1 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:07,520 I've got a dirty mind and everybody knows it. 2 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:08,640 Fuck! 3 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:12,120 M-M-M-Marnie... 4 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,400 Just scrubbing the shame off the taps, 5 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:19,280 hoovering some regret off the carpet 6 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,320 and cleaning up the general horror of last week. 7 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,120 Hi. 8 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:35,400 - Hi. - I cleaned the flat. 9 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,640 - Yeah, it needed it. - Mm. 10 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,080 - And I got a job. - Oh, well done. 11 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,200 Are you going to go to Amber's party? 12 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:48,080 'Cos we could go together, and seeing as you don't really know 13 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,400 - that many people... - Probably not. 14 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,320 Right, I'll maybe see you in the kitchen later. 15 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,360 Er, I feel like I've hardly seen you all week. 16 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:56,880 Er, I've been working. 17 00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:00,200 I had to let Karen go. There's been a lot of interim admin. 18 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:04,040 Oh. I'm not always nice to people. 19 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:08,320 I said sorry. 20 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:09,640 Can we just... 21 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:11,880 ... go back to how things were? 22 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,120 'Cos I'm uncomfortable enough as it is in my cupboard. 23 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,760 - Er, maybe it isn't working. - No, I like the cupboard, 24 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,000 and I'm not even that uncomfortable. I'm used to it. 25 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:20,920 I sleep in a ball, anyway, and it's comforting. 26 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,280 No, um... 27 00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:23,960 Maybe you should move out. 28 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,200 Why? 29 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:30,200 You said it was just until you got yourself sorted. 30 00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:34,440 It's not because of your disorder. 31 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:40,520 Well, you mentioning it kind of makes it seem like it is, 32 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,960 'cos why would you bring it up if it's not? 33 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,606 It's just like standing over a dead body and going, 34 00:01:44,607 --> 00:01:46,520 - "It wasn't me!" - It's because of you! 35 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:54,400 It's because of you and the way you are with people. 36 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:06,320 How I am with people is because of my OCD. 37 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,120 It makes me a shit person and I'm going to be shit 38 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,520 until I'm better, so, it's just like, when is that? 39 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:14,050 'Cos I've had three sessions now 40 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:16,120 and I thought I was going to feel better than this. 41 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,080 What do you think being "better" means? 42 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:23,520 I'll be a better person when I don't have these thoughts 43 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,880 and wondering what they mean and who I am. 44 00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:28,200 The problem isn't the thoughts, though. 45 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,600 It's the way they make you feel 46 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:32,920 and the shame you have about them. 47 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,500 That's why we need to find a way for you 48 00:02:34,501 --> 00:02:35,976 to have a different relationship with them. 49 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,440 I don't want a relationship with them. I want them to go away. 50 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,960 That's why I'm here. That's what I'm paying for. 51 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,560 Having absurd thoughts is part of being human. 52 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,960 If you got rid of them completely 53 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,240 you'd be brain-dead. 54 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:50,040 I just want you to tell me when they'll stop 55 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,880 and when I'll be better, so I can stop worrying about dying alone 56 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:55,600 'cos I'm such a shit person. 57 00:02:56,920 --> 00:03:00,280 Therapy is not going to help you get rid of your thoughts, 58 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:03,560 and the more you try to do that, the more you'll have, 59 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,160 and the more distressed you'll get. 60 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,640 So I'm always going to have them? 61 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,680 I know you're looking for a definitive answer. 62 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,040 I AM going to get better, though? 63 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,880 I'm sorry. I can't, I can't give you that. 64 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,560 Hey. 65 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,200 I thought you weren't staying. 66 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,920 Yeah, I know. I must've just fallen asleep. 67 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,200 Whoops. 68 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,680 Well, it's a natural human response. 69 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,640 I won't hold it against you. 70 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,360 So, what shall we do? 71 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:31,680 Oh, I don't know about you, but I'm going to go and do a HIIT class. 72 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,800 - I'm not doing a HIIT class. - Well, you should. 73 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,640 Fuck it. Do you want to come to my birthday party? 74 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,400 When is it? 75 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,400 Today, actually. 76 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:49,840 Birthday and party. 77 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,720 What're you doing here, man? 78 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:55,480 Er, it was the only time you could do. 79 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,640 So, do you want to come, or... ? 80 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,120 Why? 81 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:07,120 'Cos people in London are flakes and I don't want it to be just me 82 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,760 and four others staring at some fucking Gs. 83 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,760 Right, who's going to be there? 84 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,160 Loads of people, you know? 85 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:22,240 Er, people from work, people not from work. 86 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,640 People from... your house? 87 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,880 Yeah... 88 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,000 I don't know, it's just... 89 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,800 ... a bit much. 90 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:35,480 I don't WANT you to come. 91 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,840 It's just for numbers. I'm asking everyone. 92 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,960 I'm asking... my colourist. 93 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,520 But we should catch up next week. 94 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,040 Yeah, catch up. 95 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,240 I thought you didn't like coffee. 96 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:57,360 I slept with a barista, now I'm a barista. 97 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,160 - It's like a hipster STD. - You should've stuck with him. 98 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,840 He could've given you some tips, 99 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,440 since you have absolutely no idea what you're doing. 100 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,760 - I've had half a day's training! - As what? 101 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:09,920 As this? 102 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,080 Fuck's sake... 103 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:15,960 Marnie, just let me do it. It's fine. I'll do it. 104 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,760 Can you just clear, please? 105 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,440 And take that lady her muffin? 106 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,050 Don't. I need this, 107 00:06:21,051 --> 00:06:23,560 otherwise I'm just another homeless Scottish person. 108 00:06:23,561 --> 00:06:25,160 Sorry, it's such a stereotype. 109 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,720 You can always crash at mine if you get stuck. 110 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,240 Are you sure? 111 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:32,440 It might be a bit awkward, because last time you asked me over 112 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,160 you showed me your cock. 113 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,680 I take it back then. 114 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,360 Are you coming to Amber's? 115 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,800 Er, I'm meant to be seeing Sarah. 116 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:50,880 You should bring her. 117 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,080 - I'm not sure she'll be up for it. - Really? 118 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:56,440 I thought she'd love a chance to hang out with the kids. 119 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,360 No, she'd rather stay in and have sex with me. 120 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:05,840 So... 121 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:07,480 ... does that mean you're better? 122 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,360 - Getting there, yeah. - That's why you go felting. 123 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,120 Menopausal women do it for you. 124 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:15,720 They must do. 125 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,720 Hope it works this time. 126 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,000 Yeah, it will. 127 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,600 It will. 128 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,840 - I'll leave you to it. - Yeah, have a good one. 129 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,120 - I will. - Yeah, fine. See you around, then. 130 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,130 I might have a mental disorder, 131 00:07:35,131 --> 00:07:36,796 but it's other people who have the problem. 132 00:07:36,820 --> 00:07:39,840 I just want to be a normal 24-year-old woman 133 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,600 currently living in London. 134 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,440 I'm just going to style it out and act like nothing happened, 135 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,560 like a clumsy fall or a fanny fart. 136 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,400 - Happy birthday! - Hey! 137 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,400 Wow, you are really early, aren't you? 138 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,600 Er, well, you said any time after 9, 139 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,160 and it's one minute past, so, after 9. 140 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:05,000 Exactly, and most people interpret that as 10 at the earliest. 141 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:10,800 Also, I just wanted to check that we were OK after the whole... 142 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:14,040 ... Pasta-gate thing. I'm not thinking about your vagina! 143 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,080 Yeah, we're, um... 144 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,280 We're fine. 145 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,640 Did you get anything nice for your birthday? 146 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:29,000 Yeah. Er, cards, money and a LOAD of comments on Facebook 147 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:32,360 - so it has been a gas. - Well... 148 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,360 ... this is from me. 149 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,920 Ah, thanks. 150 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:46,080 - You've really wrapped it there. - Yeah. It's not exciting. 151 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,720 Cool, perfume. 152 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,000 Yeah, so you don't smell like a dead old lady. 153 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,000 No, I won't! 154 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:03,480 And I'll spray. 155 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,840 - It's quite sweet. - It's nothing. 156 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,480 I meant the, the smell. 157 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,320 It's quite a summery scent than a wintry one. 158 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,720 I like it, though. 159 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,240 You could always use it as a room spritz. 160 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,160 Do you ever have a party and then it's time for the party, and... 161 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,560 ... and you can't be fucking arsed with a party? 162 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:39,160 - Yeah. - And then you have all these people in your house. 163 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,200 You're like... 164 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,240 ... "Get out of my fucking house". 165 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,600 And that's if they even turn up at all. 166 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,200 - I, I wasn't looking. - No, I know you weren't. 167 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,200 It's the material. 168 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,000 - What is it? - Polyester. 169 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,320 It looks great. 170 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,600 Joe! 171 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:07,440 He'll be down in a minute to talk to you. 172 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,656 Do you want to grab yourself a drink? I'm just going to... 173 00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:12,040 - ... put some clothes on, you know? - Yeah. 174 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,280 Yeah, OK. 175 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,040 So what if I imagined honking her breast? 176 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,960 She literally does it all the time to people. 177 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,080 At least vodka's my friend. 178 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,000 Hey. 179 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,320 Amber says you have to talk to me. 180 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,040 - OK. - How's your foot? 181 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:46,360 It's good, yeah. How's your... 182 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:50,720 ... disorder? Sorry, I don't know how to... 183 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,360 Still disordering. 184 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,480 Um... That's why... 185 00:10:58,520 --> 00:10:59,840 ... I couldn't... 186 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,360 - ... when you tried... - And if I'd known, I wouldn't have. 187 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,800 Right. Not many people would. 188 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,080 I wouldn't. 189 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,600 No, not 'cos I don't want to know, 'cos I do. 190 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,520 I googled you. 191 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,080 Er, I'm not a sheep breeder from Wick, 192 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:23,840 never worked for easyJet 193 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,160 and I didn't die in 1847. 194 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,640 Different Marnie McCauley. 195 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,240 I googled what you have. 196 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:34,240 'Cos you wanted to look at stock images of distressed-looking women? 197 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:35,640 Yeah. 198 00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:39,840 Could've just gone to a chemist and hung out by the cystitis sachets. 199 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,920 I can't. There's a poster of me behind the till. 200 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,440 No, I wanted to, 201 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,640 I don't know, educate myself and talk to you about it, 202 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:52,000 if you wanted, 'cos maybe you don't want to talk, but if you do... 203 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,440 ... I'm here. 204 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:56,920 Thanks. 205 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:05,400 If I was going to buy a man off Amazon, I'd buy you. 206 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,960 Great picture, good reviews. 207 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,960 Same day delivery. 208 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,720 I don't know what that means! 209 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,960 Ugh, come on, lads, this is a food preparation area. 210 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,440 Er, I washed my hands. 211 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,680 She had something in her eye. 212 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:41,800 Your tongue? 213 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,160 Shit, wait. Do you have a girlfriend? 214 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,440 No! 215 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,160 OK, I never know. 216 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,360 You're on then you're off, 217 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,760 then you're on again, like somebody playing with the lights. 218 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,680 It's off now. It's dark. 219 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,720 Not dark as in sinister, just dark as in it's not happening! 220 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,037 It's like someone took the dimmer switch 221 00:13:21,038 --> 00:13:24,880 - and turned it down really slowly. - Oooh, mood lighting! 222 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,440 All right, you can come on in. Give your coats to Joe. 223 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,480 Oh, shit. 224 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,760 Don't worry about them. You're old news. 225 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,160 The new one of you has a massive necklace 226 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,720 and they're obsessed by it! 227 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,360 It rattles every time she moves. You can hear her coming. 228 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,360 Joe! 229 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,800 - Better go. - Isn't he banging Moira, the one with the chin? 230 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,600 Nah, they're just really good mates. 231 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,760 So, er, kitchen is the bar, so help yourselves. 232 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,170 - Mate, do you want some birthday cake? - Maybe later. 233 00:13:50,171 --> 00:13:51,171 Boring! 234 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,680 Have you got any good red wine? 235 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,590 - Probably, yes. - Good, though. 236 00:13:56,591 --> 00:13:58,591 Do you know what? Let me, let me see what I can do. 237 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,160 - Not saying hello? - Oh, my God, hi! 238 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:06,200 Yes, I... didn't see you. Yes, I'm saying hello. 239 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:07,560 Hello. 240 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,520 Amber told me what was wrong with you. 241 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:14,720 Or the more PC version of that, whatever that is. 242 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:15,960 She shouldn't have done that. 243 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,000 She thought I was owed an explanation. 244 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,120 I'm sorry for bringing my mental health issues to... 245 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,080 So, are you, like, constantly horny? 246 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:27,920 Er, more like constantly confused and frustrated. 247 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,960 You should write about it. 248 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,160 - For Ethel? - Not for Ethel. 249 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,880 I'm not sure you quite fitted in. 250 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:38,560 That wasn't really ME. 251 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,800 So the drinking at work and the general misconduct, 252 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,720 who was that, then? 253 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,840 - Is Rioja all right? - Haven't you got any Malbec? 254 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,040 No. 255 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,920 Oh, my God... 256 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,440 Am I running a wine bar? 257 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,040 - What? - You told her! 258 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,720 And I also told her not to tell you. 259 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,560 I was trying to get you a reference. 260 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,480 - Hi. - Fuck off, you came! 261 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:07,640 Oh! 262 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,040 When did you get here? 263 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,240 Oh, I have to introduce you to my... to the guy... 264 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,160 Ah! 265 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,480 You're going to fucking love him. What are you drinking? 266 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:23,760 This isn't me being alone. It's me not socialising with twats. 267 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,640 I'm glad I'm peak drunk or it'd be highly embarrassing. 268 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,520 Thanks for coming in... um, round. 269 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,960 No, thank you. 270 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,080 And, um... 271 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,600 Thank you for letting me... 272 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,440 Well, you know, everything. 273 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,120 Feeling better about it has helped. 274 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,520 I'm glad. Um, I'm really glad. 275 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,080 It's been... 276 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,680 ... great. It's been really great, for me. 277 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,480 Yeah, me, too. 278 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,720 Why do some blokes not like... 279 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,720 - ... it, you know? - You are generous, diligent... 280 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,520 ... punctual, polite. 281 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,320 - Thank you. - Case in point. 282 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:07,840 Um, bit of constructive feedback, though, if you're, if you're open? 283 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,680 Yeah, yeah, always. 284 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,920 It's a bit samey. Um... 285 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,800 - A bit of variety wouldn't go amiss. - I've only been round twice. 286 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,480 Yeah, mix up the speed, the pressure. 287 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,656 - I mean, it's not an appraisal. - It kind of is, though. 288 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:22,000 - Like an end of the week review? - More like an exit interview. 289 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:24,840 Sorry. 290 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,680 Sarah. 291 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,320 Don't do this. 292 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:36,760 Sarah! 293 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,080 - Sarah, don't do... - Stop it, stop. 294 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,120 Sorry, sorry. 295 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:42,440 Um... 296 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,600 Can I, er... 297 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,960 - Can I ask why? - I'm a doer. 298 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,360 I like... I like doing. 299 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,976 And at the moment I'm not doing much except lying there, and it is, 300 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,320 it's lovely, but it's not enough. 301 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,520 Sometimes, you just want... 302 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,720 ... a cock. 303 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,400 Sometimes you want a cock, Charlie, OK? That's it. 304 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,080 Well, you are in luck, madame. 305 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,160 Because... 306 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,120 Ding. 307 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,296 - Um, it'll take about half an hour to kick in... - Charlie. 308 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,920 So just bear with me. Talk amongst yourselves, and I will be... 309 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,080 Charlie. 310 00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:25,160 Um... Um, oh. 311 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,960 Fiddly little bastard! 312 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,400 Isn't this cheating? 313 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,440 - No, 'cos I'm not with anyone, am I? - You know what I mean, Charlie. 314 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:33,640 And, um... 315 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,360 I don't want to let you down. 316 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,840 You don't want to do this with me. 317 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:45,320 Find yourself a nice young lady and get to know each other, gently, 318 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:48,440 without, you know, rushing. 319 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,040 Well... 320 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,200 I know a nice young lady, so... 321 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,520 Yes! Shereen! 322 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,610 You're here and now I don't have to try 323 00:18:14,611 --> 00:18:16,440 and think of cool things to say to people. 324 00:18:16,441 --> 00:18:18,480 Well, I didn't come here to charm YOU. 325 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:20,576 You don't know anyone, who else are you going to talk to? 326 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:24,280 - I don't know, other people? - Yeah, that's a great place to sit, guys. 327 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,600 Oh, no, she won't... 328 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,720 Hi, I'm Shereen. 329 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,200 - Nice to meet you. - I'm Sef. 330 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,480 Um... 331 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:43,000 Sorry. 332 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,440 That's actually mine. 333 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,760 Sorry, yeah, somebody drank mine, so I thought it was maybe a... 334 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,240 - ... a help yourself kind of thing. - It's not. 335 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:56,920 Are you this selfish in bed, love? 336 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,480 Here, have one of mine. 337 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,560 I bet she steals all the covers. 338 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,120 Yeah, and makes loads of crumbs! 339 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,000 - Who do you know here? - You. Cheers. 340 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,840 - You all right? - Oh, yeah, just... 341 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,080 - Just a bit drunk. - Do you want to sit down? 342 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:24,720 - No, no, I'll just keep my eyes shut. - No, don't, that'll make it worse. 343 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,200 Eyes on a fixed point. 344 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,200 Come on, look at me. 345 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,400 That's right. 346 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:30,920 What would she taste like? 347 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,360 What the fuck, Nancy? 348 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,080 - Nancy? - Maybe you should go find Joe. 349 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,720 I thought this was a bit much. 350 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,600 Yeah, it is a bit, mate. Chill out. 351 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,896 Were you going to say hi to me, or were you just going to spend 352 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,440 the whole night in the kitchen getting handsy with my mates? 353 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,680 Did I come in here to drink booze or people's saliva? 354 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:55,960 Fuck! 355 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,800 It's too much. 356 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:01,560 This entire thing has been 20% sex and 80%... 357 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,960 ... me waiting for you to text, and I'm fed up, Nancy. 358 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,960 - I'm fed up. - I've, um... 359 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:09,880 I've got you a card. 360 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:14,760 You got me a card? 361 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:30,080 It's just entirely misconceived, right? 362 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:33,240 Because fashion isn't about wearing a piece of cloth. 363 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,680 It's like you're wearing a mask, but on your body. 364 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,560 But then it's the opposite of wearing a mask because it completely 365 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,240 exposes who you are, I mean... 366 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,120 - Have you seen Marnie at all? - No, sorry. 367 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:49,000 I might be full of booze, but I'm empty inside. 368 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,280 I want someone to fill me up. 369 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:07,080 Marnie? 370 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,000 Excuse me. 371 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,240 Marn? 372 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,640 - What? - I'm doing a sexy face. 373 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,240 It's like the start of a murder. 374 00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:44,920 I'm not going to murder you! 375 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,160 It's like the opposite of a murder. 376 00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:52,840 - Ow! - What? 377 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,520 - Are you sure, with your helmet? - It's not mine. 378 00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,760 - It's rubbish, then. - Careful, hey! 379 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,200 Fuck me. 380 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,480 - Not tonight. - Yes, tonight. 381 00:22:09,485 --> 00:22:10,485 Come on, I want to. 382 00:22:10,486 --> 00:22:12,090 - I don't think we should. - We should. 383 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,120 You fuck me and I'll fuck you back. 384 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,800 - Are you all right? - I will be... 385 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,880 ... when you fuck me. 386 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,320 Wait, wait... 387 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,600 - What if someone comes in? - I locked the door. 388 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,400 - Stop fucking about. - You started it. 389 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,040 I've not had as much as you. 390 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,240 - What, so you're not drunk enough to have sex with me? - No. 391 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,200 You've had too much. 392 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,040 It's fine. I consent. 393 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,040 I consent! 394 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,680 Marnie, stop it. 395 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,520 - Look, stop it. - Don't be so sexy, then. 396 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,136 - Marnie, stop it, Marn... Look, Marnie... - Come on! You want me to. 397 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:53,760 - Marnie, stop. I want to. - Stop it! 398 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,700 - Stop, Marnie, no. - Chill the fuck out! 399 00:22:55,701 --> 00:22:56,701 Marnie... 400 00:22:56,702 --> 00:22:58,680 - Just let... - Marnie! 401 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:00,640 I'm sorry. 402 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,200 - Ah... - Marnie, you need help. 403 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,360 I know I need help! This WILL help! 404 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:06,840 You'd be helping me. 405 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,120 Not like this. 406 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,560 Not until... 407 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,320 - ... you're better. - No! 408 00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:13,600 If you don't want to help me, don't touch me! 409 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:20,800 I'm going to get you some water. 410 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,120 Excuse me, excuse me. 411 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,920 I can't breathe. 412 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,800 Please, help... 413 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,160 I need to get out. 414 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,320 I can't breathe. 415 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,360 I could do anything and no-one would even notice. 416 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:25,640 I'm anonymous, a nobody, an actual fucking stranger. 417 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,880 I could be anyone. 418 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,280 London doesn't give a shit what that is. 419 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,160 I still don't know what I am. 420 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,510 I'm lost in a city of eight million people, 421 00:24:34,511 --> 00:24:36,100 I can't find myself here 422 00:24:36,150 --> 00:24:39,120 and every time I think I do I always spin away 423 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,160 like a fucked up whirlwind. 424 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,040 I want to blow myself out. 425 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:57,680 Hello? 426 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,320 If you don't come out I'm going to tell everyone you're pooing. 427 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:01,480 Just a minute! 428 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:06,160 - Marnie, just answer your phone. - Where do you think she went? 429 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,400 - I have no idea. - Sorry. 430 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,000 - Emma! - All right. 431 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,360 There's a guy having a poo in your loo, he's... 432 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,210 - It's all yours. - Do you do coke? 433 00:25:15,211 --> 00:25:16,311 No. 434 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,680 She's got a bit... 435 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,240 She's had too much. 436 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:23,496 I want went get her some water. 437 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,800 - Charlie, did you find Marnie? - What happened? 438 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,880 She just lost it. 439 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,880 - What did you do to her, mate? - Nothing, mate. 440 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,280 It's not going to work. She's not picking up. 441 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,720 You all right, kiddo? Where are you? 442 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,880 - What? - How come she picked up for him? 443 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,040 Marnie, where? 444 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:47,656 - What did she say? What did she say? - What did she say? 445 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,600 - It's fine, I've got it. - Charlie! 446 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:03,280 Woo! 447 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:11,400 Be sexier. 448 00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:15,720 You're not... 449 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,400 You're not being sexy enough! 450 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,400 Hey. Hi. I'd like one. 451 00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:30,640 Scuse... 452 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,520 Your hair's long. 453 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,880 - Excuse me. - Who wants a dance, boys? 454 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,840 Sorry. Sorry. 455 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:39,720 He is drunk. 456 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,720 - Hey, I'd like one. - You are so drunk. 457 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:45,200 - One nude private dance, please. - You look lonely. 458 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,800 Uh, nah, he doesn't look into it. 459 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:51,880 I look into because I am. How much is it? 460 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,280 - 30? 40? - Can you leave me alone please? 461 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,696 - No, I said no. I said no. - I'll give you more if you take cards. 462 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:59,000 - I'll go into my overdraft. - Can you not touch my hair? 463 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,400 Whoa, whoa. What you doing, mate? 464 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,000 I thought you were a feminist. 465 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,080 I'm trying to buy a lap dance but she won't give me one. 466 00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:09,600 OK, well, let me give you one at home, all right? 467 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:11,760 And it'll be funny instead of like this. 468 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,840 - Come on. Let's go. - No, I'm not finished! 469 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,440 Why are you doing this? 470 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,040 Because this is the stuff I think about. 471 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:22,680 No matter who I'm with or what I'm doing, this is what's in my head 472 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,600 and I need to know what it means. 473 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,120 No wonder I can't be round people, they can't be round me. 474 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:28,800 I don't want to be around me. 475 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,000 I want to be around you. 476 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:35,240 I'm seeing if this turns me on so I know what I like and what I am. 477 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,120 I need to know it in here. 478 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,760 If I could just get a fucking lap dance! 479 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,440 Did your therapist put you up to this? 480 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:45,200 I told me to do this because I'm the one in my head 481 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,320 and I'm the one who can't be in it a minute longer. 482 00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:50,080 - Come on. - No, I don't know yet. 483 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:52,320 I can't leave until I know how it really feels. 484 00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:54,160 You're not going to find out in here! 485 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:57,640 It's not real. 486 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,920 But I don't feel real. 487 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:09,320 You are real because I'm real, and we're both in here. 488 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,000 - Come here. - Why are you here? I was such a dick to you. 489 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,320 It's all right, it's all right. 490 00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:21,560 I'm here because you're here and that's the deal. 491 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,120 Door to door service. 492 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,600 Just as well, I don't know how I would have got home. 493 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,560 Spent all my money on strippers and booze. 494 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:09,640 - It was on my way, so... - Was it? 495 00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:14,720 It really wasn't. It's a massive inconvenience. 496 00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:15,760 I know it was. 497 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:23,720 I'll get off then and, yeah... 498 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:24,760 Thank you. 499 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,400 Text me when you get home. 500 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,360 Yeah, you too. 501 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,960 I know you're on your doorstep but fuck knows what will happen 502 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,480 between now and then. 503 00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,000 Or I could make you a cup of tea? 504 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,880 Yeah, yeah, it's the least you could do. 505 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,000 You should tell Joe you're all right, he'll be worried. 506 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:00,680 I think he'll be fine. 507 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:03,480 What happened with you two? 508 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:07,920 Not like in detail, just the gist, so I know whether to fight him. 509 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,040 Something happened. 510 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:14,720 Right, yeah, yeah, obviously. 511 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,280 But it won't again. 512 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,880 I don't want to be around someone who is always secretly wishing 513 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,400 I'm better than I am. 514 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,000 What does being better even mean anyway? 515 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:30,960 You managed it... Sarah. 516 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,240 Yeah, that's not happening. 517 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:35,640 It didn't happen. 518 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,680 I'm not better, I'm like you. 519 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:39,600 We're both... 520 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:40,960 Fuck ups together. 521 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,520 I think I'll save it for a special occasion. 522 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,840 Your birthday or something, Mother's Day. 523 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:07,520 You shouldn't worry people like that! 524 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:08,920 I'm sorry. 525 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,080 Thank you for worrying, I don't deserve it. 526 00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:12,240 No, you don't. 527 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,160 - See you, Charlie. - Shereen. 528 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:28,240 Anyway, you two obviously have stuff to sort out so I'll... 529 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:30,160 You sure? What about your tea? 530 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:33,720 I've seen how you make hot drinks, mate. Not happening! 531 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,080 You can buy me one next week if you want. 532 00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,040 Night. Eat a banana! 533 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:49,880 I didn't say come in! 534 00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:53,920 I just want to say I never wanted to live here in the first place. 535 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,280 The only reason I did is because I had nowhere else to go 536 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,760 and it was rent free. 537 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,120 I was a shit person, Shereen. 538 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:06,080 I still am and it's not because of what I've got. 539 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,480 You were right when you said it was me. It is me. 540 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:09,880 It's how I am with people 541 00:32:09,881 --> 00:32:13,160 and I don't want to be like that with people, especially not you. 542 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:16,160 - You made me feel like a small person and I'm not. - I know you're not. 543 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:17,817 Because some of the things I've done for you 544 00:32:17,818 --> 00:32:19,056 have actually been quite big. 545 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:21,556 Like letting you live here, paying for your therapy, 546 00:32:21,557 --> 00:32:25,600 making that huge pavlova that hardly anybody ate. 547 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:26,800 Sorry. 548 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,560 It's in the fridge decaying, like our friendship. 549 00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,000 It might still be edible. 550 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:35,720 Meringue keeps for ages. 551 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:43,040 - I love living with you. - I love living with you! 552 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:45,560 Please can I stay? 553 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:49,480 No. 554 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:58,960 Fine, uh, I'll start looking for places tomorrow. 555 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,080 - Preferably somewhere not in Tottenham. - Wow, OK. 556 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,680 Somewhere really far away like Lewisham or Streatham. 557 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:06,160 OK, Shereen, I get it. 558 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,240 And make sure it's got two bedrooms. 559 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:14,040 You're a fully grown woman. 560 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,120 You can't sleep in a cupboard forever. 561 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,040 I've spent so long trying to find myself in London 562 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,400 I almost didn't see all the other people. 563 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:44,720 To truly find yourself you have to show others who you really are. 564 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,560 Wow, turns out I am a massive wanker. 565 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:53,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -