1 00:00:01,813 --> 00:00:09,048 When there's a poisonous snake When we smell smoke, we run. 2 00:00:09,073 --> 00:00:13,243 When faced with danger, fear takes over, and we react, 3 00:00:13,277 --> 00:00:15,946 - desperate to feel safe. - Jo! 4 00:00:15,980 --> 00:00:17,914 You left while I was in the shower. 5 00:00:17,949 --> 00:00:19,750 - What, are you avoiding me? - Yes. 6 00:00:19,784 --> 00:00:21,118 Wait, not on purpose, no. 7 00:00:21,152 --> 00:00:22,986 Sorry. Hi. I just... 8 00:00:23,021 --> 00:00:24,554 Bailey's back to being chief tomorrow, 9 00:00:24,589 --> 00:00:26,256 so I have one last shot at her full attention 10 00:00:26,290 --> 00:00:27,758 about a new grant for my fellowship, 11 00:00:27,792 --> 00:00:29,793 and I just... I figured that you would want to sleep in. 12 00:00:29,827 --> 00:00:31,928 - Yeah, but I was in the shower. - Right. 13 00:00:31,963 --> 00:00:33,497 Jo, it's me. 14 00:00:33,531 --> 00:00:35,499 How long are we gonna do this? 15 00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:37,334 Whatever happened with your birth mom, you can tell me. 16 00:00:37,368 --> 00:00:38,468 Do you know what the funding limits are 17 00:00:38,503 --> 00:00:40,837 on an R90 or R15 grant? 18 00:00:40,872 --> 00:00:42,305 No. Jo... 19 00:00:42,340 --> 00:00:44,241 Okay, I got to figure that out before Bailey gets here. 20 00:00:44,275 --> 00:00:45,909 I'm... sorry. 21 00:00:45,943 --> 00:00:48,530 It's biological... primal. 22 00:00:49,947 --> 00:00:52,369 But for someone who suffers from trauma, 23 00:00:52,884 --> 00:00:55,118 it's the everyday things... 24 00:00:55,153 --> 00:00:58,989 a song in a coffee shop, the smell of rubbing alcohol.. 25 00:01:00,086 --> 00:01:03,460 ...seemingly random, common things 26 00:01:03,494 --> 00:01:06,674 convincing your brain and body you're in danger... 27 00:01:07,832 --> 00:01:09,299 ...and there is no way out. 28 00:01:17,742 --> 00:01:19,342 Hi. What can I do for you? 29 00:01:22,246 --> 00:01:24,281 I'm Dr. Karev. 30 00:01:24,315 --> 00:01:26,349 Josephine. Jo. 31 00:01:26,384 --> 00:01:28,318 - Um... - Mom, I can't find my shoes! 32 00:01:28,352 --> 00:01:30,187 They're in the kitchen, and they smell! 33 00:01:30,221 --> 00:01:31,621 Who ate all the cereal? 34 00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:34,224 Honey, there's more in the pantry. Y... 35 00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:39,062 Well, apparently, my kids forgot that they were old enough 36 00:01:39,097 --> 00:01:41,732 to feed and clothe themselves today. 37 00:01:41,766 --> 00:01:43,504 You have kids. 38 00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:47,337 Um, listen, if you're... if you're selling magazines or... 39 00:01:47,371 --> 00:01:49,339 or religion, we're good on both, so... 40 00:01:49,373 --> 00:01:50,340 But thank you so much. 41 00:01:50,374 --> 00:01:52,346 No, no. E-Emerson Hospital. 42 00:01:52,910 --> 00:01:54,044 Oh, right, okay. 43 00:01:54,078 --> 00:01:56,313 Well, if you just go here, and you take Willowbrook... 44 00:01:56,347 --> 00:01:57,681 - No, no, I-I was... - ...and then you're gonna... 45 00:01:57,715 --> 00:01:59,937 I was born at Emerson Hospital, 46 00:02:00,752 --> 00:02:05,088 and soon after, I was left at the fire station on 47th Street. 47 00:02:05,123 --> 00:02:07,224 I think that you're the person who left me. 48 00:02:09,727 --> 00:02:11,695 I think you're my mother. 49 00:02:14,532 --> 00:02:20,530 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 50 00:02:23,441 --> 00:02:25,675 You have your chemistry report? 51 00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,277 It's a paper, Mom. 52 00:02:27,311 --> 00:02:28,445 Yeah, as long as it's done, 53 00:02:28,479 --> 00:02:30,380 you can call it whatever you like. 54 00:02:30,414 --> 00:02:33,016 Hey, um, I'm thinking about Cal's Burgers tonight. 55 00:02:33,050 --> 00:02:34,351 Celebrate your last day of sabbatical. 56 00:02:34,385 --> 00:02:35,919 Can't. 57 00:02:35,953 --> 00:02:37,854 I have a thing tonight. 58 00:02:37,889 --> 00:02:39,422 With who? 59 00:02:39,457 --> 00:02:41,124 With Kelly. 60 00:02:41,159 --> 00:02:43,093 - There's a Kelly? - Define "thing." 61 00:02:43,127 --> 00:02:45,295 We're just talking, is all. 62 00:02:45,329 --> 00:02:48,131 So, you can't come have burgers with us, 63 00:02:48,166 --> 00:02:50,901 because you're talking to Kelly. 64 00:02:50,935 --> 00:02:53,436 - At a thing. - Here's fine. 65 00:02:54,576 --> 00:02:56,606 We're nowhere near the school. What? 66 00:02:56,641 --> 00:02:57,941 It's fine. 67 00:02:59,644 --> 00:03:01,578 - Bye, love you! - Good luck with your re... 68 00:03:01,612 --> 00:03:03,213 report! 69 00:03:06,284 --> 00:03:07,784 It's a paper. 70 00:03:07,819 --> 00:03:09,186 I know. 71 00:03:11,948 --> 00:03:14,183 - Did he just put his arm around... - He put his hand... 72 00:03:14,208 --> 00:03:15,742 Dr. Pannell to Plastics. 73 00:03:15,767 --> 00:03:18,168 Dr. Pannell to Plastics. 74 00:03:24,001 --> 00:03:26,303 Oh, my God! Sorry. Sorry. 75 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,573 Hey, you... you have a... you have, um, a... 76 00:03:29,607 --> 00:03:31,274 A-A crap sense of direction 77 00:03:31,309 --> 00:03:33,243 and can't find my way to the ER. 78 00:03:33,277 --> 00:03:34,845 It's one floor down, and then, if... 79 00:03:36,881 --> 00:03:38,452 You know, why don't I take you? 80 00:03:40,184 --> 00:03:42,185 You ever have just a garbage sort of day? 81 00:03:43,721 --> 00:03:45,667 More times than I can count. 82 00:03:46,624 --> 00:03:48,491 This way. 83 00:03:51,062 --> 00:03:53,129 You'll need stitches. 84 00:03:53,164 --> 00:03:55,832 I'll have a nurse bring you a blanket. 85 00:03:55,867 --> 00:03:57,596 I feel so stupid. 86 00:03:58,636 --> 00:04:01,371 I was putting away dishes and just... 87 00:04:01,405 --> 00:04:03,273 smacked myself in the face with the cabinet. 88 00:04:03,307 --> 00:04:04,774 Such an idiot. 89 00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,309 That cut looks pretty deep, 90 00:04:06,344 --> 00:04:08,879 so Dr. Qadri will have to numb it before we can clean it. 91 00:04:08,913 --> 00:04:10,447 When did this happen? 92 00:04:10,481 --> 00:04:12,349 Last night. 93 00:04:12,383 --> 00:04:14,784 I thought it would be fine, but it just keeps bleeding. 94 00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,353 Dr. Qadri and I can help with that. 95 00:04:16,387 --> 00:04:18,955 I'm just gonna put a little Betadine around the area, 96 00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:20,390 and you're just gonna feel a little stick and a burn. 97 00:04:20,424 --> 00:04:21,458 Are you hurting anywhere else? 98 00:04:21,492 --> 00:04:23,560 Hey. Dr. Bailey's been looking for you... 99 00:04:23,594 --> 00:04:25,795 - something about a grant deadline? - Oh, okay. 100 00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,664 Um, I'm gonna be right... 101 00:04:36,908 --> 00:04:40,410 My patient here, Abby, she... 102 00:04:40,444 --> 00:04:43,179 hit her face on a cabinet. 103 00:04:43,214 --> 00:04:44,547 So if you could give us some room, please, 104 00:04:44,582 --> 00:04:45,916 so I can suture her facial lac? 105 00:04:45,950 --> 00:04:48,351 And tell Dr. Bailey that I will be a while. 106 00:04:48,386 --> 00:04:50,353 Thank you. 107 00:04:54,625 --> 00:04:57,027 Hey, why don't you sit up, okay? 108 00:04:57,061 --> 00:04:58,561 We'll sit you up. Okay. 109 00:05:00,398 --> 00:05:01,598 Is your belly hurting? 110 00:05:01,632 --> 00:05:04,334 No, it's just the cheek. 111 00:05:04,368 --> 00:05:07,570 You can fix it now, right? So I can go. 112 00:05:07,605 --> 00:05:11,274 Dr. Qadri, um, can you go get me some 4-0 MONOCRYL, 113 00:05:11,309 --> 00:05:13,343 and can we please close those? 114 00:05:13,377 --> 00:05:14,611 Thank you. 115 00:05:21,786 --> 00:05:24,641 Abby, it's just you and me. 116 00:05:25,756 --> 00:05:27,557 You're hurt. 117 00:05:27,591 --> 00:05:29,225 I am here to help. 118 00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:37,734 - Okay. - Okay. 119 00:05:53,317 --> 00:05:54,951 Okay. Okay. 120 00:06:03,527 --> 00:06:05,261 I got you, Abby. 121 00:06:05,296 --> 00:06:06,963 I'm not going anywhere. 122 00:06:16,273 --> 00:06:17,907 Look, I don't know what you're after, 123 00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:18,942 but you can't be here. 124 00:06:18,976 --> 00:06:20,310 I'm not after anything. 125 00:06:20,344 --> 00:06:21,907 I just want to talk. 126 00:06:22,646 --> 00:06:24,414 You cannot be here. 127 00:06:24,448 --> 00:06:26,349 Chip! 128 00:06:26,384 --> 00:06:28,318 Hey, Chip. Come here. 129 00:06:28,352 --> 00:06:29,786 Hey, buddy. 130 00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:32,355 I'll, uh, put him out back and drop the kids at school. 131 00:06:32,390 --> 00:06:34,324 Is everything okay? 132 00:06:34,358 --> 00:06:35,558 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was just saying 133 00:06:35,593 --> 00:06:38,528 that we're already familiar with the Book of Mormon, so... 134 00:06:38,562 --> 00:06:40,864 Ah, saw the original cast. Loved it. 135 00:06:40,898 --> 00:06:44,034 Not a big fan of the book, though, so... we're all set. 136 00:06:54,879 --> 00:06:58,214 There's a diner... a few miles up. 137 00:06:58,249 --> 00:06:59,682 Weird green roof? 138 00:06:59,717 --> 00:07:01,238 Ira's? 139 00:07:02,153 --> 00:07:04,154 One conversation. 140 00:07:04,188 --> 00:07:06,122 And you will never hear from me again. 141 00:07:28,476 --> 00:07:29,642 Just one. 142 00:07:29,677 --> 00:07:30,710 Oh, right this way. 143 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,834 Can I get you a warm-up? 144 00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:11,484 The coffee here sucks. 145 00:08:11,519 --> 00:08:12,886 I've noticed. 146 00:08:14,549 --> 00:08:16,249 I'm late for work. Um... 147 00:08:19,887 --> 00:08:21,722 I work in the mayor's office. 148 00:08:21,756 --> 00:08:24,324 Try to create jobs for under-served communities. 149 00:08:27,362 --> 00:08:28,862 I'm sorry. You knocked on my door. 150 00:08:28,896 --> 00:08:30,297 - I don't... - You have a house... 151 00:08:30,331 --> 00:08:32,499 a really beautiful house. 152 00:08:32,533 --> 00:08:33,622 Thank you...? 153 00:08:33,657 --> 00:08:36,703 And kids and a husband and a dog 154 00:08:36,738 --> 00:08:38,705 and crown frickin' moldings. 155 00:08:38,740 --> 00:08:39,889 Do you need money? If this is about money... 156 00:08:39,924 --> 00:08:41,308 I don't need your damn money. 157 00:08:45,613 --> 00:08:47,093 Thank you. 158 00:08:48,015 --> 00:08:49,816 Look, I'm not quite sure what you expected... 159 00:08:49,851 --> 00:08:53,854 In my head, you worked at a diner half as nice as this. 160 00:08:53,888 --> 00:08:55,555 And you didn't graduate high school, 161 00:08:55,590 --> 00:08:57,090 or maybe you did but a year or two late 162 00:08:57,125 --> 00:08:59,593 'cause they don't let pregnant girls finish high school. 163 00:08:59,627 --> 00:09:02,429 And you scraped by somehow on... 164 00:09:02,463 --> 00:09:04,264 hard work and the kindness of strangers, 165 00:09:04,298 --> 00:09:05,732 but you had no one. 166 00:09:05,767 --> 00:09:07,100 You had nothing. 167 00:09:07,135 --> 00:09:09,282 That would make it okay that I left you? 168 00:09:11,939 --> 00:09:14,941 I wanted you to have a better life than I could give you... 169 00:09:14,976 --> 00:09:17,444 Now, that part I heard in my head. 170 00:09:17,478 --> 00:09:19,846 I think it came from a made-for-TV movie. 171 00:09:19,881 --> 00:09:20,881 No, I-I-I realized it 172 00:09:20,915 --> 00:09:23,850 the minute it came out of my mouth, yes, um... 173 00:09:25,753 --> 00:09:27,220 But it's true. 174 00:09:28,956 --> 00:09:30,791 I really thought that you'd be better off... 175 00:09:30,825 --> 00:09:31,892 What are their names? 176 00:09:31,926 --> 00:09:33,794 - I'm sorry? - Your kids. 177 00:09:33,828 --> 00:09:37,030 My brother and sister eating cereal in your perfect kitchen. 178 00:09:37,064 --> 00:09:38,532 What are their names? 179 00:09:38,566 --> 00:09:41,368 Alexandra is a senior in high school, 180 00:09:41,402 --> 00:09:44,204 and, uh, Josh is in 10th. 181 00:09:45,807 --> 00:09:49,776 And your husband, the, what, the... accountant? 182 00:09:49,811 --> 00:09:51,545 Lawyer. 183 00:09:51,579 --> 00:09:53,547 Is he my father? 184 00:09:53,581 --> 00:09:54,981 No. 185 00:09:55,016 --> 00:09:57,417 No, he is nothing like... no. 186 00:09:57,452 --> 00:09:59,152 No, I met my husband in grad school. 187 00:09:59,187 --> 00:10:00,887 Um... 188 00:10:00,922 --> 00:10:02,062 His name is Daniel. 189 00:10:02,097 --> 00:10:03,253 Daniel. 190 00:10:04,025 --> 00:10:06,460 That's nice. 191 00:10:06,494 --> 00:10:07,961 That's really nice. 192 00:10:07,995 --> 00:10:10,464 You know, I-I... I appreciate a girl 193 00:10:10,498 --> 00:10:11,582 with fire in her belly, but... 194 00:10:11,616 --> 00:10:14,568 I didn't have a better life. 195 00:10:14,602 --> 00:10:17,100 I wasn't better off. 196 00:10:17,972 --> 00:10:19,773 No one found me adoring parents 197 00:10:19,807 --> 00:10:22,576 who were dying for a newborn of their own to love. 198 00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:24,845 I lived in foster homes so bad, 199 00:10:24,879 --> 00:10:27,247 it was better to live in my car. 200 00:10:27,281 --> 00:10:29,850 And when a man finally told me that he loved me, 201 00:10:29,884 --> 00:10:31,698 I believed him, 202 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:36,911 even when he beat the crap out of me so bad I couldn't see. 203 00:10:37,558 --> 00:10:39,860 So whatever life you had, 204 00:10:39,894 --> 00:10:42,963 tell me it wasn't better than mine. 205 00:10:49,036 --> 00:10:50,404 I should go. 206 00:10:50,439 --> 00:10:52,806 At least you're consistent. 207 00:10:59,013 --> 00:11:00,847 Did you honestly come here to punish me? 208 00:11:00,882 --> 00:11:02,082 Consider it done. 209 00:11:02,116 --> 00:11:04,050 I came because I don't know anything about where I'm from, 210 00:11:04,085 --> 00:11:06,107 and I want to know. 211 00:11:16,864 --> 00:11:18,453 Um... 212 00:11:18,933 --> 00:11:20,914 My, um... 213 00:11:21,903 --> 00:11:23,637 father's side is pure Irish. 214 00:11:23,671 --> 00:11:26,573 My... My... My mother is Russian Jew and Italian. 215 00:11:26,607 --> 00:11:28,475 I got all that from spitting in a tube. 216 00:11:28,509 --> 00:11:30,544 My mother's parents... 217 00:11:30,578 --> 00:11:31,978 died when she was young... 218 00:11:32,013 --> 00:11:33,246 heart disease and cancer. 219 00:11:33,281 --> 00:11:35,382 So I'm afraid that's in the mix. 220 00:11:35,416 --> 00:11:38,718 Uh, there's no history of mental illness that I'm aware... 221 00:11:38,753 --> 00:11:41,539 - That's not what I'm asking. - Then what do you want to know? 222 00:11:41,574 --> 00:11:43,561 Something I can't get from spitting in a tube! 223 00:11:45,126 --> 00:11:46,726 Ah. 224 00:11:46,761 --> 00:11:49,996 I, um... I grew up on a farm in Kansas. 225 00:11:50,031 --> 00:11:52,432 My childhood is a blur of chickens 226 00:11:52,466 --> 00:11:54,434 and singing songs out in the field 227 00:11:54,468 --> 00:11:55,869 when I should've been helping my mother. 228 00:11:55,903 --> 00:11:58,338 I was spelling bee champion for four years in a row. 229 00:11:58,372 --> 00:12:00,607 I love the smell of rosemary. I'm terrible at math. 230 00:12:00,641 --> 00:12:02,008 Does that help? Does that help you at all? 231 00:12:02,043 --> 00:12:04,444 - Do you know who you are now? - Forget it. 232 00:12:04,478 --> 00:12:07,180 Just tell me who my father is, and I will try and find him. 233 00:12:07,214 --> 00:12:09,182 You can't. 234 00:12:09,216 --> 00:12:10,319 He's dead. 235 00:12:10,353 --> 00:12:11,952 Geez, lady. 236 00:12:13,955 --> 00:12:16,523 You don't want to, I don't know, soften it a little? 237 00:12:16,557 --> 00:12:19,092 Well, I'm sorry, but that son of a bitch who hurt me 238 00:12:19,126 --> 00:12:22,596 more than any other human being ever has... 239 00:12:22,630 --> 00:12:25,198 died in a motorcycle accident 10 years ago. 240 00:12:25,232 --> 00:12:26,366 Not the way that I would've hoped. 241 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,935 I would've preferred that he had been eaten by fire ants 242 00:12:28,970 --> 00:12:30,370 or pulled apart limb from limb, but... 243 00:12:30,404 --> 00:12:32,372 Wow. 244 00:12:32,406 --> 00:12:35,071 You're just a monster, huh? 245 00:12:37,011 --> 00:12:39,112 - Please sit down. - Abandoning me wasn't enough, 246 00:12:39,146 --> 00:12:41,019 you just have to spread the pain around a little bit? 247 00:12:41,054 --> 00:12:42,075 Sit down. 248 00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:43,488 That's my father that you're talking about. 249 00:12:43,522 --> 00:12:45,885 - No, it's not. He hurt me... - I'm so sorry 250 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,154 that your childhood sweetheart didn't pan out. 251 00:12:48,189 --> 00:12:50,128 - So sorry. - He hurt me. 252 00:12:55,529 --> 00:12:58,198 Please sit down, okay? 253 00:13:00,201 --> 00:13:01,501 Please sit down. 254 00:13:12,980 --> 00:13:14,381 He was a TA... 255 00:13:17,652 --> 00:13:21,087 ...when I was a freshman in undergrad. 256 00:13:21,122 --> 00:13:23,957 He chased after me for weeks for a date. 257 00:13:23,991 --> 00:13:27,127 He, um, sent me flowers and proclamations 258 00:13:27,161 --> 00:13:28,995 until, finally, I said yes. 259 00:13:30,164 --> 00:13:33,600 I said... I said yes to that date. 260 00:13:33,634 --> 00:13:36,936 I said... yes to going... 261 00:13:36,971 --> 00:13:39,539 to Braden's Point to watch the sunset. 262 00:13:39,573 --> 00:13:41,207 And... 263 00:13:45,146 --> 00:13:48,815 Then he started kissing me and touching me. 264 00:13:48,849 --> 00:13:50,116 And I said no. 265 00:13:50,151 --> 00:13:51,851 And I continued to say no. 266 00:13:51,886 --> 00:13:53,219 And I fought him. 267 00:13:53,254 --> 00:13:54,521 I fought as hard as I could, 268 00:13:54,555 --> 00:13:56,723 but he would not take no for an answer. 269 00:13:56,757 --> 00:13:58,458 So... 270 00:13:58,492 --> 00:14:01,194 nine months later, I had a baby. 271 00:14:01,228 --> 00:14:03,659 I had you, and then... 272 00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,499 five days later, I didn't. 273 00:14:26,306 --> 00:14:27,540 Qadri, let's get her 274 00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:28,914 IM Toradol for the pain 275 00:14:28,942 --> 00:14:30,743 and keep her NPO for now. 276 00:14:30,777 --> 00:14:32,578 Is there someone that we can call? 277 00:14:32,612 --> 00:14:35,614 Family member or a friend? 278 00:14:35,649 --> 00:14:38,484 My husband's in Portland on a business trip. 279 00:14:38,518 --> 00:14:41,587 I don't want to... bother him. 280 00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:44,290 It's okay. I called her here to help. 281 00:14:44,324 --> 00:14:45,758 - Hi. - Hi. 282 00:14:45,792 --> 00:14:46,929 Why do I need another doctor? 283 00:14:46,964 --> 00:14:48,227 Can't I just keep you two? 284 00:14:48,261 --> 00:14:49,795 It's Abby, right? Hi. 285 00:14:49,829 --> 00:14:52,831 Dr. Karev and Dr. Qadri will still be your doctors, 286 00:14:52,866 --> 00:14:54,967 but would it be okay if I helped? 287 00:14:55,001 --> 00:14:57,937 May I do an ultrasound just to check for internal injuries? 288 00:14:57,971 --> 00:14:59,805 - Okay. Great. - All right, here we go. 289 00:14:59,839 --> 00:15:01,473 Let's lie you back. 290 00:15:01,508 --> 00:15:02,608 I got you. 291 00:15:02,642 --> 00:15:03,609 That's it, I got you. 292 00:15:03,643 --> 00:15:05,130 Okay, you're almost there. 293 00:15:05,164 --> 00:15:06,257 - Okay. - All right. 294 00:15:06,291 --> 00:15:07,313 Okay. 295 00:15:07,347 --> 00:15:09,381 Just gonna open your robe. 296 00:15:15,488 --> 00:15:17,289 Now a little gel. 297 00:15:21,127 --> 00:15:23,596 All right, you'll feel just a little pressure. 298 00:15:23,630 --> 00:15:25,831 There we go. Good job. 299 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:32,838 All right, Abby, you do have a tear in your diaphragm, 300 00:15:32,872 --> 00:15:35,341 and it's caused your abdominal organs 301 00:15:35,375 --> 00:15:37,109 to move up into your chest. 302 00:15:37,143 --> 00:15:39,144 You're gonna need a surgery. 303 00:15:39,179 --> 00:15:40,278 Fine. 304 00:15:40,312 --> 00:15:42,681 Whatever you need to do so I can go home. 305 00:15:42,716 --> 00:15:44,950 All right, Dr. Karev, can I talk to you outside for a minute? 306 00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:47,853 - No, no, can you stay? - I'll just be right outside. 307 00:15:47,887 --> 00:15:49,272 I won't be more than a couple minutes... 308 00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:50,752 Y-You can't... You can't leave, please? 309 00:15:50,786 --> 00:15:52,691 Just do the surgery, and then I can go home, 310 00:15:52,726 --> 00:15:54,860 - and then it'll be over. - All right. 311 00:15:54,894 --> 00:15:56,981 We'll let them know to prep the OR. 312 00:15:59,266 --> 00:16:00,879 Qadri, come with me. Thanks. 313 00:16:00,913 --> 00:16:02,401 Dr. Yates to Pediatrics. 314 00:16:02,435 --> 00:16:05,170 Dr. Yates to Pediatrics. 315 00:16:05,205 --> 00:16:08,641 Book an OR, but do not let the nurses or anyone else 316 00:16:08,675 --> 00:16:10,709 do an antibiotic prep. 317 00:16:10,744 --> 00:16:12,096 So we're not operating on her? 318 00:16:12,130 --> 00:16:13,379 Abby's wounds are consistent 319 00:16:13,413 --> 00:16:14,747 with someone who's been sexually assaulted, 320 00:16:14,781 --> 00:16:15,848 and if that's true, 321 00:16:15,882 --> 00:16:18,984 when the nurses prep her with an antibiotic solution, 322 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,186 evidence will be erased. 323 00:16:21,221 --> 00:16:22,391 So we wait. 324 00:16:22,425 --> 00:16:24,356 We wait and give Abby the chance to talk 325 00:16:24,391 --> 00:16:26,859 without taking more of the agency than she's already lost. 326 00:16:26,893 --> 00:16:29,096 Go book the OR and come straight back. 327 00:16:34,968 --> 00:16:36,902 Okay. 328 00:16:38,838 --> 00:16:42,485 Hey. Are you sure there isn't someone we can call? 329 00:16:44,644 --> 00:16:46,545 Can we ask you how you got hurt? 330 00:16:47,947 --> 00:16:49,615 Does it matter? 331 00:16:49,649 --> 00:16:50,916 You said you can fix it, right? 332 00:16:50,950 --> 00:16:52,117 Abby, I want you to know 333 00:16:52,152 --> 00:16:54,019 that you don't have to tell us anything. 334 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:56,689 We can bring a counselor down for you to talk to. 335 00:16:56,723 --> 00:16:59,191 No. No more doctors. 336 00:16:59,225 --> 00:17:01,593 I have enough doctors, and I don't need a shrink. 337 00:17:01,628 --> 00:17:05,431 I just... need my stomach to stop hurting is all. 338 00:17:05,465 --> 00:17:06,732 Okay. 339 00:17:08,001 --> 00:17:10,035 How did you get that? 340 00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:12,805 My neighbor's kids like to play street hockey, 341 00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:14,066 and I'm crap at it. 342 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,742 - I don't think that's true. - Dr. Karev. 343 00:17:18,645 --> 00:17:21,046 You keep looking at each other, but I'm right here, 344 00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:23,982 so one of you say whatever the hell it is 345 00:17:24,017 --> 00:17:25,551 you're trying so hard not to say. 346 00:17:25,585 --> 00:17:26,819 - Abby... - I'm worried your husband hurt you, 347 00:17:26,853 --> 00:17:28,053 and from the marks on your legs, 348 00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:29,822 possibly sexually assaulted you. 349 00:17:29,856 --> 00:17:31,323 Dr. Karev, hallway. Now. 350 00:17:31,358 --> 00:17:34,259 Jack would never. He's never raised his voice. 351 00:17:34,294 --> 00:17:35,761 - He's calm. - Then someone else did... 352 00:17:35,795 --> 00:17:38,163 Isn't the OR ready by now? 353 00:17:38,198 --> 00:17:39,331 'Cause this hurts like a... 354 00:17:39,366 --> 00:17:40,799 Abby, if we take you to the OR, 355 00:17:40,834 --> 00:17:42,217 we have to make you sterile, 356 00:17:42,252 --> 00:17:43,936 so everything that happened to you, all the evidence, 357 00:17:43,970 --> 00:17:45,504 it all goes away. 358 00:17:45,538 --> 00:17:47,142 You can still report it. 359 00:17:47,177 --> 00:17:50,275 I'm not reporting anything. There's nothing to report. 360 00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:52,978 That is your choice. It is all your choice. 361 00:17:53,012 --> 00:17:55,247 But if something happened... if it did... 362 00:17:55,281 --> 00:17:57,683 we could gather the evidence and seal it away 363 00:17:57,717 --> 00:18:00,062 until you are ready to do something about it. 364 00:18:02,856 --> 00:18:06,024 We all know if I do that kit... 365 00:18:06,059 --> 00:18:08,794 it ends up in the back of some police station, 366 00:18:08,828 --> 00:18:11,130 ignored for years, 367 00:18:11,164 --> 00:18:14,133 while I sit there wondering when the bomb will go off, 368 00:18:14,167 --> 00:18:17,202 waiting to see if a jury of my peers will believe... 369 00:18:19,806 --> 00:18:21,140 ...believe a woman 370 00:18:21,174 --> 00:18:24,128 who wore a skirt a few inches too short, 371 00:18:24,844 --> 00:18:27,613 who had a few cocktails too many at a bar last night 372 00:18:27,647 --> 00:18:29,815 after having a fight 373 00:18:29,849 --> 00:18:33,819 about laundry with her husband. 374 00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:38,357 And you know the tequila I drank will make it my fault, 375 00:18:38,391 --> 00:18:40,893 and whoever did this to me, whatever he drank... 376 00:18:40,927 --> 00:18:43,061 that'll be his excuse! 377 00:18:48,835 --> 00:18:52,971 Is your kit gonna convince them I wasn't flirting at the bar? 378 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:56,875 If I give them my story and my underwear, 379 00:18:56,910 --> 00:19:00,179 will it prove to them... or to my husband... 380 00:19:00,213 --> 00:19:03,048 that I didn't cheat on him and make up some story 381 00:19:03,082 --> 00:19:05,050 just to save my own ass? 382 00:19:05,084 --> 00:19:07,052 Okay... 383 00:19:07,086 --> 00:19:08,987 Will your kit do that?! 384 00:19:10,356 --> 00:19:13,225 O... All... All right, deep breath. 385 00:19:13,259 --> 00:19:15,027 That's it. 386 00:19:15,061 --> 00:19:17,223 Slow deep breath. 387 00:19:21,134 --> 00:19:23,669 My ex-husband, he hurt me. 388 00:19:23,703 --> 00:19:25,904 Not in the way that you were hurt, but he hit me... 389 00:19:25,939 --> 00:19:28,006 he hurt me, for years. 390 00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:31,677 And I was so, so terrified. 391 00:19:31,711 --> 00:19:33,846 And so convinced that no one would believe me, 392 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,515 and I was so, so alone... 393 00:19:36,549 --> 00:19:39,184 I never had the chance or the choice 394 00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:41,086 to hold him responsible. 395 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,241 I can't imagine 396 00:19:42,276 --> 00:19:43,622 how you are feeling right now. 397 00:19:43,656 --> 00:19:45,524 I can't. 398 00:19:45,558 --> 00:19:49,294 But, one day, you might feel differently. 399 00:19:49,329 --> 00:19:50,929 You might want justice, 400 00:19:50,964 --> 00:19:55,594 and I want you to have everything you need to do that. 401 00:20:04,110 --> 00:20:07,546 My husband... he can never know. 402 00:20:07,580 --> 00:20:09,081 He won't have to. 403 00:20:15,154 --> 00:20:16,989 Do it. 404 00:20:17,023 --> 00:20:19,391 Just do the damn kit. 405 00:20:19,425 --> 00:20:20,726 Okay. Okay. 406 00:20:21,961 --> 00:20:23,095 That's it. There you go. 407 00:20:23,129 --> 00:20:24,129 There you go. 408 00:20:33,139 --> 00:20:34,506 Are you ready? 409 00:20:36,042 --> 00:20:37,576 You have to say it. 410 00:20:37,610 --> 00:20:38,977 It's the law. 411 00:20:39,012 --> 00:20:41,179 You say yes, we go to the next step. 412 00:20:41,214 --> 00:20:43,950 You say no at any time, we stop. 413 00:20:45,618 --> 00:20:47,019 - Okay. - Okay. 414 00:20:49,856 --> 00:20:50,589 Yes. 415 00:20:57,063 --> 00:20:59,031 Are you ready? 416 00:20:59,065 --> 00:21:01,133 Yes. 417 00:21:24,357 --> 00:21:26,358 Are you ready? 418 00:21:26,392 --> 00:21:27,626 Yes. 419 00:21:40,540 --> 00:21:42,207 Are you ready? 420 00:21:42,241 --> 00:21:46,812 Yes. 421 00:21:58,358 --> 00:22:00,759 Are you ready? 422 00:22:00,793 --> 00:22:03,061 Yes. 423 00:22:03,096 --> 00:22:05,664 Yes. 424 00:22:05,698 --> 00:22:06,999 Yes. 425 00:22:13,272 --> 00:22:17,653 Abby, we're done. 426 00:22:21,114 --> 00:22:22,848 I'm here, okay. 427 00:22:22,882 --> 00:22:24,116 I'm right here. 428 00:22:24,150 --> 00:22:25,584 You're okay. 429 00:22:25,618 --> 00:22:27,185 Abby, you're okay. 430 00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:37,089 You never told anyone. 431 00:22:39,460 --> 00:22:41,094 The police, your parents... 432 00:22:41,129 --> 00:22:44,264 I convinced the few people who noticed 433 00:22:44,299 --> 00:22:46,099 that it was just the freshman 15, 434 00:22:46,134 --> 00:22:50,304 and I was able to dodge Christmas break 435 00:22:50,338 --> 00:22:55,108 by lying about... finals and work studies. 436 00:22:55,143 --> 00:22:56,877 You didn't tell anyone you were pregnant? 437 00:22:56,911 --> 00:22:58,277 No, no. 438 00:22:59,580 --> 00:23:00,614 I mean, it... 439 00:23:00,648 --> 00:23:04,217 it wasn't until years after it happened that... 440 00:23:04,252 --> 00:23:05,585 After I happened. 441 00:23:05,620 --> 00:23:07,354 After the rape happened. 442 00:23:09,257 --> 00:23:10,957 After I was raped. 443 00:23:12,527 --> 00:23:14,728 I eventually found my way to therapy, 444 00:23:14,762 --> 00:23:16,096 and I did all the work, 445 00:23:16,130 --> 00:23:18,298 and I wrote in journals, 446 00:23:18,333 --> 00:23:20,434 and I learned all the PTSD triggers. 447 00:23:20,468 --> 00:23:22,269 I-I actually had to work through 448 00:23:22,303 --> 00:23:23,637 calling it "rape" to begin with. 449 00:23:23,671 --> 00:23:26,139 Because I did say yes to that date, 450 00:23:26,174 --> 00:23:29,976 and I did say yes to getting in that car, and... 451 00:23:30,011 --> 00:23:32,346 Someone somewhere along the way... 452 00:23:32,380 --> 00:23:33,380 a man, most likely... 453 00:23:33,414 --> 00:23:35,682 decided they wanted to qualify this word, "rape." 454 00:23:35,717 --> 00:23:38,251 You know, date rape, a-acquaintance rape. 455 00:23:38,286 --> 00:23:41,288 Somehow, it... it... it... it's... it's not as real 456 00:23:41,322 --> 00:23:42,823 unless it happens to a woman 457 00:23:42,857 --> 00:23:46,693 who's running through the park at night or... 458 00:23:46,728 --> 00:23:50,364 or walking down a dark alley. 459 00:23:50,398 --> 00:23:53,300 As somehow, because I knew him, 460 00:23:53,334 --> 00:23:55,202 what he took from me didn't matter. 461 00:23:55,236 --> 00:23:56,703 But it did matter. 462 00:23:56,738 --> 00:23:59,606 I found a way to hear that. 463 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,924 I found a way to believe that. 464 00:24:02,744 --> 00:24:04,718 And I... 465 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,048 I found a way to move forward. 466 00:24:08,082 --> 00:24:09,916 You got therapy. 467 00:24:11,085 --> 00:24:12,219 Yeah. 468 00:24:12,253 --> 00:24:14,154 You moved forward. 469 00:24:16,257 --> 00:24:17,924 Mm-hmm. 470 00:24:19,060 --> 00:24:21,528 And you didn't once try and find me? 471 00:24:25,366 --> 00:24:27,934 I was petrified. 472 00:24:30,405 --> 00:24:34,541 I was petrified every single moment of my pregnancy. 473 00:24:34,575 --> 00:24:37,511 I mean, it was bad enough that I had to see his face 474 00:24:37,545 --> 00:24:39,379 every day in class. 475 00:24:39,414 --> 00:24:41,463 I was so terrified... 476 00:24:42,383 --> 00:24:46,927 imagining that you'd be a boy 477 00:24:47,755 --> 00:24:51,591 and that you'd have his face and his voice. 478 00:24:51,626 --> 00:24:55,695 And every day, every kick, every movement, 479 00:24:55,730 --> 00:24:58,480 it just reminded me where you came from. 480 00:25:00,968 --> 00:25:04,738 But, you know, movies and books and... and magazines, 481 00:25:04,772 --> 00:25:07,698 they just kept talking about this... 482 00:25:09,076 --> 00:25:13,947 love that you feel the minute your baby is born. 483 00:25:13,981 --> 00:25:15,582 How instantaneous it is 484 00:25:15,616 --> 00:25:19,052 and how, um, your heart just cracks wide open, and... 485 00:25:20,488 --> 00:25:23,590 And I remember, I kept telling myself 486 00:25:23,624 --> 00:25:25,392 that as soon as I had you in my arms 487 00:25:25,426 --> 00:25:27,342 that I could do that 488 00:25:28,095 --> 00:25:29,930 and that I would do that. 489 00:25:29,964 --> 00:25:34,801 Other women did it, so why couldn't I? 490 00:25:34,836 --> 00:25:38,038 So I gave the hospital a fake name. 491 00:25:38,072 --> 00:25:42,375 I left with you... the day you were born. 492 00:25:42,410 --> 00:25:43,577 I remember they wanted me to stay, 493 00:25:43,611 --> 00:25:45,545 and they wanted me to rest, but I just wanted to get out. 494 00:25:45,580 --> 00:25:48,448 I just wanted to get out of there, and I just wanted... 495 00:25:52,086 --> 00:25:53,487 I just wanted to be alone with you, 496 00:25:53,521 --> 00:25:56,389 and I just wanted it to be the two of us, and... 497 00:25:59,126 --> 00:26:01,428 ...and I wanted to stare at you and hold you... 498 00:26:05,099 --> 00:26:07,033 ...'til that love came. 499 00:26:08,703 --> 00:26:11,304 But it never did. 500 00:26:11,339 --> 00:26:13,440 No, it did. 501 00:26:15,031 --> 00:26:16,076 It did. 502 00:26:16,110 --> 00:26:18,727 Everything they said was absolutely right. 503 00:26:19,947 --> 00:26:22,682 My heart cracked wide open. 504 00:26:26,888 --> 00:26:28,488 It was never just us, 505 00:26:28,523 --> 00:26:31,198 no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did. 506 00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,952 I was just a reminder of him. 507 00:26:35,530 --> 00:26:38,098 I resented you so much for it. 508 00:26:41,135 --> 00:26:43,460 I spent most of my life... 509 00:26:44,572 --> 00:26:48,048 doubting everyone I ever met, 510 00:26:49,010 --> 00:26:51,677 leaving them before they could leave me. 511 00:26:52,847 --> 00:26:54,174 I am a grown woman 512 00:26:56,350 --> 00:26:59,986 With a job that I love and friends I love 513 00:27:00,021 --> 00:27:01,788 and a husband who loves me, 514 00:27:01,822 --> 00:27:03,564 and still... 515 00:27:04,759 --> 00:27:06,066 still... 516 00:27:07,094 --> 00:27:11,405 I was walking around, uh, waiting, 517 00:27:12,934 --> 00:27:15,302 wondering if you would ever find me. 518 00:27:16,938 --> 00:27:19,372 If you would ever say that you're sorry. 519 00:27:23,344 --> 00:27:24,477 I did the best I could. 520 00:27:24,512 --> 00:27:26,913 The best you could would've been to find an adoption agency 521 00:27:26,948 --> 00:27:29,583 and make sure I had a home and someone to love me, 522 00:27:29,617 --> 00:27:31,518 not toss me away like garbage. 523 00:27:32,620 --> 00:27:35,555 It is so easy to look at me now 524 00:27:35,590 --> 00:27:36,623 and think of all the ways 525 00:27:36,657 --> 00:27:41,428 that I could've been kinder, better, or smarter, 526 00:27:41,462 --> 00:27:42,561 but... 527 00:27:44,699 --> 00:27:46,866 ...I was not the person I am today. 528 00:27:46,901 --> 00:27:48,668 I was not in my right mind. 529 00:27:48,703 --> 00:27:51,338 I wasn't in my mind at all. 530 00:27:53,474 --> 00:27:59,369 That night that... that he held me down, screaming. 531 00:28:00,314 --> 00:28:03,416 That night that he had his hands around my throat 532 00:28:03,451 --> 00:28:05,619 until I stopped screaming, 533 00:28:05,653 --> 00:28:07,587 when I was hovering over my own body 534 00:28:07,622 --> 00:28:10,223 while he was tearing away at me, 535 00:28:10,257 --> 00:28:12,959 that night that he smiled 536 00:28:12,994 --> 00:28:17,471 and he forced me to say that I liked it, 537 00:28:18,299 --> 00:28:20,900 when he laughed and... 538 00:28:22,169 --> 00:28:25,705 ...promised that we could do it any time that I wanted to... 539 00:28:28,576 --> 00:28:32,846 ...that was the night that I lost my right mind. 540 00:28:33,814 --> 00:28:36,750 He stole it from me, and for nine months... 541 00:28:36,784 --> 00:28:39,786 for nine months, I pretended I was fine. 542 00:28:39,820 --> 00:28:42,255 I pretended that I wasn't a zombie, 543 00:28:42,289 --> 00:28:45,207 that I wasn't numb or dead inside. 544 00:28:45,826 --> 00:28:47,927 And then, the day that you were born, 545 00:28:47,962 --> 00:28:51,231 I held you, and I looked at your face, 546 00:28:51,265 --> 00:28:52,666 and I... 547 00:28:55,202 --> 00:28:57,570 ...I could feel again for the first time, 548 00:28:57,605 --> 00:28:59,606 but... 549 00:29:03,644 --> 00:29:05,545 ...my mind... 550 00:29:07,148 --> 00:29:08,682 ...that took years to come back. 551 00:29:08,716 --> 00:29:11,651 In fact, I'm... Part of it never did. 552 00:29:14,689 --> 00:29:17,257 Of course you deserved better. 553 00:29:21,629 --> 00:29:24,064 I didn't have better to give you. 554 00:29:32,740 --> 00:29:34,641 I was seven weeks pregnant 555 00:29:34,675 --> 00:29:36,609 when my ex-husband cracked my ribs 556 00:29:36,644 --> 00:29:38,945 and threw me across the living room floor. 557 00:29:41,148 --> 00:29:42,682 He didn't know that I was pregnant, 558 00:29:42,717 --> 00:29:47,120 and I decided in that moment that he could never know. 559 00:29:49,056 --> 00:29:52,441 I couldn't... I couldn't see a way out. 560 00:29:52,993 --> 00:29:54,394 Not then, at least. 561 00:29:56,330 --> 00:29:57,530 I knew that, if I tried to leave, 562 00:29:57,565 --> 00:29:59,232 he would kill me. 563 00:29:59,266 --> 00:30:02,702 But I also knew that I couldn't raise a kid 564 00:30:02,737 --> 00:30:06,439 in that... fear, and in that danger. 565 00:30:07,775 --> 00:30:09,708 You had an abortion. 566 00:30:10,377 --> 00:30:12,377 I've never told anyone that. 567 00:30:13,681 --> 00:30:15,582 I don't know why. I'm not ashamed of it. 568 00:30:15,616 --> 00:30:16,666 I... 569 00:30:18,753 --> 00:30:21,421 I did what I had to do. 570 00:30:34,568 --> 00:30:36,569 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 571 00:30:40,941 --> 00:30:42,742 Do I look like him? 572 00:30:48,749 --> 00:30:51,124 You have my father's eyes... 573 00:30:52,873 --> 00:30:54,507 but the hair is all mine. 574 00:30:57,057 --> 00:30:59,559 And maybe the fire in the belly. 575 00:31:03,063 --> 00:31:05,465 I did the best I could, 576 00:31:05,499 --> 00:31:06,766 and I'm still... 577 00:31:10,137 --> 00:31:12,705 I'm sorry. I'm still just doing the best I can. 578 00:31:41,622 --> 00:31:44,319 She's becoming increasingly tachypneic. 579 00:31:44,395 --> 00:31:46,529 Let OR 1 know that we're on our way. 580 00:31:46,554 --> 00:31:48,522 Abby, it's time. 581 00:31:48,556 --> 00:31:49,571 We have to go up now. 582 00:31:49,606 --> 00:31:50,924 No. I'm not... I'm not ready. I'm... 583 00:31:50,959 --> 00:31:52,859 Abby, I know you're scared. 584 00:31:52,894 --> 00:31:53,994 No, you're gonna... you're gonna... 585 00:31:54,028 --> 00:31:57,097 you're gonna take me out and knock me out where I... 586 00:31:57,131 --> 00:31:59,449 the last time I was out, h-he knocked me out. 587 00:31:59,484 --> 00:32:00,734 Abby. Abby, listen to me. 588 00:32:00,768 --> 00:32:03,036 If we don't do this surgery now, it could kill you. 589 00:32:03,071 --> 00:32:05,405 I can't. 590 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,375 I can't leave here, this room. 591 00:32:08,409 --> 00:32:10,777 Everyone has his face, every man. 592 00:32:10,812 --> 00:32:12,412 It's all I see. 593 00:32:12,447 --> 00:32:14,548 Even when I close my eyes... 594 00:32:14,582 --> 00:32:16,550 Please. I can't see his face. 595 00:32:16,584 --> 00:32:18,452 Please don't I... make me see his face, please. 596 00:32:18,486 --> 00:32:20,373 You don't have to, Abby. 597 00:32:20,408 --> 00:32:21,521 You don't have to. 598 00:32:24,492 --> 00:32:25,652 Okay. 599 00:32:25,686 --> 00:32:29,696 Tuck says they're talking. What is that? Talking? 600 00:32:29,731 --> 00:32:31,431 I think they're dating. 601 00:32:31,466 --> 00:32:33,867 Mnh. Why do they do that? 602 00:32:33,901 --> 00:32:35,569 Why do they insist on coming up with new words 603 00:32:35,603 --> 00:32:37,604 when the old words were just fine? 604 00:32:39,507 --> 00:32:41,575 It's not funny. 605 00:32:41,609 --> 00:32:43,977 Well, you... you do sound a little, you know, 606 00:32:44,012 --> 00:32:45,379 "Get off my lawn!" 607 00:32:45,413 --> 00:32:46,480 No. 608 00:32:46,514 --> 00:32:49,249 I want him to be happy. 609 00:32:49,283 --> 00:32:50,283 I want him to, you know, 610 00:32:50,318 --> 00:32:52,652 have the butterflies and first love and all that. 611 00:32:52,687 --> 00:32:54,821 Mm-hmm. Yeah, just not so soon. 612 00:32:56,958 --> 00:32:58,925 We're gonna have to sit his butt down 613 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:01,561 and teach him about respect... 614 00:33:03,031 --> 00:33:05,899 ...empathy, consent. 615 00:33:05,933 --> 00:33:07,267 Condoms... Oh, dear Lord. 616 00:33:07,301 --> 00:33:08,935 I have to talk to my son about condoms. 617 00:33:08,970 --> 00:33:11,004 100%. 618 00:33:11,039 --> 00:33:12,349 Or... 619 00:33:13,708 --> 00:33:15,644 I could sit down with him. 620 00:33:16,377 --> 00:33:18,146 It can be on you. 621 00:33:19,380 --> 00:33:23,818 But my dad gave me this talk, and it worked. 622 00:33:26,854 --> 00:33:28,588 Mm, I gotta go. 623 00:33:32,727 --> 00:33:33,775 Oh, I'm sorry, sir. 624 00:33:33,809 --> 00:33:35,595 You, uh... You can't go through there. 625 00:33:35,630 --> 00:33:36,630 Well, why not? 626 00:33:36,664 --> 00:33:38,799 Because I've been asked to see that you don't. 627 00:33:38,833 --> 00:33:39,876 Wha... 628 00:33:41,903 --> 00:33:43,537 Well, but she can go? 629 00:33:43,571 --> 00:33:44,604 Yes, sir. 630 00:33:52,747 --> 00:33:54,981 Dr. Karev asked us to all stand here? 631 00:33:55,016 --> 00:33:56,116 Do we know why? 632 00:33:56,150 --> 00:33:59,686 Just... that a patient needs us. 633 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:01,231 She needs all of us. 634 00:34:02,490 --> 00:34:03,690 Okay. 635 00:34:06,661 --> 00:34:08,795 Okay, ladies, we need you all to line up 636 00:34:08,830 --> 00:34:10,664 either on the right side or left. 637 00:34:10,698 --> 00:34:12,993 Please keep this middle aisle clear. 638 00:34:14,735 --> 00:34:16,670 Are you ready? 639 00:34:31,352 --> 00:34:32,929 Yes. 640 00:35:51,799 --> 00:35:52,999 Ready? 641 00:35:58,339 --> 00:36:00,140 I'm staying right here. 642 00:36:16,657 --> 00:36:18,024 I've seen soldiers like this. 643 00:36:20,161 --> 00:36:21,461 Young women and young men, brutalized, 644 00:36:21,495 --> 00:36:23,830 with no idea how to talk about it. 645 00:36:24,966 --> 00:36:27,934 What you did today with Abby, that was not protocol... 646 00:36:27,969 --> 00:36:30,270 I know, I know, and I'm sorry. 647 00:36:30,304 --> 00:36:33,273 I'm saying it should be. 648 00:36:43,935 --> 00:36:45,602 Abby, hi. 649 00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:49,139 We were able to repair your diaphragm. 650 00:36:49,173 --> 00:36:51,374 We had to place in a chest tube for drainage, 651 00:36:51,409 --> 00:36:53,611 but that'll probably come out in a few days. 652 00:36:54,445 --> 00:36:58,348 And your kit will stay here, if you decide to report it. 653 00:37:00,017 --> 00:37:01,918 You think I should do it, don't you? 654 00:37:01,953 --> 00:37:04,205 That is not our call to make. 655 00:37:05,857 --> 00:37:09,092 But we do think that you should talk to someone. 656 00:37:09,127 --> 00:37:10,837 Doesn't have to be your husband. 657 00:37:11,562 --> 00:37:13,006 But someone. 658 00:37:14,031 --> 00:37:16,467 I keep going over it in my head. 659 00:37:17,969 --> 00:37:20,930 If I hadn't been so distracted by my phone. 660 00:37:21,873 --> 00:37:23,607 If I had just trusted my gut 661 00:37:23,641 --> 00:37:26,387 and not gone down that street with the broken lamplights. 662 00:37:26,421 --> 00:37:28,187 Abby. 663 00:37:29,247 --> 00:37:32,817 This was not your fault. 664 00:37:33,785 --> 00:37:35,653 You didn't ask for this. 665 00:37:36,754 --> 00:37:40,190 There is nothing you did to deserve this. 666 00:37:42,660 --> 00:37:44,027 I can't. 667 00:37:44,061 --> 00:37:45,262 I just can't... 668 00:37:45,296 --> 00:37:47,030 Okay, that's okay. 669 00:37:48,065 --> 00:37:49,902 I'll check in on you in a little bit, all right? 670 00:37:49,937 --> 00:37:51,142 Try to get some rest. 671 00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:53,757 Dr. Felix to the ER. 672 00:37:53,792 --> 00:37:55,602 Dr. Felix to the ER. 673 00:37:59,811 --> 00:38:01,344 Jack... 674 00:38:04,448 --> 00:38:07,818 He's gonna look at me and see this broken person. 675 00:38:10,354 --> 00:38:14,391 If I tell him this, it's all he'll ever see. 676 00:38:14,425 --> 00:38:15,725 Abby, look at me. 677 00:38:17,328 --> 00:38:19,229 This doesn't define you. 678 00:38:19,263 --> 00:38:21,765 And whether you tell your husband or you report it 679 00:38:21,799 --> 00:38:24,835 or you don't tell another soul, you're a survivor. 680 00:38:24,869 --> 00:38:26,621 You survived. 681 00:38:27,505 --> 00:38:29,472 I still feel nauseous when I see 682 00:38:29,507 --> 00:38:32,609 men in expensive shoes with the points of the toes, 683 00:38:32,643 --> 00:38:34,978 because that's how my ex-husband made my kidney bleed. 684 00:38:35,012 --> 00:38:37,814 For years, I thought I got what I deserved, 685 00:38:37,849 --> 00:38:40,717 that I was responsible, that maybe, 686 00:38:40,751 --> 00:38:45,388 just maybe if I had said or done one thing differently... 687 00:38:45,423 --> 00:38:47,290 But none of that was your fault. 688 00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:48,658 No. 689 00:38:53,724 --> 00:38:55,859 It's not your fault. 690 00:39:07,945 --> 00:39:10,780 Do you have a phone I can use? 691 00:39:10,815 --> 00:39:11,999 Yes. 692 00:39:16,687 --> 00:39:18,755 Will you stay? 693 00:39:18,789 --> 00:39:21,291 As long as you need. 694 00:39:46,317 --> 00:39:48,518 Any game we watch on TV... right? they... 695 00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:53,790 they run, toss, wrestle, chase, until someone gets hurt. 696 00:39:53,824 --> 00:39:57,494 Or until someone calls "time out." 697 00:39:57,528 --> 00:39:59,029 Then the game stops. 698 00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:01,197 And no matter how much fun they're having, 699 00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:02,866 everything stops. 700 00:40:04,769 --> 00:40:06,179 That's consent. 701 00:40:07,338 --> 00:40:08,972 I thought we were just having burgers. 702 00:40:09,006 --> 00:40:11,408 Yeah, well, I thought talking was just talking, 703 00:40:11,442 --> 00:40:13,209 but you and I both know that's not the same thing anymore, 704 00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:14,711 so... 705 00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:20,650 You pay attention to the girl you're with, all right? 706 00:40:20,685 --> 00:40:22,719 You... You... You need to care about her feelings, 707 00:40:22,753 --> 00:40:23,753 her... her joy, 708 00:40:23,788 --> 00:40:26,056 at... at least as much as you care about your own. 709 00:40:26,090 --> 00:40:27,657 Okay, okay. 710 00:40:27,692 --> 00:40:29,926 And she gets to change her mind. At any time. 711 00:40:29,961 --> 00:40:32,662 I mean, if she says "stop," or if she stops having fun, you... 712 00:40:32,697 --> 00:40:34,998 you just plain stop. 713 00:40:35,032 --> 00:40:36,733 Time out. 714 00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:37,767 Game over. 715 00:40:37,802 --> 00:40:38,802 I know. 716 00:40:41,806 --> 00:40:44,574 Being with someone you like is... 717 00:40:45,876 --> 00:40:48,678 There's nothing like it, and I want you to be safe and happy, 718 00:40:48,713 --> 00:40:52,415 but that only happens if she is, too. 719 00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:53,750 Okay. 720 00:40:53,784 --> 00:40:54,851 Say it. 721 00:40:56,887 --> 00:40:58,788 Say it. 722 00:41:01,492 --> 00:41:05,628 If she stops having fun, just plain stop. 723 00:41:05,663 --> 00:41:06,763 Time out. Game over. 724 00:41:06,797 --> 00:41:08,324 Always. 725 00:41:08,933 --> 00:41:12,769 Now, pass those fries and tell me what this Kelly is like. 726 00:41:14,839 --> 00:41:16,207 Yeah. 727 00:41:16,807 --> 00:41:19,042 Too often, trauma gets dismissed 728 00:41:19,076 --> 00:41:21,778 as "just in our head." 729 00:41:21,812 --> 00:41:23,392 But the pain is real. 730 00:41:25,100 --> 00:41:26,634 We feel it... 731 00:41:27,284 --> 00:41:30,820 in our muscles, our cells, 732 00:41:30,855 --> 00:41:33,923 our hearts, our heads. 733 00:41:37,795 --> 00:41:40,230 And while there's no magic fix... 734 00:41:41,766 --> 00:41:44,068 ...no pill to make it disappear, 735 00:41:45,603 --> 00:41:46,970 we can ask for help. 736 00:41:50,608 --> 00:41:53,443 Hey, I'm officially no longer the interim chief, 737 00:41:53,477 --> 00:41:55,011 and officially starving. 738 00:41:55,046 --> 00:41:56,846 Can I take you out to celebrate? 739 00:41:56,881 --> 00:41:58,014 I've had a rough day. 740 00:41:58,049 --> 00:41:59,783 I don't really feel like celebrating. 741 00:41:59,817 --> 00:42:01,484 Yeah, well, we can just talk. 742 00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:03,853 I just want to go home and crawl into bed. 743 00:42:03,888 --> 00:42:04,966 All right, well, we can do that. 744 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,156 Alex, I'm tired. 745 00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:08,992 Can you just go celebrate with Meredith? 746 00:42:09,026 --> 00:42:11,127 Jo, it's me. You can talk to me. 747 00:42:11,162 --> 00:42:12,662 What... you think with all my family crap 748 00:42:12,696 --> 00:42:13,764 that I'm gonna judge you? 749 00:42:14,166 --> 00:42:16,027 I'm not going to judge. 750 00:42:16,028 --> 00:42:18,769 Just, I just want you talk to me. 751 00:42:19,233 --> 00:42:21,233 I don't want to talk about it. 752 00:42:21,250 --> 00:42:23,250 Alex, I... 753 00:42:24,316 --> 00:42:26,029 I can't talk about it. 754 00:42:26,030 --> 00:42:28,029 I just want to go home. 755 00:42:28,095 --> 00:42:30,095 I want to go home alone. 756 00:42:30,163 --> 00:42:32,325 I want to go home and sleep. 757 00:42:32,522 --> 00:42:34,327 Please. 758 00:42:37,842 --> 00:42:39,752 It wont change tell our truth. 759 00:42:42,090 --> 00:42:44,090 Whenever we are ready.