1 00:00:03,247 --> 00:00:04,844 Oh, it's-it's you again. 2 00:00:04,846 --> 00:00:07,245 Okay, here's-here's what... Here's what happened. 3 00:00:07,247 --> 00:00:09,245 Carrie put on this brown wig 4 00:00:09,247 --> 00:00:11,100 and was running out into traffic, 5 00:00:11,102 --> 00:00:14,048 and the guy I thought was the bad guy isn't, 6 00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:16,579 and her boyfriend is the suicide bomber. 7 00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:18,828 You believe that shit? 8 00:00:18,830 --> 00:00:20,901 - Wrong show, Frank. - What? 9 00:00:20,903 --> 00:00:23,037 That's Homeland, not Shameless. 10 00:00:23,039 --> 00:00:24,285 Oh. 11 00:00:25,164 --> 00:00:26,454 Fuck. 12 00:00:26,456 --> 00:00:27,610 Wow. 13 00:00:28,622 --> 00:00:30,495 Don't mix Percocet with beer. 14 00:00:32,497 --> 00:00:34,495 - Who's the new barback? - That's Santiago. 15 00:00:34,497 --> 00:00:36,329 He's staying with us until we find his father. 16 00:00:36,331 --> 00:00:38,420 They were gonna go live with his uncle in Indiana. 17 00:00:38,422 --> 00:00:41,213 How are we gonna find some random Guatemalan guy 18 00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:42,317 in Gary, Indiana? 19 00:00:42,319 --> 00:00:43,870 I did a web search: "Where to find 20 00:00:43,872 --> 00:00:46,051 illegal immigrants, Gary, Indiana." 21 00:00:46,053 --> 00:00:47,579 Got a whole list of places. 22 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,265 You find Santiago's uncle? 23 00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:51,214 Oh, yeah. Found him and then lost him. 24 00:00:51,216 --> 00:00:52,703 Fly, my Mexican friend! 25 00:00:52,705 --> 00:00:55,263 - Guatemalan. - Guatemalan friend! 26 00:00:55,265 --> 00:00:56,509 Fly! 27 00:00:56,511 --> 00:00:59,678 Liam, your share of the bills this month: $70. 28 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,579 - I'm nine. - Figure it out. 29 00:01:01,581 --> 00:01:04,370 Carl, your share of the bill this month is 70 bucks. 30 00:01:04,372 --> 00:01:05,831 Maybe you should get a real job 31 00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,643 and stop hanging out with your girlfriend so much. 32 00:01:07,645 --> 00:01:09,139 Ingrid and I are pregnant. 33 00:01:09,141 --> 00:01:10,882 - Triplets? - Sextuplets. 34 00:01:10,884 --> 00:01:12,662 And we're hiding from a North Korean 35 00:01:12,664 --> 00:01:15,116 fertility specialist, so make room. 36 00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,949 - We are moving in. - Oh, that's hysterical. 37 00:01:17,951 --> 00:01:19,863 Do you really think we can afford more than one? 38 00:01:19,865 --> 00:01:21,098 You'll get a job. 39 00:01:22,924 --> 00:01:24,662 "Dreams dead? You're our man. 40 00:01:24,664 --> 00:01:26,703 Be the Hobo Loco Man." Kev, what is this? 41 00:01:26,705 --> 00:01:28,237 They're holding a competition 42 00:01:28,239 --> 00:01:31,703 to choose the Hobo Loco spokesperson. 43 00:01:31,705 --> 00:01:34,245 The winner gets a $50,000 contract 44 00:01:34,247 --> 00:01:37,370 to be in a social media campaign. 45 00:01:37,372 --> 00:01:38,557 This is me. 46 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,120 I'm the Hobo Loco Man. 47 00:01:41,122 --> 00:01:43,120 You smell like a barroom floor. 48 00:01:44,811 --> 00:01:47,776 I don't need anything from you! 49 00:01:47,778 --> 00:01:50,120 - She do this a lot? - Yeah. 50 00:01:50,122 --> 00:01:51,914 Well, lately. 51 00:02:01,042 --> 00:02:05,828 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 52 00:03:25,703 --> 00:03:28,203 ? Silicone sour ? 53 00:03:28,205 --> 00:03:31,670 ? Burning the hours of the night away ? 54 00:03:34,497 --> 00:03:36,828 ? In retro bass ? 55 00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:40,620 ? From the east side moving right away ? 56 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,370 ? You're a satellite ? 57 00:03:46,497 --> 00:03:49,620 ? And I'm on your website ? 58 00:03:52,039 --> 00:03:55,037 ? Miley doesn't miss you ? 59 00:03:55,039 --> 00:03:58,953 ? She got the spread on the college issue ? 60 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,703 ? You're gonna try to save her ? 61 00:04:03,705 --> 00:04:05,396 ? You start to blame her... ? 62 00:04:05,398 --> 00:04:06,746 Oh, shit. 63 00:04:06,748 --> 00:04:07,918 You open? 64 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,537 ? So you gotta be famous ? 65 00:04:10,539 --> 00:04:12,620 Twenty-four hours. 66 00:04:12,622 --> 00:04:14,203 ? It's a golden age ? 67 00:04:14,205 --> 00:04:15,579 You sit wherever you want. 68 00:04:17,247 --> 00:04:20,662 ? It's a golden age ? 69 00:04:22,235 --> 00:04:23,828 ? It's a golden age ? 70 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,870 I'll bring menus to you. 71 00:04:25,872 --> 00:04:27,120 Are you hiring? 72 00:04:27,122 --> 00:04:28,287 ? It's a golden age ? 73 00:04:28,289 --> 00:04:29,412 What? 74 00:04:29,414 --> 00:04:30,647 I'm a hard worker. 75 00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:35,164 How about this booth right over here? 76 00:04:43,872 --> 00:04:45,830 Got any more where this came from? 77 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:51,911 Couple hours after last call, but get you some coffee. 78 00:04:51,913 --> 00:04:54,081 So you're just drinking on the job, then? 79 00:04:55,419 --> 00:04:57,793 Everything okay out here, Fiona? 80 00:05:07,081 --> 00:05:08,789 Let's get out of here. 81 00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:24,206 Shit. 82 00:05:27,872 --> 00:05:29,911 Shit. Shit. 83 00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,537 Shit. 84 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:32,498 You all right? 85 00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:36,039 Yeah. 86 00:05:37,914 --> 00:05:39,289 Good. 87 00:05:57,830 --> 00:05:59,539 Nothing but junk mail. 88 00:06:01,373 --> 00:06:03,412 Rat shit in the attic. 89 00:06:03,414 --> 00:06:05,054 Fires in the dryer vent. 90 00:06:05,056 --> 00:06:06,786 These ads are terrifying. 91 00:06:06,788 --> 00:06:08,914 Carbon monoxide leaks from the furnace? 92 00:06:08,916 --> 00:06:10,620 Fiona always handled this shit. 93 00:06:10,622 --> 00:06:12,579 Should I be worried about these things? 94 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,911 Ah, homeowner stuff. 95 00:06:14,913 --> 00:06:17,081 Sucks to be an adult. 96 00:06:24,747 --> 00:06:27,522 What? I'm eating for seven now. 97 00:06:27,524 --> 00:06:29,149 Well, then all seven of you are gonna need 98 00:06:29,151 --> 00:06:30,995 to cough up cash if you're gonna be living here. 99 00:06:30,997 --> 00:06:32,309 All right. 100 00:06:32,311 --> 00:06:33,620 I'm gonna do some therapy sessions 101 00:06:33,622 --> 00:06:35,162 on the phone this afternoon. 102 00:06:35,164 --> 00:06:37,039 I'll write you a check later. 103 00:06:38,955 --> 00:06:40,537 Hey. Where you guys going? 104 00:06:40,539 --> 00:06:41,865 Softball camp. 105 00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:45,145 I got a call from one of those 20 jobs I applied for. 106 00:06:45,147 --> 00:06:46,717 Nice. Which one? 107 00:06:46,719 --> 00:06:48,503 Some seafood restaurant place. 108 00:06:48,505 --> 00:06:50,684 Carl Gallagher's going legit. 109 00:06:50,686 --> 00:06:51,724 Minimum wage? 110 00:06:51,726 --> 00:06:53,512 Only job someone like me can get. 111 00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:55,287 You know, you really can't put "drug dealer" 112 00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:57,158 or "gunrunner" on your West Point app. 113 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,037 Come on, babe. 114 00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:00,846 Can we call the plumber guy? 115 00:07:00,848 --> 00:07:02,870 Says he can snake our tub for ten bucks. 116 00:07:02,872 --> 00:07:04,245 What's wrong with our tub? 117 00:07:04,247 --> 00:07:05,911 It has two inches of scummy water in it 118 00:07:05,913 --> 00:07:07,951 all the time that doesn't drain. 119 00:07:07,953 --> 00:07:09,537 Good morning, family one. 120 00:07:09,539 --> 00:07:11,220 Family two. 121 00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:12,911 Why do you look like a farm animal? 122 00:07:12,913 --> 00:07:14,329 Smell like one too. 123 00:07:14,331 --> 00:07:17,388 Your father is gonna be the new Hobo Loco 124 00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:19,412 beverage spokesperson. 125 00:07:19,414 --> 00:07:22,247 Now, I haven't won the competition yet, Ingy. 126 00:07:22,704 --> 00:07:24,495 Hobo what-o? 127 00:07:24,497 --> 00:07:27,081 It's a delicious alcoholic beverage. 128 00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:28,412 They're looking for someone 129 00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:29,995 with no purpose in life. 130 00:07:29,997 --> 00:07:32,235 I finally found my calling. 131 00:07:32,237 --> 00:07:35,949 Soon I'll be able to support those I love. 132 00:07:36,703 --> 00:07:38,036 Oh, yeah. 133 00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:42,504 Wish me luck. 134 00:07:42,997 --> 00:07:46,870 Oh, you go get 'em, my Hobo Loco tiger. 135 00:07:46,872 --> 00:07:49,530 Good-bye, little Frank-ettes. 136 00:07:55,539 --> 00:07:57,495 No need to even hold a competition. 137 00:07:57,497 --> 00:07:58,755 If it involves alcohol, 138 00:07:58,757 --> 00:08:00,456 they should just give him the prize. 139 00:08:01,777 --> 00:08:03,810 Think we need to worry about termites? 140 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,786 The hell's going on? 141 00:08:10,788 --> 00:08:12,620 Jesus, it's almost 7:30. 142 00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,370 Place is closed. 143 00:08:14,372 --> 00:08:16,297 W-well, where's Fiona? 144 00:08:16,299 --> 00:08:18,323 We already turned away a bunch of customers. 145 00:08:18,325 --> 00:08:19,620 Well, let's get set up fast 146 00:08:19,622 --> 00:08:21,373 so we don't lose any more business. 147 00:08:22,224 --> 00:08:23,495 Okay, let's get the coffee going. 148 00:08:23,497 --> 00:08:24,519 Fire up the grills. 149 00:08:24,521 --> 00:08:25,870 Make sure the ketchups are married. 150 00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,140 I'll get the blinds. 151 00:08:28,914 --> 00:08:29,911 All right, set the tables. 152 00:08:29,913 --> 00:08:31,346 Let's go, guys. Come on. 153 00:08:36,789 --> 00:08:38,414 Hey, Eliza. 154 00:08:41,705 --> 00:08:43,856 She alive? 155 00:08:43,858 --> 00:08:45,329 Yo, wakey-wakey! 156 00:08:45,331 --> 00:08:46,786 - Get the fuck away from me! - Whoa, whoa! 157 00:08:46,788 --> 00:08:47,911 Take it easy! 158 00:08:47,913 --> 00:08:49,911 Shit. 159 00:08:49,913 --> 00:08:51,506 Sorry. 160 00:08:51,508 --> 00:08:52,960 You okay? 161 00:08:52,962 --> 00:08:55,614 Yeah. Uh, what time is it? 162 00:08:55,616 --> 00:08:57,453 Why was this place locked? 163 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,953 Oh, uh... 164 00:09:01,955 --> 00:09:04,579 I was doing the cash out late, 165 00:09:04,581 --> 00:09:06,454 and I, uh, went into the back office 166 00:09:06,456 --> 00:09:08,537 for a second, and these... 167 00:09:08,539 --> 00:09:10,870 three sketchy guys just came out of nowhere, 168 00:09:10,872 --> 00:09:12,370 and I thought they were gonna rob me 169 00:09:12,372 --> 00:09:14,391 or... I don't know what. 170 00:09:14,393 --> 00:09:16,579 My God. Are you okay? 171 00:09:16,581 --> 00:09:18,037 I-I locked up. I didn't know 172 00:09:18,039 --> 00:09:19,495 if they were still hanging around, 173 00:09:19,497 --> 00:09:20,953 and I didn't want to go home or take the L that late 174 00:09:20,955 --> 00:09:22,637 in case they tried to follow me. 175 00:09:24,217 --> 00:09:27,071 You left the cash out when you went in the back office? 176 00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:29,735 Yeah, it's fine. 177 00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:34,579 All right. 178 00:09:34,581 --> 00:09:37,488 Um, I'm gonna go and take a shower, 179 00:09:37,490 --> 00:09:40,953 and, uh, I will be back for the lunch shift, 180 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,789 and it won't happen again. 181 00:09:48,039 --> 00:09:50,052 See? Shampoo. 182 00:09:50,054 --> 00:09:51,559 Not dish liquid. 183 00:09:51,561 --> 00:09:53,599 That's an interesting concept. 184 00:09:53,601 --> 00:09:54,813 Here, let me show you. 185 00:09:56,331 --> 00:09:57,789 All right. 186 00:10:02,247 --> 00:10:04,087 Oh, man. Yeah, that, uh... 187 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,078 that actually feels really good. 188 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,037 I give great head, huh? 189 00:10:09,039 --> 00:10:10,537 Yeah, it's better than your regular head. 190 00:10:10,539 --> 00:10:11,903 - Hey! - Knock, knock, knock! 191 00:10:11,905 --> 00:10:13,038 - Just me. - Jesus, dude! 192 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:14,418 And I'm not looking at your dick. 193 00:10:14,420 --> 00:10:16,633 - I just left my retainer in here. - Ew! 194 00:10:16,635 --> 00:10:18,662 I lied. I looked at your dick. Bye! 195 00:10:18,664 --> 00:10:20,203 Hey, your stupid boyfriend still owes me $300 196 00:10:20,205 --> 00:10:22,058 for the Comcast bill! 197 00:10:24,695 --> 00:10:26,245 You gotta lose those guys. 198 00:10:26,247 --> 00:10:27,454 Yeah, then I gotta go through the bullshit 199 00:10:27,456 --> 00:10:28,863 of getting a new roommate. 200 00:10:29,648 --> 00:10:31,773 Okay, turn around. Your turn. 201 00:10:33,087 --> 00:10:34,745 - All right. - Are you off today? 202 00:10:34,747 --> 00:10:36,203 Yeah. 203 00:10:36,205 --> 00:10:37,662 Me too. 204 00:10:37,664 --> 00:10:38,786 Oh. 205 00:10:38,788 --> 00:10:40,620 We should do something. 206 00:10:40,622 --> 00:10:42,662 Why? You're not hanging around with Boone? 207 00:10:42,664 --> 00:10:44,953 No, he's on his way back to Yemen. 208 00:10:44,955 --> 00:10:46,786 Isn't that where all those land mines are? 209 00:10:46,788 --> 00:10:48,495 Fingers crossed. 210 00:10:48,497 --> 00:10:50,828 So let's hang out. Never done that before. 211 00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:52,780 We could see if we even like each other. 212 00:10:53,604 --> 00:10:55,428 I got boring shit to do all day. 213 00:10:55,430 --> 00:10:57,828 Me too. We can do it together. 214 00:10:57,830 --> 00:11:00,465 Aah! Turn around. 215 00:11:00,467 --> 00:11:02,620 - Take a look. - Oh, nice. 216 00:11:02,622 --> 00:11:04,162 - It's good. - Yeah, I like it. 217 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,370 Right, you see, I give good head too. 218 00:11:05,372 --> 00:11:08,456 What is this? 219 00:11:09,331 --> 00:11:12,786 Diablas! Las diablas! 220 00:11:12,788 --> 00:11:14,287 Santiago. 221 00:11:14,289 --> 00:11:16,287 He probably had a nightmare again. 222 00:11:17,872 --> 00:11:19,037 - Ow! - Die! Die! 223 00:11:19,039 --> 00:11:21,677 No, please. Stop, please. 224 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,911 Girls! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 225 00:11:23,913 --> 00:11:26,404 - Stop. What are you doing? - Hey! You're hurting him! 226 00:11:26,406 --> 00:11:28,878 - You duct taped him? - And handcuffs? 227 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,662 Santiago, I am so sorry. 228 00:11:30,664 --> 00:11:32,370 You have to forgive them. 229 00:11:32,372 --> 00:11:34,245 The-the girls are a little bit wild. 230 00:11:34,247 --> 00:11:36,911 Preschool was supposed to be taming them. 231 00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:39,258 Come on, baby. Let's go get you some juice. 232 00:11:40,310 --> 00:11:43,100 Girls, what has gotten into you? 233 00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:45,715 - We don't hurt people. - We don't? 234 00:11:45,717 --> 00:11:48,034 No, of course not. We have to be nice, 235 00:11:48,036 --> 00:11:49,828 and Santiago's part of our family. 236 00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:52,120 - No. - Yes, honey, 237 00:11:52,122 --> 00:11:54,308 and his sister's gonna be here soon too. 238 00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:55,928 No, they go home. 239 00:11:55,930 --> 00:11:58,163 They don't have a home. 240 00:11:58,165 --> 00:12:00,579 Bad people wanted to turn them into sex slaves 241 00:12:00,581 --> 00:12:01,745 and gang members. 242 00:12:01,747 --> 00:12:03,421 Kev, please stop talking. 243 00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,745 I'm trying to teach them. I'm... 244 00:12:04,747 --> 00:12:06,329 They're four years old. Come on, girls. 245 00:12:06,331 --> 00:12:07,522 It's time to get dressed for school. 246 00:12:07,524 --> 00:12:08,914 Take Santiago to the bar. 247 00:12:11,581 --> 00:12:12,870 Santiago. 248 00:12:12,872 --> 00:12:14,530 What do you say? 249 00:12:14,532 --> 00:12:16,745 Me and you having some quality dad time together? 250 00:12:16,747 --> 00:12:18,120 Huh? Let's do it! 251 00:12:18,122 --> 00:12:19,749 No, no. 252 00:12:19,751 --> 00:12:21,460 God, I'm so sorry. 253 00:12:23,461 --> 00:12:25,699 Yeah, just hold up the shirt. 254 00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:27,953 Nice! 255 00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:31,412 Hey, Hobo Loco is trending in the top 50 right now. 256 00:12:31,414 --> 00:12:33,133 Thought we'd have, like, 30 homeless here 257 00:12:33,135 --> 00:12:34,598 and that'd be it. 258 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,786 Hey, everyone! 259 00:12:36,788 --> 00:12:38,995 Let me all hear you say, 260 00:12:38,997 --> 00:12:41,245 "I love Hobo Loco!" 261 00:12:41,247 --> 00:12:44,245 I love Hobo Loco! 262 00:12:50,039 --> 00:12:51,745 Are you fucking kidding me? 263 00:12:51,747 --> 00:12:53,370 Who are all these people? 264 00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:55,454 Jesus. 265 00:12:55,456 --> 00:12:59,786 Hey, is everybody here for the Hobo Loco competition? 266 00:12:59,788 --> 00:13:02,247 Apparently so, but I'm gonna win this thing. 267 00:13:03,539 --> 00:13:06,370 Gonna be hard, since I'm a shoo-in. 268 00:13:06,372 --> 00:13:07,994 That right? 269 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:11,037 I've never held the same job for more than 37 days. 270 00:13:11,039 --> 00:13:14,107 I spent my life savings on a Blockbuster franchise 271 00:13:14,109 --> 00:13:15,682 in 2013. 272 00:13:16,539 --> 00:13:20,123 I buried a bipolar wife, a cancer-riddled girlfriend, 273 00:13:20,125 --> 00:13:21,729 and a mother who never loved me. 274 00:13:21,731 --> 00:13:23,620 Two-thirds of my penis got blown off 275 00:13:23,622 --> 00:13:25,620 in the First Gulf War. 276 00:13:25,622 --> 00:13:28,162 I won the lottery in 2006 277 00:13:28,164 --> 00:13:30,037 and accidentally used the winning ticket 278 00:13:30,039 --> 00:13:31,983 as a rolling paper. 279 00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:34,206 I grew up in Flint, Michigan. 280 00:13:38,855 --> 00:13:39,896 Frank Gallagher. 281 00:13:39,898 --> 00:13:41,127 Mikey O'Shea. 282 00:13:42,581 --> 00:13:44,612 Irish, huh? 283 00:13:44,614 --> 00:13:46,926 Well, the dead junkie whose wallet I acquired was. 284 00:13:47,955 --> 00:13:49,456 Very impressive. 285 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,078 Why do these fucking posers 286 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,412 think they can steal our thunder? 287 00:13:54,414 --> 00:13:56,078 Because their parents told them 288 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,995 they could be anything they wanted to be. 289 00:14:00,247 --> 00:14:01,864 Let's teach 'em a lesson. 290 00:14:01,866 --> 00:14:02,870 Let's kick ass. 291 00:14:02,872 --> 00:14:04,120 Excuse us. Excuse us. 292 00:14:04,122 --> 00:14:05,120 - Excuse me! - Excuse us. 293 00:14:05,122 --> 00:14:06,495 - VIP! - Coming through. 294 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:07,828 Coming through. This way. One second. 295 00:14:07,830 --> 00:14:08,911 Look out. Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 296 00:14:08,913 --> 00:14:10,703 Let the real hobos through! 297 00:14:10,705 --> 00:14:12,495 Don't be rude. Don't be rude. 298 00:14:12,497 --> 00:14:13,662 - Hey, hey, hey, hey! - Come on, excuse us. 299 00:14:13,664 --> 00:14:15,745 - Hey! Hey, hey, hey. - Good God. 300 00:14:15,747 --> 00:14:17,573 We're here for the competition. 301 00:14:17,575 --> 00:14:19,870 - Where do we sign? - They cut the line! 302 00:14:19,872 --> 00:14:21,662 And that's exactly 303 00:14:21,664 --> 00:14:23,287 the kind of spunk we're looking for. 304 00:14:23,289 --> 00:14:24,620 Do you hear that, Phi Piggie Piggie? 305 00:14:24,622 --> 00:14:26,120 That's what they're looking for. 306 00:14:26,122 --> 00:14:28,675 Get your spunk-less ass out of here! 307 00:14:28,677 --> 00:14:30,497 - You should learn. - Hey, fellas. 308 00:14:30,499 --> 00:14:31,995 I just... I just need you to sign in right here. 309 00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:33,145 Oh, right away. 310 00:14:33,147 --> 00:14:34,245 - Done. - Again, yeah. 311 00:14:34,247 --> 00:14:35,662 Great. Mm-hmm. 312 00:14:35,664 --> 00:14:36,995 Okay, next, I'm gonna need to test 313 00:14:36,997 --> 00:14:39,120 your baseline blood alcohol content. 314 00:14:39,122 --> 00:14:41,412 Right this way. 315 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,373 Here we are. 316 00:14:51,164 --> 00:14:52,370 Point two-three. 317 00:14:52,372 --> 00:14:53,639 Nice. 318 00:14:54,705 --> 00:14:56,589 Point two-seven. 319 00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:58,078 Whoa. 320 00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,454 All in a day's work. 321 00:14:59,456 --> 00:15:01,481 Whoo. Great job. 322 00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:02,911 Okay, now, over here, 323 00:15:02,913 --> 00:15:04,162 you're gonna need to drink two ounces 324 00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:07,037 of Hobo Loco in less than 15 seconds, 325 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:08,703 and please, no throwing up on me. 326 00:15:08,705 --> 00:15:11,120 Please use the trash can over here. 327 00:15:11,122 --> 00:15:15,285 Okay, and... 328 00:15:16,289 --> 00:15:18,325 OMG. That was amazing. 329 00:15:18,327 --> 00:15:19,370 It's like drinking water. 330 00:15:19,372 --> 00:15:21,162 More like watered-down water. 331 00:15:21,164 --> 00:15:23,590 Well, have a Hobo Loco hat. 332 00:15:23,592 --> 00:15:25,037 Agency will be announcing the contestants 333 00:15:25,039 --> 00:15:26,037 in just a bit. 334 00:15:26,039 --> 00:15:27,162 All right, next. 335 00:15:28,913 --> 00:15:30,911 Good luck, J-holes. 336 00:15:30,913 --> 00:15:32,245 You hear that, douchebags? 337 00:15:34,747 --> 00:15:36,620 This is the dining area. 338 00:15:36,622 --> 00:15:38,370 I was really impressed with your résumé. 339 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,786 - Really? - Kitchen. 340 00:15:40,788 --> 00:15:42,432 Yeah. 341 00:15:42,434 --> 00:15:44,329 Military man, hmm? 342 00:15:44,331 --> 00:15:45,911 Mmm-mmm. 343 00:15:45,913 --> 00:15:47,245 Um, okay. 344 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,821 And this is the employee lounge. 345 00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:52,662 Your uniform: right in here. 346 00:15:52,664 --> 00:15:54,828 Let me know if you need any help putting it on. 347 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:55,911 Yeah. 348 00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:56,995 Hey, so what's the job? 349 00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:58,953 Busboy, uh, dishwasher? 350 00:15:58,955 --> 00:16:00,537 Street corner sign spinner. 351 00:16:48,556 --> 00:16:50,078 Hey, Franny. 352 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:51,662 What is that? 353 00:16:51,664 --> 00:16:54,911 Careful. Here. 354 00:16:54,913 --> 00:16:57,203 Hey. 355 00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:01,745 What's going on in here? 356 00:17:01,747 --> 00:17:04,668 Morning sickness. 357 00:17:04,670 --> 00:17:06,056 Snaking the tub. 358 00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:07,600 I got it. 359 00:17:08,705 --> 00:17:10,370 That's disgusting! 360 00:17:11,766 --> 00:17:13,370 - Damn. - Oh. 361 00:17:13,372 --> 00:17:15,153 I should add "plumber" to my welding résumé. 362 00:17:15,155 --> 00:17:16,995 All right, may I take a shower, please? 363 00:17:16,997 --> 00:17:19,162 Yeah. 364 00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:22,242 Hey, do you ever do those things in the saver special? 365 00:17:22,244 --> 00:17:24,579 Check for carbon monoxide leaks or clean the dryer vent? 366 00:17:24,581 --> 00:17:26,995 No. Too busy, you know, 367 00:17:26,997 --> 00:17:29,863 raising five kids and Frank. 368 00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:31,454 Well, make it quick in there. 369 00:17:31,456 --> 00:17:32,703 Make sure you clean up your hair in the drain after. 370 00:17:32,705 --> 00:17:34,037 Yeah, all right. 371 00:17:37,372 --> 00:17:38,825 Debs. 372 00:17:39,539 --> 00:17:41,212 Sorry I snapped at you. 373 00:17:41,832 --> 00:17:43,303 You're doing a good job. 374 00:17:43,305 --> 00:17:44,745 Thanks. 375 00:17:44,747 --> 00:17:45,911 Also, I'm working the lunch shift later, 376 00:17:45,913 --> 00:17:47,710 so I'll have money for you today. 377 00:17:47,712 --> 00:17:48,828 Good. 378 00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:57,120 Really helps my morning sickness. 379 00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:12,078 So should we, like, hold hands or something? 380 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,641 I don't know. Your hands get all sweaty? 381 00:18:14,643 --> 00:18:17,329 They will now that you asked me like that. 382 00:18:17,331 --> 00:18:18,953 Are you a top or bottom? 383 00:18:18,955 --> 00:18:20,412 - Bottom. - Ah, see, me too. 384 00:18:20,414 --> 00:18:21,911 This will never work. 385 00:18:21,913 --> 00:18:23,581 It's all right. We're here anyway. 386 00:18:25,101 --> 00:18:26,370 A nursing home? 387 00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:28,454 Yeah. I volunteer here once a month. 388 00:18:28,456 --> 00:18:30,162 Come on, you can help me. 389 00:18:30,164 --> 00:18:31,995 Shit. 390 00:18:31,997 --> 00:18:34,164 Hey, are we gonna be cleaning bedpans or... 391 00:18:35,623 --> 00:18:37,329 What up, bitches? 392 00:18:37,331 --> 00:18:39,870 Tami, Audrey got denture cream in my hair. 393 00:18:39,872 --> 00:18:41,287 Aww, let me see that. 394 00:18:41,289 --> 00:18:42,745 I did not do that. 395 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,786 Tomorrow you'll say you did do it. 396 00:18:44,788 --> 00:18:46,786 Make up your Alzheimer's-y mind. 397 00:18:46,788 --> 00:18:49,203 All right, ladies. Who's at the bowls first? 398 00:18:49,205 --> 00:18:51,969 I've got an assistant today, so we can do two at a time. 399 00:18:51,971 --> 00:18:54,082 - Me. - Me too. 400 00:18:54,084 --> 00:18:55,663 - What are we doing? - Washing their hair. 401 00:18:55,665 --> 00:18:56,926 We're washing their hair? 402 00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:58,124 Yeah. Watch out for that one. 403 00:18:58,126 --> 00:18:59,495 She's handsy, likes to grab a dick. 404 00:18:59,497 --> 00:19:01,742 Hey. You all set? 405 00:19:02,205 --> 00:19:03,370 Oh. 406 00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:17,329 Hey. 407 00:19:17,331 --> 00:19:18,579 Hey. What's up, man? 408 00:19:18,581 --> 00:19:19,875 What are you doing? 409 00:19:19,877 --> 00:19:21,703 Giving Santiago more of an American look 410 00:19:21,705 --> 00:19:23,276 before we go to The Alibi. 411 00:19:23,317 --> 00:19:24,863 _ 412 00:19:24,905 --> 00:19:26,204 _ 413 00:19:32,314 --> 00:19:34,157 _ 414 00:19:34,243 --> 00:19:35,497 _ 415 00:19:35,621 --> 00:19:37,037 _ 416 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:39,059 _ 417 00:19:39,170 --> 00:19:40,287 _ 418 00:19:42,205 --> 00:19:43,870 You're getting his sister too? 419 00:19:43,872 --> 00:19:45,579 Yeah. Foster people are gonna be 420 00:19:45,581 --> 00:19:47,495 dropping her off a little bit later. 421 00:19:47,497 --> 00:19:49,454 There you go. 422 00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:53,053 And the final touch. 423 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,828 Huh? 424 00:19:55,830 --> 00:19:58,370 Oh. Okay. 425 00:19:58,372 --> 00:20:00,203 How's he look? 426 00:20:00,205 --> 00:20:01,767 Like a cheesy American. 427 00:20:01,769 --> 00:20:03,245 Nice. 428 00:20:08,997 --> 00:20:11,078 So you got a lady friend back home? 429 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,911 Mm, sure do. 430 00:20:12,913 --> 00:20:14,953 Jasmine Dawn. 431 00:20:14,955 --> 00:20:17,247 Except she kicked me out three years ago. 432 00:20:19,056 --> 00:20:21,055 Strapping young man like you? 433 00:20:21,057 --> 00:20:22,495 Yeah, well, I had too many blackouts 434 00:20:22,497 --> 00:20:24,703 for her to deal with. 435 00:20:24,705 --> 00:20:26,870 But I become the Hobo Loco Man, though, 436 00:20:26,872 --> 00:20:28,995 she gotta take me back, right? 437 00:20:28,997 --> 00:20:31,287 As long as she'll settle for runner-up. 438 00:20:31,289 --> 00:20:32,706 Won't have to. 439 00:20:32,708 --> 00:20:34,607 You got loser written all over you. 440 00:20:35,281 --> 00:20:37,662 All right, good afternoon! 441 00:20:37,664 --> 00:20:39,662 Yes, welcome. 442 00:20:39,664 --> 00:20:42,078 Thank you for entering our Hobo Loco Man search... 443 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,703 Or Hobo Loco Woman, 444 00:20:44,705 --> 00:20:47,203 of course. Yes, ladies. 445 00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:49,037 All right, we have reviewed your applications, 446 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,652 and we're ready to announce the 20 contestants. 447 00:20:50,654 --> 00:20:52,703 If your name is called, please come on up 448 00:20:52,705 --> 00:20:54,537 to the Hobo Loco porch. 449 00:20:54,539 --> 00:20:56,786 Bethany Houseman! 450 00:20:56,788 --> 00:20:58,953 - There's Bethany! - Hey, all right. 451 00:20:58,955 --> 00:21:00,350 Next up, Victor... 452 00:21:00,352 --> 00:21:02,825 "Nag-high." 453 00:21:02,827 --> 00:21:04,412 - Victor! My man. - Yay! 454 00:21:04,414 --> 00:21:05,745 - All right. - Next up: 455 00:21:05,747 --> 00:21:07,412 Frank Gallagher! 456 00:21:07,414 --> 00:21:09,245 Whoo! Yes! Where is he? 457 00:21:09,247 --> 00:21:10,287 - Hey, there he is. - That's Frank. 458 00:21:10,289 --> 00:21:11,828 There he is! 459 00:21:11,830 --> 00:21:15,329 All right. Gloria Sweetland. 460 00:21:16,279 --> 00:21:18,017 Oh, she's got fans. 461 00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:19,703 Uh-oh. 462 00:21:19,705 --> 00:21:22,957 Mikey O'Shea! 463 00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:24,245 - Mikey, Mikey, Mikey. - Yeah. 464 00:21:24,247 --> 00:21:26,662 Yay! 465 00:21:26,664 --> 00:21:28,245 We got a competition now. 466 00:21:28,247 --> 00:21:29,911 - Yeah. - Hola. 467 00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:32,579 Next up, Mrs. O'Coin. 468 00:21:32,581 --> 00:21:34,537 Right. There she is. 469 00:21:39,747 --> 00:21:41,870 Oh, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. 470 00:21:41,872 --> 00:21:44,454 No means no, Audrey, all right? 471 00:21:44,456 --> 00:21:45,952 There you go. 472 00:21:47,497 --> 00:21:48,786 So what boring stuff are you 473 00:21:48,788 --> 00:21:50,704 gonna have me do with you today? 474 00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,843 Uh, gotta buy a new phone charger, 475 00:21:53,845 --> 00:21:55,287 some socks, 476 00:21:55,289 --> 00:21:57,203 then go grocery shopping. 477 00:21:57,205 --> 00:21:58,831 Debs has us on rotation. 478 00:21:58,833 --> 00:22:00,120 It's my turn. 479 00:22:00,122 --> 00:22:02,463 I can help you get some healthy stuff. 480 00:22:02,465 --> 00:22:04,703 Do you know they actually have produce aisles 481 00:22:04,705 --> 00:22:06,291 at the grocery store? 482 00:22:06,293 --> 00:22:08,203 Hmm, you don't say. 483 00:22:10,144 --> 00:22:12,995 This feels so good. 484 00:22:12,997 --> 00:22:14,537 It's been a long time since a boy's 485 00:22:14,539 --> 00:22:16,925 run his fingers through my hair. 486 00:22:18,997 --> 00:22:20,995 Hey, uh, how long you been volunteering here? 487 00:22:20,997 --> 00:22:22,745 Uh, since beauty school. 488 00:22:22,747 --> 00:22:24,786 My Grandma Peggy used to live here. 489 00:22:24,788 --> 00:22:26,620 Hmm? What'd you say? 490 00:22:26,622 --> 00:22:28,805 I wasn't talking to you, Broom Hilda. 491 00:22:29,581 --> 00:22:31,495 I was telling Lip about my Grandma Peggy. 492 00:22:31,497 --> 00:22:33,059 The whore? 493 00:22:33,788 --> 00:22:36,735 She fucked your boyfriend one time. Get over it. 494 00:22:36,737 --> 00:22:38,722 You know, that shit shouldn't matter once you're past 75. 495 00:22:38,724 --> 00:22:39,953 I will never forget. 496 00:22:39,955 --> 00:22:41,866 Okay, well, that's good. You hold on to that. 497 00:22:41,868 --> 00:22:43,359 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 498 00:22:47,122 --> 00:22:49,457 You're smiling at me in that way. 499 00:22:50,497 --> 00:22:52,049 What way? 500 00:22:52,051 --> 00:22:53,869 That you like me. 501 00:22:53,871 --> 00:22:55,703 Well, it's kind of hard not to when you're 502 00:22:55,705 --> 00:22:57,329 putting rollers in some lady's hair 503 00:22:57,331 --> 00:22:58,914 on your day off. 504 00:22:59,891 --> 00:23:01,329 - Oh, whoa. - Audrey, stop. 505 00:23:01,331 --> 00:23:03,703 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Leave him alone. 506 00:23:03,705 --> 00:23:05,331 That's my dick. 507 00:23:20,997 --> 00:23:22,376 'Sup, small fry? 508 00:23:22,378 --> 00:23:23,822 Saw the sign in the window. 509 00:23:23,824 --> 00:23:25,537 "Help Wanted." I need a job. 510 00:23:25,539 --> 00:23:27,003 How old are you? 511 00:23:27,005 --> 00:23:28,010 Twenty-five. 512 00:23:29,247 --> 00:23:31,145 Yeah, come back when you're 31. 513 00:23:31,147 --> 00:23:32,703 Okay. 514 00:23:35,898 --> 00:23:38,485 What do you do with those squeezed-out lemons? 515 00:23:38,487 --> 00:23:39,533 Whoo! 516 00:23:46,289 --> 00:23:49,037 Okay, congratulations, hobos. 517 00:23:49,039 --> 00:23:50,203 For the next week, you'll be sleeping 518 00:23:50,205 --> 00:23:52,412 in this backyard and be required to drink 519 00:23:52,414 --> 00:23:55,287 16 ounces of Hobo Loco daily. 520 00:23:55,289 --> 00:23:57,454 Each day, you'll be given timed challenges. 521 00:23:57,456 --> 00:23:59,287 Those of you who fail to complete the tasks 522 00:23:59,289 --> 00:24:01,162 will be eliminated. 523 00:24:01,164 --> 00:24:03,503 You'll also need to create brand awareness. 524 00:24:03,505 --> 00:24:07,078 You each get a phone and two quarts of Hobo Loco. 525 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,995 Take lots of photos and videos 526 00:24:08,997 --> 00:24:11,330 of folks sampling your Hobo Loco. 527 00:24:11,332 --> 00:24:13,316 All right, who's ready for the first challenge? 528 00:24:13,318 --> 00:24:15,410 - Yeah! - Yay. 529 00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:17,995 In the spirit of a true hobo, each contestant will forage 530 00:24:17,997 --> 00:24:20,620 for their own bedding to sleep on tonight. 531 00:24:20,622 --> 00:24:22,155 You will be judged 532 00:24:22,157 --> 00:24:25,294 on creativity and resourcefulness. 533 00:24:25,296 --> 00:24:28,162 You have one hour. 534 00:24:28,164 --> 00:24:30,411 All right, let's go out there, start hobo-ing! 535 00:24:30,413 --> 00:24:31,703 Okay! 536 00:24:31,705 --> 00:24:33,329 - Frank! - What are you doing? 537 00:24:33,331 --> 00:24:34,412 - Come on, Frank! - Get off of me. No! 538 00:24:34,414 --> 00:24:36,316 Wait for me! 539 00:24:36,318 --> 00:24:37,911 Argh, matey. 540 00:24:37,913 --> 00:24:40,315 Popcorn shrimp is back. 541 00:24:41,331 --> 00:24:43,039 Fucking sh... 542 00:24:44,414 --> 00:24:46,745 Aye, aye, matey. Popcorn shrimp is back. 543 00:24:46,747 --> 00:24:49,703 Hey, butt pirate, need a soda with your shrimp? 544 00:24:49,705 --> 00:24:51,133 Fuck you, douchebag! 545 00:24:52,539 --> 00:24:54,278 Fuck. 546 00:24:55,039 --> 00:24:57,037 Aye, aye, matey. 547 00:24:57,039 --> 00:24:59,971 Popcorn shrimp. Fuck. 548 00:25:01,164 --> 00:25:03,203 When did we plant grass in here? 549 00:25:03,205 --> 00:25:05,662 - That's mold. - Ah, fuck. 550 00:25:05,664 --> 00:25:07,745 When'd you guys suddenly get into cleaning? 551 00:25:07,747 --> 00:25:09,454 Makes Santiago happy. 552 00:25:09,456 --> 00:25:11,462 Yeah, we're doing stuff he likes. 553 00:25:12,955 --> 00:25:14,703 Hey, uh, Santiago said 554 00:25:14,705 --> 00:25:16,919 your girls are trying to murder him. 555 00:25:16,921 --> 00:25:18,245 What? 556 00:25:18,247 --> 00:25:19,627 Is that what they were doing this morning? 557 00:25:19,629 --> 00:25:21,348 Wait, that's what they were doing this morning? 558 00:25:21,350 --> 00:25:22,786 He called them las diablas... 559 00:25:22,788 --> 00:25:24,635 The devils. 560 00:25:24,637 --> 00:25:25,828 But he's okay with it, because he doesn't want you 561 00:25:25,830 --> 00:25:27,162 to send him back. 562 00:25:27,164 --> 00:25:28,953 We're not gonna send him back. 563 00:25:28,955 --> 00:25:30,245 Why would the girls want to murder him? 564 00:25:30,247 --> 00:25:31,911 They're not trying to murder anyone. 565 00:25:31,913 --> 00:25:33,745 - They're just playing. - Maybe they're jealous... 566 00:25:33,747 --> 00:25:35,412 Sibling rivalry. 567 00:25:35,414 --> 00:25:36,774 Maybe they're just not into having 568 00:25:36,776 --> 00:25:38,287 some random brown dude who doesn't speak English 569 00:25:38,289 --> 00:25:39,461 living in their house. 570 00:25:39,463 --> 00:25:41,703 - They're brown too. - Different shade of brown. 571 00:25:41,705 --> 00:25:43,620 Oh, that's crazy. 572 00:25:43,622 --> 00:25:45,495 Just as crazy as white people, who are actually pink, 573 00:25:45,497 --> 00:25:47,245 thinking all black people are the same color. 574 00:25:47,247 --> 00:25:50,703 Well, what about brownish white people, like some Italians 575 00:25:50,705 --> 00:25:52,745 or Portuguese or Spanish? 576 00:25:52,747 --> 00:25:54,665 They can be as brown as Santiago. 577 00:25:54,667 --> 00:25:56,144 They're European brown. 578 00:25:56,146 --> 00:25:57,786 All right, I'm lost. What are you talking about? 579 00:25:57,788 --> 00:25:59,287 Okay, it's real simple. Your girls 580 00:25:59,289 --> 00:26:01,120 are a different brown than Santiago, 581 00:26:01,122 --> 00:26:02,412 so they want his different brown 582 00:26:02,414 --> 00:26:03,786 to go home where he belongs 583 00:26:03,788 --> 00:26:05,245 and leave their brown to get 584 00:26:05,247 --> 00:26:06,995 all the good stuff from America. 585 00:26:06,997 --> 00:26:08,245 Are you saying our girls are racist? 586 00:26:08,247 --> 00:26:09,745 He's saying Amy and Gemma 587 00:26:09,747 --> 00:26:11,828 don't understand what's going on. 588 00:26:11,830 --> 00:26:14,537 What if they want to murder Martina when she shows up? 589 00:26:14,539 --> 00:26:16,120 No one's murdering anyone. 590 00:26:16,122 --> 00:26:18,434 - Who's Martina? - Santiago's sister. 591 00:26:18,436 --> 00:26:19,786 If she's the same color brown as him, 592 00:26:19,788 --> 00:26:21,182 they're gonna want to murder her. 593 00:26:21,184 --> 00:26:22,995 Oh, shut up, Tommy. It'd like Kermit said. 594 00:26:22,997 --> 00:26:24,287 They're just jealous. 595 00:26:24,289 --> 00:26:25,786 We're gonna talk to them after school 596 00:26:25,788 --> 00:26:26,995 and tell them there's plenty of good stuff in America 597 00:26:26,997 --> 00:26:28,287 for all the brown people 598 00:26:28,289 --> 00:26:29,412 so they don't have to end up in jail 599 00:26:29,414 --> 00:26:31,162 for murdering the different brown people 600 00:26:31,164 --> 00:26:32,531 or something like that, right? 601 00:26:37,414 --> 00:26:39,450 Hey, I recognize you. 602 00:26:39,452 --> 00:26:40,995 You're that crazy lady's ex-husband. 603 00:26:40,997 --> 00:26:43,620 - Yeah. Is she here? - Gallaghers don't snitch. 604 00:26:43,622 --> 00:26:45,786 I got a phone app that says she's in there. 605 00:26:45,788 --> 00:26:47,828 Oh, okay. 606 00:26:47,830 --> 00:26:49,786 Make yourself useful and get the door. 607 00:26:49,788 --> 00:26:52,370 All right. 608 00:26:52,372 --> 00:26:54,454 There you go. 609 00:26:56,622 --> 00:26:58,162 Cool if I look around? 610 00:26:58,164 --> 00:26:59,495 Knock yourself out. 611 00:26:59,497 --> 00:27:00,830 Might be upstairs. 612 00:27:02,957 --> 00:27:04,287 - Ingrid? - You fall? 613 00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:05,786 - No. - Ingrid! 614 00:27:05,788 --> 00:27:07,662 Just making sure my embryos stay in. 615 00:27:07,664 --> 00:27:08,911 Where are you? 616 00:27:08,913 --> 00:27:10,245 I'm selling lemonade to make money 617 00:27:10,247 --> 00:27:11,927 so I can sleep indoors again. 618 00:27:11,929 --> 00:27:14,275 - Ingrid? - What the hell are you doing? 619 00:27:14,277 --> 00:27:15,330 Vacuuming the lint 620 00:27:15,332 --> 00:27:17,245 out of the dryer vents before they catch on fire. 621 00:27:17,247 --> 00:27:19,034 Ingrid, where... 622 00:27:19,036 --> 00:27:20,454 Ingrid. 623 00:27:20,456 --> 00:27:22,537 Ingy. 624 00:27:22,539 --> 00:27:24,786 - What are you doing here? - Dr. Kwan called me. 625 00:27:24,788 --> 00:27:26,037 She told me you were pregnant. 626 00:27:26,039 --> 00:27:27,454 That's wonderful. 627 00:27:27,456 --> 00:27:29,412 Wonderful? 628 00:27:29,414 --> 00:27:31,283 You never wanted me to have children 629 00:27:31,285 --> 00:27:32,828 because of my condition. 630 00:27:32,830 --> 00:27:34,586 Well, now that you are pregnant, 631 00:27:34,588 --> 00:27:35,995 it's a beautiful miracle. 632 00:27:35,997 --> 00:27:38,703 - Let's do this together. - What? 633 00:27:38,705 --> 00:27:40,577 They're not even yours. 634 00:27:40,579 --> 00:27:41,662 They're Frank's. 635 00:27:42,331 --> 00:27:44,495 Yes, but you just met him. 636 00:27:44,497 --> 00:27:46,604 You think he's really committed to having more kids? 637 00:27:46,606 --> 00:27:48,620 Yes. Yes. 638 00:27:48,622 --> 00:27:50,454 But I'm the one who's always been there for you, 639 00:27:50,456 --> 00:27:51,953 and I always will, 640 00:27:51,955 --> 00:27:54,078 so let's get you back on your meds 641 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,480 and then we'll go for a checkup with Dr. Kwan. 642 00:27:56,482 --> 00:27:58,745 You're trying to trick me. 643 00:27:58,747 --> 00:28:01,286 You're gonna get me on that exam table 644 00:28:01,288 --> 00:28:04,245 and then have Kwan just suck the embryos out of me! 645 00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:06,454 No, I won't. I won't, I promise. 646 00:28:06,456 --> 00:28:09,703 We'll keep two. We'll have twins. Wouldn't that be great? Twins? 647 00:28:09,705 --> 00:28:11,953 Bullshit. 648 00:28:11,955 --> 00:28:13,745 You don't want my babies. 649 00:28:13,747 --> 00:28:16,393 Frank does. Frank loves me. 650 00:28:16,395 --> 00:28:19,109 He loves all six of my embryos. 651 00:28:20,186 --> 00:28:22,454 I have a phone patient now, 652 00:28:22,456 --> 00:28:24,280 so please go. 653 00:28:26,081 --> 00:28:28,495 Okay, okay. 654 00:28:30,645 --> 00:28:32,258 I'll check back in later. 655 00:28:39,337 --> 00:28:40,462 Hey, Debbie. 656 00:28:43,039 --> 00:28:44,537 Randy's wrong. 657 00:28:44,539 --> 00:28:47,402 Frank'll be committed to my six babies, right? 658 00:28:47,404 --> 00:28:49,203 Not a chance. 659 00:28:58,955 --> 00:29:01,472 What are you on my ass for? 660 00:29:01,474 --> 00:29:03,710 Find your own bedding. This is my spot. 661 00:29:03,712 --> 00:29:05,620 I thought we could make a pact. 662 00:29:05,622 --> 00:29:07,329 Either one of us wins, 663 00:29:07,331 --> 00:29:09,953 we split the spokesman money, 50/50. 664 00:29:09,955 --> 00:29:12,417 You trying to hone in on my dough? 665 00:29:13,164 --> 00:29:15,961 Or am I trying to give you half of mine, hmm? 666 00:29:17,456 --> 00:29:20,289 You're a crafty dude, Mikey O. 667 00:29:21,993 --> 00:29:24,243 I'm a lone wolf. Go. 668 00:29:25,872 --> 00:29:27,511 Suit yourself. 669 00:29:27,513 --> 00:29:29,078 - Suit yourself. - Go! 670 00:29:35,622 --> 00:29:36,995 Jackpot. 671 00:29:43,622 --> 00:29:45,579 Hey, yo! What are you doing in that truck? 672 00:29:45,581 --> 00:29:48,162 Get out of there! 673 00:29:49,414 --> 00:29:50,953 - Hey! - I-I'm, uh... 674 00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:52,662 Get back here! 675 00:29:52,664 --> 00:29:54,786 Where the fuck do you think you're going? 676 00:29:57,497 --> 00:29:58,903 That's what you get! 677 00:29:58,905 --> 00:30:00,859 Serves you right, asshole! 678 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,953 Yeah, you better keep running! 679 00:30:09,454 --> 00:30:11,537 So was it weird buying actual green things 680 00:30:11,539 --> 00:30:12,848 at the grocery store? 681 00:30:12,850 --> 00:30:14,414 Hey, I've bought green things before. 682 00:30:14,416 --> 00:30:16,870 Guacamole, Mountain Dew, 683 00:30:16,872 --> 00:30:18,818 Jell-O, 684 00:30:18,820 --> 00:30:20,537 mint chocolate chip ice cream. 685 00:30:20,539 --> 00:30:22,287 You gonna list every crappy green thing? 686 00:30:22,289 --> 00:30:23,995 Yeah, I can go on. Shamrock shakes. 687 00:30:23,997 --> 00:30:25,456 Green eggs and ham. 688 00:30:29,555 --> 00:30:31,133 Xan? 689 00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:34,122 I didn't know where else to go. 690 00:30:37,705 --> 00:30:39,285 Aye, matey! 691 00:30:40,414 --> 00:30:42,579 Popcorn shrimp is back. 692 00:30:44,601 --> 00:30:47,703 Oh, my God. Check this out. 693 00:30:47,705 --> 00:30:49,055 Gallagher? 694 00:30:49,057 --> 00:30:51,414 Shit. What's up, Little Shins? 695 00:30:52,331 --> 00:30:54,246 What, you out here selling? 696 00:30:54,248 --> 00:30:55,373 Just popcorn shrimp. 697 00:30:58,872 --> 00:31:00,329 'Cause we took over this corner. 698 00:31:00,331 --> 00:31:02,153 I don't like no competition. 699 00:31:02,155 --> 00:31:04,412 Hey, you won't have any from me. 700 00:31:04,414 --> 00:31:05,911 So how do I know this whole 701 00:31:05,913 --> 00:31:07,509 gay pirate shit ain't some front? 702 00:31:07,511 --> 00:31:09,162 I've been out of the business for years. 703 00:31:09,164 --> 00:31:10,831 I'm just working at Captain Bob's now. 704 00:31:12,997 --> 00:31:16,454 I got trust issues, man. What can I say? 705 00:31:16,456 --> 00:31:19,291 I'm gonna have to shake your Johnny Depp-looking ass down, 706 00:31:19,293 --> 00:31:22,870 - make sure you ain't got no stash. - Yo, I swear to you, I don't. 707 00:31:22,872 --> 00:31:24,146 Shake him. 708 00:31:24,148 --> 00:31:26,703 Fuck. They're just shrimp! 709 00:31:29,872 --> 00:31:31,495 Come on, put me down, motherfucker! 710 00:31:31,497 --> 00:31:33,456 Watch the hat! 711 00:31:43,196 --> 00:31:44,236 So what happened? 712 00:31:44,238 --> 00:31:45,572 Xan, where's your mom? 713 00:31:46,383 --> 00:31:47,508 Don't know. 714 00:31:48,611 --> 00:31:50,077 Here. 715 00:31:50,079 --> 00:31:51,454 I'll make you something to eat. 716 00:31:51,456 --> 00:31:53,278 W-when's the last time you saw her? 717 00:31:54,039 --> 00:31:55,662 She went to get pizza. 718 00:31:55,664 --> 00:31:57,707 I waited in the motel. 719 00:31:57,709 --> 00:31:59,810 Watched TV and stuff. 720 00:31:59,812 --> 00:32:01,032 What, and she never came back? 721 00:32:07,747 --> 00:32:09,037 Here you go. 722 00:32:12,205 --> 00:32:13,879 Motel guy kicked me out. 723 00:32:13,881 --> 00:32:15,245 When did this happen? 724 00:32:15,247 --> 00:32:16,687 Couple days ago. 725 00:32:17,567 --> 00:32:19,498 Where have you been since then, Xan? 726 00:32:20,789 --> 00:32:22,868 Sometimes my mom works at this truck stop. 727 00:32:22,870 --> 00:32:24,412 I just hung out there. 728 00:32:24,414 --> 00:32:26,162 A truck stop? 729 00:32:26,164 --> 00:32:27,985 There's a bunch of guys there, but... 730 00:32:29,039 --> 00:32:30,670 my mom never showed up. 731 00:32:30,672 --> 00:32:32,329 Wait, wait, wait, a bunch of guys? 732 00:32:32,331 --> 00:32:33,852 W-what does that mean? They fucking touch you? 733 00:32:33,854 --> 00:32:35,244 - Chill out. - No, I'm not gonna chill 734 00:32:35,246 --> 00:32:36,831 the fuck out. Her mother ditched her again! 735 00:32:36,833 --> 00:32:38,861 Okay, well, you are scaring her. 736 00:32:39,913 --> 00:32:41,740 I'll give her a bath. I'll talk to her. 737 00:32:41,742 --> 00:32:43,370 I'll find out if anything happened. 738 00:32:43,372 --> 00:32:44,530 Okay? 739 00:32:45,414 --> 00:32:46,657 Okay. 740 00:32:52,164 --> 00:32:53,323 It's okay. 741 00:32:54,250 --> 00:32:55,474 I'm sorry, Xan. 742 00:33:00,921 --> 00:33:02,370 Lemonade! 743 00:33:02,372 --> 00:33:04,370 Lemonade! Get your fresh lemonade! 744 00:33:04,372 --> 00:33:06,872 Come get your lemonade. 745 00:33:10,872 --> 00:33:13,675 Let me have one for each one of my guys. 746 00:33:13,677 --> 00:33:15,705 That'll be five bucks. 747 00:33:17,247 --> 00:33:18,579 Keep the change. 748 00:33:18,581 --> 00:33:20,287 Thanks. 749 00:33:27,872 --> 00:33:29,828 How long are you guys gonna be out here? 750 00:33:29,830 --> 00:33:31,370 I don't know. A while. 751 00:33:31,372 --> 00:33:33,203 ? I love who you are ? 752 00:33:35,581 --> 00:33:38,579 ? I love who you are ? 753 00:33:41,414 --> 00:33:42,995 You're blocking my driveway. 754 00:33:42,997 --> 00:33:46,247 ? Who you are ? 755 00:33:47,373 --> 00:33:50,081 Lemonade! Get your fresh lemonade! 756 00:33:58,081 --> 00:33:59,786 Jesus. 757 00:33:59,788 --> 00:34:00,747 Want some lemonade? 758 00:34:10,289 --> 00:34:11,703 Just a Sprite. 759 00:34:11,705 --> 00:34:13,537 Last night fucked with me. 760 00:34:13,539 --> 00:34:15,037 Got a whole new attitude. 761 00:34:15,039 --> 00:34:16,911 - Great. - Ah, perfect. 762 00:34:16,913 --> 00:34:19,412 Uh, Tina, I got table 41's food for you. 763 00:34:19,414 --> 00:34:20,703 Yeah, okay. 764 00:34:20,705 --> 00:34:23,662 Grilled ham and cheese... for you, 765 00:34:23,664 --> 00:34:25,620 and the tacos must be for you. 766 00:34:25,622 --> 00:34:28,537 - Enjoy. - Yes. Thank you. 767 00:34:28,539 --> 00:34:29,828 - Margo. - Good afternoon. 768 00:34:29,830 --> 00:34:31,287 What brings you here? 769 00:34:31,289 --> 00:34:33,746 Police got a 911 call last night 770 00:34:33,748 --> 00:34:35,789 about a possible robbery. 771 00:34:37,705 --> 00:34:39,495 A frantic woman called, saying that three men 772 00:34:39,497 --> 00:34:41,178 were threatening her, 773 00:34:41,180 --> 00:34:43,329 and she said they left but she was afraid 774 00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:44,874 they were gonna come back. 775 00:34:45,705 --> 00:34:48,487 And when the police arrived, the restaurant was closed, 776 00:34:48,489 --> 00:34:52,665 which is interesting, since we're open 24 hours. 777 00:34:52,667 --> 00:34:54,277 Maybe they had the wrong address. 778 00:34:54,279 --> 00:34:55,432 Stop. 779 00:34:57,414 --> 00:34:58,745 I don't want your lies, 780 00:34:58,747 --> 00:35:00,509 and you smell like booze. 781 00:35:00,511 --> 00:35:02,828 I don't know if you're drunk now 782 00:35:02,830 --> 00:35:04,412 or if you just drank so much last night 783 00:35:04,414 --> 00:35:05,911 that it's just coming out of your pores. 784 00:35:05,913 --> 00:35:07,501 No, I'm sober. 785 00:35:07,503 --> 00:35:08,895 You're fired. 786 00:35:08,897 --> 00:35:10,453 What? 787 00:35:11,289 --> 00:35:13,162 Well, why? 788 00:35:13,164 --> 00:35:15,370 I-I haven't had a drink today, I swear. 789 00:35:15,372 --> 00:35:16,786 I've been getting calls for the past month, 790 00:35:16,788 --> 00:35:19,911 from customers and vendors and employees, 791 00:35:19,913 --> 00:35:22,979 saying that you had been drunk on the job 792 00:35:22,981 --> 00:35:25,662 or asleep on the job or angry on the job. 793 00:35:25,664 --> 00:35:27,703 Please don't fire me. Please. 794 00:35:27,705 --> 00:35:29,662 I-I've had a rough couple months, 795 00:35:29,664 --> 00:35:31,995 but-but I've turned a corner. 796 00:35:31,997 --> 00:35:33,828 People who say they've "turned a corner"... 797 00:35:33,830 --> 00:35:35,537 They haven't turned a corner. 798 00:35:35,539 --> 00:35:37,826 They're just trying to convince everyone they have. 799 00:35:38,872 --> 00:35:40,537 Please give me another chance. 800 00:35:40,539 --> 00:35:42,499 I promise I'll straighten out. 801 00:35:42,955 --> 00:35:44,162 Good. 802 00:35:44,164 --> 00:35:45,370 - You should. - Yes. 803 00:35:45,372 --> 00:35:46,811 But not on my watch. 804 00:35:47,997 --> 00:35:49,690 You're acting manager now, 805 00:35:49,692 --> 00:35:52,632 so you make sure she cleans her things up and leaves. 806 00:35:59,289 --> 00:36:01,194 Fuck all of you. 807 00:36:01,894 --> 00:36:03,911 Ratting me out. 808 00:36:05,788 --> 00:36:08,703 If it weren't for me, none of you NA motherfuckers 809 00:36:08,705 --> 00:36:11,161 would even have a job. Mm-hmm. 810 00:36:11,163 --> 00:36:13,620 I wanted to fire you because you suck, 811 00:36:13,622 --> 00:36:14,995 but you called me, crying 812 00:36:14,997 --> 00:36:16,786 about your mother and her medical bills, 813 00:36:16,788 --> 00:36:18,755 and I let you keep your fucking job. 814 00:36:18,757 --> 00:36:19,828 Fiona, I think we should just... 815 00:36:19,830 --> 00:36:21,832 Shut the fuck up, Eliza. 816 00:36:21,834 --> 00:36:23,914 I'm leaving. 817 00:36:25,122 --> 00:36:27,114 Oh, and guess what. 818 00:36:27,116 --> 00:36:30,120 The cook rubbed his dick on all of your meals. 819 00:36:30,122 --> 00:36:31,914 Yeah, enjoy. 820 00:36:34,788 --> 00:36:36,412 Can I get the check, please? 821 00:36:36,414 --> 00:36:38,537 Fuck this, matey. 822 00:36:42,747 --> 00:36:44,412 What happened to you? 823 00:36:44,414 --> 00:36:46,287 I got beat up, shoes thrown at me, 824 00:36:46,289 --> 00:36:48,454 I don't even know how many milk shakes and beers. 825 00:36:48,456 --> 00:36:50,786 You poor baby. 826 00:36:50,788 --> 00:36:53,247 Come here. Come here. 827 00:36:55,539 --> 00:36:57,870 Um, yeah, I don't think it's the best idea 828 00:36:57,872 --> 00:36:59,786 to be spinning signs out there. 829 00:36:59,788 --> 00:37:01,276 Got any other jobs in here? 830 00:37:01,705 --> 00:37:03,370 Are you kidding me? 831 00:37:03,372 --> 00:37:05,786 I got a folder full of applicants wanting jobs: 832 00:37:05,788 --> 00:37:07,514 people with master's degrees, 833 00:37:07,516 --> 00:37:09,287 anthropologists and English majors 834 00:37:09,289 --> 00:37:11,245 and useless things like that. 835 00:37:11,247 --> 00:37:12,786 Wow. Oh, okay. 836 00:37:12,788 --> 00:37:15,194 Besides, you did a great job out there today. 837 00:37:15,196 --> 00:37:17,370 Sales are up 20%. 838 00:37:17,372 --> 00:37:20,166 I'm ordering more popcorn shrimp as we speak. 839 00:37:20,913 --> 00:37:23,405 So you'll be back tomorrow, right? 840 00:37:23,407 --> 00:37:26,031 Uh, yeah. Sure. 841 00:37:26,033 --> 00:37:27,412 Yeah. 842 00:37:27,414 --> 00:37:28,453 Yeah. 843 00:37:31,158 --> 00:37:33,844 Sweetie pies, why were you hitting Santiago this morning? 844 00:37:33,846 --> 00:37:35,551 'Cause we don't like him. 845 00:37:35,553 --> 00:37:37,790 Why? Santiago's a good guy. 846 00:37:37,792 --> 00:37:38,874 He leaves now? 847 00:37:38,876 --> 00:37:40,891 No, baby, he doesn't leave now. 848 00:37:40,893 --> 00:37:42,100 He's staying here with us. 849 00:37:42,102 --> 00:37:43,797 He's our family. 850 00:37:47,289 --> 00:37:48,825 Oh, fuck. 851 00:37:48,827 --> 00:37:51,051 Girls, is this because Santiago's 852 00:37:51,053 --> 00:37:52,645 a different shade of brown than you? 853 00:37:53,456 --> 00:37:56,745 Or, girls, is this because you're jealous of Santiago? 854 00:37:56,747 --> 00:37:58,412 We need to treat people 855 00:37:58,414 --> 00:37:59,828 how we want to be treated. 856 00:37:59,830 --> 00:38:01,329 There are people in this world 857 00:38:01,331 --> 00:38:04,153 who want to send brown people like us back to Africa, 858 00:38:04,155 --> 00:38:05,835 but we won't stand for it, will we? 859 00:38:05,837 --> 00:38:08,380 No. So we also won't stand 860 00:38:08,382 --> 00:38:10,412 for them wanting to send other kinds of brown people 861 00:38:10,414 --> 00:38:12,412 back to Central America. 862 00:38:12,414 --> 00:38:13,575 Get it? 863 00:38:14,955 --> 00:38:17,824 Let me try. Uh, snookums, 864 00:38:17,826 --> 00:38:19,703 I used to have sibling rivalry 865 00:38:19,705 --> 00:38:22,272 with the kids in my foster homes, okay? 866 00:38:22,274 --> 00:38:24,370 Especially this one boy, Joey Caccitore. 867 00:38:24,372 --> 00:38:26,287 He used to kiss up to my foster parents 868 00:38:26,289 --> 00:38:28,078 all the time, and they would give him 869 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,807 extra butterscotch pudding, 870 00:38:29,809 --> 00:38:32,100 and I thought that they loved him more, 871 00:38:32,102 --> 00:38:33,703 but in reality, 872 00:38:33,705 --> 00:38:35,995 they just hated all of us. 873 00:38:35,997 --> 00:38:38,105 - Kev, how is that helping? - I don't know. 874 00:38:38,107 --> 00:38:39,953 I forget that's how the story ended. 875 00:38:39,955 --> 00:38:41,745 I'll get it. 876 00:38:41,747 --> 00:38:43,044 Talk about the brown people more. 877 00:38:43,046 --> 00:38:44,247 I think that was helping. 878 00:38:44,872 --> 00:38:47,329 Just because Santiago's here doesn't mean we love you less, 879 00:38:47,331 --> 00:38:49,162 and just because he's different 880 00:38:49,164 --> 00:38:50,620 doesn't mean that we're gonna get rid of him. 881 00:38:50,622 --> 00:38:51,995 - V. - Yeah? 882 00:38:51,997 --> 00:38:54,078 - Look who it is. - Hi. 883 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:55,328 Martina! 884 00:38:55,330 --> 00:38:56,391 Santiago! 885 00:39:10,289 --> 00:39:12,027 Only 30 seconds left. 886 00:39:12,029 --> 00:39:13,607 What the hell was that? 887 00:39:13,609 --> 00:39:15,828 Smacking me with a two by four out there? 888 00:39:15,830 --> 00:39:17,620 That's the way we're gonna play this thing? 889 00:39:17,622 --> 00:39:20,821 All's fair in love and hobo wars, Frank. 890 00:39:21,955 --> 00:39:24,203 Gauntlet thrown, my friend. 891 00:39:28,247 --> 00:39:30,162 Just got off the phone with the client. 892 00:39:30,164 --> 00:39:32,037 Four Greek councils have signed deals 893 00:39:32,039 --> 00:39:33,870 to make Hobo Loco their featured alcoholic beverage 894 00:39:33,872 --> 00:39:35,537 at all their fraternity parties. 895 00:39:35,539 --> 00:39:36,884 - We're blowing up. - Mm-hmm. 896 00:39:36,886 --> 00:39:38,911 The Insta' Story I just posted less than an hour ago 897 00:39:38,913 --> 00:39:40,479 already has 100,000 viewers. 898 00:39:43,539 --> 00:39:45,263 Oh, sorry, Victor. 899 00:39:45,265 --> 00:39:47,043 You've been eliminated. 900 00:39:47,045 --> 00:39:48,454 And then there were 19. 901 00:39:48,456 --> 00:39:50,071 Cardboard amateur. 902 00:39:50,073 --> 00:39:51,620 Bubble wrap. 903 00:39:51,622 --> 00:39:52,992 Nice touch, Frank. 904 00:39:55,122 --> 00:39:58,245 Ooh, but not as clever as insulation and tarp! 905 00:39:58,247 --> 00:39:59,995 - Ha! - You are the winner 906 00:39:59,997 --> 00:40:01,870 - of this challenge, Mikey O. - Yeah! 907 00:40:04,205 --> 00:40:05,287 All right, let's get out there 908 00:40:05,289 --> 00:40:07,370 for our next challenge: 909 00:40:07,372 --> 00:40:09,995 dumpster diving for your dinner. 910 00:40:09,997 --> 00:40:12,370 Who thinks they can bring back the best meal? 911 00:40:12,372 --> 00:40:14,037 - I can! - Well, let's see! 912 00:40:14,039 --> 00:40:15,703 Whoo! Go! Go! Go! 913 00:40:15,705 --> 00:40:17,412 - Whoo! - One hour! Let's go! 914 00:40:17,414 --> 00:40:19,537 Don't forget to share your Hobo Loco 915 00:40:19,539 --> 00:40:21,495 on social media! 916 00:40:23,788 --> 00:40:25,392 We're gonna make the American hobo 917 00:40:25,394 --> 00:40:27,314 as famous as Joe Camel. 918 00:40:48,768 --> 00:40:50,351 You did good, coming here. 919 00:40:51,189 --> 00:40:52,957 You know, Lip's a smart guy. 920 00:40:53,531 --> 00:40:54,702 I like him. 921 00:40:55,424 --> 00:40:56,938 He'll figure this out. 922 00:40:58,405 --> 00:40:59,745 Yeah. 923 00:40:59,747 --> 00:41:02,155 But you can't be hanging out at truck stops, right? 924 00:41:02,157 --> 00:41:04,002 It's a lot of creepy people out there. 925 00:41:05,976 --> 00:41:07,302 Look, if I saw... 926 00:41:08,269 --> 00:41:10,454 If I saw a little girl on the street alone, 927 00:41:10,456 --> 00:41:12,136 I would want to protect her, 928 00:41:12,787 --> 00:41:14,289 make sure she was safe, 929 00:41:15,164 --> 00:41:16,703 but there are some bad people out there 930 00:41:16,705 --> 00:41:18,101 who'd want to hurt her, 931 00:41:18,668 --> 00:41:20,086 maybe say stuff 932 00:41:20,587 --> 00:41:22,005 or do stuff to her. 933 00:41:23,234 --> 00:41:24,996 If that ever happened, 934 00:41:24,998 --> 00:41:26,607 you can tell me about it. 935 00:41:28,322 --> 00:41:31,312 Hey, I'd listen to anything you have to say, 936 00:41:31,314 --> 00:41:32,995 try and make you feel better, 937 00:41:32,997 --> 00:41:35,431 or maybe even beat the shit out of that person. 938 00:41:35,433 --> 00:41:36,539 I don't know. 939 00:41:39,705 --> 00:41:40,995 Come on. 940 00:41:40,997 --> 00:41:42,078 Let's go raid Lip's closet 941 00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:43,329 and find you something clean to wear. 942 00:41:44,767 --> 00:41:46,370 No, Sally, I didn't say 943 00:41:46,372 --> 00:41:48,995 that you were responsible for Lou not remembering 944 00:41:48,997 --> 00:41:50,416 your birthday. 945 00:41:50,418 --> 00:41:52,995 I said you were responsible 946 00:41:52,997 --> 00:41:54,287 for the way you reacted 947 00:41:54,289 --> 00:41:56,195 to Lou not remembering your birthday. 948 00:41:56,197 --> 00:41:58,745 Guess who just got fucking fired! 949 00:42:00,355 --> 00:42:02,313 Are you shushing me in my own house? 950 00:42:02,315 --> 00:42:03,620 She's doing a phone therapy session 951 00:42:03,622 --> 00:42:05,120 with her client Sally. 952 00:42:05,122 --> 00:42:07,220 Oh. Hey, Sally. 953 00:42:07,222 --> 00:42:10,412 Sally, I got all the therapy you could ever need right here! 954 00:42:10,414 --> 00:42:11,911 - Sorry, Sally... - What happened? 955 00:42:11,913 --> 00:42:13,499 Why'd you get fired? 956 00:42:13,501 --> 00:42:15,537 Bullshit this, bullshit that, 957 00:42:15,539 --> 00:42:17,331 blah, blah, blah. 958 00:42:18,206 --> 00:42:19,662 So what's your plan now? 959 00:42:19,664 --> 00:42:21,517 Gonna hang around here, drinking all day? 960 00:42:22,747 --> 00:42:24,987 Oh, no, I-I might eat something too. 961 00:42:25,712 --> 00:42:26,805 What about money? 962 00:42:27,581 --> 00:42:30,120 Could you stop whining about money for two seconds, maybe? 963 00:42:33,955 --> 00:42:37,162 Brought some popcorn shrimp back from my shitty-ass job. 964 00:42:37,164 --> 00:42:39,370 - Yum. - I'm turning the furnace on. 965 00:42:39,372 --> 00:42:41,347 Gotta check for carbon monoxide leaks. 966 00:42:43,788 --> 00:42:45,943 You need a job, Fiona. 967 00:42:45,945 --> 00:42:47,620 Mm-hmm. 968 00:42:59,039 --> 00:43:00,995 What the hell? 969 00:43:26,247 --> 00:43:28,162 No! Shit! 970 00:43:29,955 --> 00:43:31,620 Come on. 971 00:43:37,664 --> 00:43:38,620 Fuck. 972 00:43:38,622 --> 00:43:39,995 Help! 973 00:43:39,997 --> 00:43:41,573 I'm stuck down here! 974 00:43:41,575 --> 00:43:43,995 I'm coming. I'm coming. 975 00:43:45,414 --> 00:43:47,380 I said I'm coming! 976 00:43:47,382 --> 00:43:48,870 So, uh, what I'm hearing you say, Sally, 977 00:43:48,872 --> 00:43:51,272 is that even though you're still mad at Lou, 978 00:43:51,274 --> 00:43:53,786 you are willing to focus on the good things he does. 979 00:43:53,788 --> 00:43:56,493 Sally, your therapist is having a tea party 980 00:43:56,495 --> 00:43:57,828 with stuffed animals. 981 00:43:57,830 --> 00:43:59,662 Door's open. 982 00:43:59,664 --> 00:44:00,995 Yeah? 983 00:44:00,997 --> 00:44:02,454 We're looking for Ingrid. 984 00:44:02,456 --> 00:44:04,412 I'm her ex-husband. This is Dr. Kwan... 985 00:44:04,414 --> 00:44:06,571 Oh, I don't give a fuck who you are. She's right here. 986 00:44:09,373 --> 00:44:10,537 Yeah, you know, Sally, 987 00:44:10,539 --> 00:44:12,037 we will have to continue this later 988 00:44:12,039 --> 00:44:13,830 same time next week. 989 00:44:17,498 --> 00:44:20,203 I cannot believe that you betrayed me 990 00:44:20,205 --> 00:44:21,828 and brought her here. 991 00:44:21,830 --> 00:44:23,784 Ingrid, Dr. Kwan explained to me 992 00:44:23,786 --> 00:44:25,662 that you will bleed out and die 993 00:44:25,664 --> 00:44:27,657 if you carry six babies to term. 994 00:44:27,659 --> 00:44:30,370 Then why did you implant all those embryos in me? 995 00:44:30,372 --> 00:44:31,911 Because there was only a five percent chance 996 00:44:31,913 --> 00:44:33,870 of any of them surviving implantation 997 00:44:33,872 --> 00:44:35,645 in your shriveled-up uterus. 998 00:44:35,647 --> 00:44:38,007 So what you're saying is, I'm a medical miracle? 999 00:44:38,009 --> 00:44:39,537 You'll be a medical tragedy 1000 00:44:39,539 --> 00:44:41,612 if you carry all six of those fetuses to term. 1001 00:44:41,614 --> 00:44:43,703 I am willing to take my chances. 1002 00:44:43,705 --> 00:44:45,162 Ingrid, we are gonna go to Dr. Kwan's office. 1003 00:44:45,164 --> 00:44:46,469 - No. - She is gonna do 1004 00:44:46,471 --> 00:44:47,828 - the procedure, and then... - No, no, no, no. 1005 00:44:47,830 --> 00:44:49,078 ...I will take you home. 1006 00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:50,505 No! Get out of my house! 1007 00:44:50,507 --> 00:44:52,953 Bitch, if you don't come to my office right now, 1008 00:44:52,955 --> 00:44:55,440 I will go North Korean on you and reach into your vagina 1009 00:44:55,442 --> 00:44:57,911 and rip those embryos out of you with my bare hands! 1010 00:44:57,913 --> 00:44:59,953 Doctor, please! 1011 00:44:59,955 --> 00:45:01,995 She is trying to kill my babies! 1012 00:45:03,913 --> 00:45:05,911 Ingrid? 1013 00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,870 Ingrid? Oh, crap. 1014 00:45:08,872 --> 00:45:10,434 Ingy. 1015 00:45:12,164 --> 00:45:14,745 Ingrid? Open this door! 1016 00:45:14,747 --> 00:45:16,220 - Please. - Hello? 1017 00:45:16,222 --> 00:45:17,565 - Is somebody down here? - Please! 1018 00:45:17,567 --> 00:45:19,454 - I'm trapped! - Ingrid. 1019 00:45:19,456 --> 00:45:22,106 Well, we all feel trapped at some point. 1020 00:45:22,108 --> 00:45:23,786 Uh, do you want to talk about it? 1021 00:45:23,788 --> 00:45:26,620 No, you crazy bitch! It's Debbie! 1022 00:45:26,622 --> 00:45:29,162 I need to get out of here and turn off the gas 1023 00:45:29,164 --> 00:45:30,579 before the house blows up! 1024 00:45:30,581 --> 00:45:31,878 Debbie? 1025 00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:33,896 Debbie? 1026 00:45:33,898 --> 00:45:34,911 Help! 1027 00:45:34,913 --> 00:45:36,473 Help! 1028 00:45:37,039 --> 00:45:38,703 Somebody help! 1029 00:45:38,705 --> 00:45:39,953 Debbie? 1030 00:45:39,955 --> 00:45:40,911 Kelly? 1031 00:45:44,788 --> 00:45:46,364 My pants are stuck. 1032 00:45:46,366 --> 00:45:47,620 Can you take them off? 1033 00:45:47,622 --> 00:45:48,890 What? 1034 00:45:48,892 --> 00:45:51,120 Just take off your pants! 1035 00:45:51,122 --> 00:45:53,162 Oh. 1036 00:45:55,955 --> 00:45:57,539 Uh... 1037 00:46:08,664 --> 00:46:09,953 Oh, my God. 1038 00:46:14,331 --> 00:46:16,472 Nice ass. 1039 00:46:18,581 --> 00:46:19,953 Let's get that gas turned off. 1040 00:46:29,331 --> 00:46:32,259 Thank you for dinner, fancy French restaurant. 1041 00:46:32,261 --> 00:46:33,786 Oh, yeah! 1042 00:46:33,788 --> 00:46:36,081 Any escargots in here? 1043 00:46:38,997 --> 00:46:40,162 Whoa! Hey! 1044 00:46:40,164 --> 00:46:42,370 Come on! Hey! 1045 00:46:42,372 --> 00:46:45,620 All's fair, Mikey O. All's fair. 1046 00:46:45,622 --> 00:46:47,162 Come on, now! 1047 00:46:47,164 --> 00:46:49,662 Come on! Aww! 1048 00:46:55,273 --> 00:46:56,662 ? Boredom, boredom, boredom, boredom ? 1049 00:46:56,664 --> 00:46:58,620 ? Boredom, boredom, boredom ? 1050 00:46:58,622 --> 00:47:00,786 ? Boy my bedroom floor is a cereal burial... ? 1051 00:47:00,788 --> 00:47:02,620 What's going on, fellas? 1052 00:47:02,622 --> 00:47:04,454 Nothing. Just selling lemonade. 1053 00:47:04,456 --> 00:47:06,373 Neighbor said there was a disturbance. 1054 00:47:06,375 --> 00:47:07,812 Yeah, Officer, I called. That was me. 1055 00:47:07,814 --> 00:47:09,120 Seems to be the problem? 1056 00:47:09,122 --> 00:47:10,553 These kids are up to no good. 1057 00:47:10,555 --> 00:47:12,495 They are making way too much noise, okay? 1058 00:47:12,497 --> 00:47:14,329 They are getting water on my car. 1059 00:47:14,331 --> 00:47:16,037 Noise? That's Tyler the Creator. 1060 00:47:16,039 --> 00:47:17,440 They don't belong here, sir. 1061 00:47:17,442 --> 00:47:18,986 We live two streets over. 1062 00:47:18,988 --> 00:47:20,199 Well, I mean, do you have a-a permit 1063 00:47:20,201 --> 00:47:21,686 to operate a food stand in front of my house? 1064 00:47:21,688 --> 00:47:23,037 Ask them, sir. Do they? 1065 00:47:23,039 --> 00:47:24,831 You need a permit to sell lemonade? 1066 00:47:28,209 --> 00:47:30,647 Eighty-three-ten will respond. 1067 00:47:30,649 --> 00:47:32,745 Move the lemonade stand down the street 1068 00:47:32,747 --> 00:47:34,078 and turn down the music. 1069 00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,355 Wait, sir, that's it? 1070 00:47:35,357 --> 00:47:37,201 What do you want me to do, lady? 1071 00:47:37,203 --> 00:47:38,620 Shut them down. 1072 00:47:38,622 --> 00:47:40,424 I just got my car washed. 1073 00:47:42,373 --> 00:47:44,329 You know what? 1074 00:47:44,331 --> 00:47:45,703 Looks like y'all made enough money. 1075 00:47:45,705 --> 00:47:47,192 Why don't you close up shop for the day? 1076 00:47:47,194 --> 00:47:48,526 What? Why? 1077 00:47:49,826 --> 00:47:51,287 Just do it. 1078 00:47:51,289 --> 00:47:53,454 It's not worth the aggravation. 1079 00:47:53,456 --> 00:47:54,763 Here's 20 bucks. 1080 00:47:56,164 --> 00:47:58,078 Get yourself a permit. 1081 00:48:02,010 --> 00:48:04,055 ? Got some cars I can handle ? 1082 00:48:04,057 --> 00:48:05,037 ? But nowhere for performance... ? 1083 00:48:05,039 --> 00:48:07,329 Well, you heard the man. Shut the shit down. 1084 00:48:07,331 --> 00:48:09,579 ? But I hate eating solo ? 1085 00:48:09,581 --> 00:48:11,495 ? Need someone we can loiter in parking lots ? 1086 00:48:11,497 --> 00:48:14,037 ? And sunsets at the border, yeah ? 1087 00:48:14,039 --> 00:48:16,537 ? Ringy-dingy-dong, I can't be alone ? 1088 00:48:16,539 --> 00:48:17,870 ? I been starting to feel... ? 1089 00:48:34,966 --> 00:48:36,288 This is great. 1090 00:48:36,997 --> 00:48:39,775 Big family dinner. This is exactly what I wanted. 1091 00:48:40,735 --> 00:48:42,765 Are you enjoying the food, Martina? 1092 00:48:42,767 --> 00:48:45,334 Better than what they had in the holding cell. 1093 00:48:45,336 --> 00:48:46,620 Oh. 1094 00:48:46,622 --> 00:48:48,287 I am so sorry they put you there. 1095 00:48:48,289 --> 00:48:50,378 This is not what America's normally like. 1096 00:48:51,443 --> 00:48:52,579 I thought you were supposed to be 1097 00:48:52,581 --> 00:48:54,081 the greatest country in the world. 1098 00:48:55,132 --> 00:48:57,007 You caught us at a bad time. 1099 00:48:59,206 --> 00:49:00,425 _ 1100 00:49:00,559 --> 00:49:01,659 _ 1101 00:49:01,765 --> 00:49:02,646 _ 1102 00:49:02,733 --> 00:49:04,439 _ 1103 00:49:06,414 --> 00:49:09,078 Hey, what do you say we, um, finish up dinner 1104 00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:10,786 and watch some TV? Hmm? 1105 00:49:10,788 --> 00:49:13,558 You guys have Pawn Stars in Guatemala? 1106 00:49:16,660 --> 00:49:19,236 Uh, we cannot stay after dinner. 1107 00:49:19,238 --> 00:49:20,377 We have to go back. 1108 00:49:21,539 --> 00:49:23,911 Back? To the detention center? 1109 00:49:23,913 --> 00:49:25,662 To Guatemala. 1110 00:49:25,664 --> 00:49:27,644 We go tonight with our uncle. 1111 00:49:27,646 --> 00:49:30,081 Your uncle? Jose Gomez? 1112 00:49:31,664 --> 00:49:33,786 Our father was deported, so we have to go back 1113 00:49:33,788 --> 00:49:35,006 to be with him. 1114 00:49:35,008 --> 00:49:37,821 Deported? I'm so sorry. 1115 00:49:37,823 --> 00:49:40,585 Sí. Thank you for 1116 00:49:40,587 --> 00:49:42,370 offering to foster us, 1117 00:49:42,372 --> 00:49:44,828 but your country no longer wants 1118 00:49:44,830 --> 00:49:47,828 the tired and poor, yearning to be free, 1119 00:49:47,830 --> 00:49:51,409 like the big green lady in the New York Harbor says. 1120 00:49:51,411 --> 00:49:52,649 Big green lady? 1121 00:49:52,651 --> 00:49:54,070 Statue of Liberty. 1122 00:50:02,547 --> 00:50:04,140 She's been napping a long time. 1123 00:50:04,702 --> 00:50:06,535 Probably hasn't slept in days. 1124 00:50:07,390 --> 00:50:09,181 Yeah, you know, you can go if you want. 1125 00:50:10,081 --> 00:50:11,569 Are you giving me permission? 1126 00:50:11,571 --> 00:50:12,482 No. 1127 00:50:12,484 --> 00:50:14,662 No, I just mean 1128 00:50:14,664 --> 00:50:16,828 if this is too much to deal with, 1129 00:50:16,830 --> 00:50:18,072 you know, I understand. 1130 00:50:18,074 --> 00:50:20,414 You really think I do anything I don't want to do? 1131 00:50:24,918 --> 00:50:27,850 No, probably not. 1132 00:50:27,852 --> 00:50:29,081 Damn right. 1133 00:50:38,622 --> 00:50:39,827 Got you. Yes. 1134 00:50:42,413 --> 00:50:43,995 Hi. 1135 00:50:43,997 --> 00:50:45,662 Hey, buddy. What's up? 1136 00:50:45,664 --> 00:50:47,120 Some lady called the cops on me. 1137 00:50:47,122 --> 00:50:48,799 What'd you do? 1138 00:50:48,801 --> 00:50:50,973 Nothing, just selling lemonade in front of her house. 1139 00:50:50,975 --> 00:50:54,012 Said we got water on her fancy car. 1140 00:51:00,003 --> 00:51:01,329 What lady? 1141 00:51:01,331 --> 00:51:02,703 Over on Bundy. 1142 00:51:02,705 --> 00:51:05,078 The one who bought Mr. Reeback's house and redid it? 1143 00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,287 Uh-huh. 1144 00:51:07,289 --> 00:51:08,537 Who were you with? 1145 00:51:08,539 --> 00:51:09,821 Some friends from school, 1146 00:51:09,823 --> 00:51:11,120 Todd and De-shawn. 1147 00:51:11,122 --> 00:51:12,495 Black kids? 1148 00:51:12,497 --> 00:51:13,635 Yeah. 1149 00:51:14,562 --> 00:51:16,206 Motherfucker. 1150 00:51:18,498 --> 00:51:19,936 Yo! 1151 00:51:25,914 --> 00:51:28,287 We're not gonna eat this stuff, right? 1152 00:51:28,289 --> 00:51:29,662 Oh, no, hell no. 1153 00:51:29,664 --> 00:51:31,203 We're gonna Fear Factor this shit. 1154 00:51:31,205 --> 00:51:32,329 I made it! 1155 00:51:32,331 --> 00:51:33,690 I made it. 1156 00:51:33,692 --> 00:51:35,789 Shit. Damn it. 1157 00:51:37,997 --> 00:51:40,329 Can't keep this player from the game, Frank. 1158 00:51:40,331 --> 00:51:41,412 How did you get out? 1159 00:51:41,414 --> 00:51:43,245 Garbage truck came by. 1160 00:51:43,247 --> 00:51:45,370 Dumped me in the back. It was rough, 1161 00:51:45,372 --> 00:51:47,370 but a pile of old Big Macs broke my fall. 1162 00:51:47,372 --> 00:51:49,079 All right, welcome back. 1163 00:51:49,081 --> 00:51:50,495 We'll now go around and take our pick 1164 00:51:50,497 --> 00:51:53,830 for the dumpster dive competition. 1165 00:51:55,164 --> 00:51:56,397 Sushi, huh? 1166 00:51:56,399 --> 00:51:57,607 Brave choice. 1167 00:52:22,872 --> 00:52:24,370 Hey! 1168 00:52:24,372 --> 00:52:26,790 You know that new bitch over on Bundy? 1169 00:52:26,792 --> 00:52:29,870 Yeah, she pulled some racist shit on my brother Liam, 1170 00:52:29,872 --> 00:52:31,579 so block party. Come on. 1171 00:52:37,830 --> 00:52:39,870 Hey, Mr. Jackson. We're throwing 1172 00:52:39,872 --> 00:52:41,995 a new racist neighbor a welcome party. 1173 00:52:41,997 --> 00:52:43,454 Bring your pit bull. 1174 00:52:43,456 --> 00:52:45,203 Come on, boy. Let's go. 1175 00:52:59,643 --> 00:53:01,329 Welcome to the South Side, bitch! 1176 00:53:08,289 --> 00:53:09,893 You sure you want to do this? 1177 00:53:10,664 --> 00:53:12,747 Sí. 1178 00:53:17,292 --> 00:53:18,559 _ 1179 00:53:27,193 --> 00:53:28,292 Hello. 1180 00:53:28,294 --> 00:53:30,708 Uncle Jose, thank you so much for coming. 1181 00:53:31,460 --> 00:53:32,833 - How are you? - Good. 1182 00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:37,040 _ 1183 00:53:50,327 --> 00:53:52,662 I have no idea what he said. 1184 00:53:52,664 --> 00:53:54,955 It was good. He smiled. 1185 00:53:58,289 --> 00:53:59,952 There goes my son. 1186 00:54:07,705 --> 00:54:09,953 I have called the police. 1187 00:54:11,497 --> 00:54:14,454 They are on their way. 1188 00:54:14,456 --> 00:54:16,953 You are disturbing the peace. 1189 00:54:16,955 --> 00:54:19,078 Hey, lady. 1190 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:21,662 That was my brother with the lemonade stand. 1191 00:54:21,664 --> 00:54:23,412 - What? - That's right. 1192 00:54:23,414 --> 00:54:24,931 I got a black brother. 1193 00:54:27,289 --> 00:54:29,078 What? That's why you didn't want him 1194 00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:30,828 near your house, right? 1195 00:54:30,830 --> 00:54:32,365 'Cause he's black? 1196 00:54:33,164 --> 00:54:35,870 Okay, you need to go home. 1197 00:54:35,872 --> 00:54:37,911 Some of us have jobs. 1198 00:54:37,913 --> 00:54:40,360 You know, I lived in this neighborhood my whole life. 1199 00:54:41,830 --> 00:54:44,927 Kids have always sold lemonade right here. 1200 00:54:45,705 --> 00:54:48,662 Black kids, white kids, 1201 00:54:48,664 --> 00:54:51,120 Russian kids, Mexican kids. 1202 00:54:51,122 --> 00:54:53,828 Would you get away from my fence? 1203 00:54:53,830 --> 00:54:58,537 Nobody ever had a problem with lemonade stands 1204 00:54:58,539 --> 00:55:01,995 until all of you bougie, 1205 00:55:01,997 --> 00:55:03,995 yoga-loving, 1206 00:55:03,997 --> 00:55:06,162 latte-sipping, 1207 00:55:06,164 --> 00:55:11,037 ankle tattoo-wearing, racist assholes 1208 00:55:11,039 --> 00:55:13,373 moved into our neighborhood, so your fence? 1209 00:55:14,581 --> 00:55:16,495 Fuck your fence. 1210 00:55:26,497 --> 00:55:28,745 Ah, shit! 1211 00:55:28,747 --> 00:55:29,811 Hey! 1212 00:55:38,417 --> 00:55:44,417 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 1213 00:56:14,021 --> 00:56:16,412 Video of the food challenge went viral. 1214 00:56:16,414 --> 00:56:18,412 Over 400,000 views. 1215 00:56:18,414 --> 00:56:21,003 People are doing something called the "Hobo Dragon." 1216 00:56:26,444 --> 00:56:29,059 We are totally getting promoted after this. 1217 00:56:30,039 --> 00:56:32,037 Another alcohol poisoning inside? 1218 00:56:32,039 --> 00:56:33,828 Yeah, fourth one today.