Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
Dr. Shin, he's gonna prescribe me a bunch of meds,
like doctors always do. And they're not gonna work.
- And I'm gonna end up back here. - Hello, Rebecca.
All of the other meds I've been prescribed
- have made me numb or drowsy. - I think,
with the right diagnosis and treatment,
you can get a lot better.
I have been dreaming about going to Raging Waters with you
ever since you told me about it that day at camp.
Let's do something fun, like go to Raging Waters?
- He took her to Raging Waters! - That's her Paris!
I'm gonna be a lawyer.
Well, you have worked so hard. You're almost there, babe.
Paula knows the office, like, inside and out.
Paula's in charge. She can handle it all.
Somebody else always does it.
I am the someone else! You know what, it's okay.
Let me be happy.
I want you to be happy. I do.
Greg makes me feel like I'm okay.
Maybe we could be the best versions of ourselves
if we're together.
? Meet Rebecca ?
? She's the coolest girl in the world, wait ?
? Wrong Rebecca ?
? It's this one over here ?
? She's spunky, she's sweet, a generous friend ?
? Oh, but there she looks kind of mean ?
Hmm. ? Okay, she's snarky ?
? Sarcastic and a... What? ?
? You know, we're not really seeing a common theme ?
? Meet Rebecca ?
? She's too hard to summarize ?
? So let's go back to Other Rebecca. ?
I lived in a wall for eight months.
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.addic7ed.com --
Ah, this is great.
What a perfect day. Hmm.
How many times are we gonna circle this one block?
Well, you go one block east, that's the freeway.
- Mm. - And one block west is the other freeway.
So this is just the perfect block.
I love just doing stuff like this with you.
Yeah.
You know, holding hands is a strange concept.
If you think about it, it actually makes more sense
to hold someone's elbow.
Less sweaty, less germy,
and the elbow gets so little love otherwise, you know?
Uh-huh. That's a funny point, but I like hands.
- Um, hi. - Hi.
So, I have an idea.
A notion. A concept.
Une idée folle.
The last time you said that, you wanted to look into my eyes
for 20 minutes straight.
I know. Wasn't that great?
I got to know your eyes so well.
I could draw your eyes with my eyes closed.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I guess you could do that now.
So...
we've been dating for a few weeks now.
I am new Rebecca, you are new Greg.
We have been taking it slow in a really mature way.
Yeah, I'm not sure we've been sticking to that "taking it slow" thing.
We've spent the last two weeks together,
every single night.
I know. And I'm sorry about last night.
I know you said you wanted to spend the night alone
to get a full eight hours, but then I got afraid of the dark.
So thank you for coming over.
- I'm a hero. - You are.
Truly. Mm.
Okay, so we've been having so much fun together.
I was thinking we could have more fun
at the most romantic place on Earth.
Paris?
Raging Waters!
- Oh... - What do you say, babe?
Oh, I'm sorry. In a mature, taking-it-slow relationship,
is "babe" okay?
- Yeah. Babe is completely okay, babe. - Okay.
All right, I know you don't like water parks or amusement parks
or... parks, but you've never been to one with me.
Uh, yeah. I don't know though.
Groups of people having fun and enjoying themselves,
it's-it's not my thing.
God, don't be grumpy.
You have a bad case of the Mondays.
Oh, whoa. No, never say that.
And if I see you on Wednesday and you call it Hump Day,
it's over.
Okay. Listen,
I really want to go to this water park with you.
Please.
What do you say?
All right. Yeah, I don't want to be a dick about this.
Let's do it.
Yay!
Thanks!
Bad case of the Mondays, huh?
Oh, who the hell knows?
My whole life is Mondays right now.
Between work and kids and studying for the bar,
I'm... wiped.
Yeah. And I want you to take this the wrong way...
You look like crap.
You want to use my office, take a woman nap?
Oh, I napped once.
It was 1983.
It was great.
Is there anything I should know before I head down
to county jail today?
Today? No, no, no.
You're not going. I'm going.
Huh? No. It's my turn.
Rebecca was last week, this week is me, and then you'll go...
No. No, no, no, no.
I have to go and make sure everything's taken care of properly...
No, you don't. I can handle it, all right?
- You have Hanifa's hearing today. - I'm aware.
Paula, the fact that you are volunteering and working
while you're studying for the bar exam is insane.
When I studied for the bar, I just went to my uncle's island
and unplugged.
I suggest you do the same.
- Nathaniel. - Mm-hmm.
I got this.
I'm fine.
I have to do all these things.
I will do all these things.
I just need a little coffee,
and my real problem is that these mugs...
are too damn small.
I have been in Southern California
for such a long time,
and I still haven't been to Raging Waters
because I've been waiting to go with a special someone.
And now he's here.
You have very powerful feelings for Greg.
And... water slides.
Oh, yeah. Whew. But the last time
I saw you, which was weeks ago...
You've been rescheduling frequently...
- Ooh, sorry. - ... you also expressed feelings
for Nathaniel and Josh.
Who? No. Oh, no, no. I'm not thinking about them right now.
No. You also mentioned
you intended on taking things slow with Greg,
which I thought was a wise decision,
since you do need to continue the hard work
on managing your BPD.
Yep. And I'm doing that.
Totally. I'm just... That's what I'm doing.
How's group therapy?
Haven't needed it.
I have it all under control.
I have that darkness under control.
I don't think I need to monitor
the situation that closely anymore.
I mean, it's like you said, I'm a loving person
who deserves love, and now I'm-I'm finally getting some.
And gettin' some.
Ah. I see.
- Uh... - Sex.
- Yeah, I-I got that. - Yeah.
I just don't want you to forget
the work that you need to do for self-care
right now, because romantic love for you can be tricky.
Yeah. Okay.
- So? - So,
I know how you feel about medication,
but I am
once again going to recommend antidepressants
to help stabilize your mood.
No. No. M-Medication?
No. No, I've told you over and over, I'm...
No, I'm not doing that. No.
- But, Rebecca... - When I was in college,
they gave me those pills, and I was a zombie.
New York, pills, zombie.
My mother put pills in my milkshake to make me a zombie.
And then the last time I took pills,
lest we forget, was on a plane.
Those were totally different medications
than what I would recommend.
Dr. Shin and I have conferred on this.
Rebecca,
you have done so much work.
Exactly.
Do you have any idea how many workbooks I've done?
Have you done any lately?
I... I'm sorry,
I came in here just wanting to talk
about going to a water park with my boyfriend.
Okay, I see you're upset.
Yeah. I got to go.
Rebecca, I'm concerned.
You won't go to group,
you haven't been seeing Dr. Shin,
you won't consider medication.
If you discontinue our work,
I'm worried you're gonna backslide.
Let's go on a slide backwards.
Whee!
This is so nice.
It's-it's, like, even nicer than I dreamed.
Yeah, I like it.
And they have my brand of diet soda.
I'm a man of few needs.
Just me and a cup of diet soda
the size of eight cups of diet soda.
Okay, what rides do you want to go on first?
We could go on Dr. Von Dark's Tunnel of Terror.
We could go on the Dark Hole.
I don't go on rides.
What?
We're at a water park,
and you don't go on rides?
Why didn't you say anything?
- Well, I-I tried to, but you-you kind of steamrolled... - Oh, geez.
Well, now I feel like an idiot.
I'm gonna be going on water slides alone?
Well, I will walk you to a ride.
I will hang out while you ride.
I will take an exit photo of you leaving the ride.
I will even let you describe the ride experience
and smile at every adjective.
Okay.
Really okay?
Or fake okay?
Hey, babe?
Yeah, babe?
Just go on one ride with me, hmm,
so I don't seem like the creepy adult riding a ride alone?
You know what, you're right.
I don't want you to be that woman,
and I don't want to be with that woman.
Yes. So... Okay.
- All right. Sure. - Thank you.
So, about this judge, he is tough
on granting parole transfers.
So we have your proof of employment.
We've got the lease to your new apartment in Irvine.
Yep. Got it all right here,
along with a letter from my new boss.
Great. Um, the good news is that I know this judge,
and I can get him to approve the move. I'm sure of it.
So, I'm very excited, Hanifa.
I am feeling great.
Are you? 'Cause you look like hell.
And please take offense at that.
Uh, I'm under the weather,
and I'm-I'm fighting something, so...
Whoa. I don't think the dosage is eight.
I don't think the dosage to anything is eight.
No, I'm gonna be fine.
These are really gonna hit the spot.
Your Honor, we are here
and feeling totally fine.
Now, Ms. Downey is looking to relocate,
and we need to amend her parole.
- Oh! Great picture. - Okay.
Okay, yeah, go to the other side.
I'll go here. Sir,
- can you take a picture of us? - Yeah.
Okay.
No. Put your arms up. Hmm?
Just, like, put your arm... put your...
- Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. - Put your arms...
Okay. Okay.
Ah!
Oh! Oh!
Oh!
That's funny.
- It's... That was funny. - All right.
? ?
It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great.
We're gonna have so much fun. Okay.
Okay. All right, and... we're off.
Okay!
Okay...
Oh!
Whoo!
Whee!
I was so excited
to frame a picture of us on a ride, but I can't frame this.
You look miserable.
Well, you could frame it and draw on a smile so I seem happy.
Yeah. Ha ha, you're making fun of me. Ha ha.
Hey, let me set my cutlery aside
for a moment to say, you seem very annoyed with me.
I just... I had expectations for how this day would go.
You know, I thought,
I'm new Rebecca, and you're new Greg,
- so maybe things would be different. - Okay, hold on.
Yes, I've changed.
I don't drink, I don't punch walls,
I don't hate myself nearly as much, but I'm still Greg.
- I'm still me. - I know.
I just... I stupidly thought
that if we were here, and we were together,
that you would like it.
Ah, you thought I'd like something.
Hmm.
Let me clear that up.
? The smell of the water, kids screaming with joy ?
? I've hated crap like that since I was a boy ?
? While everyone was laughing and having so much fun ?
? I would mutter "this sucks" till the day was done ?
? I detested most stuff ?
? And I still do, you see ?
? I hate everything but you ?
? I hate the feeling of the sun when it hits my skin ?
? I don't like bands that have a guy on mandolin ?
? I hate when people post pictures ?
? With the hashtag "mood" ?
? I hate when people call blueberries a super-food ?
? I hate when someone says, "Ooh, it's magic hour" ?
? Or when people actually stop and smell a flower ?
? I hate white women who call their engagement rings "bling" ?
? Oh, yes, I hate everything ?
? But you ?
More examples!
? I hate guys who read magazines devoted to golf ?
? Hate Frisbee golf ?
? And when people call Frisbee golf "frolf" ?
? I hate when people ask me if I'd ever get a tattoo ?
? Hate combination conditioner and shampoo ?
? I hate doing the wave at a baseball game ?
? I hate couples with a cutesy couple name ?
? I hate when someone says a joke ?
? And someone else says "zing" ?
? Oh, yes, I hate everything ?
? But you ?
? 'Cause when I look into your eyes and I see you smile ?
? When you laugh at yourself and we talk for a while ?
? Just for a moment, I forget ?
? How much I hate it when people say "Gotta jet" ?
Even more examples!
? I hate when people say they're going "off the grid" ?
? Or when someone calls their baseball cap their "lid" ?
? I hate models who just happen to date quarterbacks ?
? I hate grown men who always quote Caddyshack ?
You know, I don't even know how to play this.
? I hate the phrase "Love conquers all" ?
? And I hate that it's true ?
? 'Cause I want to not hate things when I'm with you ?
? You love so many things and you have so much fun ?
? It makes me wish my hating days were done ?
? And there's one thing ?
? I want you to know ?
? I'll always hate guys who name their cars. ?
Did that... not work?
No, I get it.
You hate everything, and you hate this place.
It's making you miserable, so, I'm making you miserable,
and I'm an idiot. This was a stupid idea.
So let's just go. Let's just go.
Well, at least I'm outside in the sun.
What is going on with you today?
Oh. Um, well, Hanifa got her transfer to Irvine,
I talked circles around that judge,
and I just aced the first section of my practice test.
No, I meant, cover up, lady. This ain't a beach.
Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm so hot.
Are you hot?
- No. - I mean, I'm so hot.
Like, I feel like I'm living in a pizza oven over here.
If it makes you feel worse, you also look like crap.
People keep saying stuff like that to me, and it's so fun.
Mm. Look, I don't know.
I just... I feel achy and lethargic, and I am burning up.
I just... I don't know what it is.
Hmm. Let me think.
Middle-aged woman, sweating a lot, feeling like crap.
- Wonder what it could be. - Oh, come on.
It is not menopause.
Okay, I still get a very, very powerful period.
It's like the earth cracking open,
and just hot lava just pouring out.
Sorry. I'm just super hot,
so all my similes are gonna be fire-based.
Babe, I went through it. It's manageable.
You just got to get to your doctor.
Maybe you're right. I will get to it at some point.
It is not urgent. Menopause goes on for years.
I am just... Oh, my God, right now, I am just so hot.
I just want to work topless.
What do you think?
Probably inappropriate,
but I'd like to see what you're rockin'.
Thank you.
- Get to your gyno. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, uh, if you don't mind, I'm just gonna drop you here.
It's been a long day, and I don't know if I'm in the mood
to see the hairs on top of Josh's pubic Mons.
All right. Wow. You're in a really bad mood.
I mean, you just used the word "pubic Mons,"
which I've never heard anyone say out loud.
Okay, look, you're upset, I-I see that,
but did you not hear what I said at the water park?
I mean, I hate myself for saying it,
- but I said "Love conquers all." - Okay, you know what?
I just... I don't think you meant it. I-I can tell.
I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking that I'm an idiot and that I'm annoying.
Huh.
Hey, have you changed anything recently?
Like, different therapy thing?
Like, have you still been doing your stuff?
I'm only asking because, I know from my own experience,
if I stop hitting those meetings,
I start taking things too personally
and-and kind of overreacting.
Oh, so, I'm overreacting, Dr. Man?
That's what you're saying? I'm hysterical
and over... ovary-acting?
- Whoa. - You said
you weren't gonna be a dick today,
but that was clearly not the case, babe.
Uh-huh.
I want to help you, but it just seems to me
like you need to be angry and sad right now,
so I'm gonna just go.
Leaving. Great. That's a classic Greg move. Yeah.
You like doing that.
Oh, hey, I found something that you actually like!
"You seem sad, Rebecca."
"Something's wrong, Rebecca."
"I don't like slides, Rebecca."
"You should go back to group therapy, Rebecca."
"Take some meds, Rebecca."
Whoo, bitches!
? I'm not sad, you're sad ?
? I'm not sad ?
? If you're not in my crew, you're green with envy ?
? 'Cause no one's a nasty little freak like me ?
? Put on a leather jacket that I got on sale ?
? Smoke old weed that's super stale ?
? Take an old pain pill from when my toe was broken ?
? Can't find coke so I snort ibuprofen ?
Oh my god! Oh!
Why did I do that?!
? I'm not sad, you're sad ?
? I'm not sad ?
? Big night out, never felt more alive-er ?
? We get cut off by a student driver ?
? I tell the Uber guy, "Race that bitch" ?
? As I rant about Lilo and Stitch ?
? That movie is cinematic art ?
? Ooh, pull over, it's a taco cart ?
Oh!
Thank you.
? I'm not sad, you're sad ?
? I'm not sad, Lilo's sad. ?
Have you seen Lilo and Stitch?
It's so good.
You haven't? Why?
Wait. What were you doing in 2002 when it came out?
Were you sad about 9/11?
Wait. I was sad about 9/11, too, but Lilo and Stitch...
honestly really helped me through it.
? You're so sad that you're not this cool ?
? Your happy smile makes you look like a fool ?
? You're so sad you don't roll with me ?
? To quote Stitch, "Ohana means family" ?
Stop.
Wait, that's mine.
? I'm not sad, you're sad ?
? I'm not sad, you're sad. ?
- Strip away my conshionsh. - What?
What's up, sexy stuff?
Are you drunk? Uh, well, are you hunk?
Yes, you are.
What is happening? I just...
I wanted to see you.
Hon-Honestly. Honestly, I wanted to see you
because the last conversation we had,
you were so wonderful.
You were so sweet and kind
and mature, and you just want me to be happy,
which is what I want, too.
And, God, Greg. Greg doesn't know what happiness is.
And Dr. Akopian
just wants me to be this narcotized vegetable.
- Okay. - No, no, but forget her, forget her, forget her, forget her.
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Let's talk about you. Let's talk about you.
Let me tell you what I am wondering.
Who is the man of my dreams?
Who is the Mons of my dreams?
Who is the pubic Mons of my dreams?
- What? - C'mons, baby, kiss me.
- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Hmm?
Did you have, like, a billion drinks tonight?
No, I did not have a billion, sir.
I had three.
Which, to a petite Jewess, equals a billion.
Why don't we do this.
Let's just take off our clothes
and see what happens.
Okay, I'm gonna put you in an Uber.
Really?
Come on. Come on.
You know I still think about you.
At night
when I'm alone in my bed.
You really got to go.
Come on.
Okay, wow. I just...
I j... I just thought you wanted me.
I thought this was what you wanted,
so it's, like, weird that you're ushering me out.
- Get some good sleep tonight, okay? - Okay.
I will. I will. She will.
And I don't need you to call me an Uber.
I can get my own Uber.
And I'm gonna get a great Uber,
one with cool lights and terrible music
and water bottles and old mints
and a driver who's a screenwriter.
? ?
Whoa. Hmm.
What are you doing?
Baking banana bread. What does it look like I'm doing?
You smell weird.
That's the primrose oil.
Mrs. H thinks I'm going through some kind of premenopause thing.
And I'm gonna get to the gyno at some point,
but in the meantime, I feel like absolute crapburger.
And I look like one, too, according to everyone around me.
But I read online
that primrose oil helps, so I am basically bathed in it.
Babe, you need to take a break.
You're working too hard and too much.
What? I am fine. I have to do this.
The bar is coming up any second,
and I don't have any uncles with islands.
I mean, my Uncle Terry
has that condo in Tahoe, but it's a timeshare,
and he only gets it for a week and a half in July.
Well, can I help at all?
Yeah, can you put these back in the freezer
and bring me back new chilled ones? Thanks.
- Hey. - Hey.
What you doing?
You seen this show?
These Brits really know how to bake.
Hence the title. Hmm.
I really get it now.
Do we have any burritos?
I want to take a big bite out of the side of a burrito
just like fake Justin Bieber.
I have peanut butter.
Mmm. Okay, second-best. Thanks.
Oh. That's so good.
You're the best, Josh Chan.
Aw.
Hey, do you want a shoulder rub?
? ?
Okay, time for you to go to bed.
- You know, sleep? - Mm.
Think back to 1983.
Remember how much you loved that nap?
It is not time for bed.
And stop staring at me.
Well, it's hard,
because you look like you just crawled out of a grave,
and that is visually intriguing always.
Okay, I just have to get through this section here,
and then I will sleep.
And tomorrow, first thing, we're going to the doctor.
No. No way.
Yes way.
You got to take care of yourself, Paula.
My God, so oily.
Yeah, don't go anywhere near an open flame.
Oh, you're great at this.
You know how to do this because you were a theater girl
and they do massage circles.
George told me that.
Wait, you think of me as a theater girl?
For real?
Yeah, I guess so.
Um, so, like, if I were in A Chorus Line,
do you think I would be Sheila, Cassie or Maggie?
Uh, I don't know,
but I think we should stop.
Why? Uh, because we're roommates
and things, and we should definitely not have...
Or should we?
Take me, Zach.
- Wait. Wait, who's Zach? - He's the director
in A Chorus Line and runs the auditions,
and some productions have him just be a voice,
but others cast an actual actor.
Okay...
Wait. Okay, no.
No. Okay. Okay, you're-you're drunk.
You've been drinking.
- What? - Okay? You must have had, like,
three drinks tonight.
Okay, you know you can't drink like that. You're Jewish.
We shouldn't do this.
Josh, I'm sorry.
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
I'm so... I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?
I don't know.
But...
there's somewhere that I need to go.
There's another ex I got to deal with.
? In my life I've had so many men ?
? But there's one I come back to ?
? Again and again ?
? We've been on and off ?
? For such a long time ?
? And now he's back ?
? And I'm feeling, oh, so fine ?
? He's the darkness ?
? My first love, my true love ?
? The darkness ?
? He knows me better than anyone ?
? He holds me close ?
? And whispers things that I don't want to hear ?
? When I feel the butterflies of dread ?
? I know the darkness is near ?
? We met around the time I started first grade ?
? Every summer after that ?
? We'd play solitaire in the shade ?
? On prom night he was the only boy I kissed ?
? And when he'd visit my dorm ?
? I'd remember how much I'd missed ?
? The darkness ?
? His love for me is pure ?
? The darkness ?
? He's handsome for a metaphor ?
? And his name is ?
? Tyler ?
? Yeah, that feels right ?
? His name is Tyler ?
? He drunk dials me every night ?
? Tyler, Tyler, Tyler ?
? Your kiss feels like a cut ?
? You play drums and wear guyliner ?
? And your pet name for me is "slut" ?
? For so many years I've used the darkness to feel ?
? But now there are things in my life ?
? That are actually real ?
? I got to make a choice, darling ?
? Don't ask me why ?
? So will I have the strength ?
? To tell the darkness ?
? To tell Tyler darkness ?
? Goodbye. ?
Hello?
? ?
Mm.
Rebecca?
Hi, Dr. Shin.
How are you?
I'm doing very well, as you can see.
Mm.
Should we... ?
Yeah, let's go. Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Am I the first person to sleep on that bench?
- Absolutely not. - That tracks.
I... stopped doing any of the work
that I needed to do.
I had a feeling.
We've been missing you at group.
I was just so happy for a second, and...
I legit thought I could get away with
not doing any of the stuff.
- I understand. - It's like I did squats
every day for a year,
and now I just want to eat doughnuts
for the rest of my life and never go back to the gym
but still have a great butt forever, you know?
Yeah. I do know. I work out my butt three times a week.
You think I like squats?
I was just tired.
Honestly, the whole thing is so relentless,
and I threw myself into the high of the new relationship,
and I stopped doing any of the work.
And then we fought a lot,
and then I had, like, a billion drinks...
A billion?
- Three. - Yeah. Great. L'Chaim.
Right.
And then...
I tried to have sex
with both Nathaniel and Josh, who I now live with,
- by the way. - Wow.
You have not been to group in a while.
Yeah. Yeah, no, exactly. It's bad, it's bad.
God, I feel bad. I just feel terrible.
But I know what I have to do... I got to go back into all the therapy.
Yeah, no.
That's what I'm gonna do. I promise.
I promise. I've done it all before.
I'll do it all again.
- Rebecca... - No, don't.
- You know what I'm gonna say. - No. Please?
We need to talk about medication.
Well, here it is, here we are.
The time we've all been waiting for.
Press "play" on the old menopause.
Oh, exciting!
Okay, let's do this.
Are we doing a patch, a pill, sticking something up my butt?
Whatever is fast and easy, 'cause I have stuff to do.
First tell me your symptoms.
I like to start by hearing the symptoms.
I'm a funny kind of gynecologist that way.
Okay, I'm hot. Like, on fire.
I am exhausted.
I am achy all over, but especially my arms.
And-and this morning I even threw up a little bit.
What did the vomit look like?
Um, kinda weird. Kinda white and milky.
Interesting.
Well, I'll tell you what, it is possible that
you're starting to go through menopause,
but I think you're also having a heart attack.
Ha ha.
Nope, not ha ha. Not a "ha ha" thing.
I have a patient who needs to go to cardiac ICU immediately.
Wait, what? ICU?
N-No, I-I can't go there now. I got stuff to do.
Cool, then put "dropping dead" on your to-do list for today.
No, don't take out the pad. What are you doing?
These will not turn you into a vegetable or zombie.
They're just gonna work with your existing brain chemicals.
Now, there is Citalopram, Escitalopram, Paroxetine,
Fluoxetine, Fluvoxamine and Sertraline.
I have one that I think will be good for you.
Oh, can you just stop writing? There's so much writing.
Most people who have what you have
manage their symptoms with a combination
of therapy and medication.
- I... - You have toughed it out
for a long time on your own here.
And you don't have to.
I can't make you do anything, but this is what I recommend.
Okay, I appreciate the recommendation.
Dr. Shin, I acted like such a horrible witch
to Greg yesterday.
What do I do?
- What do I say to him? - You know how to do this.
You know how to take responsibility for stuff.
Okay. No, you're right, I do.
I'm gonna call him and own up
to everything that happened last night,
and all of the stuff I did.
And it's gonna suck, and he's gonna be upset, and...
Oh, God, this might be him.
Let me just get it over with.
Oh, it's not him, it's Scott.
It's Paula's husband.
That's weird. Why would he be calling me?
Hello?
Oh, my God.
Is she gonna be okay?
She had a major blockage,
and walked around with it for 18 hours.
Wow.
Mm, because, uh, my lady is a bad-ass,
and, uh, really, really stupid.
Did you go to Raging Waters recently?
Yeah. How did you know?
You smell like day-old chlorine and chili cheese dogs.
God, I just... I love her so much.
Me, too.
So much.
God, when is the doctor gonna get here?
Hello there.
Is Paula okay?
Yeah, she's doing well.
- My God. Thank God. - She's incredibly brave.
A lot of patients I have, when they go under for heart surgery,
they say, "Doc, please don't let me die."
But with her, she said, "Doc, you have parsley in your teeth,"
and, "How long is this gonna take?"
Oh, God. Thank God.
Oh, actually, I know you. He's very funny.
You're the-the funny doctor.
Dr. Roth.
You were my doctor when I had a UTI.
Oh, no, you're thinking of my brother, Dr. Roth.
Uh, I'm Dr. Roth.
I'm sorry about him. Dr. Roth, I mean.
Dr. Roth.
Dr. Roth, Dr. Roth.
What are you laughing at?
Uh, when can we see her?
Oh, you can go in now, but one visitor at a time, please.
You go first, and then I'll go.
I am glad you're okay.
Yeah, me, too.
Paula, what were you doing?
You walked around being so sick for so many hours,
toughing it out on your own.
You know you don't have to do that.
I just... I didn't have time to be sick.
Okay, no one has time to be sick.
But you have to take better care of yourself.
I know that now.
Promise me that you will do everything
the doctors want you to do.
Um, yeah, but they don't want me to do anything.
They just want me to lie here for a couple days.
And it's-it's not just a onetime thing.
They're saying I gotta take better care of myself for life.
Like salads.
He used the word "salads," Rebecca.
Without the word "potato" in front of it.
I mean, I'm not gonna lie, that sounds awful.
I mean, salads are just piles of sandwich with no bread.
Hey, listen, take the word "salad,"
rearrange some letters, add a couple of other letters,
you get "Satan." Okay?
It's not great... but you have to do
what they want you to do.
Okay, even if it is tough and tiring and exhausting...
like a salad.
Because, also, like a salad,
there are croutons and bacon bits to look forward to.
Ooh, bacon bits.
Yay.
Promise me you'll take better care of yourself.
I will.
Okay.
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