1
00:00:01,437 --> 00:00:06,154
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -

2
00:00:12,021 --> 00:00:14,826
_

3
00:00:15,967 --> 00:00:18,505
_

4
00:00:25,164 --> 00:00:27,133
D'oh!

5
00:00:33,831 --> 00:00:36,201
Refill!

6
00:00:43,302 --> 00:00:45,284
Kids, is there anything better

7
00:00:45,317 --> 00:00:47,954
than when a restaurant
misprints a coupon?

8
00:00:48,669 --> 00:00:50,660
And with the money we saved,

9
00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:53,900
your mom is getting a Swedish massage.

10
00:00:54,872 --> 00:00:56,795
All the tension's going

11
00:00:56,829 --> 00:00:58,464
out of my body.

12
00:01:00,665 --> 00:01:03,302
Now let's take one deep breath
of this classy place

13
00:01:03,335 --> 00:01:05,849
before we go back to our lousy car.

14
00:01:06,787 --> 00:01:07,906
Excuse me,

15
00:01:07,940 --> 00:01:10,376
that air is the property
of this restaurant.

16
00:01:10,408 --> 00:01:12,521
Fine, I'll give it back.

17
00:01:14,947 --> 00:01:16,516
Good one.

18
00:01:17,755 --> 00:01:19,484
Memory book.

19
00:01:19,518 --> 00:01:21,302
Okay, kids. I admit we hustled

20
00:01:21,327 --> 00:01:22,996
the restaurant there, but that's it.

21
00:01:23,021 --> 00:01:24,589
I don't want you to think
this is the way

22
00:01:24,623 --> 00:01:25,858
you get ahead in life.

23
00:01:25,890 --> 00:01:29,027
Do not take advantage
of someone else's mistakes.

24
00:01:29,060 --> 00:01:31,530
- Your car, sir.
- But that's not...

25
00:01:33,958 --> 00:01:35,201
You see that, kids?

26
00:01:35,233 --> 00:01:36,836
It's the kind of car
they don't make anymore.

27
00:01:36,869 --> 00:01:39,504
Windshield that breaks into
a thousand glass razor blades.

28
00:01:39,537 --> 00:01:41,540
Your lap is the cup holder.

29
00:01:41,574 --> 00:01:43,909
Vinyl seats that can melt your ass.

30
00:01:43,943 --> 00:01:45,878
God, do I want to drive it.

31
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,449
Oh... so useless.

32
00:01:49,482 --> 00:01:52,412
This is the car I've always wanted.

33
00:01:53,074 --> 00:01:54,808
You'll never have a car this nice.

34
00:01:54,841 --> 00:01:56,793
You'll never have
a girlfriend this cute.

35
00:01:56,818 --> 00:01:57,956
That's right!

36
00:01:57,989 --> 00:02:00,860
And you'll never have
exhaust this toxic.

37
00:02:04,926 --> 00:02:07,363
Oh, I need this.
I've always needed this.

38
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,067
Get in, kids, get in.

39
00:02:09,101 --> 00:02:11,199
Dad, what were you just telling us?

40
00:02:11,224 --> 00:02:12,738
This is morally wr...

41
00:02:12,770 --> 00:02:15,240
Whee!

42
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Pull every knob. Press all the buttons.

43
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Find out what things do.

44
00:02:24,857 --> 00:02:26,810
Don't you "chitty chitty bang bang" me!

45
00:02:33,091 --> 00:02:34,593
Ooh, what's this crank for?

46
00:02:34,627 --> 00:02:36,095
Duh, rolling down the window.

47
00:02:36,127 --> 00:02:38,668
Hmm. How do I put on
the air conditioning?

48
00:02:38,693 --> 00:02:40,599
Uh, you're doing it.

49
00:02:40,633 --> 00:02:42,735
Aw, cool. An ashtray.

50
00:02:42,768 --> 00:02:45,003
A full ashtray!

51
00:02:46,302 --> 00:02:48,407
Uh-uh-uh! Bad, bad, bad!

52
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,091
Ah, smooth. Bad, bad.

53
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:58,443
Now, to tie them in a bow.

54
00:03:01,037 --> 00:03:04,791
My husband... he's doing
something incredibly stupid.

55
00:03:06,358 --> 00:03:08,260
Look at this beautiful color.

56
00:03:08,294 --> 00:03:11,531
Seafoam. This is what
cars used to look like.

57
00:03:11,563 --> 00:03:13,765
And what the sea used to look like.

58
00:03:13,799 --> 00:03:16,936
Whee!

59
00:03:16,968 --> 00:03:18,436
Whoa!

60
00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:21,336
Put this on the list of things
we don't tell your mother.

61
00:03:21,361 --> 00:03:23,230
Including the fact there is a list.

62
00:03:23,231 --> 00:03:24,457
_

63
00:03:24,482 --> 00:03:26,145
Aw, it's over.

64
00:03:26,177 --> 00:03:28,114
Now, to teach you kids a life lesson.

65
00:03:28,146 --> 00:03:31,650
Moments of pure joy
always have consequences.

66
00:03:31,683 --> 00:03:33,207
We already knew that.

67
00:03:33,232 --> 00:03:35,051
Yeah. Why do you think we exist?

68
00:03:35,076 --> 00:03:37,022
Quick! Put on your innocent faces.

69
00:03:37,056 --> 00:03:39,158
Innocenter... innocenter.

70
00:03:39,191 --> 00:03:43,295
Uh, yeah, I'm, uh, I'm sorry,
you gave me the wrong car.

71
00:03:43,329 --> 00:03:47,060
The moment I realized,
I brought it back immediately.

72
00:03:47,399 --> 00:03:49,367
You stole my car.

73
00:03:49,392 --> 00:03:53,639
My precious 1957 Cadillac
Eldorado Biarritz convertible

74
00:03:53,671 --> 00:03:57,075
in the original seafoam,
with the illegal brodie knob.

75
00:03:57,109 --> 00:04:00,479
Oh, God. Tell me right now you
did not touch my brodie knob.

76
00:04:00,512 --> 00:04:02,480
Absolutely not.

77
00:04:02,514 --> 00:04:04,516
This is the brodie knob.

78
00:04:04,550 --> 00:04:06,552
Oh. I was all over that thing.

79
00:04:06,585 --> 00:04:08,054
You're in big trouble.

80
00:04:08,086 --> 00:04:10,322
They're gonna charge you
with grand theft auto.

81
00:04:10,355 --> 00:04:13,226
A lousy game but a magnificent law.

82
00:04:13,258 --> 00:04:15,560
Listen, I'm sorry. Really sorry.

83
00:04:15,593 --> 00:04:17,997
I just wanted to give my kids a ride,

84
00:04:18,029 --> 00:04:19,731
show them the house I was born in,

85
00:04:19,764 --> 00:04:21,533
show them the house I'm gonna die in,

86
00:04:21,567 --> 00:04:23,420
then drive through
a cornfield for kicks.

87
00:04:23,445 --> 00:04:24,445
Whoo-hoo!

88
00:04:25,204 --> 00:04:27,863
I gave you the USS Enterprise,

89
00:04:27,888 --> 00:04:30,560
and you returned with the Orville!

90
00:04:31,110 --> 00:04:33,746
I am so sorry. You're absolutely right.

91
00:04:33,778 --> 00:04:35,281
I'll get it fixed by a pro.

92
00:04:35,314 --> 00:04:37,516
I'll get you a license plate
frame saying

93
00:04:37,548 --> 00:04:40,552
"My other car is a..."
insert dumb movie reference.

94
00:04:40,586 --> 00:04:43,566
Tron Legacy Light-Cycle. Well, okay.

95
00:04:43,591 --> 00:04:46,917
I suppose I could allow you to...
oh, God!

96
00:04:46,942 --> 00:04:48,410
No!

97
00:04:48,435 --> 00:04:52,990
My mint condition copy
of Radioactive Man number one!

98
00:04:53,766 --> 00:04:55,901
This was the comic I always wanted most

99
00:04:55,934 --> 00:04:58,404
since I was an athletic, popular child.

100
00:04:58,437 --> 00:04:59,905
Look, you're a nice guy.

101
00:04:59,937 --> 00:05:03,408
When have you ever seen me
be a nice guy?!

102
00:05:03,442 --> 00:05:06,763
I am pressing charges!

103
00:05:09,615 --> 00:05:10,650
Is this yours?

104
00:05:11,271 --> 00:05:12,784
Yes.

105
00:05:13,794 --> 00:05:15,420
Simpson, get on the bike.

106
00:05:15,454 --> 00:05:17,223
Put your arms around me.

107
00:05:17,255 --> 00:05:20,558
Now, head on my shoulder.
Yeah... aw, that's nice.

108
00:05:20,591 --> 00:05:22,461
And don't lean the same way I do

109
00:05:22,493 --> 00:05:23,769
or we're both dead.

110
00:05:23,794 --> 00:05:25,598
Uh, by the way, you're under arrest.

111
00:05:25,630 --> 00:05:28,265
Uh, doesn't the law say
I need a helmet, too?

112
00:05:28,290 --> 00:05:30,059
Another law you're breaking.

113
00:05:33,271 --> 00:05:35,240
Why are you riding a motorcycle?

114
00:05:35,274 --> 00:05:37,076
It's not for fun! I got arrested!

115
00:05:37,108 --> 00:05:39,012
That's worse!

116
00:05:40,346 --> 00:05:42,941
Your Honor, I'm scared.
Okay, I screwed up.

117
00:05:42,966 --> 00:05:46,252
If you'll permit, may I read
a speech in my defense?

118
00:05:46,285 --> 00:05:47,486
Did your daughter write it?

119
00:05:47,519 --> 00:05:49,120
Absolutely not.

120
00:05:49,153 --> 00:05:51,589
Sir, if an opportunity came along

121
00:05:51,622 --> 00:05:53,959
to give your kids
a memory they'll never forget,

122
00:05:53,992 --> 00:05:56,162
wouldn't you hop in the driver's seat?

123
00:05:56,194 --> 00:05:58,764
A golden day with their dad.

124
00:05:58,797 --> 00:06:01,200
What could be more innocent?

125
00:06:01,233 --> 00:06:04,170
All I know is that
as that gas gauge read empty,

126
00:06:04,202 --> 00:06:07,305
our hearts were full. Full of love.

127
00:06:07,339 --> 00:06:12,888
Love of what our country does
BEST: build cars 60 years ago!

128
00:06:14,346 --> 00:06:17,449
I'm a judge. But I'm also a father.

129
00:06:17,483 --> 00:06:19,384
A father whose ex-wife
only lets him see the kids

130
00:06:19,418 --> 00:06:22,187
on summers and Christmas.
I don't need you to rub it in.

131
00:06:22,221 --> 00:06:23,689
I find the defendant guilty.

132
00:06:23,721 --> 00:06:26,291
Your Honor, I'm not the one
on trial here.

133
00:06:26,324 --> 00:06:27,892
Yes, you are.

134
00:06:29,495 --> 00:06:32,965
"Hire a lawyer," I said.
"Waste of money," he said.

135
00:06:32,997 --> 00:06:36,836
This is what I spend my time
in courtroom audiences for.

136
00:06:36,868 --> 00:06:39,107
This is my Starbucks.

137
00:06:41,511 --> 00:06:44,251
Two weeks.
Two weeks to turn this around.

138
00:06:44,276 --> 00:06:46,019
Lisa, can we get the state

139
00:06:46,044 --> 00:06:47,812
to change its sentencing guidelines

140
00:06:47,846 --> 00:06:49,048
in the next two weeks?

141
00:06:49,081 --> 00:06:52,262
Ah, the legislative calendar
is pretty full.

142
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,553
And they take off
the second week for Easter.

143
00:06:54,586 --> 00:06:57,857
Roman Easter! To the Byzantine
world, it's nothing!

144
00:06:57,889 --> 00:07:01,363
I'm afraid we have to prepare
for the possibility

145
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,562
that you might go to prison.

146
00:07:03,594 --> 00:07:07,299
The Arts and
Incarceration Channel presents...

147
00:07:07,323 --> 00:07:10,576
When soft men do hard time.

148
00:07:10,601 --> 00:07:13,572
What advice would
you give to a new inmate?

149
00:07:13,605 --> 00:07:15,408
Everything can be a weapon.

150
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,411
I saw a guy get his eye gouged
with uncooked spaghetti.

151
00:07:18,444 --> 00:07:20,746
You sound like you've seen a lot.

152
00:07:20,778 --> 00:07:24,216
I've seen things and done things
I ain't proud of.

153
00:07:24,249 --> 00:07:25,418
And I'm the chaplain.

154
00:07:25,451 --> 00:07:27,686
I can't take this, Marge.

155
00:07:27,718 --> 00:07:30,630
Maybe I can make peace
with Comic Book Guy.

156
00:07:30,655 --> 00:07:32,900
Do you think so? He's an angry man.

157
00:07:32,925 --> 00:07:36,808
His favorite thing is Star Wars,
and he hates Star Wars.

158
00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:38,229
I'll talk to him.

159
00:07:38,262 --> 00:07:41,599
Careful, Marge.
He's a lazy, overweight slob.

160
00:07:41,632 --> 00:07:43,402
Don't fall in love with him.

161
00:07:47,232 --> 00:07:51,551
Comic Book Guy,
my husband is really sorry.

162
00:07:51,576 --> 00:07:55,160
Okay, he screwed up.
But he doesn't belong in prison.

163
00:07:55,185 --> 00:07:57,882
I beg to differ.
That car is very special to me.

164
00:07:57,915 --> 00:07:59,752
When I was young,
my father took me in it to...

165
00:07:59,785 --> 00:08:02,655
- Buy comic books?
- No, not comic books.

166
00:08:02,687 --> 00:08:04,956
Everything in my life
is not comic books, okay?

167
00:08:04,990 --> 00:08:06,658
We bought baseball cards.

168
00:08:06,692 --> 00:08:09,762
Look, we'll detail your car
and fix your comic book.

169
00:08:09,795 --> 00:08:13,399
This is not about my car.
It is about me getting respect.

170
00:08:13,432 --> 00:08:16,235
I want all the Little Lulus
five dollars can buy.

171
00:08:16,267 --> 00:08:18,570
And make it snappy, Blobba the Hutt.

172
00:08:18,603 --> 00:08:22,074
Jabba is actually quite slim!
For a Hutt.

173
00:08:22,106 --> 00:08:23,608
Just get the Lulus.

174
00:08:23,641 --> 00:08:26,012
Or I'll take my business
to Build-A-Bear.

175
00:08:27,445 --> 00:08:29,957
Here you go. Five dollars'
worth of Little Lulus.

176
00:08:31,850 --> 00:08:34,453
As for you, I am not budging.

177
00:08:34,486 --> 00:08:37,756
Like the door of Superman's
Fortress of Solitude

178
00:08:37,789 --> 00:08:40,593
when the Beatles tried to visit.
Pure folly.

179
00:08:40,626 --> 00:08:42,828
That comic is noncanonical.

180
00:08:42,861 --> 00:08:46,198
The only thing noncanonical
in my store is Snoopy

181
00:08:46,231 --> 00:08:50,536
dressed as Sgt. Rock
for an ill-timed Vietnam war ad.

182
00:08:50,569 --> 00:08:54,139
I see. Well, I'm sorry
to have bothered you.

183
00:08:54,171 --> 00:08:56,274
Yes, don't let the door hit you
on the way out.

184
00:08:56,308 --> 00:08:58,277
No, seriously. It's just been painted.

185
00:08:58,310 --> 00:09:01,347
Oh. That's what being nice gets you.

186
00:09:03,192 --> 00:09:06,727
Mom, Dad, I think I found
the answer on the Internet!

187
00:09:06,752 --> 00:09:09,307
Lisa, nothing good
ever comes from YouTube.

188
00:09:09,332 --> 00:09:11,738
Except ducks eating watermelon.

189
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:20,232
No, no. Sentencing mitigation videos.

190
00:09:20,265 --> 00:09:22,234
People have had
their jail terms reduced,

191
00:09:22,266 --> 00:09:24,713
or even gotten off death row

192
00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:27,744
by producing slick
video appeals to the judge.

193
00:09:27,769 --> 00:09:31,890
Finally, a way for rich people
to bend the system their way.

194
00:09:31,915 --> 00:09:33,885
Mr. Burns got off the hook once

195
00:09:33,910 --> 00:09:37,525
by using a video directed
by Guillermo del Toro.

196
00:09:37,550 --> 00:09:40,886
Hello, I am, uh, film director
Guillermo del Toro.

197
00:09:40,919 --> 00:09:44,917
Uh, when I was a young boy,
I fell in love with monsters.

198
00:09:44,942 --> 00:09:48,393
Frankenstein's monster,
King Kong, Son of Kong,

199
00:09:48,426 --> 00:09:50,863
Nosferatu, Godzilla, Mechagodzilla,

200
00:09:50,896 --> 00:09:52,565
Godzilla's nephew Godzooky,

201
00:09:52,598 --> 00:09:54,370
Mothra the caterpillar, Mothra the moth,

202
00:09:54,395 --> 00:09:56,197
the Blob from The Blob...

203
00:09:56,222 --> 00:09:58,736
and Godzilla's cousin, Sheldon Godzilla.

204
00:09:58,770 --> 00:10:01,340
Lesser known but equally horrifying.

205
00:10:01,372 --> 00:10:04,742
Monsters, yes.
But they are capable of love.

206
00:10:04,776 --> 00:10:07,512
Which brings us to Montgomery Burns.

207
00:10:07,545 --> 00:10:09,080
Oh, hello.

208
00:10:09,113 --> 00:10:10,682
Did someone mention me?

209
00:10:10,715 --> 00:10:13,324
From birth, he was not wanted.

210
00:10:15,828 --> 00:10:17,396
Then came the real monsters:

211
00:10:17,421 --> 00:10:20,459
the bullies that hated him
just because he was wealthy.

212
00:10:20,492 --> 00:10:22,580
And maybe he rubbed it in a little.

213
00:10:27,932 --> 00:10:31,104
But no one knows the real Mr. Burns.

214
00:10:43,713 --> 00:10:45,415
I love Seņor Burns.

215
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:46,555
Who are you?

216
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:48,743
He combines the ancient evil of Cthulhu

217
00:10:48,768 --> 00:10:50,923
with the trim physique of Slender Man.

218
00:10:50,955 --> 00:10:53,825
Seņor Burns demonstrates
that in all so-called monsters

219
00:10:53,858 --> 00:10:56,060
beats a heart. Thank you for listening.

220
00:10:56,093 --> 00:10:57,396
And thank you, Georgia Film Commission,

221
00:10:57,429 --> 00:10:58,964
for the 22% discount.

222
00:10:58,997 --> 00:11:01,400
I'll see you wherever
free people congregate.

223
00:11:01,433 --> 00:11:03,235
Like the Yale Club.

224
00:11:09,107 --> 00:11:12,243
Wow. Maybe I've been
all wrong about evil.

225
00:11:12,276 --> 00:11:15,524
Once again, Mr. del Toro
stripped away the darkness

226
00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:17,415
and found beauty at its core.

227
00:11:17,449 --> 00:11:19,618
Like that fish-snuggling movie.

228
00:11:21,665 --> 00:11:22,632
Excuse me.

229
00:11:24,122 --> 00:11:26,925
Ah... you told me you've
never been to Missouri.

230
00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:29,547
You're right, honey.
Hollywood can solve anything.

231
00:11:29,572 --> 00:11:32,313
Except its own lack
of creativity and diversity.

232
00:11:32,338 --> 00:11:33,813
Now, how do we make this thing?

233
00:11:33,838 --> 00:11:36,043
I think we should use a videographer.

234
00:11:36,068 --> 00:11:37,737
There's one left in town.

235
00:11:39,738 --> 00:11:42,165
I will do anything
for your wedding video.

236
00:11:42,190 --> 00:11:46,211
Color, black and white, or
Polaroid Swinger, cha cha cha.

237
00:11:46,243 --> 00:11:48,714
I gotta warn you,
my camera hand is shaky

238
00:11:48,747 --> 00:11:51,883
because I have
a major vitamin E deficiency.

239
00:11:51,916 --> 00:11:54,887
No problemo. It works fine if you just

240
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,619
nod your head like this...

241
00:12:01,526 --> 00:12:03,695
You know, we could just do it ourselves.

242
00:12:03,728 --> 00:12:07,599
Yeah. Those are the words
that are killing my profession.

243
00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:10,302
Now you say nice things about me.

244
00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:11,670
So what is it you're looking for?

245
00:12:11,703 --> 00:12:14,173
Words or something? Uh, human words?

246
00:12:14,205 --> 00:12:17,842
Okay, uh, Homer Simpson,
uh, well, real family man.

247
00:12:17,876 --> 00:12:20,079
Yeah. Always brings his kids
into the bar.

248
00:12:20,112 --> 00:12:23,180
Not one of them aristocrats
who gets all bent out of shape

249
00:12:23,205 --> 00:12:24,583
when there's a mouse in his beer.

250
00:12:24,616 --> 00:12:27,586
Hey, Moe. I need you to file a
serial number off a wheelchair.

251
00:12:27,611 --> 00:12:28,520
Cut!

252
00:12:28,677 --> 00:12:31,180
Hmm... Homer Simpson?
How can I put this?

253
00:12:31,205 --> 00:12:34,992
Ah, we've never had an employee
get rehired so many times.

254
00:12:35,026 --> 00:12:38,271
Homer Simpson has two children
enrolled in our school.

255
00:12:38,296 --> 00:12:40,367
That's all I'm comfortable saying.

256
00:12:42,502 --> 00:12:44,008
All right, let's see what you got.

257
00:12:44,033 --> 00:12:45,815
I had to edit a little.

258
00:12:46,938 --> 00:12:48,941
Homer Simpson. Family man.

259
00:12:48,973 --> 00:12:50,608
Happy. Aristocrat.

260
00:12:50,641 --> 00:12:52,176
Too. Cool. Comfortable.

261
00:12:52,209 --> 00:12:54,579
Homer is a... grace to the family.

262
00:12:54,613 --> 00:12:56,614
He is an ape... le father.

263
00:12:56,647 --> 00:12:59,183
I warned Marge... marry him.

264
00:12:59,217 --> 00:13:02,554
That's the best you can do? I'm screwed!

265
00:13:02,587 --> 00:13:05,390
Not while I can use Final Cut Pro.

266
00:13:05,422 --> 00:13:06,924
We'll start from scratch.

267
00:13:06,958 --> 00:13:09,895
Using the only two things
people still believe in:

268
00:13:09,928 --> 00:13:11,563
babies and dogs.

269
00:13:12,731 --> 00:13:15,611
Sorry, Snowball, cats are polarizing.

270
00:13:18,393 --> 00:13:19,938
Please...

271
00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:22,752
just give us something we can use.

272
00:13:27,746 --> 00:13:28,714
We're ready.

273
00:13:28,747 --> 00:13:31,400
Oh, now the dog won't cooperate.

274
00:13:31,425 --> 00:13:34,166
There's a trick that always
works with Kevin James.

275
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,745
He's a guy who gets off at 5:00

276
00:13:45,770 --> 00:13:48,874
and comes directly home
to be with his kids.

277
00:13:53,691 --> 00:13:57,869
He's incredibly generous
to his friends and neighbors.

278
00:13:58,252 --> 00:14:02,246
In his spare time,
he loves PTA meetings.

279
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,483
Helping with the Cub Scouts.

280
00:14:04,516 --> 00:14:07,084
Or just going to the movies.

281
00:14:07,117 --> 00:14:09,087
This is Maggie, our baby.

282
00:14:09,119 --> 00:14:11,875
And she understands what's going on.

283
00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:15,438
She's never said a word,
but I get the feeling

284
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:18,163
she wants to say something now.

285
00:14:18,195 --> 00:14:20,998
Nee... Da... dy.

286
00:14:21,031 --> 00:14:23,010
What a man.

287
00:14:24,986 --> 00:14:26,705
And now we pray.

288
00:14:26,738 --> 00:14:28,688
Bless us, O Lord,
for this bountiful feast...

289
00:14:28,713 --> 00:14:30,007
Not that prayer.

290
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,010
I must say, I am impressed.

291
00:14:32,042 --> 00:14:34,979
So, unless the prosecution has
a rebuttal, I'm inclined to...

292
00:14:35,012 --> 00:14:37,281
Not... so... fast.

293
00:14:37,315 --> 00:14:38,883
Do you have a video, too?

294
00:14:38,916 --> 00:14:40,886
No, that would be pretentious.

295
00:14:40,919 --> 00:14:43,928
- Very well, then.
- I have a speech.

296
00:14:44,955 --> 00:14:47,826
Comic book sales is
a very fragile field.

297
00:14:47,858 --> 00:14:50,728
Kids hate to read,
the stores smell like farts

298
00:14:50,762 --> 00:14:53,049
and bubble gum...

299
00:14:54,199 --> 00:14:57,902
Then the things I cherish most...
my father's car,

300
00:14:57,935 --> 00:15:01,006
my precious, precious comic,
and most important,

301
00:15:01,031 --> 00:15:03,534
my dignity... were taken from me.

302
00:15:04,533 --> 00:15:07,145
I'm just your ordinary
small businessman.

303
00:15:07,178 --> 00:15:09,715
Never took anything from anyone.

304
00:15:09,747 --> 00:15:14,319
But I did dare to think
I would be treated with respect.

305
00:15:14,352 --> 00:15:17,723
I have so many fictional heroes,
Your Honor.

306
00:15:17,756 --> 00:15:21,260
For once, please give me a real one.

307
00:15:24,762 --> 00:15:26,998
Best. Courtroom speech. Ever.

308
00:15:27,031 --> 00:15:27,999
Yes!

309
00:15:28,032 --> 00:15:29,929
I will render my sentence tomorrow.

310
00:15:29,954 --> 00:15:31,990
I thank you. Good night.

311
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,071
Boom.

312
00:15:33,103 --> 00:15:34,906
Wait, wait, wait.
Do you want to go to a movie?

313
00:15:34,940 --> 00:15:36,675
I'll go to a movie with you, Judge.

314
00:15:36,708 --> 00:15:38,544
- You won't be available.
- Oh.

315
00:15:43,781 --> 00:15:45,416
Dad, the computer says...

316
00:15:45,449 --> 00:15:47,920
That computer has brought me
nothing but trouble

317
00:15:47,953 --> 00:15:50,389
and sports scores while I'm at church!

318
00:15:50,421 --> 00:15:52,290
A store in Ogdenville just put up

319
00:15:52,324 --> 00:15:55,013
the same Radioactive Man comic
that we destroyed

320
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,728
in perfect condition.

321
00:15:56,761 --> 00:15:58,938
It's my last hope at freedom.

322
00:15:58,963 --> 00:16:01,741
I mean, how much could
an old comic cost?

323
00:16:22,786 --> 00:16:24,455
- Are you done?
- No.

324
00:16:37,374 --> 00:16:41,238
You can't be closed.
It's Tuesday at 4:30!

325
00:16:41,271 --> 00:16:45,562
Do you not see the "closed" sign
written in Wakandan?

326
00:16:46,111 --> 00:16:49,081
And I wasted high school
learning German.

327
00:16:49,222 --> 00:16:51,357
Was fur eine Schande!

328
00:16:51,382 --> 00:16:55,539
Well, German is Earth's closest
language to Klingon.

329
00:16:55,564 --> 00:16:56,624
Come on in.

330
00:17:08,371 --> 00:17:11,663
_

331
00:17:16,007 --> 00:17:17,154
What do you want?

332
00:17:17,179 --> 00:17:18,849
I'm extremely busy.

333
00:17:22,116 --> 00:17:24,083
Mm-hmm.

334
00:17:24,968 --> 00:17:26,450
I want to talk to you.

335
00:17:26,484 --> 00:17:29,721
I see we have reached the
epilogue of our little drama.

336
00:17:29,754 --> 00:17:33,792
No, not the epilogue.
Still plot. Still plot!

337
00:17:33,824 --> 00:17:35,559
Look, I know we've had our differences,

338
00:17:35,593 --> 00:17:37,195
but we can still be friends.

339
00:17:37,228 --> 00:17:39,831
Like when Superman teamed up
with Lex Luthor.

340
00:17:39,863 --> 00:17:43,334
That was an imaginary story
written by Harlan Ellison

341
00:17:43,368 --> 00:17:44,903
because he wanted to get fired.

342
00:17:44,936 --> 00:17:48,839
Well, maybe this will
tickle your ponytail.

343
00:17:50,208 --> 00:17:53,812
The Ogdenville copy! It lives!

344
00:17:53,844 --> 00:17:54,892
Am I forgiven?

345
00:17:54,917 --> 00:17:56,237
I'm afraid not. No.

346
00:17:56,262 --> 00:17:59,151
I don't have a choice.
The grudge is still inside me.

347
00:17:59,183 --> 00:18:02,887
Which is also the name of
a low-budget Roger Corman movie.

348
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,689
Oh! What does it take?

349
00:18:04,721 --> 00:18:06,724
How to explain what I am feeling.

350
00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:09,527
Uh... look around. What do you see?

351
00:18:09,561 --> 00:18:12,064
Uh... a bunch of stuff
that other people threw out?

352
00:18:12,096 --> 00:18:14,065
Like a mirror, you see everything

353
00:18:14,099 --> 00:18:16,745
but understand nothing. Get out.

354
00:18:16,893 --> 00:18:18,190
Let's go.

355
00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:20,159
Oh, my God! Oh!

356
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:24,042
Is that a season one
Welcome Back, Kotter key chain?

357
00:18:25,110 --> 00:18:26,777
It is! The proof...

358
00:18:26,811 --> 00:18:29,448
a John Travolta
who is happy to be there!

359
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,084
How did you get this?

360
00:18:35,085 --> 00:18:36,887
Did I ever tell you about my Uncle Max?

361
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,556
He was the halfback in the family.

362
00:18:38,581 --> 00:18:40,682
If you gave him a sandwich,
you got half back.

363
00:18:44,129 --> 00:18:45,430
This is for you, son.

364
00:18:45,462 --> 00:18:47,196
Don't say I never gave you nothing.

365
00:18:47,221 --> 00:18:49,034
Are you gonna give me anything else?

366
00:18:49,066 --> 00:18:50,268
Nope. One thing.

367
00:18:51,987 --> 00:18:54,931
Homer, when you look
at your precious totem there,

368
00:18:54,956 --> 00:18:56,374
how does it make you feel?

369
00:18:56,407 --> 00:18:58,076
I never thought of it before.

370
00:18:58,109 --> 00:18:59,540
I touch it all the time.

371
00:18:59,565 --> 00:19:01,479
I feel unhappy if I don't have it.

372
00:19:01,513 --> 00:19:03,281
Sometimes I dream about it.

373
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:05,767
I think I love it!

374
00:19:05,792 --> 00:19:08,719
Well put. Now understand this.

375
00:19:08,753 --> 00:19:10,088
Dah!

376
00:19:10,121 --> 00:19:12,990
That is how you made me feel!

377
00:19:14,859 --> 00:19:16,228
Now you see.

378
00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:18,295
And you may consider
the charges dropped.

379
00:19:18,328 --> 00:19:20,764
Let us shake hands, drink rice wine,

380
00:19:20,797 --> 00:19:22,478
and enjoy Swedish Fish candy.

381
00:19:22,503 --> 00:19:24,468
Are you saying I'm off the hook?

382
00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:26,696
Yes. In fact, you may be surprised,

383
00:19:26,721 --> 00:19:28,440
but you are now my best friend.

384
00:19:28,472 --> 00:19:30,431
So I'm not going to prison?

385
00:19:30,456 --> 00:19:32,576
No, you are going to Comic-Con with me.

386
00:19:32,610 --> 00:19:34,112
Oh. Hmm.

387
00:19:34,144 --> 00:19:35,913
Let me see, let me see.

388
00:19:35,947 --> 00:19:37,815
Dad, just say yes.

389
00:19:39,616 --> 00:19:41,454
Is prison still an option?

390
00:19:41,479 --> 00:19:44,032
No. Not until you hold down
Harrison Ford

391
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:45,924
while I clip off his fingernails.

392
00:19:45,957 --> 00:19:46,959
Let's get to it.

393
00:19:55,667 --> 00:19:58,336
- What's this?
- Mitigation video.

394
00:19:58,369 --> 00:20:02,674
When I first met Bart, I was
just a nerdy kid with glasses.

395
00:20:02,707 --> 00:20:05,140
But now this blue-haired butterfly's

396
00:20:05,165 --> 00:20:07,679
ready to emerge from his pupa!

397
00:20:07,711 --> 00:20:10,147
Simpson, you think this is helping you?

398
00:20:12,267 --> 00:20:14,757
Skinner's a jerk. Skinner's a jerk.

399
00:20:14,782 --> 00:20:17,249
Skinner's a jerk. Skinner's a jerk.

400
00:20:17,274 --> 00:20:18,556
Skinner's a jerk.

401
00:20:18,731 --> 00:20:19,999
Skinner's a jerk.

402
00:20:20,024 --> 00:20:21,359
Skinner's a jerk.

403
00:20:21,817 --> 00:20:30,157
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -

