1 00:00:02,937 --> 00:00:06,205 "Battle." "Fight." 2 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:10,009 "Win." "Lose." 3 00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,677 These are the words we use 4 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:15,247 when someone is diagnosed with an illness or a disease. 5 00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:20,052 * No wind, no rain * 6 00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:23,655 * Or winter's cold * 7 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,859 * Can stop me, baby * 8 00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:29,228 * Oh, baby * 9 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:32,431 * If you're my goal * 10 00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:36,568 * Ah, ah, ah, ah * 11 00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:38,771 We use militarized language 12 00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:40,773 that implies it's a fair fight. 13 00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,947 God grant me the serenity 14 00:00:48,983 --> 00:00:51,950 to accept the things I cannot change, 15 00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:55,054 the courage to change the things I can, 16 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,456 and the wisdom to know the difference. 17 00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,258 But when it comes to life and death, 18 00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:01,960 what does winning really look like? 19 00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:03,562 Is a person a loser for dying 20 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,964 when the outcome isn't really in their control... 21 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,766 Oh. Damn it. 22 00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:09,368 If any patients see you like that, 23 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,236 they might go to another hospital. 24 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:12,337 Always gets me in the mood. 25 00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:13,939 Plus, you know, I'm seeing what daylight feels like 26 00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:14,973 while I still can. 27 00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:15,941 How's Catherine? 28 00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:17,643 She's ready. 29 00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:18,877 And you? Shh, shh, shh, shh. 30 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,281 Ah. 31 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,883 Funny bone. Not as easy as it looks. 32 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,054 Okay, then. I have real patients, 33 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,757 so, you know, good luck with... all this. 34 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,662 I'm messing with you. 35 00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:39,631 You're gonna do great. You and Amelia. 36 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,834 You're ready. 37 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:42,968 Charley horse. 38 00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:52,444 There he is. Thought you might need this. 39 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,646 Oh. No, thanks. But I'm... I'm good. 40 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:56,849 I'm running late for Catherine's scans. 41 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,984 Okay, well, I have cleared all my surgeries today 42 00:01:59,019 --> 00:01:59,852 and shored up child care, 43 00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:00,819 so I'm here for you, whatever you need, 44 00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:02,855 - whenever you need it. - Like I said, I'm good. 45 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:06,091 Okay, Richard, it's gonna be a very long day. 46 00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:09,661 Look, Meredith, I have plenty of doctors 47 00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,196 and plenty of friends looking out for me. 48 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:14,099 You know who doesn't? Your father. 49 00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:17,269 Molly had to get back to Bahrain with her kids. 50 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,871 He's all alone. 51 00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,873 And I will make time to see Thatcher this week, 52 00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,941 but today is all about you and Catherine. 53 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:24,343 Meredith, Thatcher may not have a week. 54 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:28,347 Now, I know it's never been easy between you two, 55 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,549 but the time to change that is running out. 56 00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:33,952 Excuse me. 57 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:45,728 www.subtitulamos.tv 58 00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:49,968 Oh, I'm sorry I missed your scan. 59 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:53,172 Oh, please. I went in. I came out. 60 00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:54,540 Same as the first million times. 61 00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,308 Well, I could have been there for you. 62 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,143 You had a good excuse. 63 00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:01,046 There's my girl! 64 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:04,249 There's my girl! 65 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:05,817 Let me get her for you. Relax. 66 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:07,753 Do you want to go to Grandma? 67 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:10,756 Say, "Hi, Grandma." "Hi, Grandma." 68 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,758 Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 69 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,760 Did Koracick re-check the CT angio? 70 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,762 Yes, and please stop. 71 00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,764 I appreciate both of you wanting to be a part of this, 72 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,166 but I have a crackerjack neuro team. 73 00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:23,402 I need you to be my husband and my son today. 74 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:27,039 And we need you to be our patient. 75 00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:29,208 Hmm, Thomas, you're getting ready to cut open my spine. 76 00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,109 I will be whatever I want. 77 00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:32,911 Oh. Music to my ears. 78 00:03:32,947 --> 00:03:35,414 Now, we will go in posteriorly 79 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:36,281 with our stealth system 80 00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,917 and our newly pilfered ORBEYE scope. 81 00:03:38,953 --> 00:03:42,554 The plan is to go in and remove it en bloc. 82 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:43,956 And you really think that posteriorly 83 00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,057 is the way to go? 84 00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:47,292 Oh, it is fun to have so many surgeons in one family. 85 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,393 Remind me, Avery... 86 00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:51,029 when did you become double board certified in neuro? 87 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,598 That's really how you talk to your patient's family? 88 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:53,699 It is, actually. 89 00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:58,136 We need to go in posteriorly 90 00:03:58,172 --> 00:04:00,138 to avoid the carotid and the jugular, 91 00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:03,242 and to avoid having to weave through the brachial plexus. 92 00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,210 Look, I know how hard it is to be on the bench, 93 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,045 but we are the A-Team. And we don't lose. 94 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:10,048 Just ask Shepherd's tumor. Oh, wait, you can't. 95 00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,084 Because I removed it. Flawlessly. 96 00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,553 Okay, any last questions? 97 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,155 Um... it looks like you've got this. 98 00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:18,624 We do. 99 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,627 Mm-hmm. 100 00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:22,995 I'm good. 101 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:25,998 But, you know, I-I um... 102 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:30,402 I think I'd like to just take a little walk 103 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,104 before we get started. 104 00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:34,640 I'd be happy to... Oh, no, honey. 105 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:37,242 I want to go alone. 106 00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,844 Okay, then, but no guarantees 107 00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,245 I won't watch you walk away. 108 00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:41,847 You always do. 109 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,151 Hi. I'm... 110 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,519 Meredith? 111 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:21,820 Yeah. 112 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:22,587 I'm sorry. 113 00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:25,123 You look just like your picture. 114 00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:27,292 You're the surgeon, right? 115 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,127 Yeah. 116 00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:33,332 Uh, do you want to come in? 117 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:36,068 That's a loaded question. 118 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:47,079 I'm not sure if he's awake. 119 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:48,480 He sleeps more and more these days 120 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,881 as you can imagine. 121 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,084 Uh, can I get you something? 122 00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,252 Water? Gin, maybe? 123 00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:59,224 All right. 124 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:02,494 Thatcher? You have a visitor. 125 00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,938 Meredith! 126 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,274 Hi... 127 00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:19,745 Hi. 128 00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:24,683 He's not on any pain meds. Clean and sober. 129 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,550 His wishes. 130 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,953 So, just the oxygen, if he needs it. 131 00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,154 But you know how that works. 132 00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,156 I do. 133 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,591 Well, I'll leave you to it. 134 00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:33,992 My cellphone number is on the fridge. 135 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,861 If you need anything, give me a call. 136 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:51,243 I probably can't stay very long. 137 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,779 I just... 138 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,817 There's so much to say, I-I... 139 00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,852 I don't know what to say. 140 00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:04,656 I didn't come here to say anything 141 00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,658 or to hear you say anything to me, so... 142 00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:08,593 we can just sit, if that's okay. 143 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,662 Okay. 144 00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,664 Mom. 145 00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,833 I was looking for you. 146 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,638 You know I give Amelia and Koracick a hard time, 147 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,474 but they're the best. 148 00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:58,043 I was thinking about my first surgery. 149 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:01,480 The very first time I held a scalpel in my hand. 150 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:04,816 It was a simple lipoma, but I was terrified. 151 00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,585 Hmm. 152 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:09,354 I expected to feel so powerful, invincible. 153 00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:10,722 But the second that scrub nurse 154 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,358 put that 10 blade in my hand, 155 00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:14,659 I went ice cold. 156 00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:17,028 Okay, so then what did you do? 157 00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:20,265 Diana Ross. "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." 158 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,501 The first time I heard that song, 159 00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:25,670 it just filled me with joy and such calm... 160 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:26,671 so I just sang it 161 00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:29,441 over and over and over in my head, in that O.R., 162 00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:33,378 until that same sense of calm and joy washed over me. 163 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:34,946 And it's been my secret weapon 164 00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,948 for everything that's ever scared me... 165 00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:38,250 my first surgery. 166 00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:40,685 Labor with you, it was on an endless loop. 167 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:46,224 Every PET scan, every MRI. 168 00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,028 I remember you singing that song in the kitchen 169 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,596 when I was doing my homework. 170 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,632 You told me it was old people music. 171 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,233 You wanted Michael Jackson. 172 00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,302 I love me some Michael. Ooh. 173 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,604 I had to pry that red leather jacket off of you 174 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:00,772 to get you to go to bed at night. 175 00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:03,208 Ah, that's true. 176 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:04,976 Oh. 177 00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,811 I guess I used to do the same thing. 178 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:09,814 My first surgery, I sang a song in my head. 179 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,384 I mean, it calmed me, you know? I know. 180 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,752 I watched you. 181 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:16,154 My first... How did you watch? 182 00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,757 Child, please. I am Catherine Fox. 183 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:19,958 Do you think there's a world 184 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,593 where I wouldn't sneak into the gallery 185 00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:23,428 of my baby's first surgery? 186 00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:25,630 Oh, you were a sight to see... 187 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,632 Mm. 188 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:30,735 I bet Harriet does the same thing someday. 189 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:34,506 Well, I'll be sneaking up into the gallery with you, then. 190 00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:37,309 Deal. 191 00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:40,011 That's a deal. 192 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:43,014 Now, can we please get you to your room? 193 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:45,417 Not yet. 194 00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:46,217 Mom... 195 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,520 I left the foundation in your name, 196 00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,322 just in case anything happens to me. 197 00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,324 Cecilia runs the day-to-day operations, 198 00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,925 Charlie keeps the books humming, 199 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,928 but they'll need a leader, a North Star. 200 00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,697 And in the event that I'm left totally paralyzed... 201 00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,532 Mom, even if you can't operate, 202 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:01,800 you're still gonna run the foundation, okay? 203 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:02,801 You'll teach. 204 00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,803 You're Catherine Fox. What are you gonna do? 205 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,004 You're gonna be all up in my business 206 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,072 and everybody else's. 207 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,540 We both know you're gonna find a way to do that. 208 00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,775 Keep this. Turn the page. 209 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:13,178 I've already... Turn the page. 210 00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,448 You planned your own party? 211 00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:17,582 Mom. 212 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:20,619 If I get out of this alive, the fun we're gonna have... 213 00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,988 and don't you even think about scrimping on those egg rolls. 214 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,623 You know they're my favorite. 215 00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:28,193 You really planned everything. 216 00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,996 I always do. 217 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,197 All right, then. 218 00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:35,400 Shall we? 219 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,010 Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe. 220 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:48,213 Phillip put these everywhere for me. 221 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,348 He said it's supposed to be soothing. 222 00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:51,916 Truth be told, 223 00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,718 it just makes me miss it more. 224 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,722 A few years back, a student told me about 225 00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:01,660 a semester he took abroad building schools. 226 00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:05,830 Lexie was gone, and I thought I could either 227 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,432 drown my grief in a bottle of Scotch 228 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,868 or do something. So I did something. 229 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:14,873 In Zimbabwe. 230 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:19,711 The sunsets, Meredith... and the quiet. 231 00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:22,580 The people that I met, they have this passion 232 00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:26,851 for life, loving, learning... 233 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,757 And then you got sick. 234 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,926 I thought I'd just come home, 235 00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:36,561 do whatever treatment I needed to do, 236 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:39,764 and then go back, but... It was good. Coming home. 237 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:44,436 It gave me a chance to... It was the right thing to do. 238 00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,275 You went and got a whole new life. 239 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,043 I did. 240 00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:55,480 I'm glad for you. 241 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:58,049 I'm glad you saw sunsets and built schools 242 00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,885 for people who needed them and you stayed sober. 243 00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,487 You went and got a whole new life. 244 00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:06,958 Halfway across the world this time. 245 00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:07,759 But you didn't give a damn 246 00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,728 about the people you left behind. 247 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,300 Say it again. 248 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,103 We make an incision posteriorly from C3 to T4, 249 00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:19,504 and then use the stealth probe 250 00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:21,106 to mark the coordinates of the tumor. 251 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,941 And then do partial laminectomies 252 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,744 to access the tumor and remove it en bloc. 253 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:26,911 Perfect. Brilliant. 254 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,313 We are incredible. 255 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,748 Someone should really do a study on us. 256 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,685 Okay, say it. 257 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,087 What? Wh... Oh. No. 258 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:38,456 Ha ha! I'm good. 259 00:12:38,492 --> 00:12:41,025 Good, good, good, good. Big Gun. 260 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,827 Ready to Big Gun the crap out of this tumor. 261 00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,031 Damn it. 262 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,933 Even my arrogance is off. Right? 263 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,935 Right. 264 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,937 W-What if we try, uh, your thing? 265 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,340 You know, the... the word-vomit and the feelings? 266 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,709 That seems to work. For you. 267 00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:58,977 Okay. 268 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,812 You... you first. 269 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,616 This is the largest tumor I've ever seen 270 00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,017 on the biggest legend I've ever known, 271 00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,019 and if I screw this up, I'm gonna have to live out 272 00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:08,987 the rest of my ill-fated surgical career 273 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:09,954 fixing idiot teenagers 274 00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,389 who get hurt cow-tipping in Lawrence, Kansas, 275 00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:12,624 'cause I can't look Richard in the eye 276 00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,058 knowing I gorked his legend wife. 277 00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:16,127 That is specific. 278 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,896 Well... I'm saying, 279 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,064 - how do you get hurt cow-tipping? - It's a thing. 280 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,801 Just... You. Go. 281 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:25,170 Uh, Catherine Fox is an icon, and a magician, 282 00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:26,805 and a giant among men... 283 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,807 and not just for the reasons you think. 284 00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,375 She's saved more penises in her O.R. 285 00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,810 than any surgeon on the planet. 286 00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:32,944 And all I keep imagining 287 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,579 are the dozens of men with zero-functioning penises, 288 00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:35,980 doomed to live out their sexless lives 289 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,849 if I botch this surgery. 290 00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:40,185 That's what you're worried about? 291 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,586 Men and their junk? 292 00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:44,222 That, and if I lose her... 293 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,059 I've lost enough. 294 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:50,895 So let's keep her alive. 295 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,699 Let's keep her alive. 296 00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:11,049 I told them I didn't need a personal escort 297 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:12,784 to my own surgery. 298 00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,185 Well, that's just making sure 299 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:16,020 you don't make a break for it. 300 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,022 Thomas, make sure that I wake up 301 00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:21,025 with good motor and nerve function. 302 00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,962 And don't forget to get clean margins. 303 00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:24,963 I wouldn't dream of it. 304 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,397 And would you tell my husband 305 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,566 he does not have to sit up in that gallery all day? 306 00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:29,567 "For better, for worse" 307 00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:31,970 does not include seeing your wife's insides. 308 00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,605 You know, you wouldn't be you 309 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,406 if you weren't bossing us all around 310 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,041 up until the last second. 311 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:40,078 You nervous? 312 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,446 Were you? 313 00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,883 A little bit. But I turned out just fine. 314 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:45,984 That's because I was perfect, 315 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:48,319 which I'm willing to be again. 316 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:49,454 Well, you better be. 317 00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:50,889 Oh, Richard, I always liked you. 318 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,156 No, you didn't. 319 00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:53,958 And I'm fine as long as she's fine. 320 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,427 Okay, okay, can I have a minute with my husband, please? 321 00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:18,850 I will see you... when I wake up. 322 00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,752 Jackson? 323 00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,954 Where's Jackson? 324 00:15:24,858 --> 00:15:25,823 * Oh, oh, oh, oh * 325 00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:27,025 One for the road? 326 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:30,028 Oh, ha ha! My baby! 327 00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:33,431 * Oh, oh, oh, oh * 328 00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:47,445 * If you need me * 329 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,014 * Call me * 330 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,283 * No matter where you are * 331 00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,285 * No matter how far * 332 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,721 * No wind * * No wind * 333 00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:58,323 * No rain * * No rain * 334 00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:01,159 * Can stop me, babe * 335 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:04,228 * If you're my goal * 336 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:09,233 * Oh, oh, oh, oh * 337 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:11,903 * Ain't no mountain high enough * 338 00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:14,372 * Ain't no valley low enough * * Ooh, ooh-ooh * 339 00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,407 * Ain't no river wide enough * 340 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:19,177 * To keep me from you * 341 00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:24,215 * Ain't no mountain high enough * 342 00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:29,187 * Nothing can keep me, keep me from you * 343 00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,389 * Ain't no mountain high enough to keep me from you * 344 00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:41,199 * You've been running all over town * 345 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:44,402 Just like that, we are ready to navigate. 346 00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:47,405 Don't you want to confirm the accuracy first? 347 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,840 Oh, what would I do without someone hee 348 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,842 to remind me of the obvious? 349 00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:53,478 I'm just saying, maybe a little less music, 350 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,512 a little more concentration. 351 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:58,850 * All you want to do is ride around, Sally * 352 00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:01,486 * Ride, Sally, ride * 353 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,920 Whoo! 354 00:17:02,956 --> 00:17:05,556 This is going to be a long day. 355 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:09,727 And you are gonna love every minute of it. 356 00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:11,562 We're gonna get don in there. 357 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,164 Get down and dirt. Here we go. 358 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,733 * All you want to do is ride around, Sally * 359 00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:20,104 * Ride, Sally, ride * 360 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:24,008 * All you want to do is ride around, Sally* 361 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,276 Mind if I join you? 362 00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:26,878 * Ride, Sally, ride * 363 00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:28,246 I'd like that. 364 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:31,682 * One of these early mornings * 365 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,051 * I'm gonna be wiping those weeping eyes * 366 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,420 How's the resection going? 367 00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,288 So far so good. 368 00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:39,590 Come on. Let it loose. Let it out. 369 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,592 Are you sure you don't want to be in the waiting room? 370 00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,461 I can watch, and I can report back to you guys. 371 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:46,064 No, I'm fine right where I am. I-I'm good. 372 00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,598 * I bought you a brand-new mustang * 373 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,402 Do it with me. Come on, now. 374 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,404 You're mad. 375 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,605 I'm not mad. 376 00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:56,974 Meredith... 377 00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:58,643 Fine. I'm mad. 378 00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,478 Because I moved away. 379 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,480 Because you ran away. 380 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:05,583 Because you have never fought for anyone or anything 381 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,785 that you cared for in your life. 382 00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:09,787 You just disappear. 383 00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:12,623 When I gave you a piece of my liver, 384 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,325 you said we would try, right? 385 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:16,561 You said we could get to know each other. 386 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,464 You didn't try. You didn't fight. 387 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:20,731 And when Lexie died... 388 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,333 I know. I know. No, you don't know, 389 00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:23,501 because you weren't here. 390 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,737 I lost my sister. I lost my husband. 391 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,573 And you were nowhere to be found. 392 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:29,507 That's not... 393 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:33,010 Meredith, I was there after Derek died. 394 00:18:33,046 --> 00:18:34,445 No, why would you say something like that? 395 00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,447 Because it's the truth, Meredith. 396 00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,416 Richard told me Derek died. I bought a ticket. 397 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,350 I flew all day, all night. 398 00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:42,153 I got to the funeral just... just in time. 399 00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:44,188 I stood a few rows back. 400 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:46,991 Next to some of your doctor friends from the hospital. 401 00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:49,794 I would remember if you were at his funeral. 402 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:50,795 I was there, Meredith. 403 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,598 But you were barely there. You were a ghost. 404 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,801 You looked like me when I lost Susan and Lexie. 405 00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,703 Are you saying you came to the funeral 406 00:18:58,738 --> 00:18:59,770 and didn't speak to me? 407 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,540 I felt like it would... would have been for me, 408 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:05,143 - not... - not... not... 409 00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:08,346 for... for you. 410 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,616 Let's get you to the bed. 411 00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:37,542 I came home, Meredith. For you. 412 00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:49,520 * And you're standing here beside me * 413 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,522 This microscope is a game changer. 414 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:52,590 I know. I feel like I could just walk into the screen 415 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,426 and surf on the spinal cor. 416 00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:58,663 * Never for money, always for love * 417 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:02,233 * Cover up and say goodnight * 418 00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:03,568 * Say goodnight * 419 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,403 All right... 420 00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:09,707 it looks like we are clear to remove the tumor en bloc. 421 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:12,577 Except... hang on. 422 00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,347 I can't get it free. 423 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,882 Okay, then. Time to suck and pluc. 424 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:18,983 - I'm sorry, what? - The tumor's like a grape. 425 00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:21,052 You suck out the inside, then you pluck out the skin. 426 00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:22,453 Suck and pluck. 427 00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,188 - Could you call it something else? - Like what? 428 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:26,958 Literally anything else. 429 00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,528 I hate this dude. 430 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,730 -Jackson, sit. -No, I hate him. For real. 431 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:33,464 I want to jump through this glass 432 00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:35,299 and just, like, choke him out. 433 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:36,100 He is bopping. 434 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,202 He's bopping over my mom's spine. 435 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,971 I mean, who does that? Maybe you should take a walk. 436 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:42,206 I'm gonna take a walk now. 437 00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:49,447 Richard, this can't be good for you either. 438 00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:53,985 The first year or so Catherine and I were together, 439 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,387 we figured out how to make the long distance work 440 00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,656 because we'd promise to show up 441 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,925 whenever we needed, however we needed. 442 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,127 It's what you do for the people you love. 443 00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:05,896 She may fuss, 444 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:09,667 but I don't need to ask her where she wants me to be. 445 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,769 I'm already here. 446 00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:13,771 * Make it up as we go along * 447 00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,573 Are you okay if I... 448 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,308 It's fine. Go. 449 00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:18,909 * Head in the sky * 450 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:22,580 * It's okay, I know nothing's wrong * 451 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:25,650 * Nothing's wrong, oh * 452 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,652 * I got plenty of time * 453 00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:30,855 You gonna lecture me, too, on how I shouldn't be here? 454 00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:31,889 You shouldn't be. 455 00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:33,924 * Oh, you got light in your eyes * 456 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,294 But that's not my call. 457 00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:39,263 It's not decompressing. What do you mean 458 00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:40,865 It's too dense, like it's made of... 459 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:42,166 I don't know what... cartilage, 460 00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:45,369 small chips of hard calcifications. 461 00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:47,104 Damn it. I can't get it either. 462 00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,372 Kill the music. 463 00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:54,478 We need to go in from the front. 464 00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:56,714 Her spine is open. 465 00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:58,182 It's all exposed. 466 00:21:58,217 --> 00:21:59,183 If we move her, 467 00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:01,719 we risk losing function in her forearm and hand. 468 00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:02,720 It's the only way. 469 00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:06,057 Okay, well, let me ask you one question first... 470 00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:07,958 Are you insane? We close up the incision. 471 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,360 We flip her onto her side. I go in from the front. 472 00:22:09,395 --> 00:22:10,795 We meet in the middle to decompress 473 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:11,662 and unearth this thing. 474 00:22:11,698 --> 00:22:12,897 So the answer is yes, you are insane. 475 00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:14,865 We'll get a few more peope in here, we can flip her. 476 00:22:14,901 --> 00:22:16,467 And keep her still and not sever her spine? 477 00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:18,235 Not to mention having to break scrub, 478 00:22:18,271 --> 00:22:20,338 - re-drape, rescrub... - Cow-tipping in Kansas! 479 00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:21,472 Dozens of sexless men! 480 00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:23,341 If it were you again on the table, 481 00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:24,709 what would you want? 482 00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:34,919 For the record, I do not like you. 483 00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:40,524 Shut down the gallery. 484 00:22:52,338 --> 00:22:53,938 There you are. 485 00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:07,151 Mom's always been larger than life, you know? 486 00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:10,521 Laughs harder, yells louder than anyone. 487 00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,723 She's the life of the party. 488 00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,158 Even if it's my birthday party 489 00:23:14,193 --> 00:23:15,726 and she's taking over the dance floor. 490 00:23:17,363 --> 00:23:18,963 Sounds amazing. 491 00:23:18,998 --> 00:23:20,364 I was 16. It was mortifying. 492 00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:25,336 She'd always do that. 493 00:23:25,371 --> 00:23:26,270 She always inserted herself 494 00:23:26,305 --> 00:23:29,140 in every single aspect of my life, you know, 495 00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:30,074 whether I wanted her to or not... 496 00:23:30,109 --> 00:23:33,844 Hell, whether I even knew about it or not. 497 00:23:35,281 --> 00:23:37,114 And, um... 498 00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:44,355 Now I can't, uh... 499 00:23:44,390 --> 00:23:48,526 I can't imagine what a room would even feel like 500 00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:54,165 without her in it taking up all that space. 501 00:23:54,200 --> 00:24:00,304 It was different... losing Samuel. 502 00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:08,379 That was more like... 503 00:24:08,414 --> 00:24:10,548 like my world collapsing around me, you know? 504 00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:12,383 And this, I just... 505 00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:19,490 I feel like... a scared little kid. 506 00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:27,898 Like nothing is safe. 507 00:24:27,934 --> 00:24:29,300 Like the world's upside down 508 00:24:29,335 --> 00:24:31,101 and nothing makes any sense anymore. 509 00:24:31,137 --> 00:24:33,304 Yeah. Yeah. 510 00:24:33,339 --> 00:24:36,140 I don't like it. I know. 511 00:24:36,175 --> 00:24:40,311 I don't like it. I know. I know. 512 00:24:59,198 --> 00:25:01,966 Okay. Let's rock and roll. 513 00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:06,504 On my count, one, two, three. 514 00:25:09,475 --> 00:25:11,976 Good, good, good. Easy. 515 00:25:24,390 --> 00:25:25,956 Let's secure her hips. 516 00:25:32,565 --> 00:25:33,964 She's good. 517 00:25:37,136 --> 00:25:39,870 Okay, they did it. She's okay. 518 00:25:59,091 --> 00:26:00,291 You ready, Bokie? 519 00:26:03,596 --> 00:26:05,229 Okay. Deep breath, everybody. 520 00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:06,463 Scalpel. 521 00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:22,379 Dr. Koracick? 522 00:26:25,184 --> 00:26:26,283 Tom. 523 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:29,320 I think I'm gonna have trouble 524 00:26:29,355 --> 00:26:31,488 getting around the C7 facet 525 00:26:31,524 --> 00:26:34,425 while keeping the tumor retracted from this angle. 526 00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:35,759 Maybe you could give it a try? 527 00:26:39,599 --> 00:26:42,499 Please, I could do that in my sleep. 528 00:26:42,535 --> 00:26:43,434 Show off. 529 00:26:54,580 --> 00:26:56,347 -Scalpel. -Scalpel. 530 00:27:10,563 --> 00:27:13,130 Is that when you and Richard started talking? 531 00:27:13,165 --> 00:27:14,531 After the funeral? 532 00:27:19,939 --> 00:27:22,306 I tried calling you. 533 00:27:22,341 --> 00:27:23,907 You never called back. 534 00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:25,109 And I worried. 535 00:27:25,144 --> 00:27:28,746 At first, I was just checking in on you. 536 00:27:30,249 --> 00:27:33,784 Mm, Richard and I started... 537 00:27:33,819 --> 00:27:35,786 ...talking about a lot of things. 538 00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:39,223 We both had amends to make. 539 00:27:39,258 --> 00:27:40,991 There are so many things 540 00:27:41,027 --> 00:27:44,461 I could say I'm sorry for, Meredith. 541 00:27:44,497 --> 00:27:48,999 But all I really want to say is thank you. 542 00:27:49,035 --> 00:27:51,402 Thank you for what? 543 00:27:53,005 --> 00:27:57,841 For so long, I measured my life 544 00:27:57,877 --> 00:28:03,447 in the things done to me, taken from me. 545 00:28:03,482 --> 00:28:09,253 Now I can see my life for exactly what it is. 546 00:28:09,288 --> 00:28:11,655 Some people have more pain than others. 547 00:28:11,691 --> 00:28:15,025 But no one, nothing, was conspiring against me. 548 00:28:15,061 --> 00:28:18,829 When you gave me a piece of your liver, 549 00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:23,600 you gave me time, precious time. 550 00:28:23,636 --> 00:28:27,504 Time to get your head out of your own ass? 551 00:28:36,515 --> 00:28:39,483 Y... Y... You could say that. 552 00:28:39,518 --> 00:28:45,956 I had a life, Meredith, 'cause of you. 553 00:28:45,991 --> 00:28:52,529 My own real, honest, painful, incredible life. 554 00:28:52,565 --> 00:28:57,835 I just wish you and I could have shared it. 555 00:28:57,870 --> 00:29:02,673 Well, I guess you did try this time. 556 00:29:02,708 --> 00:29:04,041 I just didn't know. 557 00:29:06,712 --> 00:29:08,245 I miss Lexie. 558 00:29:09,615 --> 00:29:11,548 I miss her so much. 559 00:29:11,584 --> 00:29:15,085 Me too. 560 00:29:15,121 --> 00:29:18,522 I'm sorry you lost her. 561 00:29:18,557 --> 00:29:22,793 I know how much it... it meant to you, having a sister. 562 00:29:24,730 --> 00:29:26,697 I have another sister. 563 00:29:26,732 --> 00:29:31,502 But you and Molly, you were never close. 564 00:29:34,707 --> 00:29:36,774 Her name is Maggie. 565 00:29:36,809 --> 00:29:39,176 Oh... 566 00:29:39,211 --> 00:29:41,678 She's brilliant. And kind. 567 00:29:41,714 --> 00:29:45,582 She's the best of Ellis and Richard. 568 00:29:45,618 --> 00:29:50,721 Your... Your mother and Richard had a baby. 569 00:29:56,662 --> 00:30:00,063 At least something good came from all that. 570 00:30:06,504 --> 00:30:09,706 I'm gonna get a humpback operating with you. 571 00:30:09,742 --> 00:30:10,908 I'm already standing on a step stool. 572 00:30:10,943 --> 00:30:11,909 what more do you want from me? 573 00:30:11,944 --> 00:30:13,177 Heels? 574 00:30:13,212 --> 00:30:15,946 Okay, it looks like the tumor 575 00:30:15,981 --> 00:30:17,181 is free of the brachial plexus. 576 00:30:17,216 --> 00:30:18,348 Should we try to pull it out? 577 00:30:18,384 --> 00:30:19,750 Let's do it. 578 00:30:20,786 --> 00:30:22,186 We've lost all the signal from one arm. 579 00:30:22,221 --> 00:30:24,454 The tumor is moving pretty easily. 580 00:30:24,490 --> 00:30:25,489 Check your machine. Could be artifact. 581 00:30:25,524 --> 00:30:28,392 No, there's still a little tension from my side. 582 00:30:28,427 --> 00:30:31,028 I... I think it's coming from the root. 583 00:30:31,063 --> 00:30:33,363 Which means there's no way to remove this without... 584 00:30:33,399 --> 00:30:34,765 Risking paralysis. 585 00:30:37,770 --> 00:30:38,635 If they can't remove the whole tumor, 586 00:30:38,671 --> 00:30:40,571 they're gonna have to do it piecemeal. 587 00:30:40,606 --> 00:30:42,206 But then they risk 588 00:30:42,241 --> 00:30:44,241 leaving some of the tumor behind. 589 00:30:49,014 --> 00:30:50,781 What? 590 00:30:55,487 --> 00:30:56,753 My path pen. 591 00:30:56,789 --> 00:30:58,555 Remove the tumor piecemeal, 592 00:30:58,591 --> 00:31:00,557 and then use the pen to see if you got it all. 593 00:31:00,593 --> 00:31:02,759 Okay, it hasn't cleared FDA process yet, 594 00:31:02,795 --> 00:31:06,263 and it isn't on the market, but I'm telling you, it works. 595 00:31:09,835 --> 00:31:12,169 I really have always liked you, Richard. 596 00:31:12,204 --> 00:31:14,404 No, you haven't. 597 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,473 Yes. Get it. 598 00:31:24,116 --> 00:31:26,283 And that twitch over her right eye 599 00:31:26,318 --> 00:31:28,085 when you switched the ice maker 600 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:28,919 from cubed to crushed. 601 00:31:28,954 --> 00:31:30,854 "What kind of a monster crushes ice? 602 00:31:30,890 --> 00:31:32,356 It's uncivilized." 603 00:31:32,391 --> 00:31:34,858 Crushed ice was uncivilized. 604 00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:36,460 Taking my last cup of coffee... 605 00:31:36,495 --> 00:31:38,195 uncivilized. Uncivilized. 606 00:31:38,230 --> 00:31:41,031 Getting an A- in Chem Lab. 607 00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:43,033 Uncivilized. Uncivilized. 608 00:31:43,068 --> 00:31:45,035 She was... 609 00:31:45,070 --> 00:31:46,270 Kind of a tyrant. 610 00:31:46,305 --> 00:31:47,371 But brilliant. 611 00:31:47,406 --> 00:31:49,473 Oh, I can't argue with that. 612 00:31:49,508 --> 00:31:50,874 Terrible driver. 613 00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:53,477 Can't argue with that. 614 00:31:53,512 --> 00:31:56,179 But she was extraordinary. 615 00:31:56,215 --> 00:31:59,816 Yeah. Oh. 616 00:31:59,852 --> 00:32:01,952 Do you regret marrying her? 617 00:32:03,989 --> 00:32:06,957 The entire time she was pregnant with you, 618 00:32:06,992 --> 00:32:09,159 she pretended she wasn't. 619 00:32:09,194 --> 00:32:12,963 I don't know if it was stubbornness or denial. 620 00:32:12,998 --> 00:32:14,531 Maybe both. 621 00:32:14,566 --> 00:32:18,335 Nine months, she had to do everything herself. 622 00:32:18,370 --> 00:32:20,537 And I had to let her. 623 00:32:20,572 --> 00:32:23,340 The night she went into labor, she came home after surgery, 624 00:32:23,375 --> 00:32:28,712 and she just stood in the doorway, wide-eyed. 625 00:32:28,747 --> 00:32:32,349 "We're having a baby, Thatch. 626 00:32:32,384 --> 00:32:36,420 We're having a baby." 627 00:32:39,892 --> 00:32:43,060 As if the idea just hit her, right there. 628 00:32:43,095 --> 00:32:46,063 She... She started to laugh. She couldn't stop laughing. 629 00:32:46,098 --> 00:32:49,666 Laughed all the way to the hospital. 630 00:32:49,702 --> 00:32:52,736 I never heard her laugh like that, 631 00:32:52,771 --> 00:32:56,840 so big, so free. 632 00:32:58,877 --> 00:33:02,379 And I just thought, "Wow. 633 00:33:02,414 --> 00:33:06,516 What a way for you to come into the world." 634 00:33:06,552 --> 00:33:10,287 We weren't perfect. 635 00:33:10,322 --> 00:33:13,457 We weren't even happy a lot of the time. 636 00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:17,027 But I'd marry her all over again 637 00:33:17,062 --> 00:33:21,398 for that night, that laugh. 638 00:33:21,433 --> 00:33:23,266 And you. 639 00:33:23,302 --> 00:33:26,403 And this. 640 00:33:26,438 --> 00:33:31,575 I'd do it all again for this. 641 00:33:39,985 --> 00:33:41,151 How can there still be cancer there? 642 00:33:41,186 --> 00:33:42,386 We've been at this for hours. 643 00:33:42,421 --> 00:33:44,121 It's still lighting up like Christmas. 644 00:33:44,156 --> 00:33:46,323 Let's just keep going. 645 00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:48,725 We'll hit clear tissue eventually. 646 00:33:50,929 --> 00:33:52,095 Signal's fading again. 647 00:33:52,131 --> 00:33:53,597 She's losing function in her arms. 648 00:33:53,632 --> 00:33:55,766 - We've barely touched anything. - Breathe. 649 00:33:55,801 --> 00:33:58,568 We are going in the right direction. 650 00:33:58,604 --> 00:33:59,503 Losing the signal in her other arm... 651 00:33:59,538 --> 00:34:01,905 Okay, stop it! We know! If we keep going, 652 00:34:01,940 --> 00:34:03,507 we cost Catherine her motor function, 653 00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:05,609 her career, her life as she knows it... we know! 654 00:34:16,522 --> 00:34:18,288 Meredith... 655 00:34:18,323 --> 00:34:20,257 Okay, don't try to speak. 656 00:34:20,292 --> 00:34:22,826 But... the closet. 657 00:34:22,861 --> 00:34:24,294 I left something... 658 00:34:24,329 --> 00:34:27,330 I don't need anything. 659 00:34:27,366 --> 00:34:29,766 ...for your kids. 660 00:34:31,804 --> 00:34:34,371 I wish... 661 00:34:34,406 --> 00:34:36,873 I wish I knew them. 662 00:34:36,909 --> 00:34:40,610 I thought of... I thought of them. 663 00:34:44,016 --> 00:34:45,649 Ahh. 664 00:34:45,684 --> 00:34:49,719 Your hands are so cold. 665 00:34:49,755 --> 00:34:50,954 Sorry, I can... 666 00:34:50,989 --> 00:34:54,357 No, no, no. 667 00:34:54,393 --> 00:34:56,126 Oh, it feels good. 668 00:35:02,167 --> 00:35:07,571 Zola is so smart and so strong. 669 00:35:07,606 --> 00:35:10,407 Yeah? And she keeps me on my toes 670 00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:12,909 every minute of every day. 671 00:35:12,945 --> 00:35:17,347 And Bailey says "funny" before every sentence. 672 00:35:17,382 --> 00:35:19,716 "Funny, I'd like an apple. 673 00:35:19,751 --> 00:35:22,152 Funny, I need pajamas." 674 00:35:22,187 --> 00:35:25,355 It's so cute. 675 00:35:25,390 --> 00:35:29,493 And Ellis... she is brave. 676 00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:32,929 And she's obsessed with hip-hop. 677 00:35:32,965 --> 00:35:39,169 They are exhausting... and amazing. 678 00:35:41,607 --> 00:35:45,175 I wish you knew them, too. 679 00:35:45,210 --> 00:35:48,578 Because they are so, so beautiful. 680 00:36:31,757 --> 00:36:32,989 How... 681 00:36:34,393 --> 00:36:36,159 Easy. Easy, Mom. 682 00:36:36,195 --> 00:36:38,995 How... How... Easy, easy, easy, easy. 683 00:36:40,599 --> 00:36:42,432 Hey. 684 00:36:42,467 --> 00:36:44,768 -Mm-hmm. -Uh-huh. 685 00:36:44,803 --> 00:36:48,038 Okay. Hold on, hold on. 686 00:36:48,073 --> 00:36:51,575 All right. Well, your reflexes are normal. 687 00:36:51,610 --> 00:36:55,912 My hands and feet move. Whoo. 688 00:36:55,948 --> 00:36:59,049 I'm not dead? With that tumor? 689 00:36:59,084 --> 00:37:00,951 No, you're most definitely not dead. 690 00:37:00,986 --> 00:37:03,186 Oh, I thought for sure they were gonna kill me. 691 00:37:07,326 --> 00:37:11,928 What? 692 00:37:11,964 --> 00:37:13,530 Tell me. 693 00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:16,733 Catherine, when we went in to get the tumor, 694 00:37:16,768 --> 00:37:19,402 it was adherent to your brachial plexus. 695 00:37:19,438 --> 00:37:22,939 We were able to remove about 95% of it, 696 00:37:22,975 --> 00:37:25,942 but we had to leave one nodule behind. 697 00:37:25,978 --> 00:37:31,047 So... radiation? Chemo? 698 00:37:33,151 --> 00:37:36,119 They've had some success with proton beam therapy. 699 00:37:36,154 --> 00:37:38,054 Some? 700 00:37:38,090 --> 00:37:42,659 It's likely, even with treatment... 701 00:37:42,694 --> 00:37:44,661 I'll have to live with this cancer 702 00:37:44,696 --> 00:37:46,496 the rest of my life. 703 00:37:46,531 --> 00:37:51,101 I was sure you'd get it all or kill me trying. 704 00:37:51,136 --> 00:37:53,103 So did we. 705 00:37:53,138 --> 00:37:55,772 Catherine, I'm so sorry. 706 00:37:57,209 --> 00:37:59,743 Sorry? I'm alive. 707 00:37:59,778 --> 00:38:03,513 I can live with this for many years. 708 00:38:03,548 --> 00:38:07,651 People live with cancer. We've all seen it happen. 709 00:38:07,686 --> 00:38:09,252 You're gonna have to get, uh, scans every three months 710 00:38:09,288 --> 00:38:11,488 to make sure the tumor doesn't, uh, grow. 711 00:38:11,523 --> 00:38:13,156 And in between, I'll operate. 712 00:38:13,191 --> 00:38:15,859 Mm. And I'll hug my son. 713 00:38:15,894 --> 00:38:17,661 Mm. 714 00:38:17,696 --> 00:38:20,130 Make love to my husband. 715 00:38:20,165 --> 00:38:20,897 Okay... 716 00:38:20,932 --> 00:38:25,101 Chase my Harriet, make mistakes, 717 00:38:25,137 --> 00:38:28,004 and fight about who gets to pick the movie on date night. 718 00:38:32,144 --> 00:38:34,678 You two have given me my life back. 719 00:38:36,682 --> 00:38:38,014 Now what? 720 00:38:38,050 --> 00:38:39,549 'Cause we didn't plan on this. 721 00:38:41,186 --> 00:38:43,453 These two pulled off a miracle. 722 00:38:43,488 --> 00:38:47,123 Miracles aren't always punctuation marks. 723 00:38:47,159 --> 00:38:49,125 But they are worth celebrating. 724 00:38:49,161 --> 00:38:51,528 So we are gonna have that party. 725 00:38:51,563 --> 00:38:54,631 We just might have to wait a couple of months 726 00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:56,566 so I can get on the dance floor. 727 00:38:58,270 --> 00:39:01,171 I love you. 728 00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:21,257 Hey. I heard about the surgery. 729 00:39:21,293 --> 00:39:22,425 Congratulations. 730 00:39:22,461 --> 00:39:23,226 Oh. I know, I know. 731 00:39:23,261 --> 00:39:24,694 You knew I had it in me all along. 732 00:39:24,730 --> 00:39:26,496 Honestly? I was on the fence. 733 00:39:30,268 --> 00:39:32,869 You should be really proud. 734 00:39:32,904 --> 00:39:35,605 There are not a lot of surgeons who could do that. 735 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,240 Which part? 736 00:39:37,275 --> 00:39:38,408 Where I flipped my friend like a pancake 737 00:39:38,443 --> 00:39:40,343 or failed to leave her cancer free? 738 00:39:40,379 --> 00:39:42,545 The part where you saved her life 739 00:39:42,581 --> 00:39:44,180 and her surgical career. 740 00:39:46,952 --> 00:39:49,185 Yeah, that part wasn't half bad. 741 00:39:51,123 --> 00:39:53,723 You should celebrate. 742 00:39:53,759 --> 00:39:54,791 Why don't you get cleaned up? 743 00:39:54,826 --> 00:39:56,526 I'll meet you at Joe's, and I'll buy you a drink. 744 00:39:56,561 --> 00:39:58,928 Uh... w... Can we take a rain check? 745 00:39:58,964 --> 00:40:01,231 I... I'm wiped. And I-I smell bad. 746 00:40:01,266 --> 00:40:06,035 And when you spend money on me, I want to smell good. 747 00:40:06,071 --> 00:40:08,037 Yeah. Okay. 748 00:40:08,073 --> 00:40:09,239 Night. 749 00:40:09,274 --> 00:40:11,241 Goodnight. 750 00:40:16,348 --> 00:40:18,314 When it comes to medicine, 751 00:40:18,350 --> 00:40:21,484 who's to say what is winning or losing? 752 00:40:24,523 --> 00:40:26,322 There's just as much value in trying again 753 00:40:26,358 --> 00:40:29,292 as there is in letting go... 754 00:40:29,327 --> 00:40:33,396 I saved my friend today, David. 755 00:40:35,834 --> 00:40:39,235 I didn't think I-I could, and it wasn't perfect. 756 00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,240 Your dad was kind of a badass. 757 00:40:46,211 --> 00:40:49,979 letting go of suffering, regret, pain, fear. 758 00:41:11,069 --> 00:41:17,841 I operated on a freaking legend's spine today. 759 00:41:17,876 --> 00:41:20,009 And it was terrifying. 760 00:41:20,045 --> 00:41:22,812 And exhilarating. 761 00:41:22,848 --> 00:41:25,181 And imperfect. 762 00:41:27,853 --> 00:41:31,221 Mostly terrifying. 763 00:41:31,256 --> 00:41:32,322 Because she's not just a legend. 764 00:41:32,357 --> 00:41:36,025 She matters so much to so many people that I love... 765 00:41:40,432 --> 00:41:42,198 Most of my life, I have been chasing 766 00:41:42,234 --> 00:41:47,237 the kind of high that I feel right now. 767 00:41:50,075 --> 00:41:53,209 I gave a surgeon back her hands today. 768 00:41:53,245 --> 00:41:58,314 I gave a husband his wife, a son his mother. 769 00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,487 And I am so incredibly grateful to be sober... 770 00:42:06,525 --> 00:42:08,491 ...to be present enough to have felt 771 00:42:08,527 --> 00:42:14,264 every terrifying, exhilarating, 772 00:42:14,299 --> 00:42:16,499 imperfect moment. 773 00:42:19,371 --> 00:42:20,904 Instead of saying someone we love 774 00:42:20,939 --> 00:42:26,442 is battling, beating, fightin, winning, or losing, 775 00:42:26,478 --> 00:42:28,077 why don't we just tell the truth. 776 00:42:29,548 --> 00:42:32,081 There you go, sweethearts. 777 00:42:34,119 --> 00:42:36,085 We get sick. We take our medicine... 778 00:42:37,923 --> 00:42:40,256 Wow. So cool. 779 00:42:40,292 --> 00:42:42,258 Where did you get it, Mommy? 780 00:42:42,294 --> 00:42:45,094 Uh, your grandfather, Thatcher. 781 00:42:45,130 --> 00:42:47,697 He wanted you to have it, and he wanted you to know 782 00:42:47,732 --> 00:42:49,465 that he cared about you very much... 783 00:42:49,501 --> 00:42:51,134 Funny, I love it. 784 00:42:51,169 --> 00:42:54,404 ...some of us live, some die. 785 00:42:54,439 --> 00:42:57,373 Mommy, are you okay? 786 00:42:57,409 --> 00:43:03,313 Yes, Zo-Zo. I will be fine. 787 00:43:04,348 --> 00:43:09,416 www.subtitulamos.tv