1
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_

2
00:00:03,945 --> 00:00:05,351
A fossil is formed

3
00:00:05,354 --> 00:00:07,490
when an organism, preserved in sediment,

4
00:00:07,493 --> 00:00:08,959
undergoes physical compression

5
00:00:08,961 --> 00:00:10,762
over millions of years.

6
00:00:10,765 --> 00:00:13,330
Less than one ten-thousandth percent

7
00:00:13,332 --> 00:00:15,653
of living organisms will become fossils.

8
00:00:15,656 --> 00:00:17,134
Isn't it amazing

9
00:00:17,136 --> 00:00:20,371
that something so fragile
can defy those odds,

10
00:00:20,373 --> 00:00:22,306
only to have this happen to it...

11
00:00:23,476 --> 00:00:25,943
I don't think you did that right.

12
00:00:25,945 --> 00:00:28,211
All right, everyone,

13
00:00:28,214 --> 00:00:30,648
we'll pick it up here
tomorrow. I-If we're lucky,

14
00:00:30,650 --> 00:00:33,593
we may find a fossil as
old as lunch lady Phyllis.

15
00:00:34,919 --> 00:00:37,593
You people don't know what's funny.

16
00:00:37,596 --> 00:00:39,922
Cooper!

17
00:00:39,925 --> 00:00:44,328
Will you put these away for me?

18
00:00:44,330 --> 00:00:46,230
Sure.

19
00:00:46,232 --> 00:00:48,198
You better watch yourself.

20
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,156
I will, I-I really will.

21
00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,351
'Cause you know what's
gonna happen if you don't.

22
00:00:57,810 --> 00:00:59,410
Who was that?

23
00:00:59,412 --> 00:01:00,611
No one.

24
00:01:00,613 --> 00:01:02,513
Why did he push you?

25
00:01:02,515 --> 00:01:03,947
None of your business.

26
00:01:03,949 --> 00:01:05,883
But that was a clear violation

27
00:01:05,885 --> 00:01:07,451
of the student code of conduct.

28
00:01:07,453 --> 00:01:08,852
We need to tell on him.

29
00:01:08,854 --> 00:01:11,321
We're not telling on
anyone, stay out of it.

30
00:01:11,323 --> 00:01:12,778
But the student code of conduct...

31
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:15,025
Drop it.

32
00:01:15,027 --> 00:01:17,728
So I did drop it...

33
00:01:19,448 --> 00:01:21,075
...for six whole minutes.

34
00:01:21,078 --> 00:01:22,499
Excuse me, sir.

35
00:01:22,501 --> 00:01:24,635
When you're done urinating,
I'd like to ask you

36
00:01:24,637 --> 00:01:28,138
some questions about social
dynamics, intimidation,

37
00:01:28,140 --> 00:01:29,873
threats, et cetera.

38
00:01:31,243 --> 00:01:34,445
Finish up, no hurry.

39
00:01:45,554 --> 00:01:49,393
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

40
00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:55,099
What is your problem?

41
00:01:55,101 --> 00:01:56,633
Oh, I don't have a problem.

42
00:01:56,635 --> 00:01:58,902
You should probably wash your hands.

43
00:02:00,473 --> 00:02:02,812
I just witnessed an altercation

44
00:02:02,815 --> 00:02:04,675
between you and Georgie Cooper.

45
00:02:04,677 --> 00:02:06,143
Altercation?

46
00:02:06,145 --> 00:02:09,012
A confrontation, a tussle. Anyway,

47
00:02:09,014 --> 00:02:10,814
I'd just like to gather more information

48
00:02:10,816 --> 00:02:12,750
for sociological purposes.

49
00:02:12,752 --> 00:02:16,653
Oh, I heard about you,
you're that smart kid.

50
00:02:16,655 --> 00:02:20,190
I'd like to be humble in this
moment, but yes, that's me.

51
00:02:20,192 --> 00:02:22,025
Sheldon Cooper, at your service.

52
00:02:22,027 --> 00:02:25,500
- So Georgie's your brother?
- Correct.

53
00:02:25,503 --> 00:02:27,931
And you're trying to protect him?

54
00:02:27,933 --> 00:02:31,969
Incorrect. I'm just curious
what he did to incur your wrath.

55
00:02:31,971 --> 00:02:33,871
Also, kudos on the hand washing.

56
00:02:33,873 --> 00:02:36,039
Your brother's a punk.

57
00:02:36,041 --> 00:02:38,609
I'm not familiar with that terminology.

58
00:02:38,611 --> 00:02:40,878
He tried to hit on my girlfriend.

59
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:44,414
Interesting. So he
openly pursued your mate,

60
00:02:44,416 --> 00:02:45,849
and to re-assert dominance,

61
00:02:45,851 --> 00:02:47,951
you threatened him
with physical violence.

62
00:02:47,953 --> 00:02:49,787
Hell yeah, I did.

63
00:02:49,789 --> 00:02:51,421
I understand that.

64
00:02:51,423 --> 00:02:54,324
I often intimidate people
with my intelligence.

65
00:02:59,165 --> 00:03:01,865
Well, one of us scared him.

66
00:03:03,602 --> 00:03:06,069
All right.

67
00:03:06,071 --> 00:03:09,239
Next. Missy Cooper.

68
00:03:11,510 --> 00:03:14,178
Just a heads-up, this is my good side.

69
00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:16,547
Okay...

70
00:03:16,549 --> 00:03:19,349
Do your parents know
you're wearing that makeup?

71
00:03:19,351 --> 00:03:21,084
Oh, yeah, my mom knows.

72
00:03:21,086 --> 00:03:24,988
You sure? Because
typically it's not allowed.

73
00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:27,357
If you don't believe
me, you can ask her.

74
00:03:27,359 --> 00:03:30,527
Okay, we're gonna give her a call.

75
00:03:32,631 --> 00:03:34,464
Really?

76
00:03:34,466 --> 00:03:37,467
Good news, I just
spoke to Tommy Clarkson.

77
00:03:37,469 --> 00:03:39,570
What? Are you crazy?

78
00:03:39,572 --> 00:03:41,138
Nope, Mom had me tested.

79
00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:43,373
And Tommy's actually
nicer than you think.

80
00:03:43,375 --> 00:03:45,008
I told you to stay out of it.

81
00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:46,710
True, but what you didn't tell me

82
00:03:46,712 --> 00:03:48,979
was that you were overly
chummy with his girlfriend,

83
00:03:48,981 --> 00:03:50,848
which is why he wants
to kick your bottom.

84
00:03:50,850 --> 00:03:53,016
I'm about to kick your bottom.

85
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,487
I don't think so.

86
00:03:57,489 --> 00:03:58,755
H-Hey, Tommy.

87
00:03:58,757 --> 00:04:00,757
How you doing?

88
00:04:00,759 --> 00:04:04,895
You got a problem with him,
you got a problem with me.

89
00:04:04,897 --> 00:04:06,897
And just to make his logic clear,

90
00:04:06,899 --> 00:04:08,665
you do have a problem with me.

91
00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:10,500
Don't listen to my brother, I don't have

92
00:04:10,502 --> 00:04:11,702
a problem with anybody.

93
00:04:11,704 --> 00:04:13,770
You need to apologize.

94
00:04:13,772 --> 00:04:15,305
I-I'm very sorry.

95
00:04:15,307 --> 00:04:16,773
To him.

96
00:04:16,775 --> 00:04:18,351
I'm very sorry, Sheldon.

97
00:04:21,513 --> 00:04:23,213
Later, kid.

98
00:04:24,383 --> 00:04:26,583
See? He's nice.

99
00:04:36,311 --> 00:04:38,278
What were you even thinking?

100
00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,580
I was thinking I look hot.

101
00:04:40,582 --> 00:04:42,749
You know you're not
allowed to wear makeup.

102
00:04:42,751 --> 00:04:44,484
That's why I didn't tell you.

103
00:04:44,486 --> 00:04:47,120
And who gave it to you?
Heather B.? Heather M.?

104
00:04:47,122 --> 00:04:48,655
Meemaw.

105
00:04:48,657 --> 00:04:51,224
So your grandmother was okay
with you looking like this

106
00:04:51,226 --> 00:04:52,489
in your school pictures?

107
00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:54,394
If you don't believe me, ask her.

108
00:04:54,396 --> 00:04:56,496
Oh, I'm going to.

109
00:04:56,498 --> 00:04:59,315
Really?

110
00:04:59,318 --> 00:05:00,901
These are the plaintiffs,

111
00:05:00,903 --> 00:05:02,659
Valerie and Anthony Sines.

112
00:05:02,662 --> 00:05:04,856
Valerie claims she was
sitting on the front steps

113
00:05:04,859 --> 00:05:07,140
of her condo with her cat Scampi,

114
00:05:07,142 --> 00:05:10,343
and that's when his dog went
after Scampi, injuring her.

115
00:05:10,345 --> 00:05:13,146
- What are you watching?
- Go away.

116
00:05:13,148 --> 00:05:14,948
Are you angry with me?

117
00:05:14,950 --> 00:05:16,783
I don't want to see your face right now.

118
00:05:16,785 --> 00:05:20,520
Very well, but I'd like
to watch Professor Proton.

119
00:05:20,522 --> 00:05:22,522
Did you hear me? Go away.

120
00:05:22,524 --> 00:05:24,385
Well, did you hear me?

121
00:05:24,388 --> 00:05:26,426
I'd like to watch Professor Proton.

122
00:05:26,428 --> 00:05:29,396
- Too bad.
- Interesting.

123
00:05:29,398 --> 00:05:31,564
I wonder how my new
friend Tommy Clarkson

124
00:05:31,566 --> 00:05:32,899
would feel about this.

125
00:05:32,901 --> 00:05:34,601
Well, he's not here, is he?

126
00:05:34,603 --> 00:05:37,170
No, he's not.

127
00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:39,806
I guess I'll just have to call him.

128
00:05:39,808 --> 00:05:41,441
You're kidding.

129
00:05:41,443 --> 00:05:43,343
...the case of

130
00:05:43,345 --> 00:05:44,799
a taste of Scampi

131
00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:46,679
after these messages.

132
00:05:46,682 --> 00:05:49,282
Are you going to put
on Professor Proton?

133
00:05:49,284 --> 00:05:50,383
No.

134
00:05:50,385 --> 00:05:52,185
Hmm.

135
00:06:00,562 --> 00:06:02,929
Okay, okay.

136
00:06:04,299 --> 00:06:06,733
Thank you.

137
00:06:09,037 --> 00:06:11,166
I didn't hear a "you're welcome."

138
00:06:11,169 --> 00:06:12,535
Shut up!

139
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,307
We'll work on that.

140
00:06:14,309 --> 00:06:16,743
It's time for science!

141
00:06:16,745 --> 00:06:18,912
Hello.

142
00:06:18,914 --> 00:06:21,681
Well, don't you look like Madonna?

143
00:06:21,683 --> 00:06:23,016
Thank you.

144
00:06:23,018 --> 00:06:24,684
I was actually trying to look like you.

145
00:06:24,686 --> 00:06:26,519
Thank you.

146
00:06:26,521 --> 00:06:29,089
Why would you give her makeup
without talking to me first?

147
00:06:29,091 --> 00:06:30,657
I didn't give her any makeup.

148
00:06:30,659 --> 00:06:33,111
Well, then, one of you is lying.

149
00:06:33,114 --> 00:06:34,227
- She is
- She is.

150
00:06:34,229 --> 00:06:36,062
Time to come clean little lady.

151
00:06:36,064 --> 00:06:37,697
I ain't taking the hit on this one.

152
00:06:37,699 --> 00:06:41,334
I took the makeup from Meemaw's bag.

153
00:06:41,336 --> 00:06:44,504
Oh, Missy, you are
in a world of trouble.

154
00:06:44,506 --> 00:06:46,658
Calm down, it's not that big a deal.

155
00:06:46,661 --> 00:06:48,240
It is so a big deal!

156
00:06:48,243 --> 00:06:50,960
She stole from you, and
then she lied about it.

157
00:06:50,963 --> 00:06:53,313
I know, but come on, she's only ten.

158
00:06:53,315 --> 00:06:56,249
She's gonna do way stupider
stuff when she's older.

159
00:06:56,251 --> 00:06:57,417
Guaranteed.

160
00:06:57,419 --> 00:06:58,651
I don't care.

161
00:06:58,653 --> 00:07:01,229
She is my daughter and
you will be punished.

162
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,523
Sorry, kid.

163
00:07:04,526 --> 00:07:06,893
I wish I was your daughter.

164
00:07:08,964 --> 00:07:10,430
Is that so?

165
00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:13,266
Well, guess what?

166
00:07:13,268 --> 00:07:14,634
You're sleeping here tonight

167
00:07:14,636 --> 00:07:16,970
because I don't feel like
being around either one of you.

168
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,373
Great!

169
00:07:20,375 --> 00:07:23,476
Yeah, great.

170
00:07:29,818 --> 00:07:32,385
Georgie, be a lamb and get me a Yoo-hoo.

171
00:07:32,387 --> 00:07:33,853
Get your own.

172
00:07:33,855 --> 00:07:36,721
Hmm. Are you sure you
want to speak to me

173
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:38,391
in that tone of voice?

174
00:07:38,393 --> 00:07:41,261
Sheldon, I'm getting real tired of this.

175
00:07:41,263 --> 00:07:43,663
That's too bad. I'm
enjoying it quite a bit.

176
00:07:44,833 --> 00:07:46,766
Still waiting on that Yoo-hoo.

177
00:07:46,768 --> 00:07:48,201
You think you're so tough now,

178
00:07:48,203 --> 00:07:49,836
- I swear, one day I'm...
- Hey.

179
00:07:49,838 --> 00:07:51,004
What's going on?

180
00:07:51,006 --> 00:07:52,405
Sheldon's being a jerk.

181
00:07:52,407 --> 00:07:53,773
That true?

182
00:07:53,775 --> 00:07:55,971
All I did was ask for a Yoo-hoo.

183
00:07:55,974 --> 00:07:57,577
He's leaving out the part where he...

184
00:07:59,114 --> 00:08:02,215
Forget it.

185
00:08:02,217 --> 00:08:04,717
Great. Done.

186
00:08:04,719 --> 00:08:06,219
Georgie,

187
00:08:06,221 --> 00:08:09,756
at the risk of repeating myself...

188
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:15,028
And one from the back, so it's cold.

189
00:08:23,038 --> 00:08:26,252
So when, exactly, did
you swipe my makeup?

190
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:27,640
While you were at bowling league.

191
00:08:27,642 --> 00:08:29,609
You don't have a key to this house.

192
00:08:29,611 --> 00:08:30,610
How'd you get in?

193
00:08:30,612 --> 00:08:31,678
Can't tell you that.

194
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:32,979
I might need to do it again.

195
00:08:32,981 --> 00:08:35,482
Unbelievable.

196
00:08:35,484 --> 00:08:38,898
And for future reference,
go lighter on the blush,

197
00:08:38,901 --> 00:08:40,999
or you'll end up
looking like Raggedy Ann.

198
00:08:41,002 --> 00:08:44,090
She got Raggedy Andy looking like that.

199
00:08:44,092 --> 00:08:46,926
- He's her brother.
- Oh.

200
00:08:46,928 --> 00:08:49,182
I've been playing with
those dolls all wrong.

201
00:08:49,185 --> 00:08:51,619
All right, that'll do it.

202
00:08:53,201 --> 00:08:55,635
How old was Mom when
you let her wear makeup?

203
00:08:55,637 --> 00:08:58,738
I don't know, I didn't
really have rules like that.

204
00:08:58,740 --> 00:09:02,175
See? How come you're so
cool and she's such a dud?

205
00:09:02,177 --> 00:09:04,043
Well, I wouldn't call her a dud.

206
00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:05,311
What would you call her?

207
00:09:05,313 --> 00:09:08,014
Point is, she wasn't always like that.

208
00:09:08,016 --> 00:09:09,315
What was she like?

209
00:09:09,317 --> 00:09:13,653
When she was a teenager,
she was just wild.

210
00:09:13,655 --> 00:09:15,655
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

211
00:09:15,657 --> 00:09:17,524
She used to wait until I went to sleep

212
00:09:17,526 --> 00:09:18,958
and then she would sneak out

213
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,660
and get into trouble with her friends.

214
00:09:20,662 --> 00:09:22,890
- My mom?
- Your mom.

215
00:09:22,893 --> 00:09:25,532
And then she would climb up the tree

216
00:09:25,534 --> 00:09:28,038
on the side of the
house and sneak back in.

217
00:09:28,041 --> 00:09:29,836
Amazing.

218
00:09:29,838 --> 00:09:31,938
Is that how you're getting in?

219
00:09:31,940 --> 00:09:34,307
I will never tell you that.

220
00:09:43,919 --> 00:09:45,919
Everything okay?

221
00:09:45,921 --> 00:09:49,856
I'm getting tired of being
the bad guy around here.

222
00:09:49,858 --> 00:09:51,962
You're not the bad guy.

223
00:09:51,965 --> 00:09:53,632
Kids need boundaries.

224
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:56,819
That is easy for you to say.
I am the only one doing it,

225
00:09:56,822 --> 00:09:58,698
and then everyone resents me for it.

226
00:09:58,701 --> 00:10:00,523
Hey, you're not the only one.

227
00:10:00,526 --> 00:10:02,476
Just today, Georgie and
Sheldon were fighting,

228
00:10:02,479 --> 00:10:04,304
and I totally took care of it.

229
00:10:04,306 --> 00:10:06,239
Really? What was going on?

230
00:10:06,241 --> 00:10:09,509
They... you know, boy stuff.

231
00:10:09,511 --> 00:10:10,743
I...

232
00:10:10,745 --> 00:10:13,746
Don't worry. I got your back.

233
00:10:13,748 --> 00:10:17,183
Thank you. That means a lot.

234
00:10:17,185 --> 00:10:19,118
Teamwork, babe.

235
00:10:20,889 --> 00:10:24,357
Look, right...

236
00:10:24,359 --> 00:10:26,526
here.

237
00:10:26,528 --> 00:10:28,761
That's my mom?

238
00:10:28,763 --> 00:10:33,007
Yep, the little queen of darkness.

239
00:10:33,010 --> 00:10:35,535
Is she smoking a cigarette?

240
00:10:35,537 --> 00:10:38,905
Yep. Probably stole it from me.

241
00:10:38,907 --> 00:10:40,907
When did she stop being cool?

242
00:10:40,909 --> 00:10:43,643
Well, first of all, smoking is not cool.

243
00:10:43,645 --> 00:10:45,612
- You do it.
- Yeah, well, next time

244
00:10:45,614 --> 00:10:47,747
I'm hocking up some
black goo out of my lung,

245
00:10:47,749 --> 00:10:50,083
I'll call you over and
you can see how cool it is.

246
00:10:50,085 --> 00:10:52,719
- Awesome.
- It is not awesome.

247
00:10:52,721 --> 00:10:55,171
And as far as your mom,
I think things started

248
00:10:55,174 --> 00:10:58,057
to turn around for her
when she gave birth to you.

249
00:10:58,059 --> 00:10:59,926
You mean me and Sheldon.

250
00:10:59,928 --> 00:11:01,694
No, I mean you.

251
00:11:01,696 --> 00:11:05,131
I mean, Sheldon was born fine,
but you were a different story.

252
00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:06,466
Why?

253
00:11:06,468 --> 00:11:08,468
Okay.

254
00:11:08,470 --> 00:11:13,373
Well, there was a point
where the doctors didn't know

255
00:11:13,375 --> 00:11:15,074
if you were gonna make it.

256
00:11:15,076 --> 00:11:18,960
And your mom got so scared,
and she made a promise to God

257
00:11:18,963 --> 00:11:22,807
that if you were okay,
that she would start reading

258
00:11:22,810 --> 00:11:25,852
the Bible, going to church...

259
00:11:25,854 --> 00:11:28,254
you know, that kind of stuff.

260
00:11:28,256 --> 00:11:30,456
So I'm the reason she's a dud?

261
00:11:30,458 --> 00:11:32,476
Your takeaway should be

262
00:11:32,479 --> 00:11:36,455
that you are the reason she's
such a good mom, which she is.

263
00:11:36,458 --> 00:11:38,047
And the next time you
hurt her feelings...

264
00:11:38,049 --> 00:11:39,832
Which you will...

265
00:11:39,835 --> 00:11:43,871
You might remember how
much you mean to her.

266
00:11:46,074 --> 00:11:48,174
Now I feel bad.

267
00:11:51,212 --> 00:11:53,146
Good.

268
00:11:55,654 --> 00:11:58,155
News of my friendship with Tommy

269
00:11:58,158 --> 00:11:59,519
had apparently spread.

270
00:11:59,521 --> 00:12:02,515
So much so, the student body was finally

271
00:12:02,518 --> 00:12:05,825
treating me with the respect I deserved,

272
00:12:05,827 --> 00:12:07,963
even when Tommy wasn't around.

273
00:12:11,633 --> 00:12:13,635
This must be how Carl Sagan felt,

274
00:12:13,638 --> 00:12:15,835
walking through the halls of PBS.

275
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,160
Like Superman in a phone booth,

276
00:12:24,162 --> 00:12:27,302
I was no stranger to
undressing in my gym locker.

277
00:12:27,305 --> 00:12:28,965
But not today.

278
00:12:28,967 --> 00:12:32,001
Thanks to Tommy, I was invincible.

279
00:12:33,815 --> 00:12:35,982
All right, get your
butts out to the gym.

280
00:12:35,985 --> 00:12:37,807
Wind sprints in one minute.

281
00:12:43,481 --> 00:12:45,281
Come on, Jason, I'm gonna be late.

282
00:12:45,283 --> 00:12:46,482
Poor baby.

283
00:12:50,235 --> 00:12:52,269
Excuse me.

284
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,771
I'd like to ask you some questions

285
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:56,859
about your use of intimidation
to dominate others.

286
00:13:01,399 --> 00:13:03,833
Are you trying to get your ass kicked?

287
00:13:03,835 --> 00:13:07,704
No, I was just looking to
open a spirited dialogue.

288
00:13:07,706 --> 00:13:09,614
And you might want to unhand me.

289
00:13:09,617 --> 00:13:11,708
I'm friends with Tommy Clarkson.

290
00:13:11,710 --> 00:13:12,909
Is that so?

291
00:13:12,911 --> 00:13:14,210
Yes.

292
00:13:15,747 --> 00:13:17,146
Hello, Tommy.

293
00:13:17,148 --> 00:13:18,915
I have some unfortunate news.

294
00:13:18,917 --> 00:13:20,583
- What's that?
- I boasted

295
00:13:20,585 --> 00:13:22,352
to Jason Davies that you're my friend,

296
00:13:22,354 --> 00:13:24,220
and things took an unexpected turn.

297
00:13:24,223 --> 00:13:26,177
You're scheduled to
fight him at 3:00 p.m.

298
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,490
on the basketball court.

299
00:13:28,693 --> 00:13:31,027
I don't want to fight Jason Davies.

300
00:13:31,029 --> 00:13:33,830
I don't think you have a
choice. He was pretty adamant.

301
00:13:34,933 --> 00:13:37,367
Fine, I'll deal with it.

302
00:13:37,369 --> 00:13:40,003
You do have the option
of simply not showing up.

303
00:13:40,005 --> 00:13:42,418
That's not how fights work, Sheldon.

304
00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:45,089
Why? Do they take attendance?

305
00:13:54,019 --> 00:13:56,853
What on Earth did you say to Missy?

306
00:13:56,855 --> 00:13:59,288
- Why? What'd she do now?
- Nothing,

307
00:13:59,290 --> 00:14:00,623
she was an angel.

308
00:14:00,625 --> 00:14:02,060
I dropped her off at school,

309
00:14:02,063 --> 00:14:04,627
and she hugged me in
front of her friends.

310
00:14:04,629 --> 00:14:06,841
- Really?
- And not just any friends.

311
00:14:06,844 --> 00:14:10,133
Heather M. was there,
and that is a big deal.

312
00:14:10,135 --> 00:14:12,435
I just gave her a little life advice.

313
00:14:12,437 --> 00:14:13,870
Like what?

314
00:14:13,872 --> 00:14:16,806
Nothing, just grandma stuff.

315
00:14:16,808 --> 00:14:21,577
There you go again, being the good guy.

316
00:14:21,579 --> 00:14:24,414
Mary, you need to know

317
00:14:24,416 --> 00:14:27,617
you're doing a fantastic
job with those kids.

318
00:14:27,619 --> 00:14:30,053
You really mean that?

319
00:14:30,055 --> 00:14:32,789
- I really do.
- Thanks.

320
00:14:32,791 --> 00:14:37,427
I can't remember the last time
someone said I was a good mom.

321
00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:42,132
It's not a job that gets
a lot of compliments.

322
00:14:47,072 --> 00:14:50,474
Look at this, my mother left me a note.

323
00:14:50,477 --> 00:14:53,776
"You can do better. Mom."

324
00:14:53,778 --> 00:14:56,479
Not "Love, Mom," not "XO, Mom,"

325
00:14:56,481 --> 00:14:57,961
just "Mom."

326
00:14:57,964 --> 00:14:59,481
While Tam prattled on

327
00:14:59,484 --> 00:15:01,200
about some family nonsense,

328
00:15:01,203 --> 00:15:03,138
I couldn't help but think about Tommy.

329
00:15:03,141 --> 00:15:06,778
At 3:00 pm, he was going to
engage in a schoolyard battle

330
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:08,691
that was entirely my fault.

331
00:15:08,693 --> 00:15:11,802
I had to find a way
to intervene, but how?

332
00:15:11,805 --> 00:15:13,528
Ooh, a Nutter Butter.

333
00:15:13,531 --> 00:15:15,091
Maybe she does love me.

334
00:15:17,922 --> 00:15:20,636
Face-punching time!

335
00:15:20,638 --> 00:15:21,804
Jason, let's do it!

336
00:15:21,806 --> 00:15:24,122
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

337
00:15:24,125 --> 00:15:25,475
Fight! Fight!

338
00:15:27,339 --> 00:15:28,845
Come on, Jason. Kick his ass.

339
00:15:35,216 --> 00:15:37,677
I didn't have the
physical stature to assist

340
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,435
Tommy in a brawl, but
I did have something

341
00:15:40,438 --> 00:15:42,158
far more lethal:

342
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,761
my once in a generation brain.

343
00:15:46,594 --> 00:15:49,432
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

344
00:15:56,207 --> 00:15:58,841
I didn't think you'd show up.

345
00:15:58,843 --> 00:16:01,577
Well, I did.

346
00:16:01,579 --> 00:16:03,646
Let's do this.

347
00:16:03,648 --> 00:16:05,414
Stop!

348
00:16:07,552 --> 00:16:10,686
You're not fighting
Tommy, you're fighting me.

349
00:16:12,023 --> 00:16:13,256
Oh, boy.

350
00:16:13,258 --> 00:16:14,778
Unless you want to shake hands

351
00:16:14,781 --> 00:16:18,161
and we all laugh about
this over a glass of milk.

352
00:16:18,163 --> 00:16:20,830
I think I'd rather kick both your asses.

353
00:16:20,832 --> 00:16:22,932
I was afraid you'd say that.

354
00:16:22,934 --> 00:16:25,364
Are you familiar with the story

355
00:16:25,367 --> 00:16:27,503
of David and Goliath from the Bible?

356
00:16:27,505 --> 00:16:28,838
Yeah.

357
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,673
That's too bad.

358
00:16:30,675 --> 00:16:32,775
I had a nice speech prepared.

359
00:16:33,845 --> 00:16:35,678
I'll say it anyway.

360
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,247
You may have the size advantage,

361
00:16:38,249 --> 00:16:40,049
but like David and his sling,

362
00:16:40,058 --> 00:16:43,126
I also possess an air-based weapon.

363
00:16:45,924 --> 00:16:47,957
So I'll give you one more chance.

364
00:16:47,959 --> 00:16:49,926
Are you willing to step down?

365
00:16:51,129 --> 00:16:53,129
I'll tell you what:

366
00:16:53,131 --> 00:16:57,200
you take the first
shot, then it's my turn.

367
00:16:57,202 --> 00:16:59,302
Very well.

368
00:17:00,972 --> 00:17:02,138
Three...

369
00:17:03,374 --> 00:17:04,807
...two...

370
00:17:07,278 --> 00:17:09,345
...one.

371
00:17:16,187 --> 00:17:20,389
Ow! Son of a bitch!

372
00:17:27,622 --> 00:17:29,388
I'm going to run.

373
00:17:34,626 --> 00:17:36,626
Conventional wisdom tells us

374
00:17:36,629 --> 00:17:39,399
that when one stands
up to a bully, the bully

375
00:17:39,402 --> 00:17:42,827
will inevitably back down and
respect you for your courage.

376
00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:44,963
My experience suggests otherwise.

377
00:17:44,966 --> 00:17:47,914
Hello? Hello?

378
00:17:47,917 --> 00:17:49,668
When Jason finally caught me,

379
00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:52,604
he had the good sense not to
commit assault and battery.

380
00:17:52,606 --> 00:17:54,173
This did not, however, prevent him

381
00:17:54,175 --> 00:17:56,275
from imprisoning me in his locker.

382
00:17:56,277 --> 00:17:58,944
Anybody?

383
00:17:58,946 --> 00:18:00,879
That was a very long night.

384
00:18:00,881 --> 00:18:03,115
It doesn't smell good in here.

385
00:18:03,118 --> 00:18:04,217
Very long.

386
00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:09,274
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