1
00:00:31,413 --> 00:00:33,504
No! Not the tickles!

2
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,811
Come on, honey. Let's go inside.

3
00:00:40,836 --> 00:00:44,452
- I have this pretty stick.
- Oh, it's a cool stick.

4
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:48,164
This mud was probably
a little too much, huh?

5
00:01:00,334 --> 00:01:06,434
www.subtitulamos.tv

6
00:01:06,708 --> 00:01:08,510
Holy shit.

7
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,513
Holy shit.

8
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:13,874
Holy shit! All of it?

9
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,535
And with 24 hours to go.

10
00:01:18,632 --> 00:01:20,224
That was so much work!

11
00:01:20,249 --> 00:01:23,159
An incredible amount
of stupid, idiot work.

12
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:24,894
- I hate work, and that was...
- Of which I did most.

13
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,396
Okay, now that's
really open for debate.

14
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,631
I'm just saying
that I did all of it.

15
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:28,622
And not really the point.

16
00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:29,990
This is really my wedding.

17
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,992
My second marriage, I'm eloping.

18
00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:33,894
- No doubt.
- Why isn't Edgar cooking us

19
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,496
some pre-wedding fritters
or some shit?

20
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:36,906
Oh, he's putting
the finishing touches

21
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,966
on his Best Man Jimmy day.

22
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:41,435
Yuck. Lindser and I got
to run all over town

23
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:44,104
getting this face
and body camera-ready.

24
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,306
Do you think I need to...?

25
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:46,750
No one's gonna
be looking at you.

26
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:47,975
Literally no one.

27
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,819
You're invisible tomorrow.
No one gives a fuck.

28
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,179
You could die.

29
00:01:51,655 --> 00:01:55,082
I can't believe
how not freaked out I am.

30
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,661
I thought I would be shitting my
pants the day before my wedding,

31
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,153
but I just feel so good

32
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,021
since I came clean to you
about everything.

33
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:04,827
You have given me a gift
no one has before.

34
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:07,834
Acceptance.

35
00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:10,570
Unconditional acceptance.

36
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,800
Jimmy, it's all I ever wanted.

37
00:02:13,163 --> 00:02:15,203
I finally feel truly safe.

38
00:02:16,077 --> 00:02:18,326
God, I'm genuinely touched.

39
00:02:18,351 --> 00:02:20,499
So safe, in fact...

40
00:02:21,827 --> 00:02:23,110
What are you doing there?

41
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,978
So safe I feel like
I can do anything

42
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:27,538
and you'll never leave me,
no matter what I do.

43
00:02:29,251 --> 00:02:30,552
Why would you do that?

44
00:02:30,577 --> 00:02:33,120
It's a metaphor for how I can
do anything I want now.

45
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,564
Yeah, a metaphor
I'll be cleaning up.

46
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,857
You know you don't need
to fix my problems, Jimmy.

47
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,125
So you're gonna clean it up?

48
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,160
Cleaning it up
ruins the metaphor.

49
00:02:41,515 --> 00:02:43,697
Paul! Did you get LASIK?

50
00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:46,734
Oh, good Lord. Costume changes?

51
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,702
I guess I won't see you until...

52
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:52,540
You're walking down the aisle in
hilariously incongruous white?

53
00:02:53,468 --> 00:02:55,998
Kiss, kiss, kiss,

54
00:02:56,023 --> 00:02:57,578
kiss, kiss,

55
00:02:57,611 --> 00:03:00,718
kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!

56
00:03:00,743 --> 00:03:02,158
- Kiss!
- Have sex, have sex,

57
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,552
- have sex, have sex.
- All right.

58
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,187
Let's get this over with.

59
00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:08,489
Don't lose him.

60
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,924
I need that piece of shit
to marry me tomorrow.

61
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,360
I won't.

62
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,373
Ugh! I guess
I'll go get dressed.

63
00:03:14,398 --> 00:03:16,830
Wait! Before you put on
your pants,

64
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,266
where's your favorite place
to go?

65
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,132
- Nowhere.
- That's where we're going.

66
00:03:20,507 --> 00:03:23,337
Are you serious?
I don't have to put on pants?

67
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,038
You can Donald Duck that shit

68
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:27,875
because this is your day.

69
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:30,177
Everything is coming to us.

70
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,780
Manis, pedis, facials,
food, booze.

71
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:36,617
Thank you. I am stupid excited
to hang out with you.

72
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,853
- Same! Extra stupid.
- So...

73
00:03:40,031 --> 00:03:41,365
tell me the haps.

74
00:03:41,390 --> 00:03:44,116
What was it like
munching Yvette's puss?

75
00:03:45,031 --> 00:03:47,773
Oh. Mani-pedis must be early.

76
00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:52,795
Hello... sir?

77
00:03:54,469 --> 00:03:57,132
Sorry, wrong... door.

78
00:03:58,563 --> 00:04:00,331
You have to get rid of her.

79
00:04:00,356 --> 00:04:02,759
I'm serious, whatever it takes.

80
00:04:11,476 --> 00:04:12,920
Mommy.

81
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,155
Gretchen, why aren't you
wearing pants?

82
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,198
Do you not shave above the knee?

83
00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:19,735
I thought you and Daddy
had plans today.

84
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,600
Your father wanted to go
to the Reagan Library,

85
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,564
but I've already been there
so many times.

86
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:27,335
Hi, Mrs. Cutler.
So nice of you to surprise us.

87
00:04:27,359 --> 00:04:29,331
Gretchen, who is this person?

88
00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:30,472
Is that the right word?

89
00:04:30,497 --> 00:04:34,241
I want to be an ally,
but they make it so hard.

90
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,542
- How's your hotel, Mommy?
- Dreadful.

91
00:04:37,567 --> 00:04:39,480
They put us near the elevator,

92
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,159
so I made them move us.

93
00:04:41,184 --> 00:04:43,283
I had to go out into the hall,

94
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:46,554
then we were near a baby,
so I...

95
00:04:48,575 --> 00:04:50,268
For your butt.

96
00:04:50,301 --> 00:04:52,473
Sorry! Got to go.

97
00:04:54,825 --> 00:04:57,431
You are bailing on me
the day before my wedding?

98
00:04:57,456 --> 00:04:58,747
I'm sorry.
I love you, I love you.

99
00:04:58,772 --> 00:05:00,536
You're on your own. Sorry!

100
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:05,305
Is this a built-in couch?

101
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,608
Must be impossible to clean.

102
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,250
And you enjoy walking
on the bare floor?

103
00:05:14,434 --> 00:05:18,183
On the eve of this major
turning point in your life,

104
00:05:18,208 --> 00:05:20,721
we embark on three stops.

105
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,567
This first stop

106
00:05:22,592 --> 00:05:26,660
represents a dream
from your past.

107
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:29,563
Something you used to talk about

108
00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,064
but never got to do.

109
00:05:32,887 --> 00:05:35,669
Sochi 2014.

110
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:38,639
You wouldn't stop talking
about curling.

111
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,347
No sport more misunderstood.

112
00:05:41,372 --> 00:05:45,713
No players more understandably
hair-trigger defensive

113
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:49,082
than those of curling.

114
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:54,488
Fuck yeah.

115
00:07:41,116 --> 00:07:42,389
Hello?

116
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:47,421
Are you... me?

117
00:07:51,523 --> 00:07:52,640
Oh, thank God.

118
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,975
For a second I thought
I was in a Black Swan.

119
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,945
Becca is being reckless
with her health and, therefore,

120
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,613
with the health of my progeny.

121
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:02,482
She butt-dialed me
from a wine tour.

122
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,838
Gretchen's bitch mom
ruined my day,

123
00:08:04,863 --> 00:08:06,500
so let's sort this sitch out.

124
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,265
Becca? Get over here.

125
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:12,070
And bring back
all the TP you stole.

126
00:08:12,095 --> 00:08:14,430
Last night I had to wipe
with a sock.

127
00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:19,703
Have you ever
considered curtains?

128
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,470
How's Daddy? Is he playing a lot
of golf? How's his knee?

129
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:27,975
He's fine. Oh, before I forget,
I need to see the seating chart.

130
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,984
- Now?
- Thank you.

131
00:08:34,323 --> 00:08:35,490
Can you make it bigger?

132
00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:37,445
Go up.

133
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:41,521
You sat Robert next to his son?
You have to change it.

134
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:46,093
Who is this Paul person,
and why doesn't he have a table?

135
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,661
What if you moved him...?

136
00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:50,140
No! Paul throws everything off!

137
00:08:51,929 --> 00:08:54,289
I'm sorry.
Uh, the chart took forever.

138
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,037
Do you know
how embarrassing it is

139
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,865
when people ask me about
the menu and the flowers,

140
00:08:59,890 --> 00:09:01,717
and I just have to shrug

141
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:04,211
and say, "I suppose I'll see"?

142
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,513
Other than that phone call
in the middle of the night

143
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,029
to let me know that you
and Boone were getting married,

144
00:09:09,054 --> 00:09:11,164
you've haven't told me a thing.

145
00:09:13,210 --> 00:09:15,522
You sure we haven't talked
about the wedding since then?

146
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,726
Positive.

147
00:09:18,531 --> 00:09:23,131
That's really funny,
because I just realized now

148
00:09:23,156 --> 00:09:25,459
that there might have been
an assumption

149
00:09:25,484 --> 00:09:27,868
that I might have
inadvertently forgotten

150
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,737
to set the record straight,

151
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,265
and you might
still think that...

152
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,625
Mommy, I'm marrying Jimmy,
not Boone.

153
00:09:41,093 --> 00:09:43,150
- Mommy, I said I'm...
- I know you're marrying Jimmy.

154
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:45,125
I'm not a complete idiot.

155
00:09:45,578 --> 00:09:47,523
Oh. Then why are you here?

156
00:09:49,562 --> 00:09:51,845
Our daughter is getting married.

157
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,248
We've had front row seats
to all your mistakes,

158
00:09:57,273 --> 00:09:59,187
so why stop now?

159
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:03,492
Do you have a saltine?
I'm a bit peckish.

160
00:10:09,585 --> 00:10:11,845
Okay,
for our second stop, Jimmy,

161
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:15,045
- this one represents...
- Oh, let me guess. My present.

162
00:10:15,070 --> 00:10:17,795
No. Your present is now,
why would you need to visit it?

163
00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:20,921
No, it's your past again,
but this one is bad.

164
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:25,740
It's all the anger and stress
and anxiety you've held onto,

165
00:10:25,765 --> 00:10:29,546
and it is time to let it out.

166
00:10:33,664 --> 00:10:35,078
It's a smash room.

167
00:10:37,835 --> 00:10:43,218
A safe way to externally fight
the demons within.

168
00:10:44,141 --> 00:10:46,078
I can see how you might
be drawn to this,

169
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:48,279
but as someone who lives
his life honestly,

170
00:10:48,304 --> 00:10:50,654
I have no need for a safe space

171
00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:54,888
to vent the impotent rage
I simply do not possess.

172
00:11:06,853 --> 00:11:08,390
Yeah!

173
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:19,085
Aah!
Ah, yeah!

174
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:36,263
Dial-ins!

175
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:37,382
Sheila!

176
00:11:37,707 --> 00:11:39,093
Studio system!

177
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:41,501
Signature cocktails!

178
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,736
Vendors!

179
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:43,945
Caterers!

180
00:11:44,117 --> 00:11:45,576
Depression!

181
00:11:58,796 --> 00:12:00,593
Do it! Do it!

182
00:12:00,618 --> 00:12:02,404
Do it!

183
00:12:02,437 --> 00:12:05,025
Do it! Do it! Do it!

184
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,627
Do it!
Do it! Do it!

185
00:12:11,343 --> 00:12:13,242
I'm getting married, Papa.

186
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:24,435
Paul, Becca, please keep in mind
what's important is the welfare

187
00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:27,226
of a child that's going
to exist soon,

188
00:12:27,251 --> 00:12:30,443
so let's clear the air
and everyone agree to stop

189
00:12:30,468 --> 00:12:33,162
ruining Paul's baby,
you heinous bitch.

190
00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:35,381
I'm not ruining his baby.

191
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:38,792
I can't help it if the baby
craves unpasteurized cheese.

192
00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:40,959
- And sushi?
- I didn't eat sushi.

193
00:12:40,984 --> 00:12:43,045
It was sashimi.
Rice goes straight to my hips.

194
00:12:43,070 --> 00:12:44,264
Chillax, dorkus.

195
00:12:44,289 --> 00:12:45,930
It's good to challenge
babies' immune systems.

196
00:12:45,955 --> 00:12:47,585
That's how you make an X-Men.

197
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,256
You agreed to follow
a rigorous meal plan,

198
00:12:52,281 --> 00:12:54,443
to do yoga and Pilates,

199
00:12:54,468 --> 00:12:56,743
to play it trans-vaginal Mozart.

200
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,912
My wife's not jacking it
with that dildo speaker

201
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:00,693
to play your kid nerd music.

202
00:13:00,718 --> 00:13:03,295
- It's all in the contract.
- Since you brought it up,

203
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:07,279
I do have a solid legal basis
for increased parental rights

204
00:13:07,304 --> 00:13:10,490
due to the altered method
of insemination.

205
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:12,625
You want parental rights?

206
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:16,959
No, I just said I have a legal
basis for parental rights.

207
00:13:16,984 --> 00:13:19,432
Plus, I do have a geriatric womb

208
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,687
and might not ever
get pregnant again.

209
00:13:23,304 --> 00:13:24,771
What if I never get
pregnant again?

210
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,342
I'm not gonna lie, I was hoping
we'd get a do-over someday.

211
00:13:27,367 --> 00:13:28,608
Tallulah's great, but face it,

212
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,210
we're not turning
that boat around.

213
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:33,367
Vernon, we have
to keep this baby.

214
00:13:33,392 --> 00:13:35,959
I can already feel
how much it loves me.

215
00:13:35,984 --> 00:13:38,287
She's bluffing. When Bec and I
were kids, she would threaten

216
00:13:38,312 --> 00:13:41,188
to kill herself if I didn't
give her my Choco Taco.

217
00:13:41,359 --> 00:13:43,690
Please. Just tell me how much.

218
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:46,178
Paul, you can't put a price
on a mother's love.

219
00:13:46,203 --> 00:13:48,381
But if you want to put a price
on a mother's love,

220
00:13:48,406 --> 00:13:51,131
- low mid-to-mid six figs all in.
- Six?

221
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,764
If you're not willing
to give everything you have

222
00:13:52,789 --> 00:13:56,269
for this baby,
maybe you don't really want it.

223
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:01,467
I think you might be right.

224
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,865
- What?
- I love the idea of a child,

225
00:14:03,890 --> 00:14:08,313
but I don't think
I'm ready for the reality.

226
00:14:08,338 --> 00:14:10,006
I think...

227
00:14:12,611 --> 00:14:13,874
I think I'm out.

228
00:14:15,664 --> 00:14:16,625
Thank you, Becca.

229
00:14:16,650 --> 00:14:19,054
- Paul, no.
- I'll be okay.

230
00:14:19,539 --> 00:14:22,570
Maybe I'll take the hundreds
of thousands of dollars

231
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:24,497
I already put
into a college fund

232
00:14:24,522 --> 00:14:25,999
and use it towards my travels.

233
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:29,045
Babies are the real trip.
All kinds of new experiences.

234
00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:31,736
The nonstop screaming,
clipping them tiny fingie nails,

235
00:14:31,761 --> 00:14:33,295
not being able
to run out right quick

236
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,083
to see the new Minions movie
'cause some

237
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,911
little dummy might roll over
onto her face and die.

238
00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:39,412
I think it may be best for all

239
00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:41,581
if I begin
my travels immediately.

240
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:45,445
Paul, you can't leave.
It's your baby.

241
00:15:01,210 --> 00:15:03,603
Wait, Paul! We were bluffing.

242
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:06,140
I can't do it all over again.
You can't make me.

243
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,467
20 grand, all in.

244
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:11,478
30, or I kill myself.

245
00:15:14,578 --> 00:15:15,782
Fifteen.

246
00:15:16,572 --> 00:15:17,859
- Done.
- Done.

247
00:15:22,718 --> 00:15:25,529
And when she refused to stop
parking in front of our house,

248
00:15:25,554 --> 00:15:30,006
I simply had Enrique change
the sprinklers to go off

249
00:15:30,031 --> 00:15:33,164
right before she had to leave
for work in the morning.

250
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,036
You think this marriage
is a mistake,

251
00:15:35,061 --> 00:15:36,523
and you weren't gonna
say anything?

252
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,709
Do we have to talk about this?

253
00:15:39,734 --> 00:15:41,741
We were having such a nice day.

254
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,873
Actually, we do have
to talk about it,

255
00:15:43,898 --> 00:15:46,428
and we're not having a nice day.
This is a terrible day.

256
00:15:46,453 --> 00:15:48,920
You are my mother,
and yet you refuse

257
00:15:48,945 --> 00:15:50,817
to ever talk to me
about anything real.

258
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:52,654
I was just telling you all about

259
00:15:52,679 --> 00:15:54,537
the new Oriental family
next door.

260
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:57,054
Anything real, Mother.

261
00:15:57,468 --> 00:16:00,360
You're so afraid you might hear
something unpleasant.

262
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,829
You always have
to be so provocative.

263
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:04,373
It's the day
before my fucking wedding,

264
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,178
and you know nothing about me!

265
00:16:06,203 --> 00:16:08,928
- What don't I know about you?
- Seriously?

266
00:16:08,953 --> 00:16:10,603
Let's see, uh,
in high school, I had

267
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,105
more sex in your bed
than you did.

268
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,540
Granny's Homer painting
that's been

269
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,542
in the family for decades?

270
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,178
Fake. I sold the original
to buy acid.

271
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,813
I said that my piano teacher
"bad-touched me"

272
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:22,562
to get out of a recital.

273
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,885
I'm gonna go have a cigarette.

274
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,404
Congratulations, Gretchen.

275
00:16:29,429 --> 00:16:31,396
You've driven
the help away again.

276
00:16:31,421 --> 00:16:34,678
The hamster didn't escape,
I forgot to feed him.

277
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:37,464
Abortions? Yup!

278
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,666
I didn't graduate from college.

279
00:16:39,855 --> 00:16:41,890
I know all of this, Gretchen.

280
00:16:43,671 --> 00:16:44,804
Bullshit.

281
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,307
No way.
You would have tried to stop me.

282
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,641
When could I ever control you?

283
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,977
When did you ever try?

284
00:16:51,515 --> 00:16:54,670
Did you ever think
that maybe, just maybe,

285
00:16:54,695 --> 00:16:57,084
all the terrible shit I did
was a cry for help?

286
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,719
-Your father and I didn't
want to indulge you. -Why not?

287
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,031
You wouldn't have figured out
how to take care of yourself.

288
00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:04,562
I can't take care of myself!

289
00:17:04,742 --> 00:17:07,443
I have been suffering
in the dark

290
00:17:07,468 --> 00:17:10,897
with a severe goddamn mental
illness for my entire life!

291
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,250
Oh, stop it.

292
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,810
Just because you're blue
now and again

293
00:17:14,835 --> 00:17:17,795
does not mean
that you have an illness.

294
00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:20,295
You caught me drowning
my American Girl dolls.

295
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,021
Why didn't you do anything?!

296
00:17:22,226 --> 00:17:23,623
This is really too much.

297
00:17:23,648 --> 00:17:25,953
I tried to kill myself, Mommy.

298
00:17:26,358 --> 00:17:27,768
I did.

299
00:17:28,406 --> 00:17:30,117
When I was 17.

300
00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:33,873
I really wanted to die.
I really did.

301
00:17:33,898 --> 00:17:36,250
I sometimes still do.

302
00:17:40,148 --> 00:17:41,361
You're right.

303
00:17:42,031 --> 00:17:44,664
Nothing we did
was ever enough for you.

304
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:48,195
Don't you think that
if I had talked to someone

305
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:53,357
when I was 13 or 17 or 26,

306
00:17:53,382 --> 00:17:55,408
that I would be better now?

307
00:17:55,914 --> 00:17:57,710
That I wouldn't be this person?

308
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,045
What do you want?

309
00:17:59,254 --> 00:18:00,889
Do you want me to hold you

310
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,828
and tell you
that I'm miserable, too?

311
00:18:03,093 --> 00:18:05,752
That I haven't felt love
for your father,

312
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:08,054
for anyone, in 20 years?

313
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,390
That I would kill
to have an affair

314
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,764
but I'm too scared
of what people might say?

315
00:18:13,789 --> 00:18:17,507
Or worse,
that no one would have me?

316
00:18:19,523 --> 00:18:20,767
Yes.

317
00:18:23,867 --> 00:18:25,789
Well, I don't.

318
00:18:27,679 --> 00:18:28,938
Everyone's fine.

319
00:18:30,648 --> 00:18:32,718
Life is good, Gretchen.

320
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,631
I don't know
why you have to make it

321
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,742
so difficult for yourself.

322
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:42,609
I don't make it difficult.
It is difficult.

323
00:18:49,148 --> 00:18:50,828
To be honest, it feels like...

324
00:18:50,853 --> 00:18:52,499
No one wants
to hear these things.

325
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,867
If you insist on sharing them,

326
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:57,136
you'll just push everyone away.

327
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,317
You're wrong, Mommy.

328
00:19:11,616 --> 00:19:14,585
Maybe it'll push you away,
but not Jimmy.

329
00:19:24,601 --> 00:19:26,765
Last stop on the train.

330
00:19:31,132 --> 00:19:33,453
Is this a private club?

331
00:19:33,570 --> 00:19:36,507
Where powerful people talk
about their mistresses

332
00:19:36,532 --> 00:19:38,006
and topple governments?

333
00:19:38,031 --> 00:19:40,585
Yup. And you're now a member.

334
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,182
It doesn't actually
unlock anything.

335
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:45,531
You just show it and you get in.

336
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:56,929
Yep. Enjoy.

337
00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,526
No. No, they'll sniff me out.

338
00:19:58,551 --> 00:20:01,501
No, that-that's the point
of this day.

339
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:05,495
You still think of yourself
as lowly, poor,

340
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:09,075
undeserving on the outside,
but, Jimmy...

341
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:17,450
you belong now.

342
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:23,890
Go ahead.

343
00:21:38,666 --> 00:21:40,500
Carve out sauvignon blanc

344
00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:42,207
in the third trimester,

345
00:21:42,232 --> 00:21:45,001
and you can do whatever you want
with my placenta.

346
00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:51,911
Threaten the well-being
of my child again,

347
00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:54,041
and I'll sue the britches
off of you.

348
00:22:03,932 --> 00:22:05,430
You jerk!

349
00:22:05,455 --> 00:22:07,188
You were gonna leave.

350
00:22:07,213 --> 00:22:08,922
I wasn't serious.

351
00:22:08,947 --> 00:22:11,798
I was calling Becca's bluff,
like you said.

352
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:15,549
I believed you.
Well done.

353
00:22:16,281 --> 00:22:18,650
Anyway, I'm glad you're staying.

354
00:22:20,330 --> 00:22:23,385
So, I guess I'll see you
tomorrow for the big day.

355
00:22:24,416 --> 00:22:26,180
Give me a call
if you need anything,

356
00:22:26,205 --> 00:22:28,214
or even if you
just want to talk.

357
00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:30,816
Does anybody talk
on the phone anymore?

358
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:34,877
"Klondike one nine,
patch me through, Midge."

359
00:22:36,572 --> 00:22:39,697
I don't know what you're doing,
but okay.

360
00:22:39,722 --> 00:22:41,050
Bye, Paul.

361
00:23:00,018 --> 00:23:01,380
Did I forget something?

362
00:23:01,414 --> 00:23:04,050
No. You said to call.

363
00:23:06,642 --> 00:23:08,189
Oh. Do you want me
to come back in?

364
00:23:09,841 --> 00:23:11,017
No.

365
00:23:12,245 --> 00:23:13,580
This is nice.

366
00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:16,228
Hey, Paul?

367
00:23:16,900 --> 00:23:18,230
Yes?

368
00:23:18,623 --> 00:23:20,314
How do fish sleep?

369
00:23:24,010 --> 00:23:25,797
Oh, golly.

370
00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:27,588
It's weirder than you think.

371
00:23:28,018 --> 00:23:31,471
For starters,
fish don't have eyelids.

372
00:23:38,317 --> 00:23:41,586
- You're leaving? - I have to go
meet your father at the hotel.

373
00:23:41,611 --> 00:23:43,723
Apparently,
he and the docent got into it

374
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:45,602
about Reagan's handling of AIDS,

375
00:23:45,627 --> 00:23:47,672
and he's still
a little wound up.

376
00:23:47,697 --> 00:23:49,161
I will see you tomorrow.

377
00:23:49,195 --> 00:23:51,230
- You're still coming?
- You know,

378
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:54,414
I see young people,
daughters of my friends

379
00:23:54,439 --> 00:23:56,539
struggling with the question
of having children,

380
00:23:56,564 --> 00:24:00,139
and I just want to tell them,
"Don't.

381
00:24:01,791 --> 00:24:02,969
It's not worth it."

382
00:24:02,994 --> 00:24:05,211
- Mom.
- I'm serious.

383
00:24:05,236 --> 00:24:07,279
What pleasure is it?

384
00:24:09,111 --> 00:24:10,916
You don't like me.

385
00:24:12,166 --> 00:24:13,861
Your brother's a child.

386
00:24:16,471 --> 00:24:17,865
You wanted real.

387
00:24:19,322 --> 00:24:20,800
Whatever you think of me,

388
00:24:20,869 --> 00:24:25,331
it's my job to want more for you
than you want for yourself.

389
00:24:25,932 --> 00:24:28,696
But if you need someone
who doesn't push you

390
00:24:28,721 --> 00:24:30,900
and embraces your flaws,

391
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:34,721
I'm glad you found Jimmy.

392
00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:38,135
I wish you had that, too, Mommy.

393
00:24:42,602 --> 00:24:43,923
See you tomorrow.

394
00:24:55,283 --> 00:24:58,289
What a rush. I was on fire.

395
00:24:58,314 --> 00:25:00,235
They followed my stories.

396
00:25:00,260 --> 00:25:04,649
They understood my obscure
allusions and complex wordplay.

397
00:25:04,674 --> 00:25:06,505
They loved me!

398
00:25:06,539 --> 00:25:08,741
You just found your people,
Jimmy.

399
00:25:09,986 --> 00:25:11,911
You found my people.

400
00:25:12,416 --> 00:25:15,907
You know, it is both
infuriating and humbling

401
00:25:15,932 --> 00:25:18,084
how thoughtful
of a friend you are.

402
00:25:18,117 --> 00:25:21,697
You've seen me
at my worst, and yet...

403
00:25:23,104 --> 00:25:25,157
you've always seen my worth.

404
00:25:26,166 --> 00:25:28,336
And still, it took me years,

405
00:25:28,361 --> 00:25:29,762
literally, to see yours.

406
00:25:29,796 --> 00:25:32,166
- It's okay, Jimmy.
- No. No, it's not.

407
00:25:32,765 --> 00:25:37,403
You are and have always been
my best man

408
00:25:38,010 --> 00:25:39,438
and my best friend.

409
00:25:39,846 --> 00:25:42,111
Thanks, Jimmy, I, uh...

410
00:25:42,252 --> 00:25:44,052
I thought this conversation
would be easier

411
00:25:44,076 --> 00:25:45,908
after everything we did today.

412
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:55,094
I wanted to remind you
how far you've come,

413
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,223
how much you've grown,

414
00:25:57,256 --> 00:25:59,225
so I can say this:

415
00:26:00,304 --> 00:26:01,892
don't marry her.

416
00:26:02,596 --> 00:26:04,463
You told me not to lie to you,

417
00:26:04,496 --> 00:26:06,579
and the truth is,
you can't do it.

418
00:26:06,604 --> 00:26:07,993
You can't marry Gretchen.

419
00:26:08,018 --> 00:26:12,329
No. No, Edgar, we're...
we're in a good place.

420
00:26:12,354 --> 00:26:15,908
I mean, she came clean with me.
She's stopped lying to me.

421
00:26:16,299 --> 00:26:18,310
- For me.
- I don't think it's enough.

422
00:26:18,344 --> 00:26:20,088
Because even when
you tell each other the truth,

423
00:26:20,112 --> 00:26:21,664
you don't do anything about it

424
00:26:21,689 --> 00:26:23,249
and you just end up
hurting each other.

425
00:26:23,282 --> 00:26:25,384
I'm not gonna hurt Gretchen.

426
00:26:25,814 --> 00:26:28,289
Not in ways that count.
She's a tough girl.

427
00:26:28,314 --> 00:26:30,556
- Beautiful. Are those your vows?
- Fuck you.

428
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:32,438
You guys hold
how you don't judge each other

429
00:26:32,463 --> 00:26:34,188
as this great thing,
but it's really not.

430
00:26:34,213 --> 00:26:36,763
It's just a justification
for your guys' selfishness.

431
00:26:36,796 --> 00:26:39,398
You love each other,
but that's not the same thing

432
00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:41,100
as being good for each other.

433
00:26:41,133 --> 00:26:42,969
- You stop talking.
- I'm sorry, Jimmy.

434
00:26:43,002 --> 00:26:44,758
I'm right.
You know I'm right.

435
00:26:44,783 --> 00:26:46,813
I don't give a shit

436
00:26:46,838 --> 00:26:49,308
what you think
about our relationship.

437
00:26:50,471 --> 00:26:51,711
I never have.

438
00:26:51,736 --> 00:26:53,780
You're pathetic.
You're nothing!

439
00:26:53,813 --> 00:26:55,414
I talked to the venue
and the caterers.

440
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:56,783
- Stop it.
- And they are willing

441
00:26:56,816 --> 00:26:59,185
to give you half your deposit
back if you cancel now.

442
00:26:59,218 --> 00:27:01,587
We can get in my car
and drive to the desert.

443
00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:03,832
We can drive to San Francisco.
We can just drive wherever,

444
00:27:03,856 --> 00:27:05,110
just as long as you...

445
00:27:05,135 --> 00:27:08,049
- We are done.
- Jimmy.

446
00:27:08,626 --> 00:27:11,287
I don't want to see you
ever again.

447
00:27:15,462 --> 00:27:17,616
You'll destroy each other.

448
00:27:20,721 --> 00:27:22,885
There is no way I'd rather go.

449
00:27:49,335 --> 00:27:51,580
_

450
00:28:16,914 --> 00:28:24,919
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