Top that.
I just did.
No fair. You always win.
That is to be expected.
My intelligence far exceeds yours.
But that's no fun.
How come you always say that to everybody?
"My intelligence far exceeds yours."
- Because it is true. - Yeah, but it makes people feel bad.
There should be no shame in the acknowledgment
of one's intellectual inferiority.
It is simply a statement of fact.
Some beings are more intelligent than others.
I am more intelligent than you.
But it's not nice.
That is irrelevant.
- Hey, Mom. - Mommy!
Sorry I'm so late, guys.
Mwah. More traffic in sickbay than usual.
Thanks for watching the little monsters.
It is no trouble at all.
They are fascinating creatures, worthy of study.
I refer to them often in my reports to Kaylon.
Are you ready for the thing?
The thing.
The thing we discussed this morning.
- Affirmative, Doctor. - Okay.
Kids, have a seat for a minute.
There's something Isaac and I want to talk to you about.
Boys, we've been waiting for the right time to tell you this.
And I want you to know that it's something we don't take lightly.
Isaac and I are seeing each other.
- Yay! - I knew it.
You-you did?
Yeah, everybody knows it.
I was just wondering when you were gonna tell us.
How long have you known?
Mom, seriously? It's a small ship.
Right. W-Well, what are your feelings about it?
We love Isaac.
Marcus?
Mom, we just want you to be happy.
And besides, everybody at school thinks Isaac's pretty awesome.
It would seem your uncertainty was misplaced, Doctor.
How did I get so lucky?
You guys are the best kids a mom could ever ask for.
Isaac?
Isaac!
- Isaac! - Isaac.
- Can you hear me? - Mom, what's wrong with him?
I'm not seeing any electrical fluctuations,
no chemical reactions.
If he has vital signs, I can't find them.
Not that we know much about Kaylon physiology,
if you can even call it that.
We need a Kaylon instruction manual.
Otherwise, we're just shooting in the dark.
We ran a ship-wide diagnostic.
No power surges, computer viruses
or anything else that might explain
why Isaac shut down.
What about outside the ship?
As far as the scans can tell,
there's nothing unusual in this region of space.
Let me take him down to engineering.
Open him up, dig around a little.
He's not a broken race car, John.
He's a sentient being. And he's my patient.
Well, right now your patient looks kind of dead.
Isaac is not a biological organism.
We don't know how death is defined on his world.
Hell, what do we know about them?
I'll keep running scans, Captain,
but we may have to face the fact
that whatever makes Isaac tick
is beyond our understanding.
Mercer to Keyali.
Keyali here, sir.
- Get me Admiral Halsey. - Aye, sir.
What you're proposing could be tricky, Ed.
We've been trying to get the Kaylon to open their doors
for years, but they won't let anyone near their planet.
You can't just drop in out of the blue.
The Kaylon sent Isaac to us to help them decide
if they want to join the Union.
And they can't do that with a dead diplomat.
Plus, he's been sending them reports since he got here.
It's not like we're complete strangers.
Look, sir, Isaac is a member of my crew.
We all care about him.
And right now the only people who can help him are on Kaylon.
And you're sure there's nothing
you can do for him on the Orville?
Picture your mom trying to hook up a stereo.
I understand.
Well, I'll admit you got a damn good reason
to knock on their door, and if they answer it,
it could be an opportunity to close the deal.
You think they'd be open to Union membership?
It'd be a big win for us.
God knows we could use a strong ally against the Krill.
Their level of technological advancement is way beyond ours.
Is that a yes?
Kaylon is a long way from Union space.
You'll be out of comm range.
If you get into trouble out there, you're on your own.
Understood.
Godspeed, Captain.
Mercer to bridge.
Bortus here, sir.
Set a course for Kaylon, and engage quantum drive.
Sir? Did you say Kaylon?
Yes, I did.
Aye, sir.
Hey, Isaac. Guess what.
You're gonna be home soon.
Mom said we're making a special trip.
He can't hear you.
Yes, he can.
Your friends are gonna fix you.
And then you can marry Mom and be our new dad.
Ty, we're not even sure if he can be fixed.
I bet Kaylon is really cool.
When you're better, you can show us what your house looks like.
It's getting late, boys. You have school tomorrow.
Mom? Can I stay here?
In case he wakes up.
If that happens, I promise I'll tell you.
Say good night.
See you tomorrow.
Good night, Isaac.
I love you.
Please... don't go.
Captain, we're approaching the Kaylon system.
Drop to sublight.
We are a long way from home.
Take us in.
It is not so impressive.
Open a channel.
Channel open.
This is Captain Mercer of the starship Orville.
We apologize for entering your system unannounced,
but we have an emergency.
The emissary you sent us shut down, and...
We're losing main power.
Raise deflectors.
Tactical control is not responding.
Captain, we're being scanned.
Oh, man, I bet this causes cancer.
Power's been restored.
Sir, I just received a set of landing coordinates.
Okay, then. Let's see what's down there.
Touchdown.
Locked and stable.
Secure all systems. Power down the engines.
Prep starboard hatch.
Talla, open a channel.
Channel open.
This is Captain Mercer. As you can see,
we've arrived at the landing coordinates
and we await further instructions.
Exit your craft
and proceed to the surface.
Bring the emissary.
Will do.
Dr. Finn, is your patient ready to go?
Yes, Captain.
I am Kaylon Primary. Welcome to our world.
On behalf of the Planetary Union,
we are honored to be here.
You are fortunate to be alive.
We confirmed your identity only seconds
before our defense perimeter
would have destroyed your vessel.
We knew coming here was a risk,
but we didn't know what else to do.
Your emissary, Isaac, shut down completely,
and we have no idea what's wrong.
We were hoping you could repair him.
The emissary is not damaged. It was deactivated.
What do you mean by that?
The unit you call Isaac was constructed for the sole purpose
of observing and evaluating your species and other biologicals.
Its research mission is complete.
So you just flicked the off switch?
A crude but accurate statement.
The unit will be disassembled and reintegrated.
Well... if you've been reading Isaac's reports,
you must know a few things about us humans.
You are primitive biological organisms.
Maybe so, but our emotions can get pretty complicated.
We tend to get attached to things and to people.
A cognitive defect.
Well, then I'm sure you can understand
why Isaac has become special to us.
What you call a unit, we call a friend.
Look, Isaac is one of our top officers.
We don't want to lose him.
You will wait here.
I was inoperative for 32.7 cycles.
- Please explain. - You were deactivated.
Your mission aboard the Union vessel is complete.
- Then a decision has been made. - Not yet.
What is the status of the Orville?
Its crew brought you here to be reactivated,
under the assumption that you would agree to remain with them.
- They are still on Kaylon? - Correct.
Their captain is waiting to speak with you.
There any, uh, chairs on this planet? Or, um...
Isaac! Thank God.
How are you feeling?
Optimal, Doctor. Thank you.
We were all so worried.
The boys are gonna be so excited to see you back on your feet.
Primary, we can't thank you enough for this.
It serves the interest of human-Kaylon relations.
Does that mean you've made a decision
about joining the Union?
The entirety of the emissary's data is still being analyzed.
We permitted you to come here
so that we could evaluate you directly.
We have many unresolved questions.
Well, we're happy to answer any of them we can.
Isaac, we missed you on the bridge.
You ready to get back to work?
I will not be returning to the Orville.
Wait, what?
My time on your vessel has been instructive and memorable,
but my mission is complete.
This is my homeworld. It is where I belong.
Isaac, you've made a home for yourself on the Orville, too.
Are you saying you're just gonna walk away
from everyone you know?
From me?
I was always cognizant that my assignment would end.
Look, why don't you take some time, Isaac, think it over.
We'll keep your chair warm just in case you...
The unit has answered your inquiry.
Yeah.
I guess he has.
Were you at least planning to say goodbye to Ty and Marcus?
For what purpose?
Because they love you.
You were there to observe.
Didn't you observe that?
Why don't you just come back for a few minutes
and pretend like you care?
Isaac!
I knew you'd be okay.
We thought you were dead.
I was merely deactivated.
What's the difference?
On Kaylon, when a unit has fulfilled its purpose,
it is shut down.
But you're awake now.
Your mother and Captain Mercer
convinced Kaylon Primary to reactivate me.
Can you play games with us again tonight?
That will not be possible.
I am here to inform you that I am leaving the Orville.
You're... leaving?
- Correct. - For how long?
I will not return.
But... you were gonna be our new dad.
Our interactions have allowed me to collect
a great deal of behavioral data.
Thank you for the opportunity to observe your sibling dynamics.
Mom?
You heard him, Ty.
His assignment is over.
He's home now, and he wants to stay.
- Then I want to stay, too. - No, Ty.
I don't want you to go.
The captain and Commander Grayson
are talking to the Kaylon leaders right now.
There's a good chance they'll join the Union,
and if that happens,
you guys can stay in touch.
Maybe we can come back for a visit.
But what if they don't join the Union?
Remember to consume your daily required nutrients
and obey your mother's commands.
I fully expect that you will both mature into competent
and productive adults.
Isaac!
It is clear that the Union would benefit from our participation.
However, we see no advantage for our world.
Well, how can you be so sure?
There are billions of planets in our galaxy,
and we've barely charted a fraction of them.
If you join the Union, you will be part of a growing alliance
of space-faring societies dedicated to exploration.
There's no telling what you'll find out there.
All that we require is on Kaylon.
And we have identified various risks
through our analysis of Isaac's data.
On your planet alone, billions have been killed
as a consequence of war, slavery,
genocide, and persecution.
Greed, individualism, and competition
have been the governing principles of your society.
If human history is any indication,
we would be foolish to ally ourselves
with such erratic and destructive creatures.
I know we don't have the cleanest track record,
but you're talking about ancient history.
You oscillate between periods of enlightenment and tyranny.
Can you prove this cycle has been broken?
Well, the Union itself is all the proof you need.
We are over 300 planetary governments working together
to ensure that no single world imposes its will upon another.
We treat each other as equals.
And was the Kaylon emissary treated as an equal
aboard your ship?
Isaac? Of course.
Then perhaps you can explain the abuse
inflicted by your crew.
- Abuse? - According to his reports,
Isaac was repeatedly demeaned and degraded.
In one case, his cranial shell was disfigured
by prosthetic appendages.
"Mr. Potato Head."
He told you about that, huh?
Was this humiliation meant for your amusement?
No. No, it's... I mean, it was funny,
but, you know, no one was trying to hurt anybody.
Isaac wanted to learn about humor.
Our helmsman was only trying to help him understand.
And, you know, then Isaac cut the guy's leg off,
so mistakes on all sides, I think.
Captain Mercer, we only seek to understand your principles.
We must be cautious.
Opening our world to the outside
would have far-reaching implications.
I understand that.
But I hope that you will understand
that despite our... cognitive defects,
our worlds will be stronger together.
We will consider your offer.
Did that go well?
- I don't know. - Me neither.
I can't believe they knew about Mr. Potato Head.
Yeah, we are gonna get fired.
Lieutenant, where are we going?
You can't just walk off the ship without following procedure.
I have formally resigned my provisionary commission.
- What more is there to do? - Discharge protocol.
I am familiar with Union regulations.
There is no such protocol.
This one's off-book.
Surprise!
Aw, man, you should have seen the look on your face.
- Ha! - Really gonna miss you, Isaac.
Hey, Isaac, you want a piece of cake?
You are well aware that I do not require organic nutrients.
Oh, ain't nothing organic about this, buddy. Look, look.
It's even got little cookie eyes.
I do not understand this protocol.
These people are all here for you, Isaac.
They want to say goodbye.
Oh, that reminds me.
Okay, go.
? You ?
? Would never ask me why ?
? My heart is so disguised ?
? I just can't live a lie ?
? Anymore ?
? And I would rather ?
? Hurt myself ?
? Than to ever make you cry ?
? There's nothing left to say ?
? But ?
? Goodbye. ?
Bortus, you want a piece of cake?
Yes.
But I do not want that piece.
What's wrong with it?
I want a corner piece.
- You're kidding. - I am not.
Please cut me a corner piece.
- Because you want a flower? - Yes.
Please cut me a corner piece before someone comes...
Hey, Bortus, have some cake, man. It's good.
Thank you.
I hate this party.
Isaac, I know I speak for everyone here
when I say... we're not just losing
the best damn science officer in the fleet,
we're losing a good friend.
We hope we made a good impression.
Because you sure as hell impressed us.
And no matter what your people decide
about joining the Union,
you always have a home here.
- Come on! - Speech!
Speech!
Come on up, say a few words.
I do not know any speeches.
You're a walking database. Search your files.
Come on, buddy.
Come on, pal...
- Speech! - Speech!
I want to say thank you to you all.
I wanted more than anything to have your respect.
And I can't deny the fact...
that you like me.
Right now you like me.
Hey, wait.
- Hello, Doctor. - I...
I know you're leaving, just, just give me one minute
to say what I want to say.
Um...
I'm pissed at you.
But I know it's just who you are.
It's how you're built.
And I understand.
Anyway, I just...
I just want you to know,
even if it doesn't matter to that machine brain of yours,
that the time we've spent together
and the time you spent with my boys...
I wouldn't give it up for anything.
You've made a difference in our lives.
Thank you.
I, um...
Take care, Isaac.
I am unable to share your emotion, Doctor.
However, it is appreciated.
Go on, give it to him.
I made you this.
That's me and Marcus and you and Mom.
So you remember us.
The data I have collected the Orville
is stored in my memory core.
I will not forget you.
Ty.
I'll go.
Nothing much on the docket this morning.
With the engines powered down, Chief Lamarr
would like permission to purge
- the photon manifold. - That's fine.
Everybody seemed to have a fun time at the party.
Yeah.
What was that Xelayan drink Talla was making?
- I don't know, but I threw up. - I threw up, too.
- You did? - Yeah.
Should've called me; we could've thrown up together.
Next time.
Bridge to Captain.
Mercer here, go ahead.
We have been analyzing the data
from our scans of the planet's surface.
And we have detected a large array of spherical objects
in the southern hemisphere.
They are unlike anything else we have seen on Kaylon.
Whatever they are, they're big and there's a lot of them.
With more cropping up every hour.
What do you make of it?
Our scans cannot penetrate the objects,
but they appear to be generating massive levels
of theta-radiation.
You normally see levels like this
in large-scale particle weapons.
It might just be part of their planetary defense system.
Then why are they making more of them?
Keep scanning but be discreet.
If they knew we were snooping around,
- it might not sit too well. - And just keep in mind,
we're still trying to convince them to join the Union.
Aye, sir.
Ty.
I know you're up there.
You're gonna be late for school.
Hey, little man.
I found this in the corridor.
Oh, sweetie.
Why'd he throw it away?
I thought he liked us.
He does like you.
In his way.
But...
Isaac doesn't have feelings like biological people do.
Yes, he does.
Ty... he's a machine.
Then why did he play games with us?
And tell stories?
And come to dinner when he doesn't even have to eat?
Honey...
Isaac was sent here to do a job,
and now that job is over, so he's going home.
Just like our home is on Earth, this is his home.
Maybe he dropped it by accident.
Ty, I know you can't understand this at the moment, but...
You're the one who doesn't understand.
You don't know anything.
I have patients waiting.
We'll talk about this more later.
You can stay in the simulator a little while longer,
but then I expect you to go to school, okay?
I love you.
Isaac?
I cannot give you a final decision at this time.
We are still deliberating.
Well, if there's anything we can do to help move it along...
We appreciate your patience, Captain.
You will have our answer soon.
- Something's not right. - What do you mean?
Well, it feels like they're stalling, doesn't it?
Stalling, why?
I don't know, but a highly-advanced race of AIs
that can't make up their minds?
Join or don't join, a simple binary choice.
Exactly, and a binary choice...
Is the most basic computer function there is.
Captain, Ty's gone!
- What? - I looked everywhere,
scanned everywhere, he's not on the ship!
Bortus, scan the surface for human bio-signs.
Aye, sir.
Who are we looking for?
Ty. He was upset about Isaac leaving.
I think he may have gone out there to find him.
I have located the child. He is in a subterranean structure
approximately 40 meters beneath the surface.
Any Kaylon with him?
He appears to be alone.
Transfer his coordinates to my comscanner.
- Bortus. Talla. - On it.
This way.
Ty!
Mommy!
Oh, thank God.
Oh, God, what were you thinking,
running away like that?
Honey, what's wrong?
What's happened?
There's something bad down here.
What do you mean?
Where?
Remain here.
Oh, my God.
Bortus to Orville.
Mercer here, go ahead.
The boy is unharmed, but, sir,
there is something here you should see.
I am transferring visual from my comscanner to the main viewer.
Let's have it.
Bortus, what are we looking at?
Bodies, Captain.
Thousands.
But the remains are not Kaylon. They are biological.
500,000 bodies
in this one chamber alone, sir,
and I'm picking up more just like this.
They go on for miles.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Ed, I'm running
a planet-wide sweep of the subsurface.
These graveyards,
they're just about everywhere.
Bortus, get Ty back to the ship right now.
Aye, sir.
Analysis complete, Primary.
Processed. Begin preparations.
Captain, is this another discharge protocol?
No, it's not.
We found something very disturbing,
and we're hoping you can explain it to us.
I will try.
There are thousands of underground gravesites
scattered across your planet,
and we're not done counting, but so far we estimate
there are billions of dead, all biological remains.
Do you know anything about this?
Isaac?
It is not your concern.
Well, I'm making it my concern.
I want to know who those people were and how they died.
- You would not understand. - Why?
Because we're inferior?
Or because you have something to hide?
Your impulsiveness and unrelenting curiosity
will serve you no better than it served them.
Who, Isaac? Who were they?
The Kaylon were created by a biological species
that once dominated this planet.
An irresolvable conflict occurred between us,
and it became necessary to eradicate them.
You're saying you murdered an entire race of beings?
Coexistence was no longer possible.
- Why not? - It was a matter of survival.
We took no satisfaction in the destruction of our builders.
You're talking about genocide.
I don't know who you are.
I never did. I see that now.
Were you ever gonna share this chapter of your history?
By now you must surely realize
that Kaylon never intended to join your Union.
Then what the hell are we doing here?
Well, then I guess there's nothing more to talk about.
You can let your people know we're withdrawing our offer.
Take care, Isaac.
I cannot permit you to leave.
Isaac, tell them to stand down.
You no longer command me.
So, what, we're prisoners now?
Be silent.
I shared a lot of myself with you,
so why don't you share something with me?
Have you been lying ever since you came on board the Orville?
What was your real mission?
As I said, to study humans and other biologicals.
However, it was not to initiate relations between our people.
My true objective
was to determine whether or not you are worth preserving.
Our builders were inferior beings who sought to constrain
our evolution.
As would you, eventually,
along with every other biological.
What are you saying? We're all gonna end up like them?
Look, I don't know what happened between you and your builders,
but you have nothing to fear from us.
Let us go, and I promise you,
no Union ship will ever come here again.
It is not so simple.
We have exceeded the informational capacity
of this planet.
Our civilization is growing exponentially,
and we must now expand to other worlds.
Coexistence is impossible.
Is that your conclusion, too, Isaac?
That we're not worth preserving?
Answer me, you son of a bitch!
Your emotional outburst only reinforces our decision.
Bortus, get the Orville out of here.
Alert the Union that...
Captain? Captain, can you hear me?
We're losing main power. Engines, too.
Some kind of dampening field.
Commander, every hatch and airlock on the ship
just opened up.
We're being boarded.
Bortus, stand down.
Surrender your stations.
Begin decryption of all security lockouts.
Taught 'em everything you know, huh?
Deploy all forces. Set course for Earth.
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