1
00:00:20,030 --> 00:00:22,437
What is it about morning boners?

2
00:00:22,438 --> 00:00:24,705
Yeah, it's not the boner.

3
00:00:24,706 --> 00:00:27,924
It's that my haunches
are fresh and rested.

4
00:00:27,925 --> 00:00:29,972
Like when you take a
thoroughbred to the track

5
00:00:29,973 --> 00:00:33,520
first thing in the morning,
fastest time of the day.

6
00:00:37,893 --> 00:00:39,133
What?

7
00:00:42,528 --> 00:00:43,767
Oh, no.

8
00:00:43,768 --> 00:00:46,118
Oh, yes. Jimmy, I think it's time.

9
00:00:46,119 --> 00:00:48,337
No. No, not today.

10
00:00:48,338 --> 00:00:50,296
- You promised me you would do this.
- I don't feel good.

11
00:00:50,297 --> 00:00:52,907
Is that the message you want
to give your bride, Jimmy?

12
00:00:52,908 --> 00:00:54,604
That you're not willing to do something

13
00:00:54,605 --> 00:00:57,172
that is extremely, extremely

14
00:00:57,173 --> 00:00:58,587
important to me?

15
00:00:59,937 --> 00:01:01,960
Fine. I'll taste my come.

16
00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:04,115
Yay!

17
00:01:14,838 --> 00:01:17,584
What do you think, Jimmy?
Do you hate it? Is it gross?

18
00:01:17,585 --> 00:01:19,956
Do you think it's gross, Jimmy?
What do you think, Jimmy?

19
00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:24,309
It's like... salty fruit glue.

20
00:01:24,883 --> 00:01:26,288
Exactly.

21
00:01:26,289 --> 00:01:28,203
Oh.

22
00:01:28,204 --> 00:01:30,528
My Lyft is here. I'm
gonna hop in the shower.

23
00:01:31,338 --> 00:01:34,079
What? They're not gonna
just wait for you.

24
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:35,908
You tell them you're in a wheelchair.

25
00:01:35,909 --> 00:01:37,604
Then they legally have to
wait as long as you want.

26
00:01:37,605 --> 00:01:39,294
Wait, have you just
been Lyfting everywhere

27
00:01:39,295 --> 00:01:40,948
since you wrecked your car?

28
00:01:40,949 --> 00:01:43,175
I can't drive, Jimmy.

29
00:01:43,176 --> 00:01:45,090
Every time I close my eyes,

30
00:01:45,091 --> 00:01:47,570
I see that cement mixer
bearing down on me.

31
00:01:47,571 --> 00:01:49,510
You faked it, you psychopath.

32
00:01:49,511 --> 00:01:51,139
Oh.

33
00:01:51,140 --> 00:01:54,469
Whoa. I'm starting to
believe my own lies.

34
00:02:04,044 --> 00:02:06,894
Oh, my God! You love it!

35
00:02:06,895 --> 00:02:08,852
No! No, I do not.

36
00:02:08,853 --> 00:02:11,203
What? You're lapping it
up like it's soft serve.

37
00:02:11,204 --> 00:02:12,748
I-I...

38
00:02:12,749 --> 00:02:15,033
I was making sure that
it just tasted as weird

39
00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:16,338
as I thought it did.

40
00:02:16,339 --> 00:02:18,253
You just Oliver'd your own come.

41
00:02:18,254 --> 00:02:20,240
"Please, sir, may I have some more?"

42
00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,822
You said it was important to you!

43
00:02:21,823 --> 00:02:24,042
When I was watching, not on your own,

44
00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:27,090
like some come-hungry jizz-goblin.

45
00:02:33,034 --> 00:02:39,035
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com

46
00:03:13,386 --> 00:03:16,122
_

47
00:03:19,337 --> 00:03:20,846
Brilliant,

48
00:03:20,847 --> 00:03:24,289
absolutely brilliant.

49
00:03:30,304 --> 00:03:33,323
Gretchen, something amazing's happened!

50
00:03:35,070 --> 00:03:37,847
What? You come back for thirds?

51
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,133
What?

52
00:03:41,924 --> 00:03:44,325
Library card. I just got a library card.

53
00:03:44,326 --> 00:03:46,526
Not exactly amazing news,

54
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,686
but you're on a come
high. I've been there.

55
00:03:52,152 --> 00:03:53,566
What?

56
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,091
How's someone in a wheelchair
supposed to walk to their ride?

57
00:03:57,092 --> 00:03:59,203
Come on, Jimmy, think.

58
00:05:48,474 --> 00:05:50,605
Lindsay, you have your own office.

59
00:05:50,606 --> 00:05:54,783
I do? Awesome. Does
it have a sex toilet?

60
00:05:54,784 --> 00:05:56,307
Here's your breakfast, Ms. Cottumaccio.

61
00:05:56,308 --> 00:05:58,744
Hmm. Apparently, I have an office,

62
00:05:58,745 --> 00:06:00,267
so I'll need some supplies.

63
00:06:00,268 --> 00:06:02,269
Uh, kitty posters with inspiring quotes,

64
00:06:02,270 --> 00:06:06,186
finger paints, a sex toilet,
popcorn machine, etcets.

65
00:06:06,187 --> 00:06:07,100
Who are you?

66
00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:08,101
He's my new assistant.

67
00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:09,790
I'm actually your assistant.

68
00:06:09,791 --> 00:06:11,061
I have an assistant?

69
00:06:11,062 --> 00:06:12,976
Dismissed.

70
00:06:12,977 --> 00:06:15,065
So, what do Sam and the
boys think about me

71
00:06:15,066 --> 00:06:16,980
being their whatchamacallit,
paleontologist?

72
00:06:16,981 --> 00:06:18,807
Publicist.

73
00:06:18,808 --> 00:06:21,636
I haven't told them yet. Sam
takes rejection really hard.

74
00:06:21,637 --> 00:06:24,552
Mm, we should do it someplace
fun to soften the blow,

75
00:06:24,553 --> 00:06:26,776
like the beach or a rub 'n tug.

76
00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:30,645
Good idea. But I have to do it alone.

77
00:06:30,646 --> 00:06:32,212
Meanwhile, you need to focus

78
00:06:32,213 --> 00:06:33,953
and learn how to actually do the job.

79
00:06:33,954 --> 00:06:35,520
Fine, but for the record,

80
00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:38,001
I really only took this
gig to be closer to you,

81
00:06:38,002 --> 00:06:40,525
since you're ditching me
to become a stupid wife.

82
00:06:40,526 --> 00:06:43,223
Literally nothing will change

83
00:06:43,224 --> 00:06:44,964
except that my debt will be on the J-dog

84
00:06:44,965 --> 00:06:46,879
and the beejays will slow to a trickle

85
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,882
because... come on.

86
00:06:49,883 --> 00:06:52,667
Hmm.

87
00:06:52,668 --> 00:06:56,889
Mm-hmm. I'm glad you called me.

88
00:06:56,890 --> 00:06:59,196
You're not the only person
to make a foolish purchase

89
00:06:59,197 --> 00:07:01,691
upon receiving their first big check.

90
00:07:01,692 --> 00:07:03,852
Why, when I received my first

91
00:07:03,853 --> 00:07:05,245
stout remittance,

92
00:07:05,246 --> 00:07:08,031
I went absolutely cuckoo

93
00:07:08,032 --> 00:07:12,731
and purchased a 20,000-piece
puzzle of the Eye of the Sahara.

94
00:07:15,212 --> 00:07:17,475
That was a decadent three weeks.

95
00:07:17,476 --> 00:07:21,131
Anyway, the puzzle
we're focused on today

96
00:07:21,132 --> 00:07:24,123
is called, "Jimmy's financial future."

97
00:07:24,124 --> 00:07:25,787
Yeah, I was really just thinking about,

98
00:07:25,788 --> 00:07:28,136
like, opening a CD or something.

99
00:07:28,137 --> 00:07:30,053
Jimmy. You're asking for flank steak

100
00:07:30,054 --> 00:07:33,067
when I'm about to offer
you dry-aged Wagyu.

101
00:07:33,068 --> 00:07:36,233
$700,000 is a robust start.

102
00:07:36,234 --> 00:07:39,801
Assuming a continued
upward career trajectory,

103
00:07:39,802 --> 00:07:42,760
you'll be part of the
one percent in no time.

104
00:07:43,741 --> 00:07:46,652
Can you imagine? Me?

105
00:07:46,653 --> 00:07:48,854
A one-percenter.

106
00:07:48,855 --> 00:07:50,864
Cabins in Aspen,

107
00:07:50,865 --> 00:07:54,294
golf with corrupt politicians,
an embarrassing car collection

108
00:07:54,295 --> 00:07:57,167
kept in some Van Nuysian airport hangar.

109
00:07:57,168 --> 00:07:58,603
Now you're getting it.

110
00:07:58,604 --> 00:08:00,822
I mean, I've always felt elite.

111
00:08:00,823 --> 00:08:02,476
You know, when Gretchen said that she...

112
00:08:02,477 --> 00:08:04,747
Oh, dear. Does Gretchen
know about the money?

113
00:08:04,748 --> 00:08:06,089
Not-not yet, but...

114
00:08:06,090 --> 00:08:07,829
- Quick, give me a dollar.
- What? Why?

115
00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:09,767
Just do it!

116
00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:12,465
Okay.

117
00:08:12,466 --> 00:08:16,286
Phew. We've now established
confidentiality.

118
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,231
Do you know about Gretchen's debt?

119
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:20,464
Yeah, but how do you?

120
00:08:20,465 --> 00:08:24,391
She's tried to open countless
credit cards in my name.

121
00:08:24,392 --> 00:08:27,688
Gretchen's what we call an
S.D., a Super Dependent,

122
00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:30,939
like Rob Kardashian, or a dog
whose back legs don't work.

123
00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:33,116
Are you saying that I
should never tell Gretchen

124
00:08:33,117 --> 00:08:35,205
- about the money?
- As someone who believes

125
00:08:35,206 --> 00:08:38,338
in complete honesty between
romantic partners,

126
00:08:39,125 --> 00:08:41,877
I would say hiding something
like this is not recommended.

127
00:08:41,878 --> 00:08:43,778
- Yeah.
- As your financial advisor,

128
00:08:43,779 --> 00:08:46,865
I would say, "What money?"

129
00:08:49,657 --> 00:08:52,004
Well, back to the office.

130
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,552
- Edgar.
- Jimmy.

131
00:08:55,553 --> 00:08:57,377
It's my abuelita.

132
00:08:57,378 --> 00:08:59,272
She's sick, Jimmy.

133
00:08:59,273 --> 00:09:01,259
Why are you telling me?

134
00:09:01,260 --> 00:09:03,146
I can't help her. I
don't have any money.

135
00:09:03,147 --> 00:09:05,589
Oh. Thank God you believed me.

136
00:09:05,590 --> 00:09:08,115
I just need an excuse to get
out of work because yesterday

137
00:09:08,116 --> 00:09:10,994
Paul F. Tompkins made me drink
two liters of split pea soup.

138
00:09:10,995 --> 00:09:13,686
But also, geez, loud and clear.

139
00:09:17,748 --> 00:09:20,210
Edgar. I was just picking up breakfast.

140
00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:22,030
I hope you like cronuts.

141
00:09:22,031 --> 00:09:23,470
Oh. That's right, you don't.

142
00:09:23,471 --> 00:09:25,134
Maybe you'll have a few anyway?

143
00:09:25,135 --> 00:09:26,994
Oh, that's actually what
I was calling about.

144
00:09:26,995 --> 00:09:30,390
It's... my... grandma.

145
00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:33,263
She's really sick.

146
00:09:33,264 --> 00:09:36,135
We-we don't know how
much longer she has.

147
00:09:36,136 --> 00:09:38,677
So I can't come in to work.

148
00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:41,385
Oh, my gosh, I had no idea.

149
00:09:41,386 --> 00:09:43,186
Take as much time as you need.

150
00:09:43,187 --> 00:09:44,365
Oh, thank you.

151
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:46,928
Please. And let us know if
there's anything we can do.

152
00:09:46,929 --> 00:09:48,236
I will.

153
00:09:49,584 --> 00:09:52,869
Well, he seems like a monster.

154
00:09:52,870 --> 00:09:54,777
Gosh, maybe I've just
been too sensitive.

155
00:09:54,778 --> 00:09:57,778
I mean, a good fireworks
display does make you cry.

156
00:09:57,779 --> 00:10:00,039
So, yeah, probably.

157
00:10:01,292 --> 00:10:02,314
Hmm.

158
00:10:03,315 --> 00:10:06,034
Ugh, what's wrong with you?

159
00:10:06,035 --> 00:10:09,054
- Have you seen Vernon?
- I try not to.

160
00:10:09,055 --> 00:10:12,215
Oh, Jimmy. I'm so worried about him.

161
00:10:12,216 --> 00:10:14,347
With the embarrassment
of his medical license

162
00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:16,610
being suspended and losing the house,

163
00:10:16,611 --> 00:10:18,910
not to mention Tallulah's
eye really going downhill,

164
00:10:18,911 --> 00:10:20,397
he's a wreck.

165
00:10:20,398 --> 00:10:23,748
He left this morning without his
phone or his wallet, Jimmy.

166
00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:27,607
Becca, trust me. Vernon
is far, far too stupid

167
00:10:27,608 --> 00:10:28,942
to be suicidal.

168
00:10:28,943 --> 00:10:32,017
Really? I hope you're right.

169
00:10:32,018 --> 00:10:35,533
Could I take a shower?
Lindsay's water got shut off.

170
00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:39,186
- Two minutes, but purely for hygiene.
- Mm-hmm.

171
00:10:39,187 --> 00:10:42,702
No sighing in relief and no steam.

172
00:10:48,603 --> 00:10:52,255
Debase me, Jimmy, like old times.

173
00:10:52,256 --> 00:10:54,213
I'm at rock bottom.

174
00:10:54,214 --> 00:10:57,080
Use my body so that I
might feel something.

175
00:10:57,808 --> 00:11:01,264
Uh, while I do find
Alcoholic Housewife Cosette

176
00:11:01,265 --> 00:11:03,266
to be a good look for you,

177
00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:05,539
I'm gonna have to issue a hard pass.

178
00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:13,319
Please, just hold me, then.

179
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:17,156
Ah. Jesus, woman.

180
00:11:17,157 --> 00:11:20,051
Let's not snot up the linens now.

181
00:11:20,827 --> 00:11:22,241
Gotcha.

182
00:11:22,242 --> 00:11:24,577
Oh.

183
00:11:24,578 --> 00:11:26,245
Paul told me you're loaded.

184
00:11:26,246 --> 00:11:28,291
And if you don't slice me
off a hunk of that cheddar,

185
00:11:28,292 --> 00:11:31,890
then this photo goes straight to
your precious little fiancée.

186
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:33,905
Checkmate, asswipe.

187
00:11:33,906 --> 00:11:35,298
That's your big play?

188
00:11:35,299 --> 00:11:37,474
Please, she'd think it's hilarious.

189
00:11:37,475 --> 00:11:39,302
I'll do it! I swear I will!

190
00:11:39,303 --> 00:11:42,392
By contrast, a good play would be,

191
00:11:42,393 --> 00:11:43,952
just off the top of my head,

192
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:47,875
my declaration that if
you don't pay me $500...

193
00:11:47,876 --> 00:11:49,834
...I'll send this picture

194
00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:52,184
to that horrid mother
of yours so she'll know

195
00:11:52,185 --> 00:11:53,968
that her own daughter lied to her

196
00:11:53,969 --> 00:11:55,875
about having a vaginal birth.

197
00:12:04,175 --> 00:12:05,940
I will Venmo you.

198
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:20,745
Look at me! I'm flying, bitches.

199
00:12:20,746 --> 00:12:22,747
Stop flapping your arms.
You're gonna hurt someone.

200
00:12:22,748 --> 00:12:24,184
I'm Honey Nutz!

201
00:12:34,584 --> 00:12:37,016
Who's ready for the piñata?

202
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:38,816
- Oh, me first!
- Oh, yeah. Wait, I'll take that.

203
00:12:38,817 --> 00:12:40,983
- Give me that stick.
- Isn't this great?

204
00:12:40,984 --> 00:12:43,159
- Aren't you guys having fun?
- Hmm.

205
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,421
I'm sorry.

206
00:12:44,422 --> 00:12:46,335
I know you told me not to say anything,

207
00:12:46,336 --> 00:12:48,143
but we need to talk about Honey Nutz.

208
00:12:48,144 --> 00:12:49,929
What is there to talk about?

209
00:12:49,930 --> 00:12:51,495
There's a clown.

210
00:12:54,171 --> 00:12:56,433
Wh-Where is Zachary?

211
00:12:56,434 --> 00:12:58,435
I don't know anyone named Zachary.

212
00:12:58,436 --> 00:13:00,394
He says hi.

213
00:13:00,395 --> 00:13:03,289
I can't believe you rebooted Honey Nutz.

214
00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:11,720
Bitch, do you know how much time

215
00:13:11,721 --> 00:13:13,102
I spent building that character?

216
00:13:13,103 --> 00:13:14,364
You think I'd give that up

217
00:13:14,365 --> 00:13:16,036
just 'cause Honey Nutz One aged out?

218
00:13:16,037 --> 00:13:17,399
This is weird, right?

219
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:22,861
So, uh, anyways, did I tell
you guys about my promotion?

220
00:13:23,852 --> 00:13:25,615
Wh-What's wrong?

221
00:13:25,616 --> 00:13:27,203
This is precisely how my parents

222
00:13:27,204 --> 00:13:28,688
told me they were getting divorced.

223
00:13:28,689 --> 00:13:30,753
They thought it wouldn't
hurt as much over mini golf.

224
00:13:30,754 --> 00:13:33,340
Now every time I see a
windmill, I throw up.

225
00:13:33,341 --> 00:13:35,378
That's why I can never
go to the Netherlands.

226
00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:36,483
Come on.

227
00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:39,476
Gretchen wouldn't throw us a
carnival to give us bad news.

228
00:13:39,477 --> 00:13:40,779
She's not a monster.

229
00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:43,219
Guys, this is good news.

230
00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:45,047
- You're dumping us.
- I'm not dumping you.

231
00:13:45,048 --> 00:13:46,701
So we can still call you whenever?

232
00:13:46,702 --> 00:13:48,334
Absolutely.

233
00:13:48,335 --> 00:13:50,218
You just call your new point person,

234
00:13:50,219 --> 00:13:51,711
and they'll loop me in
if it's an emergency.

235
00:13:51,712 --> 00:13:54,059
And who is our new point person?

236
00:13:54,447 --> 00:13:55,797
Lindsay. Isn't that amazing?

237
00:13:55,798 --> 00:13:58,508
I knew it! You're abandoning us.

238
00:13:58,509 --> 00:14:00,489
Bitch! I hate you!

239
00:14:03,087 --> 00:14:07,582
Your work has long been subpar,
but this still stings.

240
00:14:26,969 --> 00:14:28,776
All right, Edgar.

241
00:14:28,778 --> 00:14:30,196
I need to ask your advice on something.

242
00:14:30,197 --> 00:14:32,057
Hold it.

243
00:14:32,058 --> 00:14:33,865
Hold that thought.

244
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:41,179
Hello, Mr. Tompkins.

245
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:44,306
Edgar, there's the face
I wanted to time with.

246
00:14:44,307 --> 00:14:45,732
Any update on Abuelita?

247
00:14:45,733 --> 00:14:47,541
Sadly, yes.

248
00:14:47,542 --> 00:14:49,612
She's taken a turn for the worse.

249
00:14:49,613 --> 00:14:51,058
That's curious.

250
00:14:51,059 --> 00:14:53,017
Because she looks just fine to me.

251
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,845
Um, I'm sorry, can...
can you repeat that?

252
00:14:55,846 --> 00:14:59,751
I said your abuelita looks
just fine to me. See?

253
00:14:59,752 --> 00:15:01,324
Hola, mi tesoro.

254
00:15:01,325 --> 00:15:03,610
Your friend Paul... He's so nice.

255
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,700
It's a miracle, right?

256
00:15:05,701 --> 00:15:07,118
One minute she's taking
a turn for the worse,

257
00:15:07,119 --> 00:15:09,419
the next she's headed to
Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles

258
00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:11,209
with the nicest guy in comedy.

259
00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:13,676
We're getting waffles
with chicken, Edgar.

260
00:15:13,677 --> 00:15:16,584
So, since she's had this
miraculous recovery,

261
00:15:16,585 --> 00:15:19,421
I guess you can make it
into the office after all.

262
00:15:19,422 --> 00:15:21,549
Don't eat before. We'll order in.

263
00:15:22,567 --> 00:15:24,994
So, I got this huge check.

264
00:15:24,995 --> 00:15:26,137
And you know the saying:

265
00:15:26,138 --> 00:15:29,053
"mo' money, mo' issues
with which to contend."

266
00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:30,861
If I tell Gretchen,

267
00:15:30,862 --> 00:15:34,127
then it will naturally
change our power dynamics.

268
00:15:34,128 --> 00:15:35,276
I will be perceived

269
00:15:35,277 --> 00:15:37,844
as an authority figure, and
then Gretchen will resist

270
00:15:37,845 --> 00:15:40,187
because she hates authority.

271
00:15:40,188 --> 00:15:41,804
I mean, I don't want to be

272
00:15:41,805 --> 00:15:44,244
The Man in our relationship.

273
00:15:44,245 --> 00:15:45,721
Oh, that last part came out weird.

274
00:15:45,722 --> 00:15:47,986
You did just hear that Paul F. Tompkins

275
00:15:47,987 --> 00:15:50,294
kidnapped my grandmother, right?

276
00:15:50,295 --> 00:15:53,816
To be fair, I believe I started
talking before the call.

277
00:15:53,817 --> 00:15:58,156
Besides, a comedian taking
your grandmother out to dinner

278
00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:00,162
does not sound like a problem.

279
00:16:00,163 --> 00:16:03,671
I have a problem. I am incredibly rich.

280
00:16:17,428 --> 00:16:20,104
Jimmy, I have to apologize
for Bec's behavior.

281
00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:22,193
That was gross and inexcusable.

282
00:16:22,194 --> 00:16:24,630
Yeah, I agree. Your wife is gross,

283
00:16:24,631 --> 00:16:26,240
and there's no excuse for it.

284
00:16:26,241 --> 00:16:29,852
Ever since I was born
dead, people... life...

285
00:16:29,853 --> 00:16:32,567
Have seemed ruled purely by chaos.

286
00:16:32,568 --> 00:16:34,118
But losing everything

287
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:36,685
has finally allowed me to slow down,

288
00:16:36,686 --> 00:16:40,835
and I can see there's
an order to everything.

289
00:16:40,836 --> 00:16:42,641
Becca's the perfect example.

290
00:16:42,642 --> 00:16:44,867
Our whole marriage, I
could never predict

291
00:16:44,868 --> 00:16:47,108
what she was gonna do
from moment to moment.

292
00:16:47,109 --> 00:16:49,350
But now? The moment she
learned you had a few bucks,

293
00:16:49,351 --> 00:16:51,623
I knew exactly what she was gonna do.

294
00:16:51,624 --> 00:16:53,876
Run over here to raise her tail.

295
00:16:53,877 --> 00:16:56,574
And I'm not mad at her. You know why?

296
00:16:57,254 --> 00:16:59,143
Because losing everything...

297
00:16:59,806 --> 00:17:02,017
It's actually made us close again.

298
00:17:02,018 --> 00:17:04,931
Take last night... after Tallulah
went to sleep in her drawer,

299
00:17:04,932 --> 00:17:06,794
Becca and I fired up a joint,

300
00:17:06,795 --> 00:17:08,717
we sat on Lindsay's couch, watching TV,

301
00:17:08,718 --> 00:17:10,825
laughing about this and that.

302
00:17:11,685 --> 00:17:13,353
And, unprompted,

303
00:17:14,311 --> 00:17:17,369
she started giving me a hand job.

304
00:17:18,315 --> 00:17:20,903
And, Jimmy, I started to weep.

305
00:17:20,904 --> 00:17:24,006
There she was, the woman I love,

306
00:17:24,007 --> 00:17:25,343
sipping on boxed Chablis

307
00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:27,345
and spitting in her hand.

308
00:17:28,026 --> 00:17:31,653
I could really see her
for the first time.

309
00:17:31,654 --> 00:17:34,793
And now that I can, I
never want to stop.

310
00:17:34,794 --> 00:17:38,026
I don't want to go back
to the fog of work,

311
00:17:38,027 --> 00:17:39,922
accomplishments, achievement,

312
00:17:39,923 --> 00:17:41,428
money, money, money,

313
00:17:41,429 --> 00:17:43,661
taking everything for fucking granted.

314
00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:46,214
I will not do that again.

315
00:17:46,215 --> 00:17:48,021
I will not, goddamn it.

316
00:17:48,022 --> 00:17:50,864
All we have are moments, Jimmy.

317
00:17:51,974 --> 00:17:53,491
Like that hand job.

318
00:17:53,492 --> 00:17:54,633
Like this moment.

319
00:17:54,634 --> 00:17:57,201
You sew enough of those
moments together,

320
00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:58,637
and, the next thing you know,

321
00:17:58,638 --> 00:18:02,215
you have a life worth really seeing.

322
00:18:03,193 --> 00:18:06,210
Which is why I need you
to give me $14,000

323
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:09,169
so I can convert this
Korean meatball truck

324
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:10,930
into a roving medical unit.

325
00:18:10,931 --> 00:18:12,172
What do you say?

326
00:18:12,173 --> 00:18:13,826
You in or what?

327
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:15,436
What?

328
00:18:15,437 --> 00:18:17,148
No.

329
00:18:17,149 --> 00:18:19,216
Well, had to try.

330
00:18:20,747 --> 00:18:22,324
Hey, babe.

331
00:18:22,325 --> 00:18:24,318
Nah, it didn't work for me either.

332
00:18:24,319 --> 00:18:25,879
Yeah, he's being a jerk-off.

333
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,139
Meet you out front in ten.

334
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,449
Can we stop at Yogurtland?

335
00:18:28,996 --> 00:18:30,584
Aw, come on!

336
00:18:31,549 --> 00:18:32,801
She's on her way.

337
00:18:32,802 --> 00:18:34,890
You gonna eat that grilled cheese?

338
00:18:34,891 --> 00:18:36,046
Ugh.

339
00:18:36,047 --> 00:18:37,197
Who knew rappers could be

340
00:18:37,198 --> 00:18:39,377
- so temperamental?
- What's up, Gretch?

341
00:18:39,378 --> 00:18:40,990
Congrats on the big news.

342
00:18:40,991 --> 00:18:42,333
My promotion?

343
00:18:42,334 --> 00:18:44,103
You got promoted? Tight.

344
00:18:45,380 --> 00:18:47,263
That must be Lindser.

345
00:18:47,264 --> 00:18:49,484
We're finally gonna try
champ-pons tonight.

346
00:18:49,485 --> 00:18:51,385
- Hmm?
- Champagne tampons?

347
00:18:51,879 --> 00:18:53,642
It's huge on Reddit.

348
00:18:59,046 --> 00:19:00,842
Famous rappers. Noice!

349
00:19:00,843 --> 00:19:02,831
Put me in a video. Don't be dicks.

350
00:19:02,832 --> 00:19:04,286
We just came to tell you

351
00:19:04,287 --> 00:19:06,313
face-to-face that you're not leaving us.

352
00:19:06,314 --> 00:19:08,272
Because we're leaving you first.

353
00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:09,830
Oh, snap.

354
00:19:09,831 --> 00:19:11,429
Is that something I would say?

355
00:19:11,430 --> 00:19:12,624
I am not leaving you guys.

356
00:19:12,625 --> 00:19:15,156
I am just expanding my team.

357
00:19:15,157 --> 00:19:16,802
I know you're worried
Lindsay won't be up

358
00:19:16,803 --> 00:19:18,325
for running point, but
I'm holding her hand

359
00:19:18,326 --> 00:19:19,370
through everything.

360
00:19:19,371 --> 00:19:20,849
Plus, she's crazy matured.

361
00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:23,622
Yee-haw!

362
00:19:27,326 --> 00:19:29,767
Oh, hey.

363
00:19:29,768 --> 00:19:31,825
Well, if it isn't my
new favorite clients.

364
00:19:31,826 --> 00:19:33,514
We're not your clients.

365
00:19:33,515 --> 00:19:36,018
- We're leaving Caliber.
- Oh, what's Caliber?

366
00:19:36,019 --> 00:19:37,761
Look, guys, I get it.

367
00:19:37,762 --> 00:19:41,392
Change is scary, but Gretch
has laid a killer foundation

368
00:19:41,393 --> 00:19:42,958
and I'm gonna take you
to the next level.

369
00:19:42,959 --> 00:19:44,407
Psh. How?

370
00:19:44,408 --> 00:19:45,853
Let's not get into
specifics right now...

371
00:19:45,854 --> 00:19:47,354
Vice, Complex, and The Source

372
00:19:47,355 --> 00:19:49,051
are coming to town next
week to do a press tour

373
00:19:49,052 --> 00:19:50,977
to reinvigorate the brand. Plus,

374
00:19:50,978 --> 00:19:52,490
I've been talking to a Swedish promoter,

375
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:53,897
where you guys are very popular,

376
00:19:53,898 --> 00:19:55,874
and we're working up a mini tour.

377
00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:59,475
If we avoid the windmill
parts, that could be cool.

378
00:19:59,476 --> 00:20:01,597
It's a great way to
publicize the new material.

379
00:20:01,598 --> 00:20:03,544
We don't have new material.

380
00:20:03,545 --> 00:20:05,111
What?

381
00:20:05,112 --> 00:20:06,460
Well, you're gonna need some.

382
00:20:06,461 --> 00:20:08,173
Chop, chop.

383
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:09,289
That's one motivating bitch.

384
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:11,335
- Yeah, she's good.
- Mm.

385
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:13,704
- I'm Honey Nutz.
- Shut up.

386
00:20:13,705 --> 00:20:15,164
What was that?

387
00:20:15,165 --> 00:20:18,298
- How did you...
- This job is not that hard, Gretch.

388
00:20:18,299 --> 00:20:20,949
It's just asking for things,
and I'm a really good asker.

389
00:20:21,509 --> 00:20:23,303
Because you have no shame.

390
00:20:23,304 --> 00:20:24,481
Exactly.

391
00:20:26,089 --> 00:20:29,701
Mmm.

392
00:20:33,294 --> 00:20:35,013
Mmm, what's going on with you?

393
00:20:35,014 --> 00:20:36,490
Why do I want to suck your dick?

394
00:20:36,491 --> 00:20:39,453
- Because you're Lindsay?
- No.

395
00:20:39,454 --> 00:20:41,707
Usually, this only
happens when I'm around

396
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:44,368
someone who...

397
00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:46,674
Listen, apparently,
everyone already knows,

398
00:20:46,675 --> 00:20:48,241
and you're gonna find out soon anyway,

399
00:20:48,242 --> 00:20:49,242
- so...
- Jimmy,

400
00:20:49,243 --> 00:20:50,907
here's your dollar back.

401
00:20:50,908 --> 00:20:53,506
I broke your confidentiality.
I told Becca. I'm sorry.

402
00:20:53,507 --> 00:20:55,072
- Told Becca what?
- Finding out

403
00:20:55,073 --> 00:20:56,249
when someone has money

404
00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:58,658
is the Cottumaccio superpower.

405
00:20:58,659 --> 00:21:01,815
Don't worry, I plan on
reporting myself to the FDIC.

406
00:21:01,816 --> 00:21:03,589
Jimmy, what is he sorry for? What money?

407
00:21:03,590 --> 00:21:05,303
Well, that's what I want
to talk to you about.

408
00:21:05,304 --> 00:21:07,739
I knew I wanted to suck
your dick for a reason.

409
00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:09,393
- Vernon?
- Right here, babe.

410
00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:11,395
I'm eating a secondhand cheese sammy.

411
00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:13,745
That's the least that
fink could give us.

412
00:21:13,746 --> 00:21:15,668
What the hell is going on?

413
00:21:15,669 --> 00:21:17,444
Jimmy's about to become
an angel investor

414
00:21:17,445 --> 00:21:19,403
in my surgeries-in-a-food-truck
business.

415
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:20,555
No!

416
00:21:20,556 --> 00:21:22,014
We need out of Lindsay's hovel.

417
00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:23,842
You ruined a perfectly good...

418
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:34,592
Oh, my God!

419
00:21:34,593 --> 00:21:35,744
I'm sorry I didn't tell you.

420
00:21:35,745 --> 00:21:38,951
I was just worried that
it would change things.

421
00:21:39,644 --> 00:21:40,945
Jimmy,

422
00:21:40,946 --> 00:21:43,372
if I cared about money,
I would've married Ty

423
00:21:43,373 --> 00:21:47,431
or Chingy or any of the other
countless rich guys I've banged.

424
00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:50,583
I'm not horny for stuff,
dummy. Never have been.

425
00:21:50,584 --> 00:21:51,696
I'm just a bottomless pit

426
00:21:51,697 --> 00:21:53,872
of need for constant male validation.

427
00:21:53,873 --> 00:21:55,787
- That's comforting.
- And, besides,

428
00:21:55,788 --> 00:21:58,621
you've already given me the
greatest gift in the world.

429
00:21:58,622 --> 00:22:00,729
- My love.
- You ate your come.

430
00:22:00,730 --> 00:22:04,622
Because I told you it
was important to me.

431
00:22:04,623 --> 00:22:06,885
And then you did it a second
time for some reason.

432
00:22:06,886 --> 00:22:09,627
- Stop.
- Well, you must've really liked it.

433
00:22:09,628 --> 00:22:11,237
No, I... no, I didn't like it!

434
00:22:11,238 --> 00:22:12,980
Then why'd you gobble it all up?

435
00:22:12,981 --> 00:22:16,721
I was making sure it tasted
as weird as I thought it did.

436
00:22:18,005 --> 00:22:19,550
Aw...

437
00:22:37,097 --> 00:22:38,873
Jimmy, we've all been talking,

438
00:22:38,874 --> 00:22:41,095
and we're sorry we all
bum-rushed you for help.

439
00:22:41,096 --> 00:22:42,224
That wasn't fair.

440
00:22:42,225 --> 00:22:44,531
What's fair is giving each of us $10,000

441
00:22:44,532 --> 00:22:46,290
and calling it even.

442
00:22:46,291 --> 00:22:48,863
Just get your checkbook and
let's end the madness.

443
00:22:49,336 --> 00:22:50,763
The money's gone.

444
00:22:50,764 --> 00:22:53,061
What did she do with it?
What did you do with it?

445
00:22:53,062 --> 00:22:55,324
She didn't do anything. I did.

446
00:22:55,325 --> 00:22:57,783
I just paid off my mortgage.

447
00:23:01,579 --> 00:23:02,745
He did.

448
00:23:03,325 --> 00:23:06,679
I no longer wish to suck the
dick for money reasons.

449
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,816
Ever since you got that check,

450
00:23:08,817 --> 00:23:10,949
you just think you're so superior, huh?

451
00:23:10,950 --> 00:23:13,342
I've always thought I was superior.

452
00:23:13,343 --> 00:23:15,192
Now, if you could all please leave.

453
00:23:15,193 --> 00:23:17,172
What if I told you guys about
a business opportunity

454
00:23:17,173 --> 00:23:19,258
where people could get
outpatient medical care

455
00:23:19,259 --> 00:23:20,915
in a Korean food truck?

456
00:23:20,916 --> 00:23:22,505
I'm listening.

457
00:23:24,507 --> 00:23:25,920
You paid off the house?

458
00:23:25,921 --> 00:23:27,513
I did.

459
00:23:27,514 --> 00:23:29,512
For our future.

460
00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:34,755
Now, let's christen this bitch.

461
00:23:39,217 --> 00:23:41,196
Where is my car?

462
00:23:41,197 --> 00:23:44,504
How dare they leave someone
with full-blown polio.

463
00:23:44,505 --> 00:23:46,506
I canceled your Lyft.

464
00:23:46,507 --> 00:23:49,593
Jimmy,

465
00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:53,949
please tell me you did not
fix my hunk of shit car.

466
00:23:53,950 --> 00:23:56,321
A possum just gave birth
in the engine block.

467
00:24:02,131 --> 00:24:06,191
Oh! I have always wanted a big ribbon!

468
00:24:06,192 --> 00:24:08,572
Jimmy!

469
00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:10,342
A new car.

470
00:24:10,343 --> 00:24:12,335
A forever house.

471
00:24:13,148 --> 00:24:16,362
Don't look now, but I think we
might be turning into grown-ups.

472
00:24:22,608 --> 00:24:23,827
Pancakes?

473
00:24:23,828 --> 00:24:25,938
Let's do it!

474
00:24:42,902 --> 00:24:47,197
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com