920
thing hanging on the
bulletin board behind you.

176
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,720
That's so nice to hear. Tell me more.

177
00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:44,760
Oh, gosh, she was, she was just so...

178
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:46,740
word on the bottom of your coffee cup.

179
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,540
I always knew she would be! What else?

180
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,730
I just have some great
memories of her...

181
00:08:51,770 --> 00:08:53,980
numbers to call in case of emergency

182
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,400
or accidental poisoning.

183
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,480
It's like she's here with us right now.

184
00:08:58,530 --> 00:09:01,150
So you don't know your
mom? Who do you live with?

185
00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:03,340
Well, right now I'm on a futon

186
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,000
in the rafters of my friend's garage.

187
00:09:05,010 --> 00:09:07,340
Oh! Actually, I better get going.

188
00:09:07,370 --> 00:09:09,480
I have to feed their
ferrets. They breed them.

189
00:09:09,490 --> 00:09:11,870
It's pretty terrifying.

190
00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:15,140
Anyway, thank you so
much for being so nice,

191
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,420
and let's talk soon?

192
00:09:17,460 --> 00:09:19,919
Wait, hold on. You can't
live in a ferret garage.

193
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:20,930
You need a home.

194
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,610
You know, you could move in here.

195
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,340
I have an extra bedroom,
and the bed has a bunch

196
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,070
of different-sized pillows on it.

197
00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:31,300
Hmm. I do love dealing with
those pillows every day,

198
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,060
but are you sure?

199
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,410
I don't want to be a burden.

200
00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:37,370
No, it's no problem.
Hey, you're my daughter.

201
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,540
I want to make sure you
have everything you need.

202
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,370
Thanks. That's sweet.

203
00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:46,000
Um... okay! Yeah. I'll move in.

204
00:09:46,050 --> 00:09:47,460
That's huge for me.

205
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,880
Hey, is that an Instant Pot?

206
00:09:49,930 --> 00:09:52,770
- No, it's a Crock-Pot.
- You got to get an Instant Pot.

207
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,630
You can make short ribs in
it. It falls right off...

208
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,280
Yeah, yeah, falls right
off the bone. I know.

209
00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:57,860
I've had this conversation five times.

210
00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,470
Hey, Quagmire.

211
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,740
I hear you're considering
an Instant Pot.

212
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,980
Courtney, that's Joe, my neighbor.

213
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:07,280
Hey, Courtney. You getting
this guy on board?

214
00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:13,660
So, I think I had a wet
nightmare last night.

215
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:14,960
Is that possible?

216
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,000
- Hello, fellow daddios.
- Did you bang your kid yet?

217
00:10:18,060 --> 00:10:20,590
Okay, Peter, can I talk
to you for a second?

218
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:23,680
I'm sorry, but I am not going
to stand for any misogyny.

219
00:10:23,730 --> 00:10:25,560
Stop acting like a Neanderthal pig.

220
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,510
Those sound scary.

221
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,690
What were you two ladies talking about?

222
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:32,070
Joe, can I talk to you for a second?

223
00:10:32,110 --> 00:10:35,540
It's 2019. Time-tested jokes like that

224
00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:37,280
are now offensive and not funny at all.

225
00:10:38,860 --> 00:10:40,030
Okay, I got to go.

226
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,620
I'm taking Courtney to
her first WNBA game.

227
00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:44,290
I got courtside seats.

228
00:10:44,330 --> 00:10:46,660
They're way in the back, but
I'm sitting next to Courtney.

229
00:10:46,710 --> 00:10:49,040
I-I got dad jokes now.

230
00:10:49,090 --> 00:10:51,080
See you, friends.

231
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:52,920
Yes, 911?

232
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,470
Someone has stolen the old Quagmire

233
00:10:55,510 --> 00:10:59,300
and replaced him with a respectable man.

234
00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:01,800
Sir, this line is reserved
for emergencies only.

235
00:11:01,850 --> 00:11:03,350
Please end your clammy joke.

236
00:11:03,390 --> 00:11:05,140
Okay. Sorry.

237
00:11:11,690 --> 00:11:14,520
- You remember what I told you?
- I'm the best around.

238
00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,320
Nothing's gonna ever keep me down.

239
00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:18,740
That's right. I made that up.
Now go get 'em, kiddo.

240
00:11:18,780 --> 00:11:20,740
I'll be watching with the other moms.

241
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,290
Here's all the usual suspects.

242
00:11:25,330 --> 00:11:27,580
Oh, you're doing a video.

243
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:31,040
Turn it... G-Get it off.
Glenn, I look terrible.

244
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:33,090
Glenn, Courtney's up!

245
00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:35,380
Okay, okay, here we go. Please.

246
00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:37,180
Let's go, Courtney!

247
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,420
Ah, perfect! That's a ten!

248
00:11:47,350 --> 00:11:50,560
9.2? 9.2?!

249
00:11:50,690 --> 00:11:52,540
9.2?!

250
00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:57,150
9.2?!

251
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:06,630
9.2?! I'll give you a 9.2.

252
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,200
On the Richter scale!

253
00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:10,330
Courtney, let's go.

254
00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:13,040
I get to go again. We do it twice.

255
00:12:13,090 --> 00:12:14,960
Oh.

256
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,350
Let's go, Courtney.

257
00:12:33,190 --> 00:12:35,440
So, you liking Take Your
Daughter to Work Day?

258
00:12:35,460 --> 00:12:36,780
Uh, yeah!

259
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,420
I can't believe my dad knows
how to fly this thing.

260
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,600
- You want to try?
- Me? I don't know.

261
00:12:42,630 --> 00:12:43,779
Come on, it's easy.

262
00:12:43,780 --> 00:12:45,110
You don't even need a college degree,

263
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,950
which is a very scary
true fact. Go ahead.

264
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,800
You're doing great. Now roll it.

265
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:54,000
What? No way.

266
00:12:54,010 --> 00:12:56,470
Don't worry, you're a Quagmire.
It's in your blood.

267
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:58,420
- Grip it and rip it.
- Okay.

268
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,880
Attagirl. Perfect.

269
00:13:04,060 --> 00:13:05,579
N-No. No, no. We're not doing that.

270
00:13:05,580 --> 00:13:07,680
I got my daughter with
me today, you perverts.

271
00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:09,700
He's not doing it today.

272
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:11,100
- Aw, shoot.
- Another time.

273
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,680
Probably got his kid with him.

274
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:19,279
I'm glad you guys could
finally come over for dinner.

275
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,100
Sure thing, Lois. Thanks for having us.

276
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,800
See, Meg? That's a thigh gap.

277
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:26,580
Now, Courtney, I'd like to
awkwardly introduce you

278
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,840
to someone your own age.

279
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,680
Courtney, this is Megan.

280
00:13:29,690 --> 00:13:31,519
Maybe you listen to the same music.

281
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,540
- Hey.
- Hey.

282
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,070
Yo, Courtney, what's your Instagram?

283
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,979
I just got on there and
need some interesting peeps

284
00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:38,920
- to follow.
- Oh, you'll have to ask my dad.

285
00:13:38,930 --> 00:13:41,110
He approves all my follow requests.

286
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,730
Denied! Nice try, ass.

287
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:46,070
Hey, have you guys seen
the Wonder Woman film?

288
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:48,110
- Yeah, no.
- Oh, you have to.

289
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,440
It's a triumph.

290
00:13:49,470 --> 00:13:51,219
Courts and I have seen it five times.

291
00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:52,919
It's an important movie, Peter.

292
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,340
You should watch it with
Meg. It's a masterwork.

293
00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:57,170
Oh, I've been wanting to see that.

294
00:13:57,210 --> 00:13:58,670
Okay, we totally will.

295
00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:02,350
Hey, Dad, I just checked the weather,

296
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,760
and it looks like sunny
skies all weekend.

297
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,420
You guys have big plans?

298
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:07,720
Yeah, we're going camping.

299
00:14:07,750 --> 00:14:10,139
Hey, you and Meg should
come with us, Peter.

300
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:12,300
We'll make it a father-daughter
bonding weekend.

301
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,460
- Oh, that's a great idea.
- Yeah, let's go, Dad.

302
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,680
Y-You know who you should
take instead of me?

303
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:20,260
Uh, Stewie or-or Chris or Brian.

304
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:21,600
May-Maybe Lois.

305
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,760
Or Seamus is fun.

306
00:14:23,810 --> 00:14:26,019
Carter Pewterschmidt,
Babs Pewterschmidt,

307
00:14:26,020 --> 00:14:28,220
Bonnie, Joe, their son Kevin,

308
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,000
Cleveland, Jerome, Bruce, Opie, Carl,

309
00:14:31,010 --> 00:14:33,850
the "phony" guy, the
ostrich, Al Harrington,

310
00:14:33,860 --> 00:14:37,190
Billy Finn, John Travolta
from one of our cutaways,

311
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,340
uh, all of our characters
as Star Wars characters,

312
00:14:40,350 --> 00:14:42,099
everybody from The Cleveland Show,

313
00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,580
Cherry Chevapravatdumrong...

314
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:44,910
that's how that name is pronounced...

315
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:47,040
the Orville... the ship, not the cast...

316
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,670
um, me... Aw, damn it!

317
00:14:49,710 --> 00:14:51,420
Okay, fine. I'll go.

318
00:14:51,460 --> 00:14:52,590
- Thank you.
- Cool.

319
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:55,020
I heard my name, too. I'm in!

320
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:57,840
No? I'll drive, buy snacks?

321
00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,720
No? Okay.

322
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,760
Everyone else is out here, too.

323
00:15:10,190 --> 00:15:12,810
Oh, my God, it's literally everyone.

324
00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:15,680
That can only mean... show ghosts!

325
00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:37,460
_

326
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,139
I'm really glad you decided to bring Meg

327
00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:43,219
on this camping trip, Peter.

328
00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:44,820
- It's gonna be great.
- Because we're in the...

329
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,810
Because we're in the great outdoors.

330
00:15:49,310 --> 00:15:50,890
Ah.

331
00:15:50,940 --> 00:15:53,400
You don't get air like this
back in Quahog, do you, Pete?

332
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,930
Uh, I don't know. Some places, probably.

333
00:15:55,940 --> 00:15:59,780
Hoo-ah! Gosh, being in nature
gives me such great energy.

334
00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:02,030
Hey, Courtney, you ever see
a yellow-headed warbler?

335
00:16:02,070 --> 00:16:04,370
That's the only warbler I haven't seen.

336
00:16:04,410 --> 00:16:05,950
Not for long it's not.

337
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:11,520
Don't answer that. We're eating.

338
00:16:11,540 --> 00:16:12,599
They're probably eating.

339
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,039
Okay, we're gonna have a
fun camp competition.

340
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,580
And the first event, worth five points,

341
00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:19,300
is a race down to the lake right now!

342
00:16:19,340 --> 00:16:21,600
Last one there is a stinky poo-poo egg!

343
00:16:21,620 --> 00:16:22,660
Come on, Dad!

344
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:26,510
What Meg didn't know,
what none of them knew,

345
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,390
is that I already was

346
00:16:28,430 --> 00:16:30,770
a stinky poo-poo egg.

347
00:16:34,270 --> 00:16:36,500
Boy, you don't get stars like this

348
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:37,770
back in Quahog, do you, Pete?

349
00:16:37,820 --> 00:16:39,070
Stop calling me Pete.

350
00:16:39,110 --> 00:16:41,650
I know what'll cheer you up. Skits!

351
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,780
? Skits, skits, skits, skits ?

352
00:16:43,820 --> 00:16:45,910
? Skits, skits, skits, skits ?

353
00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:47,990
? Skits-skits-skits-skits, skits-skits ?

354
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,500
? Skits! ?

355
00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:56,290
Well, isn't this a
perfect bench for a sit.

356
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:00,730
Say, Dad, what are you doing?

357
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,930
Oh, just sitting on the invisible bench,

358
00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:05,200
reading about those
North Korea jokesters.

359
00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:09,110
But, Dad, they moved the
invisible bench last week.

360
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,070
Oh. It's over there now.

361
00:17:12,330 --> 00:17:14,080
Whoa!

362
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:20,170
Ladies and gentlemen, "The
Invisible Bench" skit.

363
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,680
Peter, you're up.

364
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,940
Okay, here's one. I call
it "The Invisible Noose."

365
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,130
First, I throw a rope
over this tree limb,

366
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:29,630
put the noose around my neck.

367
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,640
Now I'll just step onto this rock

368
00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:34,430
and jump off into the
sweet relief of death.

369
00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:41,440
Peter, would you mind
flattening your rod?

370
00:17:41,470 --> 00:17:43,900
Fine. I'll Tootsie it between my thighs.

371
00:17:43,940 --> 00:17:46,900
Yeah, okay, whatever gets it
away from my daughter's face.

372
00:17:52,410 --> 00:17:54,580
Are you eating an apple with a knife?

373
00:17:54,620 --> 00:17:56,450
God, that's always so forced.

374
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:59,040
Hold on. We've been here already.

375
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,910
Yeah, she's right.

376
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,799
That's where I graffitied that rock.

377
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,340
_

378
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:08,170
We've changed our minds.
We're going on record.

379
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:09,860
We're not lost, all right?

380
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,880
We're just two dads bonding
with our daughters,

381
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:13,680
and getting lost is
not part of the plan.

382
00:18:13,690 --> 00:18:14,709
All right, nobody panic.

383
00:18:14,710 --> 00:18:15,930
We just need to get our bearings.

384
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,420
Hey, here comes a hiker.

385
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,380
Excuse me, sir, we're lost.

386
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,940
Ha! Then you must be my car keys, right?

387
00:18:21,980 --> 00:18:25,110
It is so nice to get out of the city

388
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,570
and meet friendly people.

389
00:18:26,610 --> 00:18:29,140
You're not helping, Dad. As usual.

390
00:18:29,170 --> 00:18:30,740
Well, at least I didn't get us lost.

391
00:18:30,780 --> 00:18:34,380
We're not lost! We're just...
two dads in the woods,

392
00:18:34,390 --> 00:18:36,830
who love our daughters very, very much.

393
00:18:36,870 --> 00:18:39,540
Okay, so maybe it's not
the life we chose.

394
00:18:39,580 --> 00:18:42,139
Well, you chose it. I didn't.
That's for damn sure!

395
00:18:42,140 --> 00:18:43,670
- Dad, will you help him?
- Shh.

396
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,580
I've been waiting for this.
I knew it was fake.

397
00:18:45,630 --> 00:18:47,340
Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't...

398
00:18:47,380 --> 00:18:49,460
I'm not Dad! I'm Quagmire!

399
00:18:49,510 --> 00:18:50,880
Glenn Quagmire!

400
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,520
Giggity giggity!

401
00:18:52,550 --> 00:18:54,680
I don't want to be out
here! I hate camping!

402
00:18:54,690 --> 00:18:57,040
And what the hell was the
theme of that stupid prom?!

403
00:18:57,050 --> 00:18:58,960
All the cups said, "Oh, What a Night!"

404
00:18:58,980 --> 00:19:01,360
I mean, if it was, "Oh,
What a Knight" with a "K,"

405
00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:02,499
that would've made some sense,

406
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,000
'cause there was a suit of armor there.

407
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:05,940
What was that about? Answer me!

408
00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:08,960
I-I think it's possible to
overthink these things.

409
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:10,400
Ugh, what a mish-mosh.

410
00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:12,030
Damn it, I just want to be home,

411
00:19:12,070 --> 00:19:14,980
not here, lost in the woods,
looking at this stupid map

412
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,450
with a magnifying glass.

413
00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:17,620
Aah!

414
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,660
Oh, my God. What are we gonna do?

415
00:19:27,670 --> 00:19:28,680
I don't know.

416
00:19:28,690 --> 00:19:31,200
- Help!
- Dear God, someone help us!

417
00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:33,090
You know when this would never happen?

418
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:35,420
If I was sitting on the
couch, watching TV,

419
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,060
ignoring you completely.

420
00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:40,470
Courtney, I'm sorry for
what I said earlier.

421
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:43,060
You mean when you completely
ripped my school dance theme?

422
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,940
No, no, there was no theme to rip.

423
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,690
That's the point. I
stand by all of that.

424
00:19:46,730 --> 00:19:48,270
If anything, I'm more angry.

425
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,470
No, I'm-I'm talking
about being your father

426
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:51,780
before I was ready.

427
00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:54,570
I promise, if we make it out of here,

428
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,320
we can start again.

429
00:19:56,370 --> 00:19:58,780
- Deal?
- Deal.

430
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,500
9/11!

431
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,710
Boston Strong!

432
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,460
Oh, it's Smitty.

433
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:12,800
We're saved!

434
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,970
But we should warn the
birds the fire's coming.

435
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,050
All right, stay calm.

436
00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:23,520
Grab the pictures. I'll
get your mother's ashes.

437
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,900
Wow, Peter, that was a
close call with that fire,

438
00:20:31,910 --> 00:20:34,230
but I'm glad you all made
it back safe and sound.

439
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,570
Yeah, me, too.

440
00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:36,950
What the hell?

441
00:20:36,990 --> 00:20:38,920
Oh, I hope it's okay.

442
00:20:38,930 --> 00:20:40,740
I bought some more pillows.

443
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:47,300
I mean, what is the deal
with women and pillows?

444
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:48,800
Has-has anyone else noticed this?

445
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,500
No.

446
00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:51,660
No one?

447
00:20:51,670 --> 00:20:54,659
But I-I got three minutes
of material on pillows.

448
00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:56,540
We don't want to hear it.

449
00:21:03,010 --> 00:21:07,960
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